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For 39 days, 16 castaways were stranded in Asia.  Every 3 days on the island became a 1-hour show.  The first contestant eliminated pockets $2500.  Each successive eliminated contestant wins more money, through the next-to-last Survivor, who receives $100,000.  The final Survivor wins a million dollars!

Images (C) 2002 CBS, Inc. and Mark Burnett Productions. This page is in no way associated with CBS, Mark Burnett Productions, or the Survivor production.

Day 1: How appropriate that we should cast off ye scurvy lubbers on the day before National Talk Like a Pirate Day, be it? Arrrr... Okay, that be it for now, says I.

These sixteen people have just sailed off the coast of my ancestral home of Panama. They think they're on their way to get some publicity head shots and, for the most part, are dressed for the part. They have NO idea that the neatly packed suitcases that they brought are completely worthless, and the clothes on their back and a prayer are all that they will get for the next 39 days. Times like this when the moment just begs for a Don LaFontaine voice over.

Jeff wrangles the motley crew as their ship drops anchor. They think they're getting shots now and game later. But they're getting game now. Stiletto heels, Armani suits, and all. "So I hope you're wearing something under that," Jeff tells Nicole. She ain't. Lucky us.

Each tribesman must trade away their personal items (i.e. wallets, passports, jewelry, and, in Osten's case, cheap grog) for their Buffs, the caveat for playing for the million dollars. And for the first time, we have an edition of Survivor whose tribal names will not flag in my spell check, as we have the Morgan and Drake tribes on tap. For info on Drake, head over to Pepper's side of the GSNN Survivor Islands. But here are your Morganites...

Andrew Savage; 40; attorney; Chicago Darrah Johnson; 22; mortician; Liberty, MS Lillian "Lill" Morris; 51; scout troop leader; Cincinnati Nicole Delma; 24; massage therapist; Hermosa Beach, CA Osten Taylor; 27; equity trade manager; Boston, MA Ryan Opray; 31; electrician; Los Gatos, CA Ryan Shoulders; 23; produce clerk; Clarksville, TN Tijuana Bradley; 27; pharmaceutical sales; St. Louis

But Jeff isn't the heartless bastard that we really know he is (not that there's anything wrong with that). He gives each tribe a bag with their sneakers and 100 Panamanian balboas (which equals exactly $100) to spend at a local bazaar. If they run out, they have to barter, but if they're smart, then they should be able to scrape up enough supplies to last them for 39 days.

And as a bit of incentive, there go the sneakers! I guess Jeff IS the heartless bastard we really know he is. One by one, everyone jumps ship and makes their way for the shoes (and the market). Their first challenge, get whatever they can by any means necessary ("Yeah, we don't have any money left, but we have two white wenches! Yeah, putas blancas..." Sorry, had to say that). Including, but not limited to, pirating from the other tribe, as Drake's Hagrid-lookalike Rupert demonstrates. Left with no other alternative, Osten bartered all of his clothes save for his boxers for more booty (both money and Osten's prominent ass-crack).

After more shots of Osten's butt than one really NEEDS and an incident where Tijuana gets ghetto in a botched barter, the tribe makes their way to Morgan Island. We arrive here, and before we can have any celebratory pillaging, we have to delegate some orders. Oh boo. After all, who wants to party when we can get water and shelter. Just so happens that Andrew and Osten find an ideal shelter along a rock wall. That's half of the shelter right away. And Lill is doing her part in camp by supplying fire. With a candle? What the hell kid of scoutmaster is she?

Night 1, but when you have a) rocks above, b) hermit crabs below, and c) Osten with no alcohol in his system, you're not going to have a good night. Several tribesmen get pinched as Osten screams like a little baby at a "snake"... a wiry vine.

Day 2: Water water everywhere, so let's all have a drink.

Tijuana notes that they need water to survive. An observation heretofore known as "Duh moment #1". Duh moment #2: when she suggests to check the map for something that says "water hole". Lill and Ryan S. venture into the jungle where, sure enough, they run into the water hole. And even more than that, Lill has found an ally: "The one person who befriended me with sincere friendship was Ryan Shoulders. Ryan's a good kid."

Day 3: Next thing you know, they also find the tree mail treasure chest...

"You've finally arrived, so now it's on, Your first challenge is a test of your brains and your brawn. Like pirates of old, it's the treasure you thirst, But no booty shall be had if you're voted out first."

I-CHALLENGE: Cannon carry.

Simple task? Yeah, right. It's an obstacle course with a big honking cannon to tow around. Teams must disassemble their cannons and get them through a fence. Then they must clear a track of rocks. Then they must drag their cannons in the mud. Then it's a foot race on the beach. First team to the finish wins immunity. And this season, we have what will probably go down as the coolest immunity idol ever... a skull on a battle axe.

Morgan trail slightly, as Osten has an issue with his pants. Ryan O. and Andrew have a solution. Dropping trou themselves. But gratuitous nudity isn't enough to carry this day. Or is it? The Drake get their wheels stuck in the sand, and the Morgan sidestep them. But once they get the wheels in motion, it's anyone's guess. It'll be the Drake's axe this time, as the Morgan has an axe to grind; tonight, someone's going home.

Back at camp, the players are hitching their britches, as Andrew helps the team nurse their loss... by personally placing Ryan S. on the chopping block for not pulling his weight, as the leader would tend to do in this early game. Lill is saving Andrew the trouble by putting herself on the block. But remember, the game isn't over until your torch is snuffed, as Ryan notes.

That won't stop Tijuana from accelerating that moment, though. As she finds out that Nicole was talking smack to Lill about her via Andrew, Nicole defends her act the only way possible... boldface lies! And we finally hear Darrah's two cents about the subject: "I don't think I can trust Nicole anymore."

Ninety minutes on, and that's all Darrah has to say. Ah, what it must feel like to be a mortician.

And speaking of death...

Night 3: Tribal Council, and it's nice that Andrew decided to dress up for the occasion.

Okay, you've heard this before, but hear me out anyway. Fire = life. No fire = no life. Amongst the tribal conventions with headmaster Jeff, Lill's patience, Andrew's thinking that Ryan S. isn't pulling his weight, and Osten's ... err, business. Here are the votes we see:

Nicole - RYAN S. ("I heard that people were targeting you tonight.") Tijuana - NICOLE ("You stabbed me in the back, and now you're going to have to save yourself.")

And the votes we don't, although, as you can see...

Darrah - NICOLE

Ryan S. - NICOLE

Ryan O. - NICOLE

Lill - NICOLE

Andrew - NICOLE

Osten - NICOLE

It's pretty much and open-and-shut case. Nicole, THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN. Put your undies on and get the hell up outta here.