THE RECAPS
STORMSEEKER.COM RECAPS! Reality writer Chico Alexander provides
recaps of each show.
April 7, 2004 April 14, 2004 April 21, 2004 April 28, 2004
Okay, GSNN-R quiz time. Hands on signals, no conferring. What do you get when you put "Extreme Makeover" and the Miss America Pageant in a blender and set said blender to kill? For the answer, read on.
You've seen the commercials earlier in the TV season during "Family Feud", another FremantleMedia production. Now, the results of said search begin, as sixteen ugly ducklings will be worked and disciplined like crazy for the chance, not unlike a character out of Hans Christian Andersen, to be named "The Swan". Some will make it through to the end. Others will not. But all will be transformed forever. What a pitch. Really.
Rules are simple. For three months, a team of trainers, beauty consultants, and plastic surgeons will transform two women a week. And for those three months, there are no mirrors. AT ALL. After that, the team will discuss which of the two will be judged beautiful enough to move onto the finale... a beauty pageant. Seems logical enough. Overseeing everything is Amanda Byram, who, if you recall, was proprietor over last summer's "Paradise Hotel." New rule at Fox, in order to be a reality show host, you have to be a) British/Irish, b) a woman, and c) a British/Irish woman. She reminds us that two women will go head to head in pursuit of a dream come true, to be named a beauty queen. After all, isn't that was the American dream is all about? Reaching goals through hard work and sacrifice?
Anyway, let's meet tonight's ducklings. First up, Kelly Alemi from Abingdon, MD. She has no idea that she's been selected, and she's crying like all heck about it. Kelly's a flight attendant who would like to look in the mirror and be happy with what she sees. Patricia, Kelly's mom, always thought she was down, and for good reason (we think), as she was always looked down upon and spat at. One thing she does have going for her, a boyfriend (Bob) who loves her for who she is. "Bob and I have been intimate for about seven or eight times in the last three years." Okay, enough about your sex life... or in this case, absence thereof.
But what do the panelists see? They see a cute little girl with a lot of potential. A boob job here, a little liposuction there... and there... and there, some physical training, collagen injections, cosmetic teeth whitening, and an endobrow lift whatever the heck that is, we may yet have something. "We're ready to Swan her," says one of the experts, Dr. Terry J. Dubrow (a plastic surgeon). They'll be Swan-ing her with some face work (apart from the previously mentioned, photo facial, microdermabrasion, laser hair removal, and Lasik) and a fitness regimen of 1200 calories a day, cardio twice daily, weight training, therapy, and coaching.
She could make the final, but not if Rachel Lafrasier, a construction clerk from Semamish, WA, has anything to say about it. Like Kelly, she has no idea what's in store for her. She's a cat person who wants to take care of her profile and her "chunks". And speaking of her chunks, husband Mike says, flat out, "She's a little average." It gets worse, as her father Tony says that she's "a female copy of me" and that in the third grade, he told teachers not to expect too much out of her. Aww, be kind. But when she's happy, she's a cute person. She wants to make a difference...
... and a difference will be made away from the father, says Dr. Lynn Ianni (therapist). The plastic surgeons, Dr. Dubrow and Dr. Randal D. Haworth, think this one's a toughie, but decide on working the nostrils, eyes, breasts, and all the excess body fat. Greg Comeaux (trainer) thinks she'll need a lot of cardio on the stair climber. Life coach Nely Galan (who, aside from creating the show, was co-host of "Storm the Castle", an American translation of "Takeshi's Castle" before it was reedited into MXC) wants to be informed of the progress. Dr. Sherri Worth (dentist) wants to reconstruct the teeth so they close.
There are your two plain Janes. Time to sexify. Rachel and Kelly arrive in LA on day 1 of the program to the primary rule. "There's no mirror!" They each receive a note telling them of their pending life-altering transformation, and that the program begins now. I'd be scared, too.
Kelly's initial consult with Dr. Dubrow: "She's clearly going to need a lot of body work and major liposuction. But enhancing her facial features and really defining her face could be the ticket to getting her into the pageant." They also go into the breast implants.
Rachel's initial consult with Dr. Haworth: "The key to getting Rachel to the pageant is to bring out her femininity. It's going to take a lot of work." They focus on nostrils, lip injection, and liposuction. Initial consult with Dr. Worth: "Rachel was super excited to be here. She has kind of a tough situation. Once we bring those teeth down and kinda bring them back into her face again, she'll look beautiful." Good for her, but bad for Kelly, as we see in her initial consult with Dr. Worth, whom she's dreading despite the fact that they've never even met yet. The good doctor sedates her before the cleaning, filling, and prepping for veneers. And if anyone knows what a veneer is, I'd like to find out.
Next up: the weigh-in. Kelly's at 159, but she'd like to drop 39 to a solid 120. "Thirty-nine pounds is a lot of weight to ask for," Greg says, even after surgery. They work on the arms and abs, the weight machine and the treadmill, the joy and the pain.
And speaking of pain, Rachel just found out that she tips the scales at a projectile-vomit-inducing 190. Her goal is 145. In three months, you're talking suicide. That night, Rachel and Kelly have one more walk on the pier before they are separated for three months.
Day 2, and Rachel's being marked for surgery. She thinks it's weird to see herself with lines drawn over her face. Okay, we had one mirror, but I swear that's it. "It's a nice memory." Next time she sees herself, she's not going to look like the person she remembers. Presumably. She makes a quick call to her husband, who doesn't answer. Oh boy. Cowboy U all over again.
Dr. Haworth is prepped for surgery, and since it's a long process and we only have an hour, we time lapse through to the nose, which is hard because of her skeletal features. "I can make improvements, but there are no guarantees when it comes to plastic surgery." But Rachel's in high spirits now. But what about Kelly? She's frightened that her loved ones aren't there to watch, but Bob is one call away ("and you is my baby!"). She shows Dr. Dubrow a stick figure drawing that her friends made as a road map/dedication to what should be done, but if you honestly want to look like a stick figure, then you have some serious issues in the head.
He starts with liposuction and her breasts, following up with her face. First up, her butt. "Ah. That would be Gerry... So Gerry, this butt's for you." Next is the breast area and... "Whoa, baby! Those look awesome!" Of course we can't see them. F'in FCC. But will Kelly be able to handle them? Emotionally? He says that some patients go into depression right after surgery, and that Kelly is at a high risk for that.
Now, we said that they would be transformed at the end of three months, but we didn't say that it was going to be easy. Nely's concerned about Kelly's attitude. She'd been depressed afterwards. That prompts her and Dr. Dubrow to make a house call. She really has to bear down if she wants to make it to the end.
But that's chicken and beer compared to what Rachel's going through. Sure, she's in high spirits, but Mike's not exactly Mr. Supportive. "It's going to seriously piss me off if he doesn't answer this phone today." But he does answer the phone (eventually). Rachel rants about not getting any support. Mike rants about his endless cycle of work and sleep. "It's the first time he has to take hardly any frickin' responsibility in our whole entire lives together, which is going on five years now. I've taken care of everything. The least he can do is just sit there and talk to me for ten minutes."
And she brings that baggage to therapy with her, as Dr. Ianni notes. She lets it all out in the open, which is good if she is to transform her inner Rachel. Meanwhile, Kelly's inner Kelly still has Dr. Dubrow worried about her outer Kelly. But she's down with the upswing once she discovers her missing turkey gizzard and her new boobies. But at her weigh in, she discovers that she's actually gained a fifth of a pound worrying herself to death. "My boobs do not weigh eight pounds!" Maybe not, but you might have to take off your shoes, you dimwit. She goes even as far as to use the scale to measure her chest. And how one can do that is beyond me.
In physical training, Rachel's giving it her all. Kelly would be devastated if she doesn't get into the pageant. Jumpstarted by the surgeries, Rachel only has 20 pounds more to lose (owed to science, genetics, and a little luck), while Kelly still has 35. Advantage: Rachel. And they still have one month to go.
Fastforward one month. And the reveal. Remember, they haven't seen themselves in three months, so we will be seeing the new bodies as they are... well, a little before hand, anyway. We cue on the experts, as we prepare to see Rachel for the first time. She came in at 190, and Nely and Dr. Haworth have nothing but praise for their (and Rachel's) work. We see her three months ago... and then we see her now. And then she sees herself now in a mirror concealed by a draw curtain. Quote my good friend Doug Morris... "Yeowza". What a job. Got rid of the whole crooked nose and everything. Amanda tells her that she looks absolutely unbelievable. She walks up to the mirror as it is drawn open, as she is drawn into laughter and tears, all at the same time. "Boy, this is going to take a little getting used to." The average girl just became... well, far from average. She thinks that her husband's going to be "absolutely positively stunned."
Okay, we've seen Rachel. Now let's look at Kelly, who, truth be told, is a basket case. Dr. Dubrow's main challenge about her depression was overcome, as Greg notes that while she didn't meet her goals per se, she did gain a lot of self-confidence. Three months ago: a spitting target. Today... a spitting image of Monroe? Well, not exactly, but better than what we started with. I would've done a face lift as well, but, yeah. Anyway, Amanda asks her what she did with Kelly. Kelly transformed herself from the inside out, which explains why she didn't really meet her fitness goal (if you recall, the inside part was a long battle in and of itself). Kelly asks that Amanda go with her to the mirror, but Amanda has to reminder that this step she must take on her own. And so she does. Eventually. She breaks down into tears and asks if that's her. "I look beautiful. It's not like one of those fake mirrors that make you look skinnier or prettier." No, only a few pints of Jagermeister will do that. In the end, she believes it was all worth it.
But was it enough? I mean, as amazing as the transformations are, this is a competition (otherwise, it would be on another site somewhere), and only one of these Cinderellas will be judges as fair enough to go to the big dance, per the experts. The ladies reunite in the foyer, and let it not be said that Fox doesn't know how to drum up a theme song. Both Kelly and Rachel have been judged on beauty, poise, and overall transformation. And for the first time, we see just how much weight is carried with being the Swan: hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and prizes. Because after all, it's not the power, but the reward, right?
The first person through to the Swan pageant is... Rachel Lafrasier! Kelly congratulates her, as Dr. Dubrow is disappointed by her wanton lack of "taking it to the next level." It's all about that next level, after all. Nely says that Rachel won because she "surrendered to transformation in the most incredible way." Gee, that's putting it bluntly.
Amanda says goodbye to Kelly, as she has one last surprise in store... It's Bob! Hi, Bob! "She... she's gorgeous." They embrace, and... Okay, you two, get a room. And we're not done yet, because we also brought in her family. "I think the cocoon has finally broken and the butterfly has been set free," Patricia says. Gee, how sentimentally Hallmark. Actually, you want to talk about Hallmark, here's Kelly: "I could never ask for anything more, and I want to tell everyone in the world that if they have a dream to follow it, and things do happen for a reason, and that dreams come true."
All this and no Mike. Almost seems hollow. Anyway, the next time we see Rachel will be at the pageant. But right now, we look to Monday's show, where two more duckies will try and waddle their way to "the most unusual pageant ever devised."
And let it not be said that Fox doesn't know how to string together a tagline either. See you soon!
After one week, two transformations, and one person, Rachel Lafrasier, in the pageant final, it looks like the team of Fox and FremantleMedia may yet have another winner on their hands.
And speaking of winners, could one of tonight's two be one? First up, the dream team views up Kristy Garza of Ft. Irwin, CA. She's not happy with who she is on the outside, and remembers of how her mother didn't want her father around. She wanted a father figure, so she joined the Army. Her husband's in the Marines, and he's only used the word "beautiful" twice. Oh yeah, and she's sick of being the funny girl. Hey, there's nothing wrong with the funny. But apparently there is, so the dream team put her on a regimen of nose job, fat transfer to her lips, a brow and midface lift, laser treatment, dermatologist visits, breast augmentation, seven areas of liposuction, zoom teeth bleaching and deep cleaning, DaVinci veneers, the 1200-calorie diet, 120 hours in the gym, and therapy/coaching.
But will her transformation outdo that of Cristina Tyree of Rancho Cordoba, CA? She's an office manager who emigrated from Ecuador. She kept miscarriaging with her husband. But when she finally did have the kid, it left a lot of space that needed to be filled. Bad if you're into belly dancing. *watching her belly dance in her current position* Oh my. Said insecurities are really taking a toll on her marriage to Daniel, even bringing up the "D" word. Dr. Dubrow brings up the "T" word... tummy tuck. Okay, so that's two words, but it'll fix that roll she has. That - and a face lift, nose job, liposuction, collagen, lasik, breast augmentation, teeth bleaching, veneers, gum recontouring, standard fitness protocol, therapy, and coaching - should also go a long way in correcting her little malforms.
First day and Cristina's looking forward to the belly dancing body she's always wanted. Kristy just wants to attack the program head on. Both surgicals will be performed by Dr. Dubrow, and both women will not see their families until the final reveal three months on.
Cristina's initial consult: "Cristina needs a lot of procedures, but she's a young woman and I think she'll recover from them quite easily." We found out that when she dances, she shakes. Oh my. This calls for a tummy tuck. Also, she is plotted for a nose job to correct her hump, and a breast aug to inflate her chest region, improving ... well, something.
Kristy: "Kristy's main goal is to look more feminine. She feels masculine inside, and she feels that she looks masculine outside, and she wants to change that." Best place to start... her breasts, where Kristy wants to go whole hog (and by that, I mean "full D"). Also in store, a CO2 laser to correct her acne.
Also, Dr. Worth takes on both dental procedures. Of Kristy: "She'll need at least 15 hours in the chair if she wants her smile to be ready for the pageant." She wants her teeth to be bling-bling, but that would only happen if your name was "Li'l Jon".
And for Cristina: "Cristina hasn't taken the best care of her teeth, but her dental transformation should be a little easier than Kristy's. She's going to be one of the most dramatic transformations... toothwise, at least." Hope she's telling the tooth. Okay, that was lame.
That night, Cristina is forced to weigh in... on her marital woes. "I think that my husband can do better without me. And it would be best for us to go in different directions." That's not how Dan (the husband) sees it, as he hopes for the confidence in her to see that he's happy to be with her. They talk on the phone (with her son Alex) about someone named Edward. I hope it's a dog.
Kristy now needs support from her husband... But Cpl. Garza is nowhere in sight. She says it's not a problem, but the editing tells us otherwise. Again. While Dr. Dubrow is marking her, he points out that her recovery should be smooth as she understands that she has a plan and she has to stick to it. A nose, two breasts, and a laser resurfacing later, she's ready to go to a club... with a spandex canary-yellow suit and some go-go boots. Talk about a quick recovery.
Meanwhile, Cristina uses her belly dancing wardrobe as a guide for Dr. Dubrow. Time for surgery, and Alex is close by in convenient picture form. And leave it to a man to start with the breasts. Next up, the tummy tuck and the nose. "This is one of the most extensive tummy tucks I've performed and I'm really worried about Cristina." Good reason to be, as she's now incredibly stitched from head to... tummy. She clearly had no idea what she was up against. "I gotta pack, I have to go, I have to get out of here!"
Again, she got what she wanted, but it wasn't going to be easy. Luckily there's inner courage that suddenly resurfaces within a few days (which is normal, according to the good doctor). And speaking of the agony and the ecstasy, Kristy just jumped from the other spectrum's end. Five days later, the scars on Kristy's face are pushing her to a breaking point, wanting her to go back and erase what's been done.
Meanwhile, Cristina has a surprise waiting for her on the TV. It's Dan and Alex with a video message. Three months is a long time, but she hopes to combat it. Kristy finally managed to dig deep and find the good things about the long road head with therapy. Dr. Ianni tells her that she functions like a single parent, especially after saying "my daughter" instead of "our daughter." Afterwards, Kristy's mind turns to one thing... REVENGE! Hitting the gym afterwards.
Cristina needs to hit the gym a little more, though, as she finds out that she actually gained 1.4 pounds during her stay. Goal weight: 115. Right now: "Close to 130." Upon looking at Nely's file, we find out that a) this was shot around March, and b) that she ordered ice cream and full fat yogurts. BIG uh-oh. Obviously, this is where Nely plays the role of tough love mother figure. Worry not, as no floggings with a wet noodle ensued.
And we still have a month of revenge tactics and sacrifice to go. Kristy needs to lose 20 pounds. Cristina needs a bounceback.
Back at Swan HQ, it's been a month since we've seen them. First at the gate, Kristy, who was able to complete her program with her military background, relatively scar free. Unless you count her face. But that's not a problem now, as we see for the first time, the tomboy grew a set of curves... and kept her tattoo. Still a bit on the huggable side, but nice turnaround. Her initial reaction after the Mirror of Fate (copyright 2004 Chico Alexander) reveal... and five more seconds: "No way. That's me? (noticing curves) Whoa, that's me, too!" After a fit of hysterics, Kristy just asks someone to pinch her. "Harder!"
But is Cristina's up to par after a pint of Edy's (or Dreyer's if you live in that part of the country)? The belly of the belly dancer had to be resculpted, as did her self-confidence. End result, the door opens and... SWEET JEEBUS! Talk about a comeback! She came for the American dream 27 years ago, and did she get it. Get this woman to the Mirror of Fate! Quickly! "Oh my God! I'm so beautiful!" Again, after the hysterics, she starts thanking everyone, including her dress. "I'm in love with myself!" she says. "So you should be!" Amanda replies.
Not an obstacle in her path that stood a chance, big points in the overall transformation department, but are they big enough? Both draw on the poise and the beauty, but who'll take their game to the pageant? Through to the Swan pageant at the end of the series is... Cristina Tyree! When it all came down, Kristy's physical transformation was far less complete than that of her opponent. But it's time to leave her to go back and face her husband ... or at least have her husband face her. That was quick. While baby Teagan's going "Where's mommy?"
Happier ending than last week, I must say. Next time we see Cristina will be at the pageant. Who will join her? The search for the Swan continues next week, and I can just say that the people to follow have QUITE a task ahead of them. After all, this is still a competition.
If you saw the promos, you know that there's someone that the Swan team might not be able to help straight away. More in a bit.
And here's the bit. Cindy Ingall is a mom from San Diego. You know the deal by now, shy growing up, always "the witch", cry cry cry, husband thinks she's beautiful inside and out. And then there's the facial hair. Shocking as it may seem, it's actually one of the more common hormone imbalances a woman can have. She uses a razor every day to take care of that, but how else would you turn her from "blah" to "chick-a-bam?" Well, she has a nose that baffles both Drs. Dubrow and Haworth. But that's not going to stop them from trying. She gets a nose job, face lift, fat removal, lip augmentation, liposuction, chin refinement, fotofacial, laser hair removal, collagen, and Lasik. And that's just her face. We also give her the breast augs, lipo, tummy tuck, and standard wellness protocol.
Oh yeah, and "I miss my family so much", cry cry.
Second egret of the day is Tawnya Cook of Guymon, CO. The last three years have not been kind to her. Her brother passed away with his kids watching. Her husband left for active duty in the navy. He asked for a divorce. She was laid off. And she looks like an old lady. If she looked more like her daughter Kaleah, then she may not need this show. Unfortunately, she's single and 40. That leaves us with the prospect of a nose job, a face lift, fat removal under the eyes, lip augs, botox, collagen, a fotofacial, tummy tuck, three liposuctions, teeth whitening, full veneers, gum surgery, deep periodontal cleaning, and a non-SWP - balanced diet, cardio, weight training six days a week, boatloads of therapy, and coaching.
So we have one physical case and one mental case. Both cases head to the mirrorless Swan mansion/apartment complex looking... thing. Dr. Haworth, after a week on the sidelines, heads to Cindy's forefront (and we're not just talking about her whitchy-poo nose). Her initial consult: "Sharp facial features including her nose and her long chin need to be softened. And motherhood has taken a real toll on her body." Nipple lift and breast implants = easy. Nose job = hard.
Tawnya's initial consult with Dr. Dubrow: "It's a scalpel, not a magic wand, but sometimes, it does magic. And that's what I think Tawnya will do, magic." So that line didn't have to do with Cindy's face... DAMN YOU, FOX PROMO DEPARTMENT! Basically, Dr. Dubrow loves what he sees... and he'll love it even more when it's done. If he gets to do it at all. She's the oldest Swannabe (patent pending), yet she doesn't want the face lift. Dude... listen to the doctor. He knows.
Cindy stops off at the dermatologist for the hair removal. Dr. Debra Luftman goes for the hairline and cheek first. Meanwhile, Dr. Worth reshapes Tawnya's teeth with temporary veneers before putting the permanents on later.
And this is all in the first week. Eleven more to go.
The night before surgery, Cindy calls her precious dinky-dink at home (her precious winky-dink is at sea with the Navy). She misses them both. Next day, it's nose time. Dr. Haworth knows he's in for quite the challenge, so he saves that for later in the 10-hour procedure. First off, the body. That was quick. Now the nose. First, he rebuilds the cartilage by borrowing some from her ear. However rare the operation is, he gets it done, and now, it's all on Cindy. She's ready to win. Or so she says.
The day before Tawnya's surgery, her daughters send video greetings. But just as Tawnya's spirits are lifted... tragedy strikes again. Kaleah has been in a nasty car wreck. Natually, she's fearful of the worst, especially after losing her brother. Thankfully, Kaleah is able to talk to Tawnya. She flew off a mountain, and her car is totaled. Tawnya wants to go home, but Kaleah tells her to stay. And everyone is hoping for a full recovery, recapper included.
Minutes before surgery, Dr. Dubrow gets some surprising news: Tawnya has decided against removing the bump on her nose (her daughters have the same nose). Disappointed, but eager to proceed, Dr. Dubrow changes the play to a tip refinement. He'll start with a successful tummy tuck, then he goes for the tip refinement. Not the play he wanted, but it gets the job done that much quicker.
On the other hand, Cindy's transformation is more extensive, and she's finding it extremely hard to go it alone. Mail helps, but it's no substitute for another person.
Enter another person. Nely visits Tawnya first, concerned about the turndown. Tawnya tells her that she'd freak if she didn't see part of herself in the mirror that she can't see herself in for another month or two. Good for her. Nice inner beauty, being satisfied with what she can't see just yet.
Cindy focuses more on her recovery seven days after the rhinoplasty. To hear Dr. Haworth say that she's beautiful makes her feel beautiful. But there's the issue of the bandage on her nose. Oh well. She keeps on with a positive attitude, while Tawnya tries to let go of her past in therapy. She keeps talking about hitting somebody, and Dr. Ianni suggests taking it out in the gym with Greg. Greg had better hide. Fourteen minutes for fourteen years of frustration, yeah, I'd hit pretty hard, too. Like, "Yeah, I'm Tawnya Cook, bitch."
So we have one person willing to take everything in stride, and one person who is forcing everyone on the Swan team to play the ball where it lies. Which approach will work in the end? Let's go to the end, shall we?
The Swan team reconvenes with Amanda at Swan HQ. Dr. Haworth is surprised by the way everything came into place, as is Dr. Luftman. We're about to see if it all came into place, because it's time for the reveal. Enter the new Cindy Ingall. She definitely looks like someone with a face lift, and the nose is corrected to a point smaller than her original. Not that small, but smaller than the original. But what will Cindy see and think? Mirror of Fate, reveal!
Cry cry cry. "Oh, wow!" That says it all, really. No more blah.
So far, I think she's the favorite tonight. But we still haven't seen Tawnya yet. Dr. Ianni told Amanda about the stress she'd born within three years' time. She doesn't mention how she got rid of it, though. Probably a good thing. Dr Dubrow's still pissed that she didn't get the surgery he wanted, but I guess that's just something he has to live with. Enough talk, time to bring out the new Tawnya Cook... which looks like the old Tawnya Cook in fancier wrapping and extra packing peanuts. Nice smile, though. She says she feels different, but does she? Mirror of Fate, reveal!
"I love it! I look so much younger!"
But is it young enough for the experts? Yeah, in all the drama of the show, especially tonight's ep, it's easy to forget that this is a competition. And it looks to me like a one-sided one tonight. Both Cindy and Tawnya have been judged on control, style, damage, and aggression. My money personally, is on Cindy. Both draw on mental and poise, but taking the physical and the ticket to the Swan pageant is... Cindy Ingall! Dr. Haworth thinks it had more to do with her spirit and heart than anything else. Tawnya's pleased for Cindy, but disappointed in herself. Not too much, as she sees Lacia and a very-healthy Kaleah walk into the foyer. Kaleah said she looks like a Barbie doll. The rest of the family follows suit. Cry cry cry.
And bye bye bye for this week, as next time we see Cindy will be at the pageant.
First off, my impersonation of Special Ed on "The Swan"... "I'm gonna be a Swan! YAAAAAY!"
Sorry, had to get that in.
Anyway, women. We have two. In an hour, we'll have one. She'll come back later. You know the score by now. First up, Beth May of Milton, WA, a mother who wants to focus on herself for a change. Her child, aside from years of joy, has given her stretch marks and an abnormal belly button. That's probably why she has issues being intimate with the husband, but did she ever think it would lead to infidelity? Well, through it all, she stood by her Dan, even though he fears that this change will change that. Well, she's already pretty attractive, I think. In a geeky sorta way. Her plan includes an endobrow lift, nose job, FATMA lip enhancement, chin liposuction, lasik, breast augs, tummy tuck, liposuction of her calves and ankles, teeth whitening, veneers, gum surgery, lower orthodontics, deep periodontal cleaning, and SWP.
Woman #2: Kathy Rickers, a 27-year-old from Lake Villa, IL. She was the stereoptypically angsty kid in high school. Her father was a real support to her, and when he died, it was a void. Boyfriend helps. School, setbacks, and detours don't. She still sees an awkward 16-year-old. Today, we'll see an awkward 16-year-old with an endobrow lift, nose job, FATMA lip enhancement, fat injection under eyes and removal from cheeks, chemical peel, fotofacial, collagen, laser hair removal, lasik, breast augs, six liposuctions, teeth whitening, veneers, deep periodontal cleaning, and SWP.
We have our two women. Let's head to the mansion where Kathy doesn't want to be teased anymore while Beth tries to overcome her marital woes. But enough about day 1. Let's go to Dr. Haworth's initial consult with Kathy. "Kathy is actually a beautiful woman underneath all the, dare I say, less beautiful features. I'm here as a miner trying to excavate that." They start with the nose, obviously. From there, they go to the breasts (nipple lift), which of course, they can't show on TV. Well, not in this country anyway.
Beth's initial consult with Dr. Dubrow: They go over the tummy tuck, breast implants, leg procedures, and lip enhancements that Dr. Haworth will be performing. No one Swannabe ever had to go through TWO plastic surgeons before...
From the surgery we go to Jenny Craig for the weigh-ins. Kathy's first, and she totals at 148, meaning that we're looking for 28 pounds in three months. She's never stuck by her goals before. Well, she's never had free time, a nutritionist, or a trainer before either. Beth, on the other hand, heads to the dentist's, as Dr. Worth describes her plans.
Kathy's off to surgery later, as she is nervous about "what if." They start with her lipos, which go over quickly. Her nose also goes over well, but where she'll win or lose today is in the diet and exercise.
Next day, and Beth is thinking about her husband going into the surgery. Drs. Dubrow and Haworth go into tag team mode. Beth calls home to Mom, and things don't go over too well. Mom didn't get some position, and Dad got booted from his position, making Beth a bit upset. That doesn't stop her from going into her surgery, though. Biggest challenge: the calves. The docs go into it comparing lipo needle sizes. You want to know what the male preoccupation is with size? Now you know.
We're done, while both ladies are struggling post-surgery. Kathy's tired, and contemplating quitting. Beth's face hurts. Dr. Haworth is concerned that she won't heal in time. And she feels like crap. She's starting to miss her little boys.
Kathy keeps calling home looking for support and/or a reason to leave. Beth calls her husband, who admits that he'd left a huge "scar on her heart". Dr. Ianni shoulders all of her torment in therapy. "Beth is at the point now where she has to forgive her husband or move on." The classic question: forgive or forget. There's the rub.
Kathy's big obstacle... weighty issues. She's actually gained a few pounds after losing, oh, three. Time to bring in tough love expert Nely. She's only lost 10 pounds. That and the dress help Nely make her point clear.
Beth, on the other hand, goes in for lasik to get rid of her glasses. The surgery's a success, but we still have a long way to go at the one-month-to-go mark.Kathy still needs to lose 20 pounds, while Beth still has 13 pounds, a hard decision, and some serious healing to overcome.
The Swan team reconvenes with Amanda at Swan HQ. Beth needed to discover her independence, and Dr. Ianni notes significant progress in therapy. If you remember, the surgery was done by both docs, and had taken some serious time to get over. Serious time had passed. And here she is... Yeah, this would be the transformation you'd have to see to believe. She'd found a deeper love for her husband as she progresses toward the Mirror of Fate for her reveal...
That high-pitched noise was her squealing. "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I look so beautiful. Oh my..." If you say gosh, I'll fricking lose it. But nevertheless, the most amazing transformation I've seen.
But more amazing than Kathy's? Kathy was teased because of her nose. Taken care of. Kathy considered herself a quitter. Taken care of that. End result... a punk rocker goth biker? Hell yeah! But will she see an awkward-16-year-old in the Mirror of Fate? This day and age? Probably.
"It's me?" Yep. "I just want to say thank you everybody." She feels comfortable in her skin.
But who makes it to the pageant? Remember, both women have been judged on 10 points taste, 5 points originality, and 5 points presentation. My money's on the tall one, Beth. The next person in the pageant is...
Stretching...
Thinning...
Beth Lay. She just worked hard on every aspect. Kathy was a risk taker and a wow story, as Nely put it, but apparently, it wasn't enough. But before we send her on her way, let's give her one more shock. Here's David, who was just "wow'. They miss each other. Yeah, we get it. Let's turn out the lights and call it a day, as we bring in the rest of the family.
Next we see Beth will be at the pageant at the end of the series. We're halfway home. More of the same next week.
