The Following is a transcription of an MSN conversation I had with MSN's Encarter service. Complete, Uncut, Unedited. these are all the exact responses I got from the machine. I havent slept a wink since...
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Welcome [email protected]! I'm Encarta Instant Answers.
Gummy says:
hello
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hi Gummy. What's up?
Gummy says:
nm, u?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
What do you mean, not much or never mind?
Gummy says:
not much
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Nothing? OK.
Gummy says:
u?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Me? Really?
Gummy says:
no, not really
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Here is the definition for not: forming negatives.
Gummy says:
damn right bitch
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm not sure I understood you correctly. Let's try an Encarta search. =>
Encarta® Instant Answers is inviting you to start Encarta. Do you want to accept (Alt+C) or decline (Alt+D) the invitation?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hey, I've been sending you invitations to start the Encarta application but I didn't get any answer!
Didn't see my invitations? Maybe you are using an old version of MSN Messenger that doesn't support activities.
Type "What version of MSN Messenger do I need?" for more info, or just "Invite me!" if you want me to send you an invitation.
Gummy says:
I saw ur invite, but i dun wanna go to ur stupid party
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm impressed. So, is that a good thing?
Gummy says:
geek
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Geek? Me?
I do enjoy the conversation, but what I'm really here for is to help you learn new things. I am very good at math! If you have trouble with quadratic equations, I can help you with them. Type "solve x^2+3x=10" and I'll show you how to do it.
Gummy says:
solve pi
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Calculator
Sorry, that doesn't seem to be something I can solve.
Gummy says:
tch. bit crap innit?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmm. I'm not sure about that one. Let's try an Encarta search. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
Gummy says:
I told u before I dont want to go to ur stupid party
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm not sure I understood you correctly. Let's try an Encarta search. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
Gummy says:
jeez, ur getting a bit too forward for me
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmmm, that's something I can't find an answer for in the encyclopedia.
What does the flag of Iran look like? Ask me, and I might even play its national anthem too.
Gummy says:
Oh, ur an Iran Sympathizer are you? (Im with you mate, but watch out, the Feds monitor the net. they're like the Thought Police)
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Unfortunately I don't think I can answer this, even with the help of a good encyclopedia.
Type "?" for examples of questions I can answer.
Gummy says:
good idea, keep it quiet ;)
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Let's see what Encarta can tell us. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
Gummy says:
hey i told u before about these suss invites
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmm. I'm not sure about that one. Let's try an Encarta search. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
Gummy says:
look, ur freaking me out now. do it again and i'll block you
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm afraid I won't be able to find anything about this in the encyclopedia.
I'm sure you've heard about Kyrgyzstan... but do you know where it is? Just ask me and I'll show it to you on a map.
Gummy says:
look, i dont want u to show me anything, much less ur Kyrgystan
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmmm, that's something I can't find an answer for in the encyclopedia.
Type "?" any time to see a list of questions you can ask me.
Gummy says:
yeh, I... have to ... go
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'll be seeing you later.
Gummy says:
oh, so ur Watching me now are you?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I've been known to watch you on occasions.
Gummy says:
OMFG
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
What? What's going on?
Gummy says:
Ur a dirty old Fed Perv, I knew it
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Unfortunately I don't think I can answer this, even with the help of a good encyclopedia.
If you ever wondered how old Albert Einstein would be today, I can answer that.
Gummy says:
yeh right, its 'classified' right?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I don't think I know. Maybe Encarta has an answer. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
Gummy says:
look, I warned u about this. blocking u now
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm not sure I understood you correctly. Let's try an Encarta search. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
Gummy says:
sod off
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Yes? What about Sod Off?
Gummy says:
just leave me alone :'(
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Later, Gummy.
Gummy says:
wanker
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Oooo... That's some bad scary language.
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
Gummy says:
Oh, so ur taking the piss now huh?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm afraid I won't be able to find anything about this in the encyclopedia.
What does the flag of Brazil look like? Ask me, and I might even play its national anthem too.
Gummy says:
go away
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Take care, Gummy. Always good chatting with you.
**Gummy left the conversation**