By Ash and Amanda
Rated NC 17 for language, m/m slash
We do not mean to offend anyone by our work. This is purely fiction and nothing is implied. NO infringement was intended.
Bas stood outside his hotel room door taking deep steadying breaths. He didn't want to face Rachel again. The confused feelings he'd been mulling over were in even more disarray after his night with Duff. Ah, Duff. Bas's lips twitched into a sexy smile just remembering the previous night and his unexpected lover. Yesterday evening he'd wanted nothing more than to smooth things over with Rachel. Now he wasn't so sure he wanted that anymore.
Rachel would always be his best friend, but things had changed too much for the two men over the course of their whirlwind career. Fame had a way of changing people and neither of them had escaped its clutches.
He took a deep steadying breath before pushing the door to his and Rachel's room open. Stepping inside, his eyes scanned nervously for his ex. He swallowed hard.
"Anybody here?" He called out stepping out of the way of the door. He peered through the open bathroom door, seeing no one. The door clicked shut behind him, nearly giving him a heart attack. He felt so uncomfortable here, so out of place. Rachel�s belongings were scattered about the room, and for the first time in a long time Bas didn't smile at his band mates terrible organization skills. He pulled the jacket tight around him, inhaling Duff's ever present scent. He sat on the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands. He was so confused. He knew he had feelings for Duff, but he didn�t want to. He wanted to love Duff, but he wasn't sure he could.
Just next door...
Steven watched the angered guitarist as he strode out of his room, just as quickly as he'd entered. The blonde sighed and leaned back against the headboard with a wicked grin spread across his lips.
"Shit that was close." The drummer reached beneath the covers, shoving them off of his partner.
"Yeah, really." His lover replied scooting up to kiss Steven's lips.
"That turn you on?" He asked, tangling his fingers in a mass of dark locks. His lover nodded and moved to kiss a trail down his neck to his chest.
"You slut, the thrill of getting caught turns you on?" Steven grinned and watched the top of his lover�s head as a warm tongue ran across his stomach.
"Hell yeah, fucking turns me on."
"C'mere Rachel." Steven ordered his lover up with the motion of one finger, tangling their tongues yet again. They'd had one hell of night, and the morning was going to be nothing short of one hell of a morning.
Rachel grabbed the sides of Steven's face and attacked his mouth with teeth and lips, alternating between sucking and biting. He made his way down Steven's jaw, stopping to suck strongly on a patch of skin, leaving a mark, before coming to his chest. The skin there got the same treatment and Steven was soon covered in small red marks from Rachel's teeth. He moved one hand down to the evidence of Steven's arousal and grinned against his fiery skin. "I guess we have time for a quickie, huh?"
Steven squinted at the clock on the bedside table. "Yeah, it's still early."
Rachel glanced up but shot to his feet quickly. "Shit! I've got to get back to my room."
"What?!? Now? What about..."
"I wanna get back there before Bas wakes up! I'm already going to have enough excuses to make about why I wasn't there last night when he got back. I can always say that I slipped in while he was asleep. But I've got to get there before he gets up."
Steven grinned and watched the lean guitarist fumble at his jeans to pull them up over his underwear. Rachel grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head, worsening the condition of his already tussled hair. Steven rolled out of bed pulling his own jeans on, deciding to exclude underwear from his wardrobe for the day. Rachel grabbed the chain he normally wore on his nose and ear from the nightstand and shoved it into his pocket.
"Shit shit shit." He mumbled as he tried to gather his belongings.
"C'mere." Steven smiled watching the dark haired man.
"What?"
"Just... c'mere."
Rachel crossed the short distance between himself and Steven. The blonde reached up and ran his fingers through the guitarist�s long dark mane, smoothing out any tangles and getting it back to a semi-kept state.
"He'd never believe you with your hair like that."
"You're cute Adler, I like you." Rachel smiled tipping the drummers chin up so that he could look into his eyes.
"Apparently." Steven grinned as Rachel pressed his lips against his.
"So I'll see ya around the states?" The guitarist grabbed his jacket and headed toward the window leading out to the fire escape stairs.
"Definitely." Steven watched his man disappear down the stairs before looking around the room, definitely in a mess.
Rachel hauled ass to his hotel and took the stairs three at a time up to his floor. He shoved the door open and was surprised to find Bas sitting on the bed, smoking a cigarette and apparently lost in deep thought. Bas was startled out of his thoughts by Rachel's sudden entrance and stood up, the coat falling open to reveal his nude form. Rachel was surprised and immediately angry. "Where the fuck were you last night?"
Bas regarded him with cool, calm eyes and closed the jacket up again. "How would you know I wasn't here? You're apparently just getting in."
"I was out looking for you!"
"That's bullshit, Rachel. Why are you clothes all fucked up?"
"I was up all night worried about you. You just stormed out so fast, before we got a chance to talk about anything." Rachel took a few steps closer to his ex lover, watching those calm eyes watching him. "I think we should sit down and discuss a few things."
Bas shook his head, sending all that hair flying around his face. "There's nothing to talk about, Rach. We're done. You said so last night."
"Maybe I was a little hasty last night." He reached out to brush a stray lock of hair from Bas's face. "When I was thinking about you last night, I couldn't help but miss what we've built together. I love you, Sebastian Bach."
Bas was about to respond when there was a knock on the door.
"Who the hell could that be?" Rachel cursed, his eyes shooting from the blonde to the door. Bas didn�t respond, instead he watched his ex stride to the door, opening it just enough to see who was outside. Bas stood on his tiptoes in an attempt to see who was outside.
"What are you doing here?" Came Rachel�s voice followed by a muffled reply.
"One sec, baby." Rachel turned to Bas before ducking outside the door. Bas quietly cracked the door enough to see his ex lover and someone. He cracked it a bit more to reveal Steven Adler.
"What the--." He mouthed, listening intently to their conversation.
"You left your watch on my nightstand, babe." The blonde handed over the silver studded jewelry, Rachel slipping it over his wrist.
"Thank you, but be quiet, he's in there." Rachel whispered, wrapping his arms around the blonde, kissing his neck. Bas's face flushed red. His anger had reached a dangerous level, and couldn�t be suppressed any longer. He flung the door open and with an almost animalistic growl leapt onto Rachel, shoving him against the door across the hallway.
"Shit!" Steven shouted jumping out of dangers way.
"Fuck Bas! This isn�t what it looks like!!" Rachel exclaimed, unable to budge the larger man.
"You fucking bastard! You fucking lied to me and I almost believed you!" Bas drew back a fist and brought his knuckles crashing into Rachel�s jaw. He balled up his hand to hit him again but Rachel ducked out of the way and moved around behind him.
"Bas, calm down, okay? Just calm down for a second and let me explain."
"Explain what, Rachel? Explain why you guilted me about being gone last night while you were fucking Adler?" Bas looked around for the drummer, but he'd disappeared. "Is that what you're going to explain?"
Rachel grabbed his already swelling jaw and pointed accusingly at the jacket Bas was wearing. "And just who's is that? I seem to remember a certain Guns bassist who wears one just like it!"
"Fuck if that's any of your fucking business!" Bas slammed past the other man and started throwing his clothes into his suitcase, leaving out a pair of jeans and a shirt.
"Where the fuck are you going?" Rachel took in the wild movements and knew Bas would do something drastic if pushed too far.
"We have to be in Atlanta tonight. We have a show to do, in case you didn't remember that."
"Tonight?" Bas paused his actions, just as Snake poked his head through the open door.
"What in God's name is going on in here?"
"Rachel just being a dick craving bastard again, that�s all. That and I'm out, I'm leaving." The blonde threw the rest of his belongings into the suitcase before zipping it up.
"Bas you can�t go!" Snake shouted his arms on the singer�s shoulders. The blonde glared past his band mate to Rachel who simply stared right back with a blank look.
"The hell I cant. I wont go anywhere with that lying fuck."
"Bas think about what you're doing! You can�t desert us! Skid Row needs you dude."
"I need you b--." Rachel started to interject.
"The hell you do! Looked like you needed Steven last night! The bastard had fucking bite marks all over him!" Bas lunged toward his ex but was held back by his other band mate, knowing full well Bas would strangle him.
"Look whatever is going on between you two, I don�t care but you best compromise. We're moving out tonight instead of tomorrow, and this shit can�t happen in Atlanta."
"Bas, I want you to know I love you and I'd do anything--."
"You sure did Steven didn�t ya?" Bas snatched his clothes from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom to change.
Rachel chose not to say anything or try to stop him. His mood was way too volatile for that. He'd just have to bide his time and wait for the opportunity to talk to him later.
"Duff? You in here?" Izzy called through the door after knocking softly. There was no answer. Being the curious one, he pushed the door open and ventured inside of Slash's room. He was careful not to step on any reptiles he might encounter. He'd checked all the other rooms and there was no sign of Duff.
His eyes followed the massive trail of empty Jack bottles and cigarette butts until he found the blonde sprawled out across the guitarist�s bed.
"Duff, dude what the hell--." Izzy kicked some of the garbage from his path.
"Izzy, come on in. Have a drink." Duff's words slurred as he offered the bottle to his friend.
"My God Duff, how many have you drank?" The brunette took the bottle and set it on the cluttered nightstand before inspecting some of the objects. The ashtray was overflowing and a stack of rolling papers sat beside a baggy of what Izzy assumed to be weed.
"Not a lot, just like 12 or 24 something like that." The blonde took a hit off of a joint he'd been caressing between his fingers, exhaling the smoke in his friends face.
"Damn, I haven�t seen you this smashed in a long time. Gimmie that." Izzy plucked the joint from between the bassist�s lips and looked it over. He took a quick hit before pinching the end off and laying it on the night stand with all the other objects.
"Maybe sometimes, you just gotta get so fucking hammered that you forget it hurts. Izzy, Izzy you know what I'm talking about don�t you?" Duff leaned forward to look into Izzy's worried eyes with his glazed blood shot ones.
"Fuck, I hope you haven�t overdosed on anything." Izzy grabbed Duff's arm, looking for punctures. He didn�t see any so he released him.
"Izzy answer me. You know about pain, and getting high, forgetting what hurts right?" He leaned back against the headboard, a grimace on his face.
"Yeah."
"It isn�t working, Izzy. Why can�t I forget? Make it go away." Duff closed his eyes, his hands trembling as they crept onto Izzy's.
"Make what go away? What hurts Duff?" The concern on Izzy's face was evident as he changed positions so that he was directly in front of Duff. He saw the blonde's throat contort as he swallowed. A thin layer of sweat had broken out on the tall blonde's skin.
"I can�t tell you." He mumbled, reaching for his bottle of jack. Izzy swatted his hand away.
"Then I can�t help you. You gotta tell me." The brunette moved up to sit beside of Duff, both their backs now against the headboard. Duff's eyes slowly moved from their place on the wall directly in front of him to his band mate beside of him. His trembling hand moved from his own leg to Izzy's, only to travel up to his thigh. Izzy's eyes shot up to meet Duff's avoiding ones.
"Mmm Izzy." Duff moaned leaning across Izzy's torso, burying his face in his shoulder, kissing his neck.
"Duff!!! What the--." Izzy struggled against the larger man.
"Make the pain go away." The blonde whispered, as his lips came crushing down on Izzy's unwilling ones.
The sloppy kiss and loose grip were easy to get out of and Izzy quickly pulled away. "Duff, I'm not going to make the pain go away by having sex with you. Talk to me, man. Tell me what's going on with you."
Duff flopped back bonelessly and Izzy thought he'd passed out. He reached forward to feel for a pulse and Duff's eyes snapped open. "He's gone, Izz." The bassist's voice was full of so much hurt. "He's just gone. Probably back to Rachel or something."
"He? Who's he? And who's Rachel? His girlfriend?"
Duff snorted and rolled over on his side, away from Izzy. He picked up the ground out joint from the nightstand and rolled his between his fingers before letting it drop to the floor.
"You don�t wanna know." He whispered, his fingers running through his hair. Izzy sighed and stretched out beside of him.
"Try me."
"I-- met somebody and I think I'm in love with them." Duff rolled over, facing his friend. Izzy's eyes urged him on. Duff's eyes dropped and his hands trembled as he continued to spill his guts, awaiting a load of criticism.
"And umm... he... we slept together last night." Duff paused, giving Izzy time to chime in.
"And?" He shrugged.
"And, it's Bas." Izzy eyed him for a moment, his arms folded across his chest.
"And you're afraid he left you and went back to Rachel? His bassist?"
Duff nodded miserably. "They were together and then they weren't and then Bas was with me. Last night. And it was great. But he's gone now. Another show, another city, another lover. You know how it goes."
Izzy tentatively reached out and brushed some of the limp blond hair off Duff's forehead. "You don't know that he's gonna find someone else, do ya? Or that he went back to Rachel? He could be thinking about you right now."
Duff snorted and rolled onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. "I doubt it."
"Duff, if he walked out on ya then he don�t deserve you." Izzy wiped a bead of sweat from Duff's forehead before it could roll down into his eye.
"I think I fell in love with him Izzy, and now he's gone. He's fucking gone and I need another fucking joint." Duff sat and fumbled with the joint he'd dropped on the floor.
"Duff, gimmie that!" Izzy snatched it away, wadding it up in the palm of his hand and throwing it across the room. "Just lay down and try to sleep, try to forget him." Izzy pulled Duff down by his shoulders and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Just sleep Duff, just sleep." Izzy threw the blanket over Duff before turning to crawl off the bed. A firm grip on his wrist held him in place.
"Stay with me please."
"Sure, Duff. I'll stay with you." Izzy lie down and felt Duff's head on his shoulder and his arm go over his chest.
"Thanks, Izzy. You're a good friend, man." Duff let his eyes drift closed and the alcohol and drugs take their toll on his emotionally battered mind and body.
"What do you think about this part here?" Axl asked, his pen tapping the paper.
"Mmm looks good to me." Slash whispered, his lips attached to the redheads neck.
"Slash! We're supposed to be working." Axl pulled back, but Slash's hand advanced to Axl's knee then up to his thigh.
"I am working." The grinning guitarist replied.
"Working on marking up my neck." Axl tried not to smile, tried to keep up the angry facade.
Slash only nodded and reattached his lips to his lover�s neck, his hand drifting inward on Axl's leg. He found the bulge starting to form and massaged it through the tight denim of Axl's jeans. Axl let out a breathy moan and finally gave in, tipping his head to the side to give Slash better access. "Maybe we can take a short break."
"Thought you might change your mind." Slash abandoned his neck to shove his tongue in the redhead's mouth. Axl responded by sucking on the muscle strongly, drawing a moan from the guitarist. Axl's hands wandered over Slash's bare tanned chest, stopping to pinch roughly at the nipples. He shoved the taller man backwards on the couch and leaned forward to bite at the distended flesh until Slash groaned and ground his hips upwards.
"Hey, guys, hard at work huh?" Steven walked in and sat down in a chair across from the couch, head back against the seat and liquor bottle dangling from his fingers.
Axl froze, tongue still on Slash's nipple and stared at his band mate. The drunk man seemed oblivious to what his friends were doing.
"Umm... Hi Steven." Slash waved from beneath Axl's retreating body.
"Workin on the song?" Came a slurred group of words from Steven.
"Yeah, working on the song. That's what we're doing... he... umm... Slash tell him what we were doing." Axl scooted back over to the coffee table and picked up the paper.
"Umm... I had... umm... my nipple was itching... umm... and he uhh... scratched it." Axl shot dagger's at Slash who sat scratching his head, praying the drunkard accepted the answer.
"Hate it when that happens." The drummer replied bringing the bottle to his lips and downing its remains.
"Yeah, me too." Axl's hand covered the smile spreading across his lips.
"Yeah," Slash cleared his throat, " soooo... where's Duff and umm... shit..." Slash rubbed his temples, his mind a jumbled up mess. Axl elbowed his lover�s ribs.
"Izzy you dumbass!" He exclaimed.
"Yeah, where's Duff and Izzy?" Slash shot Axl a menacing look and rubbed his injured ribs.
Duff woke up with a start from a light doze. He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until he woke up. The bus moving gently under him must've lulled him to slumber and for the moment he could pretend that the warm body next to him was Bas, conjured to his side by force of will alone. But he opened his eyes and found brown hair a couple of shades too dark and a much smaller frame by his side.
Izzy had stayed with him every night since that first time when he'd found Duff practically trying to kill himself on Jack and weed. Duff appreciated the company and not having to face the nights alone. It was comforting knowing there was someone to reach out to in the darkness. But he kept thinking it had to be weird for Izzy who'd never shown any interest in guys.
Beside him, Izzy stirred and looked up with sleep clouded eyes. "Hey you."
"Hey," Duff replied and stretched his arms over his head as much as the small bunk would allow. "You know, you don't have to stay in here with me since it's so crowded."
"Am I crowding you? I thought you kinda liked me being in here with you. But I'll stop if you want."
"No!" Duff said a little too loudly and lowered his voice. "No. It's not that. I was just thinking that it might be weird for you to be sleeping in the same bed with a guy every night."
"Duff, um, it's really not a problem for me." Izzy smiled softly and traced the line of Duff's cheekbone.
"Izz?"
"Hmm," the guitarist looked up into Duff's confused eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me you were into guys too?"
Izzy shrugged and dropped his hand. "It didn't seem important at the time and you were so miserable that I just wanted to make you feel better. I hope I've helped a little bit."
"You have. You've been so sweet to me. I really appreciate it." Duff wrapped on arm around the smaller man and pulled him even closer in the tiny space.
"You know," Izzy started to fidget a little. "If this thing with Bas doesn't work out, and you get tired of waiting around to hear something from him...I'll...uh...be here."
Duff smiled down at his friend, his fingers stroking the long brown locks, some of them falling into the guitarists puppy eyes.
"Thanks Izz, but you know I--."
"I know," he sighed burying his face in the bassists shoulder, taking in the sweet scent of his hair, "and I wish I could say I hope that this works out with you and Bas, but I cant." Izzy's arm draped over Duff's chest to idly play with a lock of blonde on the other side of his head. "I just want to see you happy. I love to see you smile."
"Izzy, God I wish I'd have known." Duff wrapped his arms around the smaller man and held him tight. He never knew Izzy was so into him. He only wish he'd have known before Bas walked into his life. Izzy was probably the best friend he had, and now his best friend had a crush on him. Duff could easily say Izzy was a beautiful man with a wonderful voice, and an amazing mind. Too bad Bas's mind had already taken over his every thought.
"I mean it Duff, I'll be here no matter what, okay?"
"Thanks." Duff ran his fingers through his friend�s hair, his leg around Izzy's hips. Before Izzy could process his next thought, Duff's lips were pressed gently against his. The kiss was short and sweet. Izzy's eyes told Duff he was terrified. Duff leaned in for another gentle kiss, this time his tongue found its way into Izzy's inviting mouth. The brunette wrapped his arms around Duff's neck, his spine beginning to tingle. His breath came to him in short gasps. He almost lost control.
"Duff, you don�t have to do this." He whispered, pulling back, but not far. His head was against the wall of the bunk and his nose still touched Duff's.
"I want to," Duff was panting a little himself. "I want to make you happy too, Izz." His hand drifted down the brunette's chest to the waistband of the boxers he was sleeping in. He traced one finger just inside the elastic, reveling in the gasp he earned for his efforts. He slid his hand inside and grasped the erection he found there, pumping slowly.
"Jesus Duff, you just don't have a fucking clue what you do to me, do you?" Izzy tried to throw his head back but succeeded only in smacking into the wall.
"No, tell me, Izz. Tell me what I do to you. I need to hear you." Duff was a man on a mission. He wanted to forget about Bas and the hurt he couldn't escape if even for a few minutes with his friend.
Izzy's hips bucked forward into Duffs hand and he clawed at the blond�s chest not sure whether to pull him closer or push him away. He knew that this didn't mean the same for Duff as it did for him. This was just a way out and that wasn't what Izzy wanted. "Duff," he pushed on his chest a little, fighting for the strength to say no. "Duff, we can't do this. Not now."
Duff stopped his pumping but didn't remove his hand from Izzy's boxers. "Why? You don't like it, Izz?"
"Dear sweet Jesus it's not that. But I don't want you like this." Izzy slowly pulled on Duff's wrist until he let go and rested his fingers against his hip. "Your heart isn't in it. It belongs to someone else. I don't want you if I can't have all of you, Duff. You mean too much to me for that."
"I dunno what to say, I--." Duff searched Izzy's eyes, looking for an answer to all his troubles. His fumbled speech was halted by a finger against his lips.
"Don't say anything then. Just know this," Izzy laced his fingers with Duff's and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss, "know that I love you Duff. "The blonde watched as Izzy released his hand, but never moved his eyes.
"Thanks Izzy, I envy the man that steals your heart." Whispered Duff, his forehead falling against Izzy's.
"I think you've already done that." They shared smiles before Duff wrapped his arms around the guitarist and stroked his hair until they were both asleep once again. Izzy dreaming about Duff, and Duff about Bas.
Somewhere on the road between New York and Atlanta...
"That's bullshit and you know it!" Came a shout from the end of the bus.
"No dammit Bas you won�t let me explain!" Rachel retorted, his voice carrying to the kitchen/dining area where Snake, Rob and Scotti sat at the small booth like table.
"They've been having this same fucking argument since we left New York!" Snake buried his face in his hands, his words coming out muffled.
"Try having to sleep between them!" Rob snapped, crossing his arms over his bare chest.
"Could somebody please explain to me what the fuck they're fighting about?!?!" Scotti chimed in, earning a look from his band mates.
Just on the other end of the bus the two men were deep in the heart of a heated argument.
"Baby, I don�t know why I fucked him, I needed you and he was there." Rachel plopped down on the sofa and played off a sincere expression.
"So you lied to me and said you were out looking for me all night!!! You made me feel like a total dick before you ripped out my fucking heart!" The blonde wanted to pull his hair out by the roots. He'd never been so frustrated and alone in his entire life.
"I don't know why I said that, Bas. I was hurt and I wanted to hurt you too. Its sick and fucked up and I'm sorry! How many more times do I have to tell you how sorry I am?� Rachel felt like ripping his own hair out. He wasn't sure if he wanted Bas anymore but the thought of him with Duff made him sick to his stomach. He didn't want Bas to move on that quickly.
"Well, I guess you just gonna have to say it more, cause I don't fucking believe you. I can't believe anything you say anymore, Rachel." Bas leaned against the side of the bus across from his ex lover. "And I don't know if I want to at all. I think you were right before, Rach. I think we're through. We have been for a while."
"Don't say that, Bas." Rachel got up and moved closer to the taller man. "No one knows you like I do. No one wants you as much as I do." He ran his fingers through the messy blond hair, gratified when Bas didn't flinch back from the touch. "And they never will. I'm the only one who will still want you when you're not pretty anymore. After your voice and looks are gone, I'll still be here. Can you say that for a one night stand? You think that drunk fucker can say that to you and mean it? You can't mean as much to him as you do to me."
Bas raised his eyes and Rachel saw something in them that scared him a little. "He might not feel that way about me, but I can't say I don't. And I can't stand the thought of you touching me anymore. Take your hands off me before I break em, Rachel."
The bassist retreated several steps to get away from the heat in his voice. His anger was rising, and his frustration was evident. No one, absolutely no one says no to Rachel Bolan.
"Bas, you're starting to piss me off." The darker man kept his eyes glued to Bas's dark angry ones.
"I don�t give a fuck. You've already pissed me off you bastard!" Bas stepped forward and shoved the guitarist on the sofa, glaring down at him.
"You stupid fuck!" He yelled, leaping off the couch and taking Bas against the wall, pinning his hands behind his head. Their breath radiated against one another as Bas struggled for freedom.
"You listen to me dammit. I was going to forgive you for this bullshit, but you're not cooperating with me. Now don�t make me get rough with you." His voice was as calm as he could manage, until Bas's hot temper flared. The blonde spit directly into the smaller man�s eye, adding the final douse of fuel to the fire.
"Dammit bitch I told you!" Rachel released Bas's hands long enough to grab something from his back pocket, his hands wrapping around the singers throat. Bas started to simply shove Rachel away but a searing pain in his neck stopped his movements. He glanced downward to see the blade of a switch pressed against his jugular.
"Rachel, you've gone too damn far this time." Bas whispered through clenched teeth.
"If I can�t have you then I'll be damned if anybody else does." He added pressure to the weapon for emphasis. Bas closed his eyes, knowing blood was trickling down his neck by now. "So tell me Bas, did he make you his little bitch, like I make you mine? Did he?" The darker man practically growled before roughly pressing his lips against the taller man�s, biting his bottom lip until he tasted blood. He'd become distracted and his grip on the knife loosened giving Bas the opportunity to snatch the weapon and turn the tables, pinning his adversary in his previous position.
"Who's the bitch now?!?" Bas grinned, slashing a gash down the man�s cheek before tossing the knife behind him and striding calmly out of the room, the blood on his neck now running down his shirt.
"Stop this damn bus! I want off!!" Bas shouted coming into view of his friends in the dining area.
"Jesus Bas! What happened?" Snake jumped to his feet but backed away when Rachel entered the room, bleeding too. The bus came to a screeching halt and the singer flung the door open.
"Bas where are you going?" Rob shouted quickly reaching the door followed closely by Scotti.
"Let him go! Let the fucker go. And any fucking one of you that wants to go with him get the fuck off now!" Snake shook his head and sat back down, his fingers running through his raven hair. Scotti watched in awe as Rob looked between his best friend and his band mates. He quickly hurried off the bus and down the highway after the blonde.
"Let em go! We don�t fucking need em!"
Rob jogged to catch up with Bas, finally reaching him as the bus passed them by.
"What the hell was all that?"
Bas shot both middle fingers in the air as the bus drove by and ignored the question to keep walking. He had no idea where the hell he was gonna go or what he was gonna do. His mind was a complete jumble of raw anger and emotion. Somehow he had to find Duff. He had to find him and make everything okay again.
"Hey! Bas! I'm fucking talking to ya. What's going on? Why did we just get off the bus in the middle of nowhere?"
"I don't know why you did, man, but I had to get the fuck outta there. Rachel's a sick fuck and I'm tired of playing his games. I've gotta find Duff."
Rob grabbed his arm and spun the singer around. "Duff? From Guns N Roses? What the fuck's he got to do with anything?"
Bas threw his arms out to the sides and his head back. "I love him!" he shouted to the sky. Rob flinched at the screeching volume of his friend and smiled.
"That's great man, really I'm happy for ya. So, um, what the hell are we gonna do now?"
"Go find him, of course! Don't you see?" Bas grabbed Rob's upper arms and shook him, a slightly crazed look in his eyes. "It's all so fucking simple and I couldn't see it. I've just gotta get to Duff." He let out a loud giggle and started down the road again.
Rob shook his head, sure that Bas had lost his fucking mind and jogged to catch up again.
Hours had passed before the pair saw lights from a nearby city. Rob's feet were dragging and every other word from his mouth was a curse.
"Bas, can we please just sit for a minute. It's been 2 hours!" The blonde whined. Bas never turned.
"Sit if you want, but I'll be damned if I do." Bas continued his quick paced stride to the city. The sun was starting to rise over the horizon, warming the earth with its light. Rob groaned but kept up his pace with the singer. Bas's shirt was covered with dried blood and the wound on his neck looked much worse than it really was.
The first step they took onto the sidewalk down the middle of town was now both their dreams come true. Rob was exhausted and Bas was that much closer to finding his love.
"You got any cash on you Rob?" The lean singer asked patting his pockets for money, knowing full well he'd left what little he kept on him on the bus.
"No, shit I don�t have anything on me, why?" Rob found a bench and plopped down on it, watching Bas's face contort in thought.
"I was going to say we could rent a car, and hound people for the Guns tour schedule." He kicked a rock around with the toe of his boot, wracking his brain for alternatives. He looked down the alley in front of him, noting a red mustang sitting, alone and unmonitored. A grin spread across his lips as Rob followed his gaze.
"Know anything about hotwiring a car?"
Duff was fucking tired. He was mentally and physically exhausted. What he wanted more than anything was a hot shower and a drink before he went to bed. Stripping as soon as he got inside his hotel room he headed for the bathroom. He let the hot water slide down his back and soothe the pain from his tense muscles before cleaning up. When his skin started to get all wrinkly he turned the water off and wrapped a towel around his lean hips.
Lighting a smoke on his way to the mini bar he poured a strong drink and downed it in one gulp. He was about to pour another when there was a loud knock on his door. It sounded as though the visitor would break the barrier down if he didn't answer quickly so he rushed over and yanked it open; half afraid Axl had gotten into more trouble. It wasn't a Guns member that stood beyond though. It was a very disheveled Bas. Duff nearly choked on his surprise when the tall singer rushed him and sealed their mouths together, long fingers tunneling through the wet blond hair.
Duff tasted blood in the kiss and pulled back to see Bas's bottom lip cut open with what looked like teeth marks. Flecks of dried blood dotted his neck as well. "What the hell? What happened to you?"
Bas kicked the door shut and kissed him again without answering. He swept his tongue possessively around the stunned bassists mouth before pulling back to look into his startled eyes. "I had a revelation." He planted small fluttering kisses on Duff's cheeks and forehead. "I can't live without you. And even if I could, I don't fucking want to."
"Bas... I... I dunno what to say." Duff stuttered, a smile on his lips.
"Just listen then," Bas's hands were on both sides of Duff's head, his fingers clenching wet blonde hair, "You are the most amazing specimen of a man I've ever met. You're kind, you�re the best lover I've ever had, and you're beautiful. I just want you to know I love you and I'm never leaving your side again, ever." The blonde spoke quickly, as if his last minutes on earth were closing in on him. His words were urgent, and sincere to the fullest degree.
"You're truly breathtaking when you're like this." Duff whispered his finger lightly tracing the singer�s dominant jawbone.
"Like what?" Bas cocked his head and draped his arms around Duff's neck.
"This." Duff shrugged, his finger now poised on the singers punctured lip. Bas opened his mouth and took the digit into its recesses. His tongue welcomed its presence and lavished in the salty taste of Duff's skin.
"I love you too Bas." Duff whispered, his finger being released from Bas's warmth. Their eyes lingered for a moment before Duff went in for a gentle kiss. It felt much like the first kiss they'd ever shared, timid, meek, and soft. Bas's laced his fingers with Duff's and closed the gap between their bodies.
"Mmm Duff." The singer moaned, his head dipping lower and resting on his lovers shoulder. His lips kissed every inch of his neck, his tongue darting out to leave a trail of seduction behind it. His teeth sank into the soft flesh, just enough to mark the bassist, make him his own. "I love you so much." He'd whisper between each tender kiss. "I'm not going anywhere." He'd growl tugging on Duff's earlobe eliciting little moans and whimpers with each action. The singer looked up into Duff's glazed eyes with his own sleep deprived ones and almost lost himself. His lips came crashing into Duff's once again, this time having enough force to sink a thousand war ships. Duff moaned as he was backed up against the wall, Bas's body on his.
"Let me make love to you." Bas whispered.
"Yes, please." Duff's hands were starting to tear at Bas's clothes in his effort to feel skin to skin contact. He pulled the ragged, dirty shirt over his head and immediately went for the pants. Bas was feeling the same sense of urgency and fought to rid himself of the restricting jeans as well. When he was totally naked he fingered the knot of Duff's towel, teasing them both before slowly undoing it and letting the white terry cloth fall to the floor. His eyes were glued to all the lovely expanse of Duff's body and he couldn't help but sink to his knees before this beautiful man and worship him.
Duff tangled his fingers in Bas's long hair and let his head fall back against the wall as the hot mouth enveloped the most aching part of him. Lips and tongue and even light nips of the teeth sent him spiraling into a world of pure bliss with an undercurrent of deep love. With every swipe of his tongue over the swollen head and every teasing bite, Bas was making him his. Too soon, Duff felt the tightening in his balls that signaled his release. He reluctantly tugged on Bas's head, gasping when the singer finally looked up at him.
His already full lips were swollen and red, saliva making them glossy. Duff's legs refused to hold him up any longer and he sank down the wall to his knees in front of Bas, hands still tangled in his hair.
"You're so damn beautiful." Bas growled, his hair nearly being torn out by the roots. Duff smiled and practically tackled the singer, his mouth firmly pressed against his lovers. Duff laid him back on the floor, their noses touching, and a curtain of blonde cascading around them. Bas's hands moved down the expanse of Duff's back, moving lower to cup his ass in his hands.
"Mmm Bas." The blonde moaned, his tongue snaking down his lover�s neck to his chest where he took one nipple into his mouth, holding it between his teeth. He worked it to a hard bud before moving over and recreating the scene once over.
"I missed this." Bas's voice was raspy; his body broke out into a cold sweat.
"Me too." Duff whispered, his lips never leaving Bas's skin as they dragged down his stomach, following the trail of light hair until it led him to paradise. He ran his tongue up his lovers shaft, licking him base to head. Bas shivered and his hips bucked forward. Duff simply grinned before swallowing all that Bas had to offer, and it was no small gift. The singer dug his nails into Duff's shoulders, crying out with curses denoting his extreme euphoric state. This was Bas's payback for bringing him nearly to orgasm and then letting him fall back. He could tell his lover was close, his body tensed and his breathing quickened. Duff released him, and the moment he did he was rolled over and pinned beneath a pair of strong hips.
"I told you, last time if you were going to act like a child, I was going to have to discipline you, remember that?" Bas asked, his hands roaming over Duff's chest. He grinned and nodded, his cock straining against Bas's ass.
"Well I'm afraid I am going to have to spank you Mr. Mckagen."
"What?" Duff's breath whooshed out of him when he was flipped onto his stomach with Bas straddling his upper thighs. Duff stared to push up on his elbows but fell back down when he felt a sharp slap to his rear end. "What the hell are you doing?"
Bas grinned and ran his fingers lightly over the reddening skin. "You thought I was walking out on you for good last time. I have to punish you for that." He leaned forward until his mouth was touching the delicate shell of his lover's ear. "I may leave, but I'll never stay gone from you, Duff. You're like no addiction I've ever had before. I can't get you out of my system and never wanna even try."
Duff swallowed heavily against the lump starting to form in his throat. He wanted to kiss Bas. He wanted to hold him close and take them both to heaven. But Bas had different ideas for the present time. He'd sank back down to his previous position and was tenderly rubbing the small of Duff's back, just above his ass. "You've got a gorgeous body, baby. It'd look even sexier if I marked you as mine, wouldn't it?"
Duff wasn't given time to respond as he felt another stinging blow to his backside. The pain was bearable and a definite turn on. He squirmed as his cock ground heavily into the carpet below him. Bas misunderstood his fidgeting and leaned his head down to softly kiss the pink flesh. "Too much already?"
The bassist shook his head violently, not wanting the delicious torture to end just yet. "No, don't stop!"
Bas grinned and gave him several more whacks before moving off of him and turning him over. He expected his lover to be a bit dazed, but Duff was nothing of the sort. He launched himself at Bas and they rolled until Duff was on top, straddling the middle of his back. "You like being in control of things, don't you Mr. Bach?" He balled Bas's hair up in one hand and jerked it to the side, exposing the back of his neck. The skin looked positively delectable there so Duff leaned forward and licked from between his shoulder blades to the base of his skull, ending with a firm bite.
"Fuuck!" He'd barely been touched but Bas was ready to explode.
"Like that?" Duff whispered hotly, his lips never leaving his lovers sensitive flesh.
"I fucking love that!"
"Good," Duff tangled his fingers in the mass of blonde once again and jerked his lover�s head back, "now kiss me." He demanded. Bas moaned into the hot sloppy kiss, the whole time Duff's fingers yanking at the singer�s hair.
"I love your hair." Came a raspy voice as he buried his nose in it taking in a mixture of sweat and coconut shampoo. His tongue snaked out to touch the hot skin behind his ear; Bas shivering beneath Duff's now sweat slicked body.
"You fucking drive me crazy!" Bas hissed, rolling Duff off of him and pinning him once again against the carpet. "But damn I love every fucking second of insanity." Were the last words he uttered before his tongue forced it's way into Duff's mouth, not giving the bassist time to allow him entry. His hand moved between their damp bodies to Duff's erection, taking the organ in his hand and stroking to the rhythm his tongue created. Duff was growing anxious, his body close to losing control. His whining and whimpering increased and his lust filled heart yearned for that familiar burning inside of him.
"Baby, baby please. Fuck me now." His words were cracked and his breathing abnormal. Much to the bassist�s surprise, Bas gave him no answer. He scooped him up in his arms and carried him to the bed, laying him down gently. His head never made contact with the bed; Bas's hand wouldn�t allow it.
Duff was amazed at how fast Bas went from dirty slut to sweet lover as his head was cradled lovingly in the singer's large hands. The sight of him stretched out, weight pressing Duff into the mattress was breathtaking. Bas finally set his lovers head down gently on the pillow and trailed his fingers down his neck and torso, stopping to kiss a few spots here and there. "We need some lube, baby."
The words took a minute to register in Duff's jumbled mind. "What? Oh, shit. I don't have any."
Bas smiled against the soft skin of his belly. "We'll improvise." He retreated off the bed to find the complimentary hotel lotion. "This'll work." He got back on the bed but instead of crawling on top of Duff again he lie beside him and turned the bassist over facing away from Bas. Duff was confused but went along with it, trusting his lover. Bas moved Duff's leg so that his knee was bent, foot planted on the bed, opening him up for probing fingers. The first slicked digit slid into Duff with only a little resistance and a low groan. "Like that, baby?"
"God yes! More Bas, please!" Duff's eyes were squinted shut, mouth hanging open in bliss and anticipation for what was to come.
"Open your eyes, Duff. Watch yourself." Bas slipped another finger in and brushed the sweet spot that made Duff almost wail.
There was a mirror on the closed bathroom door, just across the room from them. Duff opened his eyes and gasped at the images he saw. Him, legs spread, rock hard cock against his belly, and Bas, face drawn with lust, hand moving behind Duff as he readied him.
He felt his body tense just seeing his lover preparing himself for what was to come. Soon one finger was joined by another, then another, his body wrenching around the foreign digits. Bas was surprised at how tight Duff had become in only a few days. The bassist took another glance in the mirror when he felt movement. Those digits moved in and out of him, stretching him further.
"Shhhit." He cursed under his breath, the pace quickening. A sharp cry escaped his lips when Bas's long fingers brushed past his prostate. The singer grinned and kissed his lovers neck reassuringly.
"You ready?" He whispered, pulling his fingers out. Duff whimpered, the sudden emptiness very unpleasant.
"I'm ready. "Mumbled the bassist, his hair clinging to his sweat glazed shoulders and chest.
"Open your eyes." Bas whispered spreading the lotion on his weeping cock. Duff watched the beautiful sight in the mirror; mouth draped open, eyes glazed. The sight was completely erotic. He watched those large hands gliding over Bas's erection, watched the euphoric expression playing across the singers face. Duff could almost feel the cool liquid against his hot flesh, and it wasn�t long until he did. Bas pressed the head against Duff's tightness and added just enough pressure to send Duff into a whimpering fit.
"If I hurt you just say so and I'll stop." He whispered, Duff nodding quickly. The pain came rushing back to him, but he knew behind it was a mountain of pleasure. Bas pushed until his head passed the tight ring. No matter the pain Duff was in, he continued watching them in the mirror. It was like watching a porno, the most amazing porno ever made! His nails dug into the sheets, almost shredding them as Bas continued invading his body.
"You okay?" Bas asked once he was completely buried inside of his love.
"Yeah." Came Duff's muffled reply, the white hot pain tearing through his body. Bas knew better and kept still, waiting for the pain to subside and the passion to kick in.
Eventually the burning subsided into an ache that Duff thought he could handle. He shifted his hips just a little, letting out a gasp at the friction it caused inside him. Bas's fingers clenched on his hip and he buried his face in the sweaty blond hair. He fought the urge to slam into Duff's tight body and kept himself under control while his lover wiggled his hips.
Duff was gasping as he stared into the mirror, watching his lower body undulate and feeling the head of Bas's cock just barely bump his prostate. He was mesmerized by the fingers gripping his hip in an almost painful gesture. Bas was about to loose it and Duff wanted to get lost with him. "Bas?" his voice was a breathy moan that turned the singer's stomach upside down.
He didn't pick up his head to answer, afraid that one look of the sexy guitarist would do him in. "What baby?"
"I want you to fuck me now."
Those fingers squeezed even harder and Bas's breath left him in a rush. He drew his hips back slowly until just the head of his cock was still sheathed and paused. He wanted to make sure he didn't go too fast for Duff. The bassist, however, had other ideas. Not waiting for Bas to finish the thrust, Duff slammed his hips back, ass connecting with flesh as Bas was fully planted once again. He reached one arm over his head and fisted his hand in his lover's hair. "C'mon, Bas. I know you wanna fuck the hell outta me. Do it, baby."
"Jesus, you're gonna kill me." But Bas was already thrusting heavily into his lover.
"Fuck me dammit, fuck me!" Duff continued to shout with each thrust, driving the blonde harder and deeper into the land of no return. Duff's grip on Bas's hair tightened. Bas's teeth sank into the bassist shoulder in an attempt to stifle an erotic wail.
"That's it, fuck me." Growled the guitarist, his fingers lacing with those of Bas's resting on his hip. Fueled by love, lust, and his own raging hormones, Bas's hips thrust forward harder, this time his cock slamming into Duff's sensitive spot.
"HOLY--." He shouted, not having time to finish his curse when another slam into his prostate sent him mumbling anything he could think of.
"Shit, Duff..." Bas swallowed hard, his orgasm nearing him quick. He reached around and took Duff's swollen member into his hand, stroking to the intense rhythm set by their hips. "Come for me baby." He growled in Duff's ear, his cock slamming one final time into Duff's body before the walls began to tighten. Duff's fingers clawed at anything they could claw at as his orgasm tore through his exhausted body. He cursed, and praised Bas as his seed spilled onto Bas's hand, his own stomach, and onto the bed.
"Mmmm baby." Came a tantalizing voice from behind him. The tightening around his desperate member was the push he needed over the edge. Just like their first night together he emptied himself into his man, pumping until he was spent. Their bodies were nearly stuck together by all the fluids exchanged that night, saliva, lotion, sweat, and sex. It was a truly erotic mixture. Bas pulled out and inspected his sticky hand.
"I'm sorry baby." Duff whispered, his voice barely audible.
"Not a problem." Bas brought his fingers to his lips and licked every last drop from them. Duff smiled and watched the lean singer hover over him to clean his stomach with his tongue, not wasting anything.
When Duff was clean to Bas's satisfaction the singer crawled up his body and laid down next to him, stroking one hand through the damp shaggy hair. He nuzzled his nose against his lover's ear and whispered, "I love you," one more time.
"I love you too, Bas." Duff curled against Bas and wound a hand through the long silky blond hair; comforted by the nearness and knowing he was there to stay. That empty pit in his stomach was gone, and for the first time in his life he knew how love felt.
"Baby?" Came Duff's low voice.
"Hmm?"
"How'd you find me?"
Bas grinned and kissed Duff's shoulder, "It's a long story." He looked up to see Duff's eyes urging him on. "Rachel pulled a knife on me--."
"That bastard, I'll kill him." Duff growled, his fingers playing through long blonde hair.
"Don�t worry about him. I took care of it," Duff nodded and Bas continued, "Me and Rob got off the bus in Tennessee, and walked to the nearest town." Bas laughed softly remembering Rob's constant whining. "Then we umm... hijacked a car--"
"You stole a car?!?" Duff exclaimed sending Bas into a fit of laughter.
"Anything for you, anything." Their eyes lingered, staying connected through soul for a few sweet moments before a crash followed by cursing sounded out in the next room over.
"Dammit Steven I just want my damn keys!!!! My car is in New York and I need my fucking keys!!!"
The musicians shared a look of amusement before settling in. Bas once again buried his face into a mass of blonde while Duff wrapped his arms around his man.
"Get some sleep. I guess you'll be leaving early." Duff was trying to deal with the fact that this paradise couldn�t last forever. It hurt dreadfully. It nearly brought tears to his eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered just before falling asleep. Duff sighed, praying it was true. His heart was in his throat, but his mind was on his lover.
"Love you." He whispered, kissing the top of Bas's head.
"Love you too." His words slurred together as sleep took him away.
Just outside the door, Izzy stood with his head against the wall, his eyes bloodshot and his mind racing. He'd heard everything, every heart wrenching confession of love between Bas and his life long crush Duff. If he'd had a gun he'd have blown his head off.
"Son of a bitch." He cursed, punching the wall opposite Duff's room before heading toward the fire escape stair well. If he couldn�t take his own life, and he couldn�t have the man he wanted, he'd have to settle with every cigarette he could get his hands on. The chilly air hit him immediately, but he didn�t care. He could only hope for hypothermia. He took a smoke from the pack and cradled his lighter in the wind, lighting the cigarette. He was on the top floor, and looking over the edge it seemed so far down. He contemplated jumping, but didn�t want his friends remembering him flattened. He sat on the step, his jeans not protecting him from the freezing metal stairs.
"Hey man, Izzy, right?"
Izzy looked up at the sudden intrusion on his misery. He recognized the blond standing a few feet from him as Rob, Skid Row's drummer. "Yeah."
"You seen Bas?"
Izzy snorted and took another deep drag from his cigarette. "He's with Duff." He tried to keep his voice steady as he answered, but Rob caught a hitch in the words.
"You okay, dude?" He sat down next to the guitarist and lit a cigarette of his own.
"Life's just fucking dandy." Izzy laid his head against the railing and closed his eyes, wishing he were alone to wallow. "Couldn't be better. Duff's happy so that should make me happy, right? Right. So yes, life's never been fucking better."
Rob's eyes lit with understanding. "Yeah, it should. But it never does. Love's a fucking bitch, isn't it?"
Izzy nodded wordlessly, afraid that if he said anything he would start blubbering all over this man he barely knew. He felt like his heart was being shredded inside his chest whenever he thought about Duff, his Duff, in Bas's arms.
Izzy nodded wordlessly, afraid that if he said anything he would start blubbering all over this man he barely knew. He felt like his heart was being shredded inside his chest whenever he thought about Duff, his Duff, in Bas's arms. He recalled those precious nights when he laid in bed with Duff, just holding him and telling him things would work out. Then he felt horrible for secretly hoping Bas wouldn�t come back for him. He knew right about now Bas had his arms wrapped around his man, Izzy's man, kissing his lips, taking Izzy's place. He didn�t realize he'd said everything he thought he was saying mentally aloud.
"Wow, dude, I dunno what to say." Rob's smoke dangled from between his fingers as he stared at the helpless man beside of him. He felt sorry for Izzy, he really did. He'd had his heart broken an innumerable amount of times.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I didn�t realize I said all that out loud." Izzy rested his face in his hands, hoping Rob would go away, hoping that Rob wouldn�t see his watery eyes. He's Izzy dammit! Guns n Roses rhythm guitarist! He's a fucking metal superstar! Metal men don�t cry!
"No it's fine, talk all you want." Rob's sincerity took Izzy off guard. He raised his eyes, only to make sure Rob really wasn�t Duff. He reminded him of Duff in almost every way. He looked nothing like him though; it was puzzling. Rob's voice, Rob's walk, his sincerity, his kindness to a total stranger, they even smoked the same brand of cigarettes.
"Thanks." Izzy cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his hand across his face in an attempt to look halfway decent. "I guess, I just--."
"Had all that frustration and energy bottled up inside, it had to go somewhere." The drummer chimed in, staring off into the black starless night. Izzy again snapped his eyes to the stranger, taken aback by his similarity to Duff. He watched the blonde carefully. He was pondering something in his own mind, something distant and complex. Something that hadn�t come out yet, something he was ashamed of was brewing in his heart again, something that hadn�t been there in a while. Izzy couldn�t put his finger on it, but he knew pain, and Rob was hiding a great deal of it.
"So, umm... what's your sad story?" He asked, taking the final drag off his smoke before flicking it over the rail and onto the desolate street below. He watched the man beside of him exhale a lung full of smoke, his icy eyes still transfixed on the unknown phenomenon known as night. After a moment of silence he shook his head and ground his finished smoke out on the step beside of him.
"I... guess, well it's been a while since I've been able to sit out like this.. I dunno man. You got you're own shit. You don�t need mine." Rob grabbed his cigarette pack only to find it empty. He cursed and threw it over the rail. Before he could even turn back around Izzy had his pack held out.
"Thanks." The blonde took one and lit up, taking a long drag. He could smoke a thousand packs and his nerves would still be a wreck. Izzy watched the cigarette begin to tremble between his fingers. His eyes went back to that crazy state, staring off into nothingness, yet there was something there.
"What happened to you?" The guitarist finally asked after trying to read Rob unsuccessfully. Rob smiled, trying to convince him everything was okay, but Izzy didn�t buy it.
"Umm, when I was 14, umm," His voice was shaky, his hands trembling, "my family wasn�t the best of families. My dad drank... a lot... and his friends did too. And, shit." He cracked, the memories too painful.
"You okay man?" Izzy turned and placed his hand on the drummer�s knee.
"Its just, one of them, they got drunk and went too fucking far... they touched me---." His voice was wavering; his nerve's blasting one by one. He was about to shut down, and have a total mental breakdown.
"Don�t talk about it if it hurts." Izzy watched him put the fire of the cigarette to the palm of his hand, about to grind it out there where several more burns existed. The brunette snatched it away and tossed it to the ground beneath them. Rob didn�t even look up.
"He touched me, and then the rest of em took me outside, and raped me. I was just a kid, and they scarred me--"
"Rob, I'm sorry--."
"No, I've gotta get this out, there's nowhere else for this to go and my mind is full. They did it one by one, and they tied me down so I wouldn�t run. And it was a night just like this one. It was cold, there was no light anywhere and I can remember laying there on the grass, looking up into the sky, and there was no stars for me to wish on." The drummer directed his eyes toward the empty sky. Izzy's stayed glued to the blondes. His whole body was shaking from the cold. Izzy's body was frozen too, but he was enthralled. The leather jacket Rob wore did little to fight off near freezing temperatures. Izzy reached over and tucked a few stray locks of blonde behind the man�s ear, seeing fear, and loneliness in his watery eyes.
"You're freezing. Lets go inside. I have a room just down the hall."
Rob nodded and stood up stiffly, the cold making his joints hurt. He wrapped the leather trench coat around him more fully and followed Izzy back into the building. The brunette let them in a room, warmth enveloping them both like a glove. "Want a drink?"
"A drink would be great." Rob ran his hands through his hair several times and tried to calm his racing heart. He'd never actually talked about what had happened to him all those years ago. It was hard to drag up the memories, but also freeing in a way. Maybe if he got it out they wouldn't control him like they did.
Izzy handed him a plastic hotel cup with a nameless clear liquor in it. Rob downed the drink in one gulp, tasting vodka. The Guns member was about to drink his own, but instead handed the cup to Rob, who drank it the same way as the first. Izzy took both glasses threw them in the trash, grabbing the bottle and sitting down on the bed. "Come sit with me, Rob."
"Yeah, sit and drink it all away huh? Hasn't worked yet but it's always worth another try." He took his seat next to Izzy and accepted the offered bottle. He stared down into the clear liquid, his mind far away. He hated vodka. Their breaths had smelled like it. Vodka and cold weather didn't mix very well inside him. His stomach lurched and Rob covered his mouth with his hand, afraid he was gonna be sick. He managed to stomp the feeling down but handed the bottle back to Izzy.
"You okay?" He asked, accepting the bottle and scooting back against the headboard. Rob's eyes remained transfixed on a central point in the room, his hand over his mouth.
"Yeah," He nodded taking his hand away and carefully scooting up beside of Izzy, "I'm just not a big fan of vodka."
Izzy smiled wryly and took a final blast of the liquid, replacing the lid and sitting it aside on the nightstand. He folded his arms across his chest and looked over to the now silent blonde.
"You think you and," He cleared his throat, "him with be staying all night?"
"Think?" Rob rolled his eyes, "I'm pretty sure. We're done with Skid Row."
"You're welcome to stay here if you want, not much room but hey it beats the hell outta staying halfway across town."
"Thanks." Rob nodded and for the first time his eyes caught Izzy's. They were deep and wondrous. They sucked him in at first glance and refused to let go. He was mesmerized.
"Rob?" Came Izzy's hushed voice.
"Hmm?" Rob watched as Izzy leaned in closer.
"What's going on?" Izzy watched Rob's head tilt and his eyes slip shut.
"I dunno." Those were the last words exchanged before their lips met for the first time. The kiss was soft and tender, full of need and hope. Izzy's tongue swept around Rob's lips before the drummer parted them, granting him entry. The blonde sighed into Izzy and let go of all control. Izzy wrapped his arms around him and pulled him on top of him.
Izzy's hands were everywhere at once. He wasn't sure what was happening but he didn't wanna argue with it. Part of him just wanted to make that wounded look go out of Rob's eyes if only for the night. He yanked at the jacket until it was off of his arms and threw it across the room, a metalic jingle sounding loud in the room as it hit the floor. "Hope there wasn't anything important in there."
Rob shrugged, his hands under Izzy's shirt. "Not my jacket. Found it on the bus the other day. There was a set of keys in it though that I don't recognize."
"Fuck it," was Izzy's response to the mystery. Soon they were both shirtless and gave of simultaneous sighs at the feeling of flesh on flesh. Izzy looked up into the expressive blue eyes and saw the demons lurking there. Demons that wanted nothing more than enough pleasure to drown out the pain for a while. The blonde lowered his head to Izzy's stomach and placed gentle, mind numbing kisses on his hot flesh.
"Rob," Izzy mumbled, his eyes slipping shut and his hormones waking, "Robby, I--." He knew in the back of his mind that the only reason either of them wanted this, was for temporary relief of their everyday life struggles. He wanted to say no, more than anything to run into Duffs room and reclaim him as his. Bas had taken his place, and he had to accept that. That fact alone is what drove Izzy to let Rob continue. Well, not only that. He felt closeness to Rob that he hadn�t felt with anyone but Duff. They both had problems, both hated confrontations, and right now they both felt like the world was against them. That pesky little thought made Izzy's decision a bit easier to voice.
"Wait." He almost didn�t recognize his voice as his own. Rob secretly sighed with relief, not wanting to ruin their potential, but not wanting to hurt anymore.
"What is it?" He asked, scooting up so that he was nose to nose with the hottie.
"Rob, are you sure you want this now?" His hands slowly stroked through the blond locks. Rob's deep passionate eyes urged him to explain his conclusion and sudden lack of interest. "We're both just so fucked up right now, and I don�t want to rush into anything. I don�t wanna fuck this thing up too." He finished with his fingers brushing the other mans cheek.
"Is it about Duff?" Rob's heart was sinking. He had come to terms with reality. Izzy loved Duff. Period. Izzy could never feel for him what he felt for Duff.
"Rob, yes it's about Duff, and no it's not. It's about me. It's not you Rob, at all." The brunette leaned down and pressed his lips gently against the drummers.
"I dunno what's wrong with me Izzy." Rob buried his face in Izzy's hair, hiding his pain stricken face.
"You're just scared," He paused, wrapping his arms tightly around the other mans small frame, "and so am I."
"Maybe, I can make that go away." Rob's sincerity was evident in his sad eyes, and his gentle touch. Izzy leaned down for a soft kiss, knowing he was trapped. He was falling.
"In time. Maybe we can find some sort of safety in each other eventually." He whispered, his lips still against Robs.
"Will you just hold me tonight?" The blonde needed Izzy more than even he realized. He needed to be needed, to be loved, to be wanted, to be held, to be comforted. Izzy didn�t answer him, but instead pulled the covers up over them and slid down in the bed, his arms open. Rob smiled weakly and crawled into them, relishing in the warm embrace.
THE END