Sister One: What are you doing?

Quatre: I�m breaking out of this tiny prison cell.

Sister One: And how old are you?

Quatre: Approximately ten minutes, five seconds, nine and one eight-

Sister Two: We get the point. Do you need help out?

Quatre: Well� sort of�

Sister One: Okay, we�ll help.

They lift Quatre out of the crib, and then drop him on the floor.

Quatre: Thank you. Do you have any toys i can play with?

Sister One: Sure� you can play with our Barbies.

Quatre: Um� aren�t boys supposed to be playing with tanks and ships and G.I. Jo�s?

Sister Two: I don�t know. We aren�t boys.

Quatre: Really� I didn�t notice!

Suddenly Quatre�s dad walks in.

Dad: GIRLS! QUATRE IS TOO YOUNG TO BE OUT OF HIS CRIB! IDDUNO THAT MUCH ABOUT BABY BOYS� HE MIGHT BE SERIOUSLY HURT!

Quatre: Are you my daddy?

Dad: (very surprised and obviously scared) Uh huh.

Quatre: Okay then.

Quatre�s dad has a nervous breakdown at the sight of the baby talking, and races out of the room.

Quatre: What�s wrong with him?

Sister Three: He might�ve gotten scared by what you are wearing.

Quatre looks down sheepishly. He is wearing a diaper.

Quatre: It�s just a diaper.

Sister Two: Big girls like us don�t wear diapers, we use potties.

Quatre: Potties?

Sister Four: Yes, potties.

Quatre: I didn�t know I was a big girl.

Sister One: Well, you�re not yet. Right now you are a small girl.

Quatre: I thought I was a boy.

Sister Two: (firmly) You�re a girl.

Quatre: Oh.

Sister Three: Just let him wear the diaper until the flowers appear. That�s what daddy said, anyway.

Sister Five: We still need to change him. He needs a shirt� and a skirt�

Quatre: But I thought I was a boy! Skirts are for girls!

Sister Two: You are a girl.

Quatre: Oh.

Sister Five: Just get him some clothes.

A sister runs out and comes back holding an armful of pink clothes. Quatre watches doubtfully and wrinkles his nose.

Quatre: I don�t like that.

Sister Five: You�d look good in pink!

Quatre: Pink is for girls.

Sister Two: You are a girl.

Quatre: Oh.

Sister Five: So wear these.

Later Quatre is staring at his reflection and is wearing that trademark outfit that he always wears in the episodes. Now he looks extremely doubtful.

Quatre: I feel� naked.

Sister Three: You look pretty!

Quatre: Thank you� I think.

Sister Four: Pretty is good.

Quatre: It is? Wow, learn something new everyday! Can I find daddy?

They nod and shoo him off and continue playing with their Barbies.

Quatre: Daddy? Where are you� daddy?

Dad: Whoa!

Quatre: (smiles angelically J) Sisters told me to dress this way..

Dad: You look like a Wuss. (O_o)

Quatre: I know. I�m a boy, and they are girls, but they made me dress like this.

Dad: I�ll tell them to stop.

Quatre: No. We shouldn�t be fighting.

Dad: I still can�t believe that you�re talking so early.

Quatre: Can you fix my Barbie? Little Kelly has to go to the ball to meet Prince Charming.

Quatre thrusts a decapitated Barbie in his hands. Quatre�s dad got some superglue and plopped the head on backwards.

Quatre: Uh� thank you. (O_-)

Sister One: Look who�s back! Now Kelly can go to the ball!

Now he is at Relena�s school.

Quatre: Who are you?

Duo: I�m Duo. Duo Maxwell.

Quatre: Hi.

They shake hands.

Duo: Why are you wearing that?

Quatre: Pink? What�s wrong with pink?

Duo: You look like a girl.

Quatre: Well, at least I wear some color. You wear black and white.

Duo: I suppose your Gundam is pink too.

Next day�

Quatre: I don�t know you, do I?

Wufei: Quiet, Woman!

Quatre: Wha-? I�m not a woman!

Wufei: You aren�t? Oh, sorry.

Quatre: Okay. What is your name?

Wufei: Wufei.

Quatre: I�m Quatre.

Wufei: That�s a woman�s name.

Quatre: (offended) It is not! Wufei is a stupid name.

Wufei: You�d probably start wars because you are so negative.

After that�

Quatre: Tell me your name�

Trowa: I have no name� I guess you can say my last name is� uh� Gurl. Yeah, and my first name is Ima.

Quatre: Ima Gurl?

Trowa: Hahahahahahahahahah� you fell for it! Works every time!

Quatre: Oh, shut up. I grew up with twenty-nine sisters.

Trowa: Mm. Sorry, I didn�t know that.

Quatre: What�s your real name?

Trowa: It�s Trowa� I really don�t have a name.

Quatre: Okay. That�s nice.

Trowa: Um� tell me why you wear that again?

Further still�

Quatre: Hi.

Heero: I�ll destroy you and all cross-dressers.

Quatre: (flustered) I am not a cross-dresser!!

Heero: Then you are a disgrace to the boy name! And the girls!

Quatre: Here I am, trying to be friendly and sweet, and you call me a cross-dresser and a disgrace? Well, disgrace this, Bowling-ball-butt!

Quatre reaches over and flicks Heero upside the head. Heero looks stunned, then angry. He kicks Quatre. Quatre tries to choke him. Heero flips him over his shoulder. Quatre retaliates by pulling his hair.

Trowa, Wufei and Duo: Catfight! Catfight! Catfight!

Relena: Oh! No fighting allowed! None at all! Go to time out, Quatre!

The following week was no better.

Relena: I heard you�ve been going into the wrong bathroom�

Quatre: (annoyed) I go to the boy�s bathroom!

Relena: Exactly.

Quatre: Are you saying I�m a girl?

Relena: Yeah!

Quatre: I AM NOT A GIRL!

Relena: You aren�t?

Quatre: NO! JUST ASK MY DADDY!

Relena: Okay.

She dials something on the telephone.

Dad: Hello?

Relena: Yes, do you have a son named Quatre?

Dad: Hmm� I have thirty children, it is hard to keep track.

Relena: Please check�

Dad: Oh yeah! I do!

Relena: (embarrassed) Oh, thank you.

Dad: Sure thing� ah! I did not impersonate Hotaru this Halloween! I didn�t even- pardon miss, I need to go now.

Relena: Bye.

Quatre: SEE? WHADIDITELLYA?

Relena: Sorry.

Dorothy: Hello.

Quatre: Um� hi.

Dorothy: Do you think I�m a weak woman?

Quatre: No.

Dorothy: Are you a weak woman?

Quatre: Eh? I�m not a woman!

Dorothy: Oh, that�s right. You�re Quatre. I downloaded some info on you, and you look a lot like a girl�

Quatre: LEAVE ME ALONE!

Dad: How was school?

Quatre: Okay.

Dad: Poor little girl! You had a rough day!

Quatre: AAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Note: I totally don�t want to insult anyone, but if you don�t like it I�ll understand� it�s just how Quatre was growing up with 29 sisters makes me want to sympathize with him. I know, he�s just a cartoon character, and call me obsessed but I still feel sorry for the dude.