Y2Krap
Genesis of the hype
I should have known that is was coming. I'm not talking about a would be meltdown of civilization as we know it, but panic spread by those who not know their ass from a hole in the ground.
I remember back to the very early 1990's. By this time I was firmly entrenched as the Information Technology person and network manager for a national company, supporting three small remote offices.
I'd get a lot of trade publications; free magazines wherein the authors usually rehash things that we all know or make bogus predictions on the future of technology. About this time articles started to surface about possible problems with IBM compatible PCs not able to handle the year 2000 rollover. Turns out the problem effected mostly older PCs, and would pretty much render itself moot in another few years as these machines fell into obsolescence. I tested out a handful of machines in the office and decided to forget about the whole thing.
That was, until the office attorney brought in the article. I don't recall the name of the publication, but it was one of those magazines that catered to the lawyer population. In this article, (written by an attorney, of course) the author stated that all PC?s would suffer from the rollover and stop functioning. This triggered a meeting with the General Manager and Vice President. They were concerned by the possible shutdown of the systems in the office. Essentially I told them that everything was OK, and that the author of that article should stick to something he knows, like practicing law, and leave commentary on technology to those who work in the IT industry.
You know, I learned two things at that time. One, the general media had gotten a hold of this, and are going to totally blow it out of proportion, and two, everyone and their dog thinks they are a fucking computer expert.
The hype started to build as time moved on to the late 1990s. I remember people telling me about how everything was going to shut down; utilities, appliances, and transportation. I would ask them their source of the information and one name surfaced repeatedly: Chuck Missler.
He produces "The Missler Report", which according to one web site provides "A daily commentary on news, politics, science and the arts from a Biblical perspective with internationally known business executive and Bible Commentator, Chuck Missler". Missler also provides a foray of audio tapes on almost any imaginable subject, for a price. Missler was prophesizing doom from the rollover to the year 2000, even stating that Chinese and Russian nuclear missiles could launch from this. Too bad Chuck doesn't know that the Chinese have most of their missile arsenal pointed at the Russians, maybe he'd think it was a good thing.
Missler establishes his credibility based on the fact that he worked on mainframe computers back in the 1960s. On that, millions of people believed the opinions of a man that worked on technology that was obsolete years ago. Somehow Missler stretches this outdated knowledge into all sectors and aspects of modern technology.
I would explain to these people that very few industries use those obsolete hunks of tubes and wires anymore, if any. I personally tested over 400 computers, with a sample of many different types and speeds. Also, any industry interested in making money would have tested their systems. The company I work for would lose hundreds of thousands of dollars an hour if systems went down, so we had to damn well make sure everything would function. Same with the utility sector. If the meters don't run, they have no revenue. Same with the banks. I would offer to show my credit card that expires in the year '01. See, they are already prepared.
"Oh no," these people would start, "What about the chips in things they don't know about like switches and controls. What if a chip in a nuclear missile goes awry?"
I would try and explain about why a nuclear missile could care less about what day it is. Like it needs to know perhaps what day Christmas is so when it hits its target it might do less damage as some sort of humanitarian gesture? Why would your car care about what day it is? Like it needs to know that it should work harder on Tuesdays because traffic is usually worse? Bullshit. If there isn't anyplace to enter a date onto a chip, it doesn't have one. The date would get wiped out when the chip loses power. Besides, most small chips are used as timers or to monitor frequencies.
Still, I and my fucking fifteen years of experience with computers were dismissed in favor of some asshole with a bible and a radio show.
Old Chuck wasn't the only one promoting doom and gloom with the coming year 2000. Virtually every television and radio news show had something to say about it. Glossed over publications such as Time and Newsweek, heralded by many as intelligent news sources had put the loads in their fear pistols. Finally, Uncle Bill and the Feds stepped in, and wanted to assure you that they were working hard on resolving the problem.
Countdown
In the final week of 1999, they came out of the woodwork. I had people that held four year degrees in engineering come up to me and ask about what they should do with their computer at home. I think one was convinced that their computer might blow up. Others were worried about losing all their data. I would tell them to go home, not worry about it, and enjoy their New Year. They would persist, worried not to turn it on the day before or on New Years Day. I would tell them about the 400 plus computers, and tell them to go home, relax, and enjoy the holiday.
During that week, I had some obsolete PCs that could be given away to employees. I had one left, and the guy asked if he could get another one. "Why's that?" I asked. "This one has a Year 2000 Failed sticker on it." I explained to him that when I tested the hundreds of PCs in the building, they were divided into three categories: Green, meaning it passed all rollover tests. Yellow, meaning the rollover failed, but the machine would accept a year 2000 date entered manually. Red, meaning that the it would not hold a year 2000 date after being powered off. All yellow and red coded machines got the failed stickers. There was only one PC that was coded red, and that was replaced almost a year ago due to obsolescence. What would happen with his PC is that when it rolled over to the 1st, the date would skip back to 1980, the earliest date in the hardware's programming. Simply enter 1/1/2000 manually and it will give you no more problems.
"That's all?" he asked. "That's all." I said. "So all this hype is about that?" "Yep." The security guard just shook his head. I told him to go home, enjoy his New Year and the computer.
My future wife and I got a few inquires about our plans during that last week. Where would we be, and oh yes, that's good because so and so has a shitload of food and water hoarded away. We'd go to the supermarket and people would ask if we?re shopping for Y2K and we'd say no, only enough so we don't have to come back until after Monday. No extra food, no extra money, no water, no flashlights. We planned nothing out of the ordinary. She works in the IT industry too, and we both knew of what was to come.
On a rainy December 31st, we went to lunch with a group of other IT professionals. Not once did the subject of the year 2000 ever come up. We did get an invitation to a party, and decided to accept but plan to leave early so that we might celebrate the New Year alone. Enough said.
About 30 people were supposed to show up at the party, and I expected them to all be there as we arrived late. Imagine my amazement as I entered an empty house. The hosts had beer, soda, hard liquors and wine. They had pastries and cookies set out. They had salads, chips, salsa and guacamole ready for the taking. And nobody showed that night. Some at least had the balls to admit they were scared, and wanted to stay home and wait for catastrophe to strike. Others made the lame excuses like it was too cold or too rainy.
At no time during this whole Y2K charade did I feel bad, not even when people would take the word of a bible thumping prophet over mine, but I felt bad now. It still bothers me. These gracious hosts opened their home, took the time to invite people over and get things set up, bought food and drink, only to be snubbed because some chicken shit assholes on the boob tube and squawk boxes of the world said the sky would fall that night.
We went home and enjoyed our personal celebration of the New Year. We laughed at all the people who were thinking that it was all going to end. We could only shake our heads at the gullibility of the human race.
Aftermath
My future brother-in-law called on New Years Day. He told me he was enjoying his new toy, a fully loaded Pentium III. He admitted that we were right, that this day would be mostly normal and quiet. He said that he felt about two inches tall for buying into all the hype. I said to let it serve as a lesson, don't believe anything that you see or hear from the media.
I came back to work that Tuesday, and production was running normal. We did find two databases that were not putting out the correct years, but these were easily fixed. I wandered around and found one of the programmers. We laughed at how people behaved before the New Year. We laughed at the idiot in Los Angeles who withdrew $6000 hoping to escape the banks collapsing only to have it stolen before he got home.
Those who were sure that everything was going to go to hell walked around with sheepish looks on their faces. Idiots.
Commentary
I think I must have really been in the minority about how the year 2000 would come about. I must admit, those of us that knew are a bit resentful about being snubbed. Even those, whose opinions I value greatly, wrapped us on the knuckles. We are part of the industries that were supposed to crash, and when we said, "No, we have tested and re-tested and everything will be just fine, " you did not believe us. Some made fun of us stating that we were sooooo confident that everything was going to be OK. Who laughs now Chicken Little?
Those of you who pride yourself on not listening to the mainstream I have to ask: what the hell was going through your mind?!? All this talk and writing of how we are "independent thinkers". Why were you listening to Uncle Bill and the Feds? Why were you listening to the 11:00 news? Why did you take the opinions of "experts" who did not have established credentials? Did you think that just because they are on TV/radio/in print that they must know what they are talking about?
Ah, but maybe we were all victims of a plot. The trailer trash talk about it being a conspiracy by companies to sell more food, batteries, generators, and such forth. Think about it, why would they need or want to? By doing so they would expect to have excellent revenues for the last quarter of the year, only to have very slow sales periods for the next two. That doesn?t make sense. Why would they need to invent some widespread sales conspiracy to sell crap that is sold in ever increasing numbers by slick advertising? Batteries? What about the oh-so-cute-I-could-puke Energizer bunny? His pink fluffy ass has done more for that company that a conspiracy ever could. Ever heard of rechargeable alkaline? For about the same price as regular batteries you can get 100 times more use out of them. No, those companies have people so misdirected with advertising that they keep buying the disposable kind. Enough said.
A plot, yes a conspiracy. That always sounds good. When we can't blame ourselves a witch-hunt always makes everything better. I do think there is a plot in all of this. It stems from two groups, both of who are interested in power and controlling lives: our government and religious leaders.
Ol' Bill and his cronies sure made it out to look like heroes after this. In late 1998 and early 1999, the federal government was issuing panicked reports that they themselves and businesses were not ready for the year 2000, and that they would not be ready in time. Then, in mid to late 1999, there was a turn around stating that almost everyone would be ready, and things were just gonna be coming up roses. Oh God, thank you for the federal government and how they saved us from the terrible Y2K catastrophe! What would we do without them?
What kills me is that after nothing happened, and they sent home all the people they had working in their Y2K Emergency Centers, they had the gall to say "Whew! Good thing nothing happened. It was worth all the billions of dollars we spent to prevent this!" Prevent what? Prevent something that would not have happened anyway? It ends with the event quietly being swept under the rug.
Those fine upstanding religious leaders, what of them? I hope Missler's credibility is destroyed! In short, we all know that historically the purpose of religion is to control the masses. Guess it still works. Christians, a bit of advice: Just because someone is your "brother in Christ" doesn't mean that they are being truthful or know what they are talking about. Some of them will screw you over faster than a $20 whore.
I think the final blame can be leveled on the "fear factor". Something in the human brain overrides rational thought and takes over. Perhaps it could be attributed to our early ancestors. Their need for something to take over and move them away from immanent danger, such as being sat on by a wooly mammoth.
I would say that we should all have a lesson learned. Something about believing what you see on television or read in the slick glossy covers on magazines found in dentist offices. Remember that they are businesses needing to turn a profit in a highly competitive field. In the pursuit of the almighty dollar, anything goes.
I'm pushing for having television manufacturers put warning labels on their products. It would read "WARNING! For entertainment purposes only!"
Written by Christopher J. Berry . E-mail: [email protected]
[Article Originally appeared in the March/April 2000 issue of THE THOUGHT]