Everyone is sitting at the table ready to eat, waiting for Axl
Gilby: So... Guys... Where's Axl?
Slash: Dude who cares... Pass the booze.
Matt: I bet he's boning some groupie!!! Hahahahaha
*everybody looks at Matt*
Duff: *Head spinning, tries to hold himself together* I think... We.... My dog... But today.... As. Table... Oh fuck... Pass the booze.
*Matt pulls the plate with the turkey over to himself*
Izzy: Matt, I really think we need to wait for Axl. We can't start without Axl. He's our friend!
Matt: *Touching turkey's breast* Hey look guys! I'm stroking breasts! Hahahahaha!!!
*Everybody looks at Matt*
Slash: Seriously dude... What the fuck is wrong with you?
Gilby: By the way, where's Dizzy?
Everybody: Up Axl's ass!
*Axl walks in with Dizzy right behind him*
Dizzy: The way you paid for that taxi! That was amazing Mr. Rose!
Axl: Thanks, Dizzy... You know what? I think we can do your song... What was it called again? Silkworms?
Duff: Geez Axl... You're like... That thing... Maybe... And then the pirates came... *passes out with his face in the salad*
Axl: I hope you don't mind I brought some friends
*In walk 3 violin players, 2 cello players, 6 men horn section, one roadie who plays the harmonica, 12 backup singers and a guy dressed in a huge Spongebob Squarepants costume*
Izzy: Oh god! That's too much for me to handle! I can't take this pressure anymore! *Runs off crying*
Slash: Where the fuck were you man? You're 3 hours late...
Axl: Shut up! I'll come up when I feel ready! If it takes me three hours to get ready to give out the best ass kicking Thanksgiving dinner in the world, I'll take those 3 hours! Get in the ring you hairy fucker! I'll kick your pussy ass!!!
Slash: Whatever dude...
Axl: Who touched the turkey????
Matt: Yeah I was stroking some breasts!!! Hahahaha
Axl: That's it!!!! You're outta here! Get out, you're fired!
*Matt stands up*
Matt: Yeah well if I leave everyone will leave too! Right guys?
Duff: ZZZzzzzZZZZ....
Slash: Whatever dude...
Gilby: I just got here.
Dizzy: I think Axl's right.
Axl: Come on! Get out!
*Matt walks away*
Matt: One day I'll record my own album; I'll call it "Hollywood Zen"! It�ll be the biggest hit since the Beatles! Then you'll see!
Slash: Whatever dude... Just don't record some shit with that junkie Weiland...
Axl: OK, Gilby cut the turkey!
*Gilby takes the knife and approaches the bird. Out of nowhere Buckethead shows up and tackles Gilby to the ground*
Slash: What the fuck? Who the hell is this guy??? Axl we are not going with THAT thing on stage!
Axl: That's it!!! You're out! You're fired!
Slash: *Grabs Duff's hand and pulls him behind him as he walks away* Whatever dude... Hey Matt! Wait up!
*Buckethead gets up*
Axl: Hey dude, you know how to play guitar?
Buckethead: ... *shaking head*
Axl: You'll learn!
Dizzy: That's a great decision Mr. Rose!
Everybody: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!