Slash, Duff, Dave and Matt all sit in a large room with their instruments ready.
Slash: Wow that last guy was awful.
Duff: That was a chick, man.
Slash: Whatever... Next.
*In walks Sebastian Bach*
Duff: Hey aren't you that dude from Poison?
Bach: Skid Raw.
Slash: Whatever, you sucked anyway.
Matt: That's what I said to this girl I dumped last night! Hahahahahahaha...
*Dave smacks Matt upside the head*
Duff: OK let's hear it.
*Band begins to play*
Bach: *screeching voice* aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
*everybody stop*
Slash: Axl is that you with a wig again? Get this guy outta here...
*two security guys grab Bach and pull him out*
Slash: Next!
*Avril Lavigne walks in*
Slash: I thought I said get Axl the fuck outta here!!!! [Writer note: stolen this joke from the other guy who posted a skit, credit to him]
*Two security guys tackle poor Avril to the ground and pull her out*
Duff: We are never gonna find a singer that way.
Dave: Yeah well...
Slash: Hey... Who are you?
Dave: Dude, I'm Dave... Rhythm guitarist?
Slash: Whatever man...
Duff: Next.
*Scott Weiland walks in*
Duff: Let's hear it.
*Band begins to play*
Scott: So set me free, set me free... set me free, set me free... set me free.... set me free, set me free, set me free... Ahhhhhhh, set me free... set me free, set me free, set me free... set me free.... set me free
*Everybody stop playing, Scott keeps singing*
Slash: What the fuck?
Dave: Dude, I think he's stuck.
Slash: Who are you again?
*Duff walks over to Scott*
Duff: Dude.... Hey dude... DUDE WILL YOU STOP SINGING THE SAME FUCKING THREE WORDS A THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES AND DANCING LIKE A FLAMING FAGGOT AND FOR GOD'S SAKE DIDN'T YOUR MOMMA TELL YOU TO EAT EVERYTHING FROM THE FUCKING PLATE???
*Scott stops*
Scott: How was it guys?
Slash: You know what? I like it...
Matt: That's what that groupie said to me last night! Hahahahahahaha!
*Dave smacks Matt upside the head*
Matt: Hey! Stop it! We don't even know who the fuck you are! Anyway... I don't like him.
Duff: Let's do our final test.
*Slash takes out a piece of paper and a pen*
Slash: Did you sell millions of records?
Scott: Yes.
Slash: Check. Do you do drugs and can overdose every second?
Scott: Yes.
Slash: Check. Do you promise to be always on time for shows?
Scott: No.
Slash: Check. Do you have mental problems; you hate the media and talk a lot of shit about people.
Scott: Yes.
Slash: OK guys, I think we found the perfect guy!
Duff: Exactly like Axl but sounds completely different!
Slash: Hey guys... I wanted to show you this new solo I wrote, check this out...
*Slash plays some notes for 5 seconds*
Duff: That's the whole thing?
Slash: Yeah.... It's cool isn't it?
Duff: Dude, seriously... I'm out for lunch... I'm taking Dan with me.
Dave: It's Dave.
Duff: Uhhh... Yeah...
*Duff and Dave leave and arrive to a Burger King, on their way in they meet Steven*
Steven: Hey Duff!!! What's up man??? Didn't see you for ages, man!
Duff: Dick, give the poor bum some change...
Dave: It's Dave....
Steven: What the fuck man?
*Duff and Dave stand in line for a couple of minutes and then it's their turn to order*
Duff: Yeah we would like two Whoppers... What the fuck? Axl?
Axl: *Embarrassed* Ehmmmm No! It�s me James! The original drummer!
Duff: Who?
Axl: Ahhh what the hell... Yeah it's me.
Duff: What the fuck man... Where the hell is all your money gone?
Axl: You know... the regular stuff... Basketball and football PPVs. Huge cars... Plastic surgery....
Duff: OK, where the fuck's my whopper?
*Axl walks to the kitchen door, opens it, we see Buckethead, Tommy, Robin, Brain and Richard rehearsing*
Axl: Guys... We'll rehearse that song later... I need two whoppers and two large cokes.
*Dizzy walks in*
Dizzy: OK Mr Rose, your toilet is sparkling now... cleaned with a toothbrush... Just like you asked.
Axl: Ha... Some things never change no matter how pathetic I'm getting. Who's that?
Duff: That's Don.
Dave: Dave.
Duff: He plays... Uhmmm... Who cares, gimme my whopper!
*Duff and Dave eat their meals and head back to the studio*
Duff: OK... I got it! Dave... Dave... I'll remember...
*Duff and Dave walk in. Matt is punching away at Scott Weiland*
Duff: Dude what the fuck is happening.
Slash: We tried to write some songs and Matt got a little upset...
Scott: I fall to pieces... I fall to pieces... Every time I.... I fall to pieces.... I fall to pieces, I fall to pieces... Every time... I fall to pieces....
*Slash's mobile rings, he answers*
Duff: We finally got the final ingredient for success right!!! Fights inside the band!
Slash: *On the mobile* Sure! I would love to appear on the Golden Girls!