THE RECAPS
STORMSEEKER.COM RECAPS! Reality editor Gordon Pepper provides recaps of each show.

June 1, 2003
This is getting silly.

When you hear 'Granny's gotta get her freak on.' and 'Pick me before I die', you know that you are getting schmaltz. And schmaltz it is - as we are greeted by 4 can-can cronies and (straight from America's Most Talented Kid) Mario Lopez. You HAVE GOT to be kidding me. They are subtitling this 'Second Chance.' Mercifully, this should be called 'Last Chance'.

Here are our senior laden judges - Estelle Harris, Barry Williams and Shirley Jones. Just in case you were spared from America's most talented kid, here are the rules - you get graded up to a 10 in talent and showmanship. The elder with the highest score gets $25,000.

Our first contestant for the evening is a rapping granny - Vivian Smallwood, who is doing her own version of 50 cent's 'In the Club'. I am not making this up. There is a reason why Ryan Vickers does these recaps - if I was doing it, I would be savaging the little kidlets. As it is, Ryan is not here to save me this time, so this is just as entertaining as it sounds - it isn't. 'Wave your hands in the air - wave them for granny out there.' Here's my own lyrics - Everyone, go out and get your Maalox. But pour in your ears, 'cause this granny sucks. Granny gets an 8.9 for talent and a 9.5 for Showmanship, for a total of 9.2. Smallwood is in the lead - but then again, she's the only one that went.

Next up is Ms. Cordell Jackson - and she's a rocking granny with a guitar. She's average, as she repeats the same chord progressions, but for an 80 year old, she's got some chops - and is much better than Lady Mix-A-Granny. The judges are far more harsher on We get two 8.6's for Cordell - so inexplicably, the rapping granny is still in the lead.

Lanmbus Dean is up next, and he sings 'Oh What A Night'. The 53 year old singer is nice, and he does some cool moves, but he didn't knock me out of the water, and even if Lambus does keep the lead, it will certainly be beatable. He gets a 9.3 for Talent, and a 9.5 for presentation - and Lambus is the new leader. It's nice to know that the judges do have some sort of semblance in taste.

58 year old Jetsa Paleo has Gerorgia on her mind - and that's what she sings. She is better vocally than Mr. Dean - but she doesn't have the moves like him. Will that matter to the judges? Jetsa's 'partner' Jeannie is there to lend her for support, and Jeannie will not like what she sees. A 9.4 for Talent - but only a 9.2 for presentation. That keeps her at a 9.3, and Landis's shuffling feet does indeed keep him at the top.

Contestant #5 is a 60 year old pianist from Maryland. Larry Scott sings and plays 'America'. He sounds a little like Neil Diamond. He sings fairly well, though the piano playing is plain, it does fit the purpose of presentation, I guess. What will the judges think? The judges like Lambus better - a weak 8.8 for talent and a weaker 8.6 for presentation puts Larry in last.

Dianne Cadman-Dake, a 60 year old, dances to 'Move it Like This' by the Baha Men. This is painful to watch, and if the seniors with the musical talent couldn't unseat Lambus, I don't see how Dianne will. And she doensn't - A 9.1 for talent and a 9.0 for presentation keeps Lambus in first.

But will he stay in first agsinat a n 82 year old piano player? Christine Gentry is up - and she is tickling the ivories. She blows Larry Scott out of the water, and despite a few clunker notes, she is definately one of the better contenders. But is she good enough? The judges give her a 9.3 in talent but only a 9.2 in showmanship, and Lambus is still hanging on. Those dancing feet may be worth $25,000.

Next up is Al Raefano, who croons 'You Can Leave Your Hat On'. He looks a little like Tony Bennett and sounds a lot like Tom Jones - and as I am a big Tom Jones fan, I am naturally going to like him. He is my personal favorite right now. He rocks the judges too - 9.8 for talent, 9.8 for showmanship andf a 9.8 total. Al is the new leade - as he should be. The judges have redeemed themselves in my eyes.

But Al still has to wait out 2 more competitors. 71 Year Old Mary Allen sings 'I Will Survive'. No she won't. She has a very rocky start and she is off on her timing, and although she's not horrible, she is not even close to the class of Al. She gets an 8.5 for talent and an 8.9 for showmanship, which means that Al only has to dodge one more bullet for the $25,000.

The bullet is 53 year old Jerome Robinson, who sings 'You'll never find a love like mine.' He is very good, but is he worth $25,000 good? I don't think he is, and the judges agree - a 9.5 for talent and a 9.7 for showmanship does not cut it, and Al wins it by two tenths of a point. Al is America's most talented senior and he grabs $25,000!

If the show gets a high rating for performance, then you may see more of these. We'll see how you judged it in the weeks to come...