Title: Four Days
Author: Raven ( [email protected] )
Pairing: Lucius/Voldemort (implied)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Voldemort goes on vacation for four days, leaving Lucius in charge of the Death Eaters. NOT to be taken seriously! It'd be impossible to name all the pairings in this fic but the main focus is on Lucius/Voldemort, narrated by Lucius.Day Two
Day Two - Morning
Huzzah! It's finally Friday! And that means the weekend! No more lousy Ministry work! No more dealing with Fudge! No more..oh, wait. I'm still the current Dark Lord. Well, nutbunnies.
Last night sucked big, hairy centaur balls. I couldn't sleep, the bed was too big for just one person. Tonight, I'll probably pay a visit back to my Manor and see if Narcissa can do something about this current godawful ITCH I have concerning my 'beloved' Master. I swear, if he doesn't come back in three days, I'll...
I really don't know what I'd do. And this is pathetic. I shouldn't be wasting my time hanging around like this. I shouldn't bother thinking about what he's doing or what he's thinking or who he's fucking in my stead. Goddamn BASTARD! He had better not be dating some pretty blond. All men want a pretty little blond. It's always the pretty little blonds!
So he'd better not forget the one he left behind. Though I'm hardly little. And anyone who says any different will die a very painful death.
On a completely different note, I have decided what I would like to do with my current army. I figure that by destroying our enemies one by one, that should put me in good with Voldemort and relieve all the tension that has been going around for the past few days. I don't intend to attack Potter, that would be just plain suicidal. Now, I think I'll have to focus our energies on the more possible-to-kill enemies.
Namely the Weasleys. And then maybe the Grangers. They should be highly entertaining to watch burn. It'll give the other Death Eaters something to do, at least. I believe we should just use the overkill method. Hit them all very, very hard and in a massive group so as to prevent anyone from running away.
We can be such assholes, it's wonderful. So, that's my current battle plan for tonight. I hope it goes well. I don't see how it wouldn't. And if we succeed, the Dark Lord won't have to complain about how one of his pets was accidentally being squished by a log truck.
Which, by the way, was so not my fault.
Day Two - Afternoon
If I can't take my coffee break,
My coffee break,
My coffee break.
If I can't take my coffee break,
Something within me DIES!
Lies down and something within me dies!
Only two more hours to go until I can get the hell out of this office of mine and run away quickly back to the boys in..what season is this? Spring. Yes. Back to the boys in pastels. Ah, spring is here and we can poison the pigeons in the park together. I think I might be going crazy. Thank god it's the end of the week. I have been fidgeting in this chair since I first arrived at work no less than three hours ago.
And I am bored. If it isn't Fudge, it's these lousy Muggle protection papers that need my signature. I have taken great delight in folding them into paper birds and letting them sail around the room. A few have even flown out the door and I hope one of them makes it to Arthur's desk. No such luck so far, though. All I get is my secretary coming in to tell me that a form just landed in her coffee.
Bitchy woman. She gets paid to keep her mouth shut. I did, however, take the hint and have since been hurling darts at my Dumbledore dartboard. I cannot wait for the attack to begin tonight. Not only are we going to kill, we're going to kill in style due to Mrs. Lestrange's clothing. Life is very good.
I'll have to take an early dinner, of course. One can't kill on an empty stomach and since I'll be leading the attack, it's best to go looking absolutely divine. Especially since I'm representing the Dark Lord. Strike that. Especially since I am, currently, the Dark Lord.
I don't think this whole deal is as big as he's made it out to be. I mean, I'm good at paperwork, so working out dues and where everyone should be placed is too damn easy. I'm excellent when it comes to dealing with people, if I do say so myself. Should they give me any grief, I'd simply kill their children. Or their dogs. Whichever they're closer to.
Bottom line is, I'm finding all of this to be a fairly simple task. I honestly don't see why Voldemort had so many sleepless nights and was busy every single moment of the day. The only problem with my life, is that I have far too much free time to think on things I really don't want to dwell on.
Such as how the Dark Lord is and if he's coming back reattached to some other idiot's head. I sincerely hope not. A turban just does not become him. In fact, there's very little that does become a Voldemort who's stuck on the back of someone's head. On the plus side, I could try the matching outfits idea. I'm sure he'd look precious in them.
Though sex would be a bitch again. Especially if he attaches himself to another homophobe. One wouldn't believe how confusing it was to be getting mixed signals. Voldemort says yes, Quirrel asks, "What the hell is he doing?" I don't know which is worse. When Quirrel kept hollering or when he started touching me. Up to this day, I have to wonder if it was Quirrel or Voldemort doing the touching.
I was fairly repelled at the idea and I don't see how going over it now will help any. I'll leave the philosophizing alone for now. If he doesn't come back to me as someone else's other head, then I hope he gets me something from where he is. A keychain would be nice. Or Ireland.
I would very much like to purchase Ireland. Voldemort had once promised me Ireland as soon as we conquered the world, but his tone was a bit patronizing. Added to the fact that he patted me on the head as soon as he promised and it adds up to me not getting Ireland.
I'll plague him for Greenland, though. Or the little continent off the coast of Africa that no one can remember the name of. I so like those cute little colonies and the people there would be fun to enslave. Unlike House Elves, they can't disappear.
Ah, the thoughts that amuse me while I'm at work. That reminds me, I'll have to make an appointment at the salon to get my nails done before I go out tonight. I might be expected to strangle someone and I'll be damned if I allow anyone to see me without perfect nails.
Day Two - Evening
I am pleased to say that the entire night went off without a hitch. There was a string of very strange incidents that occurred, but the end result was met and we were all very happy. The night had been cool, not to hot, and our new robes fluttered in the wind as we apparated around the Weasley household. We were dressed pristinely and everyone acted on their best behaviour.
Maybe due to the riding crop I had in my hand, or that lovely leather suit I thought would look so well with my white mask. As to the actual attack, I must say, I'm not quite sure exactly how it all went down. I heard a lot of screaming but I was too busy flailing Macnair who insisted on acting up. I don't much get that man at times. He seemed fine all this time until he saw this outfit.
Oh well, who am I to complain. He screams so delightfully. Even more so when I put the clamps..
Oh, that's a different story. At any rate, the Death Eaters attacked and soon the fires started and then the youngest of the Weasleys ran out clutching a leather bound book.
"Stop! Stop! I'm one of you! Take me with!" She screamed as she ran towards Avery. Naturally, he brought her to me and I had a sort of one-sided conversation with her. Now, I knew that Arthur's family was messed up, but I never thought it was this bad. She claimed to be possessed by Tom Riddle of all people and he communicated with her via a diary.
In the end, she started helping us set the fires and slaughtering the rest of her family. No big loss. So, the Weasleys are now off our Christmas lists and we were feeling so good, we decided to drop by the Grangers.
Unfortunately, we got out houses mixed up and ended up on the Chang's doorstop. We didn't know of our mix-up until after everyone was dead. I suppose it doesn't matter in the long run. Dead is dead and so long as there's someone roasting on the spit, everything is fine.
To celebrate, we had a Dark Revel. The whiskey was overflowing and I even did that little dance with the snake again. There was no Snape to drink the beer as it coursed down my leg into his mouth, but that didn't matter in the end. There was a massive bonfire and a few demons were summoned up and hastily disposed of.
Such fun! And they all looked so delightful dancing about the bonfire in their brightly lit clothes, singing the praises of the Dark Lord. Of course, some of the songs are a bit outdated and we had to liven up the lyrics. I'm certain Voldemort won't mind and I do wish that he was there to celebrate with us. His presence was sorely missed.
After the activities had died down, I retreated back to the Manor where a delightful conversation with my wife occurred.
"No, can you use the other dildo? The big one? The one with the clawed tip?"
Times like these I really miss my Lord. We ended up compromising. I wanked off and she watched me hungrily. It was so much like my Lord, I could have completely self-deluded myself.
After which, I fucked her into the mattress in compensation for making her try to take his place. I'm sure he wouldn't have blamed me. If he did, the bastard shouldn't have left!
I ended up waking up at around one am and wandering about the Manor. I thought about summoning him up, but that would have proven to be futile. He had told me to deal with it as I did before he had come back to us, but those times were hellish and he's normally telling me not to look back at them or think on them.
I ended up going out onto the balcony and lighting up. Two more nights of this crap. I honestly don't think I can deal with it. I don't really want to deal with it. I miss him so much and I know I'm acting weak, but it's hard to help it after going 13 years without him. It hurts to know that even after that time, he still wants to be away from me.
I suppose I am suffocating him even though I don't intend to do so. Maybe I'm just paranoid that he'll leave me again and I don't think I can live through that. Wherever he is, I hope he's, at least, happy, and will come back to me feeling better about himself and not so damn miserable.