The more you suffer the more it shows you really care

I've realized that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. The intensity may vary depending on the impact on your relationship. Just the same, it hurts when your pride is tipped-off. It cuts and it hurts.

I wish I could tell him how bad I feel right now. But I guess talking won’t do any good for the both of us. I’m afraid I might say something that he would not like and same thing goes for me too.

I must admit, I was never good at confrontation. Whether I’m on the good or bad side, I hate brazing out with someone. I can’t carry on with my words well. Worst, I hardly make sense when it comes to presenting my ideas. I looked like an amateur notary cluttering with words that I could barely make good judgment. I sputter with the “ahhs” and “ohhs” that could irritate any erudite judge. My face flushed and my veins puffed out like hell!

I like to think that such appalling behavior during confrontation is merely due to the fact that I want to say something but I can’t say it. I have yet to filter the words that are popping into my head before saying them. I claimed that the reason for this is merely lethargic—to avoid hurting the other party! What if instead of making peace it turned out worse? What if instead of making myself clear it ended up uncertain and awful?

I’m sorry but you really hurt me!

Yah, yah, I know I’ve told you I’m okay and it was all forgotten but what can I do, it still haunts me. The thought has been snagging me that I have to tell you or one day I’ll just burst and you will wonder what had happened to me. I fear that one day, I’ll snapped and I’ll frighten you.

Okay, why did you lie to me?

I will assume that you don’t want to hurt my feelings... that you were merely protecting me. But to heck with that! You know me more than that! You know that, I’d rather you tell it to my face than hide it away hoping it won’t come out.


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It is easier to leave angry words unspoken than to heal a heart that had been broken by such spoken words.