LOVE CRUISE

EPISODE RECAP #1
By reality editor, Gordon Pepper

(For information on the players, visit FOX.com)

A quick recap of the rules: The men and women are partnered for 2 days, and on the third day, the men vote out one woman, and the women vote out one man.  The couple that lasts until the end wins a trip around the world and $200,000.

Justin the cruise director brings up the first game - flash dating. Each of the men sits down next to a woman, and rotates around the circle after 6 minutes so they all get to talk to each other. While this is going on, we get
to learn about some of the people...

Lisa - Is looking for someone financially secure (but wouldnt you and your man  be secure if you won the money? Duh)
Toni - Looking for someone to keep up with her (and her bouncy artificial boobies). Now don't think that I am making fun of her - her...ahem...assets are a major factor in this episode...
Darrin - He is someone who lets his guard down and gets emotionally hurt easily, I would say he is prime angst fodder here...
Michael - A chubby Jewish Lawyer. He says that he doesn't get many chicks. No, you think?
Gina - She considers herself as a 'Traditional Actress'. Here's someone that I bet the producers are hoping goes far...
Anthony - He's looking for a smart girl that looks like a Barbie girl. Since he has tattoos all over his body, I would have to assume that the Barbie girl that he's looking for would surprisingly have Pamela Anderson Lee's figure.
Ralph - A wild and crazy guy - the dialogue of the evening is between him and Tomika.
Ralph:"I'd like to suck on your toes"
Tomika:"I'm not sure I'd let you suck on my toes"
We're talking Shakesperean wit here, gang.

So the next event is choosing partners for the first time. The girls pick the guy that they want. If there's more than one guy, than the guy picks the girl that she wants. If no girl comes to the guy, then the guys just sit there and look like dufuses. Darrin gets the most girls and picks Toni, while Anthony picks Laura, his first choice. Michael and Adrian play the role of dufuses for the first few rounds. Lisa plays the role of the dufette and finally Lisa and Michael are united by fate (and no remaining partners). Neither of them look very thrilled about being with each other. I could tell you who went with whom, but it makes no real relevance in this episode.

So all of the couples go to their cabin, all set with beds and hidden surveillance cameras. Anthony and Laura are the couple that seems to be getting it on the most, Whereas Toni and Gina get into the first major catfight of the show. The argument seems to be around Toni's titties. They are not real, and therefore, assumes Gina, neither is Toni. Toni, of course, takes umbrage with this and they are about to get it on. Meanwhile, Lisa and
Michael talk about their childhood nightmares, which prevents them from having a social life with anyone. I'm expecting Dr Joyce brothers to be delivering a lecture from behind the surveillance camera.

After frolicking by carressing in the cabin and doing some backwards diving outside the ship, Captain Stewart talks about 'The Hot Seat'. This is basically a truth or dare where everyone asks a question to one person, who
must answer the question. If the rest of the people don't think they are being truthful, then they have to undertake a dare. The questions asked pretty much underlined the theme of the show, with the highlight coming from
somone asking Toni about her breasts. Ouch. While Toni was answering the question, she stared ice daggers directly at Gina. I don't think they are trading Christmas gifts any time in the near future. Meanwhile everyone is
telling Lisa, who comes from a divorced family, that they all love her (sure they do, that's why she got Mike by default).

Night falls, and everyone is invited to dinner. Gina gets sea sick and eats her dinner on the top of the boat. The man who picked her, Bob, eats with her as he didn't want to leave her alone. Meanwhile, everyone is being asked questions on who they are going to vote off the next morning. They all say the same thing - they want to get rid of the people who aren't having fun, and the people who haven't really been socially interacting. The
foreshadowing means that Bob and Gina are the favorites for most likely to go to Loser Island early.

The morning comes and its time to vote. The women agree unanimously that it's time for Bob to go to Loser Island. With the men it was tougher - but they all agree that Gina gets to go home. Meanwhile, Toni and Gina continue their titillating conversation that they had yesterday before Toni offers to make up - Gina agrees and they apologize. It's a little tougher for the men, but they decide to eliminate Bob from the competition.  Adrian gets a one week break, but then that's it. Also - you can be eliminated and still come back in if they are invited in by someone else who is on the ship. That's what Bob and Gina are hoping right now - since now they are all alone on Loser Island.