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For 39 days, 16 castaways were stranded in Asia.  Every 3 days on the island became a 1-hour show.  The first contestant eliminated pockets $2500.  Each successive eliminated contestant wins more money, through the next-to-last Survivor, who receives $100,000.  The final Survivor wins a million dollars!

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Night 24: You know it's bad when...

You know it's bad when you trust everyone, even though you know you can't, and start talking to your wife. And she's in another country. Enter Rupert, who's holding a not-so-silent vigil for his wife Laura. "I am the best damn Survivor that has ever been!" No you're not! That honor goes to Robarino, my friend!

Just my humble opinion.

Day 25: How to break an alliance?

Alliance to be broken: Rupert, Sandra, and Christa. Breakers: Jon and Burton... over a water fetch. "Honestly, Rupert and Christa are making me sick with their baby baby bee bee bee bee." Hey, wasn't there a song that went like that? Anyway, the plan is to join up with T and D. But Jonny Fairplay is at an impasse in his head. Does he team up with Burton, D, T, and the incredulously na�ve Lill, or does he stay in cahoots with Hagrid, Sandra, and Baby Beebee? "If the bases are loaded and everyone's saying 'bunt', screw you, man, I'm hitting a grand slam!" Well, at least we know what Jon's plan is.

Jon and Burton take the window of fishing time to offer up alliance with T and Darrah. Because they were Morgan and subject to Pagonging by the former Drakes, needless to say, they jump at the offer. "They can't believe that Rupert's going home," Burton notes. "The game's about to take a serious, serious change". And then Darrah chimes in with something about being down in the dumps, and that's all we hear of her.

Meanwhile, Rupert tries to kill a fish before he eats it. Because no one likes to eat live fish. Unless it's a frat thing. "I never give up. I never surrender. I never admit defeat." He also never caught a fish from what I saw. Oh well. At least he still has wonder spear. And if I were Rupert, if I was voted out this round, I'd take it home with me.

But Burnett wouldn't let me, so onto some sea-mail:
Morgan, Drake and Balboa, in their shadows you'll compete.
Not for gold or silver, but a reward just as sweet.
From poop deck to the crow's nest, just as fast as you please,
Be the best swabbie you can be for an adventure on the seas.

R-CHALLENGE: Rats in the Rigging (for pizza, beer, and a catamaran fishing trip for keeps)

Four teams of two compete on a pirate ship obstacle course to be held in three heats, consisting of various climbs and slides. The last heat also has bells to collect and a puzzle to solve. First player to do that wins. Rupert hopes that it's Burton, because they "agreed" to share the reward. In the end, it comes down to Rupert/Jon versus Burton/Lill. After a tasteful glimpse of his ass, the last heat comes down to bare wits as Burton and Lill put together their Jolly Roger puzzle for a jolly good reward. As winners, they can keep the prize or pass it to someone else. Lill keeps her and is quite vocal about it. Burton passes his reward onto Jonny Fairplay, and is not too vocal about it.

But why did Burton wench out on his deal with Rupert? Simple. "I didn't want him to have any more food than he can. Tomorrow's immunity challenge, I want him to be tired, weak, injured, hobbling around. I wanna smoke him!" What does Rupe think of it? "It stinks of rotten death." Lill smells it as well, and cries to the camera about being a bitch. "I should've sent Rupert on this, and I didn't." She then cries to Jon, who is much less sympathetic than I am.

What she DOESN'T realize is that Sandra has heard all of the crying and the subsequent backstabbing. Sandra tells Rupert of her latest discovery. "What kind of game is (Jon) going to play with her on the boat?" Rupert will try to find out for himself, thinking that Lill is going to tell him.

Speaking of which, Lill and Jon toast to the final three. They discuss offing Rupert and/or Christa.

Mas cerveza! Mas pizza! Mas... Jon esta hablando de ver mujeres como Lill? Como se dice "What the beep?"

Later, Lill, who swears that she has never drunken "that much beer", is drunk. "I am the scoutmaster!" Then comes the drunken fishing.

They arrive back home, as Rupert tries to figure out what Jon and Burton were talking about with her. Rupert buys into her answer of absolutely nothing. "I know now that Lill be wholehearted with me. I wanted to hug and kiss her." Well, if that didn't tear it before, it sure does now, as Rupe gets duped.

Day 26:

I-CHALLENGE: Killer

It's like every other elimination via pecking order game, only this time done with blow darts. However, before you can start killing people, you have to become a killer by killing yourself. Make sense? Sure it does. Last player left wins. Christa and Darrah are the first ones offed. Rupert gets shot down when Sandra inadvertently snipes his eighth of the target. T, Sandra, Jon, and Lill are all downed, leaving Burton with the coveted cutlass.

Day 27: Pretribal symbolism time

We see a snake starting to scarf on a lizard, as Rupert is eating a bitter loss. "Sandra's (blow) was a mistake. Burton... he knew what the hell he was doing."

Whatever Burton is doing, he's still doing it, this time with his toadie Jon, who says that "a promise to me is like a fat woman on wicker furniture." That's vintage Dr. Phil right there, I'll tell ya.

Snake eats lizard.

Rupert analyzes his chances as he sends Lill, who professes her love for the once and future Blackbeard on camera, to do some shell collecting. Rupert seems to think that Darrah is also on the block, as he talks about it with Sandra and Christa. "Lill has been a key figure in a lot of votes. If they turn and they've gotten Darrah, T, Jon and Burton together on one side, I've got my four on my side, and we'll have a tie," Rupert figures.

Of course, that's not really the case, now is it?

Snake digests lizard.

Night 27: Tribal Council.

Okay, Rhino. Jury. Watching. Think we have that settled. Sandra sings Rupert's praises. Burton sings about catching live stingrays. Burton sings the battle of the alpha males, trying to outdo Rupert. Sandra sings about Jon sleeping until noon... and at times later. Jon tunes that song out. Like that's a problem? Darrah sings. And that's all that matters, because, well, she's Darrah. Burton keeps his sword, meaning that it's chorus time for the other seven.

Rupert: DARRAH. "A Morgan has to go tonight. And the other two work harder than you."

Jon as Ric Flair, and this one goes out with much love to Mr. Beverly: RUPERT. "To be the man, you gotta beat the man. WHOO!"

And the rest of the count:

Burton: RUPERT

Sandra: JON

Christa: DARRAH

Tijuana: RUPERT

Darrah: RUPERT

And finally...

Lill: RUPERT.

Five to two to one, and the fat man sings his last tune. "I don't believe this." Believe it, Blackbeard, with five votes, THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN.