Having Friends

The concept of friendship has been dissected through ages but still remains to be one of the most complex and intriguing relationships that any individual nurtures throughout his life. But don’t be surprised if I tell you that I’ve also got my fair share of friends- -eventhough I seem to be one of the most, if not the unfriendliest person on this side of the planet.

Friendship doesn’t always have to be the compatible-as if soulmate-stuff that we are being led to believe it should be. Most of my dearest friends are angels- -compared to the devil that is me. We are never the same, but we cohabitate in harmony, nonetheless.

Some people have this preconceived notion that a friend should be like this and like that blah blah blah. I think not. You might have the luxury of choosing your friends-to-be, but your criteria for a friend is immaterial if you really hope to find a real one.

Friends come in your life unexpectedly. You may have a million acquaintances, people whom you see and interact with everyday, but there will only be a select few whom you can really call “friends”.

It’s true that friends can be your exact opposite. And sometimes, I really think its better that way because you can see things in different perspectives. Don’t you think that it’s a lot nicer if friends don’t have to be your self-appointed echoes all the time?

A friend should never hesitate to tell the truth, even if it means another round of a heartbroken Mariah Carey on your CD player or a couple of Jose Cuervo on the table. Real friends should give you the stinking truth, the bad news that you’ve been avoiding to face and the gut-wrenching facts that you’ve been denying to yourself for the longest time. Truth sucks, but it’s the only thing you deserve.

But spilling the truth doesn’t end there. Real friends don’t just say, “I told you so” (although they do, most of the time) just for the heck of it. Real friends help you bounce back into the world. They don’t necessarily help you forget, but they provide the next best thing- -they give you the option to be a better person.

They don’t just say, “Stop crying”, but they say “Stop crying or else…” They provide you with choices: either dump that bleeping bastard or cry out your eyes 24-7; either strangle him with your curtains or suffocate yourself with your humongous pillows; either break up with him pronto or eternally hear Mariah Carey’s caterwauling until your ears bleed; Such is the determination of friends to haul you out of your misery that you just have to accept it- -bruises and all- -because you know that all they’re trying to do is for your best, eventually.

Some say a friend doesn’t have to say a thing, she just understands. I disagree. Whoever thought of that probably has a huge communication problem. Or a dysfunctional sense of speech. I’ll give you one example. If I am bawling my eyes out and consequently plans to annihilate my boyfriend from the face of the earth, do you think giving me the silent treatment would change my mind and make me forgive that bastard? Fat chance.

I assure you, to divert me from my murderous streak, you have to talk me out of it. I am no psychoanalyst. And I don’t pretend to read minds. I cannot look at you, snap my finger and say…”ahhh, you want me to forgive the guy blah blah blah”. Gimme a break. Talking is a major form of expression. So why can't we bleeping use it?

To say “I’ll always be here” to a friend is a tricky thing to do. It holds no promises nor guarantees that they will really do. But it’s so comforting to know that real friendship, when you are blessed with one, transcends time and space to assure you that they are so true to their word. That they are really always there.

I’m happy with the friends that I have because they let me be me. I can say the meanest things and do the most outrageous and even the silliests things and they would understand. They know that I can never be an angel. But deep down they know that I’m not the she-devil either. They tell me that I’m wrong when I’m at fault, and they cheer on me when they see that I’m rooting for what’s best. They don’t have to agree with me all the time. One opinion out of five people is not just boring, it’s outright pathetic.

When we feel the need to tell each other what we think, we freely do so. And we don’t hold grudges no matter how hard the truth hits us. And that is what’s best in having friends. You don’t have to analyze yourself. Someone does the job for you. And most likely, they are much better at it, so much more than you can ever be.