Izzy, Gilby, Tommy, Matt and Steve are in the room, waiting for the others to come. Everyone is looking at Tommy.
Gilby: Who the fuck are you?
Tommy: Well... Axl called me up to play bass on Chinese Democracy.
Izzy: Really? I tried to contact Axl, because he's my friend. But he rejected me! *starts crying*.
Gilby: So really? What was it like?
Tommy: I can't remember really... last time I was in the studio was seven years ago. But I released 3 solo albums...
Matt: Yeah, yeah, we don't care! When is Chinese Democracy due to come out?
Tommy: I heard some songs from the album and they're amazing!
Gilby: Dude... You recorded the album....
Tommy: So I released 3 solo albums...
Everyone: WHATEVER!!!
Matt: Hey guys, you know what Velvet Revolver stands for?
Gilby: *sigh* Not again...
Matt: MY PENIS!!! Hahahahahahahaha!
Steve: Hey wanna hear about my new project?
Gilby: Hey do you know if the other drummer's coming? What's his name?
Steve: Me?
Izzy: Can't remember... Maybe James? I dunno... Is he coming?
Steve: GUYS!
Matt: Yeah where is the poor junkie? Probably boning some groupie!!! Hahahaha... wait... He has no groupies...
Steve: What the fuck? Hello?
Izzy: Awful drummer...
Steve: DUDE I'M RIGHT FUCKING HERE!!!!
Gilby: Tommy, you have any idea?
Tommy: No. But I heard some songs from Chinese Democracy and they sound amazing!
Gilby: What's wrong with him?
Steve: Fuck you guys! Where's my cowbell?
*Axl walks in the room, followed by Buckethead. From the other side in walks Slash followed by Scott Weiland*
Axl and Slash: WHAT THE FUCK???
*Izzy runs to Axl and hugs him*
Izzy: Bill!!!!!!!!!!
Axl: *Sigh* Oh my... Who invited this faggot?
Slash: OK, nice meeting ya! I'm not doing this!
Buckethead: ... *sighs and looks at the floor*
Axl: Now look what you did!!! You made him all sad!!! *pets Buckethead's bucket* Don't mind the mean hairy guy...
Scott: Look at the lights... This is the way freedom smells like... It's so big.... So big.... So big... So big... So big.... So big.... It's so big... So big...
Everybody: What the fuck???
Slash: Oh that's nothing... You should see our writing sessions!
Matt: You should see my orgy sessions! Hahahahahaha!!!!
*Everybody looks puzzled*
Slash: Whatever dude...
Gilby: Where's Dizzy and Duff?
Axl: Dizzy's washing my car.
*Duff walks in the door dressed in a suit and looks sober and intelligent. No one recognizes him*
Axl: Who the fuck are you?
Duff: It's me... Duff...
Gilby: Fuck off dude... We sign autographs later.
Duff: Dudes... It's me! Fucking Duff! Duff McKagan? Michael???
Axl: Dude, please fuck off... If you're Duff why are you standing straight? Where is the booze bottle and why aren't you lying in a puddle of your own vomit yet?
Duff: Dude, booze almost killed me, I don't drink no more.
*Axl jumps at Duff and starts kicking his ass. The guys separate them*
Axl: Thanks to the lame ass Duff, I'm going home!
Matt: Dude, what the fuck? It's a reunion!
Axl: That's it!!!! You're fired! Get the fuck outta here!
Matt: Dude... I don't even work for you anymore...
Axl: Get out! Come on!
Steve: Can I replace him?
Matt: I already "Came on" somebody last night! Hahahahahahahaha!!!
Steve: Axl? Guys?
Duff: Dude, what the fuck, you're married.
Matt: WHAT THE FUCK???? Sorry guys got a few phone calls to make! *walks out*.
Axl: Where's the other drummer?
Steve: I'm right here, man!
Gilby: You mean Brain?
Axl: I'm pretty sure we had another one... Black haired dude...
Steve: What the fuck dude??? I'm fucking blonde! I'm right here!!!
Slash: I think he OD-ed man.
Steve: No I didn't! Here I fucking am!!!
Duff: Poor junkie...
Gilby: So guys let's like... Share memories and shit...
Axl: Hey, You guys remember the time I made you sign that contract that said Guns n Roses name belongs to me?
Everybody: No....
Axl: That's good... Just checking!
Slash: Uhmmm... Whatever dude...
*Duff turns the radio on*
Axl: Look guys... I wanted to say I'm sorry for everything i put you through...
Duff: Dudes listen to the fucking news!!!
Radio: Our field reporter tells us Hell just FROZE OVER!!!
Axl: *Notices Tommy* and who the hell are you?
Tommy: I heard some songs from the album! They sound amazing!!!
Axl: Oh, you're that dude.... I fired this guy 3 years ago... Geez....
*everybody sit down to share some memories... Suddenly Vince Neil walks in*
Vince: Motley Crue ROCKS!!!!! What's up guys????
*Everybody look puzzled*
Vince: Oh fuck... that ain't Nikki... This ain't the Motley reunion.
Duff: Dude you better run!
Vince: *Turns around to run away*: Oh hey Steve! *Runs