THE RECAPS

7/8/03
(Chico Alexander)

Greetings, and welcome to Hamster Party 2K3, also known as "Big Brother 4". Julie Chen is still in the house, but in a moment, we'll meet the 13 other souls who will have the same answer to the age-old question: "What did you do over the summer."

Let's meet them now, shall we? We'll start with the eight that are already in the house.

Alison; 22; retail manager; Meadville, PA - hottie-type, spoiled-princess-subtype

Erika; 33; Pilates instructor; Los Angeles - hottie-type, boobs-subtype

David; 21; former Army Ranger; Deerfield Beach, FL - pretty-boy-type, classified-subtype

Nathan; 23; personal trainer; Edmond, OK - pretty-boy-type, dreamer-subtype

Jack; 58; retired FBI agent; Birmingham, AL - father-type

Jun; 27; investment manager; New York City - question-mark-type, flirty-subtype

Dana; 28; karate school manager; Queens, NY - competitive-type; bitch-subtype

Scott; 33; waiter; Chicago - iconoclast-type, badass-subtype

Now the exes.

Michelle; 19; college student; Boca Raton, FL - hottie-type, mini-college-party-girl-type

Justin; 22; headhunter; Pittsburgh - athlete-type

Jee; 23; bookkeeper; Elmhurst, NY - player-type

Robert; 33; restaurant manager; Los Angeles - love-to-hate-type

Amanda; 25; bar manager; Chicago - competitive-type

And not a significant other in sight (Jack is divorced).

Our new round of hamsters packs and say goodbye before heading to Television City, the newly-refurbished (again) Big Brother house, and maybe $500,000.

The first eight on my list up top have entered the front gate but are not allowed to speak to each other until they enter the house. And as you can see, CBS editing did a crappy job superimp'ing a picture of the houseguests onto Julie's HD set. Three at a time, the houseguests will enter, starting with Scott, David, and Nathan. Each one has a minute to choose one room of the three: red, blue, or desert as I'll refer to them. Nathan, the Justin Timberlake look-alike, gets the red room. Scott draws blue, which has a comfy bed and a nice view of the red room. Scott gets the desert room, complete with burlap cots. As an Army Ranger, he should be right at home.

Initials from group #1: "It's like MTV Cribs in here!" They also begin to sense that there might be something afoot, as there are so many beds, but only three of them. Just wait until the other five arrive.

Next group of three: Jun, Erika, and Alison. Erika gets the desert room with David ("Definitely a hot woman"). Alison bunks with Scott in the blue room. Jun is stuck with Nathan ("My first gut instinct was to share the bed because he's cute"). She ended up in the other double bed in that room.

Final group of two: Dana and Jack. Dana moves in with Alison and Scott. Jack moves in with David and Erika. He thinks he got the long end of the stick. All eight check out the rest of the house, now decked out in an Austin Powers vibe. The question that was on everyone's minds--and the walls, AND the coffee table--there are more people coming, "But WHO?" Jack asks.

All the players go around and meet. They pretty much match my typings above. So yay, me. Recapper-type, mellow-subtype.

FOOD CHALLENGE: The X Factor

As you know, you win this challenge, you get real food. You lose, and it's PB&J for the rest of the week. Which I personally don't have a problem with. This week: out back are a scaffolding "X". Two teams of four balance on each one of the scaffoldings. Julie asks each player a true/false question about their new roommates. A correct answer means safety; a wrong answer and up goes the scaffoldings. If after eight questions, three or more people fall off the beams, and it's nothing but goobers and grapes for the rest of the week. After what proves to be a difficult balancing act after a rocky start, all eight last the full ride for groceries. But balancing on pieces of the "Pyramid" set should be a cakewalk compared to what they're about to face.

Julie once again greets the eight houseguests with the following words, "Expect the unexpected". Lots of X's there, Jules. Let's listen in. "As you notice there are eight of you. That number is about to increase by five. The five people who will soon be entering your new home aren't just random men or women. In fact, some of you will know them intimately. Because in a twist we call 'The X Factor', soon you will be joined by your ex-boyfriend or your ex-girlfriend in the Big Brother House."

The five in question are now pondering places to hide. Actually, they're all thinking about that. But what's worst is this: "The final five will be joining you shortly." Alison seemed most miffed with the twist, partly because her new BF is watching. Or maybe, it's Dana. Or how about Just...err, Nathan? Or Alison, who's the most adamant against her ex joining the BB fold.

"Oh my god, what if I have to share my bed with my ex?" Jun quickly exclaims, which sends everyone back up in arms. So now we have fear, and fear turns to hatred, and hatred turns into some serious-ass strategy. The original eight make an alliance to get all the exes out.

"Bring them on. Let's go." Ask and ye shall receive, Erika. But first, let's see the girls try and decipher random shadow pictures. How pathetic can you get?

But while we have the panic inside, we have the exes outside.

Scott's ex, Amanda (engaged one year)

Ali's ex, Justin (dated seven months)

Jun's ex, Jee (dates five and a half years)

David's ex, Michelle (high school sweethearts)

Erika's ex Robert (dated two years)

The five have no idea that their former significant others. They do however now know that the Julietron 2003 operates on a dialogue loop, having repeated the same "best-friend/worst-enemy/new-family spiel" once before. The five head into the house as tension begins to mount (especially with Jee, being the first to see the group, and Jun, whose first instinct was to repaint the wall in projectile vomit green). Scott is also pissed that Amanda can sway the others with their drama. Michelle and Dave are actually nominal friends.

But the biggest tension comes with Justin and Ali, as the first thing he thought was "Where's the door?" The door is right there, but don't forget that it only swings outward. You run away, you stay away. And that's not even the half of it, as Alison is bawling her eyes out, knowing full well that her new man is watching. Or, not watching, if he kept his promise to her.

And so it begins, "Big Brother 4: The X Factor". Tomorrow night it's survival of the fittest with Anthony at the helm at the HoH competition. Fridays, Gordon loses two keys as two are marked for banisment. Next Tuesday, I'll be back as the two nominees as they appease to the other hamsters. Next Wednesday, Anthony's handing out eviction notices.

Link of note, friend of mine Jay Lewis has a LiveJournal community up and running at http://www.livejournal.com/~bigblogger. That's it from me, I'll see you next week.

7/15/03
(Chico Alexander)

Time to rewind. Last week, we met eight single men and women who are about to cohabitate in the same house. Then we met five of their insignificant others. They too will cohabitate in the same house. The two groups of cohabitants will cohabitate with EACH OTHER! A day later, Nathan, one of the originals, was named the first HoH and, as such, put two of the exes, Amanda and Jee, on the block. BUT!

If you've checked out the news sites last Sunday, you know what will happen this episode. One of the players is about to leave tonight. Here's a hint: it ain't Amanda or Jee.

Day 5: Amanda knew that she was going to be nomicated, but she was shocked to hear that she couldn't be tristed. Scott thought that the whole process was bull(^_^). Nathan is telling his "trust" story and sticking to it in the diary room. As for Jee, Nathan explains that Jee is just being used as a pawn. Cut to a scene of Jee on the human chessboard. Symmmmm-bolism! Jack isn't critical of Nate, but he wouldn't have said anything about trust. That five-letter word is just thrown around, isn't it? Well stick around, because that word won't be the only one that gets thrown around.

Jun is still thinking that people need to play the "Gosh, that was so horrible" card. Scott definitely plays that card, and is called "very sweet" by Amanda in the process. Jee has to "watch his f(^_^)ing back" until the eviction, as they talk about who would vote for who, especially in the case of the women. Jee's worried about possible scheming. He's also worried about the hard-man cut that Scott gives him. Alison comes in to fix it into a crew cut... which turns into a really bad fade. Finally, Jee buckles and get the Ranger treatment from David.

"I basically butchered him."

I think it'll grow out... someday.

Throw in the "Man-Troll" song about Amanda and you have the fodder for the next scenario, where Amanda proceeds to ask everyone if she looks like a troll. "Man-Troll" means "one who has a reputation for bounching between men." Thank you Webster.

Next up, Erika cleans... in a bikini, for Jack's entertainment. Jack, who calls the show a three-month surveillance, explains more about his job without sacrificing homeland security. He gives props to Nathan's charisma. Further in the Jack intelligence report, he also calls Erika a smooth operator, David a mental ass kicker, Jun a liability, Michelle eye candy (notice the tasteful still of her bottom. If I can get the vidcap from Jay, I'll post it), Dana a double agent, Alison a daddy's girl, Scott a strong personality, and Justin a primary threat.

Next up: the Power of Veto competition. This year, it's all golden, all the time, as all 12 compete for all the glory. All ears? All good. The first PoV challenge is called "Feeling Knotty." Each hamster will wear a belt tethered to a pole with each player trying to reach for the Golden Veto Medallion in the middle. The rope is knotted. Undo all your rope to reach the medallion. First one to reach it wins. As for me, though, forget the competition, this is just fun to watch. This one comes down to a photo finish, and Dana comes out with her ring about the pony as she wins the first Power of Veto. Nathan's disappointed. Jun's shocked. Jee's disappointed. Dana's just competitive.

But the golden question remains, "Now that Dana has the Power of Veto, will she choose to use it?"

Dana mentions that Nathan and Ali are "good friends". How good? Well if you're going on Nathan's story, VERY good. If you're listening to Ali, they're just flirting with each other to win the big money at the end.

Girl talk, a game within a game. Jun, Dana, and Alison come to the realization that Nathan is Adonis incarnate, Justin is funny-ear-boy, Jee is a freak, Amanda's way too skinny, Michelle's the Big Booty Girl, and Dave couldn't save his own life with that kick of his. Jun then proceeds with a little self-girl talk, comparing herself with a little jiggly ... thing.

And now, the mark of any reality TV show outburst, as demonstrated by Scott: Constant swearing. If you read the stories, yes this is a pretext of what's to come. Everyone pretty much thinks that he's an ass, and all of this being an ass comes to a head soon. Jun brings up using the Power of Veto on Scott to save Jee. It looks like Nathan is rallying to get the originals to oust Scott first, signifying a crumble of the original alliance.

Meanwhile, Scott sleeps off his obsession with Amanda. Four or five times a day. He also becomes reclusive. Scott starts to blow up about being a "circus animal", so much to the fact that that night Scott begins to throw dining room chairs all over the house. Big Brother interrupts the game to call Scott to the diary room. He responds, "You come in and get me. You can't f(^_^)ing handle me, it'll take three of you." He went about as if he was playing and blowing off steam, but the reality is that no one in the house felt safe. I don't really give about the game anymore. I'm a loose cannon." Amanda and Scott get into an argument about this.

Scott calls a house meeting. Basically, he's blaming his woes on not being able to move on with his life and his genital warts and apologizing for it. Nathan relishes his role as HoH and tells Scott that the rest of the houseguests are uncomfortable and threatened by his flying off the handle.

Scott finally reports to the diary room, but he doesn't emerge from it. Big Brother tells the others that Scott would not return to the game. Tomorrow, as scheduled, either Amanda or Jee will follow his footsteps, albeit in a more Democratic fashion. That is, unless Dana chooses to use her PoV. We'll find out tomorrow LIVE, so put the kids to watch the results show of AJ and come back for this afterwards. Cheers!

7/22/03
(Chico Alexander)

Last week, Jee became HoH after Amanda was the first person voted out of the house. Buddying up with two exes -- Robert and Justin -- he sends the elite eight into a tailspin and putting Dave at risk. But it's Erika and Michelle who are condemned this week, with Erika being put on notice. All this, and more PB&J. Yum.

We begin with day 13... as Erika, calling Jee a fresh off the boat motherf'er, describes Jee as merely a puppet. Robert, Erika's ex and Jee's new buddy, says that it's the only way that he'll win, for Erika to be evicted. Erika confronts Jee in a strategic move.

Meanwhile on the other end, we have this week's pawn, Michelle, still crying like she knows she's on the next vote out. Dana and Alison console her, but Dana is putting her on a need-to-know basis, keeping her in a constant state of surprise. The two condemned meet by the hammock, as Erika talks about karma and Michelle just says "Okay, okay, okay, okay".

Jee explains his nominations. Primary strategy: he thinks that Erika will be the evicted one, as he notes that "no one likes her" and that she "can't be trusted". On the other hand, Michelle explains to Jee that she feels like she is being taken advantage of, as he was last week. Hurting more than the possibility of leaving is the trick. "If she does go, she deserves to go, because she's not playing the game."

Erika blames her present woes on her ex. Don't we all. She hopes that the elite eight will stay true to their word. How to deal? Just ask Jack. "Jee is fulfilling his obligation to Robert by nominating you. Alison is just adrift in No Man's Land.

Speaking of Alison, what's she doing nowadays? It seems like the "world's grossest game of cat and mouse. This culminates into a little sexual tension boxing... and releasing. She's a swinger... and she wins the match.

Jun secretly feared that her key was not pulled. This was Jee's intent all along: to keep her in suspense.

Meanwhile, Dana goes form cool to annoying on how the house is going to vote. "It really upsets me that she doesn't go through details and in a game like this, it'll make or break you," Jun notes. Dana's the first one to be visibly ousted from the Magnificent Eight.

But that isn't the house's worry now. Don't look now... for just when you thought it was safe to go back to the yard... the ducks have returned. That's right, the game that BB3 made into a sensation in backyards everywhere has returned as a Power of Veto competition. It's time to play DUCKBALL!!! Just as in last year's main timekiller, the object is to throw a rubber duckie into a bucket. You are judged on how close you are to the bucket: 1 point for blue circle, 2 points for hitting the bucket, and 3 points and a duck for making the bucket. Practice makes... for a good laugh at Jun's expense. Highlight of practice: "Justin really parlayed the ass grip into an art form". See if you grab the duck by it's tailfeathers, you get a good spin. Chico tip of the day.

MEahwile, Erika informa Dana that EVERYONE is gunning for her, both sides. Dana immediately went to Jee and Robert. She blasted into the HoH room and said "Talk to me." Robert finds out that someone leaked exactly what was to happen if Rob or Jee won the Veto. She seeks solace in Jun, who is almost guaranteed to turn on her. She's blamed for feeding Dana information. You remember seeing "Office Space" and the Stephen Root character (I forget his name), right? Think of Jun as the red stapler. And the game just took the stapler away.

At this point, you would expect Dana to see something like "I believe you have my stapler..."

Okay, time for the Veto Competition, and the backyard was raided by the cast of "Ground Force" for this one. Michelle was quick to notice, "It looked peaceful, and then we saw the ducks." "Little spawns of Satan" are an understatement. Each player has three ducks. (Jack: I'm thinking of calling mine 'Precious'). Most points wins. Michelle with the neck throw gets 2. Erika with the forceful drop gets 1. Dana gets the classic duck throw for 2. Davey Boy flings the first extra duck (finger on the beak gives you extra spin), getting him 7 points. Jun tries the underhand toss for 4. Alison also has the underhand toss for 6. Nathan tries the overhand fling for 5. Jack is next, grabbing it by the ass for 3. Jee is next with the overhand for 2. Robert mimicks Jee. It's all up to Justin, who gets three, then one, then one. In his bonus, he gets two to tie Dave. Anne Robinson: "Let's play... Sudden Death!" Dave gets 9, while Justin gets 6 ("Horse(^_^)"). Dave gets the Golden Veto. The eight think that the Dave is going to use it in their favor, but ultimately, it's up to Dave. Consensus seems to favor Dana going up, but Jee thinks that it'll go against every plan in the house.

The next day is also Jun's birthday. She's a little homesick being in a house with nine strangers and an ex. She's surprised with half a birthday cake, since half of the houseguests are on a PBJ only diet. "I kinda feel bad that I don't get to share it with half of the house, but that's what they get for losing."

Leading us to Cabin Fever activity #17: Salad bikinis. Jun strings together lettuce and tomatoes to form a truly delicious ensemble. Needless to say, it was a pretty hot dish. Especially when Dave took off with Michelle's bottom, which is pretty worthless in and of itself, because who's going to eat ass lettuce anyway?

Then there comes the PoV ceremony, which is playing out as a matter of trust more than anything. If he uses the Veto to save Erika, he will put a Bullseye on his chest. Jee manages to convince Dave that Dana will go next week. Pretty soon, every man in the house gets into the mix. But no one, save Jee, Robert, and Justin, are thinking in terms of longterm, as if Dana could just blow by everyone and win the half-mill.

As Jack and Nathan discuss what could play out, Nathan notes that best case scenario would be that Jee panics and nominates Dana.

The time for the meeting has come. Michelle trusts Dave's decision. So does Erika. Here's David with the verdict: "After considering that, which I really didn't because I had my mind already made up, I choose (random pans) to use the Veto on (random pans)... nobody."

"I bet he did it on purpose to get a rise out of everybody." And Justin is the winner of this week's game of "What is David Thinking?" We'll see if we can't get another winner next week. In the meantime, either Erika or Michelle will be out of the house in 24 hours. Stay there.

7/29/03
(Chico Alexander)

Last week, Jee tried to use his influence as HoH to sway the eviction vote between Erika and Michelle. In a 6-2 shocker, though, Michelle, the self-described pawn in Jee's plan, got captured and sent packing. And Dana... "Did I mention that that psycho crazy bitch is Head of Household?" We'll find out who gets checked and mated next show. But first, we've got to find out how it comes to this. Previously, Ali and Jack were put on the chopping block for the next eviction vote.



Day 20 starts with Ali and Jack flopping their respective breasts on their beds. Ali does it because she's afraid that she'd drop kick Dana, while Jack, sticking to his original guns (how admirable) calls Dana's move "dreadfully stupid at this time". Justin thinks that this would be the last of the surprises.



One thing's for sure: survive this round, and you're in the game until the end.



Erika and Nate think that Ali is a better player and more worth keeping around. "If you can ride those waves, you can ride your way all the way to the end," Erika notes. Erika and Ali discuss the X Factor's effect on the game, not to mention Dana's ever growing allegiance to Justin (Ali's ex). Ali's defense: "That's my ex-boyfriend, the Midget. Dana's the Man-Troll. They want to get together, probably to have the ugliest babies ever to walk on the face of the earth."



Dana realized that Jee, by having the veto go unclaimed, saved her, and is now indebted to that block of three. The block was asserted in the nomination ceremony, when several keys were pulled in order. Jun's proud that Dana has used her power to divide the house down the middle and make Ali into the sacrificial lamb. "She has no chance going up against Jack." Hey, remember you said the same thing about Michelle? "The power has shifted this week, and it feels good."



Next up: filler. But it's the finest filler, as Jee tries to fix the lawnchair, only to fall victim to a practical joke. Dave was also a victim, as he was the one to fall on his behind. "We were all, 'what the hell, Jee, trying to be frigging Mr. Fix it.'" Jee does manage to fix it, though.



It's back to business, as Nate confronts Dana about Ali's nomination. Dana insists that it was "just strategy," but later in the confessional admits that "I'm going to get [Alison] before [she] gets me." So what does Ali get when she asks Dana? "It's a game. I just did something that nobody has the balls to do." Come on, anyone can see past that now, Big Brother's been on the air in its current format for three years now. If you don't see it, you're a) a complete moron, and b) an ideal candidate for BB5. Applications now taken at CBS.com. No, not really.



But speaking of balls... Oh, not yet? Okay. Anyway, Jack holds conference in the desert room regarding the upcoming Veto Challenge. Basically, Dana has no real friend in the house anymore since going against both alliances and that one of the Three Stooges (Jee, Justin, and Robert) should go on the block should one of them use the veto. Jack leaves and it's another story. Who's better at winning the game? Erika thinks it's Ali. Dave thinks it's Jack.



Ali still thinks that Dana's nomination is Justin's fault. Justin denies, but admits that he is depending on Dana to get him through the game, crediting Dana for his survival thus far.



Cut to a different side of Ali, as she chats up Nathan while strategizing. But first... Cannonball into the incredibly small pool! David explains his hammock splash factor. If he tucks himself in, you get a bigger wave. Back to Ali and Nate, though... AKA BB4 Bonnie and Clyde. Meanwhile, Dana's thinking that "Nate knows that Jack, Erika, and Dave have each other's back." Justin's conspiring to win the Power of Veto so that either one of them can be gone.



Up next: the Veto Challenge: Niagara Balls. Replete with matching shirts, kneepads, and helmets. A giant chute launches thousands of different-colored bouncing balls. The object of the game is to collect the green balls, and the first person to fill their V-shaped container with 10 green balls wins the V. The Veto, that is. "There were balls everywhere!" Dave says. In the air or on the ground, those hotly contested balls were turning houseguest against houseguests. Sure. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt, though, as Jun takes a ball to the eye, taking her out of the running. Nathan, on the other hand, has the largest set of balls to win the bling-bling, leaving Alison relaxed and Dana scrambling for an out.



Moral of the story, don't try to recreate the splendor of Niagara Falls without proper care and supervision, and ALWAYS wear your safety goggles.



Lunchtime, and nothing's better for lunch than a hot Whopper from Burger King *eats Whopper* Mmmmm... that's good eatin' right there. *receives check from Burger King* Thank you.



After lunch, Nathan discusses who to get rid of with Ali, while Dana talks with two of the Three Stooges about backup plans.



Filler #3: making fun of Ali's elephant... yeah, the one with the following eyes. Spooky. "My elepant dies once every night." Ali checks the place to see where Dave hid the elephant. Tonight's mode of torture: toaster in the bathtub.



Next up: a luxury challenge involving glasses of champagne and a Spin-o-Matic. The luxury prize? A private gourmet dinner, for which the winner can choose his or her dinner companion. Each player has to fill a champagne glass, then sit in the "spin-o-matic" chair, which spins them for a dizzy 30 seconds. After the 30 seconds of spinning, they must put their champagne glass on a tray and walk it to a podium--without spilling--where they ring a bell. Shortest time wins. Nathan and Jack drop their glasses (and themselves) on go, while others decide to take it small and easy. Ali wins the challenge in 11.4 seconds. "I am an ice skater! I know how to spin!" She takes Nathan to dinner.



"Cinderella! Time to get ready for the ball! If your'e going to go on a date with me, you better get ready." Nathan wakes Ali up for some getting ready. They get into their swank getups and head out back for dinner. From inside, Dana says that "it's a waste if they don't make out." The kids put the game to the backseat while they talk about getting married and taking advantage of each other. Nathan and Ali are now the power couple of the house.



As was with other cases in other situations, alcohol claims another victim, as Ali chats up Justin while letting Nathan's veto plans slip. Nathan hears every word. Power couple trips up. Nathan threatens to renege on his promise. Justin tells Jack, Erika, and Dave of the new development. They tell Nathan. Nathan is left with a choice: use the Veto to possibly get Dave on the block, saving Alison, or leave the nominations intact, possibly getting her evicted.



The time of reckoning is at hand, as the Veto Meeting arrives. Jack says that he would like to stay and compete some more, while Alison says she deserves another chance. Here's Nathan. "It's been a long week. Dana, I think everyone deserves a second chance in this house. I choose to exercise my veto on Ali." Dana is now forced to make another nomination. "He thinks Ali's going to save him in this game? "You're valuing one person more than another. I think you made a big mistake." She puts Dave on the block, and Dave will try to "sweet talk" his way out of the eviction. But will it work? You'll have to tune in tomorrow night, as either Dave or Jack will be shown the door.

7/30/03
(Gordon Pepper)

On the last show, Dana joins the exes by nominating Jack and Alison - but Nathan saves Alison, which forces Dana to put up David instead. Either Jack or David will be evicted - and that seems to set up everyone being pissy against Dana. 'When Dana said 'I'm Sorry', I wanted to slap her.'

'I don't think that Dana is smart in anything that she does. Her brains are in her panties. She has the personality of a buzzard's crotch.' that comes from Jack. What people want to see come out of David is that he will put Nathan up for nomination should he win the Head of Household.

Jack sees this - and he looks to negotiate with both Dana and Justin. Meanwhile, Erika, who's allied with both of them, is pretty pissed off. She thinks that Jack will stay, because he is not perceived as a threat and will not win anything that is physically based.

Julie gets to talk to the contestants. Nathan has no regrets about using the Veto, Allison accuses Dana of lying and of trying to get her out of the house. Dana says nothing in defense and you can already see the cat's claws coming out. Justin says that he will eventually win a HOH competition and Rob says some words to his daughter. AwwwwBarf.

Apparently, we have a lull in today's episode, since we'll be seeing a Where Are They Now on the contestant's of Big Brother 3. But first - we see an article with Pat - Jack's ex-wife. SSSSSSSSSSSnnnnnnnnooooooorrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzz....

Julie decodes to talk to Dana 'I don't care if they hear or not...My only regret was that I didn't make (my nominations) Nathan and Allison...he wasn't appreacie what I did for him.' She also says that the feeling's of 'Friendship' for him are real - but she is flirting and we don't get to hear the relationship word from her. Can we say biotch?

For all of you people who wanted to know about Big Brother 3 contestants - Eric the firefighter is still fighting blazes and is no longer with Lisa. He no longer speaks to Jerry. Jerry, meanwhile, is still on the job and is reminding people to wash their hands. Amy insists that she is not an alcoholic and got a year's worth of free cheese from a supermarket, and she is also jealous of Marcellas's new woman in his life (wha?). She has also reconcilled with Chiara, who is back in NYC - and who insists that she and Roddy are not a couple.

We are back to Julie, who insists that one of them is gone. That person who will be leaving is...DAVID, who gets knocked out by a 5-2 vote. He leaves the house and is escorted into the Loser Room...I mean the interview area with Julie. Everyone who is left in the house is somber - expecially Amanda and Erika, who voted for Jack.

Dave pretty much knew that he was toast. 'If you know that there was a strong player on the block, you have to get rid of him.' Dave also consummated it with Amandaa on tv - and he enjoyed making the first. 'Scotty's an adult - i don't think he's going to be pissed that I did it (with Amanda).' I wouldn't want to be going out anywhere alone anytime soon, Dave.

After we get the obligatory montage of crying contestants, Dave says on how much that he enjoyed being in the house. Julie surprises him with Craig - a menber of Dave's old platoon. They embrace, as I once again say AwwwwwwBarf.

With Dave gone, it's time to figure out who the next Head of Household is. Here's the competition - there is a plastic water container-like substance filled with ping=pong balls. The objective is to put as many ping pong balls into a cylinder as they can for the 60 seconds that they have available. Whoever puts the most balls in wins the HOH and has the chance to select 2 people to go bye-bye.

While waiting for the official count (which will not be too long, since there weren't too many balls in the cylinder - we see that ALLISON is the winner. Nathan, who is the key ally to Allison, is thrilled. Much less thrilled about this is Dana, who may as well expect to see her name up there as one of the 2 people to be nominated. We will see if there is anyway that Dana does not get nominated on Monday.

8/1/03
(Gordon Pepper)

'Allison and Nathan are a 2 headed monster...well, with them, make it a head and a half.' that comes from Dana, who is anything but happy once Allison wins the Head of Household. Maybe Dana and Allison will make up, right Allison? 'Dana may want to leave the house early and save herself a week of torture.' OK, maybe not.

''This has get to have been the most somber Head of Household opening.' says Jack. That's because Allison isbeing vindictive. 'Jee stayed a little bit longer. He's safe. The rest of them - stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid move.' The rest of Jee's group accuse him of being the sell-out, Nice.

'The house is divided between good and evil - and evil is wearing the tattoos.' says Erika. Just for the record, the tattoo-wearing evil side is Jun, Justin, Robert, Jee and Dana - so expect the 2 nominees to be from those people. Allison, Nathan, Jack and Erika are the tattooless people. This turns into a tattoo argument that is so silly that I'm not going to bother even mentioning it here.

Rob wants Allison to put up Dana and Jun - which would make sense because it leaves the strong males in the game from tattooland. But Allison is leaning towards Dana and Justin - with Jun as the third. Jack agrees - 'The strongest threat to the Alliance is Justin. If we take him out, then we isolate the three stooges.' Allison agrees with that - for now...

Jun has a different problem - she can'[t fit into her jeans. She thinks that she's gained 30 pounds. Everyone talks about how much that she eats. And speaking of that, we get into the food competition of the week. The teams are divided into 2 - a hot group and a cool gorup. The teams then go into the pool and navigate pipes. If they do it correctly, they rout the water into an aqueduct where a rubber duckie is awaiting. The team that gets their duckie down the aqueduct first wins the food.

Jun was unhappy about his team - which was him, Robert, Dana and Erika. Allison tried to stack the teams so that Jack, Nathan, Justin and Jun would win - it worked. The BLue team does win, and they get to eat real food. That means 2 things - Dana and Robert get to eat PB and J for a week, and Jun gets to gain another 30 pounds.

Jack finally gets the win - and now people are realizing how cool and strong Jack is. Dana is also realizing how much of a threat Jack is becoming. Hmmm...Jee realizes that too - and right now the cigarette smoker is sulking around the house. The housemates are trying to hel[p Jee quit - and it's not going to help him in this house. Jee's dad died from lung cancer, and Jee knows that he is going to join him if he doesn't quit. He's going to quit after the 4 packs that he brough into the house. Good luck, Jee.

Jee is not the only one meditating. Nathan is turning to the Bible and reads verses to Allison - verses like 'Money is the Root of All Evil.' Justin accuses Allison of not understanding what the Bible means. Nathan is readi about conspiracies - Psalm 64 to be exact. Allison is trying to have everyone read it - and the Housemates are wondering if Allison's brains have turned into the PB and J sandwishes. 'We need to get that Bible out of the house.' warns Dana.

Nathan gets into the tub, where he is meeted by Justin and Robert, who try to corrupt himby telling Nathan that Allison is devious and a liar. Meanwhile, Allison is getting devious with Jun - and they make a deal that if she does not put up Jun (which she wasn't going to do anyways), that Jun wouldn't put Allison up if she was Head of Household - she would put up Natan instead. Allison agrees with that, and that Psalm 64 seems to have been stricken from Allison's memory banks for the time being.

Justin comes in - and he wants Allison to put Nathan and Erika up. Allison says that she will put up Dana - and that she will put Justin up. 'If you put me up on the block, you can not be mad at me if I put you on the block.' He also doesn't want her to put any of the guys up - and that he will strike back if she does. Allison accuses Justin of saying bad things about her - and he tells her to fear Nathan. There may be a reason - Allison tells Justin that she thinks that Nathan is gay. 'There's no way that he's not' and Justin is shocked. 'I'm never hanging out with him...He's certainly a fruitcake' says an appalled Justin, who vows not to hang out with Nathan again. The deal with Allison has been made. Dana comes to comfrt Justin, unaware that she is about to be charbroiled so that the guys can stay together. Will Justin keep his word to Allison?

With all of the information that she has, Allison makes her nominations. 'I know that my actions are going to influence 2 people's lives in this house - and one of those people will no longer be here.' Allison calls the group up and we start with the parade of keys. Here are the safe people, in the order of safeness - Jee (Jee first? Wha?), Jack, Nathan, Robert, Erika, and finally, Justin. This means that the 2 people to be nominated are Dana and Jun. Dana, of course, is understandable, but Jun? 'I know that if you won the power of the veto, you would take Dana off, and I can't risk that.'

Dana may be the personal threat - but not the threat to win the game. Jack, like myself, thinks that Allison made a huge mistake. Will any of the people in the house win the power of the veto to correct the mistake? We will find out on Tuesday.

8/5/03
(Chico Alexander)

Last time, the power couple of Ali and Nathan was put in power as Ali won HoH. Nathan thought that Justin was going to be on the block. Instead, two other members of the Insane Ex's Tattoo Club, Dana and Jun, were put on the block, Dana because everyone hates her, and Jun for "strategic" reasons. That word gets tossed around like one of Scott's chairs.

That was day 27. And Ali's biggest worry is not that Nathan's upset. It's that Nathan won't cuddle with him anymore. Nathan did think that Justin was due for a vote-out, but Alison was looking out for number one. But then Alison notes, "If you win next week, you can win the whole thing."

Dana, on the other hand, knows that Nathan is pissed as hell and feels bad that the original alliance is using Jun to get to Dana. Keep in mind that these two were at the start members of the original alliance. Jun thinks it's funny to betray the alliance like that.

Jack is also stunned by this "amazing mistake" as he conferences with Nathan and Erika, who are smarting from the realization that the original plan was deviated. Erika notes that the original allies are "going after each other" instead of voting off the exes as planned. Nathan plans to win Veto, and remove Dana for Justin. Ali joins them, and eventually (and by eventually, we mean with a threat of no nookie from Nathan) agrees to nominate Justin if the Veto is used. Jun on the other hand would do the same thing if she was in Ali's shoes, nominating herself and Dana.

A friendly game of cards erupts after Nathan remembers that he made out with Michelle. You guys remember Michelle, right? We go though the various bed-hopping episodes: Dave and Amanda notably. But the queen of bed-hopping has to be Alison, who was, at one time or another, with Dave, Justin, AND Nathan. "Donny, you might as well just call it quits," says Nathan. "Love ya... Miss ya... Can't wait to have your kids... I'm SO screwed!" You got that right, Ali. In the hot tub, in the HoH, in TWO beds. "When she wants it, she wants it."

Dana, meanwhile, picks Erika's brain on the matter of trust. Erika agrees that Alison's decision wasn't really that good one. They feel bad for Jun, but who wants to see someone slip through the cracks? "I've been letting other people do the dirty work around here, maybe it's time to get dirty," Erika asserts in the diary room. She acts on said assertion in Alison's HoH room.

The next segment could be summed up by Jee's three words: "Korean, you bitch!" Justin makes fun of Jee on an almost constant clip. But Jee takes it in good fun, because "you have to have fun in this house." They're like kindred brothers.

Meanwhile Jack is trying to impart his wisdom (and he does have much to impart, so listen up), explaining to Dana the importance of not overthinking. Erika (who, at 33, is old enough to be my sister) and Jack (who, at 58, is old enough to be my dad) think of themselves as the parentals. They try to explain that "if you do this, you are a target", referring to advice that they keep trying to pass along. They share a sandwich. I swear if they get together...

Two of their kids, Jun and Jee, seem to be getting along much better for a couple of exes. "The ice has melted." But the two are wary of being too friendly, for fear of revealing their "silent alliance," and Jun advises Jee to vote with Robert and Justin, so that no one raises an eyebrow. "If you survive this week, we're next on the block," Jee is quick to note.

"Nathan's definitely a pretty boy", what with having his nails done, wearing makeup, and shaving his entire body. All of a sudden, it's "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" as Alison thinks that she had a hand in Nate's... fruitiness. He's got a little bit of a feminine side there, and it just gets bigger... Explain "Jee is my bitch." No, really. I'm waiting here... "I'm not gay! I'm not like Jee! I like women!"

Have Erika and Robert made amends here? Probably not, but Robert has decided to get both him and Erika to the end. Or maybe, it's Robert's trying to put forth an effort to live here, as Jee's silent keep demonstrates. Today is the anniversary of his father's death. He died of lung cancer and Jee was trying to quit smoking because of it. His housemates put the game to one side and help Jee with a ceremony to honor the memory of his father. People... smoking kills. Don't do it. And if you do do it, quit now. You may have a kid to care for soon.

The crew of originals is gunning for the Veto. The only place they want Dana to go is home. Dana's life hinges on the outcome, so she's going to fight for it.

Today's Veto Comp: Snake in the Grass. We have a grid of sod squares. There are four pictures of each houseguest in the grass lined in a row a la Battleship. Each player will reveal a sod square revealing a blank square, one houseguest, or more than one houseguest. If all of your faces are revealed, you are eliminated from competition, but can still try and 86 your housemates. Last one standing wins. Erika and Nathan are disqualified. Soon, we're left with Jee's big head and Robert who uncovers himself habitually. Jee elects to throw the game for Robert. Dana thinks that things will come full circle because she saved Robert last week.

The winter is about to come for Dana. That's no secret. So everything she does from here on out will be only to lessen the blow. She reminds the IETC that she saved them from eviction in the past and will continue to do so, but Robert is going nuts and Justin has to "draw a line between the game and their relationship." See Irwin, Alison circa last week.

It's veto time. Jun doesn't plea for Robert to spare her ("Yeah, take me off"). Dana hopes that Robert will do what's best. Time for Robbie to decide. "Robert, if you exercise that Veto, you're a dumber (^_^) than you realize," says Jack. The verdict: "I'm not going to use the Power of Veto, but only because it's in my best interest in the future of the game."

The future is tomorrow, as either Miss Varela or Miss Song will make a misstep and misplace their keys. Don't miss the live recap with Miss-ter Pepper next time.

8/6/03
(Gordon Pepper)

Ok - after watching this past week, is there anyone out there who does not think that Dana is toast? Anyone? Don't all come bounding up here at once.

'I'm not a fighter, and I'm not a quitter. I will do what it takes to stay a fighter.' She is at least trying, talking to Erica and Jack, telling them that Jun will win the game unless they get rid of her now. Dana is planting the seeds of doubt in Erika's and Jack's mind, as they don't know who to trust.

Jun is noticing this 'Dana is saying that she's not campaigning. I don't know what she hit her head on.' and Jun wants nothing to do with Dana. 'I can't wait until eviction night to get rid of her, one way or another.'

Allison is indeed playing the game - as she cut a deal with the 3 stooges - she doesn't put them on the block, they won't put her on the block. A very concerned Nathan looks on, as he knows that he could be the next person gone because the stooges are still in the house.

It's time for Julie Chen to talk to the people - and she goes after Allison for flirting, while her boyfriend Donny is out of the house. Allison says that it's just a game. Justin says that she will miss Dana - but it's a game, while Jee says that he has appreciated Jun's cooking. That's nice from the exes.

It's time for this week's expose - and this one's on Dana by her cousin Lisa. It's amazing how much time we are spending with someone who's about to get booted. Lisa says that Dana is not a man troll (yes she is), and how Justin is the right man for her (no he's not). On the flip side, Danny, Jun's brother, is sticking up for her. He is saying that everything is going according to plan with Jun.

Next up - a work with Allison. She wants Dana out - because she can't do anything about it this week unless Nathan wins the HOH. Her alliance with Nathan is wearing thin - and she says that her use of him is over. 'He can go on his own right now'. She uses the Bible for stress relief. Is this doesn't make everyone on the outside wanting her demise, nothing will. She won't go after Justin - and she thinks that Justin will stay by his word.

Next up - a profile on the Three Stooges - otherwise known as X Factor. Jee is Curly, Robert is Larry and Justin is Moe. They are comical - and maybe also dangerous.

Final words - Dana can't wait to meet some of the people outside, while Jun wants to stick around because she thrives on drama. And here's Julie with the recap. 'By a vote of 6-0', well, that was pretty decisive - and Julie doesn't need to drag this out, because we all know what's going to happen 'Dana, you are voted out of the house.'

So Allison does get her way and Dana is gone. She leaves and everyone is pretty quiet - but for the most part, happy. Dana is not surprised with the result. 'There is no sympathy in the game.' as she says that she told the stooges to vote against her if they couldn't get the votes. She did get some...interesting...comments from the people in the house. We get a 'I hate to say I told you so - but I told you so' from Erika, while we get 'I don't think anyone here in the house wants you here anymore.' from Jun. OUCH. Dana is a member of the jury - and she gets to vote on the winner, so I'm not sure that those nasty comments to her were very prudent.

We have someone else who can be nasty - as we start the next HOH competition. A quote will be read - and the players need to put down which of 5 people - Allison, Dana, Michelle, Amanda and David - gave the answer on their questionnaire that everyone filled out to be in the house. You get one wrong - you're out. The last person standing is the new HOH

Who said that one of their bad habits was they obsessed about everything? That was Dana, and only Jack got it wrong. Who's favorite movie was Legally Blonde? Michelle did - and Robert and Jun are gone. Who wanted to be an elephant? Allison did - and only one person got it right. That person....is....Justin - Allison's Ex. Well, that sort of stacked the deck, didn't it?

Final thoughts - all of the sudden, Allison feels terrible about getting rid of Dana (sure she does), while Jun is happy to be there. They all miss their respective lovers, and family and friends. They all compliment Allison about being classy in terms of Dana, and we end the show.

Well, that HOH sure changes things, don't it? Since the deck was pretty much stacked towards the exes, I would have been surprised if they didn't win it. Now that Justin did, Nathan better win the veto, because he will be nominated - and if Justin was smart, Jack would be joining him. We'll see if he is smarter than the average stooge when we reconvene on Friday.

8/8/03
(Gordon Pepper)

Allison was full of joy as Dana got the boot on the last episode - but the joy was very short lived for the rest of her alliance as Justin wins the Head of Household Challenge. The stooges now rule the roost - and Nathan, Jack and Erika have very good reason to worry.

We start with the players that are still in the house relieved that Dana is gone, because they thought that she was being too vengeful and vindictive. Then a flashback to the HOH competition - with Nathan very nervous that he didn't win.

Flash back to the present. Nathan is crying to Allison, as he sees his plans backfire big-time. Meanwhile. Alison, who charmed Nathan into saving her, is in the cat birds seat, as she is aligned with both groups. Robert notices that Nathan is on the verge of tears - and he's happy about it. Way to show your nice side, Robert.

Justin finally gets to be in the HOH room for the first time. Jack in Nate come in out of respect, and then they quickly leave the room. Justin wasn't surprised. 'It's a matter of who is going to get whom first.'

Jack's gut impulse - to get rid of Justin - turns out to be correct. 'Nathan's mistake the first week (to not put up Justin) has come back to haunt him.' Nathan is convinced that Alison will be campaigning for him. Wrong. 'Im a floater right now.' she says - but she's indicating that she's with the exes.

It's back to the tradition to bring in people to plead their case. Allison plays the door person, and Justin says that 2 people can plead their case tonight - with the rest of them to talk tomorrow. Erika comes first - and even though she says that she was aligned with anyone, she says that she's played fair. 'That was pretty humiliating.'

Next up is 'Kick My Ass' - AKA Jack. 'I want you to know that I've had your back since I came in here.' Jack gets to be humiliated like Erika. 'I'm here to say that I'm available for nomination - or not available, depending on what you say.' The Stooges say that they respect the way that he plays the game, and Jack leaves.

The stooges decide to be obnoxious, and are waiting for Nathan - but he's having none of that and is hanging out in his room. What Robert, Erika and Jee are having none of is the real food - they are still on the PB&J diet. Robert has been acting mustard, paprika, mayonnaise and steak sauce to his PB & J sandwich - with mixed results.

This week's food competition will change things again, There are 4 pairs of 2. One of them is the 'chef' and the other is the 'food'. Each team must complete recipes in 10 minutes. For each meal that is not completed, everyone is stuck eating PBJ for that meal. If all of the meals are done, not only is everyone spared from PBJ, but they also get a bonus meal.

Breakfast is first - and Jack gets to be a strawberry, while Erika is creating the cereal meal. 'I don't think that being a strawberry is what agents have in mind when they think about their image.' Breakfast is done - and now it's time for lunch. Robert is a weiner - yes really, he is - covered in ketchup and mustard. That gets done fairly quickly, so it's down to din-din - chicken fajitas. Nathan is, of course, the chicken - and they should be able to dress him up easily with 5 minutes left to go.

The fajita is all cooked - but we still have desert, in terms of a banana split. Jun gets to be the banana, all covered in topping. Jack shouldn't feel too bad here - at least he wasn't sloshed. Justin dresses the banana with seconds to spare - so they are spared the PBJ. For the weekend, they get 3 days worth of food from Subway (eat fresh) - complete with the Subway background music in the back. Well, that answers why the challenge way easy - you really don't want to screw up a product placement challenge.

When they all come in - they see the voting table - but it's now down to 8 people instead of 12. That's a reminder that people still need to be eliminated - and a nice segway into Justin's thinking pattern. Something that he may take into consideration is Jee and Jun going at it. Perhaps Jun is not as close as she seems like she is - or she is closer. Jee goes back to the group and they start ranting in front of the stooges. Flashback to when they saw each other - 9 years ago. They have a secret alliance - but they don't want the house to know about it.

What the house does know is that there is no music in the house. Allison tries to change that - as she gets herself and Erika for some dance lessons. Robert only thinks that he, Allison and Erika can dance - and they are right. Robert and Erika, meanwhile, talk about his sobriety and that he changed his life around. It's been 20 months since he drank. 'Without that, I wouldn't have anything.'

Nathan right now, may not have anything, because everyone knows that he has a big target on his forehead. Erika and Jack are talking strategy - and right now, they don't need to use the HOH. They may have to soon - they are running out of people in their alliance - especially since Justin's alliance is getting bigger with the defection of Allison and with Jun and Jee having the secret alliance. Nathan is thinking about making a deal - and he is willing to go up against Jack and Erica. I can't see how the stooges will possibly buy this. They don't. 'Boy he was laying it on thick, wasn't he?' says Justin

It's time to see who gets nominated. Here are the safe people - in order - Robert, Jun, Erica, Allison and Jee. Nathan is one of the people that Justin puts up - the other person is Jack. 'Both of you didn't hesitate to lie to my face, and I can't handle that.' Justin added that they are threats to the game and that he was going for the jugular.

The race for the Power of Veto will be very interesting this time around. Can either Nathan or Jack get off the chopping block? We'll find out on Tuesday.

8/12/03
(Chico Alexander)



Last time, Dana wasn't just kicked out of the house, she was given the royal boot. But what's even more shocking is Justin coming up with the HoH win. Now the only thing saving cuddle partner Nathan and overtly dangerous Jack is the Power of Veto.

That was day 34. This leaves Jack in training for kicking Nathan's ass, it seems. Actually, they blame themselves for having the numbers and not using them. Nathan is beginning to see the error in his ways from overly trusting Alison. "We had a plan, and she broke it."

Sweeps moment #56: Jun waters the plants in the HoH room... in a bikini. The other stooges cycle between discussing why the other housemates hate them and looking at Jun's considerable rear. Justin, on the other hand, points out that in the house, all you have is your word, and when that's taken away, you really don't have anything else to offer. A fact that the stooges play out to the fullest and, as a result, 180 from it.

"Nathan is being the biggest fricking baby" about being up on the block, according to Alison, which means that we finally know who Ali's true mate is... herself (a "duh!" moment). "I'm safe, so who cares?" Erika, on the other hand, has every bit of remorse for both nominees.

Nathan quickly apologizes for his actions regarding Ali. Jack decides to make it a moot point by saying "You had to make the move that was right for you."

Meanwhile, Jee's brushing his teeth for two minutes, brushing each tooth five times. Jee professes to have very anal behavior. He washes his 2000 parts five times, stores his clothes in Tupperware bags, and worships Tony Shalhoub.

Back to the issue at hand, Nathan and Ali. Remember Britney and Justin over the last week? Yeah, it plays out like that. "I have no remorse for getting rid of Dana. She was after me, and now I'm safe, so Nathan can kiss my ass." Nathan makes it official, saying that he will no longer trust Alison.

Erika misses getting the news. I guess that no-fly zone over the House isn't helping either. Among concerns: Iraq, Sammy Sosa, Kobe Bryant (who they describe as a family person... They have no clue).

Jee's stressing over laundry, particularly Justin's skanky shorts. Justin professes to wash them once every couple of weeks. He needs to wash them more or else he's going to develop a strange growth that Jee says, "smells like ass crack." Alison recalls her ex's laundry habits in the house.

Talking about the luxury competition, as the houseguests get changed into swimsuits that leave nothing to the imagination. This one's entitled "Foam Party". Basically put, the players have to spell out the name of their luxury from patches inside their bathing suits. The catch: they have to remove their clothing to find the patches. They have five minutes... GO! (starts mumbling something about "naked women, naked naked women"). They figure out the luxury as "laundry" and get some "laundry" done. Justin, they're calling your name, boy.

And all I hear from Nathan is "Naked Erika, naked naked Erika."

This week, we get free Subway. Yay, Subway. I could go for some Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki action right now. (hand passes him said sandwich) Thanks! (hand passes him another check) And thank YOU!

Next up: gratuitous nudity! Well, not really, just bathing suits. Everyone's got one. And apparently Erika's the best, with her having the best fashion sense by a majority vote in the Diary Room. Then again, you have a "stupid pink hat" and a "fluorescent green pants" set. But Erika's favorite is her pink boots. In fact, pink everything. Very Reese Witherspoon, I'll tell you that.

The houseguests get another game on, Quoridor. Being a natural born gamer, to me it looks and sounds like barebones Dungeon Dice Monsters. Basically you have to create a path for your pawn to move to your opponent's side while blocking off your opponent. The houseguests practice, and it seems that Justin is the most apt at the game.

Nathan and Ali get into ANOTHER argument, as Ali decides to play both sides of the fence. And speaking of fences... More Quoridor talk even up into the Veto competition. Jee's strategy: "The key to this (^_^) game is to save your (^_^) fences until you really need it. Can't (^_^) use it on bull(^_^)."

And sure enough, the golden veto will be decided with a game of larger than life Quoridor tournament. Single elimination. Winner takes all. Match one Nathan versus Robert and Jun versus Justin. Or in this case, Nathan versus Jun, Robert, and Justin. Nate is the first one out after being blocked off. Robert takes the first match. Match #2 pits Ali, Jee, Erika, and Jack against each other. Erika is severely blocked off, while Ali is blocking herself off to an extent. Jee takes this one, so he will take on Robert. Robert and Jee make light of this round, since the stooges are guaranteed a win. For posterity, though, Robert wins the match, two weeks in a row.

So should they use the veto? We'll see in a moment. Right now, Nathan has only Erika to lean on. Or does he? Alison is campaigning with the stooges to keep Nathan in the house, trying to protect them. Alison tells another story to Nathan, leading to Nathan/Alison argument #3. This time, it's in the place that it counts. Alison acts all smoochy while Nathan dismisses that claim, saying that she sold her out. "Just don't ever come to me if you need help again."

Nathan plays his final gambit in Jun, telling her how Ali is a no-good liar and that the veto needs to be used on Jack to put her up against Nathan. Jun relays this to the stooges. "My thing was he didn't say 'Take me off and put Ali up.'"

It's Veto time. Jack has some reservations about his housemates, but welcomes the benefit and accepts the detriment. Nathan butters up Robert while saying the same thing that Jack just said. Again, it comes down to personal protection as Robert puts the veto away for another week.

Which means that next time, not only will Jack or Nathan be given their papers, but we see who Alison will buddy buddy up to next when the new HoH is crowned.

8/13/03
(Gordon Pepper)

Last week, I started off with this - Ok - after watching this past week, is there anyone out there who does not think that Dana is toast? Anyone? Don't all come bounding up here at once. This week, I will start with this - Ok - after watching this past week, is there anyone out there who does not think that Nathan is toast? Anyone? Don't all come bounding up here at once.

After spending 10 minutes doing the recap (things must be EXTRA slow this week in the house), we still see Nathan trying to do his best to lobby his way in. Unless these people are on some sort of mind-altering drug, that won't work. Jack decides to lay low, just to give Nathan enough rope to hang himself.

Nathan figures that one way to save himself is to have everyone pissed off at each other, so he starts telling people what other people have been saying behind their backs. This, of course, pisses off everyone, which is what Nathan wants - but the problem is that none of these things have been attributed to Jack, which is the person that he needs to get people pissed off at.

Nathan makes a final plea with Justin - telling him that he wouldn't put any of the stooges up if he sticks around. Justin says that he'll talk to the stooges - but we've all seen this before and we know darn well that this ain't going to work.

We are up to Julie Chen's 'hard-hitting' questions, where we find out that the Stooges acted like a 'Boy's Club'. Jee hated laundry service, and Jack wants to dress up undercover like a strawberry in the Middle East. Erika would be sad if Jack goes and Allison the same with Nathan (though she planted the seeds for his destruction). We get the mandatory profile of the week - and this time it comes from Nathan's family - specifically, his mom and sister Lindsey.

Next up - an interview with Justin, who doesn't say anything of note - but this - everyone knows that Allison is playing both sides. Could she be the next target? Hmmmm....

We get to see a clip of the women remaining in the Big Brother house (snore), and then we finally get the verdict - by a score of 5-0, Nathan has been evicted.

Well, that's not a big surprise, is it? Nathan says that he has had a good run - and he acknowledged that he violated one of the most important rules of the game - Not to burn bridges.

Who's bridge will be burnt next? The next HOH competition revolves around cages - 3 of them, to be exact. The objective is to stay in the cage without letting your feet touch the ground. Every time 2 people get knocked out, the remaining people move to a smaller cage. Whoever is left is the last person standing in the cage match and gets to be the Head of Household.

We end the show with - no one being eliminated, as we run out of time before the houseguests run out of stamina. Tune in on a special Saturday edition to find out who wins - and who is next up on the elimination block.

8/16/03
(Gordon Pepper)

We have an oh, so special Saturday night episode this evening. We get the answers to what happened in the cage and who is going to be nominated. Of course, if you really cared on this, you would have already gone to a spoiler site instead of waiting until midnight on a Saturday evening/Sunday morning. But that's my job. Your job is to read this - and hopefully be entertained by it.

We start with all of them still in the cage - 4 hours later. I am sure that Jack really wishes that he was a strawberry in the Middle East right about now. Jun and Allison both need to use the rest room - and Jun decides to pee right outside of the cage. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

The first person to get out of the cage is Rob - and that pisses off Rob. With him and Justin out of the cage, the only person in there left for the stooges is Jee. At 4 hours and 25 minutes, they remaining 5 are all still in the cage. Jun decides to speed the game up and leave - as long as everyone says that they are not going to nominate her. They all agree (you are going to trust these people, Jun?) and they let her out.

When Jun is gone, they remaining cagers see that Justin is sleeping on the hammock and Rob is inside. Jack and Erika take advantage of this to set up some cage negotiations. Allison tells Jee that he will not make it to the final three - which Jee knows, but he can't betray the Stooge alliance. 'At some point, an alliance of three has to be cut to 2' says Erika, who is really trying to get rid of a stooge. It looks like it will work - Jee can't lose for the guys, but you can see that his will is waning. Jack tells Jee that he will leave when Jee does - which puts even more pressure on him.

Allison tells Jee that she will leave right after Jack - and they all say that they will vote out Robert. That seems to seal the deal with Jee, who will leave - when Jack does. Jack does depart - but now Justin wakes up. Jee says that he can't take it anymore and he leaves - with Justin not only watching, but grimacing. 'I think I just turned my back on Robert - that's my biggest nightmare in this game, I knew I would have to do it - I didn't think that I would have to do it this quickly.'

Allison was thinking about pulling a double-cross, but she realizes that it would not be good for her to do it, so at 6 hours and 33 minutes, Erika wins the Head of Household challenge - and the 3 stooges alliance is officially in deep doo-doo.

'I could have gone forever.' said Erika, who thought that she would have lost Jack - they feel very relaxed, but Jee is fighting his inner demons. He apologizes to the other 2 guys, who say that it's ok - but they have to fight this week. Jee excuses himself to talk to Erika and Jack, and they respect each other. Hmmmm - could this be a new alliance of three?

THat night, Erika decides to sleep in her own room, instead of the HOH room - but the next day, they move in. The stooges immediately leave, as Erika sees her own pillows and pictures of her dogs - then she starts to cry. AwwwwwwBarf. Everyone leaves her alone while she bawls her eyes out. 'My family is out there waiting for me - I know they are.'

It may be the Stooge's turn to cry when they discuss the food challenge. Jee suggests that they may have to eat something gross this time around - but the only thing that Erika walks out with is a bag of ping pong balls and an invitation to a clam bake, Hawaiian style. On each ping pong ball is a different day of the week. Hmmm...

Each person has a different day - and a different food covered plate. Each day has a seafood delicacy - and you can either eat what's on your dish, or trade it with the person on your left. If you trade, you must eat what you get off the trade. If you do not eat what's on your plate in 60 seconds, it's PB and J for everyone on whatever day you are representing.

Jun goes first - and she gets Gefilte Fish. Jun doesn't like Gefilte fish, (Jun's not Jewish - she's Korean', adeptly notes Allison), but she eats it. Justin, who already said that he won't eat anything nasty, won't eat what he gets (Lutefish) - but Jack says that he would, so they trade. Justin instead gets fried clams with hot sauce. He thinks that he is good to go - but the sauce in the baby clams is too spicy, and he winds up drinking more than he eats (but this is Justin, so that shouldn't surprise anyone). He fails, and the crew get stuck with a PBJ day.

"if you can sit through an autopsy, you can eat.' says Jack, who has no problem eating what Justin passed to him. Robert says that he will eat anything - will he eat albacore tuna eyeballs? 'I am not eating PB and J.' says Rob, who winds up eating the whole head, instead of only the eyeballs (which was the only part that he had to eat). He does get it down, and the crew can eat good for another day.

Allison gets codfish liver - and Jee knows that he can eat it. Knowing that, she passes - and gets octopus instead. Justin wanted that one - but Allison the drama queen is freaking out. 'The octopus is like, rubber. You can't penetrate rubber with your teeth.' Erika was pissed off at Allison and Justin - but not Jee, who is wolfing down the liver. It was a little tough, but he gets it down and the crew get 4 days of normal food.

Here's the schedule - Friday, Sunday, Monday and Wednesday are good food days, but Saturday and Tuesdays are PB and J days. 'I was impressed with what they did' says Erika.

We have some down time before the votes, so let's fill up the time with - working out! Everyone is getting more toned (well, when you have all of the down time, that's not hard to do as a hobby), Jee likes seeing the women doing some 'risque movements', while Robert is impressed with how he looks. Apparently, he is the only one who is impressed ('Robert is never going to be a musclehead' says Jun, while Erika replies with 'I can break him like a twig.' Nice.)

Erika and Allison discuss strategy - and they put the pecking order with Justin first, then Robert. Meanwhile Jee talks to Justin about their strategy - and possibly jettisoning Robert. Jee tells Justin that it's time to think of the game - and to set up the vote that in the event that Justin and Rob are posted up, to get rid of Robert. Jee then turns around to talk to Allison and Robert - and tells Allison that if Justin gets voted off, they want her to join them. Allison says that she would not want to be double-crossed. Tell Nathan about that, Allison.

It's time for the nominations - and Erika decides to vote strategically - which would be a first here in the Big Brother household. Here are the people - in order - who are safe: Jack, Allison, Jee and Jun. Your 2 nominees - for now - and Robert and Justin. She wants to get rid of 2 huge threats who are aligned - and she has to break up the alliance. 'There are people in this house that I have to take out - that's the name of the game.'

Erika does use her head - and everyone reacts the way that they would. Jack is happy, Erika and Jun want to stay under the radar, and Jee wants someone to run him over with the heaviest truck that they can find. He could feel even worse if Justin or Robert win the power of veto, which would force him on the block. Chico lets us know if that happens on Tuesday.

8/19/03
(Chico Alexander)

After Nate's eviction, the cast's (rightful) caging, Alison pimping whoever will listen to her, and two stooges nominated, you would think that there's some suspicion amongst the hamsters that remain in the house. You would think that, wouldn't you? Seriously, though, the stooges' pact starts to crumble, as Erika works with Justin and Robert.

That was day 42. Erika and Jack retreat to the desert room and congratulate themselves on a job well done. Enter Ali in a bikini for no reason. Erika sees the irony in that Justin, her ex, is up as a pawn to get rid of Robert, who's been very close with her.

Jun, meanwhile, tries to "clear the air" about her dual alliances, revealing that she has now scrambled to Mama Bear and Papa Bear. Baby Bear Robert thinks she's a scumbag for doing so. Enter Alison in a bikini, again, for no reason. Okay, for one reason. She's being scouted as Jun's replacement in the stooge's camp. Robert makes it no secret that Jun is a marked woman in the house.

Erika said that she would play the game by strategy, not emotion. So what is wrong with her? Not much apparently, as Erika and Jack also play both sides by tallying Alison and Jun, who really has no qualms about going back and forth, to their cause. "The Stooges are negotiating from a place of weakness." They warn Jun to be careful what she says to Alison. Rationale: "I love how Jun is taking people out, then we take her out.

Enter Alison, again, in a bikini. She and Erika talk about the last gambit by Jun, warning that Jee will vote Justin out. The veto will pretty much be crucial, especially if Jee gets it, the Stooges reveal. Erika later talks to Jee on the subject, saying that he cannot use the veto. Robert brings up the lying strategy. It's not that Jee hasn't thought about it, it's just that he's a man of his word.

Meanwhile, Alison (not in a bikini) and Jun are getting the idea to ally with each other. "Jun tries to jump from side to side, from HoH to HoH. And that's cool, because that's MY trick!" Alison debates. Once one of the guys leaves, it'll be Jack and Erika as a pair, the stooges, and the monkeys in the middle.

The houseguests are called into the living room, where we reveal America's Choice for who should get a letter from home. Actually, we're just teased. Jack is thinking about home. Alison is thinking about her boyfriend (if he's watching, he's probably her ex-boyfriend now)... and changing her name and leaving for Tijuana after this whole deal is over. Jun is thinking about Bob, her recent in a string of exes. But everyone seems to think that Robert will get the letter from his seven-year-old daughter.

It's time for the Veto Competition. Today, it's Video Veto. The rules are simple. One by one, the players will line up past Veto winners from first to latest in a way that will allow them to be lined up on five plasma screens lifted from the Pyramid set (they still have the scaffolding attached to them). Whoever does it the quickest will be Veto winner #6. If you remember correctly, it was Dana, David, Nathan, Robert, Robert. Alison and Jee both tried to throw the nomination. Jack has no sense of time management, as he gets the job done in eighteen minutes. Jun, on the other hand, holds her top up to coast to victory at a staggering time of 2:45.

NOW it's time to learn America's Choice. Who'd get the letter from home? Groovin' to the theme song... Oh yeah. One by one, the players are eliminated leaving the favorite, Robert. The plasma TV signals Robert to go to the Diary Room to receive his letter. Robert opens up his daughter's letter and begins to cry.

"Dear Pop,
How are you doing. Guess what? I got a new dog. His name is Mugsy. He's white with brindle spots. Guess what, I'm staring school tomorrow. I wonder what teacher I'm going to have. I wish you could be there. I learned how to ride a bike. I fell down a couple of times, but it was worth it. I've seen a lot of white butterflies since you've been gone. Have you seen any? Well, I really miss you. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Elena."

Robert told Elena if she ever saw white butterflies, it means that he's thinking about her and he's missing her. That and the letter just hits you right there, doesn't it? Robert proceeds to thank America for the opportunity.

Back to the game after that moment, Jack thinks it's funny to be the only non-ex in the house. Jun didn't see Jee coming for a mile, but she's grown to appreciate the person he's become. Alison and Justin were just... well, they refuse to discuss that, but Jack notes that they are two of a kind. Erika did not want Robert here, and Robert wanted nothing to do with Erika.

But maybe... Erika apologizes to Robert for all the things she did to Robert at the house. She regrets all the bad-mouthing she did with the hurt. Robert forgives her, and doesn't blame her. He had been a scumbag and now he's atoning for that misdeed. "So whaddaya say, you wanna get back together?" Excuse me for a moment... *laughs out loud* Oh man, I needed that. That and PB&J. Loves me some PB&J. Yum... What, no check this week? Freaks.

The Floaters are in the hot tub being paranoid about the rest of the houseguests, in particular Jack. "Honestly, he told me that he is laying low. And he was like (C-Note: I HATE those words), that's been my strategy from day one. To come in and not win anything." As much as you hate Ali, and believe me you know you do, you have to admit that she has it down to a science. Ali then seals the deal with Jun. "I don't think it's a bad idea, but personally, I can't stand the girl," Jun says.

We're right there, yo. So will she use the veto? Time to find out. Robert believes it's a lose-lose situation. Justin believes she is acting on behalf of her new alliance, but in the end, you do what you have to do. Jun understands perfectly, and hopes that the two will understand that she will NOT use the veto.

So the nominations remain intact, and tomorrow night, after some filler material, one of them joins up the jury. You know people seem to forget that the jury will inevitably decide the fate of the final two. One player will learn that the hard way next time.

8/20/03
(Gordon Pepper)

In a 'Where are they now' moment, we start off with a DiGiorno pizza ad starring - Chris Wilde. Yes, Mr. Taboo, Chris Wilde. I guess that game show stint didn't pay that much...

That is a nice segway to this episode, as someone else will start having where are they now moments when they leave the house. Will it be Justin, the head stooge? Or will it be Robert, the accomplice stooge?

After the traditional recap, we talk about strategizing - or lack of. The bonding is so strong that they will not campaign. The underlying point is 'Secret Alliances' 'Secret alliances are stronger than non-secret ones.' says Erika. Yes they are - especially when the game is now down to the small numbers. We see a small montage of everybody almost aligning with everybody - and everybody figuring out what's going to happen based on who wins the next Head of Household. It's pretty obvious, based on the alliances, who would be nominating who, but as Erika says. 'You can not win this game by being 100% honest.'

Here comes Julie live with the houseguests - and she makes fun of Jack in the Veto competition and Robert in the food competition. She also asks Allison about Justin - and if she learned anything. Allison says that she loves him inside the house. AwwwwBarf. Erika is glad that she mended some fences with Robert. Awwwwwwblah. Jee says that it's a difficult moment for him - as he's losing a friend as well as a teammate. AwwwGET OVER IT!!!! This is a tv show - you'll be seeing them in a few weeks! It's not like they are moving to Alaska.

We are up to the weekly montage - and this one is about Elena - Robert's daughter. Elena has a mommy - but it's not Erika - it's Natasha - and she's her ex too - because he is just like in BB4 - a fraternity boy. Natasha warns everyone to look out for his salsa dancing - and she doesn't see him settling down. Robert agrees - he wants to have sex with a different women every night, and I am wondering why he is the person who doesn't have the genital warts.

Next up - An interview with Erika, who really felt targeted last week - so she knew that she was going to win this week. She can't betray Jack, and even though she may not be friends with Robert, at least she can mend ways. As far as trusting him? 'Inside the house, it's war!' That would mean no.

Montage #2 - The Dream Team (3 Stooges, etc.) - though that montage is a little weaker thanks to Jee's betrayal. Regardless, they will all be friends together to the end, blah, blah, blah. That segways to a chat with Justin and Robert. Justin says that it's been great fun playing the game, while Robert thanks Erika for making up and the other stooges for creating friendships.

Montage #3 (Geez, we didn't have a lot going on this week, did we) - reflects on Dana. 'It would be a lot more fun if I had some people here...God I would love to have some good company.' I don't think that Nathan was who she had in mind. Nathan had the good front - but he has the 'Oh no, a week with Dana - I am sooo screwed' look in his eyes. It will be even worse when Nathan is stuck with a stooge.

But which stooge? Julie says that by a 3-1 vote, the next person (and first stooge) to leave is...JUSTIN. 'Oh God, get me out of his house.' is Justin's reaction, and he makes a quick and somewhat abrupt departure. The reactions are to be expected - Allison turns on the water works, Jee is consoling her, Erika turns the other way, and Jack and Jun are left in the kitchen.

Robert has no ill will against his stooges, who let him down - and he wasn't going to campaign (and I don't think that even if he did, it would do him any good). He has no ill will that he is out of the house and Allison is still in - and he thinks that her strategy will get her to the end - but not necessarily wins it all.

Justin gets to see the obligatory montage - Jack wants to recruit him for the FBI, while Jee, Robert and Allison pledge their friendship to him. Julie thanks Justin, and it's off to the jury house to play with Dana and Nathan.

With minutes left to go in the show, it's time for the HOH competition. The latest game is BOCCI! Whoever gets closest to the hole wins - and it's a must-win for Jack, as he, Jee and Robert are the only three who are seriously playing this week. True to form, Allison's ball is close to nowhere - and Jee's throw is just as bad, but it's good enough to be in the lead. Robert's throw is worse, and Jun makes a crappy throw. This leaves the door wide open for Jack - and his throw doesn't even clear the mandatory marker.

That is the dumb-ass move of the episode for Jack - and that could be his last as Jee is the new HOH. Secret alliances aside, Jee would be a complete idiot to not put up Jack and Erika on the block - and that's my guess. We'll see on Saturday if I am right.

8/23/03
(Gordon Pepper)

One of the interesting things about this game is that just when you think you have control, you don't. Jack and Erika get rid of a stooge - only to have Jack screw up the HOH challenge and let another stooge gain power right back. They need to win the veto in a game that Julie has said will now have a 'twist'.

What's twisted is that the deciding vote came from Justin's ex - Allison. 'I wanted to go along with the group.' Allison needs to be comforted - and this is coming from the woman who got rid of him. If you weren't convinced that Allison wasn't a two-timing weasel, you should be now - and everyone knows it. 'Her tears probably come from a remote control in her eye, probably controlled by her index finger. ' says Jun.

'I just choked' says Jack. Yep, that's a pretty good way to say it. Erika playfully fires him from the alliance, while Jee and Robert celebrate. 'The dream team is still running, and Justin if you get to see this, this one's for you, dude.'

Jee goes into the house - and he is greeted with knick-knacks from his sister and girlfriend. That's all he needs to go on. Allison, on the other hand, is still bawling about losing Justin. Waaaaaah. She goes to confront Erika, who says not to worry - she and Jack will be posted up. Allison is playing the drama queen - wondering what 'expect the unexpected' is.

Erika is taking no chances - she tries to ally herself with Robert, Meanwhile, Robert tries to do the same thing with Jack, but he's not buying what Robert is selling. Jee is not buying what Allison is selling, but 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.' The house is plotting to get rid of Allison - but if I was Jee, I would get either Erika or Jack out - THEN focus on Allison.

We begin the interlude of useless information with everyone complaining about Robert, who is fidgety. We continue with Jack talking about the JFK assassination with the conclusion that Oswald acted alone and that Oliver Stone got almost everything wrong in the movie.

The interlude is over - and all of the guests are called into the living room. They have to close the desert room and say goodbye to 2 more guests in the house - the turtles, Cuff and Link. We get a silly montage on the turtles. Is that really necessary? I guess so. Everyone says their goodbyes and the turtles are history. What's even more disconcerting to Jack is that him and Erika's private room is gone - so they will have to find a different place to strategize.

'I am an open and honest person, so I don't have anything to hide - except maybe my boobs'. That comes from Erika, as we turn our attention to the Big Brother cameras. Fast Forward to incidents where both Allison and Jun have lose their towels and their boobs have come out to play with the general public.

Erika talks to Jee - and he alludes that Erika and Jack are going to be nominated. Jack goes in to see Jee and he gets the same treatment. Jack seals his own fate when suggests that Jee nominates Robert. After Jack, Jun comes in and Jee tells her to be careful. Unbeknownst to Jee, Jun is carefully sharpening the knife to plunge into Jee's back as she has an alliance going with her, Allison and Erika.

With all of the filler gone, it's time to expect the unexpected. Julie tells the competitors that it's time for the Golden Veto competition - before the nominations are being presented. Everyone is being sent into different rooms and are given this dilemma - if you accept the veto, everyone, except you, will be eating PBJ FOR THE REST OF THE GAME. Everyone turns Julie down. The time is now shortened to 2 weeks. Again, everyone turns Julie down. Julie comes down with a last offer - 1 week of PBJ. Everyone again turns her down...except for one person.

The group hears about it - and Robert goes ballistic and throws pillows around. 'I'm pissed off.' says Robert - and Jee is shocked that he is the only person that accepted. Jack, Jun, Allison and Erika all figure out that it was Jee, and they all plot to get him out of the house when they have the chance. Robert, meanwhile, who thinks it was Jun who did it, tells Jee to put him up for nomination, because he can't stand to be in the house for 2 weeks. Jee tells everyone - and Robert is still pissed. Jee takes it to secure his nominations and guarantees Jack or Erika leaving. 'He really wants the nominations to stick, and I guess he wants to put the household through hell in order to make it stick.'

Jee may have guaranteed his nominations, but he may have cost himself the game. Jee states that he will eat PB and J with the rest of the group - and he thought that at least one person in the rest of the group would take it - but none of them did and the whole house verbally bitch slaps him before the show ends. 'In light of these events, Jee has gone from not being a target to being a target.' says Erika. This week's vote may be a fait accompli, but Jee better hope that Robert wins the next HOH or he's toast. Chico gives us the rundown on who Jee picks on Tuesday.

8/26/03
(Chico Alexander)

The players are at odds once again, and this time, it's all Jee's fault. After Justin got the heave ho, Jee gave into a deal he couldn't refuse as the new HoH, sentencing the rest of the house to PB&J for the rest of the week while he won the Golden Power of Veto, ensuring that his picks will remain intact. But who ARE his picks? Let's watch.

That was day 48. Jee is pissed (again) about Jun's questioning of his motive for everything that has transgressed in this round and making Jee look like a target. Robert thinks that he's just spouting garbage. "He's going to be a target regardless of what he's done today." Robert suggests to Alison that Erika and Jun be put on the block.

Jee and Jun are still going at it about the accusations that she made and the vulnerability that he is feeling. "Everyone says it's only a game and nothing personal. It's time to grow up," Jee notes in the Diary Room.

Nomination time, as Jee thought about putting up Erika and Jack before Jun's little tirade. It's a tough job, especially seeing that only six keys are left. Again, he's thinking about the dream team... or what's left of it, anyway. Jee pulls out Robert. Robert pulls out Ali. Ali pulls out... Jun. Which means that Erika and Jack have the lost keys and thus, are in danger of elimination. "Understand that this is not a move based on revenge. Logically this is the best move for myself and my alliance." Jack sees this as Justin's hand working from outside of the house, trying to break up the Erika-Jack alliance for the benefit of the exes. And this guy used to work for the feds? Yeah, you can tell. Both Jack and Erika prove that they are of one mind (which happens to be for rent at your local Wal-Mart) by saying that they won't campaign against their opponents, but they will campaign for themselves.

Robert read the predictability of the meeting. Not surprisingly, Robert wants Erika gone because "I do believe that she's the strongest player in the house." Cue Alison floating to Jee's side... AGAIN! Alison says that she will stick with the alliance AGAIN. Yeah. She'll stick with the alliance as long as they hold all the cards, that is. Then she'll just join back up with the Pinball Party and move elsewhere, but enough about what I think.

And speaking of which, Ali moves into the hot tub where she puts on a show for Erika, and frankly, not the kind of show that I would want. The kind where Ali feigns concern for the condemned and Erika does her poor child impersonation.

Once again, Alison is playing cards to get Jack out of the house. Jun thinks that Ali trusts her more. But of course, all of this is story time with Alison. "If he's throwing the competition, then why should he be on my team? If he isn't than he sucks so why would he be on my team anyway?"

The next day, the houseguests have more PB&J than they can stand. That looks like it's about to change thanks to BB3's Marcellas and his lucky lawn gnomes! He sets up a challenge that involves breaking lawn gnomes with hammers. At stake a meal a day for five days with the houseguest of their choosing all courtesy of the fine folks at McDonald's. But of course, there's not much fun in just hitting stuff. Don't get me wrong, it is fun to smash stuff into pieces, but this is a competition, we have to keep it interesting! There are golden tickets inside 18 of those cute little gnomes, BUT three evictees, Nathan, Psycho-Bitch, and Justin, have hidden black tickets as well. And if a houseguest finds one, they're hitting the bench. First player to find three golden tickets wins.

So in the words of Ben "The Thing" Grimm... IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!

Robert is the first to come up black. Erika was the first to come up gold. Jun and Alison are also out. Erika had two golden tickets, but then beat on black, leaving Jee and Jack. They both find two, but Jee finds three, and it's Golden Arches for him. Or is it? Yeah, it is. So Jee wins food for himself and Jack, while the rest of the players takes home a gnome of their own. How cute... NEXT!

Everyone thinks that Jee should've thrown the competition, because now he's marked. "He's (^_^) himself because now people are going to start hating him." Jee seems to think that it's karma acting itself upon the other houseguests.

Lunch time, and cue Jack with the product placement: "I deserved a break today, and I got it with McDonald's. And I needed a Big Mac, because I've been living on peanut butter. It was a very great time for the great taste of McDonald's." Okay, now that Jack has reminded us what the 80s were like...

We head to the hot tub, where the boys are mulling their options. The girls in the living room are mulling plans of their own to get rid of Jee. But is Alison just playing power politics again?

She's awake, isn't she?

It's another luxury competition, as the houseguests prepare to get primal. Each player must get their worst piece of clothing and go outside to find that they've accidentally walked onto the set of Survivor. "In an effort to encourage fashion harmony and ward off evil style spirits, we request that the offending items be ritually sacrificed. If everyone participates, you will receive a very special reward.' Erika torches Jee's orange shirt. Jun burns Jack's black trousers. Ali smolders Jun's fishnet top. Jack makes Ali's hot pants REALLY hot. Jee reduces Robert's red tank top to a cinder. And finally, Robert gets the honor of burning Erika's pink hat to a pink crisp.

"I think I have another one."

NOOOOO!!!

And because they all participated, they get a shopping spree at the Big Brother Boutique the next day. The players get 90 seconds to put on whatever they wanted. Whatever they can wear outside, they can keep. The biggest score came from Mr. Roman, who scored a sweet Versace shirt. And of course, Ali has to give her two cents.

Jack and Erika debate whether to ask Jee to use the veto on Alison. Jack confronts Jee with the plan first, and Jee says he will consider it. It's time again. Erika will leave it up to Jee. Jack outs Jee's plan and will accept what fate deals for him. And the hand of fate deals a no-veto for the round. Which could backfire. "Jee's best move would have been to nominate me and get me out of the house," Ali cockily quips, "because I'm like the plague, and I'm moving through the house, and I'm going to take out both sides."

But as she is soon to forget, with the next two evictions, the power now shifts to the jury. If you keep Ali in the house for as long as possible, that could be an easy ticket to the half-mill at the cost of being betrayed by her AGAIN. The only winning strategy in this house: suspect everyone, trust no one.

Tomorrow, either Ms. Landin or Mr. Owens will learn that the hard way.

8/27/03
(Gordon Pepper)

Last time we left our 6 stalwarts, they were scheming away - and the main schemers and Erika and Jack - as one of them will soon be leaving the house. But it seems like alliances will be replaced by the Battle of the Sexes. If that's the case, then Jee's move is going to royally backfire.

Especially when you have 2 female votes and one male vote - but Robert thinks that Allison will get rid of Erika. Why? What logic could possibly suggest that? Jee is trying to suggest it by sharing McDonalds with everyone. Instead of making peace - he is getting resentment. 'Jee is as big of a target as he ever was.' says Jack.

Erika is more concerned about her own existence. 'I'm not campaigning against Jack - I'm campaigning for me.' as she explains to the girls that a 3 person female alliance can take out any 2 man male alliance. They seem to agree with that, while Allison seems to be working both angles - what else is new? Robert and Jee realize this - and they realise the mistake that Jee may have made by sticking Jack up on the block. Their strategy changes to eliminating Erika.

We now switch live to the Big Brother guests - and Julie has remnants of the fashion clothing that they have sacrificed. Jee apologizes for being rude - bot because of the food challenge, but because he is out of cigarettes. Robert is not a happy puppy about the lack of food - but he understands Jee's decision. Erika and Jack got to talk about how much they would miss the other person. AwwwwwBleh.

And now, a private moment with Allison's boyfriend. OOPS. Donny is her boyfriend, and he certainly can't be happy with what he is seeing her woman do on TV. He isn't. 'Allison's going to have some explaining to do when she gets home.' D'oh. Allison's parents are concerned about Donny's well-being and Donny is looking like Allison may have taken a piece of his brain as a souvenir when she went into the Big Brother house.

Also not thinking like a rational human being is Jee - as he actually wants Jack to stay in the house. Well, why did you nominate him? Duh. Jee also says that it was strategy to deprive some people of the Fast Food, so they can be a little sluggish for the next HOH. I don't think that pissing people off in terms of food will get you good karma in this game, Jee. There is one thing that he's smart about - he will lose against Robert, but he will probably beat either Jun or Allison if he's in the final 2 with them. So he wants to keep them both in - but the problem is that the two of them may wipe him - and everyone else - out before he can get to the final two.

And speaking of that jury, we get to see them - and Justin and Dana make out while Nathan spends a lot of quality time either alone or makes himself look like an idiot in front of Dana and Justin. 'I got my buddy back' says Dana, as she and Justin have fun in Loserville. They all get to see Allison - and there's 3 votes against her. They could put Freddy Krueger against her - and Freddy would win the $500,000. I am sure that everyone who is currently in the house knows that.

There will be one more person who will not be in the house - and Jack and Erika have one more chance to pleas their case. Does anyone really think that their end speech will change their minds? We get the votes, this week, LIVE - and Robert, of course, votes for Erika. Jun, not surprisingly, votes to get rid of Jack. It all comes down to alliance-playing Allison...'I vote to evict Jack.' So the female alliance is not born, and the men are in deep deep doo-doo.

Robert is shocked, Jack whispers some strategy to Erika, Robert tells the group that it was the right decision, and Jee is continuing to make one extremely bad after another extremely bad decision.

Jack is here to see Julie and to get his final debriefing. As for Jack not winning a single competition, Jack says that he threw one of them - but not the rest of them - and not the last one that cost him the game. He wanted to be a parent figure instead of giving orders - and it worked for a while, but the failure to win the last 2 competition coupled with the fact that he picked the wrong alliance came back to haunt him. We get the mandatory respectful goodbyes, with him being classy about it. 'I played a game with kids, and the kids played it better than me.'

One of the kids will be playing it much better than Jack - and will be holding all of the cards for the next elimination. Apparently, things have been disappearing - and reappearing - in the house - a fact that everyone in the house did, in fact, notice. The houseguests will be asked questions about the items that have vanished. They can buzz in whenever they want, but one wrong answer not only knocks them out of question, it knocks them out of the GAME. The person who gets the most amount of questions right, or the last person left in the game, wine the HOH for the week.

The guys figure out the items are missing first - but then Jee tells Allison - and tells her to not tell the women. Duh. Of course, Allison tells the girls, and the game is afoot.

Now that the women know, they are using their power of observation - and they (6 correct) are destroying Robert (1 correct). Jun gets three of them right, and she becomes the new HOH. Robert and Jee can only stare in disbelief as Jee, in the span of 2 weeks, has completely destroyed the Stooge Alliance all by himself.

But the surprises aren't over yet. Jun is also being removed from the house - but this is a good surprise - she will be taken via a limo to her hometown (NYC) to the MTV Music Awards in NYC! Jun has to put on a blindfold and leave the house immediately - which she does without hesitation.

As for the other houseguests...well, they don't know that she's not there, since Julie didn't tell them. In a few days, they will finally figure it out - and then we will see what that has to do with the Bolden Power of Veto.

8/29/03
(Gordon Pepper)

After seeing the Yankees get spanked, we may see the Stooges hopes of staying as a unit get spanked too now that Jun has gotten HOH. They should only be spanking themselves because they should never have been dumb enough to A. put Jack on the block and B. trusting the women to not gang up on the men. 'This is a victory for the angels' says the head devil, Allison.

We start the aftermath - with Allison trying to apologize and Robert now buying what Allison is selling. 'It's not fair that those evil girls will be doing what they want to do...The bigger scumbag you are in life, the better chance that you have to win...I guess evil people should win this.' says Robert, as he is sulking in the backyard and threatening to stay outside until 1am. Well, you guys keeps the evil girls here - and now they are in charge of the game and rejoicing.

But where's the current HOH? She's at the MTV Music awards - but the guests don't know that. The guests are waiting for around a half an hour, when Allison comes into the room that Jun went into - and there's no Jun. 'I'm a little bit nervous that a guest has disappeared...and we're probably eating peanut butter and jelly for another week because of it.'

The guests are summoned to the backyard, where they are greeted with a 'Jun's missing' sign and a big apple. The veto competition is for the guests to figure out where Jun is. The first person to figure out who wins gets the Veto - but you only get one guess. If none of them get the answer, then the veto goes to Jun.

Robert and Jee stare at the apple - and they are on the right track when they think that she's in New York - but they don't know what's going on there at that time. They then decide that she's not in NY - and then Jee wonders why he's sharing his answers with Robert, the man who really needs the veto. The girls also figure it out that it's in New York. They all decide to wait for the second clue.

The guys talk about what to do with the money - and they all say that they want to give the money to a relative - except for Robert, who wants a fresh start. Jee wants a house for the family, Erika gets a house for her mommy, and Allison wants to pay off her loans. For Robert, a fresh start would be a porsche - just the one that his lawyer has. You get the feeling that the last phrase let us know a lot more about Robert than you'd think...

Why are the women so pissy at the guys? The PBJ for everyone, except Jee. Remember when Jee says that he'd eat PB and J with everyone else? Well, he's been cheating - and the women have noticed that he has been smuggling Turkey sandwiches into the HOH room. 'The whole house wants him out.' says Erika.

This week's food challenge takes place in the ballroom - not a dancing ballroom, but a room full of balls. The team has to jump into a pit of balls - but the catch is that the food must be in alphabetical order. 'If you see octopus, don't put it in.' Jee is hoping that the event will distract them - not a chance, Jee.

Almonds, Bratwurst, Brie, Cola, ground beef, halibut, italian sausage, lasagna, lutefish, salmon, scampi and tuna are some of the items that the team won. They fool around with the balls when jee finds something that they didn't bother to find - lobster. D'oh! They do get a lot of food, though, and Robert celebrates by bringing a bunch of it to bed with him.

Allison comes to apologize - but the guys aren't buying what she's selling and they tell her that she would lose in a head-to-head against both women. The only shot that she would have would be against the guys - according to the guys. Allison thinks that she's played better than the girls - and she may be aligning with the guys - again.

Before she convinces Jun, she has to find her - and maybe clue #2 will be of help. Clue #2 is a videotape - too bad that they have no vcr. 'It look like Jun is going to have the power of veto' says Rob.

Jun, however, is not thinking about that - she's thinking about the party that she's going to go to. WHile she's primping, the houseguests are racking their brain, and waiting for the third clue. Allison thinks that she knows it - the MTV Music Awards - but she will wait for that third clue to confirm it. That clue should indeed be the clincher, as the guests all come out - and see a huge astronaut. They are discussing it - and someone does ring the bell - but that someone is not Allison - it's Robert, and he guesses....Space Mountain. WRONG. Robert (and whatever little brain capacity that he has left after eating peanut butter and jelly for a week) is out of the Veto competition.'

Jee rings the bell next - and he decides to take a guess. Allison does figure it out and she rings the bell. Of course, her guess of the MTV Music Awards is right - but did Jee guess it correctly first? Allison still thinks that she is wrong, because Jun cannot possibly be there -but she is, and the people there are psyched for her. Jee is pumping his fist into his hand - which means that he got it wrong. 'People at the house, I'm sorry, but I'm here, and you're not, and I'm having a blast!'

The door has another massage - the winner is Alison. Jee's guess of the Space Needle is wrong, and that guarantees that a guy is going bye-bye. 'The dream team's dream has been shattered, thanks to the power of the golden veto' gloats Allison. For the second straight week, we find out who wins the veto before we get the nominations - and for the second straight week, Chico will tell us who the nominees are.

8/26/03
(Chico Alexander)

After winning the HoH, Jun got another surprise as she was snuck away in the greatest of secrecy to last Thursday's MTV VMAs. This was the PoV competition, a competition that she won. So for better or for worse, we get to see where her true loyalties lie... That's right. Herself. That was day 55.

"God, I wish I won that. I wanted to wear a suit and look like money."
"I am so jealous."
"She was on a TV show!"

That was Robert and Erika being incredibly envious and Ali being incredibly... well, stupid is an understatement. So Space Mountain and the Space Needle go by the wayside... and so does Jee. The rest of the time is filler in the greatest sense of the word, so we'll just wait until Jun gets back. Meanwhile, I'll leave you to Ali and Erika discussing taking each other to the finals and more battle-of-the-sexes antics, as we flashback from previous HoHes.

Meanwhile, both Alison and Jee are strategizing their roles to the maximum in regards to their jealousy towards Jun. Yep, fifteen minutes on and this, and a commercial, is all that happened. Oh yeah, and Ali pours on Erika more faux sugar than a Splenda factory.

Back to real playing, as Ali is sprawled on a bikini on the floor (again). Jee tries to talk her into using her PoV on him or Robert and go after Erika. "Screw off, Jee!" Yeah, that's to be expected.

Talking about exes now. It's the insane exes' quiz, no conferring. Alison and Justin were broken up for seven months, so how does Jee figure that was two months before entering the house when they've been in the house for two months? Mail your best explanation to [email protected].

Twenty minutes on, the doorbell rings, and we concentrate on all of Erika's heavenly glory as she races to answer it. It's Jun from the VMAs. And it's story time with Jun. Of course, she doesn't mention the on-stage three-way between Britney, Madonna, and Christina. Apparently how Erika and Alison are jealous is more important.

So now Jun has fans. Yay. Will one of her fans be Ali, current Veto holder? Only time will tell.

Right now, though, the houseguests are looking forward to goodie bags from home. Only Jun will get that luxury, though, as she is HoH. She gets a package and a note from her last conquest Bob, who was headed to the VMAs. She also gets a Pet Shop Boys CD. Cash money. After the other houseguests leave, Jun's other ex-boyfriend Jee tells her that the women in the House were talking trash about her, out of jealousy, while she was gone. With that bit of business taken care of, Jee takes his hard-man cut and leaves. Reenter Alison and Erika, who find out what Jee just said. Alison, of course, lies to make herself look better.

So, at least for now, it's still boys on girls.

The next day, and it's a not-so-happy 24th for Jee. A pie makes it happy, though, but still Jee would rather spend it with people who love him. Wouldn't we all. Robert and Ali chat about how big of a threat that Erika and Jun are. Ali comes to realize that taking Robert to the finals will at least assure her of the jury votes that she needs. I REALLY hate to say this, but now the little hussy's thinking. "I'm Big Floater! I float 'til the end!"

Jun wrangles the hamsters into the living room. We're making another big screen version of "1984." No, not really, but another Big Brother house is involved: the jury house. The players have to create a movie based on the antics in the jury house. If they succeed, they get to watch it with popcorn.

What the hell kinda prize is that?!

So here's the dramatis personae (or "cast", if you still think Roman is a dead language), Erika as Dana, Robert as Nathan, Jee as Justin, and Alison as Jack. Directed by Jun. An magnum opus in the making. No, really. (sarcasm meters shoot off sparks all over the country).

And the movie wraps. Finally. Alison blatantly lies again: "Robert is not making it through to the finals." She wrangles Jun into the living room, where she tells her of Robert and Erika conspiring to keep each other in the game. "If Erika stays, she'll (^_^) up the whole program.

Jun and Jee are still trying to shake up some form of alliance in the late hours of this round. Who would she want out of the game if she were to make the nominations now? Ali. But on the same token, Erika and Robert can't stand each other, so Jee is told to stay away from the girls and keep it cool (what one thing has to do with the other, I don't know).

The time has come for Jun to announce the nominations. The most assured of themselves, conveniently, are the two who are on the chopping block. But who are they? Jun secures Erika. Erika secures... Robert. So there you go. Jee and Ali are nominated this week. "You both are the strongest players in this house." In confessional, though, Jun reveals that Ali is a pawn to knock out Jee. "My alliance with Jee is kaput."

But the X factor, the Power of Veto, is still in play, as Alison still holds the bling. Will she use it to save herself? Find out live tomorrow, as Pepper peppers both Jee and Alison like only he can.

9/3/03
(Gordon Pepper)

Tonight is Act II of the Fall of the House of Stooge. The movie is starring Robert and Jee, co-starring Jun and Allison, with a cameo by Erika. Jun has the power - but the question is Allison, who is also on the chopping block - but she also has the power of veto, so she can get herself out of the chopping block.

Before we get to that, we see a review of what happened - and the guys think that Allison didn't know. Unbeknownst to the guys, they did know, and they set everything up for the guys. Erika does a happy dance, which means that everyone knows what's going to happen - Allison will take herself off of the block, and Jun will then put Robert up.

Robert, however, is planning out hi own strategy - 'If Jee goes, then I will be the only one left with three girls...I think that I can manipulate the girls - every one of them.' He asks Erika out on a date, and he thinks that he's got Erika under his finger. Wrong. 'There's no way in Hell that I'd go out on a date with him.' says Erika. Jee also thinks that he has a secret alliance with Jun. Wrong. 'Our alliance has been broken.' says Jun.

Everyone is strategizing - and Allison is remembering when Marcellas didn't use the veto on himself - and paid the ultimate dumb-ass move of the episode price. Allison thinks that she would have rather see Donny in his first football game (though Donny thinks otherwise), Robert is happy that he is still there - happier than being with the women, Erika thinks that the women are strong, and Jee wishes Carmen a happy anniversary - and I think that he'll be seeing Carmen quicker than he thinks.

We get a profile on Robert's fast talking. 'The only problem is that I'm here to call him out...Robert is a lying, cheating son-of-a-bitch.' says Erika. Well, that answers that, doesn't it. So this filler is about Robert lying to everyone. 'I don't believe a word that he says. I don't even think that his name is Robert.' says Allison, the queen of being double-faced. Yawwwwwwn.

We see an interview with Jun. Jun's alliance with Jee is over - and she doesn't need him anymore, nor does she want him in the house anymore. 'He's just a threat that I don't need to worry about.' She wasn't concerned about the guys winning the veto - and she doesn't trust Allison or Erika. She does know that Allison wants Jun in the finals - and she wants to go up against Allison. Hmmmm....

We get our first look at the loser house - and we see that Dana and Justin pretty much hung out for the whole week with Nathan looking on. Nate asks Justin to run - and he tells Nate that he got his cardio in for the day. Nice.

Nathan wants a snuggle buddy - I don't think that Jack is the one that he was thinking about. He does get a water balloon buddy - as they pelt him with balloons - or try to 'Only two of them hit me (out of 10), which is typical of how we compete in the Big Brother House.' That's the quote of the night right there.

From tape to live - Allison has the choice to take herself off of the meat market - and she does. 'I have decided not to use the golden power of veto on Jee - and used it on myself.' Jun replaces Allison, to no surprise, with Robert.

So the bootees are now Jee and Robert. They can say their last piece - and maybe change people's minds (though we know that they won't - why does Julie even bother say that?). They both think the women are strong players, and I'm going to go to sleeeeezzzzzzzOH wait a second - the women are going to vote.

Allison goes first - and she votes for Jee. We know that Jun would get rid of Jee in a tie-breaker, so Erika's vote is academic. It turns out that it doesn t matter. 'I vote to evict Jee.' By a 2-0 count, Jee can now go see Carmen.

Jee says his goodbyes - but he did it to himself, and he knows it - though he's surprised that he's out. We have silence in the room - and Robert knows that he needs to win. But enough about him - Jee realizes that it's all part of the game, and he holds no grudges. Robert, on the other hand, thinks Jee, will be having a miserable time in the house this week. We get the 'we all love you' speeches from everyone. 'Jee I can't believe that you are leaving me here with these three girls.' laments Robert. Jee leaves, and possibly kicks himself for what might have been had he had some extra willpower in that cage - or some less megalomaniacal power as HOH.

Right now, we get to see who has the new megalomaniacal power as we compete for the HOH. It's another who said what - but this time you have to fill in the quote from the people who are currently in the jury. Whoever gets the most amount of questions right becomes the new HOH. After 8 questions, all that we were successful in doing is eliminating Allison, as Rob and Erika wind up in a 5-5 tie.

Here is the tiebreaker - how many hours have they been in the house? Who ever is the closest WITHOUT GOING OVER wins. The answer is 1,434. Erika was closer - but Erika's guess of 1,440 was over by 6 hours. Robert gets the HOH - and he saves himself from certain elimination.

But who does he put up? He knows that he can beat both Jun and Allison in the final 3 - therefore, he needs to put up JUN AND ALLISON in order to have any shot of getting to the Final 2. Robert isn't going to beat Erika - but Erika knows that she can beat Robert and she is the only person who would take him to the finals. If Jun and Allison are left with Robert (who, depending on the new rules, may or may not be able to compete for HOH), Robert is gone - and he knows it. His only shot will be to get rid of either Jun or Allison - and hope that Erika allies with him at the end.

Will he? Will she? Will they? Will we find out on Friday? Only one way...

9/5/03
(Gordon Pepper)

We get this episode in progress, thanks to the fact that the Yankee game ended early after my Bronx Bombers get shellacked by Pedro and the Red Sux. It's not like you missed anything on a Friday episode - all we usually get is the nominations at the end - but not before the contestants scheme and Allison gets freaked out by something.

In this case, the something this week is BUGS. Allison goes on a bug and spider crusade, and the rest of the guests stay far away from her. We also have spiders, which freak out everyone.

'I don't know how much more attention a beauty queen would need, but Allison needs more attention than I do.' say Jun. Allison talks about her breach birth - and how she needed ittle tubes in her brain. That would explain a lot. 'She would be reborn as some evil child, not as some miracle baby.' says Jun. Allison also says that she had meningities - which would also explain a lot, but the houseguests aren't buying what Allison is selling. Allison says that she is a fighter. 'She's the most macho guy in this house.' says Erika.

Here comes the scheming part. Robert calls Jun into his room. He tells Jun that he wants Allison out of the game. He told Jun that he told Erika before - and he did. Jun is thinking about this both ways - she knows that she can probably beat Allison if they get to the final 2 - or 'if I bring Allison in with me to the finals, some people may resent that I gave Allison a chance to win.'

Meanwhile, Allison thinks that there is a secret alliance between herself and Jun - it's not so secret though. Allison tells Robert that she has pissed too many people off - and she just wants to be taken to the finals. 'There are only 3 people left, and 2 of them have to go on the block, so you really ca't campaign as much.'

'The mood around nomination time is never good.' understates Erika, and we are just about to that time. Robert is actually looking forward to getting rid of one of his opponents. The other women, who are squirming around, aren't feeling as fortunate. In the last nomination for BB4, Robert pulls up the eviction - and he reveals that Erika is safe. Jun and Allison are currently on the block.

Robert does follow my strategy - sort of. He thinks that both Allison and Jun can beat him in the finals, so he wants to get rid of them now. What does Allison think? 'Robert fears me - I'm kind of excited about it...it's going to take a small army and about half a dozen mack trucks to keep me from winning that veto.'

So who wins the Veto? Chio will tell you - assuming that his show is not pre-empted by anything - on Tuesday.

9/9/03
(Chico Alexander)

Hand it to Robert for winning HoH when it counts, we said. If Jun and Alison weren't on the block this week, he was a dead man, we said. "I nominated Jun and Alison," he said. That was day 62. And that was gratuitous boob shot #584.

So here we are. A sunny afternoon, and Robert and Erika are still up to old tricks, figuring out what Ali and Jun's next game is. Robert's certainly thrilled that he made it to the end and he's not one of the people nominated. Hold up, kemo sabe. You're not in the finals yet. And even so, as the Probst once noted, it's one thing to get to the finals, but it's another thing to get the votes you need to win the half-mill.

On the other hand, Erika doesn't really see her safe key as a safe key, because the only safe key this week is the veto. Meanwhile, she's worrying of a lack of drama. Ali and Jun say, "Not today." You promise?

But that doesn't stop Ali from talking the smack. "[Robert] basically said I was a dumbass." But Ali, you ARE a dumbass. Or at least a damn good actress.

Erika chooses to isolate herself by the pool, and all of a sudden, it's overcast as Robbie makes the scene. Coincidence? I think not. But in all fairness, Robert is feeling lonely without his guy pals around to pal around with. So the closest is his ex, who honestly could just kick his butt for free. After being lectured on what passes for history here, Erika agrees to take the butt to the finals within her power and luck, of course.

Dinner, and we have take out from... well, a four-star restaurant of some sort. Ali and Jun take the meal up for some strategic intercourse (heh, that's a new term if I ever heard one). Ali calls Robert out as a liar. Takes one to know one. Jun calls Erika out as an apartment-dwelling girly... err, girl. Ali's greatest strength is also her greatest weakness: being up on the block and willing to do anything to get her hands on the veto. Jun still wants her to go up against in the final (see above Probst remark, she knows everyone hates her). But if one of the others gets the veto, then she'll be a little more than hard to deal with, believe me.

Next up, we have the stress/startled montage, as everyone talks about everyone else and everyone else is being paranoid about it. Observe: Alison goes to the toilet, Erika hears the toilet, grabs Jun, and talks to Jun. Alison has a perfect view of the living room where Jun and Erika are talking, Alison spies. Dead silence in the WC for the next half-hour. Jun heads for bed at 1:31a. More dead silence.

Next day, and the veto competition is here. Erika gets it, she can secure her place in the final, while having to make a life-altering decision. Rob gets it, "that'd be sweet." Jun agrees, as she wants to take Ali out.

While all this is happening, Ali goes over to her altar of picture people and asks them for the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles, and the speed of Mercury to transform into the world's bitchiest mortal at the mere utterance of a single word. Yeah, not gonna happen, sister.

Time for the final veto competition. This time, it's not plastic. It's not golden. It's a Diamond Power of Veto. It's only difference aside from the plastic being translucent, is that since there are four people left in the game, whoever yields the power will choose who will be in the final three with Robert. The final veto lies atop a golden pyramid, eight steps high for each week in the house. They must match up nominees for eviction by week, starting with the first and ending with the latest. First one to do is wins the diamond veto. Ali must've shouted "Shazam!" or something, as she is the first to sweep the nominations, to scale the pyramid, and to wrest control of the diamond.

The game is over, but the bitchiness continues, as Ali cites the sickness of Erika dropping to her knees and hugging her. One person who's scrambling for a new plan is Robert. But even Ali's moment in the sun is bittersweet, as she has to ditch an alliance-mate. Erika thinks that she won't be the one. Robert's sure that Ali is going to vote Jun out. Alison has other plans. But here's the rub yet again. "I promised them both I'd keep them, so now I'm kinda screwed."

Once again, we're by the HD groovin' out to the theme music. Last week's America's Choice question: Which Houseguest would you like to see receive a T-Mobile phone call? America's choice... in a moment. Robert worries about outside love. See what happens when you set up a no-fly zone over the house? No banners = no outside love.

"The wardrobe for today's luxury competition was prison clothing," Robert notes. There are just tooo many things to read into that. The hamsters are making a break from Big Brother via an obstacle course similar to what you might see on either "GUTS" or "That's My Dog", and if they're one of the two quickest, they'll win a tour of LA on the world-famous Goodyear blimp. Robert lasted 1:58. It's quick, but in the grand scheme of things, it really sucked. Erika, who isn't really a fan of heights, performed even worse at 2:49. Alison and Jun, on the other hand, make the course its monster to win the trip.

Afterwards, it's time to find out America's Choice as we see a T-Mobile phone on the table. Ooooooh, cell phone. The familiar T-Mobile tone rings out loud, but who is the call for? It's 818. A small child answers it from the BB4 kiosk outside the house. "Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Who's this?"

"Pop?"

"HI MAMA!"

It's Elena. Another reach-out-and-touch-someone moment... Yeah. Elena got a visit from the tooth fairy, and it turns out she's paying large scale: $5. She's in school and her dog drives her mom nuts. So Robert, the slime of the house, is America's choice for daddy of the month after that. Once again, Robert thanks his daughter and America, before bawling like a big baby.

Meanwhile, I was hoping for Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Ali and Jun, two airbags in their own right, get to join their airbag brethren on the Goodyear blimp. So the take off sucked, but the ride more than makes up for it, as Rob and Erika think evil thoughts about a certain blimp while having a view of the blimp from the house. The sign reads: "CONGRATULATIONS BIG BROTHER 4 HOUSEGUESTS, FINAL FOUR, WE'RE FLYING HIGH!"

Back in the house, Ali and Jun rejoin from the secret passage. And they rejoin the exercise/smack talking regimen, as Erika is the main target. Jun agrees. "That bitch from LA won last year, we're taking this back to the east." All of a sudden, BB4 is now a bicoastal rivalry. Which side will get the props, and will Ali use the veto to save herself? It's bag-packing time tomorrow. Stay there.

9/10/03
(Gordon Pepper)

Let's imagine that you are a blond who may or may not be a ditz. You know that everyone hates you - and you are trying to figure out how to come in first. Who do you get rid of? The person who you can't stand - but who may be the best person to go up against? (Jun) Or the person who you like - but who you will lose to in the finals (Erika). To make matters worse, you promised both people that you won't get rid of them, so whoever you do get rid of is someone who will vote against you...because you are a ditz.

Meet Allison - and we open this show on her plight. Will she use the Power of Veto to save herself? Well, duh....but weirder things have happened, so let's tune in to see what's going on. We start with the mandatory flashbacks - and Allison is flip-flopping all over the place - which is to be expected. Therefore, Erika and Jun both have alliances with Allison to go to the final 2.

Allison asks Robert what he should do - and he said that he'd get rid of Jun. Duh. The reasoning is that the jury would give Allison votes if she got rid of Jun. Meanwhile, Allison talks to Jun and asks her for her advice. Outside, Robert apologizes to Erika about the kind of guy that he is. 'I can be a better person - not the obnoxious person that you left behind.' Now is this because they reconcile, or is this Robert's plan to win $500,000? Erika is buying what Robert is selling, and she has to leave and have a good cry. The smart play, of course, is to get rid of Erika - but will Allison do the smart thing?

We are back to Julie - and she talks about the balloon ride, Erika and Rob hanging out, and Jun missing Jee because she has no one to pick on 'and he was good at throwing out the trash.' We also talk about Rob's talk with his daughter - and how he needed to hear her after spending over 2 months in the hotel. Finally, Allison is glad that she has the veto - and is the center of attention.

The current center of attention is the HOH - Robert. We see how the women are driving him crazy in the flashbacks. 'Allison's voice drives me crazy...Jun talking about sex - she's horny - whatever, I don't want to hear it...then there's Erika - I am sexually frustrated, and having Erika walk around doesn't help me at all.' Jun complements that with 'I'm a dirty little whore.' Nice.

We now have a live chat with Rob - and he's surprised how he's changed with Erika. He just wants to have a friendship - and the flirting is a blatant gameplay. Robert says that if Erika leaves, he would be safer with Allison. As for the 'bitches, sluts and whores' comment? He's not happy about it - but hed be happy with just getting to the finals.

David and Amanda also got happy - with each other. We see the Where re We Now section - and David goes back to the beach, Michelle goes back to college, and Amanda went back to Chicago. Ho-hum. 'My thought with the night with Dave - this is something that just happened.' David said that his grandmother was thrilled about it - but Michelle was disgusted - and did not return David's phone calls. Amanda, on the other hand, did go to CA for a week to visit Dave - and they are now good friends. ;Is it love? Right now, it's too soon to tell.' They all finish with how good of a time they had. Whoopee.

From the non-voters to the jury - we see the 4 of them fish before we see the emergence of Jee. 'Dana is the only girl who's there - and she's looking very good right now.' says Nathan - I'm sure that Jee didn't help - not when he tells Justin that 'I'm sure you've been getting it on.'

Jee has the tape of the last episode - and they see the women's alliance. The men, after eating steamed fish for dinner, are steamed themselves. That's not good for the women left in the house - what's not good for Jee is him getting pelted by the water balloon brigade while he's sitting unaware on a flotation device in the pool. Ouch.

It's time for the Veto - will Allison use it and save herself? 'There are only 4 of us left, and I don't want to take the risk of being evicted.' She uses it - which means that she now also decides who gets to leave the house. We get the final pleas from Erika and Jun - and this time it may mean something, since Allison changes her mind once every 2.3 seconds - but it won't because both of them say that there's nothing more that can be said.

Let's hear who Allison chooses...'This is not something that I want to do , this is something that I have to do, because I have to play the game. I nominate Erika.' Allison is weeping the fake tears, Robert is weeping the fake tears, and Erika is happy that she finally gets to go out of the house. Erika? 'I do feel betrayed, but I don't blame her.' Erika thinks that Allison could win this game - but I doubt it - she has burned way too many bridges. Erika was glad that she talked to Robert - and she thinks that maybe a friendship can be made. She thanks Big Brother for that. Erika gets the good-bye montage. They all love her - and Allison admits that she can't beat Erika in the end. Erika gets to go to the jury house.

Back in the house, Robert is cursing out the women (no surprise) and he realizes that he MUST win the last HOH to get to the finals - but if he does, it's a $500,000 win, because I can't see him losing to either Jun or Allison in the finals. But we only get to see part 1 of the three part HOH competition tonight. Whoever wins round 1 automatically wins round 3. Whoever wins round 2 joins them - and whoever wins round 3 is the final HOH and is guaranteed to move into the finals.

Here's the first part - There are 3 miniature houses. They all have to stand on the house as they stick their key into a mini keyholder. Can you guess what's going to happen when Julie asks them if they are holding on tight? Yep - whoever hold on the longest without letting go, slouching, etc. will win the first part of the challenge.

Naturally, we will not see the end of the first challenge, but Julie wants the guests to suffer a little before we leave, so the guests are greeted with a little indoor snowstorm before we go off the air.

There's no show on Friday, so we go to Tuesday with Chico, as he tells us who wins - and who loses.

9/16/03
(Chico Alexander)

After Erika left last week, all three players were deeply entrenched in the HoH competition that would decide who would be going to the finals. The first part required stamina to hold onto the Id... err, housekeys. And did we mention that it was snowing?

Kid: "It doesn't snow in Los Angeles!"

You think so, huh? Check this out. Day 69, and we're just saying goodbye to Erika. We go to the snow. If you didn't read above, part one is this trial. Part two will come later. The winner of part one will face the winner of part two in part three. Ali's all business. Even as it starts snowing again.

Cue to a flashback where Robert's making nice with the women. During the challenge, he tries to atone for those words. "I don't understand why Robert would admit to us why he called us all those horrible names! It really pissed Alison and I off," Jun said.

Snowing again. This time, all three are in a frostbite phase, so much for Jun that she rolled her hands into her shawl. However, in doing so, she removed her hands from her key and as soon as you can say "brain move, Sherlock", almost all hope was gone for the erstwhile Ms. Song.

After Jun leaves, Robert strikes a deal with Ali to go to the finals if she wins. You sure you want to deal with HER?! Both are blue in the lips still, as Robert says "I'm done" while Ali takes it into consideration... at 99 percent certainty. So Ali wins part one and advances to part three. But remember that this is a double elimination.

And speaking of double elimination, Ali and Jun talk about what Rob just said. Jun doesn't want Rob to have a chance at winning HoH in part two. "He might take Alison." Yeah, he might. Actually, he would, considering the kind of smarts we're dealing with. Ali and Rob hit the hot tub. Because it's hot. And Ali needs a bikini scene today. Ali tells Rob of what Jun said. "I was just trying to make sure that Robert would take me to the finals if he won HoH," Alison noted.

That night, Jun and Ali revel in their level of being focused. Enter commercial.

Big box on the lawn, as Robert goes to investigate. "It's somebody". The box rattles. Robert opens it up to find... a mime. Okay, for those playing along at home, this is where you turn off the telly and head to JumptheShark.com. "My gut reaction was to put the lid back on the box and send the mime back to where it came from," Alison quipped. He comes with a note: "Better play nice because I'm your ticket to tonight's luxury competition." It also says "Do not expose to sunlight, do not get wet, and for the love of God, do not feed after midnight."

So the hamsters play nice with the mime (or at least mime it) for a good long while. Then the claws came off. And the mask came on. And Ali was scared. And it was good. Then Robert gets all pissy about it ("The day I had to spend with the mime was the worst day in the Big Brother house EVER."). Alison... would rather have Dana.

After a whle, the mime started to make sense, as he taunted the houseguests to follow with a key. Mr. Mime opened the desert room, which is now made to look like a cinema. Today's luxury: a screening of the latest John Grisham book to be turned into a movie, "Runaway Jury" before it premieres. But only two will win. We kill time by watching... the trailer (BTW the movie opens October 17). BTW Big Brother flashes a message for us, saying that the winner and a guest will walk the red carpet at the premiere.

But what's even better than that is this: to win, you have to whack the mime three times with colored Velcro balls. Ali is first, but Robert has the balls and the aim for the win. Robert chooses Ali as his date. But all in all, we learned one thing: truly, a mime is a terrible thing to waste. (BOOOO!) I'm working from nothing here.

After pimping more of "Runaway Jury", Jun still had to deal with ... the MIME. Jun is stuck learning how to be silently annoying without the use of stalking. The movie's over, and so is Mime Time.

Back to the game, as Ali spoils the movie for her, then spoils a good night's sleep for all of LA: "I HATE THAT MIME! I HATE THAT MIME! I HATE THAT MIME!"

More groovin' to the theme music as we see America's Choice as to who would America like to have an internet chat with. They are then treated to plaques featuring fansites, and apparently Ali's has a topless pic on it. Not really sure about that, though. Time to find out what America's Choice is... Not Jun... Not Alison. America really loves Robert. WE find out that he's looking forward to stage two against Jun, that he has overcome a drinking problem, and that he picks his nose out of nerves.

And of course, it wouldn't be Big Brother unless Ali and Jun were up to something. Ali and Jun are once again celebrating their own largeness within the house, especially given Robert's ... words. "Jun's getting on my nerves. She's getting cocky," Ali says as she's discussing game plans with Robert. "I don't believe what Ali is saying, but I'm just going to wait and see. I'm going to send both of them."

Final challenge of today's show is part two of the HoH. Ali can't watch the challenge. Each player has five X's with match-up questions. They have to match up the faces with the questions in such a way that all 20 are correct. First one to do so takes on Ali for the final stage tomorrow. Jun starts from the bottom and works her way to the ones that she doesn't know. For the first time, Ali was worried about the outcome. Robert, even more so, because he misread the question, opening the backdoor for Jun to take the game. "I wasn't surprised that Jun won, because Robert ... just sucks," Ali saw.

So tomorrow, Jun and Ali will take on each other for an automatic berth in the final two. Who will win and who will she evict? Find out tomorrow.

9/17/03
(Gordon Pepper)

Who will win the evict? Who cares? We all know that Robert, who needed to win HOH, is toast - and who may as well play the role of the mime this episode. Sure, Robert will try to get the women upset at each other - but they are not stupid - and they know that neither of them stand a chance against Robert.

Julie fils us in over the past week - and then Julie recaps Robert futilely trying to convince the women to take him. Allison tells him that she is 99% sure that she would take him to the finals (ha ha ha), while Jun is talking about the rules of the game - how to lie and be a strong (but not too strong) competitor. Meanwhile, Allison takes the manipulating route to get there - but I think that Jun will be much more respected than Allison. Robert says that he talks to and listens to people well.

Robert plays his card - and it's a nasty one. Robert tells Allison that if she doesn't take him, he will convince the jury to vote Jun the winner. 'If she doesn't take me, she's going to win second, automatically.' he does the same to Jun about Allison - and it's a pretty powerful card to play. That is the only monkey wrench that he can play - and the women know that he can indeed do that/. Will it be enough?

Julie asks Allison if she would prefer 75 more days in the house or 1 day alone with the mome - and she says the 75 more days =). Jun says that she hopes that her parents think that she id doing good, and Robert says that he got America's Choice because he's being real, while jabbing at both Jun and Allison.

Before we get to the Head of Household final competition, we get a montage on how the stress has been affecting the people in the house. Jun has been gaining more weight, Allison's skin is breaking out, and Robert...well, he's always stressed out and missing his daughter. Allison is also afraid of facing Donny - and she thinks that Donny may have moved on. Jun's response? 'That would not surprise me.' Thanks, Jun - and menwhile, she's worried about her own man (Bob).

We also get a glimpse from their parents on why they are still in the house. They all credit the Ex-Factor, with somepeople being nicer than others, like Rob's dad. 'He is the bset bulsh$tter - that's why he's still in the house.' I guess he would know, wouldn't he?

After we hear all of the parents, we hear the final words for the Household Challenge. We play 'Ex-Match', where Jun and Allison will try to answer what they think their exes think of them. (Ex. Did the exe's think that you are still attractive?). Whoever gets the most amount of points after 8 questions becomes the final HOH.

There is a reason why they are exes - after 4 questions, each of them have a whopping 1 question right. After another 4 questions, the women are still tied, so we get to the tiebreaker question - 'How many days will your ex say that they have had a relationship with you.' Tie breaker - how many days have they been togethre Allison says 0. Wha? Jun says 1 million! Whaaaa??? Justin says 210, and Jee says 1,700, so Allison wins, by around 998,090 days.

We will see who Allison picks...after we we take a look at the jurors. Dana and Justin are hanging out and falling in...lust? Nathan wants a woman - but it's Erika that shows up. 'I was hoping to see (Jack) with a lot more money.' Jack is happy to see her, while she says 'Someone take out the knife out of my back.' Nathan offers to do that - and offers Erika his bed. Nathan then does the gentlemanly thing, and tells America, 'Erika does sleep in the nude - I want everyone to know that.'

The jurors talk about that it's time for them to have a say. Meanwhile, Allison, in her interview with Julie, will be having a say of her own in terms of who will win the game. Allison believes that Jun threw the competition - and her mind is made up. The smart choice for Allison...well, there really is no smart choice, because I think she's going to get dusted by either Jun or Robert. But if there was a smart move, she would pick Robert to go bye-bye.

It's time for Allison to make her decision - after the silly one last chance to plead their case. Robert trusts Allison to make the right decision, while Jun says that Allison should make the right decision as a player. Allison has said that she has played strategically - and she calls Robert on his threat. For that - and because he's a strong player - and he has the votes - that she has to evict him. Robert knew it was coming, and he praises them on their play. We get love all around as he leaves - and then the women celebrate and chew Rob out for his power play.

Rob goes to meet Julie - and he says that he tried everything - but it wasn't enough. He praises the wome for their great play again - and he gets the clips of the women praising him as well. Julie introduces him to the most important woman of his life - his daughter. They hug, which gets my usual response - AwwwwwwBarf.

We are down to Allison and Jun - and we are down to 2 episodes left. We get a meaningless one on Friday, and then the big one on Wednesday. See you in 2 days for the unimportant evening.

9/24/03
(Gordon Pepper)

This is it - the last episode, which should consist of 15 minutes of meaningful stuff and 45 minutes of worthless fluff. Then again, I would say 60% of this show has been about worthless fluff, so what's another 45 minutes worth between friends?

As you must know by now, either Jun or Allison is leaving with $500,000. Determining who walks away with it will be Dana, Nathan, Jack, Erika, Jee, Justin and Robert. But we see Michelle, Amanda and Dave once again (no mention of Mr Genita...I mean Scott).

But we don't start with them - we start with Allison and Jun, the self proclaimed 'Evil Bitches'. 'Evil Bitches win' says Allison, as we see them celebrating and them bashing everyone in the jury. They add that they have to be fake towards them, and you can already tell that unlike the previous Big Brothers, there will not be many barbecue reunions with this group.

Next we go to the jury, who, in the words of Justin, 'I would rather vote for the turtles, then either of them.' Do they vote for Allison, who lied and backstabbed in front of them? Or do they vote for Jun, who in the words of Erika, 'let Allison do the dirty work for her'? Neither of them deserve to win, according to the jury, and in the words of Dana, 'I'm having to choose between the lesser of the 2 evils.'

Like Survivor, the jury can ask Allison and Jun each one last question. Dana asks Allison why she should get Dana's vote - and she said the way that she played the game - she worked hard. Jun is asked if there were any regrets - and Jun says that she regrets getting into fights.

Nathan asked Allison why she didn't tell him of the alliance with Justin - and she said that she thought that the knowledge wouldn't help her. Jun said that she jumped with Dana because she would be unallied.

Justin asked Allison about her dirtiest move - and she said betraying the guys. Jun was asked if cooking n the house was a strategy, and she said yes. Jack wanted to know why Allison lied - and she said that she didn't want to know about her alliance. Jack wondered when Jun broke alliances, and she said that she was concerned that he threw competitions.

Allison was asked by Jee if she was always honorable - and she said not always. Jun was asked what made her more deserving - and she said that she didn't use the powers of persuasion (kissing, going into bed, etc.) and that she was more honorable than Allison. OUCH.

Erika asked why - and she said that she felt like she wasn't getting half of the credit that she deserved. Jun was asked about busting about people - and she said that it was some stress relief. The jury didn't like that answer

Jun was asked about the alliances - and she said that she thought that the alliances that she was in were all short-lived. Allison was asked how long she had the alliance - and she said that when Nathan left.

Final rebuttals - Jun thinks that she was being the most honorable, but Allison thought that she was the best player - and that she won more competitions. After the questions, she was wondering why people got upset at her with the personal attacks. 'I mean, everybody did it.' Allison's response - 'No Jun, not everybody did it.' Jun just realized it - and that could have been her $450,000 blunder. The question is, who made the bigger blunder - Allison sleeping around and using her body or Jun playing below the radar but trashing everyone behind her back.

Back to the jury - and we still hear them bitching and moaning - and we see them vote. 'I know I'm ding it fairly, because I'm voting for the person that I least like - but who played the game the best.' says Rob. Could that be a win for Allison?

After the voting, everyone saw the whole season of Big Brother 4 - and most of them laugh - but Jee curses Jun out. Dana and Justin both curse Allison out - but did they regret their vote?

Speaking of regret - here comes the first 3 people ejected. Michelle bitches everyone out. 'How could you not just give me a little warning...all of you stood there and lied to me face.' Dana goes after Erika and Jack for them bashing her. 'You called me a man-troll' Erika's response? 'I was playing the game.' while Jack apologizes for calling her a man-troll - and the buzzard crotch comment. 'I had buzzards out there who were very attractive.' Jee calls Erika for calling him the immigrant names - and Erika apologizes for that too. 'For the first few weeks in the house, I wasn't being myself...my grandparents were immigrants.'

Then there's that sex issue, which Rob takes credit for suggesting it. Michelle, who was David's ex, was appalled that they did it on national television. 'I can't even trust you anymore - you're not welcome in our house.' Justin goes after Jee for his alliance with Jun. Robert was shocked that Allison talked about him 'That stuff is unforgivable.' Yep, no reunion barbecues for these guys.

We are back with Julie, and she has the probing questions. Will there be a relationship between Justin and Dana? They will take it one day at a time. Will Michelle ever speak to David after the show? David says yes, Michelle says 'if he's lucky.' Robert says that he wants to be friends with Erika outside the house - but just friends. Erika agrees, and could we be seeing her and Robert come back? Amanda does not want to come see David, and the feeling is mutual. Will Nathan speak to Allison? he says no, but we'll see. Jee has already forgiven Erika, and Jack says that 'the FBI will never want me back, especially since I was a strawberry.'

We are getting to the end of the game, and it's time to reveal the winner of the show. Everyone comes into the Big Brother house and sees Jun and Allison. It's time to pull out the keys. Dana says that she lost respect for both of them - but they made it to the end - and she voted for Jun. Justin congratulates them both - but what disappointed 'but I'd rather be stabbed in the front, than the back' he votes for Jun. Nathan voted for Allison. Jack voted for Jun. 'You are absolutely the smartest player in the house.' Jun needs one more vote - and she gets it from Jee. The other 2 votes are not necessary - but Erika voted for Jun and Robert voted for Jun. Jun wins by a vote of 6-1, and I have to agree - she played the better game.

Here is a blatant difference of how they played the game. Bob, Jun's boyfriend, is waiting for her, while Allison's mom and dad are waiting for her - but her boyfriend (or should I say, soon to be ex-boyfriend, Donnie) isn't there. None of the other guests congratulate them - and that's the first time that I have ever seen that in a reality show. That alone speaks volumes.

The girls? 'They hate us..I was focussing more on what they were saying than on the votes.' The women thought that the other contestants were jealous that they were in the finals, but honestly, the fact that they played probably the most spiteful game - even worse than NIcole and Dr Will in Big Brother 2 - ever in Big Brother history and got away with it is what led the contestants to give them the cold shoulder. They admit that there will not be friends. She does get a message from Donnie - but it was VERY ambiguous and it seems like Allison will be looking for a new boyfriend. Allison says that she will be in good contact with Jun - and Jun says she would be most likely to stay in contect with Jack - but it's pretty obvious that they won't be seeing much of each other either.

We finish with everyone outside the house, with Julie saying good-bye - and with one occupant left in the house - the mime. The mime eats a sandwich and we fade to black.

My Take? Now THIS is a reality show that is halfway decent. Sure, it's no Survivor, and it does get tedious, but from a rules standpoint, it's solid and even though there are twists in the game, it doesn't screw around with the rules or break them at a producer's whim, like Paradise Hotel. This may be the only show where 2 people who weren't aligned make it to the finals - and that made the show fun - or at least interesting to cover (and not made me full of dread). The EX-Factor was not only a good move, it added a nice layer of strategy in the game that hasn't been in other games. The nastiness was also fun, as I hate to admit - but it made a entertaining to see. This season gets a B from me, and I'd like to see what changes they make in BB5.