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For 39 days, 16 castaways were stranded in Asia.  Every 3 days on the island became a 1-hour show.  The first contestant eliminated pockets $2500.  Each successive eliminated contestant wins more money, through the next-to-last Survivor, who receives $100,000.  The final Survivor wins a million dollars!

Images (C) 2003 CBS, Inc. and Mark Burnett Productions. This page is in no way associated with CBS, Mark Burnett Productions, or the Survivor production.

I would like to point out that every year since Chico and I have been doing these dual tribe coverage, I have had a 100% perfect streak. Unfortunately, that streak of perfection is the wrong sort of streak - every team I have covered has been the one that does not have the winner, and, with the exception of Marquesas, gets pagonged out of existence.

So I know that my luck is going to change this time around. I have picked the guys because I KNOW that they are going to win. I mean they can't possibly lose to the girls, can they? Can They?

(Meanwhile, in Survivor leagues everywhere, once people have seen the team that I am covering, the masses are changing their teammates to an all-female squad.)

Once the 16 people are ready to be divided into teams, Jeff Probst (our host) calls out all of the girls names. Once the fifth girl is called, everyone knows that it will be men Vs. women. After the women get into their boat, we are left with the guys - and here's who they are -

Roger - An old guy who is a construction company VP - he looks a little like Al Bundy and has the woman-hating perspective to go with it.

Alex - A triathlon coach. He is in his mid 30's and seems to be a bridge between the old guys and the young guys.

Rob - A computer programmer. He talks about how he will deceive in order to get ahead in the game. I see him lasting for awhile.

Butch - Another old'un, but a quiet one - not one to give orders and make himself known. If he picks the right group to hang out in, he could be in for the long haul.

Daniel - An Asian wrestler-type guy - he was on MTV's tough enough. 'There's no way that a woman is going to beat us - in anything. We're never going to go to Tribal Council.'

Dave - He is literally a rocket scientist. A young guy. Looks like he tells it as it is and calls his shots. He will either be there for awhile or he'll be going home early.

Ryan - A model. He is the guy that hung out with Mike 'Boogie' group hangout. Not a good sign early.

Matthew - Another medium aged guy who we don't know a lot of. I'm sure we'll know more about him later on.

Uncle Jeffy tells the story of the Amazons, which was named after a tribe of female warriors who survived on their own without the help of men. Shades of things to come?

It's time to paddle off to shore, and of course, we leave first. The women couldn't even untie their boat without help. How are they going to survive?

Roger immediately starts to take charge of the group. He tells them that they need to build a fire before night-fall. Ryan is the first person complaining - 'The strategy that I had was taken and thrown out the window. It sucks that you have a game plan, that you know that will work, and now I got 8 guys, and it's all one big sausage fest.' (Text edited out the 'like's and 'you knows' for clarity).

There's no doubt that Ryan is a model, and there's no doubt that he would have been best served with a group of women - he may be the biggest woman of the men's tribe.

We land first and Dave gives up the 'go men go' speech. 'We're the favorites right now...We look like the biggest ass ever if we go home. The bottom line is - we're not going home.'

Ryan - 'Our butts are on the stove right now. If we lose to the girls, it's going to be rough. It's going to be really rough.'

We open up our box - and we have lanterns, flint for making fire, and machetes. We also get a mystery box that we can't open without a key, as well as a huge box of flour.

'Nobody wants to be the leader because the first guy gets voted off' says Butch. He delegates the responsibility to Roger, but he seems to be the real quiet leader so far - and his communication skills are much better than the loud Roger.

The guys have no problem making a fire. Roger, for all of his ordering, sets everyone up to construct the shelter, and for the most part, they are working as a unit. Night has fallen, and we created a nice bead made of the bamboo leaves. Butch brought as his luxury item a banner that says 'Believe in Yourself'. They post it up, and they are pleased with their work. They also don't think that the women have achieved nearly as much us guys have. Rob - 'I think that the women have got to be having a very difficult time...I don't think any of them have any idea that they'd be doing this on estrogen alone out there in the camp of the Vagina Monologue.'

Day 2 - No massive rainstorms yet, and it's a beautiful day to create a shelter. We are starting to have our personality problems - and it's mostly with Roger. The young guys - mainly Ryan, and Dan - are getting the ire of the old guys - specifically Roger. 'We ask them to get some vines, and it's like pulling teeth....they're just useless. They're digging they're own grave. They've already dug it.' Not a good sign early for the young guys.

We do get it done albeit in an Andy Warhol style. Alex - 'We're calling it our post-modern Survivor Shelter. It's not a perfect square, we have some trapezoidal action going...I'm relatively sure that Home and Garden is going to shoot us later.'

So once we're done, we go back to doing what we do best - bashing on the girls. Rob - 'I don't see the women working well together...I see them all crying and panicking, trying to build a cell phone so they can call their boyfriends to call them over and help them build a shelter. Outside of that, I'm sure that they've got maybe three sticks together.'

More silliness abounding in our camp - this time with a Magic 8 Ball. Rob has donated the Magic 8 Ball. 'One thing that you may not know is that it really works...I told the tribe that there is only one rule with the Magic 8 Ball - and that was that they can not ask it if we will win immunity challenges. They do ask them questions instead with their possibility of hooking up with the three hotties on the women's tribe - Heidi, Shawna and Jenna. 'That girl Heidi, she is so hot - she can put Viagra out of business...there are spirits on this island, and with the Magic 8 Ball, I can channel those spirits.' Rob is crazy - but maybe crazy like a fox.

We get our first tree mail, and it's no doubt the immunity challenge description. 'If we lose to those women, man, we are going to get ragged on big-time.' warns Roger. Well, let's read it out loud, kids.

Working together from the start
As time goes by, you will surely part
Use balance agility and a bit of wit
Be the one to fall short and tonight could be it.

We finally meet the women - and we lie about the fact that we caught fish (because we haven't caught squat). The girls say that they have caught fish, but we don't buy that either. Uncle Jeffy reveals the immunity idol, and it looks like a Zombie Doll that was used in an old Scooby Doo episode.

Uncle Jeffy explains - this first challenge is an obstacle course. They all start chained together. They have to crawl under a set of pylons. One key will free the, tribe into 2 groups of 4. One of those groups will decode a message. That unlocks the keys to create 4 sets of 2. Then the teams have to go across a balance log - and not fall off. Then we split up into 8 people. Two of them have to put a jigsaw puzzle together. Then another person has to use a zip-line to get the key to unlock a fake door. Once that is opened, then everyone can cross the finish line. The first team to get across wins.

And we're off. Both us and the women get through the obstacle course at the same time. We finish the decoded message long before the girls do. The girls don't have any of it decoded before we get to the balance beam. This will be a walk in the park as we win the first immunity challenge.

It should have been like that.

But it wasn't.

We get three of the four groups across without a problem. The final group has the 2 young whippersnappers - Ryan and Daniel - the 2 people that the old geezers had a problem with. And for them, maybe we greased the log, because they can't get across. They are going across the balance beam for the 6th time when the girls finally get the puzzle decoded. It's gone to that point that Daniel and Ryan are crawling across the log. They finally get across - but it's too late. We lose our lead to the women, and the women blow their way through the jigsaw puzzle. While we're still on the puzzle, the women finish it and free themselves to win immunity. And my team has already lost the first battle.

And as Roger predicted, here comes the ragging. 'I think we went into it a little cocky...I think we had 8 guys believe in themselves a little bit too much.' - Butch.

'We performed like a bunch of cocky ass(bleep)...don't bring me down with your bull(bleep) - I have character, I have integrity.' that comes from Dave. Ryan, one of those cocky people, apologizes, and the alliance to get rid of Ryan starts. Ryan and Daniel, on the other hand, are plotting to get rid of Roger. Ryan thinks he has 5 votes - his, Daniel, Matt, Dave, and Rob. Roger thinks that he has 4 votes himself - his, Butch, Alex - and Rob. Rob is the switch guy here and finds himself in a position of power very early in the game.

And speaking of the game element, we head over to tribal council. Daniel says that he's the reason why the team is there, and Alex says that they had a bad day - then the guys talk about how hot Shawna, Heidi and Jenna is. We may be having a bunch of these conversations if the men continue to suck up the joint like they've been doing. Jeff - 'You came out from day 1, talking more trash than I've ever heard. Ever. You come out here and get your asses kicked, and yet when we get to women, it's like 'who cares, I want to hook up'. That's why you guys could really be in serious trouble.' I couldn't agree more.

Voting time. Roger, unsurprising, votes for Ryan. Matt, unsurprisingly, votes for Roger. Ryan does the same, 'My advice is don't hunt what you can't kill.' Butch votes for Ryan. 'I think you're a pretty good boy., The only problem is that you're still a boy. Sometime, silence is Golden.' Daniel (Roger) and Alex (Ryan) vote the way they say that they woulld. Dave votes - and it's for Dan. That was one of those votes that Ryan needed. Uh oh. Ryan better hope that Rob voted for Roger. He didn't. Rob voted for Ryan.

Rob's vote is the fourth one that Roger needed. He is safe - and Ryan, who's game plan was awful for the whole show, has a bad gameplan again - and it's his last one of the game. Ryan gets voted out 4 to 3 (Roger) to 1 (Daniel). Ryan is shocked when he sees the vote - and realizes that Roger has hunted and successfully killed. Dan is shocked because he thought that Ryan had the votes and because he knows that he is next.

Final words from Jeff? 'You came into the game a little confident, maybe a little arrogant. But what should be more concerning is that this is clearly a tribe divided, based on tonight's vote. Might be something worth looking at - you have 36 more days. You guys can head back to camp. Good Night.'

My take? The people who should be the most concerned are the people who did not vote for Ryan - those would be Daniel, Dave and Alex. They are in the outside (and for right now, losing) clique, and Daniel clearly has the bulls-eye on his behind. But as a whole, they better get their act together, or they will be talking up about hooking up with the women who are at loser lodge - and those will probably not be Shawna, Heidi or Jenna - the women at Loser Lodge will probably will be the old women. Ewwwwwwwww.