EPISODE 5
NOTES FROM THE AUTHOR
What follows is a televised-hand-by-televised-hand
account. Obviously, since it's only a one-hour
show, most hands are not televised so you're going to see a lot of jumping of
the dealer button.
What's a "dealer button"? What's
"all-in"? What the heck is this weird poker game they're
playing? Well, I'll do my best to give the rookies out there a run-down
while maintaining the flow of the hands for the veterans.
A new year in Las Vegas means new chances
for people to hit it big at the gambling tables. But what if you're
ALREADY a millionaire in, say, show business but still want to live out a
fantasy of high-stakes poker? Why, you come on CELEBRITY POKER
SHOWDOWN, of course! And that's what five
celebrities have done. This 25-person poker tournament is designed
to find the best celebrity poker player on basic cable. And the
winner of the tournament will walk away with $100,000 of the $250,000
prize pool for their charity!
And Kevin Pollak has the pleasure of
introducing a potpourri of entertainers tonight. TV, music and
movies are all represented here:
CELEBRITY |
BIO |
David Cross
playing for The National Gulf War Resource Center |
Cross
started as one-half of the hosts of Mr. Show with Bob &
David and is currently on FOX's latest smash Arrested
Development. Will he be busted quick or will he put on a
show that his charity will like? |
Carrie Fisher
playing for The Midnight Mission |
Fisher's
best known as Princess Leia in the "Star Wars" Trilogy
but she also wrote the book made into the movie "Postcards
From The Edge". Will she mail this table in or would
she just as soon kiss a Wookie? |
Tom Green
playing for The Amanda Foundation |
The
former host of his own MTV talk show, Green has been in *ahem*
films like "Road Trip", "Stealing Harvard" and
"Freddie Got Fingered". Will this be HIS show or
will he end up being "Razzied" again? |
Mimi Rogers
playing for The Dream Foundation |
Rogers
made frequent appearances on The X-Files as Agent Diana
Fowley and was also Dr. Maureen Robinson in the film version of
"Lost In Space". Can she learn the truth that's
out there amid the cards or will she be in "DANGER,
DANGER"? |
Scott Stapp
playing for With Arms Wide Open Foundation |
Stapp is
the baritone gravelly-voiced lead singer of the group Creed, whose
hit song is what Stapp's charity is named for. Will he take
his game "Higher" or will he be left wondering
"What's This Life For"? |
$10,000 worth of chips
is what each one starts with, and only when one person grabs all $50,000
will the game end. That person then earns the right to play in the
Final Table for a lion's share of that quarter-million dollar price pool.
We're talking No Limit
Texas Hold 'Em as the game of choice here. A dealer button
will be passed around the table after each hand to show the dealer where
to start handing out cards (to the right of the button). The two
players to the right of the button post blinds, forced bets to
insure there's money in each hand. Each player is dealt two cards
face down, called hole cards. They'll then either call the
highest bet, raise the bet or fold their hand. After the bets are
in, three community cards, called the flop, are dealt face-up on
the table. After bets (and/or folds), a fourth card is turned up,
called the turn or fourth street. Then more bets
(and/or folds), followed by the fifth and final community card, the
river or fifth street, being turned up. After more
bets/folds, the best five-card poker hand (made of any combo of the five
community cards and the two hole cards) wins the pot. The game is
called no limit because, at any time, any celebrity can go all-in
and bet all their chips. But, if they LOSE the hand they go all-in
with, they're eliminated from the tournament
Back in the Loser's Lounge, where all
bad poker players go when they go broke, Kevin Pollak waits with poker expert
Phil Gordon. They also will call the action out at the table.
There's only one spot left at
the Final Table, so let's SHUFFLE UP AND DEAL!
Initial blinds are $100 (SB)
and $200 (BB). The Dealer Button (D) starts on Nicole.
Mimi
|
Tom
|
Scott (D)
|
David (SB)
|
Carrie
(BB)
|
5♠
5♣
|
?????
|
9♦
8♥
|
A♣
K♦
|
?????
|
Raises
to $500
|
FOLD
|
Calls
$500
|
Raises
to $1,100
|
FOLD
|
FOLD
|
|
Raises $2,100
|
Calls $1,000
|
|
Mimi
had the "Speed Limit" hand (55). A low pair like that beats out
David's "Big Slick" (A-K), but not by much, so Mimi may have
been right to fold. Scott is a HEAVY underdog with his 9-8 offsuit,
but he plays aggressively.
|
FLOP:
9♣
3♦
J♣
|
So much for
"underdog". Scott's 9s makes him a slight favorite.
|
David, first after the dealer to stay in, best
first--->
|
Bets $1,500
|
|
|
Calls $1,500
|
|
TURN: 6♠
|
|
Bets $1,500
|
|
|
Calls $1,500
|
|
|
RIVER: 8♣
COMMUNITY: J♣
9♣
8♣
6♠
3♦
|
Here, Scott smiles brightly as he makes his two pair. This is a
big-time "tell", or way of acting at the table that tells those
trained enough to pick it up what a person has. David, however, was
looking down at his chips and didn't pick up that tell. When playing ANY
poker game, it's important to have a "poker face", or a consistent
expression on your face that does show anyone else that you have a good
hand. Scott...he HAS no "poker face", apparently.
|
|
Bets $1,100
|
|
Here, Scott asks, "Can I raise?" This is ANOTHER
"tell"...and also the sign of an unlearned poker player...which he
is, really.
|
|
Raises to $2,200
|
Calls $1,100
|
|
|
9♦
9♣
8♥
8♣
J♣
|
A♣
K♦
J♣
9♣
8♣
|
|
|
WIN $15,300
|
|
David needed an Ace or King on the river to beat Scott. But despite
not having ANY pair, he still played at the pot, hoping to bluff him out of
the pot. Nothing doin', though.
|
Tom
|
Scott
|
David (D)
|
Carrie (SB)
|
Mimi
(BB)
|
Q♥
3♥
|
?????
|
10♠ 9♣
|
K♠
J♣
|
?????
|
Raises
to $400
|
FOLD
|
Raises
to $900
|
Calls $800
|
FOLD
|
Calls $500
|
|
As
Mimi folds, she says, "Mucking". That's essentially what
she's doing, though "mucking" is a term more commonly used when
a player folds a GOOD hand thinking s/he's beat. So unless Mimi had
a pair...
|
FLOP: 8♠
Q♣
8♣
|
Tom
has flopped two pair...and shows that HE doesn't have a "poker
face", either (though he curses and tries to throw the others off, I
guess). David has a "gut buster straight draw", needing a
Jack for a Queen-high straight. And Carrie...not so much.
|
Now Carrie is the
first to act--->
|
Bets $300
|
|
Raises to $800
|
|
Calls $800
|
Calls $500
|
|
TURN: 7♣
|
Now, despite
having the best hand thus far, three clubs on the board worries Tom.
And rightfully so, since both Carrie and David now have flush draws.
David now also has an "open ended straight draw", needing a Jack
OR a 6 to make a straight.
|
|
|
|
Bets $300
|
|
FOLD
|
|
Calls $300
|
|
|
RIVER: K♣
COMMUNITY: 8♠
8♣
K♣
Q♣
7♣
|
Oooo!
Both David and Carrie made King-high flushes! But the Jack in Carrie's
hand makes her the winner.
|
|
Bets $500 |
|
|
Raises to $1,500
|
Calls $1,000 |
|
|
K♣
Q♣
9♣
8♣
7♣
|
K♣
Q♣
J♣
8♣
7♣
|
|
|
WIN
$8,900
|
|
Carrie
thought David had aces...obviously not noticing she had the flush.
David knew he had one and that's why HE raised. Boy, were they BOTH
shocked when the cards were flipped and Carrie was announced the winner. |
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
Scott Stapp |
$20,000
|
Carrie
Fisher |
$14,400
|
Tom Green |
$8,200
|
Mimi Rogers |
$6,400
|
David Cross |
$1,000
|
At this point, certain he's on his way back to the Loser's Lounge, David
pleads his case: "America wants me to stay in this game."
He also tosses his yarmulke away, saying it wasn't the "lucky"
one he had in the same drawer.
Blinds are now $200 (SB) and $400 (BB). Blinds
increase as the tournament goes on.
Scott
|
David
|
Carrie (D)
|
Mimi (SB)
|
Tom
(BB)
|
A♦
8♣
|
A♠
2♠
|
?????
|
?????
|
?????
|
Raises to $1,000
|
ALL-IN
$1,000
|
FOLD
|
FOLD
|
FOLD
|
Scott
"tapped" David, betting the exact amount that
would put David all-in. Scott's a 62% favorite to knock David out of
the tournament.
|
FLOP: 10♠
10♣ 3♥
TURN: J♠
|
David now has a "nut flush draw", needing
one more spade to make an Ace-high flush! He can also win with a
deuce to give him two pair. An Ace would give them BOTH two pair,
but Scott would win with a higher "kicker" (tie-breaking card)
than David.
|
RIVER: 3♠
|
10♠
10♣ 3♥
3♠ A♦
|
A♠
J♠ 10♠
3♠ 2♠
|
|
|
WIN
$2,600
|
|
Scott, unlearned as
he is, wonders how he lost. It takes some explaining to make him see
the straight. David has "doubled up", or effectively
doubled his chip total by winning a hand he went all-in with. He's
still a LONG way from the lead, though. |
Some hands later...
Carrie
|
Mimi
|
Tom (D)
|
Scott (SB)
|
David
(BB)
|
?????
|
K♦
K♠
|
?????
|
Q♠
9♣
|
?????
|
FOLD
|
Raises
to $1,100
|
FOLD
|
Calls $1,100
|
FOLD
|
FLOP: 8♦
8♣
Q♦
|
Both
Mimi and Tom have flopped two pair: Mimi's "Cowboys" is matched
with the 8s on the Board, while Scott matched his Queen with the Queen on
the Board. Mimi's still heavily in the lead, though.
|
|
Bets $4,000
|
|
|
ALL-IN
$5,100
|
|
Calls $1,100
|
|
Again,
Scott asks if he can raise the bet...but he immediately realizes that Mimi
has nothing to raise WITH so...he calls...and he needs a 9. An 8 or
a Queen would give Mimi a higher full house than Scott's would be.
|
TURN: 7♦
RIVER:
10♦
|
|
K♦
Q♦
10♦
8♦ 7♦ |
|
Q♦
Q♠
8♦
8♣
10♦ |
|
|
WIN
$12,800
|
|
Mimi
didn't really NEED the flush. She had Scott beaten with a higher two
pair. |
David
|
Carrie
|
Mimi (D)
|
Tom (SB)
|
Scott
(BB)
|
10♠
7♠
|
A♥
6♠
|
?????
|
?????
|
A♠
K♣
|
Raises
to $800
|
Calls
$800
|
FOLD
|
FOLD
|
Raises to
$5,000
|
ALL-IN
$5,200
|
Calls $5,200
|
|
Calls $200
|
David
joked around, first pretending he had an earpiece and was getting advice
from Phil Gordon (Phil said that Peter should fold), then asking Scott
what he had as his hole cards. Scott is a 47% favorite. Now a
"side pot" is created that only Carrie and Scott can bet into
and play for. David can only win the main pot of $15,800.
|
FLOP: 6♦
4♣
4♠
|
Carrie
flopped two pair. 6s and 4s. Scott only has the 4s with an Ace
kicker...which is still better than David.
|
|
Bets
$3,000 (Side)
|
PASS (All-in)
|
Calls $3,000 (Side)
|
|
Carrie
was torn between calling her two pair or folding to save money. She
counted her chips to see just how low she'd be. Then, after some
pushing by Scott and the audience, she called.
|
TURN: 10♥
|
Ut oh...now DAVID
has two pair (10s and 4s) and is in the lead to take the main pot.
|
|
Bets $400 (Side)
|
PASS (All-in) |
Calls $400 (Side) |
|
|
|
RIVER: 9♣
COMMUNITY:
4♣
4♠ 10♥
9♣
6♦ |
|
|
|
|
CHECK
|
PASS (All-in) |
CHECK |
|
|
|
10♠
10♥
4♣
4♠ 9♣ |
6♠
6♦
4♣
4♠ A♥ |
|
4♣
4♠ A♠
K♣
10♥
|
WIN
$15,800 (Main)
|
WIN
$6,800 (Side)
|
|
Scott
had to be explained what "checking" means. You don't HAVE
to bet unless someone bet in front of you. You can "check"
and give that decision to the next person, who can LIKEWISE check or
bet. Carrie won the side pot with her two pair, but David won the
main pot because he beat Carrie's hand.
David: "I'm pretend-rich again!!" |
After another hand or two...
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
David Cross |
$15,200
|
Mimi Rogers |
$13,200
|
Carrie
Fisher |
$11,200
|
Scott
Stapp |
$8,600
|
Tom Green |
$1,800
|
Mimi
|
Tom
|
Scott (D)
|
David (SB)
|
Carrie
(BB)
|
8♣
2♥
|
A♦
10♣
|
Q♠
J♠
|
7♥
7♦
|
?????
|
FOLD
|
Calls
$600
|
Raises
to $2,000
|
Calls
to $1,800
|
FOLD
|
|
ALL-IN
$1,800
|
|
David
has a pair of "red-headed mullets" (put a 7 on the head of a guy
facing left and you'll see what I mean). Tom can only win money that
matches his all-in, so the main pot will be $6,000 (three $1,800 bets plus
Carrie's $400 Big Blind) and the $400 extra from Scott and David's bets go
into a side pot only they can play for.
|
FLOP: 2♠
5♠ 9♦
|
Scott
flopped a flush draw, but David is still head...barely. Tom is
fairly behind, not able yet to beat either of the other hands.
|
|
CHECK
|
|
|
PASS (All-in)
|
CHECK
|
|
Once
again, Scott asks what he can do. The dealer explains that he can
check and see the next card or bet into his current hand. Scott
checks.
|
TURN: 8♥
|
David now has a
gut-buster straight draw, needing a 6. He's still leading both
hands, though, with his pair.
|
|
Bets $1,500 (Side)
|
|
|
PASS (All-in) |
Calls $1,500 (Side) |
|
RIVER: 6♣
COMMUNITY:
9♦
8♥
6♣
5♠
2♠ |
YEOWZA!
David made the straight (not that he needed it_...and Tom is dead. |
|
|
|
Bets $1,500 (Side)
|
|
|
PASS (All-in) |
Calls $1,500 (Side)
|
|
|
A♦
10♣
9♦
8♥
6♣
|
Q♠
J♠ 9♦
8♥
6♣
|
9♦
8♥
7♥
6♣
5♠
|
|
|
OUT |
|
WIN
$6,000 (Main)
WIN $6,400 (Side) |
|
Since
David beat both Scott AND Tom's hands, he wins BOTH pots. Tom is
sent packing even though he beat Scott's hand; he needed to beat BOTH to
get the main pot. |
So, finally, a dejected Tom crawls back to the Losers' Lounge, asking the
celebs at the table, "Poker in the front, liquor in the back,
right?" (If you don't get it, never mind.) Tom meets Kevin, who
informs him that at least The Amanda Foundation, an animal shelter, gets
$5,000 for his participation. Tom admits he didn't how to play poker
well, but he also says that he was goaded by the audience since they booed
whenever he folded...and that this contributed to him losing. He's
ashamed...and needs a tequila. So as waitress Brandi gets him a
drink (rum and Coke, actually) and sits down next to him, we return to the
table (and I wonder why Kevin didn't ask him if he'd like some sausage):
Blinds are up to $300 (SB) and $600 (BB) now.
David
|
Carrie (D)
|
Mimi (SB)
|
Scott
(BB)
|
????? |
?????
|
8♥
6♦ |
Q♦
J♠ |
FOLD |
FOLD
|
Calls
$600 |
CHECK |
You
SHOULD know you REALLY don't know how to play the game when you go
all-in out of turn. Scott declared he was all-in before Mimi
even looked at her cards. This, of course, made
it an illegal bet. So Scott was in his right to check...though
that WAS a bit of a tell about HIS hand. |
FLOP:
A♠ 7♥
9♣ |
Open-ended
straight draw for Mimi; a 10 or 5 will get her the straight. |
|
Bets
$600 |
ALL-IN
$600 |
Mimi
did "tap" Scott...but it wasn't intentional. The
minimum bet during any hand is the Big Blind. Mimi bet the
minimum of $600...which just so HAPPENED to be all that Scott had
left. Scott is still a 53% favorite, though. |
TURN:
K♣
|
Scott's now
up to a 77% fave. A 10 would give Scott "Broadway",
or an Ace-high straight...so Mimi needs to pair either her eight or
six...or get a 5 for a straight. |
RIVER: 6♣ |
Ouch!
Poor Scott... |
|
6♣
6♦
A♠ K♣
9♣
|
A♠
K♣
Q♦
J♠ 9♣
|
|
WIN
$2,400 |
OUT |
Scott is a little upset as he joins Tom and Scott in
the Lounge. Scott asks Phil about the odds of losing a hand on the
last card. Phil says the odds aren't good...but that Scott probably
lost 3 of the last 5 hands on the last card and has been just plain beaten
for most of the rest of the night. But Kevin explains that Scott
made it exciting and that With Arms Wide Open Foundation gets
$5,000. Scott's happy for that...and admits to being scared of Mimi
since he feels she's that damn good at the poker table. While he
joins Tom in a drink, we return to the table for three-way action:
Carrie
|
Mimi (D)
|
David
(BB)
|
This is the
very next hand after Scott's outing. Scott was supposed to be the
Small Blind, so he's skipped and David posts the Big Blind as if Scott
were there. (Truthfully, I don't get it too clearly, either.)
|
A♥
Q♠
|
9♣
9♠
|
?????
|
Calls $600
|
Raises to $1,200
|
FOLD
|
Calls $600
|
|
Carrie:
"This is my poker face lift." "I don't want to
fold."
Mimi: "All right, you little whore...and I mean that in the kindest
way."
Carrie: (as she calls) "I may be peri-menopausal, but I'm not a
whore, OK?"
|
FLOP: 4♣
2♥
10♣
|
CHECK
|
Bets $1,000
|
|
Calls $1,000
|
|
TURN:
J♦
|
Carrie's
a King away from "Broadway".
|
CHECK
|
Bets $1,500
|
|
Calls $1,500
|
|
Twice,
when Carrie was asked to act, she asked, "Can I call?"
Apparently, Scott isn't the ONLY one not up on rules. You can only
call when someone has bet before you. After Mimi bets, she THEN
asks if she can check...which, of course, she can't.
|
RIVER: 2♣
COMMUNITY: 2♥
2♣
J♦
10♣
4♣
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
2♥
2♣
A♥
Q♠
J♦
|
9♣
9♠ 2♥
2♣
J♦
|
|
|
WIN $8,000
|
|
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
David Cross |
$20,800
|
Mimi Rogers |
$25,000
|
Carrie
Fisher |
$4,200
|
Paul Gordon: "I think (Carrie) needs a little help from Obi-Wan
Kenobi."
The blinds are now up to $400 (SB) and $800 (BB).
David (D)
|
Carrie
(SB)
|
Mimi
(BB)
|
7♠
6♥
|
Q♣
2♣
|
A♦
K♥
|
Calls $800
|
Calls $400
|
Raises to
$2,800
|
Calls $2,000
|
Calls $2,000
|
|
FLOP:
2♦
8♣
6♠
|
Carrie
flopped "bottom pair", her deuce with the deuce on the
Board. David flopped "middle pair", while Mimi...flopped
NO pair.
|
|
CHECK
|
Bets
$800
|
Calls $800
|
ALL-IN
$1,400
|
Calls $600
|
Calls $600
|
|
|
Once again, a
side pot is created, just for David and Mimi, should tey decide to bet
anything.
|
TURN: K♥
|
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
RIVER:
J♠
COMMUNITY: K♥
J♠
8♣
6♠ 2♦
|
|
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
|
No money was
added to the side pot...so it's like it never existed. All three
are playing for the main pot.
|
6♥
6♠
K♥
J♠
8♣
|
K♥
Q♣
J♠ 8♣
6♠
|
K♥
K♥
A♦
J♠
8♣
|
|
OUT
|
WIN $12,600
|
As Kevin embraces Carrie back at the Lounge, she jokes, "I'm
devastated! I'm gonna end up back on drugs!" Kevin says,
"That's hysterical and ridiculous." At least 5 grand goes
to The Midnight Mission. She complains
about David and Mimi, saying, They're arrogant...and...they're
Jewish...but so am I...they're BETTER than we are." She then
tells Scott than he'll be able to brag about winning after the others are
"long dead" because he's so young. But let's head back to
the table where it's heads-up between two TV actors who have been
EXCEEDINGLY lucky at cards...while Carrie, being happily married, claims
to be more lucky at love:
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
Mimi Rogers |
$33,000
|
David Cross
|
$17,000
|
David (SB)
|
Mimi (D) (BB)
|
Q♠
4♥
|
A♠
5♦
|
Calls $400
|
Raises to
$1,600
|
Calls $800
|
|
FLOP:
6♦
5♠
8♥
|
Mimi's
flopped a pair of 5s, but David has an inside straight draw, needing a
7.
|
|
Bets
$1,600
|
Calls
$1,600
|
|
Carrie:
"He's (David's) so tense...he just filled his pants."
|
TURN: 9♥
|
|
CHECK
|
Bets $1,600
|
FOLD
|
WIN
$8,000
|
|
NOW you could say Mimi
"mucked".
|
Mimi
(SB)
|
David
(D) (BB)
|
A♠
7♣
|
A♥
8♦
|
Raises to
$2,500
|
Raises to
$6,000
|
FOLD
|
|
|
WIN
$8,500
|
Mimi was a fair
underdog...but I'm sure, even if David had something like 2-7 offsuit
and raised that much, Mimi would've STILL folded.
|
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
David Cross
|
$31,000
|
Mimi Rogers |
$19,000
|
David
(SB)
|
Mimi
(D) (BB)
|
Q♣
J♠
|
K♦
2♠ |
Raises to
$3,000
|
Calls $2,200
|
FLOP: 8♦
9♠
2♣
|
Mimi's
flopped bottom pair. David has another inside straight draw,
needing a 10 this time. Mimi's a 52% fave right now.
|
|
Bets
$2,000
|
Calls
$2,000
|
|
TURN: 4♦
|
|
CHECK
|
Bets $2,000
|
FOLD
|
WIN
$12,000
|
|
Another muck by Mimi.
She seems intimidated. But, then again, if someone bluffed me
while I was holding deuces, I'd probably muck it,
too. David then says, "I had it," continuing the bluff
to make Mimi MORE intimidated.
|
A few hands later...
David
(SB)
|
Mimi
(D) (BB)
|
A♠
8♥
|
J♥
8♠ |
Raises to $3,000
|
Calls $2,200
|
FLOP: 7♠
A♣
Q♦
|
|
Bets $1,500
|
Raises to $3,500
|
FOLD
|
WIN
$9,500
|
|
Ron
didn't buy into the bluff. Mimi had only about a 4% chance.
|
Blinds are WAY up now: $1,000 (SB) and $2,000 (BB).
So a LOT of hands have passed...
Tournament Director Rob Thompson: "Shuffle up and
deal!"
David: "Shuffle the @#$% up!!"
David
(SB)
|
Mimi
(D) (BB)
|
Q♦
3♣
|
4♠
2♥
|
Calls
$1,000
|
ALL-IN
$3,000
|
Calls
$2,000
|
|
Mimi
could have had WORSE hands to go all-in with...but not many.
Mimi: "I'm all-in...like I have a choice."
|
FLOP: 9♦
2♣
8♦
|
Mimi
ain't dead yet! She's flopped a pair. It's a LOW pair,
though, and still quite beatable.
|
TURN: 3♠
|
And
it's been beat! Mimi needs a 2 or a 4 to stay alive.
|
RIVER:
7♦
|
3♣
3♠ Q♦
9♦ 8♦
|
2♣
2♥
9♦ 8♦
7♦
|
WIN
$6,000
|
OUT
|
Not the
PRETTIEST hand to win with...but a win's a win!
|
So Mimi's charity, The Dream Foundation,
gets $5,000...but David Cross, who was down to his
last grand, gets the final not-available-in-any-store silver chip from Kevin that signifies
his entry into the
Final Table. David claims he only "gave 108%...leaving 2%
for the Final Table." He then holds up the chip to the camera and
says (like he's in a commercial), "People REALLY do win when they come to
the Palms Casino Resort!"
So the Final Table is set! Willie Garson, Richard Schiff, Nicole
Sullivan, Paul Rudd and David Cross will face off for the Prize Pool in the
2-hour Championship! Stay tuned, people!
|