A week ago, I got an e-mail from a friend who is studying abroad. It was a forwarded message so I skipped reading it. (I usually read them last). Yesterday, as I was deleting some of my spam e-mails, I came across the message again and found myself pouring some immense attention into it. The first line of the e-mail caught my attention and it kicks off with something like this:

THINK about this. You MAY NOT realize it, but it’s 100% TRUE.

Did you notice the demarcation to show emphasis? The statement sounds like a nice material for a possible chain letter. Those stuffs usually start with a good kicker, attention-getter type of statements and reading the first few words you would likely to predict where this whole thing is going. All chain letters have nothing but one purpose—to ANNOY people. I mean, what’s the point of sending this garbage when you know that it’ll go straight to the trash bin? Some are still nuts in believing that an e-mail could bring them bad luck if they themselves failed to forward it to other people. It’s a sickening chain reaction in the virtual world, which I may say causes a freaking delusion to some (including me). Isn’t that a disgrace? Chain letter is a form of emotional blackmail. It’s a gray mail and people who are superstitious are the likely victims.

So there was I reading one of those emotional blackmailers and found myself trapped to its absurdity. I should have dumped the e-mail a moment ago but the first line groped my attention and I have to give the sender a little credit for that.

It was raining outside and the wind was very clear to my senses that even the twisty movement of the trees did not fail to reach my ears. Our house smelled of garlic and onion. I heard the beat of a swirling spoon scouring over our old frying pan. Heaven goodness, my mother was cooking spaghetti!

I could not concentrate, sorry, my brain was gloating over the smell of spaghetti and the weather was too perfect for driving yourself mad over a non-sense e-mail. Here’s what I got from reading that letter. The information is not that excruciating; in fact you might find it amazing enough to spend a few minutes of your idle time.

It enumerates 15 lines about what the sender claimed as a 100%-true-if-you-only-realized-it kind of thing. I read them aloud:

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

Well it could be. Who else will love us unconditionally and be willing to have their heads cut off for us but our PARENTS. And this goes for everybody else.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

Isn’t this a portion of Manang Rosa’s horoscope column? This statement is quite presumptuous, don’t you think? I have already squeezed all my resources and all I could think are 5 people who could love me “in some way”. This is disgraceful and I might just be underrating everything here but that’s as far as I could get, 5 people who would be willing to die for me—my mum, my dud, my big bro, my kid sis, and my bestfriend (I’m not over assuming here, am I?). I could have included Scraffy and the gang and the number would increase to 9 but they are retrievers.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

Now this statement is assuming too much. I hate our 45-year old neighbor because she always throws her garbage near our house. Does hating her mean I wanted to be like her? I better change my feelings for her otherwise I’d be a real sucker. One more, I hate Britney Spears and wanting to be like her never did occur to me even once.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

Isn’t this being PLASTIC and UNTRUE? The statement could have ended with the word “anyone” but adding, “even if they don’t like you” at end of the sentence is too fake. I hate two-faced people. Can’t I be rewarded with a smile and happiness only from those people I liked?

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

This is funny. I am an insomniac, does that mean anything?

6. You mean the world to someone.

I could change my perspective and find some truth in this statement. My mum, revealed to us once when we were sick that we—me, my brother, and my sister—mean the world to them so I guess this statement is true.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

This is a revelation to me. I could not expound. I am speechless.

8. You are special and unique.

Really? This sounds like one of those feel-good cards I got last Christmas from a Christian friend. Nevertheless, the card brought me one good thing—it discouraged me from undergoing self-pity.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

Very cheesy yet I don’t see the point.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

This is true (been there, done this).

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look; you most likely turned your back on the world.

Isn’t that likely the case?

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it. But if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

Sounds like a maxim to me.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

It’s like asking, how do you wallow without whining?

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know.

Even when they have halitosis? And that you’re dying a bit every time she is blabbing in front of you? Watch out: YOUR about to inhale a CARBON MONOXIDE!!!

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Most of my friends are average, will that make any difference?

I went to the last part of the e-mail and it says:

Send this letter to all the people you care about, including the person who sent this to you. If you do so, you will certainly brighten someone's day and might change their perspective on life, for the better.

I wasn’t able to send this to anyone because I don’t believe that there’s an urgency of sending this to my friends. This e-mail tells one important thing about people—reassuring one’s self worth. Most of my friends don’t need that because they are too egotistical to know that they are all important people and that they don’t need assurance from a chain letter to know that they are indeed “unique and special”.

I wasn’t able to send this to anyone but I am letting YOU read it