THE RECAPS
STORMSEEKER.COM RECAPS! Reality editor Gordon Pepper provides recaps of each show.

April 17 2002 -- Finale
So here we are - getting ready for the super duper Rootin tootin fresh and  fruity Series Finale - and it will feature the lone team standing. The lone team standing is Bravo amd here are team members that are standing from the team that is standing:

Jeff Byers
Steve Claggett
Mark Corwin
Dexter Fletcher
Bob Kain
Sean Sirker

We start with a montage of all of the episodes leading up to this point (and if you haven't seen the episodes, feel free to read the guide =). So it's down to the 6 people - and the winner gets $250,000 for himself in addition to the $25,000 each Beavo member wins for getting the team award.

So we start with just Bravo left on the opening docket. Rudy tells the team that they will be drawing swords - the 2 people that draw tipped swords (Kain and Sirker) will be the captains, and they pick the remaining people to create the teams, which are -

Bravo Blue:
Kain
Byers
Fletcher

Bravo Red:
Sirker
Corwin
Claggett

Those are the new teams, and they are now told to split up and to go to the seperate camps. Bravo Blue seems to be better in speed, while Red is better in strength.. Kain on the Red Outfits, 'They're cute, and they look cute in them', They also have to worry about the other team stealing stuff, but it's pretty much old-fashioned tom-foolery between the teams.

The first training excercise is called Combat Combo. 'After this exercise, you may think that the teams that got sent home were the lucky teams' Thanks for the ominous comment, Devers.  The Combat Combo is a combo of all of the exercises that they have had to face. The losers add 10 pounds to their packs for the final mission. Ouch.

And since the Bravo team wasn't that good to begin with in the obstacle courses, this could be a comedy of errors - the obstacles are - Helocasting, log carrying, one lap around the field, rope bridge traverse, a nice swim across the pool, and then going to your base and firing off the weapons. Whichever team fires the weapons off first wins.

By the time helocasting was done, the outcome was pretty much decided as Team Blue pretty much blew out Team Red. Add to the fact that Sirker can not swim too well, and this is a fait accompli. Devers. 'Did you enjoy yourself?'  Claggett - 'No...I would have rather you have tied us up in the dunes and beat us.'

The men reminisce on their time when the base was crowded. 'This camp reminds me of the old Rod Steiger movies...of those old Ghost Town films' (cue to the activities on the Snake Pit). And in an obvious time-filler, the teams talk about the people who they liked the best - Mel Spicer (do by whatever means necessary), Jeff Everage (and his one episode stay), Garth Estadt (and his crippled exit off of the show), Scott Helveston (he was considered impulsive with a bad temper - and those were his good points), Rod Nutter ('He was always in various states of being disrobed...certain things that should have been left to the imagination')

The teams do their own Tomfoolery. The Red Team makes a sign called 'The Sausages' and the blue team decides to change the sign to read 'The LIMP sausages' 'I think somebody had sausage envy' said Bob Kain, who changed it to 'The LARGE sausages' 'n my opinion, it could get him into trouble for false advertisement' says Claggett, who caught Byers trying to deface it - bu
t he missed him the second time - and he changed it to The Large Sausage EATERS'. The sign got taken down - and then mysteriously put back up on the other camp.

There is a second premission task - and the losing team gets yet another 10 pounds added to their pack. We finally get to see the last of 'The Grid', which is to drop the opposing team into the water using Pugile Sticks.  'I think w'e're going to unleash Mark, and have him do his best Tazmanian Devil Impersonation' This is a best 2 out of 3 event for the finals.

In the first set, Jeff Byers was left, and he tried to do a war cry - which was to no avail. 'We take their childish behavior...and we use that against them'. Red took the first win, but blue won the second, tying the match up at 1-1 apiece. In the third and final round, It was 3 Blue on one Red, but Claggett got Kain and Byers to hit each other and fall in the water - and it was down to Fletcher and Claggett, and Fletcher goes flying into the water. Red wins the training excercise, and both teams go into the Final Mission even in weight.

The Mission - Urban Assault - it's now team against team - Shadow Squad has been sent home -  the losing team is eliminated. A team starts on one side of the map and goes to the first house that's indicated by the map. The teams go from house to house - each house has ammo to use against the other team and a map that shows the team the next house that they have to go to, and so on. The team that gets to the 6th house and lights up the smoke pack waiting for them wins - a team can also win if they take the other team out. Each member of the team is given a 10 pound pack on the way out of the Combat Mission Briefing.

'I think the key to winning this is working as a team and using the tactics that we have previously learned while we've been here.' says Claggett. And after numerous amounts of trash-talking by both sides, it's on. Bravo Blue takes the early lead - and both teams run into each other in the rendevouz to the second house. Blue gets to the second house first but red evens it up quickly. Both teams spot each other in the second house but this time Byers snipes out and kills Corwin.

Both teams get to the third house at relatively the same time. The red team go for the surprise attack and they get Kain. Both teams get to the fourth house and they both have 2 people left. We get another gunfight after the fourth house and Bravo gets to the fifth house first. The blue team is moving to the last objective, but Sirker is set up and waiting to take out Byers. He misses and Byers gets to the smoke screen first. Team Blue wins and Team Red goes home. Your three finalists are Kain, Fletcher, and Byers.

It's bittersweet for everybody and we get to see the obligatory 'Bravo is together' montage before they get dismissed. 'When those guys walked out of here, it was difficult, becuase they were all like brothers, and they will always have a piece of my heart' says Fletcher. 'I think I met some friends that I'll have for the rest of my life - a mad a little bit of money, so that doesn't hurt either.' says Sirker. 'I think it's great to be in the same team as the last 3 guys, and in that, that's a victory amongst itself'. says Claggett. Team Bravo Red is discharged at the end of the first hour.

So after 24 men started (and 30 players, total competed) we are down to three 'You 3 truly represent thr quiet professionals that make our profession great' says Rudy. There will be 2 preliminary excercises that will eliminate one person - then the 2 remaining people go at it in the final mission. All three people get new uniforms - Kain gets blue, Fletcher gets red, and Byers gets yellow. 'I'm trying not to think about it too much, because things can go any way with these three people here' says Byers.

We spend the next 5-10 minutes with the obligatory Mark Burnett space-filler about everyone describing their opponents and saying how formidable they are. Can't anyone pull a Scott Helvenston and say how much that they suck?

I'll sum this up quickly - Fletcher is the Flautist who's quiet and determined, Byers is the Papa Joe's and Candy Canes sense of humor guy who's deadly serious. Kain is the unorthodox guy who gets the job done. There - all done in 30 seconds.

Everyone is being solitary, and getting ready in their own special way for the first pre-mission, which is the obstacle course - first place wears a 30 pound pack, 2nd place wears a 40 pound pack, and 3rd place wears a 50 pound pack for the Desert Assault Mission later on - and whoever loses that mission is eliminated.

Bad things happen to people on this obstacle course (see Taylor, Jody and Estadt, Garth for further information) but no one gets hurt and they all survive to go to the next mission. At the first part of the obstacle course, Byers is first, Fletcher is in second, and Kain is in third. After the 1/2 way mark, Byers starts to pull away from everyone else, and really makes ground up on the cargo net. 'I did get to see Jeff's technique, the ass-slide, and I figured that I would just try to keep from killing myself.' says Kain, who doesn't kill himself, but he does finish in last, so he gets the 50 pound pack. Byers finishes in first, and Fletcher in second. 'Third
place in this mission was last, and I can't let that happen in the next mission, or else I'm out' says Kain.

And on this mission Desert Assault, it's a 600 meter race - you need to hit targets in order to advance - the top 2 people advance - third placs is eliminated. Fletcher -'Jeff's the best runner, I'm the best shooter', but it's Kain that is in first early as Byers has some early target problems. And the problems are of his own doing. Byers keeps improperly putting in his magazine, which jams up his gun, and he gets the $250,000 dumbass award of the episode. His failure to properly load his gun puts him squarely in last
place, and barring a major screw-up, that's where he will be staying.

Not only does the screw-up not happen, but Byers keeps putting in the magazine incorrectly and he withdraws after Kain and Fletcher complete the course. Kain winds up in first, Fletcher in second, and those two will compete against each other in the finals. Byers is eliminated, but there is no joy in Bravoville. 'There was very little eye contact in riding back with my Jeff and Bob - it was one of those things, you know.' says Fletcher, who gives Byers a hug as he is packing up his gear.

And Byers appeal gets shot down by Don Anderson, who shows Byers that he set the magazine improperly and broke the weapon. 'He mistreated his weapon...he damaged hie weapon beyond repair...I felt sick about it.' That finalizes the deal and Byers is going home. 'I just wish I would have lost on my own merits instead of mechanical malfunction'.

Byers gets the treatment from Rudy. 'You had a bad break today - the same thing happened to me (a reference to Survivor  - and like Byers, Rudy also finished in third =) - I don't play favorites, but I wouldn't have minded to see a SEAL win the whole thing;' Byers gets discharged, and it boils down to Bob Kain and Dexter Fletcher for the $250,000.

The Final Mission is called 'Last Man Standing', which consists of a giant maze - and each person will be standing on opposite of the maze. This is actually a paintball event - not a laser event. Whoever takes out the other person by hitting person with a direct face shot in the circle on the plastic visor that the contestants are wearing will win the cash. After every couple of minutes, some of the glass walls of the maze will explode, which will give the combatants less coverage. The person who delivers the first hit wins the cash - and since both finalists are SWAT Officers, this ought to be good.

Last words from Rudy - 'Men, you've been through a lot, and it all boils down to tonight, May the best operator win'. The first firing exchange has no winner as Kain is chasing Fletcher around. Kain runs out of ammunition and must reload, and it's now Fletcher chasing Kain. Fletcher has to reload but his gun jams and Kain has a direct shot at him, but more of the walls break and the distraction gives Fletcher enough time to make a successul retreat.

Both SWAT people realize that they will never get a direct hit on each other unless they get in close and personal - whih is exactly what happens. In what looks like a John Woo movie, both Kain and Fletcher hold the guns 2 feet away from each other point it straight at the other persons face visor, and start firing away. Fletcher twists his head so Kain's shot misses, but Fletchers shot gets in there and hits Kain's face first before Kain's second shot hits the mark. Kain is pronounced 'dead', and Dexter is your first Combat Missions Individual Champion.

Fletcher, who goes to his knees and prays, will be using the money for his family and other people in his neighborhood that need the cash. 'When I first stepped on Camp Windstorm, I had no idea of the obstacles that  I would have to go through...(cue the montage) it's a blessing to have people in this world that will put their lives into jeopardy to have peace...beacuse it's those people that make America what it is today.' It ends with Fletcher raising his hands up, with the title 'Best of the Best' under him, and it's
fade to black.

My Take: Despite the Burnett rigamarole in the last episode, this was a very fun series to watch, and with the ratings being what they are, there should easily be a sequel to this. Burnett has once again created a compelling series that I enjoyed watching. And I hope you enjoyed reading the summaries.

April 10 2002
So after all of the prelims, and the semi-finals, it boils down to Bravo Vs. Delta for all of the marbles. The teams have only played once before, with Bravo getting the win when Delta ran into a 'Total Mission Failure'. This meeting is for the Combat Missions Team Championship.

Bravo is 6-0, while Delta is 5-1. Fletcher is playing his flute, while Corwin wants to fiddle and see Delta burn. 'If there is one team I want to 'bleeping' beat and humiliate, it's Delta' says Corwin.

Meanwhile, BAZ of Delta is trying to figure out what went wrong. Winn told Helvenston that he is saving himself for the individual competition, and Helvenston went bezerk. 'This dirtbag is riding himself on the coattails of our effort. If we had to vote someone out, he'd be gone.' Scott is bitching to BAZ, 'I'm tired of the 'toe the line' mentality CHANGE THE GAME' Change it!' They can't do anything to Winn, but if the team doesn't do something, then they won't reach the individual competition. Scott remains very pissed. 'I'm psychologically disturbed' says Helvenston. I think you were disturbed since we first saw you, Scott.

Bravo remains unimpressed, 'Don't let what they're doing affect what we're doing', says Corwin. 'Let's just take care of business, which is something that we've always done.'

Winn decides to have a powwow, but it's Helvenston is the one brandishing the tomahawks. 'Why haven't you put out yet, soldier?' Winn - 'I'm tired of your crap. If you want to face me man to man, then face me man to man. Don't come to me like a little girl.' After being confronted by everyone on Delta, Winn changes his tune. 'I'm here to play for the team...I hope you forgive me for what I said, bad words, bad choices, bad time.' Helvenston doesn't buy Winn's line of steaming monkey crap (and neither should you, after last episode), and he goes to sulk out by himself outside the tent.

Bravo is not too impressed. 'Has the mediator made it in yet?...I think they need to bring in someone from Kindercare.' Helvenston, 'We're going to play and we're going to bring the cop along with us' Winn, 'Today has been a crazy day, but it will be a good day'.

It doesn't start out as a good day. The pre-mission event is Helocasting - jump from the helicopter, get to the boat and turn it over (BUT DO NOT USE THE DOCK TO TURN IT OVER), get to the base and fire the weapons at the base. The first team to fire the weapon wins. Bravo, which can't win a pre-mission from anyone not named Charlie, has a change of strategy and has different people doing specialized tasks. One of the tasks must have been make sure Delta does not follows the rules, since Helvenston uses the dock to flip over the boat, and that gives Delta a disqualification. Bravo (though they did finish the mission first) gets the 50 points by default.

Devers gets into Delta's case. 'If you want to act like a bunch of bananaheads, that's fine with me too.' Helvenston (for once), actually doesn't blame Winn, but, of course, he doesn't blame himself either - he blames Devers for the loss. 'I'm here putting myself out and he has the (bleep) to embarass me??? Devers should stand down...I'm going to get into his (bleeping bleep) the next time that I see him!' 'Scott's losing his mind' says George Ciganik. 'I'm embarrassed that we can't be more like a team'. Bravo thinks that Helvenston needs Jesus - or at least a hug. Bravo's Sean  Sirker - 'I think he may be more the enemy for Delta than Bravo is at that point'

The mission is 'Fuel Dump Demolition'. 3 helicopters tried to blow the fuel dump up and have failed, so it's the Squad's job to do it. Go To the ORP and call headquarters for further instructions. There will be a tank there - you may have to take it out too.  Bravo asks if there are any survivors - they are told that they don't know - you get the feeling that survivors may be in play?

Corwin creates a 'Need a dispute settled?' sign for the love couple of Winn and Helvenston as Bravo is taking things lightly - a little too lightly? Jeff Clagett, - 'Tonight, I'm going to dream about Papa John's and Candy Canes.' Meanwhile, Delta is pissed. Winn, - 'Bravo better be watching out, because Delta is coming through, and coming through hard.'

Delta starts first - and they are already down 50 points. Delta crawls up to  the Fuel Dump and radios in - with the locations of the fuel dumps - as well as a POW in the camp. After Delta radios into HQ, the new objective is to rescue the POW - the fuel dump is now the secondary mission - you get 100 points for blowing it up. Helvenston takes out the tank - but one of Shadow Squad taked out Rod Nutter. They save the man and they get the POW in 25 minutes, but Nutter's elimination means that Bravo can lose 2 men or not blow up the fuel dump and still win the competition.

Ciganik - 'That went off exactly as we planned it - it was awesome...this is what teamwork is all about - about rising to adversity.' Helvenston, 'In order for Bravo to beat us, they have to be perfect'. Well, not completely perfect, thanks to Helvenston's DQ screw-up and Nutter's death, but Bravo needs to be close to it in order to have the perfect season and to win the team competition.

Bravo is up next. They go to the target and Jeff Byers radios into HQ and gets the new objective. Sirker takes out the tank and Byers takes out the hidden sniper that took out Nutter. Bravo takes out the Dump Tank and Bravo is indeed perect - perfect season and perfect mission. There is nothing Delta could do - with the extra 50 points, Bravo was untouchable.

Here is the Final Results:
Delta:
1000 - 50 (1 Dead) - 125 (25 minutes) = 825
Bravo:
1050 -  0 (0 Dead) - 95 (19 minutes) = 955

Bravo wins the Team Championship and does it with the highest score ever in the Combat Mission Mani Mission. The irony is that the man who was preaching team unity, Scott Helvenston, in the one time he was not thinking of the team, makes the DQ move that destroys Delta's chances of winning.  Helvenston gets the Dumb-Ass Award for costing them the deciding 50 points, and John Winn shares the dumb-ass award for creating the mess in the first place - and we never do get to see Winn's glorious plan of saving it for the individual competition. Oops.

We get to see the best of Delta - suck as Nutter parading around naked (that's the best of Delta?). Delta, much to my surprise, actually comes out clothed - but not before BAZ drops a purple flash bang behind as a going-away present. Each of the 6 Bravo has now won $25,000 and they all go to The Snake Pit to celebrate. But one of the men will be celebrating a little extra hard
after next week's 2 hour season finale - as one of them walks away with an extra $250,000.

April 3 2002
We are now in the second semi-final match. The winner plays Bravo in the  finals, and Delta and Alpha will be fighting it out to get that second spot. These 2 teams can not stand each other, and the stakes can't be higher - the losing team is eliminated.

Alpha goes into the semi-finals with 4 men. Delta goes in with 6 - sort of. Garth Estadt is still injured - but a broken ankle is the injury - not a sprained one, like earlier thought. This causes Estadt to be medically discharged, and on a medical discharge, the team gets to replace someone - and the someone that replaces Estadt is William Nissen, a decorated war veteran. According to Rudy,  'It's about time that we got some maturity around here' Reese - 'One team is going to watch their bitter enemy leave the gate.'

The first bonus mission is the gauntlet, and Alpha's Mel Spicer and Delta's Scott Helvenston automatically get into it. 'I try to get my energy out of positive things, and there is nothing positive about Helvenston' Helvenston already yaps - 'Spicer, I'm looking for you'

In the gauntlet - each team plays offense and defense. Whoever gets the least amount of people across wins. John Winn is taking a page out of Helvenston's book and talks trash too - but he gets a knee in the thigh and goes down. Nutter goes...well...nuts, and he clears the deck of the Alpha squad. It takes Delta 3 people to clear the gauntlet.

Alpha gets to play offense - and they have to get it done in 1 or 2 guys. Oates takes out Winn, and eliminates BAZ in an epic battle. Spicer gets Helvenston next. After getting warned by both Rudy and Devers, Spicer gets Helvenston in the water and Alpha wins the 50 points toward the mission. Helvenston, for the first time, sees his plans backfire. 'Mr. Helvenston....a vanilla wafer' says Spicer. Helvenston is blaming not himself, but Winn. 'I'm tired of the lip serivce, and the fleeting jaw.' Winn's response? 'You can't be a sore loser all of the time', and now Helvenston and Winn are going at it.

Apparently Estadt was also the peacemaker in the group, and Delta is starting to fall apart. Winn decides to talk to Halvenston one on one. They both decide, as mature human beings....to not speak to each other anymore. Oh yeah, lack of communication will really help them go a long long way on their main mission.

Delta is looking to Nissen to lead them to the victory - well most of them, while one of them has their own agenda.  'I was looking to get someone older than me and not as strong as me, which will give me a better chance to win - well, he's older, and he looks weaker, so I liked the choice.' This comes from Winn, so Helveston's concern about not everyone on the same page may be well-founded.

Alpha has the disadvantage since they only have 4 men, but they have the advantage in terms of people - they have less people to lose. Alpha thinks that they can pull it out 'Delta is obviously having some internal struggles. We're loving every minute, and we're planning on taking full advantage of it' says Spicer.

BAZ is starting to get it, 'I think people are starting to think more about themselves than about thinking for the team. When those differences start to rear their ugly head, that's when things can fall apart...if we don't win this mission, then we will be all out of here. That will suck.'

Delta's spirit gets lifted when Estadt comes back to give the troops a morale boost. 'We're gonna win this thing....for Garth' says Helvenston. Awwwwwwbarf. Winn is working out as he is talking about his Combat Award Medal for Operation Desert Storm.  'I am here to conquer and destroy, man', and he is looking towards the individual competition - perhaps a bit too early?

Here is the Mission for the Semi-Finals - it takes place in a Meth Lab. The head crimeboss is called Santos Hernandez. The objective is to get pics of the scene, find him, and radio headquarters for further instructions.

Delta starts out first. Can they put their differences aside and behave like professionals? It seems like it so far, since Helvenston and Winn are in the same duo that goes out for surveillance.  Delta successfully ID's Hernandez and gets the second set of instructions  - apprehend Santos and shut down the drug lab. The team will lose 250 points if they fail to apprehend Santos.

Winn gets killed first and team leader BAZ follows. Nutter gets into the METH Lab, but the hidden sniper is waiting for him and he gets gunned down. Delta gets the mission accomplished and correctly identify Hernandez, which is done in a rather quick 24 minutes, but they lose 3 guys, including Winn. Since Alpha has the 50 point advantage, the only way that they lose this mission is if they finish this mission with 3 dead and complete it 10 minutes slower, fail to identify Santos Hernandez, or if they get a Total Mission Failure, and it's looking like the 4-1 Delta can get knocked off by the 1-4 Alphas. 'I can't really flap my mouth, because we don't know if we won or not', says Helvenston. It looks like your mouth may be shut for you - permanently.

Scott Oates, 'Turn in next week to see if Mark Jackson makes it', says Scott Oates. Jackson has a perfect record - he has been killed in every Alpha Mission. Alpha correctly identifies Santos, but they lose Oates and Spicer very quickly, and that comes to bite them in the ass - because with those 2 people gone, they don't have the manpower to go after Hernandez, and he escapes, along with Alpha's chance of winning the Mission. 'We let 250 points escape down the road'. You can add the Mission to that as well. But at least Jackson survived the mission, but that's the wrong person to be alive. 'I would have rather have gotten Santos and gotten killed.' Yep. To paraphrase Oates, 'We came, we saw, we lost our ass.'

Here are the academic results:
Delta:
1000-150 (3 Dead) - 120 (24 Minutes) = 730
Alpha:
1050-100 (2  dead) - 250 (Failure to get Santos) - 140 (28 minutes) = 560

"That's the see you later bag....that's the bye bye bag, because we're going bye bye now." We get the obligatory montage of well, we came and it was great to do something like thius, blah blah blah - but at least Alpha is not going out to get discharged in their jocks.

So we get no surprises, but a really good finals set up between Bravo and Delta. One team will win the finals - and one member of that team will win the money - if Helvenston and Winn can survive each other to get there - and that may not be such a sure thing... 

March 27 2002
OK - we are back, and I STILL don't get why everyone doesn't get to play everybody twice...oh well. One of the mysteries of Marc Burnett, I guess. So without further ado, it's on to the playoffs - winner advances, loser goes home. This episode has the top seeded 5-0 Bravo team goes up against the low seeded 0-5 Charlie team.

So what does Charlie do when they are sitting  with an 0-5 record and has the golden opportunity to run through the season without a victory? They talk trash, of course. Cade Courtley talks the talk, 'They're not that good...they never win the physical challenges.'

And speaking of said physical challenges, the first one is the dreaded weapons assembly. You have to assemble 4 weapons in a box - each member gets a weapon to assemble (Bravo must sit 2 of their people out). The winning team gets 25 points.

Sirker for Team Bravo gets done in a hurry, but Fletcher is having a real hard time. This gives Charlie the opportunity to move into the lead and win....but Graves is also struggling - struggling so much that Fletcher gets done - and so does everyone else on the Bravo squad - while Graves is still
on his weapon. Graves appeals to the judge, but it only takes the judge 45 seconds to reload the weapon Graves was working on and fire it successfully. This gives the 25 points to Bravo, and in the words of Courtley, 'Yet another chapter in the history of  Bad Luck Chuck'. Graves puts it a bit more
succintly, 'We are Team Choke.'

Charlie/Chuckles/Choke Jobs have the same thing happen to them in 'The Grid'   (knock your opponents into the water using pugile sticks).  Charlie is actually up 2-1 (people left) with only Cleggett left for Bravo, 'I was left lone with my quick wit, and it failed me.' But Charlie could not get
Cleggett into the water, and after 10 miinutes of this, it is ruled a stalemate.  In this compettiion, a stalemate means that everyone gets to go ack into the game, and Bravo takes complete advantage, wiping out Charlie  and winning another 50 points to their mission.

For the first time since....well, since Bravo played Charlie last time, Bravo has a lead going into the main mission, and Courtley is trying to play that up. 'You're actually going in up 75 points, why are you messing with your mojo?'

We next get our highlight feature of the show. This one is of Bravo's Fletcher - when he is not being strange and showing pictures of himself barechested in leather, he's a nice Miami dad who plays the flute. Awwwwwwwbarf.

Here is the Mission for the Semi-Finals - it takes place in a Meth Lab. The head crimeboss is called Santos Hernandez. The objective is to get pics of the scene, find him, and radio headquarters for further instructions. 

Bravo goes first. They look and don't see him at the scene. A car comes into the picture and a guy pops out - they identify Santos correctly as the person coming out of the car.  The second set of instructions - apprehend Santos and shut down the drug lab. The team will lose 250 points if they fail to apprehend Santos. Fletcher the Flautist gets flagged but everyone else does complete the mission and Claggett does find and eliminate the hidden sniper before he can do any damage. In the words of Fletcher, 'Say no to drugs. If you don't you'll see us - you don't want to see us'.

They do apprehend Santos, but Fletcher's death does open the door for Charlie. Fletcher also has words for the Shadow Squad, 'They always kill the brother first - that's how it happens'. The death of 'The Brother' means that Charlie can win and pull the shocker of the year off if: 1. They don't lose anyone, 2. They apprehend Santos, and 3. They complete the mission 6 minutes faster that Bravo.  The chanes of that happening are around the same at the Chicago Bulls and Vancouver Grizzlies meeting in the 2002 NBA FInals, but lets make fun of them while we're here and enjoying the show, ok?

Charlie will now show us all how NOT to run a mission. 1. Misidentifying Santos, BAD.  Young, 'Unless Santos ate 8 packages of donuts before the mission, it ain't him.' No, you think? 2, Being spotted before getting set up to start the mission - VERY BAD. 3. Getting half of your squad killed (Young and Courtley) during the mission? VERY VERY BAD. How they actually completed the mission without losing the whole team, I have no clue, but needless to say, the Charlie squad does not shock the world and they get the collective dumb-ass awad of the episode just for showing up for the mission.

Courtley's final lament? 'I guess you have to make your own breaks, 'cause we're not getting any...I want to continue to play...I would like to be competitive until the last day.' - Uhhh...Courtley....your team hasn't been competitive since day 1.

We all know that Charlie gets eliminated - let's see the final carnage:
Bravo:
1075-50 (1 person killed)-135 (27 Minutes taken) = 890
Charlie: 
1000 - 100 (2 people killed) - 125 (25 Minutes Taken) - 250 (Failure to arrest Santos) = 525

So Charlie leaves the game just like they went into it - with nothing. The team goes a perfect 0-6 and we get to see a montage of their greatest triumphs....except they didn't have any greatest triumphs, so its pretty much a list of their really bad moments.

And maybe none worse than the way that they leave. They all salute to Rudy wearing nothing but their jockstraps and their suitcases.  No one can keep a straight face, and Rudy can't get through his speech at the end. 'Men, it's been a pleasure, and I'm....I'm......(chuckles).'  He can't get through the speech, and all of Charlie discharges themselves (fortunately, they don't do THAT on camera), with their fannies in full view on the screen. 

Next week - the other semi-final with Delta and Alpha. You have a feeling that if Delta loses, that the whole team would show up Buck Naked?

March 20 2002
On this episode of Combat Missions, the 3-1 Delta's go after the 0-4 Charlies. Delta needs this one to have any chance at first place in the team standings. Charlie is playing for pride (ie. they have nothing to play for, and no chance to win).

Here's the 4-1 Delta Squad:
John Teeple - ELIMINATED
BAZ
Garth Estadt
Scott Helvenston
John Nutter
John Winn
REPLACEMENT - GEORGE CIGANIK

and Here's Chuckles...I mean Charlie
Ed Bugarin - ELIMINATED
Ossie Crenshaw
Jeff Everage - ELIMINATED
Ken Greaves
John Potter - ELIMINATED
Justin Young
REPLACEMENT  - WILSON WONG - ELIMINATED
REPLACEMENT - CHRIS ' CADE' COURTLEY
REPLACEMENT - JONATHAN WEBER

Rudy starts this thing off, 'Ive been made aware that one of you men wants to make this personal...don't let that happen'.  The men described by Boesch is Charlie's Cade Courtley and Delta's Scott Helvenston - as Cade started yapping at Scott during the last love-fest (see the I love Scott Helventon episode earlier down the page). And they are still sniping at it, 'One of these people does not represent the community that the rest of us are a part of'. Meanwhile, Helvenston wants Cade (AKA 'Pierre') to challenge him one on one for a 100 point bonus for the team. Do I need to get Jeff Gillooly in there to break you 2 up?

Meanwhile, Crenshaw has been sitting in Jody's world a little bit too long. 'We have skill and luck on our side - I don't see how we can be defeated'. Uhhh...sorry to bring reality into this conversation, Ossie, but you guys DON'T HAVE ANY WINS. I don't see how you can win.

And they don't start the win streak in the Obstacle course, either - and it's because of Crenshaw. He does not listen to direction, only using his legs on the rope climb, and he doesnt jump off of the wall after the wall climb - daintly crawling down - that proves to be the difference, as Garth Estadt twists his ankle and the rest of Delta has to drag him over the finish line - but they do it, and the only way they could have done it is thanks to the lead thay they got because of Crenshaw.

'When the team tells you to jump, you jump.' says Courtley. 'When the team tells you to use your legs, you use your legs'. You get that feeling that Crenshaw is going to learn that when the teams tells you that you're getting voted out, you're getting voted out?

But not everything is smiles in Camp Delta. Estadt has a sprained ankle, and is questionable for the main mission. Meanwhile, Charlie is already talking about who they are going to get rid of, should they lose the mission. That's confidence for you, right there.

Charlie does get some confidence by finally winning an event. The Transition Drill features 5 targets that need to be hit in succession by each member of the team. Charlie gets the win by a few seconds, and they get the 25 bonus points. The Delta lead going into the mission is cut to 25. 

Estadt, while injured, is talking to his wife and son. He also shows the world pictures of his family and mom, while Estadt is to the point of tears. Awwwwwwwwwbarf.

The Mission is called Missile Hangar. The teams have to destroy the comunications tower, repel into an abandoned building filled with enemy agents, and retrieve an attache case that contains a missile guidance system. There is an ATF agent, Todd Nelson, that the teas need to bring back with them. If they fail to do that, then the team loses 100 points.


Delta goes firstBaz is the only person who uses a mirror and isloates who exactly Nelson is. Delta attacks and they lose Ciganik, Estadt and Baz, but they do get rid of everyone, and they become the first team to find and return Nelson. They complete the course in 13 minutes, and they put the pressure on Charlie. Helvenston leaves the open challenge for Courtley, 'Keep your mouth shut and show me' Courtley respond by saying, 'It's our turn to take one of the ops.'

Well, Cade, it may be your turn next week, but not this week. Courtley, like most of the captains of Charlie, pulls the dumb-ass move of the episode and attacks immediately as they charge the shadow squaders - who happened to be behind boxes at the time. Let's see - people hiding behind boxes vs. people running up blindly towards them - any guesses on who wins this one? Shadow Squad only lose 2 members, while Charlie loses all of theirs. Charlie gets the second Total Mission Failure of the season.

The Delta's are, of course, cocky. 'We're going to win the (bleeping) thing with a (bleeping) gimp.' Says Helvenston. 'I hope maybe he (Courtley) does learn something from this.' Chralie's Young, on the other hane, 'I thought we were going to walk away with it. We got it in the crotch.' Ouch. Lets, just for the heck of it, see the scores:

Delta:
1050 - 150 (3 Dead) - 65 (13 minutes) = 835 Points
Charlie:
1025 - TOTAL MISSION FAILURE (1025 point penalty) = 0 points

Crnshaw, Young, and Courtley all volunteer to be removed from Charlie (like rats deserting a sinking team), but Crenshaw, with his completely underwhelming performance in the obstacle course (and the water, and almost everything else that's physical) gets the boot. 'If they are not thinking positive and they are not 100% sure, then they are holding us back' says Courtley.

Here are your standings after 5 games:
Bravo 5-0
Delta 4-1
Alpha 1-4
Charlie 0-5

According to Rudy, next week is round 3 - if you lose this time, your whole team is out. But Bravo and Delta (And Alpha and Charlie) have only met each other once - so don't they have to face each other one more time? And in next week's promos, they have 2 teams in what they are calling the finals? Huh? Did someone at USA really drop the ball and tell us 3 weeks early who the 2 teams in the finals (as well as the winning team) are? Hopefully, next week's episode will shed some light on this...

March 13 2002
This week - we have the 1-3 Alphas going against the 4-0 Bravo squad. A Bravo win will give the at least a tie for the best regular season record - yes, the NCAA Madness has taken me full swing. The loser gets to send one man home to watch the rest of the basketball tournament.

Let's meet the Alpha's (or whats left of them):

Dan O'Shea - ELIMINATED
Marc Jackson
Frank Monestre - ELIMINATED
Scott Oates
Chris Pate - ELIMINATED
Mel Spicer
REPLACEMENT - HARALD ZUNDEL
REPLACEMENT - ERIC JOHNSON
And the Bravos, with the perfect 4-0 record:
Jeff Byers
Steve Claggett
Mark Corwin
Dexter Fletcher
Bob Kain
Jody Taylor - MEDICAL LEAVE
REPLACEMENT - SEAN SIRKER
(NO ONE ELIMINATED)

Because of Jody Taylor's medical absence last time, bravo gets Sean Sirker, who is a green beret, and who is significantly bigger and stronger than Taylor. That does not phase Alpha at all. "We have 5 tough guys - we are going to be the first team to give Bravo it's first loss.'

Sean gets to hang out with team Bravo - and he finds that they are not all completely mentally balanced. First is a trip into Jody's world - which consists of Sirker sitting in Jody's chair and staring out at everyone. Then, Sirker gets to see a bunch of pictures of a leather coated, half-naked Fletcher, which does not maye Sirker a happy puppy.  'I found those pictures a little disturbing. A man doesn't show another man those sort of pictures without some sort of ulterior motive'.

The newest replacment for Alpha, Eric Johnson decides to talk some some old-school trash about Bravo. 'I thought it would be a total travesty to see bravo get to the finals on full strength'. His continued trash talking gets the ire of new Alpha captain Mel Spicer.

But the ire sees to fire up the team for the first training excercise - Rope Climb. Climb up and down a rope. fire your weapon, then run back to your troops. The winning team gets 25 points towards the mission. Sirker starts for Bravo - and he can't get up the rope. He gets halfway up, then falls down again. By the time he finally does get up the rope, 3 Alphas have completed the climb. Needless to say, Bravo does not win the event, and needless to say, Bravo is not happy with Sirker, according to Jeff Byers, 'We were hoping for Superman, and we didn't get him'.

It gets worse on the second training excercise. Double Pit Cross. The teams have to do both running and swiming excercises around an obstacle course, and Sirker, who is not a good swimmer, asks to sit out. Bravo has to sit out a man, so that is no problem, but with no Superman, the Bravo team takes a kryptonite bath and Alpha wins easily. 2 things are very evident. 1. Bravo is horrific at these physical challenges, and 2. if they lose the Mission, then Sirker is only getting camera time for one episode.

The Mission is called Missile Hangar. The teams have to destroy the comunications tower, rappel into an abandoned building filled with enemy agents, and retrieve an attache case that contains a missile guidance system. There is an ATF agent, Todd Nelson, that the team needs to bring back with them. If they fail to do that, then the team loses 100 points.

'I am one of the luckiest guys in the world, with the best team on a winning streak, says Sirker. Alpha agrees, seeing that they need the lead because, 'The mission is right up Bravo's alley'. Since it is a SWAT Based mission, Jackson, the lone SWAT person in a team of SEALS, lays out the game plan. And, like the last time he laid out a SWAT game plan, no one decides to listen to him.

Meanwhile, Sirker is excited about the mission. 'This will give me my first opportunity to show my stuff' And if Bravo blows it, it will probably be your last opportunity to show your stuff.

Bravo starts it off this time. They activate the system and they rappel down into the building with no problems.  When they get into the main room, they shoot everything that moves - including the ATF agent. Oops. They do complete the mission, but not without Byers and Corwin getting killed. Still they finish it up in a quick 8 minutes, but they left the door wide open if Alpha doesn't royally screw up. 'We can't be much worse than that' and 'Alpha team is going to have to mess up real bad for us to win' are the 2 common sentiments from the Bravo team.

Meanwhile, Alpha - Eric Johnson specifically, is full of confidence. According to Spicer, 'When E.J. (Eric Johnson) says he is God, I think he means it.' From Johnson himself, 'I am the eyes and ears of the team at this point'.

If that was the case, then Johnson played a very good version of Helen Keller in their mission. Zundel rappels down into the building, only to have the weapon smack himself in the face. A bloody Alpha team goes in firing, and the ATF agent flees, so Alpha also loses 100 points. Their tactics are nowhere near as good as Bravo's - Jackson, the squad leader, gets killed first, and then Spicer follows. Zundel and Johnson are next, and only Scott Oates survives the mission. Bravo needed an Alpha royal mess-up - and they got it, as Bravo once again wins a mission they did not deserve to. Here is the final box Scores:

Bravo:
1000 points - 100 (2 Dead) - 100 (Loss of ATF Agent) - 40 (8 minutes) = 760
Alpha:
1075 points - 200 (4 dead) - 100 (Loss of ATF Agent) - 55 (11 Minutes) = 720

Sirker breathes a sigh of relief. The Bravo's undefeated streak breathes a sigh of relief. Alpha has to lose a second man.

Rudy thinks that loyalty will rule in the vote - and he's right - but not in the way that he is thinking. While Jackson is the only SWAT person (so you would think the Seals would stay with his own), Spicer wants the 4 people that were around the longest to stay as a unit - which leaves Johnson the odd man out. The squad agrees, and to the dismay of Johnson, Squad Loyalty overrides SEAL Loyalty, and Johnson is eliminated. Jackson, Oates, Zundel, and Spicer are left, as Alpha faces a losing team gets eliminated match-up with Charlie.

Bravo 5-0
Delta 3-1
Alpha 1-3
Charlie 0-4

March 6 2002
This week's episode features the 3-0 Bravo team against the 0-3 Charlie Team.
Can anyone guess what's going to happen here?

(From Jason:  I'm always one to root for the underdog...so it'll be Charlie, right?  Oh...guess not.)

Here is the 3-0 (soon to be 4-0) Bravo Squad:
Jeff Byers
Steve Claggett
Mark Corwin
Dexter Fletcher
Bob Kain
Jody Taylor
(NO ONE ELIMINATED)

And their opponents - the 0-3 (soon to be 0-4) Charlie Squad:
Ed Bugarin - ELIMINATED
Ossie Crenshaw
Jeff Everage - ELIMINATED
Ken Greaves
John Potter - ELIMINATED
Justin Young
REPLACEMENT  - WILSON WONG
REPLACEMENT - CHRIS ' CADE' COURTLEY
REPLACEMENT - JONATHAN WEBER

Bravo needs the win to go to 4-0 and to avoid dropping into a tie with the very dangerous (to themselves and everyone else) Delta Squad. Charlie...well...just why does Charlie need a win here, anyways?

But there may be some hope for Charlie - Jody Taylor is injured with a sprained/twisted left knee, which he suffered on the obstacle course. But he says he's going to 'Suck it up and go with it'

Meanwhile in the Charlie team, there's been a change in attitude, and a change in leadership - Cade Courtley is now the new team leader. Justin Young explains, 'Cade may be the shot in the ass to get things going.' Ken Greavec sontinues by saying that the team has been changed to 'Team Chuck'. Well, if you keep losing missions, you may as well change it to Team Chuckles, since it will mean that you the constant source of comedy and entertinament in the camp.

Speaking of comedy, the training exercise will be helocasting, which will require people to do some swimming - one person, specifically, Crenshaw, did not do too well while in the water in the last stunt (Reminder  - Crenshaw suffered uscle seizures and cramped in the water, which cause the tea to have to save him and the excersice to be lost to Team Delta). A quick recap - 4 people jump from a helicopter - they meet 2 people with packs and gear swiming fro the other side - together they get into a raft, turn it over, and then paddle it back to the starting point. 75 points goes to the winning team.

The Charlie team get good communication going between each other and get Crenshaw into the boat. Bravo get into the boat, but there was no comunication between Jody Taylor and Bob Kain, who screw up the paddle distribution. This gives Charlie the extra time that they need, and they pull
out the win for the extra 75 points.

Bravo may be 3-0 on the missions, but they are now 1-3 on the training excercises, a fact not lost on the team.  Byers; "We've been pulling it out in the end - we can't do it forever." jody Taylor agrees, "I don't know what we'd do if we weren't behind. This will bite us in the ass soetime - it may
be this time."

Charlie, on the other hand, is pumped now that they finally won something. "This gives us a lot more enthusiasm" says Wilson Wong. Also something to give them enthusiasm - the fact that Bravo has zero experience in doing something like the Combat Mission that they will be doing.

And the mission?
It's called Pilot Down - a pilot is down in enemy territory. The tea has to get to him before Shadow Squad does. They have to rescue him and get to the extract point. If it gets compromised, then you have to go to a second extract point much further away.

Charl...er...Chuck starts the mission first, and in the words of  new recruit Weber, 'When we crush this mission, everyone's going to see that we're the new team in town." They get to the pilot without losing a man, and are still intact when the copter goes down, which forces them another 400 meters to the second extraction point. Ossie gets killed on the way to the second point, but everyone else makes it and they complete the mission in 22 minutes. Crenshaws death, however, opens the door to Bravo, who could yet again pull another mission out of their butt if everyone remains alive and the mission is completed in under 17 minutes. As a side note, Crenshaw has been killed in 3 of the 4 missions that Charlie has been in - and Crenshaw is wondering if his death this time around will be the deciding factor.

Bravo must be perfect and quick. But quick is not in the vocabulary of Jody Taylor right now. His body is starting to break down and he is complaining yet again aboud hauling a 50 pound pack with him wherever he goes. The sprained leg that he got on the obstacle course is starting to take its toll.

But the squad does get through the mission unscathed, despite the slowness of Taylor, who gets himself isolated for the rest of the group but manages to get back on the team. They needed to not lose any one - and they didn't. The question is - did they complete it fast enough?

Both camps discuss who they are going to get rid of. In Charlie Camp, Crenshaw volunteers, since he was the guy who got shot, so if it's bacause of them, then he should go. Bravo is a much tougher case to call. A visit to the medic shows that Taylor now also has a bruised quad, and one good hard shot on the leg could result on it giving out and him not being able to walk away from the camp. Taylor remains undaunted, 'My heart is bigger than my brain', but he is thinking about medically discharging himself - if he does that, then the team can go into the Dossier Room to pick out a new member - which they are allowed to do if someone leaves due to a medical discharge. The rest of Bravo decides to wait for the results of the vote, but they have the person who is gone, if they do suffer their first loss.

And here are those results:
Charlie:
1075 - 50 (1 Dead) - 110 (22 minutes) = 915
Bravo:
1000 - 0 (0 Dead) - 75 (15 Minutes) = 925

Bravo stays undefeated and Team Chuck turns into team Chuckles with their 0-4 record.

But despite the victory, Taylor has decided that he has had enough. 'They need someone who is healthy and bigger' Taylor explains as he medically discharges himself. The team picks up Sean Sirken from Special Forces as their new team member.

But we haven't heard the end of Taylor yet. In his final version of Taylor's world, Jody says goodbye to everyone - while they are showering - with the camera showing them in all of their glory. Well, he almost got all of them. 'I was scared to get Bob, 'cause I thought Bob would find me and kill me.'

Another departure - but this one not as pleasant. Charlie gets rid of one of their own, but in a surprise move, Wilson Wong sacrifices himself and resigns to save Crenshaw, who Wong says 'is the heart and the soul of the team'. So Wong becomes the first replacement to get eliminated in the game as Charlie now plays with 5 people.

We end this episode with the final Taylor rant. 'If I ever see another rock sack, I will set it on fire...say Steve's name, Bob's name, and Major Dever's name, dance around it, and stomp on it graciously!' So tell us Jody, what do you really think of those rock sacks?

Next episode - Alpha gets bloody, and Bravo realizes that a crippled Taylor may be better than a healthy Sirken.

Standings:
Bravo 4-0
Delta 3-1
Alpha 1-3
Charlie 0-4

February 27 2002
Here we go with the start of the second set of matches for Combat Missions.
Let's quickly recap the teams evolution to this point.

Starting with the 1-2 Alphas:
Dan O'Shea
Marc Jackson
Frank Monestre - ELIMINATED
Scott Oates
Chris Pate - ELIMINATED
Mel Spicer
REPLACEMENT - HARALD ZUNDEL
REPLACEMENT - ERIC JOHNSON

And their opponents - The 2-1 Delta Squad -
John Teeple - ELIMINATED
BAZ
Garth Estadt
Scott Helvenston
John Nutter
John Winn
REPLACEMENT - GEORGE CIGANIK

Rudy Boesch addresses the troops to start this episode. Welcome to round 2 - this time around, if you lose a mission, you do not get to replace anyone, and you have to play short handed. We have the 2-1 Delta Squad Vs. the 1-2 Alpha Squad in a must win game - must win not only because if you lose, you play short-handed, but also because 3-0 Bravo could run away with it if Delta does not win tonight.

And speaking of Delta, it looks like this will be the all about Scott Helvenston episode. Boesch - ,"I wish I was half as good as he is, but he's got a big mouth. Muhammad Ali had a big mouth but he can back it up. I think Helvenston can back it up too." LAPD's Don Anderson - "He's done a good job but he's a trouble-maker" Alpha's Dan O'Shea -'He's an impish little child'.

In the first bonus mission, Rifle Marksmanship, Helvenston starts to talk trash - especially when Alpha is up 6-4 after the first round, and 16-9 in the second. 'You can throw a round, Bubba', directed to the rest of Delta when they knew that Alpha couldn't catch up. Delta wins, 20-12, they get 25 points, and Helvenston has a bulls-eye starting to form on his butt.

The bulls-eye gets finished in the next event - but before we get there, it's time to see the main mission - it's called Pilot Down - a pilot is down in enemy territory. The tea has to get to him before Shadow Squad does. They have to rescue him and get to the extract point. If it gets compromised, then you have to go to a second extract point much further away.

The 50 point bonus event is the return of Thr Grid - knock the opposing team off of the Grid into the pool using pugile sticks. You must keep your hands on the sticks at all times - something that Delta ignores the first 2 times that it happens, and the first and second times they play it is nullified.
But that gives Helvenston more than enough time to trash talk. He and O'Shea get into it, then Spicer, then Oates, then the rest of the Alpha Team. "You ain't got no honor' mocks Helvenston, shaking his hips like Boy George.

Delta does, however, get the last laugh, as they knock all of the Alphas into the water to become 2-0 in the Grid. 'Are you not entertained?' yells BAZ afterwards. And more trash talking from Helvenston to O'Shea continues. Despite Helvenston's actions, the Delta squad stands behind him. 'You touch one of our boys, we're gonna hammer you' sayd Garth Estadt. On the other side of the coin, Scott Oates reacts, 'I'm so pissed I want to cry.'

Alpha is looking to bitch-slap Helvenston back to his momma, but Reese, trying to calm things down, calls a meeting at 1800 hours. Alpha's Mell Spicer reacts by saying "First we try diplomacy...then by any means necessary.'

At the meeting, Rudy starts. 'Is there anybody that is pissed off at anybody else?' And O'Shea immediately jumps on Helvenston. Helvenston's response? 'Wah', as he gets into the fact that it's all a game and that he wants to mess with the other team's minds - and if he does, then he's doing his job. 'Is there anyone else embarrassed by my behavior?' he asks.

'I AM' Replies Major Dever, one of the judges of the game. 'You're embarrassing all of us as seals.' says Dever. Helvenston retorts, 'The only people who's opinions that I care about is my teams.', and that response gets a visible shudder from team leader BAZ. After the meeting, BAZ tries to make nice-nice with Alpha, but the damage has been done. 'I went through third grade, and I don't want to go back there' says Charlie's Cade Courtley.

Meanwhile, Rudy. who suggests settling it with a boxing match, then changes his mind when he realizes that they probably would hurt each other, says 'All you have to do is to keep your mouth shut for 2 weeks. How you'll be able to do that, I don't know, but try it and you can do it.' The only person who seems to have a calm head through all of this is Helvenston himself. 'I got 75 points, but it's all for naught if we don't take care of business.'

And Delta, with the 75 point advantage, starts the business at hand. BAZ makes Helvenston the second-in command, which basically lets Helvenston hoist himself by his own petard if he screws up the mission. But Delta is smooth and gets to the pilot with no lost men. They get to the first extraction point, where a helicopter is waiting for them - but they miss the hidden Shadow Squad members who shoot the plane down, and the tea ust hit the second extraction point - over 400 yards away. Ouch.

It takes 4 men to cart the pilot around, and they lose Ciganik, but they do get to the extraction point and complete the mission in 32 minutes. The loss of Ciganik, and the fact that they had to move to the second extraction point does open up the door for Alpha to sneak out the win if they perform
flawlessly - and they are certainly motivated to do just that, as in the words of Scott Oates, 'We're not going to have Scott Helvenston yelling at us and telling us what idiots we are'.

The Alpha squad does get to the pilot much faster than Delta does, but they make their fatal move early as Oates gets taken out. That kills the chance at the win, and just to put the nail in the coffin, the Shadow Squad forces the Alphas into the second extraction point and pulls off a successful ambush that takes out 3 more Alphas. Only O'Shea and Johnson are alive to complete the mission, and they do finish it quicker, but too many men lost make this a fate accompli.

Delta: 1075 - 50 (1 dead) - 160 (32 minutes) = 865
Alpha: 1000 - 200 (4 dead) - 140 (28 minutes) = 660

The Delta's win and Scott tells the team what idiots they are. Well, he doesn't, but he does have a big smirk that is as wide as Texas. Oates gets a verbal barb in, 'Maybe if he wins he can use the money to get some (psychiatric) help.' But BAZ gets the last laugh, 'I'm sure Scott wants to go down...say 'neener, neener. neener', drop his pants, and say kiss my ass, but he won't do that, cause that's the way we are.' Uhhh....Baz....you have one Mr. Rod Nutter who likes flashing everything that moves, what makes you think that people dropping their trowsers aren't the way you are?

Delta does predict that the captain will go down with the ship - and they are right, as O'Shea, convinced that the team needs to refocus, takes himself out of the contest. Alpha now has to go the rest of the way short-handed, and O'Shea's final words, 'I think (Helvenston) has burnt a brodge with the Seal Comunity'. Maybe, but he's still in it, but O'Shea has burnt a bridge with the first prize community, since he is now out of the competition.

Standings:
Bravo 3-0
Delta 3-1
Alpha 1-3
Charlie 0-3

February 20 2002
A very critical episode here for three of the teams. Bravo (2-0) faces Alpha (1-1) this week. A Bravo win puts them clearly in the driver's seat as the only 3-0 team. Al Alpha win, however, puts them and Delta all tied for first with 2-1 marks (with Charlie being everyone's rented mule with an 0-3 mark).

We are actually going to go with the mission first, since it's been alluded at at the very beginning of the episode. The mission, like last episodes, is Hostage Rescue (go into urban building and save hostage from Shadow Squad). This is clearly playing right into the strengths of the mostly SWAT-Team Laden Bravo squad - and Alpha knows this. The question is - what will Alpha try to pull from their bag of tricks to turn the tide - and will what they pull out bag be legal?

Lets meet the teams, starting with 2-0 Bravo:
Jeff Byers
Steve Claggett
Mark Corwin
Dexter Fletcher
Bob Kain
Jody Taylor
(NO ONE ELIMINATED)

And their opponents, the 1-1 Alpha Squad:
Dan O'Shea
Marc Jackson
Frank Monestre
Scott Oates
Chris Pate - ELIMINATED
Mel Spicer
REPLACEMENT - HARALD ZUNDEL

Alpha does have one SWAT person as a member of their team - Marc Jackson, who is brimming with confidence. Dan O'Shea akes the redundant comment of the episode, saying, "We're thrilled to have him on the team". You better be thrilled, since he is your only shot at winning this mission. O'Shea is visiting Bravo camp every day, trying to be nice and friendly in order to get any semblance of strategy, but Bravo is not buying O'Shea's steaming pile of monkey crap. Steve Claggett puts it bluntly - 'We think that he may be having Bravo Team Envy'. Bravo, with 4 people on their team (Taylor, Claggett, Bob Kain and Dexter Fletcher) from SWAT-land (who do these sort of missions every day), are far from concerned, and Jody Taylor says, "We feel very confident that we can beat Alpha in this Mission."

One thing that Bravo can not beat Alpha (or anyone else, for that matter) in is any physical challenges. And this 50 point pre-mission bonus is an obstacle course, which consists of using a rope to get over a wall, going over and under logs, a rope hill and climb, log step climb and 10 foot jump, wading through a pool of cold water, sliding/falling down a cargo net, and then a small sprint to the end. You may as well put the win in the Alpha column and not even bother with the event, but they ran it anyway, with predictable results. Alpha pulled ahead during the log step climb and ran away with it, completing it while Bravo was on the cargo net.

Needless to say, the Bravo people were less than thrilled with what they did on the stunt. 'I had a one point landing on my head' said Bob Kain, and Jody Taylor added, "I  don't have to go 3,000 miles (to take this abuse), I can take this abuse from my wife and kids.' The only way Alpha would have any shot at beating bravo was to get the points advantage going into the mission, and right now, they are 50 up.

Bravo does not seeed too concerned, as they are too busy making fun of Taylor, calling the place where he sits and his area that he has in the tent 'Jody's World'. None of his team can figure out why he weirds out when he gets to that state, as according to Claggett, 'We're not sure what happens when you go there (Jody's World)'.

Time for the mission - and the recap from last episode - Don Anderson from the LAPD SWAT Team describes the mission: The main mission is Hostage Rescue. Linda Morris gets shot in the leg and the teams need to resuce her. One of the people need to relieve the police officer on the scene, who will tell them as much info as he can. Everyone else has to go in, rescue the hostage, and get out. There are civillians all over the place, who also are equipped with laser vests. Shooting a civillian will cost the team 50 points, in addition to the usual penalties. If Linda Morris gets killed, the team loses 250 points.

For Bravo, Bob Kain takes over as the leader, and everyone just shuts up and listens, while in Alpha Camp, Jackson, who everyone knows it the main guy for this mission, gets constantly questioned by captain Mel Spicer. Scott Oates tries to get a sense of reason into the group by stating, 'We should all be quiet, do what Marc tells us to do, and stop second guessing him', but the group is trying to do whatever they can to get the edge in.

Frank "French" Monastre understands how important his job is, he is the counter-sniper - he is supposed to eliminate all sniper attacks, and since we all know about the hidden sniper (if you saw the last episode synopsis, that is), his performance will be vital to the team's mission. Kain, who is in the same real-life squad as Jackson, knows how important Jackson's job is, since he has to teach all of these people everything in one day, or in his words, 'Turn the students into experts".

Dan O' Shea knows his role is important too, as commits the dumb-ass move of the episode by suggesting thay they cover the main hostage with a parka when they get her. That will protect her from shock - but that will also cover the Miles Laser system, so that she can not get registered as being hit with enemy fire (and the team can't lose 250 points if they lose her in the mission). This would be falling under the general principal that we all commonly recognize as 'Cheating', but although people are cringing (specifically Frank Monastre), no one (including Monastre) is actively
objecting (probably because they know they have to do everything to beat Bravo), so away they go.

Bravo goes in, gets the hostage, comes out - and gets it done in an amazing 6 minutes. But the hidden sniper gets Taylor, and that gives Alpha some breathing room. While the copter is flying the Alphas to their mission, you can hear Jackson in the background say, 'Under stress, you can resort back to your old training'. That's exactly what O'Shea does, as he gets too aggressive when it comes to getting the hostage and he gets gunned down. But the rest of the group get the hostage - and cover her and the miles laser system gear up. Monastre does get the hidden sniper before the sniper takes anyone fr the Alpha tea out, and they complete the mission with only O'Shea being eliminated.

The Alphas look like they are going to knock off Team Bravo - until Don Anderson sees that the hostage was covered. 'You were told not to cover up the Miles Laser System'. Team Alpha start saying that they were going to cover her for shock, but Ansderson and Referree/Judge/Major Dever are not buying Alpha's steaming line of monkey crap. 'Why did you cover it up? Which one of you guys came up with the idea to cover it up?' O'Shea confesses that is was him, and Dever puts it bluntly, 'O'Shea, you cost your team 250 points! Remember that O' Shea, it was you that cost the team 250 points!' O'Shea looks like he's going to cry, and this will be the second time that Bravo should have lost a mission, but will win it instead thanks to the incompetency of the other team - but for the record, lets tally up the points -

Bravo = 1000 - 50 (1 Dead) - 30 (6 Minutes) = 920
Alpha = 1050 - 50 (1 Dead) - 45 (9 Minutes) = 955

Alpha Wins!....oh...wait a second...

955 - 250 (Idiotic Dumbass Move of the Episode by Dan O'Shea penalty) = 705

Bravo improves to 3-0. Alpha has to discharge one of their own.
So which one goes? Will it be O'Shea, who made the dumbass move? What about Spicer, who wants to be discharged since he got into a fight with Dever and thinks that Dever is a (mule)hole? Or Marc Jackson, who was the team leader and lost?

Well, if you follow the Marc Burnett strategy, you know that all of these people are safe - instead it goes to the person least in the spotlight who is the most likely to be gone - and that would be...

Frank Monastre, for 2 reasons: 1. He was the only person who had a problem with putting the parka on the hostage, but didn't voice his opinion, which cost his team the victory, and 2. if you look at last episode, he was the person who was going to be eliminated if Alpha lost. In the words of O'Shea, I think 'French' realized that what he brought to the table was redundant.' Ouch. So, Monastre is gone and Eric 'Rough Neck' Johnson is brought in.

This ends the first round robin competition. If you lose from now on, you don't get to replace a guy and you have to be short-handed for the rest of the competition. And next week, O'Shea gets it on with Delta's emotional time bomb Scott Helvenston. Is it just me or did the room just get 10 degrees
hotter? 

February 13 2002
This week's battle features the trials and torments of the 0-2 Charlie Team. They have been squabbling all of last episode and after an argument in philosophy, John Potter gets the boot after a failed leadership coup attempt. Their opponents? A  very united, very pissed off 1-1 Delta Team who feels they should be 2-0 if not for a dumb move from ex-captain John Teeple. Teeple is gone, BAZ is your new leader, and they want to prove a point by making an example over Charlie. Usually, in this scenario, with the Marc Burnett rules, this would mean that Charlie wins tonight, but they have been so inept and fractured (read: Samburu) that it looks like my prediction in the first episode (they are not going to last long) is going to come true.

Let's meet the Delta Team:
John Teeple - ELIMINATED
BAZ
Garth Estadt
Scott Helvenston
John Nutter
John Winn
REPLACEMENT - GEORGE CIGANIK

And now, the soon to be 0-3 Charlie Team:
Ed Bugarin
Ossie Crenshaw
Jeff Everage - ELIMINATED
Ken Greaves
John Potter - ELIMINATED
Justin Young
REPLACEMENT  - WILSON WONG
REPLACEMENT - CHRIS ' CADE' COURTLEY

And now, the Mark Burnett rules:

1. In the first 2 episodes, make the person the most visible the person who gets booted. (Everage, Pate)
2. After that, spend a lot of time on someone to make the people think that this person is next, but have someone who also makes enough make mistakes to be eliminated but doesn't have as much air time and get rid of him instead (profile Scott Helvenston, John Teeple eliminated, profile Bugarin, Potter eliminated).
3. Make sure that the winner is seen to make a storyline with in the episodes that his team is on where he does a decent aount of narrating without showing much of his personality early (Most likely candidates to be winner this early in the game: Jody Taylor, BAZ, Mel Spicer - I would add Crenshaw to this list, but he's in Charlie, and they're not wining).  Just my early predictions as we start into the episode.

And we start with the self-professed 'Over the Hill Gang' Charlie trying to get a little under the hill by adding Chris 'Cade' Courtley into his squad - and Charlie immediately gets to be assigned to the outside of the group by Bugarin. 'He seems to want to take over as leader' says Bugarin. Well, everyone probably does, since the team is 0-2, and leader Bugarin definately feels like he's on the hot seat.

As for Delta, they feel immediately renewed with the emergence of BAZ as leader, as he inducts George Ciganik into the group with his team and with this anecdote. 'You have a red dog, which is filled with negative energy, and a white dog, who is filled with positive energy. If you put both dogs in a fight, do you know which dog wins?...The dog that you have fed the most...We will be the same Delta that we were when we started." Based on these 2 opening paragraphs, Charlie is headed back to the discharge room.

This combat mission is a SWAT mission - and Charlie has 2 SWAT members on their team - Crenshaw and Wong, who have been partners together for over 4 years. They think that they have the edge. They do a profile on Crenshaw, who spend 21 years with SWAT experience.  This leads into the Combat Mission bonus point contest - Double Pit Cross. Cross the first pit by walking over a rope bridge. Cross the second pit by swiming in a sub 50 degreee pool. Whoever gets all of their team members over first gets 50 points towards their mission.

Crenshaw gets to be profiled in this event too, but not in a positive way. When he jumps in the very cold water, his muscles seisure out and he starts to drown. Bugarin and his partner Wong come to his aid as the team gets him to the side of the pool for safety. The good news is that Crenshaw is safe, but the bad news is that since one of their members didn't complete the stunt, all the other team has to do is to complete the stunt, regardless of time and they win the points, which is exactly what Delta does.

Crenshaw is understandably miffed. "You tell the team I'm sorry, but that doesn't add 50 points to your score." But it does add a bulls-eye to your back if you're team loses  the main combat mission.

But before we do that, a little light hearted fun with Team Delta. BAZ starts to describe his team when a naked John Nutter storms out of the lodge, wearing a cape (but thats it) yelling, "I'm super soldier! Whooooo!!!", and then runs back into the lodge. BAZ finishes the interview by saying, "Well I
was going to talk about my team, but I think that, well, that says it all." 

Apparently, Nutter likes showing off his privates to the camera on more than one occasion. Rudy ends that as he calls Nutter into his office. "Maybe I should send all 4 squads over so you can go and get it over with". Responds Nutter, "That will not be necessary" and that ends that.

The main mission is Hostage Rescue. Linda Morris gets shot in the leg and the teams need to resuce her. One of the people need to relieve the police officer on the scene, who will tell them as much info as he can. Everyone else has to go in, rescue the hostage, and get out. There are civillians all over the place, who also are equipped with laser vests. Shooting a civillian will cost the team 50 points, in addition to the usual penalties.

Both teams rehearse for the mission differently. Charlie lets Crenshaw be the leader, since he has the experience with these sort of missions.  Bugarin explains, "The way this mission is, the SWATS and Crenshaw will be our strong suit." Strong suit, or lack of confidence in the current leader? Delta uses a cardboard model of the place and they spend time rehearsing rescue tactics in the Mess Hall. Helvenston bitches that this isn't the type of room that they will actually be in, but the rest of the team shuts him up quickly.

Charlie rehearses outside at night, and avoide going into the Snake Pit - where Delta is enjoying the night and talking smack about Charlie. As John Winn explains, "Everyone beats up on Charlie squad. I feel bad for them." Preparation edge and planning: Delta.

But it's Charlie who goes first on the mission. Wong replaces the officer on duty and the rest of the team goes into the building. They lose Greaves before they get to the hostage, but they still have 5 people intact before leaving the building. But it's Ed Bugarin who again makes the dumbass move of
the episode by plopping a smoke screen on one side of their outside stairwell exit - but not the other, where a hidden sniper was waiting to pick them off like ducks in a barrel. And down went 3 Charlie quackers - so the only people left are Wong and Crenshaw. Wong finds the sniper and shoots at him while Crenshaw runs to Wong, carrying the hostage on his back. Charlie completes
the mission in a very quick 10 minutes, but they lose 4 men.

Delta's John Nutter relieves the officer at the scene, and the rest of the team goes into the building that the hostage is in. Thanks to their rehearsing, they don't lose anyone when getting the hostage, and a perfectly placed smoke bomb creates a smoke screen that the sniper can't hit anyone in. Nutter takes him out, and the team finishes the mission flawlessly. Again, a non-exciting wait to see who wins.  Here are the scores:

Charlie:
1000 - 4 Casualties (200) - 10 Minutes to complete the mission (50) = 750 points
Delta:
1050 - 0 Casualties (0) - 17 Minutes to complete the mission (85) = 965 points

So Delta wins, and in the words of Bugarin, "If the machine is oiled, it's time to fix it."
The normal reaction is that since Ossie Crenshaw goofed up the swim excercise, and that they profiled him and he's 0-1 as a leader, then he gets eliminated. But, if you quickly look up in the Mark Burnett rules (as seen above) then you know that he's safe - so you look for the person with not as
much air time who also has good reason to be eliminated. That would be Ed Bugarin, whom the team has lost all faith in since he was replaced by Crenshaw as captain. So the 51 year old king of the Old Farts gets the unanimous heave-ho from his teammates and he is the next person gone.
Bugarin's replacement - Jonathan Weber, another guy with a lot of strength and youth. I'm sure John Potter, who got tossed off last episode because the team wanted Bugarin to lead instead of himself, is laughing his fanny off right now. This is the last episode that you can add people - from now on, a
loss means you play short-handed from now on.

We end this episode with a quote from Bugarin which pretty much summarizes the Charlie team. When his team failed to rescue the 52 hostages in Iran in 1982, he got a message from a (failed) president Jimmy Carter, 'The greatest failure is the failure to try'. You can say that it's heart-warming, but my reaction is this - do you want someone who has failed continuously in
missions to be your team leader? Charlie did, and that led the team into its current state. And the massive leadership problems have gone full circle, as I don't see Charlie winning a single mission.

February 6 2002
Last week, we had the battle of the undefeateds. This week, we have the battle of the unwinnables. The losers boot another team member and precariously fall to 0-2 in the team standings.

This week we have Alpha Vs. Charlie - as a recap, here are the teams:

Alpha:
Dan O'Shea
Marc Jackson
Frank Monestre
Scott Oates
Chris Pate - ELIMINATED
Mell Spicer
REPLACEMENT - HARALD ZUNDEL

Charlie:
Ed Bugarin
Ossie Crenshaw
Jeff Everage - ELIMINATED
Ken Greaves
John Potter
Justin Young
REPLACEMENT  - WILSON WONG

So we have the inexperienced and Old Fart but strong Alpha vs. the experienced but Older Farts Charlie team. The Charlie team consists of special forces, as Ed Burgarin explains, "They teach you how to build a bridge and blow it up". John Potter is more succinct, "if someone needed to be killed, you kill them". Very nice, John. 

We're not even at the bonus mission yet and there's already griping in the Charlie Camp. Potter, believing that it's a thinking man's game, wants more experience, while Burgarin is looking for more size and strength. It's painfully obvious that Everage, the man eliminated when they drew swords back in Episode 1, was the glue of this team, and without him, this team is going nowhere. Wong seemed to be brought in more because he's a good friend of Ossie and Burgarun (read: voting insurance).

Alpha, on the other hand, is pleased that they have Harald Zundel in their camp, Nicknamed 'The German' the Alpha team is pumped. 'We are going to kick some major ass from now on' exclaims Zundel.

And in the first bonus points event, they do just that. The challenge is called The Grid - the objective is to push the members of the other team off of a grid they are on and into a pool using pugile sticks (this is the second stunt that they lifted off of American Gladiators). The winning team gets 75 points. Alpha has much more strength than the Charlie's - but they win this one using strategy. The Alphas go inside out and push the first group of Charlies in from the side. The rest of the Charlies were overwhelmed by numbers. "Once I was down...I wanted to hold on until the rest of the team assisted me. until I noticed that there were 5 yellow Jerseys in the water." That quote came from Crenshaw, and once he was down, the challenge was over. Alpha wins the event 5-1, and gets the bonus 75 points.

During the event, Justin Young gets his nose busted open and goes to see nurse Heather Cunningham, who bandages him up. He thinks that Heather has a crush on him. She is probably thinking that she should wrap his whole head in a bandage, not just his nose.

So we are up to the Mission: Prisoner Rescue - and here's the exact recap from last episode on it:

Prisoner Bill Nesby has information vital to national security, and he's been kidnapped. Rescue him by ambushing a truck with the number #13 on it. The truck will stop at a rest point - that would be the best time to ambush the truck and save the prisoner. Major Utterback has already told them that Delta failed to complete the task. Would you like some more iodine to pour into Deltas wounds, major?

How the teams have jelled together can be seen no clearer than right here. Charlies' Burgarin and Potter are squabbling with each other on how to complete the mission - and they are sniping at each other. 'John is more free-wheeling' explains Burgarin, while Potter thinks that since Burgarin screwed up the last mission, someone else should be making the decisions.

Meanwhile, in the Alpha Camp, everyone is also putting n their opinions, but they are all working together as a unit and Mel Spicer is grouping all of the suggestions into one cohesive plan. O'Brien says that Spicer is a 'natural-born leader'. And Marc Jackson chimes in. 'If we lose, I don't know what's going to happen'.

Meanwhile, Heather Cunningham is also doubling up as barber, and gives Rudy Boesch a haircut. That's nice. NEXT!

Here comes the mission - and once again Truck #23 sneaks past Truck #13 to go first. The Alphas attack it - but before it gets to the rest station, so it gets cut off from the help at the station. They wipe out first Truck #23, then the station. Jackson gets eliminated, but Truck #13 gets cut off too, so they are easy pickings. The Alphas complete the stunt in 20 minutes and only have one man dead.

According to Burgarin, 'We need to be 15 minutes faster than the Alpha team'. This would mean that they would have to complete the mission with one casualty in 4 minutes (which ain't going to happen) or they have to be perfect and complete it in 15 minutes (much more likely).

Charlie also decides to attack #23 first (leaving the Bravos the only team smart enough to let the bogus truck through). But Burgarin once again makes the dumbass move of the episode as they are caught advancing by the station guards. They fire - down goes Greaves, down goes Crenshaw, and down goes the Charlie's chances of winning. Let's do the recap for the hack of it though: by the time #13 gets there, only Burgarin and Wong are left, but they do take out #13 and they do complete the mission. As we all know though, Alpha takes this one, easily.

More sniping on the way back between Potter and Burgarin. 'When you retire, sometimes you lose track of things', gripes Potter, pointing to Burgarin's age. But there is one glaring statistic. In the last mission, Burgarin got 7 kills. Potter got zero.

Back in Alpha camp, they decide to figure out who they'll vote out just in case they do lose (they don't know how Charlie fared, of course). None of them want to draw swords, in case they pull what Charlie did and lose their best man. Jackson nominates himself, since he's the one that got killed, but O'Brien says 'We're stupid if we give up our SWAT guy.' Monastre says that though his skills have been useful now, they will probably be less so later, so he volunteers himself, and they all agree, though they are all sort of joking and none of them think that they really lost.

And the results are in:
Alpha: 1075 - 1 Dead (50) - 20 Minutes (100) = 925
Charlie: 1000 - 4 Dead (200) - 38 Minutes (190) = 610

Alpha wins in a rout.

Crenshaw says that they can't afford to pull swords again. Potter is campaigning for the leader spot, and Rudy agrees with the move. But almost no one else from Charlie does, and Wong is used as protection for Burgarin, as Potter gets voted out 4-2 over Bugarin. The team opts for brute force and size over experience, and they pick up Cade Courtley, and at the end of episode 4:

Bravo 2-0, Alpha and Delta 1-1, Charlie 0-2.

January 31 2002
So here we are, at episode three of Combat Missions. In this episode, the 2 unbeaten teams will take each other on - Bravo Vs. Delta. The SWAT boys against those goofy, personality filled Marines. And just for a reference point...:

Team Bravo:
Jeff Byers
Steve Claggett
Mark Corwin
Dexter Fletcher
Bob Kain
Jody Taylor

Team Delta:
Rod Teeple - Captain
BAZ
Garth Estadt
Scott Helvenston
John Nutter
John Winn

Previously - Delta sneaks past Charlie, despite the fact that Teeple's planning went sour, as did Scott Helvenston's ability to play with others in the sandbox.

Our Sergeant Major, Major Utterback, starts narrating the episode as Helvenston gets called into Colonel Rudy Boesch's office. Helvenston pretty much gets court-martialed by Rudy. 'It would be better if you kept your mouth shut and acted like the professional that you are', says Colonel Boesch, who adds that Helvenston can be removed at any time that Rudy believes that Helvenston will be a disruptive force in the Camp. Helvenston apologizes for his emotional play, and leaves, where Rudy looks like if this was real, that Helvenston would be doing a lot of KP duty.

Before we get to the events, what fun would military competition be without a little trash talking? From Baz at Delta, 'If Bravo can keep with us, great, if not, they can eat our dust.' Bravo, hearing about Delta's cockiness and primadonna-like attitude, retorts, 'Delta is confident and they have good hair, and good hair care products, because if you look good, you feel good.' Score one point to Bravo for good insulting technique.

But its the much more important 25 points that are up for grabs in the first training test before the mission - Gun Assembly. Jumbled in a box are pieces from 6 different types of weapons, including an M4 Rifle, M9 Pistol, Beretta, and Kolashnikov and Krinkov Assault Rifles. This one should be right up the SWAT Team's Alley.

And it is - for the first 3 people on line. Then it's Steve Claggett's turn for Team Bravo, and unlike everyone else on the team, he isn't familiar with the weaponry that's left for him to assemble, so he does what every military personnel member is trained to do at this juncture - he pulls the good old-fashioned choke-job. The next 6 weapons that are completed are all Delta's, and a 3-0 advantage turns into a 6-3 loss for the Bravo Team. Everyone says  'Don't worry about it' to Steve - but Jody Taylor says to the camera, 'We just lost 25 points to a good team', and he is visibly concerned. And should Bravo lose the Team Mission by less than 25 points, we will have our first nomination for discharged unit.

Next up - a quiet moment with Delta's BAZ, who says he is doing this not for the money, but for the camaraderie and the missions.  When he was saying this, I don't think that a captain who makes really bad team plans, a person who self implodes on his team, and a psychotic was the comrades he ideally wanted to be bonding with. NEXT!

This pre-mission event is worth 50 points - and it's called The Gauntlet. There are four people on hovering mats floating on top of a
pool.  Like the show American Gladiators, the objective is to get rid of the people in the gauntlet - but you do this by knocking them into the pool. The team that loses the fewest men while trying to knock the others into the pool wins the bonus 50 points.

The Bravo's play offense first, while Team Delta defends first. Delta is the stronger team physically, and it was pretty evident early. Scott Helvenston endeared himself even more to the military community by trash talking the Bravo competitors, and in one of the tauntings (at least of the ones that weren't censored out) calling one of the Bravo men a 'Candyass'. All in all, it took four Bravo men to get through the gauntlet. Then, almost immediately after, Delta played the offense, and against a worn-out Bravo squad, who got the distinct disadvantage of going first, the score (4-3) made it closer that what the footage shown looked like. Delta gets the points, and will now be up 75 points going into the mission.

Baz, of the victorious Delta team sums it up this way, 'Sometimes it's time to live, and it was their turn to die'. Meanwhile, the Bravo Team were still smarting from Helvenston's mouth. 'They had some good cheers and cheerleaders on their side, everything shy of the pom poms and the mini-skirts.' Jody Taylor was a bit more blunt, 'If Scott got discharged, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.' And from Byers, 'Helvenston's personality is like a small child.' I'm guessing there's going to be no Summer Luau reunion at Scott's place this year.

But now we come to the heart of the show - the Mission. It's called Prisoner Rescue. Prisoner Bill Nesby has information vital to national security, and he's been kidnapped. Rescue him by ambushing a truck with the number #13 on it. The truck will stop at a rest point - that would be the best time to ambush the truck and save the prisoner.  Jody Taylor asks if there are any other trucks in the vicinity - he is told yes. More on this later. Major Utterback finishes with the manly, 'Let's kick some ass out there, and away we go.'

In the mission planning segment, Rod Nutter explains on why everything is going smoothly, 'Everyone here has some experience in mission planning. That's the good thing about this team - you don't have any SWAT guys going, 'What's going on here' with the field exercises'.

Meanwhile, the SWAT guys have come up with a plan - without the non-SWAT guy's input. Dexter Fletcher felt a little slighted that he wasn't being as involved as he thought he should be. He feels like an outsider - which are the people that are usually first to go if the team loses.

Bravo, since they have less points, goes first. And here comes Truck #13 - but it has a heated up engine, so Truck #23 passes is and THAT truck is the first one to hit the rest stop - ahhh, tricky tricky. But the Bravos don't fall for that one and let the truck pass by. #13 comes a few minutes later, and in the words of Fletcher, 'That's our Truck!' Taylor gets 2 quick kills and gets the outpost men, while the rest of the team gun down everyone in the truck. Claggett redeems himself from the earlier exercise and grabs the prisoner and they all escape from the rest stop.

The Bravo team calls the helicopter and are waiting for an ambush - but no one shows up - because they were all on Truck #23, which the team let by. So the Bravo Team completes their mission in an almost flawless 19-minute performance. With no casualties, The Delta Team pretty much also have to get through the mission unscathed.

And speaking of which, they are still talking smack. 'Everyone's gunning for us, because they're winning', says Helvenston. 'Let's take names, but don't take too long - just take initials'. Geez, they were an Alpha ambush and 5 points away last episode from getting creamed, and now they're all that?

So here they come into the mission, above the ridge - and just like the first exercise, here comes the truck switcheroo. This team, though, doesn't remember the training briefing and for the second straight episode, Teeple commits the Dumbass move of the episode by attacking the truck without  even bothering to check the number to see if it's the right truck. Of course, there is no prisoner there, but 5 Shadow Force members are. One of them kills Nutter, and for all intents and purposes, they blow the mission right there.  The team gets the people in the truck, but BAZ fails to eliminate the 2 guards at the rest stop and they
take out Estadt and Helvenston. Meanwhile, truck #13 now shows up, and more Shadow Force Troops come out to eliminate BAZ. Teeple and Winn soon follow, and the cocky Delta Team goes down in history as the first group to fail to complete a mission.
 
Helvenston is hoping against hope. 'If we somehow squeak this one out, I'll die'. Much to the chagrin of everyone left on the base, Helvenston is alive, but Delta's chances of winning this mission aren't.

Let's look at the scores, though it's academic at this point:

Bravo:
1000 - Men Killed (0) - 19 Minutes (95) = 905 Points
Delta:
1075 - TOTAL MISSION FAILURE (Penalty = all your points) = 0 Points

Lots of blame to go around the Delta Camp. Helvenston makes the understatement of the year, 'The plan didn't really go according to plan', and blames Teeple for giving the order to attack immediately without checking things out. BAZ blames himself for not taking care of the Outpost guards. Nutter wants to resign because he thought he let the team down. Teeple wants to draw swords, while Helvenston wants to skewer Teeple with his own sword. Amazing what a failed mission will do to the
cockiness of a team, eh?

So we go into the discharge room - and all of the suspense is short lived, as Teeple discharges himself from the team (though it felt like if he didn't, he was going to get the royal army boot anyways). Helvenston says that Teeple still doesn't think he's wrong, but it seemed like the team had enough of not one, but 2 botched missions that Teeple commandeered. The team now goes into the dossier room, and picks George Ciganik (codenamed EXTREME) from the files. Teeple is out, Ciganik is in, and Bravo is the only team that has not lost a mission. Next week, someone will lose a mission for the second straight time, as Alpha and Charlie go at it.

January 24 2002
Welcome to the second episode of Combat Missions. Last episode, we had Bravo and Charlie going after each other's throats. Now this week we have Alpha and Delta doing the same, Let's meet these 2 happy teams, starting with the Alpha Squad:
Dan O'Shea (Seems like the captain)
Marc Jackson
Frank Monestre
Scott Oates
Chros Pate
Mell Spicer

They all see like mellowed out personalities - which means that since this is a Marc Burnett show, that none of them will probably last too long. 

Let's meet their opponents for this week - Team Delta:
Rod Teeple - Captain
BAZ
Garth Estadt
Scott Helveston
John Nutter
John Winn

I don't know about you, but when I know people that are protecting my country are named BAZ and Nutter, that sort of leaves me with a feeling of dread.  What's leaving this team with a feeling of dread is that early on, they are not jelling - at all. Teeple wants to talk strategy on how to perform the mission, which is annoying everyone - specifically John Winn and Scot Helveston.

And speaking of missions - the mission that will determine which team will get to reorganize is Tank Takeout - the same mission used on last week's show. More on that later on in the recap.

But first, we have the mission that will give a team a bonus 50 points - it's called Helo-Casting. The teams have to walk into 50 degree waters, wearing 50 pounds worth of equipment. They have to all wade to the other side of the lake, where there is a raft waiting. They then have to turn the raft over, get on it - and ride it back over to where they first entered the water. First team to do that gets 50 bonus points.

Well, the teams personalitites pretty much dictated how this stunt went. Alpha, the calm mellow team, had no problem with team work and quickly turned the raft over. Delta, on the other hand, despite Teeple's team work speeches and lectures, had almost zero communication and had massive problems working together. Alpha wins and get the 50 point bonus, while Delta continues sniping at each other, with the brunt of it going to Teeple, who may want to retake that course on how to play nicely with others in the sandbox.

So here we go - it's Tank Takeout - which is the same mission that the teams in episode 1 had to do (but we'll do a quick recap - Shadow Squad has come in with tank - that bad. Blowing up tank - good. Lose 5 points for every minute taken up - bad. Lose 50 points for each man  eliminated - real bad. Team that has the most amount of points at the end wins - real good.)Delta's turn to go first. And they actually ambush the first bunch of ambushers. The team keeps all of their members when they get to the tank - which is better than what either of the first two teams did.But Teeple, the slef appointed strategy expert, abandons all sense of
strategy and pulls the dumb-ass move of the episode by running adlib to the tank. As he plays the role of 'John Wayne', according to his teammates, Teeple and Winn advance to the tank - but they forget to bring with them the explosives needed to blow up the tank .Helvenston still has the explosives, and Teeple and Winn are picked off. Nutter also gets eliminated, but Helveston does get to the tank with the explosives - and blows the tank up. Your survivors are Baz, Estadt and Helveston, and the mission is deemed a success.But Helveston thinks that the mission was anything but a success, and he has no problems letting Teeple know about his stupid move. "Did you go to the F&&*ing tank?...I ain't happy and I can't pretend to be happy. Give me my obligatory 10 minutes to calm down and I'll be happy".  What a candid guy he is, as Helveston puts it much more succinctly: "We sucked". Maybe, but they had more people left alive (3) than either of the other 2 squads.Alpha goes next - and they have the 50 point advantage going into the round. Pate feels like a fish out of water. "We don't fly too many Huey's on our missions." He also doesn't wear that much equipment, either - Pate is struglling up the hill and he takes his sweet time getting up the first ridge, which causes the team to wait for him for a few minutes. But all six people are still alive when they get to the tank.

After dispatching of the ambushers, the team gets to the tank and sets up the detonators. They successfully blow up the tank, and all they have to do is get to the helicopter that's awaiting them and they cruise to the win.But a funny thing happened on the way to the helicopter. You wonder why there wasn't really any Shadow Force people waiting for them by the tank? Because they were all waiting for the Alpha team by the helicopter. The Shadow Force ambush and nearly pick off almost all of the team, and only Oates gets to the helicopter. Will the loss of almost all of the crew offset both the fact that they completed the mission quicker and their 50 point bonus lead?Teeple believes that it won't, and he volunteers to walk away should Dellta lose. The rest of the team say that they would rather draw swords to decide who goes, but Teeple insists to take the fall for the team (and you have to think that Helveston would be the person waiting to push him off of the cliff). 

And here comes the moment of truth...Team Delta:1000 - 150 (3 men Eliminated) - 155 (31 minutes for mission) = 695
Team Alpha:1050 - 250 (5 men Eliminated) - 110 (22 minutes for mission) = 690

Delta/Team Dysfunction escapes with the win, despite the faux pax by Teeple.  Alpha takes the loss and now must vote off one of their own. Here's the interesting point - despite the fact that the ambush killed their chances, Alpha could have still won if they completed their mission 2 minutes faster. And how could they have done that? If Mr. Pate didn't get long winded by the equipment and got up the will with everyone else.

In the discharge room, everyone seemed to agree with my assessment, as Pate gets the unanimous heave-ho. However, in this round, the team gets to replace the ejected teammate with someone fro 'The Dossier Room'. In this case, the new person is Harold (though spelt on the graphic as Harald) Zundel, who is a friend of O'Shea. So Zundel comes in as Pate leaves, and he is greeted warmly by Team Alpha. The joy may be short-lived, however - after round 1, the next time you have to get rid of someone, you have to play short handed for the rest of the competition.

January 17 2002
So after spending the week watching people get burnt and frozen and having alligators being shoved into their face, its so nice and relaxing to be covering a show based on....military war. Welcome to Combat Missions, Marc Burnett's latest creation.

Hosted by Survivor's Rudy Boesch, the game has 4 teams - each team is comprised of 6 people. The teams are: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta. There are 6 people in each team. Each week, 2 of the teams compete in a team challenge - and the losing team, in Survivor fashion, has to vote off one of their own.

The teams have to face a common enemy, who will be attacking them and trying to stop them.  They are the Shadow Squad, and they will try to stop the teams from completing the mission. The other regulars are Rudy, Sergeant Major, and the local natives running the bar - more on them later.

Tonight's competition will feature the teams Bravo Vs. Charlie. Alpha and Delta get to be seen next week. Let's meet the Bravo Brigade:

Jeff Byers
Steve Claggett
Mark Corwin
Dexter Fletcher
Bob Kain
Jody Taylor

Jeff immeditaely states that there are four SWAT members on the team - and he isn't one of them.  Meanwhile, Dexter Fletcher wants to start nicknaming people and the man nicknamed  "Kojak" (aka the bald Bob Kain) isn't amused.

Now on the other side of the fence, let's meet the Charlie Coven:

Ed Bugarin
Ossie Crenshaw
Jeff Everage
Ken Greaves
John Potter
Justin Young

This team is made up of mostly Seals - and guys who are over 30. Jeff says the team is called the 'Over the Hill Gang' - but he says with age, comes experience. So he have the inexperienced Swat team against the experienced bunch of old fart Seals.

Or we thought they were old farts - but the 40 year old Jody Taylor on Team Bravo is the one complaining about the physical treatment. The warm-up excercises consists of a 3 mile run - which is no problem for the Seals, but for Taylor, who is a handgun specialist, not a fitness expert, he comes in second to last with all of the troops. Then they have a run with a 50 pound rock set on your back - run twice around the field. Taylor comes in second to last. 'This is not what SWAT cops do' whines Taylor. Memo to Taylor - your team better not come in last, because you have 'WEAKEST LINK' written on your back end.

After the lovely morning workout, the teams get their Mission Briefing - 'Tank Takeout'. The Shadow Squad has infiltrated the area with a tank. The mission is to destroy the tank with a set of explosives.

But first is a chance to get a bonus 25 points for the mission in an event called 'Log Carry Hell'. All 6 people carry a 500 pound log around an obstacle course. After every 15 minutes, one man has to stop carrying the log. The first team to let the log touch the ground loses.

The course consists of balance beams and bars to move the log over and under, but the most daunting obstacle is a sand dune that the team has to bring the log up over. After 15 minutes, not-surprisingly, Taylor drops out, but at the 45 minute mark, it is the Charlie team that gets screwed as they have to lose a member - right before the sand dune. 3 people trying to carry a 500 pound log up a big sand dune? Ain't going to happen, as the lead guy lurches over at the top of the dune, taking the log with him. Team Bravo gets the win and the extra 25 points.

After the event, both teams wind up going to the local bar, called The Snake Pub. The female waitresses are called 'Charlie's Angels', and Rudy is there - but don't call him a waitress, or he'll slug you.  Waitress Leigh Koechner thinks that Charlie's Jeff Everage will be going far, while Rudy is bitching out Charlie's John Potter for not being in the best physical shape and for wearing a ponytail. Nice to see Rudy mellowing out after all of these years.

Time for the main mission - and here's how it goes - the team start with 1,000 points. They lose 5 points for each minute it takes to complete the mission. In addition, the team gets laser pulsar guns and laser sensitive vests. If a vest buzzes, then you're 'dead' and are out of the mission. A team loses 50 points for every person killed during the mission. The team with the most amount of points left wins, and the losing team gets rid of a person, BUT gets to replace them with someone else later on in the game.

Charlie starts first, and the Rudy-maligned Patton gets the first 2 kills. But Young gets sloppy and gets eliminated. Crenshaw and Greaves clean out the tank, but miss the 2 people hiding behind it and they get killed. Everage gets pinned down and eliminated, too, but while that is going on, Bugarin and Patton get to the tank. Patton gets shot, but Bugarin ges the explosive off and the mission is completed. Only Bugarin survives.

Bravo's turn - and Byers and Corwin are gone almost immediately. Kain tries to play marksman but gets taken out, and Claggett, who is wearing the explosives needed to blow up the tank, also gets gunned (or should I say pulsed) down. Only Taylor and Fletcher are left. But Taylor decides to take out all of the guys first before continuing. He gets 7 kills and succeeds in pinning the rest down while Fletcher sets up and detonates his explosives under the tank. The Bravos also accomplish their mission.

So it's time so figure out the point totals:
Charlie:
1000 - 250 (5 people dead) - 180 (36 minutes to cmplete the mission) = 570 Points Total
Bravo:
1025 - 200 (4 people dead) - 175 (35 minutes to cmplete the mission) = 650 Points Total

The Bravos win! Taylor is safe from the vote. Potter, however, isn't.

So the first question asked when they get back to the dorm comes from Everage - 'Is there anyone that wants to take the hit for
the team?' Let's see - is there anyone who voluntarily wants to eliminate himself from  winning the first place prize? uhhhhhh......no. The team is very split on whether to vote or let fate make the choice for them - more on that later.

And at the voting area (Discharge section), they were so split, that no one decided to vote. The 'fate' option is to draw swords - one of them has a red tip. If you pick that one, you are eliminated. Everyone wants to draw swords except Everage, who wants to vote. And of course, it's Everage who gets the red tipped sword and who is now eliinated.

But unlike the other reality shows, instead of being down a team member, the surviving team goes into a room called the 'Dossier Room', where they get to pick a new member. Ossie tells Team Captain Burgurin that Wilson Wong, who Ossie knows and is friendly with, is the right man for the job. The captain agrees and as Everage walks out, Wong walks in and takes his position in
the army line.

My Take - Easily, the best of the 3 shows debuting this week. Boesch is much more comfortable than John McEnroe and Rick Schwartz,  and he'll only get better. There are elements in this show that Burnett should use for the next season of Survivor - like replacing Team Members during the game and having more than 2 tribes. This shows game play potentially can be better than 'Survivor', and from a merit standpoint, this is a much more fun game based on 'honor' - though we'll see how long THAT lasts...

But all in all, a very good show and a nice start for Burnett's next series.