LOVE CRUISE

EPISODE RECAP #2
By reality editor, Gordon Pepper

(For information on the players, visit FOX.com)

On our last episode - Gina and Bob get voted off - but what do they care? They get to go to Aruba!!! Let's go see the happy couple as they are hanging out in the Eden known as Aruba....uhhh.....wait a sec....this must be the skanky area of Aruba that they don't put in the travel brochures. They live in the Blue Valley Suites (AKA Roaches R' Us) and their next door neighbors are three nanny goats. But at least they have each other...right? (I bet right about now Bob is regretting staying with Gina while she was sick last episode)

Back to the boat - its now the men's turn to go to the women, and the women decide whether or not to keep the guys. Only 2 of the couples stay together as anitem - Adrian and Tomiko, and Anthony and Laura. The new couples are - Darin and Melissa, Ralph and Andrea, Toni and Greg, Jeanette and Michael, and Lisa and Tony.

Once again we get to learn more about our fellow love cruisers...

Melissa - She wants to play to win - and she has a boyfriend waiting at home (wait a sec - aren't these people all supposed to be single? What is the point of finding a mate if you already have a boyfriend? Wha?)
Anthony - Likes Laura - she's 21 and squared away (or so he thinks - heh heh heh...)
Ralph - With the quote of the night - 'I'm 32 and I have no idea' - You got that right.

So as of right now, the strongest bond is by far Anthony and Laura - and the closest couple gets $200,000. So what do the other women do? They sabotage the relationship, of course. Toni talks to dissuade her, Lisa talks to dissuade him, and by the time the night is done, Anthony and Laura are bickering in their room. 

To stick the dagger in the relationship, Laura is the guest of honor in the Hot Seat  and she gets wonderful questions such as 'Why are you letting Anthony hold you back?'

Tony, who comes to the black tie party without his shirt on, also gets a nasty question - 'youve only had sex once - why?'. He immediately goes for the dare (Balls of shame) - for me, the warning lights go on -it would be
easy for him to say that he is waiting for the right girl - for him to shirk the question almost immediately smacks of one of two things. He either has a little Tony running around  somewhere, or he has some little crabs running
around everywhere. He instead decides to give Melissa a lap dance for his troubles.

Michael talks about how Darin and Melissa may be turning into an item. Meanwhile, Laura, who's really non-plussed about Anthony, decides to go outside and dive off the boat with some of the guys. We're talking major plunging here.

The next morning, the boat lands on Margarita Island, where the couples learn that they will be competing for the switch card - which allows you to switch places with someone - aka if you're getting voted off, you can have someone take your place. The competition is a salsa dance competition - the team that salsa's the best gets the switch card.

The girls believe that if Tomiko doesn't win, then the guys are going to get rid of her. The guys believe that the girls are going to dump Adrian. Meanwhile, Anthony wants to dump Laura, because she is now gravitating
towards Tony.

So here's the contest - the couples dance for 30 minutes - the natives give them tips. The team with the most tips wins the contest. Adrian and Tomike already know how to salsa, so they think thast they're set. This is a
nightmare for Michael though, since he's the stereotypical fat white boy lawyer who can't dance. Needless to say, when the competition is about to begin, Michael and Jeanette drop out. (I'm sure that there will be debating contests sometime, Michael...maybe during the 72nd season.)

So there are now 6 teams in the competition. Everyone gets sweaty and starts taking off clothing - which we get to see gratuitous stripping for the next 5 minutes. When the smoke clears, Adrian and Tomike do wind up winning the competition, and it is Adrian who gets the switch card. Well this changes things - since according to him 'I'm not letting my girl off the boat' (oh Adrian, but next week's previews tell a different story - ain't love so
fickle?)

Not much happens during the after party at Senor Frogs - but plenty happens on the boat after the after party. Lisa goes back to her place to see Tony not being there - that's because Tony is giving Laura a nice sensual back rub. Anthony finds this out and he's not a happy puppy. So what does he do - he goes spreading around what Laura did to the guys. Meanwhile, it looks like to 2 people scorned in the relationship, Lisa and Anthony, are themselves looking to get together.

Jury day comes - and the women decide to be cagey and nominate Adrian - they know that he won't knock himself off of the boat, so they'll figure that he will make the decision for them. Meanwhile, the men have taken the full poison pill from Anthony and decide to get rid of Laura. Adrian starts his little speech by stating - 'well the women want equal rights, but they can't even make up their mind, so they want the men to make the decisions for them'. That's not exactly going to get you a lot of birthday gifts for you, Adrian.

Adrian decides that since Tony is connected to Laura, he switches himself with Tony, so that Tony and Laura can be happy together in Skankville, Aruba. (Of course, the fact they there is a strong couple that will no longer be a threat may also have something to do with the decision, eh?) So with  Tony and Laura gone, your strong  couples are Darin and Melissa, Anthony and Lisa, and Adrian and Tomiko - so those will be the greatest threats to be sabotaged for the next episode (Monday).

To be continued...