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By Gordon Pepper
Reality Editor, StormSeeker.com

Hello everyone - and welcome to 15 minutes that will rock the world - as
long as it makes Mark Burnett happy.

Last time out - more old people are getting picked off, and there's more of
a split than ever within our tribe, making it fodder for lunch when the
hungry Borans come looking for the food that they didn't get when they lost
the reward challenge last week.

Sure enough, we start out with Silas getting pissy with Frank and Teresa for
piling votes on him during the council voting - they respond by saying that
they're not going to wait to get picked off by the young'uns if they
continue to lose challenges. Frank:"I haven't seen an invitation floating
over here." Meanwhile, Teresa is feeling good about herself too. That change
from Burnett better be good, because if not, we can see the ending coming
from 5 miles away - Samburu plays the part of Team Pagong/Kucha and the
question is does Ethan or Lex win the money. Brandon is the only one
actually playing a game by suggesting that they will need everyone together
as a unit. Where the hell was this 3 episodes ago?

Ooooh - we got tree mail - let's look at it:

"Pick 3 from a tribe to go on a quest...."
oh enough with that, we're too lazy to read, Frank reads the mail out to
everyone. Herein also lies a problem - maybe the reason why the kids are
lazy is that team Metamucil isn't making them work and getting their fair
share. Anyways, Silas, Frank, and Teresa all go out to meet Uncle Jeffy -
who promptly gives them the big twist - they are now all Boran (like who
didn't see this one coming - did anyone really think that there would be 3
tribes? - still - this could be fun - let's see how this plays out.) All of
the sudden, Teresa and Frank slowly turn and look at Silas - I think Silas
knows that he is lunch, and that Teresa is setting up the garnish and Frank
is sticking the apple in Silas's mouth. But they are no longer part of
Samburu, so let's go meet the new tribesmen...

Tom - We get the prejudiced goat farmer. Whoopie. I'm sure he and the gay
bartender will get along....NOT. Better get a whole bunch of hard shots
ready, Brandon...

Lex - A 38 year old ex-rockstar tattooed guy. Tall and Lanky - as least he
probably  appreciates Brandon's bar skills.

Kelly - A blonde bombshell - this one looks like she will actually get work
done. Let's see how well she meshes with the lost tribe of Tampono...

She doesn't. ("We worked really hard - to see people this lazy, it's
painful"). Tom meanwhile wants to run back to his old tribe - I would guess
that he'll even settle for feeding Clarence his share of food. Right now,
none of them really mesh together and once again we have a direct split
among alliance lines. Can't we just all get along?

The ex-Boranites are trying to figure out who has the most votes - they're
thinking its Brandon - but actually Lindsey is the only one in the group
that has any votes. Here's what they think of our old group:

Brandon - nice fun guy - even if he is queer - Tom (Rudy) likes him, but not
in a homosexual sort of way
Kim - A definate threat if she gets to the merger
Lindsey - Annoying as Hell

The annoying as Hell woman is afflicted with a tick up her butt. I bet she
knows what she needs to do in this situation, doesn't she? And goat boy Tom
is more than happy to help out. After a bucket of steaming hot water (the
grimace on her face makes it look like there's something much bigger than
the tick up her butt), they finally get it out. I can't help to think that
this is not just comic relief - there is some foreshadowing here - maybe
that tick got to leave a little present for Lindsey before it left...

So let's see - we have 2 strong males - both over the hill - and a third
male who is probably weaker than all of the women. On the other side, you
have 2 jocks and a ex-military person. In the words of Kim: "If the
challenge is physical, we lose".
Guess what gang? the challenge is indeed physical - it involves carting
goats to your pen. To show how badly our team is physically - the guy
(Brandon) gets to be the goat herder. We can herd goats - they can carry
them 2 at a time, so needless to say, the other team wins the prize - 3
chickens and a rooster. Congratulations, Tom, Lex and Kelly - welcome to a
whole lot of reward challenge losses in your future...

It's time for the immunity challenge, and our tribe is already bracing for a
loss. Lindsay is an emotional wreck. Brandon is trying everything he can to
keep the fact that she has votes away from everyone else. "It's such a great
thing to be gay, because I can't take supporting a crying woman right now".
You get that feeling that the first time his new tribe loses, that he will
have gotten tired of Lindsey and turns into 'plays to win' mode and crosses
her and aligns with the Boran section?

This challenge is a speed and intelligence immunity challenge - whoever can
set up a jigsaw puzzle with an African tribe logo first wins immunity. We
are pretty good at it and win the challenge - but it also looked like only
Silas was wanting to win - and that everyone else wanted to lose. If that
was the case, buh-bye, Silas. - We'll find out in 3 days...

RANTS AND RAVES:Breaking out of character for a minute (because this will
probably be old by the time my next column is due) - the move seemed like a
deliberate plot by Burnett to keep the old folks in the game and to try to
make the game more interesting by forcing people to make new alliances with
the other tribe - but Samburu is so divided and Boran's core alliance is so
strong, that I think that Boran takes over BOTH tribes. Burnetts idea may
have worked for the first 2 series, but not here. It seems obvious that
Lindsey, Clarence and Teresa are the next 3 to go, and when the tribe merge
finally happens, Boran outnumbers Samburu at least 5-3 (with Frank aligning
against Samburu also), so Brandon, Kim P and Frank (or Kim J if Frank wins
immunity and gets in good graces) are next on the docket. This leaves Kelly,
Tom, Lex, Ethan and Frank - I bet Frank wins an immunity challenge, so Kelly
has to go - Frank's luck finally runs out, and then Tom falters, leaving Lex
and Ethan to battle it out. We will once again have the stronger team
picking off the weaker one - and if Mark Burnett wants to change that
scenario, he better have more up his sleeve than switching tribal members or
holding off a merger.