EPISODE 1
NOTES FROM THE AUTHOR
What follows is a televised-hand-by-televised-hand
account. Obviously, since it's only a two-hour
show, most hands are not televised so you're going to see a lot of jumping of
the dealer button.
What's a "dealer button"? What's
"all-in"? What the heck is this weird poker game they're
playing? Well, I'll do my best to give the rookies out there a run-down
while maintaining the flow of the hands for the veterans.
25 celebrities from all walks of fame have descended on
the Palms casino in Vegas to play in
a unique No-Limit Texas Hold-Em poker tournament for charity. It's CELEBRITY
POKER SHOWDOWN, the serious cash-money tournament that plays like
Beverly Hills home games! There
will be five games of five celebs each, with the winner of each game
advancing to the Final Table and a piece of the $250,000 prize pool for
his/her charity.
Let's meet the five upstanding entertainers ready to put their poker
prowess on the line this week:
CELEBRITY
|
BIO
|
Ben Affleck
playing for A-T Children's Project
|
Really, if you
don't know who Ben Affleck is, you've
been missing out. He's an actor, a director and an Academy Award
winning co-writer of "Good Will Hunting". Will he pick
up a killer "Paycheck" this time for his charity? |
Don Cheadle
playing for Canyon Charter School
|
Aside from
"Traffic" and "The Rat Pack", Cheadle plays the
African-British explosives expert in one of my favorite films, the 2001
remake of "Ocean's 11". Will it be a "blinder"
performance, or will he be "in Barney"? |
Willie Garson
playing for the Children's Hospital of Denver
|
Garson's best
known as the romantically-challenged Stanford Blatch on HBO's Sex and
the City, but was also recently in the remake of "Freaky
Friday". Will this be a Terrific Tuesday for him? |
Emily Procter
playing for the Cure Autism Now Foundation
|
After two
seasons on West Wing, Procter went to greener pastures and
sunnier weather, becoming Calleigh Duquesne on CSI: Miami. Can
she investigate the others well enough to come out victorious?
|
David Schwimmer
playing for The Rape Foundation
|
If you don't
know who David Schwimmer is, then you're no friend of Friends,
the show he's been playing Ross Geller on for the last ten years. Will "Ross" be Boss of the table, or will this be "The
One With An Early Exit By Schwimmer"?
|
Each celebrity will start with $10,000
worth of
chips and the game will continue until one celebrity has all $50K in
his/her possession, thus making him/her eligible for the Final Table later
in the year.
The game is No Limit Texas Hold 'Em, often called
the "Cadillac of Poker". A dealer button will be
passed around the table after each hand to show the dealer where to start
handing out cards (to the right of the button). The two players to
the right of the button post blinds, forced bets to insure there's
money in each hand. Each player is dealt two cards face down, then
will either call the highest bet, raise the bet or fold their cards and remove
themselves from the hand. After the best are in, three cars are
dealt face-up on the table. These three cards, called the flop,
are community cards which can be used by anybody. After another
round of betting (and/or folding), a fourth card is turned up, called the turn.
More bets (and/or folds) are made, then the fifth and final community card, the river,
is turned up. After more bets/folds, the best five-card poker hand wins
the pot. The game is called no limit because, at any time,
any celebrity can go all-in and bet all their chips. But, if
they LOSE the hand they go all-in with, they're eliminated from the tournament
At the announcers' position beside the Losers' Lounge are
your hosts Kevin Pollack and poker expert (and WPT regular) Phil
Gordon. They'll be calling the action emanating from the main room.
All right, enough of this. Let's SHUFFLE UP AND
DEAL!
Initial blinds are $100
(SB) and $200 (BB). The Dealer Button (D) starts on Don.
Willie
|
Emily
|
Don (D)
|
Ben (SB)
|
David (BB)
|
7♥
4♣
|
A♠
Q♥
|
K♦
9♦
|
????
|
A♦
10♦
|
FOLD
|
Raise to $400
|
Calls $400
|
FOLD
|
Raise to $900
|
|
Call $500
|
Calls $500 |
|
FLOP: 6♠
5♦
7♦
|
David has a
"nut-flush draw", meaning another diamond would give him the
best-possible (ace-high) flush. Don would get a flush with another
diamond as well, but David's would be higher. Don ALSO has a
"straight draw"; he needs an 8 to make a 9-high straight. |
David, being the first one after
the dealer button who's still in, bets first --->
|
Bet $500
|
|
FOLD
|
Raise to $1,000
|
|
Calls $500
|
TURN: 8♣
|
Don has a
straight, but David can still win with any diamond.
|
|
CHECK
|
|
Bets $1,000
|
|
Calls $1,000
|
RIVER: 6♥
COMMUNITY: 6♥
6♠ 8♣
7♦ 5♦
|
|
CHECK
|
|
Bets
$1,000
|
|
Calls $1,000
|
|
9♦
8♣ 6♥
7♦ 5♦
|
|
6♥ 6♠ A♦
10♦8♣
|
|
WIN
$8,800
|
|
|
Willie
|
Emily
|
Don (D)
|
Ben (SB)
|
David (BB)
|
2♣
8♦
|
10♣ 5♦
|
7♠ 5♠
|
A♥
K♦
|
10♥ 9♥
|
FOLD
|
FOLD
|
Calls $200
|
Raise to $1,000
|
Calls $800
|
|
Calls $800 |
|
FLOP:
3♥ 4♥ J♣
|
Another "flush
draw" for David...and another "straight draw" for Don
|
Ben is first to act this time --->
|
Bets $500
|
Calls $500
|
|
Calls $500
|
|
TURN: 6♣
|
Don has his
straight again, but David can still win with any heart.
|
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
Bets $1,500
|
FOLD
|
Calls $1,500
|
RIVER: Q♥
COMMUNITY: Q♥ J♣
6♣ 4♥ 3♥
|
David got the
flush this time!
|
|
CHECK
|
|
Bets
$2,000
|
|
Calls $2,000
|
|
7♠
6♣
5♠ 4♥ 3♥
|
|
Q♥ 10♥
9♥ 4♥ 3♥
|
|
|
|
WIN $11,500
|
David checked
because he felt that Don had a strong hand and would bet big. This
is sometimes called "slow-rolling your opponent", feigning
weakness to get paid off big.
|
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
Ben Affleck |
$14,500
|
David Schwimmer |
$14,400
|
Willie Garson |
$12,400
|
Don Cheadle |
$6,200
|
Emily Procter |
$2,500
|
Blinds are now $200 (SB) and $400 (BB). Blinds get
higher and higher during the tournament.
David
|
Willie
|
Emily (D)
|
Don (SB)
|
Ben (BB)
|
A♥
10♣
|
?????
|
?????
|
5♠ 4♠
|
K♠
4♣
|
Calls $400
|
FOLD
|
FOLD
|
Calls $200
|
CHECK
|
Ben didn't have to add any more money to the pot since
David and Don both called his "big blind" bet. Don put in
$200 because the "small blind" is one-half of the "big
blind"
|
FLOP:
3♥ Q♦ 2♣
|
Kevin: "Men's Warehouse:
three suits, no waiting" |
|
CHECK |
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
TURN: 5♦
|
|
CHECK
|
Bets $1,000
|
Calls
$1,000
|
|
Calls $1,000
|
|
RIVER: A♠
COMMUNITY: A♠ Q♦ 5♦
3♥ 2♣
|
|
CHECK
|
Bets $3,000
|
Calls
$3,000
|
|
Calls $3,000
|
|
A♠ A♥
Q♦ 10♣
5♦ |
|
5♦ 4♠ 3♥
2♣
A♠
|
5♦ 4♣ 3♥
2♣
A♠
|
|
|
WIN
$6,600
|
WIN $6,600
|
Both Don and Ben
had "wheels", or five-high straights (ace can count as a low
cards in straights). So the two split the pot evenly.
|
Willie
|
Emily
|
Don (D)
|
Ben (SB)
|
David (BB)
|
Q♣
10♣
|
?????
|
?????
|
7♥ 7♦
|
A♦ A♠
|
Raises to $1,000
|
FOLD
|
FOLD
|
Calls $800
|
Raises to $4,000
|
Calls
$3,000 |
|
FOLD
|
|
FLOP:
A♣
7♣ 5♥
|
David started with the
best-possible hole cards in Hold 'Em: "pocket rockets" (or
"American Airlines" or any number of other nicknames). He
has increased that with the third Ace. Ben WOULD have had three
sevens. Willie, has a flush draw, which can beat three-of-a-kind
hands down.
|
|
Bets $3,000
|
ALL-IN
$8,400
|
|
ALL-IN
$4,500
|
Since David had
less chips than Willie, Willie's bet is lowered to cover David's "all
in". If Willie loses, he'll still be in the tournament.
If David loses, however, he's out!
|
TURN: J♣
|
Willie made his nut flush, but David can STILL win with the fourth ace
for four-of-a-kind, or with a Jack, 7 or 5 for a full house.
|
RIVER: 3♠
|
A♣
Q♣
J♣ 10♣ 7♣ |
|
A♦ A♠ A♣
J♣ 7♣
|
WIN
$21,000
|
|
OUT
|
So David joins Kevin in the Losers' Lounge. Kevin was laughing when
Willie went all-in, but David seems not to be overly-effected by being
eliminated. Still, The Rape Foundation DOES get $5,000 for David's
participation. David can now watch and make fun of the other players in
the comfort of the Lounge.
But let's not dwell on the past. Let's get back to the action:
Emily
|
Don (D)
|
Ben (SB)
|
Willie (BB)
|
A♥
5♦
|
A♦
2♦ |
?????
|
J♦
9♦
|
Calls $400
|
Raises to $800
|
FOLD
|
Calls $400
|
Calls $400
|
|
FLOP:
2♥ 4♦
7♦
|
Don has a better flush draw
than Willie. Emily has a "wheel draw".
|
|
Bets $800
|
Calls $800
|
Calls $800
|
|
TURN: 8♠
|
Willie now also has a
straight draw, needing the 10. This is also called a "gut
buster straight draw" or an "inside straight draw".
|
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
RIVER:
4♠
COMMUNITY: 4♦ 4♠ 2♥
7♦
8♠
|
|
CHECK
|
ALL-IN
$900
|
FOLD
|
|
FOLD
|
WIN
$5,900
|
|
|
|
Emily sensed the weakness of
the table and bluffed. She had the fours on the table with an Ace
kicker (tie-breaking card), but he got Don to lay down his two pair (4s
and 2s).
|
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
Willie Garson |
$24,700
|
Ben Affleck |
$14,200
|
Don Cheadle |
$5,900
|
Emily Procter |
$5,200
|
Blinds are now $300 (SB) and $600 (BB).
Ben
|
Willie (D)
|
Emily (SB)
|
Don (BB)
|
8♣
6♠
|
2♥
2♠
|
?????
|
10♦
10♥
|
FOLD
|
Raises to $1,200
|
FOLD
|
ALL-IN
$5,900
|
Don: David, you may have a
playmate.
David (in the Lounge): C'mon, Don! Take Willie down!
|
|
Calls $4,700
|
|
David: I lost to a guy who
calls with a pair of twos?!
|
FLOP: 3♠
A♦
K♠
TURN: 5♦
RIVER: A♥ |
A♦ A♥ 10♦
10♥ K♠
|
|
|
A♦ A♥ 2♥
2♠
K♠ |
WIN
$12,100
|
|
|
|
Willie was saying "quackity
quack" as the river card was drawn because he wanted a third 2...and
dueces are usually referred to as "ducks".
|
Blinds have gone up to $400 (SB) and $800 (BB).
Ben
|
Willie (D)
|
Emily(SB)
|
Don(BB)
|
9♥
2♦
|
10♣
9♠
|
3♣
3♠
|
5♥ 4♥
|
FOLD
|
Raises to $1,200
|
Calls $800
|
Calls $400
|
FLOP:
A♣
J♣
2♠
|
Don has a "wheel draw",
but Emily has the best hand so far with her "crabs" (common
slang for 3s).
|
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
Bets $1,500
|
Calls $1,500
|
Calls $1,500
|
TURN:
Q♥
|
Willie now has an
"open-ended" straight draw, meaning either a King or an 8 would
make a high straight.
|
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
|
RIVER:
8♦
COMMUNITY: A♣
Q♥ J♣
8♦ 2♠ |
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
Bets $1,600
|
ALL-IN
$1,600
|
FOLD
|
|
Q♥ J♣
10♣
9♠ 8♦ |
3♣
3♠
A♣
Q♥ J♣
|
|
|
WIN
$11,300 |
OUT |
|
Willie knew exactly how much
Emily had left and bet exactly that much. Pro poker players call
this "tapping" your opponent.
|
Emily joins David and Kevin in the Losers' Lounge. She admits to making a
few mistakes, but is a little happy that she wasn't the FIRST one out. She
knew she didn't have good cards and that she was never in position to bet.
She sits next to David to heckle the other three. Cure Autism Now gets
five "large" for her effort.
Ben (D)
|
Willie (SB)
|
Don (BB)
|
J♥ K♠
|
K♥
5♠
|
?????
|
Raise to $3,000
|
Calls $2,600
|
FOLD
|
FLOP: J♣
6♥
9♥
|
|
|
CHECK
|
ALL-IN
$10,500
|
FOLD
|
|
WIN
$17,300
|
|
A pair of
jacks may not LOOK like much, but it's a good hand on the flop with just
three players. Ben was a big favorite to win if Willie had stayed
in. |
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
Willie Garson |
$26,600
|
Ben Affleck |
$19,100
|
Don Cheadle |
$4,300
|
Don (D)
|
Ben (SB)
|
Willie (BB)
|
A♣
7♣
|
K♥
5♠
|
K♠
Q♠
|
Calls $800
|
FOLD
|
Raises to $4,300
|
ALL-IN
$4,300
|
|
FLOP: 5♦
10♦ 9♦
|
Another straight draw for
Willie; he needs a Jack.
|
TURN: J♠
|
At this
point, Don is "drawing dead". No card left in the deck
can help him. Even an 8 wouldn't give him a higher straight than
Willie's
|
RIVER:
8♦
|
J♠
10♦ 9♦
8♦ 7♣
|
|
K♠
Q♠ J♠
10♦ 9♦
|
OUT
|
|
WIN
$9,000
|
Don, the third one to be KOed by Willie, joins up with David,
Emily and Kevin in the Lounge. Emily calls Willie "Prince of
Darkness." Don had a great time and Canyon Charter School get 5Gs for
the effort. Now it's down to heads-up action between the
writer/producer and the cable TV actor!
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
Willie Garson |
$30,600
|
Ben Affleck |
$19,400
|
Ben (SB)
|
Willie (D) (BB)
|
Q♦
Q♠
|
Q♣
8♣ |
Raises to $4,000
|
Calls $4,000
|
Even in
"heads-up", there are still blinds to post. The dealer
posts the big blind and the other
posts the Small Blind. |
FLOP: 6♣
7♠
2♥
|
|
CHECK
|
ALL-IN
$15,400
|
Calls $15,400
|
Willie
obviously wants to end this here and now...but he has nothing that can
help that. The only thing that beat Ben are two 8s, two clubs or
two running cards for a straight (like 9 and 10, or 9 and 5).
|
TURN: 6♦
|
Nope...Willie's
drawing dead now.
|
RIVER: ??
|
Q♦
Q♠ 6♣
6♦
7♠
|
6♣
6♦
Q♣ 8♣ 7♠
|
WIN
$38,800
|
|
Ben has
"doubled-up", meaning he won on an all-in bet and has,
effectively, doubled his chip count. He now has a 4-to-1 chip
lead.
|
Blinds are now up to $1,000 (SB) and $2,000 (BB).
Ben (SB)
|
Willie (D) (BB)
|
A♣
Q♣
|
9♣
4♣ |
Raises to $4,000
|
ALL-IN
$5,900
|
Calls $1,900
|
|
Once again,
Willie is a heavy underdog. Three clubs will only give Ben the nut
flush. |
FLOP: 2♣
7♣
2♥
TURN: 4♦
|
So
much for underdogs. Willie has two pair and Ben needs a club, an
Ace, a Queen or a 7 to win, a total of 14 "outs".
|
RIVER: 8♥
|
2♣
2♥
A♣
Q♣
8♥
|
4♦
4♣
2♣
2♥
9♣
|
|
WIN $10,400 |
This time,
it's Willie that has "doubled-up"...but he's only gone from a
4-to-1 deficit to a 3-to-1 deficit in chips.
|
CURRENT
CHIP COUNT
|
Willie Garson |
$34,200
|
Ben Affleck |
$15,800
|
Kevin: "OK, mano y mano...Ben..."Evil"
Willie...LET'S GET IT ON!" ("Mano y mano" is Spanish for
"hand and hand". It SHOULD be "Cabeza a cabeza", or
"head to head")
Willie (SB)
|
Ben (D) (BB)
|
Q♠
7♣
|
K♥
5♥
|
Raise to $4,000
|
Calls $4,000
|
Willie has
what's called a "computer hand". It comes from a myth
that computerized poker simulators deal the Queen-seven combination more
than any other hand. This, of course, is hogwash.
|
FLOP: Q♥
4♦ 5♣
|
|
Bets $4,000
|
Calls $4,000
|
|
TURN: J♦
|
|
CHECK
|
ALL-IN
Bets $7,800
|
FOLD
|
WIN
$23,800
|
|
Ben (SB)
|
Willie (D) (BB)
|
Q♦
2♣
|
A♣
7♥
|
Raises to $7,000
|
Calls $7,000
|
Here, Willie
notices that Ben raised to a strange number for him. Things like
that are usually "tells", or little things said or done at the
table that tells other players (who can pick up on them) what they're
feeling or what they have as hands.
|
FLOP: K♥
8♠ 10♦
|
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
Willie:
Really?! You little girl!
(This is ALSO a "tell"; acting strong to disguise that you
have a weak hand)
|
TURN: 4♦
|
|
CHECK
|
CHECK
|
|
RIVER: 3♥
COMMUNITY: K♥
10♦
8♠ 4♦
3♥
|
Neither
player even has a pair! But Willie has ace-high and he seems sure
that Ben doesn't have a pair, so-o-o-o-o...
|
|
Bets $6,000
|
FOLD
|
|
|
WIN
$20,000
|
Ben (SB)
|
Willie (D) (BB)
|
A♣
2♥
|
K♠
J♦
|
Raises to $9,500
|
Raises to $14,200
|
ALL-IN
$14,200
|
|
Willie again
notices that Ben raised to a "abritrary amount", a clear sign
that Ben's "on tilt", or getting frustrated. Ben may
have an Ace to Willie's King, but the hand is still a toss-up.
A Jack-King off-suit in the hole (like what Willie has) is sometimes
called a "bachelor's hand"...because of the vulgar innuendo of
the first three syllables (you figure it out yourself, sickos).
|
FLOP: 3♠
7♣
4♦
TURN: J♣
|
Willie made
his pair. Ben needs an Ace for a higher pair or a 5 for a wheel.
|
RIVER: 10♠
|
A♣
J♣ 10♠
7♣ 4♦
|
J♦
J♣ K♠
10♠ 7♣
|
OUT |
WIN
$28,400
|
And, so, while Ben's A-T Children's' Project gets $5,000, Willie Garson,
who knocked out all four celebs one-by-one, receives the illustrious silver
chip that signifies a Final Table participant. His final words: "I
couldn't believe that I got down so low that I just threw all caution to the
wind!" Kevin informs Willie, "You not only RODE Lady
Luck...but, tonight, you slapped her behind!"
|