Title: The Balcony Scene
Author: Raven ( [email protected] )
Pairing: Lucius/Voldemort
Rating: NC-17
Summary: A humourous fic that deals with the Lestranges, Fudge, free food, and wand smut.

The Balcony Scene

Lucius leaned back in his chair. It wasn't leather. It didn't swivel. And it didn't recline all that well. But it was the only comfortable chair he had in this room, so he made due.

Macnair sat next to him in a chair that wasn't as comfortable as Lucius' but it was the only other chair in the room so he made due. Both of them were passing the time idly by sipping wine, playing chess, and listening to the crazed ramblings of Lestrange.

Lestrange was rambling. Crazily. He was speaking to the wall about sherry and some Muggle sport called Base-ket-ball. Neither Lucius nor Macnair chose to make any sense of it.

Lestrange's gibberish echoed through the halls of Malfoy Manor. The halls reverberated with his delusional ravings and the passing maids and butlers quickly sped out of the way of the room that held the insane occupant.

This was quite hard to do since their Master was in the same room and his constant ringing for them had to be handled. Preferably without bloodshed. They could swear he was doing this to them on purpose. "Fudge is around the area." Macnair blurted out. He was always doing things like that. Blurting out the obvious.

"Excuse me?" Lucius looked up. It had been his move.

"Fudge is around this area." Macnair repeated blankly.

"Why so he is." Lucius had already known this little tidbit of information. Had known it for about two days longer than Macnair. Fudge was constantly seen around his Mansion these days. Ever since Voldemort had busted out the Lestranges, the Mansion had received their fair quota of guests, mostly unwelcome ones.

Such an attraction was quickly found out by Fudge, even though the man normally had his eyes on his latest whore or on Lucius' crotch. And seeing as how he was Minister of Magic, he naturally had to do something about it. He had been snooping through the rosebushes of the Mansion early one morning and only moved when Lucius had mistakenly watered him.

Fudge had tried to explain himself but Lucius would hear none of it and invited him inside for tea. After all, it isn't every day he watered the Minister of Magic.

Fudge had accepted his offer and the two spent the day, or at least the better part of the hour, drinking their tea, eating their crumpets, and discussing the annoying situation Fudge was in, and "Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt you, Cornelius, but you appear to have sprouted a daisy."

Fudge had gone home content in the fact that his idol wasn't an evil psychopath working for a Dark Lord intending to rule the world. And Lucius had gone back to his quarters plotting with the Dark Lord as to how to rule the world.

However, people had complained that Fudge was being too soft and so it was back to the Manor once again, which Fudge didn't mind because then he might be invited to the Malfoy family dinner and get some free food.

"What do you intend to do about it?" Macnair asked, interrupting Lucius' train of thoughts, which had consisted of tiny shampoo bottles that are left in hotels.

"About what?" The ones scented apple were particularly inviting.

"About Fudge. What if he finds something out?"

The probability of Fudge actually finding something out was about as big as Lucius dying at the end of the Harry Potter books. Which is, to say, not that high.

"Nothing. Let him snoop. I've got nothing to hide."

This was a complete and utter lie. Lucius did have a lot to hide. His Karaoke machine for instance located in his secret chamber room. He had been hard-pressed trying to explain that to the Ministry officials. And even harder pressed trying to get them off it.

And then there was the raving ninny who was eating at the legs of his chair right now. "Quit that." Lucius kicked Lestrange's head.

Lestrange immediately grabbed hold of his knees, drawing them tightly up to his chin and started rocking back and forth.

"Why would our Lord want that guy back is beyond me." Macnair noted. Aside from blurting things out, he also enjoyed noting. "He's useless to us in this condition."

"Our Lord's way is not ours to question." Lucius wished someone out there would make a book out of his witticisms.

Before anything more could be said, and not much would be said at any rate, there was a cackling from outside the window.

The cackling was a screwed up signal developed by Avery to be used whenever a Ministry official came waltzing on by.

That should show you just how intelligent Avery is. Cackling for chrissake. In a mansion full of evil people. Cackling. Honestly. But getting back to our story.

Lucius and Macnair jumped up, Macnair out of fear and alarm. Lucius because Lestrange had just groped his perfect ass.

"That might be Fudge." Macnair noted. This man loves to note. Lucius looked at Lestrange and kicked him to get his attention. "You." Lestrange looked up at him piteously.

Macnair was getting frantic. "What'll we do? We can't let Fudge find him!"

Lucius sighed and ran a hand through his long, gorgeous silver hair eliciting screams from the fangirls. He really wanted Ralph to play him in the movie. He would have done such a good job.

"Lucius!"

Macnair's scream drove him out of his reverie and he kneeled down to Lestange's level.

"Lestrange, my old friend. We are going to play a game of hide-and-seek. Do you understand?"

Lestrange nodded, lost in Lucius' silver eyes.

Many people got lost in his eyes. Some were never found.

"Good. You are going to go outside onto the balcony and wait there until I come and get you."

"The balcony?" Macnair was perplexed. "But Fudge could see him from there if he came in!"

Lucius shook his cute lil head. "Nonsense. I've had these balconies put in for just these special reasons. They are located between windows. No one can see them. Look outside."

Both Macnair and Lestrange peered outside. They saw no balcony.

"That is what Fudge will see. Lestrange will be perfectly safe there. The only thing he has to deal with is the slight jump from the window to the balcony. Only about three feet. Nothing too steep." Lucius smiled his dazzling smile.

Macnair nodded. Of course. Lucius, in his profound brillance, had come up with yet another fool-proof plan. He quelled a sudden urge to bow down to the silver-haired sex god.

"Now, Lestrange, we can't waste any time! Get to the balcony!"

And then Lucius was throwing open the window and pushing Lestrange outside. "Now turn around so you're not facing the window. Yes, there's a good boy. Now kneel down. No, don't unzip my pants. Okay, now put your feet out first. It's always a good thing to land feet first, you see. Yes, like that. Good."

He held the man in a vice-like grip. "Now let your feet drop. Good. Okay, I'm going to let you go now. Don't say a word until you see me come out here and get you. Understand? Good. Good."

And then Lucius let go and Lestrange let out a short yelp as he fell out the window. Lucius quickly shut the it behind him.

"And now," Lucius said quietly to Macnair. "Hand me your knife."

Macnair did so. Normlly he kept his axe with him as well as a necklace made out of rodent skulls but he never failed to cart around his knife. For it was a special knife, given to him on his tenth birthday. He had sliced a bird's head off with it. It had been his first kill and he was ever so proud.

And so it was with great reluctance that he handed Lucius the knife. Lucius then promptly slit his right arm with it, drawing a vast amount of blood, but hitting nothing vital. He tore the robe covering the arm, leaving deep gashes before handing the weapon back to Macnair.

"Uh..." Was all Macnair could get out. For he had not gotten over his first bit of perplexedness and it had carried over.

"Put the knife back in your boot." Lucius said, quite calmly for someone whose arm was bleeding all over the rug.

Macnair quickly did as he was told and none too soon, for Fudge came strolling into the room.

"Lucius, it has been too long!" He cried out jovially. Perhaps if he carried himself well he could be invited to dinner and as I have previously stated before, free food is the meaning of life. Not to mention nookie and Fudge dearly hoped he could get some of that before he left. He went to go and hug the man but stopped short when his eyes fell upon Lucius' arm.

"My gawd, man! You're bleeding!"

Mr. Perception.

Lucius managed a thin smile. "Why yes, I am." He looked down at his arm then back up at Fudge. "Thank you for telling me, for I surely would have bled to death."

"But how.." Fudge's eyes trailed to Macnair and to his rodent necklace. "Did he.."

"No, he didn't. Lestrange did."

Fudge gasped and stepped backwards. "He didn't!"

"He did. The man escaped from Azkaban, apparently intending to do me some harm. He stormed into my mansion and tried to attack me."

"He didn't!"

"He did. He managed to cut me as you can see. Fortunately, I'm rather good at fisticuffs myself and while he held a knife, I was able to, ah, make short work of him."

"You didn't!"

"I did. I defenestrated him."

Fudge's eyes widened. Whatever Lucius just said, it sounded like it took a lot of work. "Where..where is he now?"

Lucius mentally rolled his eyes. "He's outside. Sprawling in Narcissa's watermelon patch."

"Dear lord...you managed to bring down a notorious fiend!"

Lucius had the decency to blush. "Oh, it was really nothing.."

"No, I'm impressed! You took down one of Voldemort's minions! And got injured in the process!"

"Well, it's now just a dull throbbing..."

"Nevertheless, I am convinced of your innocence and this should be enough to convince the others of your noble intentions. We are glad to have you on our side, Lucius."

"Glad to be there, Cornelius."

Fudge nodded, still dumbly amazed. "I suggest you bind that arm right away. Can't have you dying on us now."

And with that, Fudge took his leave, now holding his evidence for Lucius' innocence. All he had to do was pick up the body on his way out.

Macnair turned to Lucius who was putting a healing spell on his arm. "What are you going to do for a body?"

"Oh, he shall have it. Never you mind." Lucius replied. "Don't you have faith in me?"

Macnair wanted to have something else inside Lucius but he was wise enough not to point it out. "Of course."

"Good. Now, draw the curtains. I've had enough of this sunlight." Pale skin was ever so hard to take care of.

"But what about Lestrange?"

"Leave him out there. Maybe it'll do him some good."

Macnair nodded, needing to note something or blurt out a comment. And before he could do either, in came Lord Voldemort.

He had a habit of appearing at completely random times. Normally he was uninvited which Lucius thought of as rude but who was he to question the Dark Lord's movements?

Voldemort looked around as though searching for someone. "Where is Lestrange?"

Both Lucius and Macnair shrugged in unison which Voldemort wondered about.

Voldemort had changed slightly since Book Four. His apparenace had become slightly less scaly and after the makeover Lucius had given him, he looked almost like James Potter. Well, not the movie James Potter because that James Potter looked like "absolute shit" but the kind of James Potter one always reads about in James/Lucius fanfics. In fact, he looked so much like James, Lucius had once drawn a lightning bolt onto his forehead while he slept.

It was then blamed on Wormtail who got the stuffing beaten out of him the next day.

Ah, memories.

Voldemort turned suspicious eyes onto Lucius. His eyes were a pretty blue color thanks to the color contacts. And, as Lucius constantly said, blue was definitely his color.

"Blue is like the sky," he had told his Lord. "With the birds and the clouds.."

And then the author left to go play FFVII.

"You. Get out." Voldemort said, glaring at Macnair.

Macnair spared a glance at Lucius who shrugged before leaving. As soon as the door shut behind him, the Dark Lord, evil Master, Lord Voldemort, Tom Riddle, psychopath who wishes to rule the world, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, You Know Who turned to face Lucius.

"Where is Lestrange?" He asked again.

Now, it wasn't exactly of the most importance where Lestrange was. After all, the gibbering wreck of a man was quite useless to the Dark Lord, etc, etc. But Voldemort had taken some time to plan the break in at Azkaban, recruit the Dementors, and gotten out the Lestranges, and dammit if he wasn't going to lose someone now.

And he had the oddest feeling that Lucius knew where he was.

Maybe it was that innocent grin Lucius had plastered on his face. Or maybe it was that Lucius' robe was slit and his arm had just been recently healed.

Or maybe it was because Lucius was slowly inching towards the door while Voldemort was lost in his own thoughts.

With a quick spell of "Lockus Doorus" the door was, obviously, locked and Lucius stopped advancing upon it.

Voldemort moved quickly and was soon beside Lucius, holding him by the collar. "Where is Lestrange?"

"I have no idea, my Lord. Probably with his wife."

"I've already checked with her. No man in his right mind would be near her."

"My...Lord.." It was becoming difficult to breathe since Voldemort was gripping his throat. "He isn't exactly..in his..right mind.."

Voldemort's grip tightened. "He isn't with her." Lucius was turning a lovely shade of purple. "Where is he?"

Lucius couldn't answer even if he wanted to. With an angry growl, Voldemort released him, sending him falling to the floor. Clearly he wasn't going to get any answers out of his second in command this way. Which meant he could move into..different forms of interrogation. Ominous music entered here.

"You will answer my question, Lucius." Voldemort's voice became a deep purr. "One way or the other."

One clawed hand was holding Lucius by the throat, the other was stripping away at his robe and the fabric underneath.

Lucius struggled aginst the clawed grip. No one touched him without his EXPRESS permission. And...

Okay, to be completely honest he was enjoying himself. He didn't struggle all that much against his Lord's hand and almost helped the man disrobe him.

Once the clothes had been dealt with, Voldemort's eyes trailed down lazily to what had layed under the attire.

"It would seem that you're quite content like this." He removed the grip from Lucius' throat and smacked away Lucius' hands as the younger man tried to disrobe his Master.

"It's quite funny, isn't it, my friend?" He asked, trying to imitate Lucius' lazy drawl and failing miserably.

"What is?"

"Harry Potter slash. It's really quite amusing. I mean, the one thing people should be putting into the stories, the one thing that should be overused, has never really been used."

"And what is that, my Lord?" Lucius wanted to stop talking. Wanted oldemort to shut up and fuck him already.

And his Lord smirked.

And drew out his long, black, thick wand. "This."

Lucius whimpered.

Voldemort's eyes glinted dangerously as he gazed upon his captive. His silver hair had been let out of his usually well-kept ponytail and his gray eyes were glazed over with lust. His body was well built and muscled and blah, blah, blah, we all know what Lucius looks like. Moving right along.

Voldemort's hand slid down Lucius' thigh as he crawled between the man's legs. He rained kisses down the insides of Lucius' legs, slowly spreading them apart.

Normally he was not so gentle but he figured Lucius was entitled to something before the real fun could begin.

There would be no lube, no cum, only spit. Voldemort took his wand and licked the thick wood up and down, forcing Lucius to watch him. Lucius was panting like a dog but doing it ever so elegantly. His thoughts strayed to splinters and just how far was his Lord going to ram it into him?

Voldemort held his wand loosely and casually, slowly waving it around after making sure it was slick enough. "Still won't tell me where Lestrange is?" He asked, already knowing that Lucius wouldn't talk without further proding. And proding was exactly what he would get. He used his wand to lift up Lucius' chin. "I hope you don't talk. You've needed a good fucking for awhile. Someone to put you back into your place."

Lucius would be more than willing to put up with Voldemort's chatter if he would only get to the fucking. "I told you I don't know where he is. If you're going to screw me, then get it over with." Arrogance even when lying naked on the floor. Voldemort was slightly impressed.

And something cool, hard, and slick moved into Lucius. Something thicker than it should have been.

Lucius cried out as Voldemort shoved his wand in as far as it could go. It wasn't as thick as a cock, but the length obviously far exceeded the norm. It tore into him.

And Voldemort was far from merciful as he slammed the wand in harder and harder.

Lucius' hands dug into the floor, nails scraping across white marble. It was about time Lucius stained something, Voldemort thought with a grin. "You like this, don't you?"

Lucius wanted to curse, wanted to say something unpleasant but he couldn't wrap his voice around his words. All that came out was a few muffled groans as he arched into the movement of the wand. Voldemort felt the wand getting slicker, it slid more easily into him now. He twisted it around within him.

Lucius arched back, crying out to the heavens and Voldemort's grin increased and he pushed in harder until Lucius started to bleed. Neither of them noticed the redness spread out over the white tile, neither of them cared.

Voldemort continued in this manner, constantly twisting and pushing until Lucius was practically sobbing in pain and pleasure.

"You like this, don't you?" Voldemort repeated. "You've needed it for a damned long time. You do not." He shoved it in harder. "Fuck." Harder. "With me." Voldemort could hear the ripping tissue.

Lucius resisted the urge to touch himself. "I...I.."

Voldemort slowed down, moving his wand within Lucius. "Have I done enough yet? Or will it never be enough for you? I think all I've hurt is your dignity."

Lucius tried to level out his breathing. "No." It would never be enough and both of them knew that. Nothing Voldemort could ever say or do would be enough for him.

"How does this feel?" Voldemort slid his wand all the way out then back in again. "If you don't like it, I can stop."

Lucius moaned, thrusting up to meet the wand. "Don't..."

Voldemort continued thrusting his wand in and out of the man. "You can touch yourself now. I think you need some kind of release."

Lucius pressed back against the wand. He could feel the tip of it become warm against his inner flesh. The magic inside of the weapon burned against him. Almost vibrating with power.

And it felt damn good. His hand slid down to his now swollen member. His hands tightened around himself as he pushed his hips back. And again, keeping in time with the thrusting.

Voldemort watched him carefully. "Take what you need." His voice was a deep hiss as he slid his palm along his wand, now warm and wet with the precum that had dripped down onto it. He held it in place for Lucius to rock himself onto.

Lucius trembled as he approached orgasm, his head thrown back as Voldemort allowed him control.

"Ah...oh yes...AHHHH" He let out a scream as hot white liquid spilled out of him, onto his hands and Voldemort's wand. His body was shaking with the exertion and spots danced before his eyes.

Voldemort slowly eased out his wand after pressing the tip into him several times, just to make Lucius cry out.

As Lucius regained his sight and the rushing sound died down within his ears, Voldemort took the time to undress himself. His wand was placed carefully within the folds of his cloak and he made a mental note to clean it off later.

It was then that he noticed the blood that now stained the marble. He was careful not to slip in it as he positioned himself again between Lucius' legs.

There were no kisses, no foreplay, nothing that could be deemed as too submissive. There was only the fucking. The hard-core, rip up your arsehole, gonna screw you till you leak, fucking. That's how it always was between them and neither would have it be otherwise.

Voldemort wasted no time in ramming himself into Lucius. The blood allowed his entry to be quick but the muscles were still tight around him.

"Quite a pleasant sensation."

Lucius simply groaned. The wand fucking had hurt and his Master was smashing against all the parts where the wand had not.

Voldemort didn't allow Lucius to get used to the feel of his cock in his ass. The thrusting began and moved to a fast pace all too soon. The sound of balls against ass was as loud as a whip cracking and Voldemort dug his clawed hands into Lucius' waist to keep the other man from bucking too hard against him. He wanted to be in complete control.

The sounds of fucking were nearly drowned out by Voldemort's harsh words.

"You like that, don't you? You like it rough and hard."

"Scream for me, Lucius. Scream loudly!"

"You've needed this for a long time."

Lucius could only writhe in pleasure on the cold stone floor as his blood continued to leak out. He screamed obligingly and allowed a few stray tears to fall from his eyes. Voldemort liked it when he cried. A hand wrapped around Lucius' member and stroked hard in time to the thrusts.

Lucius cried out when the hand touched him. The hand was cold and made him want to shiver if only his body would allow him that. As it were, he was too busy arching into Voldemort to do anything else. The claws on his waist drew blood and left gashes. Lucius didn't care. His mind was solely focused on what his Lord was doing to him.

Voldemort thrusted harder, loving the feel of the ripped tissue against himself. With each shove inwards, Lucius nearly screamed and that drove Voldemort on more than any tightness ever could. With the hand on his member continuously squeezing and jerking, Lucius felt himself approach orgasm. He wanted release from all this, needed it, craved it.

A smack across the face jolted him back to painful reality.

Voldemort was glaring at him. "I know you're not going to come until I've already done so."

And so it went. Lucius holding back his ecstasy, the need becoming more and more painful by the second. His hands dug into his hair. This was torture! He wanted to scream.

Voldemort kept an eye trained onto the man as he slammed into the younger body.

It seemed like an hour before the reptilian lord finally came, his seed coating the inner walls of Lucius' arse and slowly leaking out. Lucius felt the sensation and had to bite down a choked scream as he came onto himself and Voldemort. The orgasm pained him due to the abuse his cock had suffered under the Dark Lord's hand, but Lucius didn't mind. He was grateful only for the release.

Voldemort's semen burned inside of him as it hit against the bleeding wounds. And as his Master withdrew from him, some more of his cum leaked out, hitting the floor and blending in with the red blood, creating a new type of pink liquid.

It took only a few seconds for Voldemort to redress himself. "Where is Lestrange, Lucius?" He asked, pleasantly enough.

Lucius still lay upon the floor, head reeling of the intense pleasure he had just received. "He's outside. On the balcony."

His Master grinned ferally. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

While Voldemort went over to the window, Lucius slowly sat up. His arse hurt, his cock hurt, his waist hurt. But he found he couldn't care less about the pain.

He had done what needed to be done.

Voldemort peered outside. "So he's been hearing us all this time. Should be interesting to see his reaction. The hell..?"

Lucius let out a sharp laugh. Lestrange hasn't been hearing anything at all for quite some time. "There is no balcony." And he continued laughing, nearing hysterics. Like Crouch, Lestrange had been dealt with. No one came between him and his Master and Lestrange, through all his insanity, had been one of Voldemort's finest.

The Dark Lord watched as Fudge and another Ministry official carted the body off of Narcissa's watermelon patch before turning back to his hysterical second-in-command.