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January 8, 2003 January 15, 2003 January 22, 2003 January 22, 2003 February 5, 2003 February 12, 2003 February 19, 2003 February 19, 2003
"So many men, so little time." Trista proclaimed this as her new motto. And
it accurately describes tonight's introduction to The Bachelorette or
"Trista's Revenge."
Before we meet the 25 men vying for her attention, we revisit that painful
moment when Trista is rejected by Alex Michael in the first Bachelor. We're
told so many men wrote and e-mailed that they would gladly marry Trista,
that the idea for this show was born.
Next we are shown old movies and photos of baby Trista, adolescent Trista,
collegiate Trista. Her mom tells us Trista is a determined young woman. Pop
beams about what athlete she was. Then to make sure we know she's not just a
pretty face, we are told she graduated from Indiana University (let's hear it
for my alma mater) and got a master's from a college in Miami. Pan over to
Trista on the job as a pediatric physical therapist and her cute little
patient. This might have been more effective if the next time we see Trista
she's in a skimpy bikini frolicking in the water.
Then she looks into the camera and says "I want to find Mr. Right. . .and
I've dreamt about my wedding day for a very long time. . .I think my Prince
Charming is here. . ."
At this cue, the long stretch black limousine pulls up and Trista steps out
in a long black slinky gown. She is shown her "bachelor pad" for the first
time and she gushes over how beautiful the mansion is.
She sits down by the pool with the host to have a little chat before the
night's proceedings. She tells the host she is over Alex and she's ready to
find a husband.
He asks if she's ready to be the boss. Of course, she is. "Women in society
today have powerful roles." Proposing is a piece of cake compared to what
Condalisa Rice does. But she softens it by saying she is "not normally the
power person in a relationship."
After all this preamble, we get to what we've been waiting for: the men.
Being a woman, I'm enjoying this turnabout. It's a male beauty pageant.
The first to step out of the limousine is Jamie and he's gorgeous. He has a
beautiful smile and blond hair to match Trista's. He towers over her as we
are told he is a basketball player. He gave up a contract to play basketball in Germany just to meet her. Germany?
Next out is cute and scruffy Rob, a computer programmer from Dallas. He
confesses he's been waiting three months just to meet her.
Chris is next. He's tall, dark and handsome. And too stiff. He thinks people
are jealous of him and his success. (Get over yourself. You're not all
that.) He says when push comes to shove, he will push.
Then there's Jack, the only African-American and the first firefighter. He
has a beautiful smile and a great body. In this crowd, he can't help but
stand out.
The first of the four Brians is the next bachelor and he is hot. Tall and
blonde, I think he is the best looking of the bunch.
Eric is next. He is a pilot with the "attention span of a flash bulb when
it comes to dating." There's something lacking in his eyes. Maybe he's
trying too hard to be cool.
Greg T is an importer from New York. I don't know why he makes me think of
someone from the Sopranos. He keeps talking about "family.". I'm not
impressed.
Matt, a gym owner, is the oldest of the bunch. At 42, I wonder why he is on
this show.
Ryan is next. He's cute and boyish. Even though he's a firefighter, he has
the soft, sensitive eyes of a romantic.
Brook, the rodeo cowboy, says something about "roping a girl is more
dangerous than roping a steer." Yes, he did say that.
Peter, the construction business owner from New York is tall, dark and
handsome. He is so cocky predicting he will be the one standing next to
Trista at the end of the show. Yeah, right.
Trista hits on the next Brian, Brian H. Probably because he has this sweet,
shy smile.
Russ, the writer, was my pick when I read his specs online. He is cute and
he is smart. He is the only one to bring a gift. Trista is impressed. "Wow."
Paul is cute. He's from Hawaii. He looks like a surfer dude. His hair is
very long. And he doesn't fit Trista's style.
Brian K. is next. That he is a breast implant salesman says something. That
he compares Trista to a car says even more and none of it very good.
Bob is another mortgage broker. He is tall and jovial and the most normal
looking guy there.
Billy looks like a cute little boy even though he is 28 and a firefighter.
He looks too young for Trista.
Duane, the flight instructor, looks smarmy. He says it will be weird having
a woman calling the shots. A closet male chauvinist?
Greg H. seems like a stalker to me.
Brian C. is cute enough but looks a little desperate.
Jeff looks like the professional football player that he is.
Josh is a radio executive producer. He look like he's used to giving orders.
He also looks mean to me.
After all the men, they're all starting to blend in together. Mike and Wayne
don't really stand out.
But then there's Charlie. Did they plan on saving the best for last or are
we just glad it's finally over. He definitely has an extra punch of sexiness
that the other men did not exude.
Now Trista has to mingle and party with 25 gorgeous men, poor thing. At
first, she is overwhelmed. "Oh my God. I can't believe I'm here." But she is
cool, calm and very poised.
Eric, the pilot, tries to connect with her the homeboy ploy. They're both
from St. Louis. Josh counters that ploy by snatching her away. Josh uses the
"family man" ploy. He even talks about his future wife spitting out children
till they get an equal mix of the genders.
Ryan gives Trista a poem that seems to touch her sentimental spot.
Brian K, the breast implant guy talks to her about his job and "hand-on
experience and before and after photos." Trista just laughs like she really
likes these jokes.
Greg T., the importer, throws in he is a professional singer. Jamie drops
that he is a professional basketball player. Of course, it doesn't hurt that
"he's a looker."
Charlie decides enough of this group dating. It's time for a little
aggressiveness, a little face time. He steals her away from the group amid
stares of disbelief and dislike. It doesn't matter. Trista already has her
eyes on Charlie. She admits he's got the look and he's the one she's most
sexually attracted to.
Sweet sensitive Rob gets his time alone with her too. He makes a good
impression with his sincerity.
During Russ' alone time, Trista opens his present which is a bracelet. All
of a sudden, the testosterone level goes up several notches. The men feel
genuinely threatened. Mostly, they wish they had thought of it.
The highlight of the evening was Bob doing his version of the Lord of the
Dance with a little Running Man thrown in for good measure.
Finally the moment of truth has arrived. Trista must pick 15 men to stay.
She gives the lucky men a rose boutonniere. She already let on to the host
that Charlie, Russell, Ryan and Jamie are her favorites. She believes her
future husband is in that room.
It is my suspicion that in all these types of dating shows, the person
already has an idea of who will be there final pick. They just select the
other people because it's part of the contract. That said, Trista picked the
following men in this order: Russell, Greg T., Ryan, Brian C., Brook,
Michael, Brian S., Jack, Charlie, Josh, Brian H., Jamie, Rob, Jeff, and Bob.
Trista tears up after the process because she hated hurting the feelings of
those who were not picked. Greg looked he was going to cry too for not
getting picked. He put his business on hold for this, darn it.
And then it was over with a toast. We were shown previews of future shows
with hints of who were not going to make it to the final four. I'm picking
Russ, Charlie, and Jamie to make it to the final three.
It's the second airing of Bachelorette and we're settling in. I'm talking
about us, the audience, because the 15 men who are left are hyped.
First, we have to be reminded of the front-runners - over-confident Russell
the writer that gave Trista a bracelet; hilarious, jovial Bob who kiddingly
wants to clip Russell at the knees; scruffy, sensitive Rob who fell in love
with Trista from the first Bachelor show. And then we see the hurt, angry
faces of the losers from the last show. That leaves us with the other guys
left standing: Josh, Ryan, Jeff, Brian S., Brian H., Jack, Michael, Brook,
Jeff, Greg, Jamie, and Brian C. A bunch of names, a footlocker full of
pretty faces. Now it's time to separate the men from --well--the other men.
This episode begins at the "Guys' House." No pretty floral arrangements
here. No pillows on the couches. No candles placed strategically around the
room. This is a real man's house with a pool table featured prominently. The
bachelors come out in their T-shirts and jeans to find out what the deal is
for this next stage of the game.
The host tells them first, they can't communicate with Trista except on
their dates, their group dates. Five men and just little ole Trista. Can you
smell the testosterone cooking?
They are invited to each of the three group dates via a video of Trista. The
first men to be singled out are Brian S., Russell, Josh, Brook and Rob.
Trista wants to see "who's a high roller and who's just bluffing" in this
lot. So, of course, that means they're going to Vegas.
Poor Rob. He complains that dating Trista with all this competition is not
going to be fun. Brook mentions that if there is such a thing as love at
first sight, Rob's got it. So what do the other men have for Trista? Ah yes,
Lust at first sight. And we're shown several shots of Trista's cleavage or
various stages of undress to make sure we don't forget it.
Of course, I wouldn't mind a few gratuitous pecs and abs too. Out of 15 men,
somebody should be taking off their shirts. But I digress.
They're off to Vegas in high rolling style. They pull up to a charter jet in
a limousine to fly to Sin City. It's Trista's version of Ocean 11--or Trista
5. They're drinking, they're at the roulette wheel, they're drinking,
they're at the black jack table (I think), they're drinking. It's Vegas,
baby. The only game Rob sees is musical chairs with Russell always winning
the chair next to Trista.
Brian S. complains, too, about Russell's smothering ways. Russell doesn't
care. He is going to make sure Trista knows he's the one even if he has to
tell her over and over again.
They exit the casino and go upstairs to the Ghost Bar to dance and drink
some more. Russell makes his move. He pulls her away from the other guys.
Even Trista admits there are sparks between them.
Russell is selling himself. If she starts a sentence, he can finish it for
her and does. In fact, he doesn't seem to let her talk at all. Trista has to
kiss him to shut him up. Now, why did she do that? That just encouraged him
to keep on talking and touching so she would kiss him again. He goes in for
the kill and we have major spit swapping. And yes, there are tongues
involved.
They get so carried away that they forget about the rest of their group.
They go down to the room for some real alone time leaving the other four
hapless guys to wonder what happened. "We feel like we got the shaft," is
the way Brian S. puts it.
Russ doesn't care. He says he will be the last one standing. Careful, Russ.
The last guy we heard say this was on the plane back home before you could
say "conceited male ego." I think Russ is a red herring anyway. He was my
first choice but we all know that they make us look at the wrong guy to keep
up the suspense. Besides, if he keeps ending Trista's sentences, she's going
to reshuffle him back into the pack.
Back at the guy's house, they're sitting back, relaxing, and shooting pool.
There's a knock at the door. Ryan answers it. There's only the lone video
invitation on the steps. When they turn it on, it's Trista calling out the
names "Bob, Jamie, Jack, Ryan and Brian C." They're going to a spa. But not
a "girlie spa" she assures them. It's a "manly man fun pool party" type of
spa.
Back in Vegas, Russell is still alone with Trista. He is still selling
himself and getting kissed for his efforts. The other men finally decide to
break up the Russell monopoly and bust in on the two. Trista and Russell
both act guilty. Rob is so offended. The worst thing he can think of is to
say what Russell did was "chiseling." He says he would never do anything
like that. The girl has to come to him. And he says it in that shy sensitive
way that we forget how conceited that statement really is.
He immediately contradicts himself by taking Trisha aside to tell her that he's not pushy.
He's a one on one type guy. He reminds me of Brendan Frasier in "Bedazzled."
You know, the one where he was so sensitive that he cried at the sunsets
while the girl ran off with the tough guys. He also reminds me of Scooby
Doo's Shaggy.
Back at the guy's house, they are also consuming alcohol. They think Jack is
the most over served probably because he is the only who passed out. They
decide to pull a prank on the unconscious bachelor. They take him out, bed,
empty bottles and all, and leave him on the lawn so Trisha will know what a
lush he is.
On to the next date. This time Trisha pulls up in a big, lo rock star bus.
Bob says to the camera he won't bring up Jack's behavior of the other night
and then proceeds in real time to tell Trisha about it. All the other guys
are bragging about the prank they pulled on him trying to make Jack look
bad. Jack just smiles. He can't defend himself because he probably doesn't
remember a thing.
Bob points out that he is the only man that looks normal among the muscles
and the super model looks. He thinks they are exploiting him so that they
look better. Little did they know that this appeals to Trisha more than
muscles.
Trista takes Ryan aside from the group. He is the polar opposite of Bob, Bob
notes. Trista and Ryan have a serious conversation about marriage and life.
It becomes apparent that he is also the opposite of Russell because he lets
Trista talk. He listens. That's always a good thing with women. When they go
outside to rejoin the group, they run into three wedding couples. Trista
wonders if this is a sign that Ryan is the one.
The last video arrives. It's Trista in a football jersey and little else.
They pan provocatively up from her stilettos to her face. She's inviting
them to a football game. Every man's dream, Jeff chimes in. "Football game
with a hot chick."
Back at the spa, they decide one of the four will get to be alone with
Trista while getting a professional massage. They do it the democratic way
with rock, paper, scissors. Jamie wins. All that naked Trisha flesh unnerves
Jamie and he has a problem communicating with words. Trista notices. She
also reassess her feelings for Russ. Now she thinks it was superficial.
It's time for the last date. This is the most masculine one of all. They're
on the bus going to a football game. Charlie notes to the camera in a
Freudian slip that when "Trisha shuts up, the energy level spikes." I know
Charlie is the front-runner for many people but I think he even worse than
Russell. He just hides his agenda better.
On the way to the game, the bus has a flat. Most of the men sit or stand
around doing nothing. They're not going to get their hands dirty changing a
tire. Jeff charges in like a super hero. He strips his shirt off and gets to
work on the flat. Because that's the kind of guy he is.
They're at the game and they're having a great time. They're in the box
section like big shots. Greg takes this opportunity to remind Trista that he
is a singer. I heard him sing. Keep your day job, Greg. What is your day
job? An importer? Oh well, Trista is impressed.
I think the guys really enjoyed this date more because of the male
camaraderie and football game - and they may have enjoyed the game more than they enjoyed Trista.
After it's over, Trista lets Charlie know she is definitely keeping him
around for the next stage.
And then it's the night of the rose ceremony--the most shocking one ever (we
are promised). Trista sees potential in more than one man. She takes Russell
aside and tells him to back off. She wants him to know that what happened
had more to do with alcohol than with any real feelings. Russell is finally
silenced.
Jeff uses his time alone with her bring up the age difference and ask her if
that's a problem. She assures him he is the perfect guy. Uh, oh. That's a
bad sign, Jeff. That's usually a kiss off statement.
Trista then tries to pull more out of Brian H. but he refuses to cooperate.
"What you see, is what you get." He doesn't feel any chemistry with her.
Brook tells the guys that he knows "it's happy trails" for him - and then he
tells Trisha that she is shallow just because she's dumping him because he
has horses. We find out Trista is allergic to animals. What's a cowboy to
do? Give up his five horses for a chance with Trista? He was right on the
money though. There was no chemistry between them and he gave out such a
negative vibe. Horses was just her excuse and it was pretty lame.
It's finally rose ceremony time. Reality is hitting Trista and
Brook's comments that she is shallow isn't helping. She starts to cry
again. Trista is left alone with the video pleas of all of the bachelors. Brook
says he'll give up his horses, move to the city and stay away from horse
manure. So I guess he's not going to get a rose because there's a whole lot
of horse manure at the guys' house.
Bob thanks her for his rose in advance. Most of the men blend in again.
Russell sounds a little insecure for the first time hinting he may not get a
rose so he'll use his rose from last time to blend in. Ryan recites a corny
but romantic poem that makes Trista go "Oh."
Trista has decided - but not before Brian S. steps up and says no disrespect,
but I'm outta here. You weren't going to choose me anyway. Well he didn't
say that but he thought it.
That leaves Trista with 14 men to choose from. And she picks Charlie, Bob,
Ryan, Mike, Greg, Rob, Jamie and Russell. I think she picked Charlie first
because he is the only one she promised. And I think she picked Russell last to
send him a message that his game isn't all that tight.
She made one more attempt to let Brook know she is sincere but who cares.
She shouldn't. She has eight gorgeous men left and just one of the might be
the right one. Right now, I'm leaning toward Ryan, the sensitive
firefighter.
Enjoy your time as queen bee, Trista. Next week we get three more women in
the house. Two are friends of Trista and one is Shannon from the first
Bachelor. It should be interesting.
Here we go again.
And then there were eight. After a quick recap of previous events, we are
introduced to three of Trista's girlfriends: Missy, Sarah and Shannon. We're
told that Missy has been Trista's friend since '95, Sarah since middle high
school and Shannon since the first Bachelor. Yes, she's that Shannon.
The women are moving into the guys' house. They're going to help Trista
decide who to keep and who to cut loose. This will be done through
individual interviews with the men. They're hoping to flush out the
pertinent information link: what the men are like when they first wake up,
how their last relationship ended and the most important question - what's
their shoe size.
The men are introduced to the three women and are told how important it is that
they schmooze them. These three women hold the fate of three men and their
respective individual dates. Mike immediately recognizes Shannon and admits
he has a tiny crush on her from the television show. He is the first to be
interviewed by the ladies. We are shown a montage of all the men's answers.
"When it comes to sex," the ladies ask, "would you consider yourself a
giver, a taker, a pleaser or a teaser?"
In successive order the men answer.
Mike, the bland: "a giver."
Rob, the too too sensitive: "a giver."
Greg, the smoothie: "a pleaser."
Ryan, the sweetheart: "giver, taker and pleaser."
Next question. "What do you value most in a relationship?"
Jamie gives the answer he thinks they want to hear. "Commitment." He wants
to be just like dear old dad.
They're asked how they would make their special date romantic.
Charlie: "just talk to her." Way to go, Charlie. How romantic is that? But
of course, Charlie is so confident he thinks that all he has to do is talk
to make Trista his.
Ryan: "Calming, peaceful, mood, candlelight, and a view." Okay, that's a
little too trite, Ryan.
Greg: He shamelessly plugs that he is a songwriter again and that he would sing
a song for Trista. Obviously, he hasn't sung for her yet. Smart move, Greg.
To rephrase my favorite axiom: it is better to be thought of as a singer,
than to open your mouth and prove you're not.
Bob just wants to dance with her. There's not enough dancing. I guess he
wants to do his "running man" again.
Finally, the really important question is asked. "What size shoe do you
wear?"
Jamie, of course, understands how important this question is and answers
facetiously "22." Just kidding, but he still wears an impressive size 12.
But then what basketball player doesn't have big feet.
Rob? the pitiful: "10"
Mike, the eager: "10 1/2 or 11"
Bob: "12 1/2." Even if that isn't his real size, that's his answer and he's
sticking with it.
The three women gush over the men amongst themselves. They have picked their
favorites. Since there is no pressure on them, they can afford to be
generous or not. Missy favors Jamie. She's shocked that Trista doesn't find
him as attractive as she does. She doesn't know that Jamie tries too hard
when he's around Trista and comes off like a cardboard version.
They all agree that they don't understand Trista's reaction to Russ. Trista
built him up so much to them so that when they met him they were very
unimpressed. Russ rations his charm for people that count so he hasn't
turned it on for the three ladies - or his roommates, for that matter.
The three wouldn't mind undressing Ryan. They're sure there's a banging
body underneath the T-shirt since he's a fireman. Missy is especially
enamored of him. She thinks he's that rare individual that is romantic and
down-to-earth, a very hard combination to pull off.
Shannon wants Charlie--for Trista, of course. "He's big. He's hot. Drop-dead
gorgeous and has everything else." In her usual Shannon fashion, she says
that these are all great guys but half of them aren't right for Trista. How
lucky, since Trista has to eliminate half of them by the end of the show.
The first date invitation tape arrives and it's for Russ. I'm sort of
surprised given that the girls all seemed so unimpressed by him. Maybe they
thing that if Trista goes on a date with him she will see how little he has
to offer her. The men all roll their eyes in disgust. They don't get Russ
either.
Mainly, Trista wants to see if Russ heard her when she told him to take it
down a couple of levels. And to reinforce that, she tells him again through
dinner how she doesn't like her men to be too aggressive. But first they
take a ride on a hot-air balloon. Okay, was that supposed to be a dig at
Russ? It was beautiful though. They were in heaven, riding above a bed of
clouds while the sun is setting in the distance.
Back at the house, the men are talking about Russ behind his back. He's got
to be their least favorite competitor. Basically, they're saying that if you
look up chiseler in the dictionary you will find Russ' picture.
Back on the date, Trista and Russ are having an argument about who kissed
who first. Trista has forgotten she made the first move just to shut Russ
up. So Russ returns the favor this time by kissing her to shut her up. It
must have worked because the date ends up with Trista napping in Russ' lap
in the limousine.
It's the next day. Shannon and Ryan are bonding over the dog. Jamie is
giving the women his resume: Pro basketball player, author, and he's going
to help inner city kids. It still sounds like he is telling them what he
thinks they want to hear. All the men are finally cleaning up to show off
the domestic side.
The second date invitation goes to Charlie. In the video it's Trista in a
bikini teasing all of the men. Their date will be a drenching in a water park
and then the royal treatment in the p.m. Trista reminds the audience that
Charlie was The One that knocked her socks off from the very beginning. To
me, Charlie looks like a movie star - a young Tim Robbins. He doesn't have as
nice a body as Jamie, who always seem to be in a state of half dress. In
the stretch limousine, Trista and Charlie bond over shared experiences of
bad experiences and being cheated on.
For the second part of their date, Trista gets the star treatment. I have
never played "Dream Date" but this sounds like something from the game.
First Trista gets her hair done by Jose Eber, a celebrity hairstylist. She
meets designer Shoshanna Lonstein who has created a dress especially for
Trista. It's a beautiful red strapless gown that prompts Charlie to get down
on knee prematurely.
Our voyeurism is interrupted by a shot of Ryan getting the last invitation
for the one-on-one date. The other men look crestfallen.
Back to the dream date, Charlie comes out looking very tall and dapper. He
is told that his part of the fantasy date is to drive a sleek, silver Aston
Martin. I was hoping Jose Eber was going to get a hold of his hair. Darn.
Charlie is making major points with Trista by holding her hand and gazing
lovingly into her eyes. He makes only one misstep. He lets slip his control
issue when he tells Trista she better not get intimate with any of the other
guys. Trista tells the camera that a girl has to do what a girl has to make
this decision. So there, Charlie.
After the date, Charlie and Trista recap the night to the men and women
respectively. Charlie goes on and on about the cars, the expensive wine, the
expensive restaurant. Mike catches that Charlie doesn't say a word about
Trista. Maybe it's because Charlie wants to keep those details private.
Maybe it's because Charlie wants to flaunt his date to the other guys. Maybe
he wants to spare their feelings about his kissing Trista. They all guess he
did anyway.
Trista tells her friends that the date was wonderful. The conversation was
"flowing." He is financially secure. And the kiss was perfect. Notice how
she didn't forget that Charlie has money. A girl may want romance but she
also wants security.
It's the day of Trista and Ryan's date. I think Ryan got gypped. Their date
is at Sea World. They're going to hug and smooch dolphins during the first
part of the date. At dinner, Ryan reads another original poem and brings
tears to Trista's eyes, the good kind. She says Ryan makes her heart go
pitter patter.
After the date, the guys quiz Ryan about it and he is very closed-mouth.
Charlie completely dismisses Ryan on camera. He calls him a wallflower. He
doesn't even stay to hear the details of the date. He isn't concerned about
Ryan. He doesn't think he is in the same league with himself. He hints that
Ryan isn't that intelligent or well-rounded. He feels if Trista ends up
falling for Ryan then he doesn't want her. Well, you wouldn't have her
anyway, would you Charlie?
The last date is the group date. It's takes place at the racetracks and the
beach. It sounds like a bad beach movie or a scene from Grease. The guys are
going to race against each other in mini-race cars while Trista plays flag
lady. The men bemoan the fact that they're on a group date. Mike and Bob
don't think they can show their stuff on a group date.
At the beach, they have a clambake while the men plead their case. Bob takes
Trista aside to show her he is more than just another funny guy.
Unfortunately, I think Bob is put in the "friend" category, not the romantic
date category. And he makes a fatal mistake when he tells Trista he never
thought about moving from Michigan. Trista is an L.A. girl now.
Greg uses his time alone to remind Trista that he is a songwriter. And
Trista falls for it again. Or is it his amazing eyes?
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. He keeps dropping the proverbial ball. First, he says
he'll win the car race to win Trista's heart. He lost. Then he says if he
kisses Trista he's sure he can make a connection off the sparks. He is
sparkless. He looks good to Trista on paper but in real life, he comes off
lifeless.
As the night ends, Sarah tells Trista to focus on character as she tries to
pick the four guys that will go on to the next level. The girls say their
good byes because they won't be there for the rose ceremony.
Then its the night of the rose ceremony. Trista tries to spend time alone
with each man so that she can figure out who to give two of the roses to.
She is sure about two of them. I'm sure one is Charlie. I think the other is
Ryan. That means Russ is losing his shine.
Russ looks into her eyes and tells her everything is perfect. When Trista
looks away, it doesn't seem she shares his assessment.
Bob stepped up a bit too late. He tells her not to focus on geography. I
think he was having such a good time that he forgot he was suppose to be
romancing Trista.
Ryan tells Trista that he's not going to read her a poem this time. This way
he'll know it's him and not the poetry that is getting to Trista if he gets
a rose.
Charlie decides to act like a chiseler and take Trista away from the group.
Trista is talking more and more about the connection between the two of them
and it seems like he is the favorite.
At the beginning of the rose ceremony, Trista gives the traditional kiss off
speech. Then she picks Charlie, Russ, Ryan and Greg. The first three were a
given. I know I thought Jamie was going to be in the final four and I never
gave Ryan a chance but I've changed my mind. Trista seems to be drawn to
confident, self-assured men who are romantic. Charlie, Ryan and Greg fit
that bill. Russ is more complicated. I haven't given up on him yet. It
doesn't help, though, that I can never figure out half of what he's saying.
But he's a writer. We do better with a script.
As the losers leave, Rob takes time to dis Russ once last time. Trista tells
Bob that if she had five roses she would have picked him. But she didn't and
she didn't.
Next week we get to see each guy in their home setting and Trista gets to
break another guy's heart.
Tonight's episode is the Bachelorette's version of Meet the Parents. Of
course, this is a kinder, gentler version with no embarrassing disclosures
from ex-girlfriends or a brutal lie detector test.
There are only four men left: Ryan, Charlie, Russ and Greg. The men have to
leave the Guy's House and journey back to their hometowns in order to
prepare a suitable date for Trista. They may be also be possibly coaching
their family in what or what not to say. This is their opportunity to
impress Trista in their own environment.
The host also gives them a heads up. The rose ceremony will coincide with
Trista's 30th birthday. "So don't be stupid. Show up with something."
As the men get their gear together to leave, they impart some thoughts about
this next stage. Charlie is all about Charlie. He talks about how this next
stage is going to solidify how Trista feels about him. He seems to have
discounted the other three men. Greg is just happy to still be in the
running. He is as surprised as I am that he made it this far. Russ is still
talking confident but I'm beginning to wonder if it is all a bluff. Ryan
just wants to be the last man standing.
Not one of them talks about any emotions they have invested. Instead, it
sounds more like they're involved in a sports event. I guess it's just a
guy thing. On the other hand, Trista confesses she may be in love with more
than one person. She never believed it could happen but now it's happened to
her.
The first stop is Vail, Colorado, Ryan's stomping ground. It suits him: the
pristine view of the mountains, the slow pace of the city. It all showcases
Ryan perfectly. "The mountains are a big part of who I am."
Ryan shows off Trista to his fellow firemen. They are appropriately awed.
"She's a hottie," one of them gushes. "Way outta my league."
Trista passes Ryan's pole test--as in sliding down the fire station pole.
"If they're not willing to slide down the pole" the girls might not get
another date.
Since the fire station is Ryan's second home, Trista spends some time
getting to know the firemen. The captain is up front with Trista. He doesn't
want to lose Ryan to the big city and the big city girl. Ryan is concerned
about leaving Vail also. He tells the camera that his job is a big part of
who he is and he doesn't want to give that up.
Back at the station, the guys get Ryan alone and ask him more personal
questions. He is much more at ease around his friends. More importantly, we
get to see that his sincerity is the genuine article. He tells his friends
that he cares about Trista and would like to end up with her but he's glad
she will end up with someone she loves. Awwww.
Trista and Ryan leave the station and head up to a secluded spot on the
mountain aptly called "wedding deck." Hint. Hint. It's so, so romantic.
There's just the two of them, the mountains, two glasses of wine, and the
cameramen. Ryan finally makes his move and they share passionate kisses.
Ryan takes Trista to meet his parents. Trista is a little upset about her
outfit. It seems she left the one she wanted to wear behind. Ryan assures
her that she looks great. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if his mother
was wearing the same thing.
And would you believe it, she was. That put Trista immediately at ease.
It's just Trista's mom and pop. They ask very good questions of this
prospective daughter-in-law.
Mom: And how did you single out my baby from the herd?
Ryan: It was the poetry, Mom.
Trista: Naw, just look at him. He's a hunka hunka.
Mom: Why did you think you could go on TV and find a husband?
Trista: Why not? You only live once.
Mom: And why did you this thing, Ryan?
Ryan: I don't know but I'm winning.
His mom was surprised that Ryan was actually falling for Trista. Her
maternal protective instinct was showing a bit. She echoed the captain's
views. She didn't want Ryan going off to L.A. Trista should be the one to
move.
It's also becoming clear to Ryan that he might have to make that choice and
it sounded like he was unwilling to move. In fact, he intimated that maybe
Trista needed to make the sacrifice, not him.
Ryan goes to his dad to get his opinion and advice. He isn't any help. Pop
knows that fatherly advice on love is usually ignored.
The day ends with Trista and Ryan snuggling and kissing like an old couple.
But Ryan realizes that she is leaving him to go out with three more guys. He
knows she will be kissing and snuggling with them too. That's a difficult
thing for a man or a woman to deal with.
It's Greg's turn now. Greg lives in New York. He pulls up on a motorcycle
looking very sexy and bad boy. They bike to their date in Central Park. He
serves her hot cocoa in wine glasses and talks about marriage proposals.
It is becoming apparent that Trista picked Greg simply for his looks. He is
eye candy. She keeps raving about his eye and how romantic he is.
The family date is in a restaurant. It's a family style restaurant so I
guess they thought it was a better setting than in a home or maybe a more
posh restaurant. You think? Trista meets Greg's mom, Greg's mom's boyfriend
and Greg's sister. Greg's father died 10 years earlier but his mom brings
pictures of him and Greg to show Trista. Greg's sister has a harder edge
than Greg and seems like a typical New Yorker. She asks the same question as
Ryan's mom.
"What made Greg stand out?"
Trista answers very diplomatically that there was a connection and she's
looking for a best friend.
Greg's sister translates this very well. She tells the camera she doesn't
see her brother and Trista walking down the aisle. His mother can translate
Trista-speak too. She also doesn't see them getting married. Maybe they
should have clued Greg in.
Greg takes Trista to his apartment. He would have done better taking her
back to Central Park or staying in the limousine. He would have made a
better impression. And he knows this. He hems and haws in the limousine
about his apartment. He is noticeably uncomfortable. He makes excuses about
it saying someone else has been living there so it's a mess. Yeah, right.
He escorts Trista into his small bachelor pad, with emphasis on small. It
looks like a typical bachelor's apartment of someone just out of college. It
does not look like a place of someone ready to settle down or someone who
could afford to settle down. And it's not even aesthetic. Since Greg is
supposed to be this creative songwriter, you would expect something artsy
going on in the studio apartment. No such luck.
Trista tries hard not to be superficial and not judge Greg by his apartment,
but she can't help herself. Trista is adding it all up on her cash register
brain: motorcycle (not a car) + cocoa in a wine glass + cheap date in central
park + cheap restaurant + profession as "importer" + crappy apartment. It
all adds up to an embarrassment of no riches.
Greg offers her wine and she turns it down for the first time on the show.
This should have been a sign to him. She is either afraid wine will blur
her vision and she will start seeing the apartment as the Taj Mahal or she's
afraid the wine will be a cheap as the date. She settles for water. Greg
rummages around in the cabinet in a strange manner. Trista thinks there's a
mouse in the cabinet. Greg's just looking for a clean glass.
He tries to recoup the date with a song on the guitar. The songs isn't that
bad and Trista rewards him with a few kisses. Or was she just trying to get
the taste of the date out of her mouth. She even says she can see Greg and
her having a real relationship. Translation: "This is a little too real for
me."
So by her next date, she is still feeling mentally and physically exhausted.
She meets Russ in San Francisco. She uses her exhaustion as an excuse for
her further emotional distance from Russ. Russ is oblivious. Or is he? He is
very nervous. He has this huge zit on his face. He's talking a mile a
minute.
Trista picks up on the fact that Russ took a year off from work to write a
book. If there was any doubt that Trista is looking for financial security,
she removes it by saying she wonders how he is supporting himself.
Russ takes Trista to his apartment. He is rambling and talking disjointedly.
Trista tells him to relax (Your apartment is 10 times better than the last
one. I'm even drinking your wine.) But he keeps on talking.
". . .'cause I know who I am. And, it's like, I always wonder, like, if
those people are real. And I'm on it and I know who I am. And I know I am
real . . .and it's getting pretty real." Russ' anxiety is putting her off.
As they leave his home, she looks so tired of reality.
It's a good thing his family is so warm and genuine. They talk a lot too so
Russ finally shuts up. It's a huge family. There's dad, and mom and grandma
and married sister who all eerily look alike, and there's brother-in-law and
unmarried beautiful sister and nieces. Russ must have coached his little
niece because she gives Trista a homemade bracelet just like her uncle
"Punka" did.
His sister is very confident just like Russ. It must run in the family. "I
had no doubt that when my brother went on the show, Trista would be sitting
here."
Again the question is asked. "Why him?"
Trista says she went with her gut. Hmmmm.
Russ' big family scored major points with Trista who comes from a small
family. And it helped erase some of the negativity she felt earlier.
The last date is in Flagstaff, Arizona to meet Charlie's folks. Again we are
reminded how much she liked him from the very beginning.
Charlie takes her to meet his family right away. There is no separate date.
He is just that confident. She is introduced to his mom who is also a
physical therapist, his father, his sister and brother-in-law and little
nieces.
It is obvious that mom is the boss of this family. Charlie's family is
obviously different from Russ. They are a quieter, more intellectual group.
Charlie wants to know if she is planning to come out of the whole process
with an engagement ring. He even uses the "L" word. If I was a betting
person, I would put my money on Charlie being the last man standing.
Charlie's mom, however, doesn't share the same feeling. She says she can't
imagine that in two weeks Trista would decide she wants to live happily ever
after with her son.
After Trista leaves, Charlie's family dissect Trista. They declare that she
is a high maintenance kind of girl. "Needy," his father calls it. And
there's nothing wrong with that. You just have to be aware that that's the
kind of girl she is. But Trista still gets the seal of approval from
Charlie's mom. His brother-in-law thinks it's because Trista and his mother
sort of parallel each other in profession and attitude. "Except I wasn't a Miami Heat dancer," his mom reminds them.
It's the night of the rose ceremony and it's Trista's birthday. The men will
get one last chance to impress her with a gift. This is especially important
because Trista sees herself marrying more than one of them.
Ryan presents her with his gift first. It is a picture of a white tiger that
he drew himself plus his usual original poem. The picture and the poem are
not exceptional but it is the thought that counts. Trista is impressed
because Ryan remembered that a white tiger was her favorite animal.
Greg's gift is very original. He recites a rap-sody he made up for Trista
and then gives her all the lyrics of the different songs he wrote for her.
Take that, Ryan. You're not the only poet wannabe. Trista is speechless.
That's Trista-speak for "if you can't say something nice, say nothing."
Russ brings her a photo he took of a beautiful sunset outside his home. To
me, this is the best of all the gifts but it's not my show. Charlie gives
her a tiny silver frog with a golden crown. It is to symbolize all the
frogs she had to kiss until she got to him, the frog prince. Of all the
gifts, Charlie's is the least personal and the most expensive.
She listens to their final video pleas. She is trying to make it seem like
she hasn't made up her mind but she already knows "who is going to get his
ego shattered."
She gives roses to Ryan, Charlie and Russ. Sorry Greg. She tells him that he
was trying too hard. In the limousine he looks upset. "If I'm not the guy,
then I'm not the guy. That's it. The fact that I'm not the guy hurts in that
I'll never get another chance to show Trista, you know, who I can be, who I
truly am."
Well, Greg, first I think Trista already knows who you are and she's not
interested in who you can be. She's not looking for a fixer-upper. And
that's what you are.
Second, are you trying to audition to be the next star of the Bachelor? It
seems reminiscent of Trista's parting words on the first show. Sorry, Greg.
I don't think you made the cut, again.
Charlie and Russ have been the front runners from the beginning. Ryan came
on strong in his silent way and overtook Russ in the second stage. It is
obvious that Trista has feeling for both Charlie and Ryan. She is unsure
about Russ but she had to pick three men. Next week she will get a chance to
get intimate with all three. Will she? That's the cliffhanger because we
already know she's going to eliminate Russ. Sorry, Russ.
Only three bachelors remains as it winds down to the inevitable conclusion.
There has been a whole lot of kissing, drinking, dating, and flying across
country to get to this point. Unfortunately, there's not much suspense left,
folks, even though the show's producers are valiantly trying to create some.
After all, these three men are the same men that Trista went on individual
dates with earlier. One of these three she has claimed to have sexual
chemistry with since he walked out of the limousine--Charlie. One of these
men she's been sparring with since the second date--Russ. That leaves
sensitive, romantic fire guy, Ryan, who reads her sappy love poetry that
makes giggle like a teenager.
The guys get one last chance to win a rose from her with an overnight date.
First up is Ryan. Their date takes place in Seattle. Trista is excited to
see him waiting for her on the dock as she flies in on a sea plane. They are
then whisked away in a water taxi to a funky hip-looking houseboat.
Ryan has no plans for this date. He is going to rely on "the natural course
of events to lead" to romance. Don't worry, Ryan. Trista sees the hot tub
and she's ready.
As Trista relaxes in the hot tub, Ryan expresses his insecurities about the
process. He uses the last rose ceremony as an example. He relates how he was
on "cloud nine" after giving Trista his birthday gift until he saw Greg's
big smile. "Then Russ. Then Charlie." And he thinks to himself, "maybe this
is just how she is." And maybe you are closer to the truth than you know,
Ryan.
Trista admits she has feelings for Ryan but that she is still holding back
because she doesn't know how the other dates will go. Read that as: how the
date with Charlie will go.
Trista and Ryan make out on the edge of the hot tub, and that causes the steam
to rise.
After the houseboat, Ryan and Trista go for dinner at the Seattle Needle. It
is obvious that Ryan is falling in love with Trista. He discusses the
concept of engagement with her. It's a big deal to him and he wants to gauge
her feeling about engagements in general. Specifically, Ryan wants to know
how she feels about long or short engagements. To him, if she picks him "and she's going to really commit to the engagement. . . I say then let's go
ahead and get married." This boy is ready.
In his shy, Ryan way, he mentions that there are things he would like to do
with Trista. Trista, in her worldly woman way, picks up on the sexual
connotations right away. She insists on knowing "what things" he wants to do
with her. Ryan squirms. He's too much of a gentleman and switches the
conversation back to marriage and coming home to Trista at the end of the
day.
Okay, let me interrupt here with a tiny rant. It is obvious to me that
Trista has made her choice and it's not Ryan nor Russ. She has warm feelings
for Ryan and a contract with ABC so she has to lead him on. That makes me
feel sorry for him and a little negative about my homegirl.
"It was difficult because Ryan is sensitive," she says to the camera. "I
didn't want him to think he is less thought of in my mind. . . .I try to be
in each moment and give everyone a chance." I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it
anymore which is taking some of the enjoyment out of it for me. End of rant.
Trista pulls out the familiar envelope. We all know what it means but I
guess Ryan never watched "The Bachelor" so he is clueless. It is the invitation to stay in the fantasy suite as a couple.
"Are you serious?" Ryan say incredulously. "Let's go. Check please."
He tells the chauffeur to drive as fast as possible. He'll pay for the
speeding ticket.
Their fantasy room is a sleek, modern suite in black and white. It's all lit
up with candles. the bed is covered in rose petals.
"I'm the luckiest man in the world," Ryan tells Trista. To the camera he
confesses, "I'm not falling in love any more. I'm submersed in it."
They neck on the sofa in a passionate clinch. I feel like a voyeur watching
this. It is so intimate.
"Ryan makes me feel so warm and appreciated and special," Trista says later.
She wants to feel that way for the rest of her life and she thinks Ryan's
the man that could keep those feelings alive.
Our last shot of the date is a sign on the door knob that says "leave me
alone" leaving us to our imagination about what's going on behind closed
doors.
The second date is with Russ. It takes place in Sedona, Arizona at the
Enchantment Resort. I'm wondering if Trista picked this specific location
for Russ. It is a beautiful place, but it is very rocky and not very
romantic.
Trista makes the obligatory noise about how Russ has all the qualities she
is looking for in a husband. And she remarks how she believes Russ could be
tolerable in a more comfortable situation. But she believes she doesn't know
who he really is. And, it's my feeling, she doesn't want to. She's just
going through with this date because she has to.
The two take off in a helicopter and fly pass beautiful rock formations. The
first part of their date is extremely weird. They are going to have their
aura photographed. I'm wondering if Russ bribed somebody at ABC. The
photographs are supposed to tell them who they really are, what kind of
couple they will make and what their future can bring.
Trista is looking very skeptical. I could take an aura picture right now
without a camera. It's saying, "get me outta here." But she is gracious and
listens patiently to her reading. The photographer tells her that she is
driven and that she has lots of boundaries. She has a strong fear of
betrayal. And I think the photographer hits it dead on about how Trista is
feeling about Russ.
Next the photographer reads Russ. She tells him he's independent and a risk
taker. She's trying hard to sell him to Trista saying that this could be a
good thing for Trista. "This could be interesting." Interesting like a
Chinese curse.
Trista is not convinced. She tells the camera that Russ doesn't know how to
articulate who he is to her. So now we know one of the reasons Trista pulled
back. Russ, the writer, has trouble talking without a script in front of
him.
Of course, Russ tells the camera just the opposite. "I wouldn't be surprised
if I was the last guy with Trista." Poor, conceited Russ.
They go to dinner and the tension is palpable. Unfortunately, it isn't
sexual tension. Trista's body language is all negative. Russ just babbles on
about how he is at a disadvantage at showing Trista how he really feels
because she puts restrictions on him. Doesn't she know he's one of those
guys that can't talk without using their hands? Or maybe she does know this.
In defense of Russ, I think he is right on the money. She shut him out after
their initial make-out session. Regardless, she's just tired of talking
about it. So they proceed to have a nice, polite fight.
Russ: I'm here because we connected. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I
mean)
Trista: You're here because I had to pick three guys.
Russ: You won't let me be my aggressive self.
Trista: I only like aggressive men that I let be aggressive.
Russ: Then why did you kiss me?
Trista: Because I was drunk and you looked hot and you gave me a box from
Tiffany.
Russ: Now you won't even let me hold your hand.
Trista: Don't you think that's rushing it?
Russ: No, I don't
Trista: See, you're doing it again.
Russ: Then why did you give me a rose?
Trista: You didn't see Greg, the importer's so-called apartment.
Russ: So I guess I'm not getting a rose tonight.
Trista: You got that right.
Russ is sweating so profusely I just wish she would hand him a napkin or
something. Trista just wants to get the date over with. She throws the
invitation envelope on the table. She does not want to share a room with the
guy but she has to read it. When she finishes reading the invitation, she
almost says she's not doing it but catches herself. She tells Russ to make
the decision.
He actually says he wants to prolong this torture, I mean, date. They go
check out the suite together. The room is not very romantic even though
there are rose petals on the bed.
Russ tells Trista that hanging out with her is all he wanted to do but
Trista turns down spending the night with him. She claims it's because of
his argumentative nature.
"What's going to happen when we really are dating and fully committed. .
.what kinds of fights will we have then?'
Trista sends him into that cold night. And Russ is beginning to see the
writing on the wall. He says he doesn't know if he would accept a rose even
if she offered it. Obviously, he is already starting the face-saving spin on
things.
Charlie's date takes place in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. It is so obvious that
Trista is into him. She tells us once again for the umpteenth time how much
she liked him from the beginning. The chemistry between the two is the
complete opposite of that between her and Russ.
He discusses their last meeting with his family. He tells Trista he talked
with dad afterwards. Of course, he doesn't mention that his dad called her
was "needy." But he does tell her that his father said she was 100% better
than all the other girls he's brought home. This is not a compliment,
Charlie. In fact, it's kind of vain. Trista doesn't let him get away with
it. "What are the girls like that you brought home?"
He realizes there is no good answer to this questions so he changes the
subject to his mom. Red flag but I guess Trista isn't watching for it.
Charlie take this time to dis poor Russ. I guess he feels a little insecure
about him because he has already revealed that he doesn't feel Ryan is any
competition to him. He tells Trista that he didn't think Russ is sincere
like he and Ryan is. Trista tells Charlie that he's over thinking. They kiss
on the beach and I'm wondering where his hands are because the camera is
keeping the shot tight.
"Whenever he holds me, I feel him shaking and the heat what we conjure up
together is something I'm looking forward to," she says.
They take a ride on a yacht with Trista on his lap. He tells Trista she is
hard to read, that he feels she's more distant than before. Actually, he's
just trying to get her to tell him he's the one. But she can't, Charlie.
It's not in her contract.
They have dinner on the beach under the stars.
"Charlie lights me up like a Christmas tree."
Trista asks Charlie what does he see happening if he's the last man
standing.
Charlie says he would want an exclusive commitment but not necessarily an
engagement right away. Trista says they're on the same page.
She pulls out the invitation for the fantasy suite. After she reads it to
him, she lets him make the decision. Charlie leaves it up to her comfort
level which she tells him is "pretty comfortable."
Somehow on their way to the suite, they end up in a hot tub. Charlie brings
up his mom again as they turn to conversations about what they would name
their kids. Charlie would like to name his daughter Charlie. Trista adds
Rose as a middle name. "Charley Rose." They both think that it's just the
cutest thing.
After making out in the hot tub, Trista leads Charlie to the suite. "I'm
going to bed," are the last words we hear. They're spoken by Trista.
It is now time for the most predictable rose ceremony ever. But first we
have the host talking with Trista. He tells her she looks like a woman in
love. She says she is, with possibly two men.
He has to bring up something she said earlier about getting intimate. He
doesn't just ask her, "did you do it?" but we get the picture. She answers
frankly that she needs to do what is true to her and part of that is
exploring the sexual compatibility. She explains that when the camera isn't
on her there might have been some times when the couples could "enjoy each
other." That's when things got really real, she said.
The host leaves her to watch the private videos left by each man. Ryan's
video is very cute. He recites an original poem about a boy and a girl and a
killer whale making references to their first sea world date. She giggles.
Russ' video is a rehash of all his other videos. Trista never cracks a smile
the whole time she watches. Her smile is back when she watches Charlie's
video. He speaks of how fantastic it was to wake up the morning after with
Trista in his arms.
Then it's time for Trista to hand out the roses. She knows she hasn't made a
mistake. She gives to Ryan and Charlie. Russ is left standing on the outside
looking in.
Trista and Russ have one last conversation. Although Trista thinks Russ has
a lot of qualities she's looking for in a husband, she doubts that they
could communicate once they were married.
Russ tells her he expected this. I think he is charming in defeat. Trista
clearly did not care for him as time went on. She did try to let him down
easy and told him what a great guy he was but "they were butting heads more
than holding hands."
Apart Trista puts the blame on him. "The fact that he didn't cop to the
feelings he was feeling verify my decision was right on."
In the limousine, Russ says just the opposite. He says he put himself out
there but Trista put her guard up after that first date. He thought Trista
got scared early on because of how fast things went. He might have something
there. Trista seems to be the kind of woman who like to be in control in a
passive way and she never felt that with Russ. And that's my pseudo
psychoanalysis of Russ' final dismissal.
Next week, the men get a chance to dish about Trista. It's just as well
because the last rose ceremony will be the most predictable one ever after
this one.
The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All? Well, maybe not all. You know how this
show loves superlatives. This show is basically a recap of all the previous
shows leading up to the final show when Trista tells the world her decision.
At least we know this going in, unlike Monday's night bore fest Joe
Millionaire.
Since this a recap show, I won't concentrate on the recaps but on the men's
reactions.
This was a very male oriented episode. Twenty-two of the bachelors returned
to dish. Absent were Charlie, Ryan and legally-challenged Greg. It's a good
thing the host Chris Harrison reintroduced us to the men. Most of them had
faded back into the recesses of my mind. All of them had on their beauty
pageant smiles except for Duane. He looked like he was looking for an exit.
Good ole Bob got the most of hoots from the mostly female audience. Jamie
was a close runner-up. Maybe the women were there to pick up the left overs.
Chris set the tone for the show with his first question--the rose
ceremony--how did it feel to get your egos shattered on nationwide TV.
Russ, true to form, jumped out there ahead of the other men. "You have no
control. You feel like a piece of meat out there." No, not you Russ. You
were so going to be the last man standing.
Anyway, Chris calls Russ to the hot seat to interrogate him further. He made
a lot out of the fact that Russ was the first guy to kiss Trista "but it
might have been the kiss of death." Then it was time to roll that beautiful
Russ video. We were taken through his journey on the Bachelorette from the
first moment he stepped out of the limousine to his disastrous last date and
parting remarks. Sprinkled throughout the narrative of the video were cameos
of the other men commenting on Russ' behavior and Trista's own reaction to
Russ.
What the video did for me was remind me how handsome Russ is. It is obvious,
however, that he is a one-on-one kind of guy. He was in it to win Trista,
not to participate in a lot of male bonding like some of the others. I found
his aggression single-minded but not necessarily offensive. But he wasn't
playing by beauty pageant rules where if you don't win the prize, at least
you're voted most congenial.
The men didn't know that Trista was back stage watching the show. They
showed picture-in-a-picture shots of her reaction along with some of the
video. Of course, it was for theatrics. Trista has seen these scenes already
but we get to see her look of amazement at Charlie calling Russ a "cheese
ball." Like they haven't been saying this to each other in private.
Trista says to the camera that Russ has changed since the first night. The
truth is that Trista changed her opinion of Russ from the first night.
After the video, Chris asked Russ what was his reaction. Russ threw the
question to Rob, the long-hair shaggy bachelor who called Russ "the
chiseler."
Rob answered that he thought Russ basically forgot that there was 24 other
guys.
Chris pointed out that was the point of the whole show. Rob disagreed but
Bob made light of it all by saying he was surprised Trista didn't kiss on
the first date because Jamie tried it with a completely different result.
Jamie throws a pillow at Bob. It's all in fun.
Chris keeps stressing the first kiss like it was part of a score in a sports
event.
"Did you know that you were the first guy to kiss Trista," he asked Russ. Russ started to answer but this guy is incapable of stringing words together
in a coherent sentence. He took speech lessons from George Bush Sr., I
think. Instead he talked about the date in Las Vegas and that each guy was
getting alone time. The other men were incredulous. If they were, they
didn't know about it.
Brook, the cowboy, specifically noted that Russ took all of their alone
time. Josh added that they looked around and Russ and Trista was gone.
But Russ defended himself saying he was just following Trista. I'm sorry,
Russ. That was a cheesy statement. And I'm trying so hard to like you.
Next Chris told Russ about how he was perceived in the media. He mentioned
that one of the columnist went so far as to label him a stalker. Chris
wanted Russ' reaction to his bad press.
Russ said he didn't take it personally. The critics were just reacting to the
character he was on the show. But Chris pointed out that he was playing
himself.
That made everyone laugh including me. I know what you mean, Russ. It's all
in the way they edit reality shows. And you were edited as the show's bad
guy to help make it more interesting.
A member from the audience got a chance to ask Russ a question at this
point. She wanted to know what happened to the fantasy date. Russ said that
he wasn't feeling romantic any more. Off stage, Trista just shook her head.
Next in the hot seat is Bob. Bob is looking good. Chris asked what happened
to the rest of Bob. Bob said "now that's a fat joke."
If Russ is the conflict in the show, Bob is the comic relief. He is "every
man" but that's only because of his appearance. He has more personality than
most of his compadres. And we witness it in a quick montage video dubbed by
Chris as "Deep Bob."
Chris ask him how did it feel to get rejected. Dumb journalist question. Chris thinks Bob's extra weight as possibly being part of his downfall. (Now are you saying Trista is shallow, Chris). We get the explanation that Bob is actually an athlete, a football player. During the taping, he was recovering from an injury and had put on extra weight and extra flab.
"I was a little bloated, let's say," Bob joked. "It was my game strategy. .
.I'm always going to look better than I did on TV. . .but those guys. . .one
fat burger and it's all over.
An audience member gets to ask him a question. Unfortunately she hadn't been
listening to the show so she asks the same dumb question Chris asked about
being rejected. Chris asked the question the audience member was supposed to
ask. "Are you dating now?" I wonder why he didn't ask Russ this question.
Bob didn't really answer the question. He just said that he was in the
process of changing his life and that now he was into pleasing himself
"which sounds pretty weird," he realized as soon as he said it.
His time in the hot seat was up. Chris then asked who eats dry dog food. The
answer is Jamie. So, of course, it was Jamie's time in the hot seat. He was
the odds on favorite with many people to capture Trista's heart because of
his handsome looks and wholesome personality.
"Looking back at it," Chris asked him, "Do you wish you had made out with
her in the shower?
"I was not going to make out with her. No. Definitely not. I knew at the
time it wasn't the right thing to do. I don't even know this girl. I was on
one date."
Chris brings up the kiss, rather the peck, he gave Trista on the beach.
"A spectacular TV moment," Jamie jokes.
Chris rubs it in about how apologetic Jamie was about the kiss, but she had
already kissed Russ, Ryan and Charlie.
Jamie said the kiss was just a thank you kiss, nothing more.
Chris then questions Jamie's obvious nervousness with Trista. Jamie
explained that he had a panic disorder and that Trista probably mistook that
for nervousness. I had listened to an interview weeks ago about how Jamie
had retreated from all social events for at least a year because of his
anxiety. To conquer this disorder, he started challenging himself by putting
himself in confrontational situations. This was one of the reasons he tried
out for The Bachelorette. He believed Trista didn't understand the disorder
and saw it as a weakness.
Brook was the next one to be singled out. After Russ, he was the only other
guy to confront Trista. Remember, he called her shallow. What could he have
been thinking?
Chris asked if he still stood behind that comment. Brook said he wouldn't
change it for the world. He believed that was why he wasn't picked. Chris asked if he didn't believe that Trista was just allergic to horses. Brook thought "so what. You can get shots for that. Love conquers all." Chris pointed that maybe just like Trista didn't get to know him that well, that maybe Brook didn't know her enough to make that kind of judgment. Brook stands his ground and offers how Trista eliminated Greg because of his small apartment as proof of his assessment. He was standing up for cowboys everywhere, durn it.
Unbelievable. Excuse me while I roll my eyes and laugh in derision.
Okay, I'm back.
The next video we see is "Boys will be Boys" video. We get full disclosure
of what happened the night Jack got so drunk he ended up on the lawn. What
really happened is that the guys all decided to do a "century club" which is
explained as drinking a shot a minute. Of course, everyone ends up blotto.
Jamie lost his nervousness and moons the camera and then eats dog food from
the bag. But Jack is so inebriated that he whizzes on his bed. So now we
know why he was taken outside, bed and all. When he woke up, he is still so
groggy that he staggers around trying to orientate himself. The men found
this so hilarious. I guess it's a man thing. I just felt bad for Jack.
(Gordongram: I found it hilarious too. Must be a man thing. And I thought that if you were that dumb to be that drunk, knowing that you're going to be on TV, you deserve to be thrown off and have whatever was coming.)
Greg the importer was also featured prominently in clips that showed him
showering excess amounts of affection on the dog. Maybe he thought that was
the closest he would get to the blonde on the show. I don't know. It kind of
disturbed me even though I'm a dog person.
An audience member asks an inane question, "who took the longest to get
ready?" I'm wondering where they got these people from. They wasted their
time or maybe they were just edited this way.
Trista presence is made known at this point. The level of fun goes down
immediately. It was so noticeable. One moment everyone was having a great
time and the next moment it's as if the principal walked into a classroom.
Trista took this opportunity to try and prove she was a nice girl. First,
she told Jamie that she tried not to focus on the panic attacks and that she
realized it was a strength. She just wanted him to know he had nothing to be
insecure about. This proved only that she didn't get it. Jamie graciously
accepted her apology without further comment.
To Brook, she tried to convince him that she wasn't a liar. It was okay if
he thought she was shallow, but she didn't want him to think she was
insincere. And the wuss, Brook just backed down and said it was cool.
For some reason it was important for her to set the record straight about
who turned down who on the fantasy date. She wanted the audience to know it
was her idea. Russ just repeated that he wanted to hang out with her but he
wasn't feeling romantic. And this is how I remember it too.
There is definitely something between these two but I don't know if it is
good. Bob saw the fireworks. Now in a romance novel, Trista would end up
with Russ because of all the friction. There was some additional
confrontation that ended up on the editing floor. I glimpsed a bit of it on
Good Morning America. It was intense and the emotion in Trista's eyes were
contempt. I don't know where the animosity is coming from but it is still
very much alive.
Chris asked Trista about the double standard America has about intimacy.
Trista answered that she hated it and that people should compare individuals
not gender to gender. She must have been keeping count, though, because she
said Aaron kissed seven girls, Alex kissed 12, she only kissed 4 guys.
"And are you in love?"
"I am," she said in that little girl voice that drives me crazy.
Big applause.
One audience member wanted to know if Trista ever achieved the big "O."
Jamie jumped in and joked that Trista told him she had when they kissed on
the beach. Trista answered for herself and said there were two different
kinds. She had experienced one but not the other. She didn't explain that
and Chris didn't ask her to elaborate.
We finally hear from another one of the men. Basically they were used as
props. But Paul, the cute long hair guy from Hawaii, wanted to know if the
clinches on the show had caused any problems between her and her newfound
love.
Trista answered that it was hard for him and it was hard for her.
"Especially the kiss with Russ."
Trista leaves the stage. Bob didn't even get his hug. But the show is now at
an end. We get clips of Charlie and Russ promoting the upcoming final show.
For Trista, it's a decision between the Realist (Charlie) and the Dreamer
(Ryan). I wonder who she'll pick. Yeah, right. And why is Charlie a realist?
Because "he is someone who can take care of me."
Tonight was fun but I wish more men had got their chance to talk and better
questions were asked. Like, did you know Alex is available again? Did you
know Amanda says that you're one of the reasons for the breakup?
The day has finally arrived. We will finally find out who Trista Rehn chose.
Is it Charlie, the realist, or Ryan, the dreamer.
The finale begins with the same preamble we have gotten on each show. Memo to ABC: cut to the chase, please. Less filler, more substance. We've seen it all before. There's the quick recap leading up to today. Then there's something we
haven't seen before--Trista without make-up.
We hear her usual mantra about how from day one "the person I'm most
sexually attracted to is Charlie." There's Charlie stepping out of the limo
for the first time, again. We are treated to a quick montage of all Charlie
and Trista's dates as she does a voice over about how much chemistry she has
with him. Again, she tells us how he would make an excellent husband for her
because he has everything she's looking for.
"I would so like to be with both of them," she concludes at the end of the
montage.. That's against the rules of the game, girl.
Now that we've seen Charlie, it's Ryan's turn. From the moment he read her
his poem, he struck a romantic chord with Trista. While we watch the
Ryan-Trista montage, we hear Trista talking about the pros for choosing
Ryan. "There's definite moments when we're quiet together, I definitely see
my future with him."
This is so stressful for poor Trista. She has to choose between two great
guys. She packs her suitcase in preparation to leave for St. Louis. She is
hoping that the meeting between the guys and her family will help shed some
light on whom she should pick. The limousine pulls away. The plane takes
off. Then we get the first of the endless teasers for what's to come. "Who
will she choose?"
Commercial is over. The plane lands in St. Louis. First up is Charlie.
"I want by the end of this evening to have Trista's family to say, 'wow,
he's got a solid head on his shoulder and he'll be great for our daughter.'"
He stands on the sidewalk waiting for Trista, looking cool and collected.
The limo pulls up and Trista gets out to hug him.
"He looked great. he always does. And today was no different."
They drive off to the Botanical Gardens. They will some alone time here
before dinner with the folks.
The red and gold leaves remind us this happened last fall. They feed the
ducks in the lagoon. Trista is still marveling at her good luck to have met
someone with whom she has such "mind-boggling" chemistry. Charlie thinks
things changed for the better after their last date. Their level of comfort
with each other is even closer.
They find shelter somewhere in the garden and take time to chat and smooch.
The conversation isn't exciting so I won't repeat it.
"It just feels right whenever we're together," she says to the camera.
She warns Charlie that her parents will probably grill him and her at
dinner. He's not afraid. He's ready for any question. Trista has no anxiety
about the coming meeting either. She is sure that her parents will be as
impressed with Charlie as she was.
Trista jumps into the house ahead of Charlie and is greeted with a hug from
her father Stan, her step-mom Carol, her mother Roseanne and her stepsister
Jackie, in that order.
Roseanne, an older version of Trista, is very impressed with Charlie at
first sight. "Wow. Tall, dark, handsome."
Carol swoons too. "He has beautiful eyes."
Carol and Roseanne confer in the kitchen and they agree. Charlie is a heart
throb.
"I wish I was 30," Roseanne says.
Trista saw how big their eyes got when got a load of Charlie. "They both
think Charlie's hot."
Before dinner, they lounge in the family room. Stan starts right in with the
important question, "what do you do?"
Charlie gives a quick resume. He talks about his true love, the stock
market. It seems that's a subject that Stan can relate to.
"You guys got so much in common," she remarks.
Charles is at a crossroad right now which makes me wonder about the report
that he is unemployed right now. Roseanne says pointedly "It's good you had
the time off." Trista and Charlie laugh nervously at this comment.
They all go to the dining room for dinner. Dad brings with him a bowl of
questions.
"It was Roseanne's idea to come up with a bowl of questions and make a game
of it," Stan explains.
Charlie is not nervous at all. Everybody is having a good time. They're
laughing and chatting. He's ready for the questions.
Roseanne: Are you a morning person or evening person?
Charlie: He's up at 5:30 a.m. every morning. It's by habit not choice.
Roseanne: What's under your bed?
Charlie: Dust bunnies, definitely.
Carol: How would you feel if your wife made more than you. Could you be a
Mr. Mom?
Charlie: Sure. I have no issues with it because I look at marriage as a
partnership.
Bob: And can we have copies of your last four 1099's?
Charlie is then offered the option of asking a question. He just wants to
know something Trista may not have felt compelled to share with him.
Carol pulls out an old, uncomplimentary photo of Trista taken years ago.
It's the first and only time I feel sorry for her. She is in an ugly
bridesmaid dress having a bad hair day and wearing braces. Trista hides her
face in shame. I wonder why Carol did this. Does she have some issues with
Trista? Hmm.
Charlie is kind. He doesn't rub it in. He says he's just grateful she can't
see his embarrassing photos.
Jackie finally speaks. She has the "good" question.
Jackie: Besides your, what other parts of your body do you shave?
Charles: I don't shave my chest but I clip it with a buzzer because I'm very
hairy. (Trista says she already knew the answer to that one.)
Carol: How do you feel at this point--more concerned about not being
selected or more concerned about being selected?
Charlie: Not afraid of commitment. Let me make one thing clear, I want to be
with Trista. I adore her. But if I'm not chose (as if that would happen), I
will get over it. Because at least Trista will be happy.
Trista looked away at that answer.
Carol believes Charlie cares for Trista and he wants to be chosen for the
right reason.
"A commitment of the heart, body, and the mind," Stan interjects and Charlie
agrees that is what he wants.
Roseanne just wants to know if Charlie has an older clone for her.
Carol asks Roseanne if she has a question "worth asking." Charlie jumps in
and ask whether he was a good kisser.
They know this girl. They know he wouldn't be there if he wasn't.
Stan endorses Charlie but throws Ryan's name into the conversation.
Trista says aside that her parents love Charlie. The bar is set kind of high
for Ryan. They even invite him back again before they meet Ryan. Stan says
aside that this invitation was in jest but that Charlie was so likable.
Carol also gives Charlie her stamp of approval.
Aside Charlie says that he is sure that the next time he sees Trista's
parents he might be engaged to their daughter.
They kiss for the family before leaving for the hotel. In the limo, Trista
brings up the intimacy issue. She is referring to a conversation from a
couple of dates ago when Charlie expressed his disapproval of her sleeping
with anyone else but him. Trista never discussed it again but now she lets
him know that she has to explore every aspect of a romance including sex
before she can make a decision. She lays down the law and Charlie accepts.
She tells him it's not a betrayal. She would love it to be just Charlie in
the picture but it isn't. And it kills her.
Warning bells should be going off right now but she's holding his hand.
Charlie wants clarification.
"So your heart is with me?"
"Yes. You have my heart." But I'm sharing my body, okay.
Charlie gives in. They kiss. And they end up sharing the night together in
the hotel. I think she's doing some comparison shopping.
Another teaser but I'm beginning to doubt my prediction of Charlie winning
now because of the position of the men as she tells them her decision.
Commercial over. Trista gives her critique of the night before. "Charlie
fits in with my family."
But now it's Ryan's turn. He is standing at the same place where Charlie
stood the day before. She greets him like she did Charlie. They speed off
for their date on a riverboat on the Mississippi River. At least, the date
is different.
Ryan is not as sure as Charlie. He's concerned about how his rival did with
the family. It is his mission to find out how Trista is thinking. He has a
very long soliloquy with her telling her how he feels and asking her to
return the favor. Trista admits to the camera she has not been as open with
him as he has been with her.
Aside, he tells the camera that he has gone from being head over heels in
love with her to thinking about the other guys to thinking why is it so one
sided. She has consumed his life. It hurts not knowing. He knows she's
trying to spare the feelings of the guys, but it still hurts. And it bothers
him to know that she has feelings for someone else but "what can I do about
it." It's the show.
They drive to Trista's family's house without him getting the answer he
wanted. Trista is a little apprehensive about the meeting because everyone
loved Charlie and Ryan is so different.
Ryan admits Charlie is a formidable opponent. He's very nervous about
meeting parents.
After the introduction, they retire to the family room. The chemistry is
very different with Ryan. The family is very serious and subdued. There's no
bowl of questions this time. Dad wants to know why Ryan came to be a
fireman. Ryan gives his quick resume and answers he sort of fell into the
job and now he loves it.
Roseanne asks about their dates. The answers are very dull. There are no
goo-goo eyes from the women. Dad notices Ryan's nervousness. They don't seem
very impressed at his poetry or amateur drawings. Dad says Ryan is totally
different from all the other guys his daughter has dated.
At dinner Roseanne sits across from him. She asks Ryan what three little
things he found out about Trista. Ryan sidesteps the question. Roseanne
tries again. She wants to know how they complete each other.
Trista answers first that Ryan is gentle and she's "out there."
Ryan agrees that they're different and that how they complement each other.
He goes on to say that the turning point for him was when they were sitting
on the couch not saying anything and he realized that this was his dream
come true.
Roseanne recognizes that Ryan is a special spirit.
Ryan tells the family that he really doesn't write that many poems. Trista
just inspires him. She is the poetry for him. This made Roseanne teary eyed.
Stan asked what attracted Trista to him. Ryan couldn't answer. He says there
were no words to describe his feelings. I guess he can't do poems on the
spot, thank goodness.
Carol has no doubt in her mind that Ryan has fallen in love with Trista and
she is amazed that anyone could allow themselves to be so vulnerable in such
a short time on this kind of show.
Russ takes Stan away at this point. He wants to make his intentions known.
He thinks it is the honorable thing to do regardless of what kind of show it
is. He professes his love for Trista in a long rambling but sincere
conversation. Then he ask for her dad's permission to marry Trista if she
chooses him.
I am so sure he is not going to be picked. I'm thinking this guy should be
with Zora from Joe Millionaire instead of shallow, materialistic Trista.
Stan tells Ryan that they both love Trista. Trista has a difficult choice
and he won't try to influence her decision. But if she picked Ryan, he would
welcome him to the family. Aside to the camera, Stan says he never expected
to be asked for his daughter's hand in marriage. He was "floored, stunned
pleasantly, impressed."
Russ and Trista say their good-byes to the family. Trista walks him to the
limo and leaves him there to stew while she gets some feedback from the
family.
Roseanne decides to stand for the big discussion because she feels a cry
coming on. Trista asked if her mom was still worried. She says "nope."
Trista want to know why, if it is because of Ryan or Ryan and Charlie.
Roseanne answers that it's the chemistry of both men.
Carol questions whether their answers will influence Trista. And she's just
glad it's not her decision to make.
Roseanne admits to the camera that she connected more with Charlie.
Stan tells her he was impressed by Charlie but Ryan was very sincere. Trista
says that's what she likes most about Ryan.
Aside, Carol thinks Charlie is more Trista's type.
Roseanne said there has to be one negative thing about each guy to help her
make her decision. The only negative thing for Trista about Ryan was his
location. For Charlie, she kept trying to think of an answer and the camera
cut before we found out what it was because I'm sure she had an answer. More
about that later. The only negative thing she said on camera was that she
couldn't have them both.
She mentions how she wants a long engagement and so does Charlie. But Ryan
wants to get married right away. This is when Stan mentions that Ryan asked
for his permission to marry her. Trista tears up and Roseanne runs for
tissue for herself.
Carol believes Ryan is Trista's soul mate. Roseanne thinks Charlie is still
the one. Dad stays neutral. We don't hear from step-sis. Trista still plays
it close to the vest and we still got a whole hour to go.
She joins Ryan in the limo. they snuggle. Ryan is still scared he won't get
the rose. Trista takes him back to the hotel for some more comparison
shopping.
Back in L.A., she confesses she still doesn't know who she will choose which
I think is untrue but she's trying to keep up the suspense for the show.
Besides she gets one last date before she has to make up her mind. She also
has to choose which diamond rings from Harry Winston Jewelers she wants.
This doesn't seem to be very hard at all for her even though her fingers are
shaking at the prospect.
Charlie show up first for the last date before decision time. They have a
picnic on the floor of Trista's bachelor digs. It's very cozy and romantic.
There's a fire going in the fireplace. Charlie expresses doubt for the first
time to Trista. There's a lot of touchy feely moments but the conversation
is very dull.
Aside to the camera Charlie says he will be shocked if he's not the one
Trista picks.
I think Charlie came prepared for a sleep over but Trista kicks him out this
time.
Ryan's date is next. It's on the floor too but this time she has set a table
Japanese-style. Before Ryan arrives, ABC rewards all us faithful viewers
with shots of Ryan's magnificent abs as he prepares for the date. Thank you,
ABC.
During the date, Ryan tries once again to find out her choice. They talk
about the whole process and the dinner with the family. Ryan is not allowed
to stay either. They make out in the bedroom and then she kicks him out too.
We then find out that Trista did indeed do the deed with Ryan. He tells the
camera "The last two dates I haven't had to go home. I've been able to spend
the night and wake up with her. It sucks that I have to go."
Into the night Trista leads us to believe she is still debating who to
choose: the dreamer or the realist.
But finally, the day has really arrived. Trista wakes up as a single woman
but by the night she believes she will be part of a couple.
"The first day I really thought Charlie was the one," she says over shots of
her preparation. "And my feelings have grown."
We see Charlie shopping for the diamond ring he plans to give Trista. He
picks a 3 stone square cut radian ring. It's beautiful.
Then there's Ryan doing the same thing picking the same ring. "The first
night that I saw Ryan he struck me. . .Everything about him attracts me to
him."
The men look at their ring choices in the separate hotel room and
contemplate the seriousness of the evening. The tension is building. I just
wish they would hurry up. They have dragged this thing on for almost two
hours. By split screen we see each man dressing up in a tux, getting into
the limo, and driving up to the mansion.
Poor Trista. She's just thinking how hard it is for her to break someone's
heart.
Chris appears for the first time on the show. He asks Trista if this week
helped her make her decision. She answers yes. Ryan asking for her hand in
marriage scored major points. Oh-oh.
Chris tells her how the evening will go. He didn't have. She's been there,
done that. she knows they will arrive separately. They won't get to see each
other. She'll talk to each individually. They won't know if they're picked
until she says so.
He leaves her to listen to one last private video message. Charlie thanks
her for the good times and ask for her heart. Trista watches with a tiny,
tiny smile. It gets very broad while she watches Ryan's video. He tells her
he's had a good life but it won't be complete without her to share it with
him.
Trista meets up with Chris to go deliver the news to her men. She walks
alone down a rose strewn staircase to the garden and waits for the first
man.
It's Charlie. He is so confident. I think, oh, they're going to do like Joe
Millionaire and tell the winner first. Trista greets Charlie with a big
smile and hug. She take his hand and looks into his eyes.
"Charlie the first time I saw you I got chills. A tiny little voice told me
you're the one. Every moment we spent together since then has allowed me to
believe in that tiny voice." Long, long pause. "Unfortunately, my heart has
led me a different way."
Charlie's smile freezes. I'm screaming at the screen. It's good I taped it
because I'm shouting "No way. No way! I don't believe it." And Charlie can't
believe it either. She fooled us all. She fooled us good. Maybe she does
have a career as an actress.
"I'm really sorry." The tears start to flow. There is pain on Charlie's
face.
"I only wanted to be with you if it was meant to be," he tells her. "I wish
you nothing but the best." Classy. They walk hand in hand to the limo.
Charlie's head is down. Trista is still crying. At the limo she tries to
apologize again but Charlie is having none of it. He just wants to make a
clean getaway. He says he understands.
Aside Trista says she didn't know how hard it would be to tell Charlie he
wasn't the one. Really. She justifies it by saying Charlie may have strong
emotions for her but he didn't love her. There is no comparison with the
feelings she has for Ryan.
I am shocked and amazed. I was so wrong. And Charlie thought he had it in
the bag too. In the limo speech he says it feels like getting thrown in
front of a bus. He would never have guessed this outcome. Charlie is a
little bitter and a lot hurt.
Actually it's a lot like the first Bachelor ending when I was sure Alex
would pick Trista and he picked Amanda and we know how that ended.
But now it's time for Ryan. The tears are gone. There is only a big smile
for Ryan.
She tells him how she has dreamed about this since she was a little girl.
She sees "babies and grand babies and a wedding dress and all of it with
you." Her dream has come true so I guess that's why she picked the dreamer.
Ryan is so happy. He is beaming. Trista tells him she can finally tell him
she is in love with him.
Ryan answers first with a small, respectful kiss, then a disjointed speech
that ends with "I love you with every ounce of who I am." He offers his
hand, his hear and soul and his love. He then drops to one knee and
proposes.
"Yes," Trista says breathlessly. He slips on the ring and we have our happy
ending.
I still can't believe it's Ryan.
She ask Ryan if he will accept the last rose. He does and they kiss again
and again.
Ryan says he is the happiest guy in the world. He finally got the answers to
all his questions and they are the ones he wanted.
Trista confesses when she is with Ryan she feels like nothing else she ever
felt before.
And I feel good for them but I also feel like I've been had. They edited all
the shows so it made it seem like Charlie was going to win. We were duped by
editing. Maybe there is no script for the players but the editing department
sure has one.
Anyway, it's not over. There will be one last show when the bachelor and the
bachelorette tells all. I wonder how this will be edited. I'm just so glad
it's over.
Guess what? The reality TV show "The Bachelor" has been turned into a soap
opera. It's called "Aaron and Helene Tell All."
Sure. It still has the look of the reality show. There's host Chris Harrison
to state the obvious and ask "probing" questions. There are still the
endless teasers before each commercial. And I'm sure the editors still have
a hand in how it's scripted. But this is a soap opera about how fairy tale
endings can go very wrong or right. It's about real people, real emotions,
real unhappiness. Oh, I forgot. That is the working definition of a reality
television show.
Tonight's final (I hope) episode begins with the clips we have seen in all
the commercials promoting the tell all. Afterwards, Chris comes out alone to
welcome us to the drama. He explains that tonight we will finally find out
the truth about those rumors that has been swirling around. You know, the
ones discussed in depth on message boards about the break up of Aaron and
Helene, the winning couple from Bachelor II.
Chris never brings up the names of Alex and Amanda from Bachelor I but
that's a different story. It wouldn't do for this segment because Trista is
on later. We find out immediately that Helene refused to sit down with Aaron
for this interview. That speaks volumes.
Before the interview gets going, we must first revisit the televised romance
from their first meeting to the final rose ceremony. Aaron looks gorgeous.
He appears enchanted with Helene. Although I never thought he should have
picked Helene, on the clips she appears to be bright, enchanting and
emotionally invested. There are a few audio clips, too, to go along with the
recaps. Aaron talks about the chemistry he feels for her. There is a telling
comment that he doesn't want to become too close to any woman. I'm guessing
he's talking about on the show.
Helen's audio clips express how she is falling for Aaron and how she is
beginning to open herself up to the experience and allow herself to trust
him.
There is an ironic shot of them in the hot tub when Aaron asks Helene if she
wonders how things will be when they're out of the camera's eye down the
road. Helene answers that she thinks it will be cool. She can't see herself
having any complaints.
The final shot is the rose ceremony where Aaron proposes and Helene answers
she will marry him "without a doubt."
That brings us to the interview. Helene sits down with Chris. She looks
beautiful and vulnerable. Her eyes glitter with tears held back.
Chris' first question is about the beginning of the romance.
Chris: Let's go back to the show...Tell us about your journey.
Helene: ...I was very skeptical throughout the whole process then I started
to open up toward the very end to try and give it a chance.
Chris: At what point did you see Aaron in a different light?
Helene: He seemed like a pretty decent guy at first.
She never answers the question. Instead she talks about how nervous she was
as the show was drawing to an end. Chris talks about the rose ceremony.
Helene says she was still unsure even then that she would be proposed to.
Chris: So on that day, when he proposed to you, were you guys actually in
love?
Helene: Yes, I can actually say that.
At this point she can't hold back the tears any longer. She reaches for a
bottle of water to cover up her discomposure. She apologizes for her
emotional display. It is painful to watch.
They go to a commercial extensively to allow her to compose herself but
since this is not a live show, that's a little disingenuous.
The tears are wiped away. The interview goes on. Chris asks again "When did
things start going bad for you guys?"
Again Helene can't pinpoint an exact moment. Instead she blames Aaron's
enjoyment of the media attention for their problems. She talks of times when
they had to schedule their times to be together around previous commitments,
to the show, I assume. She thought priorities should have been the reverse.
Chris asks if there were any tense moment, any fights.
Helene recalls an incident in Toronto when Aaron was ogling another woman in
a bar. She couldn't get his attention because he was so into watching the
other woman. This took place two weeks after getting engaged. She didn't
understand this. It upset her so much that she gave him back the engagement
ring. She thought that this act would wake him up and make him realize that
he wasn't "the bachelor" any more.
It is obvious that this is a watered down version of a very big blowup.
Helene, however, seemed to have gotten over it fairly quickly. The day after
incident she said they apologized to each other. She decided "it was just a
bump in the road." She said she looked past it.
Chris mentions their next date a few weeks later at Aaron's lake house in
Oklahoma.
"So he brought the ring there. Did he give it back to you?"
It seems that Aaron just left the ring on the night stand and never
mentioned it. Helene finally questioned Aaron about the ring. He was very
noncommittal. She told him "Of course, I want to wear it." She took the ring
back. Her feelings hadn't changed. She accepted that relationships are not
without arguments.
Again Chris wants to know when exactly did things go wrong.
Helene said she still doesn't have all the answers. She didn't think
anything was wrong but began to notice the phone calls taper off. He didn't
seem excited to be with her any more. He didn't spend the holidays with her,
which she thought was odd. After the holidays he came up and spent some time
with her. She said he was affectionate and she thought everything was fine
until an hour before he was to leave for the airport.
"I get this bomb dropped on me. He tells me he's lost feelings for me."
Helene struggles not to break down again. Chris pushes her for
clarification. She says she didn't really get a good explanation for what
happened. For now, it's basically over between them. But she still wonders
why he went from saying he love her a few hours before he dropped his bomb.
It's not clear but it seems this all happened on her birthday. If it was up
to her, she says they would still be together working on their difficulties.
Chris wanted to know if she still had the ring. She says she does in a
safety deposit box. "He said it was my unconditional gift."
His last question is if she still loves him. Helene paused and you can see
her brain whirling. She finally answers "Yes. It's hard for me to say I
didn't have feelings. I can turn my feelings off and on just like that. I
can't understand how he could." Eerie music starts to play. She breaks down
completely. The interview is over.
Our next shot is Chris standing alone. He wishes Helene well but says there
is always two sides to every story so we will now hear Aaron's side.
He welcomes Aaron. It's a different feeling to this. It's a guy to guy
thing. Instead of sympathy there is empathy. Chris wants Aaron to start from
the beginning.
"In the very beginning I was extremely impressed," Aaron says. He found
Helene beautiful and intelligent. He felt she had a lot of things going for
her.
Chris mentions that she always played it a little bit hard to get. "Was that
what attracted you to her?"
"Yes," Aaron answered. "I've been known to fall into the trap of going for
the challenge."
Chris wanted him to walk them through the day of the rose ceremony.
Aaron said he felt like they were both on the same page. He didn't have cold
feet. He was excited. At that point, the love was very real. There was no
doubt about it.
Chris asks him if the forced separation and the need for secrecy tough for
them. "You have no idea," Aaron answers with a lot of emotion.
Then we hear his version of what happened in Toronto. He said everything was
going great. He was feeling good. He said to himself "this is going to
work." Then they went to the bar. In his version, he is watching a couple
making out at the bar. He laughs at them and points them out to Helene. She
didn't get the joke. Instead, she became very upset. To this day he doesn't
know why.
Chris asks him "what do you think you did to make her upset." Aaron answers maybe Helene thought he was "ogling the guy's girl friend." The way he looks when he says this makes me think he was guilty but to him it wasn't a big deal.
He goes further to say that they went back to the hotel afterwards and
stayed up all night discussing what happened. I guess it was too much drama
for him because it was at this moment he says his eyes became open and his
heart sunk. Helene said it wasn't that big a deal but it was huge to him. It
hurt his feelings that she gave him back his ring.
The next time he saw her in Oklahoma, he didn't want to put her on the spot.
Translate that as he didn't want to start an argument. This is why he didn't
bring up the ring. He just left it where she could see it. She began to
question his love because he didn't say he loved her. He says he stopped
saying it because she said she didn't believe him. At this point, he
realized that they don't see things the same way. He is appalled.
In Toronto, he felt like he was getting pushed away. He thought she didn't
love him and he began to question his love for her.
When he saw her again for the third time--to watch the final episode of the
show--he was relieved to see her again. "She looked beautiful." Then she had
to spoil it all by wanting to talk about the relationship. She doubted his
sincerity and that bothered him. From that moment on he started to check out
of the relationship. He felt that they were arguing every time they saw each
other. There was an obvious conflict in their personalities that he had
overlooked in the beginning. Of course, I could have told him that from
watching the show.
Chris still is searching for that one exact moment--this time the moment
when he decided to tell Helene it was over.
Aaron said he went to New Jersey for her birthday. He felt like he was
living a lie so he took that moment to give her his bomb for her birthday
present. He was surprised at her shock. To him they had switched places in
the relationship. At the beginning, he was the optimist and she was the
skeptic. They had changed places. But when all is said and done, he doesn't
regret the experience.
Chris acts confused about the status of the relationship. Aaron isn't. It's
definitely over. He still thinks Helene is beautiful. He mentions this over
and over again. He sounds like a man in lust not love.
Chris wants him to watch clips of the interview he just had with Helene.
Aaron watches with a stern face. He realizes it makes him look like a heel
but it doesn't change his feelings. It's over for him.
His version of the "bomb being dropped" is slightly different. He said they
had fun that weekend but he felt like he was just going through the motion.
He had already checked out of the relationship. The dame was done.
Chris shows him one more clip of Helene. Aaron is takes the offensive. He
says he's heard it all before. It may be new to you but it's old to me.
There is no remorse. It probably reminds him why he "checked out." He talks
about how pretty she still is and that he's sorry he can't be with her but
the relationship is over. There will be no sequel to this story. That's all,
folks.
Chris thanks Aaron and ends the interview.
So we go on to a happier story--"Trista and Ryan Tells All." Of course,
before we get to hear their love story, we have to watch the recaps once
again on their "romantic journey." At least we don't have to watch another
clip about how much she liked Charlie from the moment he stepped out of the
limo. Instead we finally get to see the chemistry between Ryan.
Trista and Ryan sit very, very close for the interview. They hold hands
tightly. Trista is beaming. Ryan looks ill at ease. Chris first wants to
know how the relationship is going.
Trista, the spokesperson for the couple, says "Perfect. We honestly did find
love on television."
Chris wants to hear it from Ryan. "Is this real?
"It is real. I'm the luckiest guy in the world."
"No. I'm the lucky one," Trista interrupts. They have this argument all the
time, she says. Isn't that special.
"So the engagement for real?"
Of course it is, Trista says. And she still has the $21,000 ring on her
finger to prove it. She definitely loves the ring. It is even possible that
there won't be a long engagement, not when she has the perfect man. She is
even considering setting a date. There will definitely be a wedding.
"And it will lead to happy ever after forever," says poetic, dreamer Ryan.
Chris wants to know about their different jobs and locations.
Ryan tells him that they're both open to change. Neither of them have a
problem with it this point. Chris points out that long distance is what
helped ruin the other bachelor couples' relationships. Trista was quick to
inform him that those other couples can't compare to their love. Theirs is
the real deal.
Chris wants to know when he fell in love. There must be a name for this
obsession of knowing the exact time things begin.
Before Ryan can answer him, Trista jumps in with "I know. I know." She has
to answer for him. It was that time when they were cuddling on the couch in
Vail. It's the same story we heard on the finale.
This helps lead Chris to talk about the dinner at Trista's folks. He rubs it
in about how much her family loved Charlie but Ryan is okay with it. After
all he got the girl. The family can keep Charlie.
Chris brings up Ryan asking for permission to marry Trista. Ryan explains
how he thought it was the right thing to do in case he was the one chosen.
Trista just thought it was so special that he had so much respect for her
and her father to do this.
It's time for a little drama. Chris has this big surprise for them. It's
Charlie.
In walks the man looking very carefree and happy. He hugs both Trista and
Ryan. Of course, Chris has to know how it felt to be rejected in front of
millions of people. Chris answers him with a speech he must have rehearsed
or said so many times now that it sounds rehearsed. He has moved on. He
admits he wasn't in love with Trista and in hindsight he could see that Ryan
was. If it was meant to be it would have been. That is his mantra. He was
heartbroken. Of course, he had feelings for her. But that was then, this is
now. He wishes them all the best.
He then begins to fudge a little. Well, maybe he was fudging before but I
have proof of this one. He said that after the hurt was gone he was just
glad Trista was going to be happy. If not with him, at least she would be
with Ryan. But I remember in an earlier show how he thought Ryan was so
beneath him and that if Trista wanted Ryan, he didn't want her. That is
forgotten now.
Chris turns it back on Ryan and ask him how uncomfortable is this meeting.
Sorry folks. No drama here. Ryan has nothing but love for Charlie. "And I
got the girl."
Trista has been ignored for too long here. Chris lets her apologize to
Charlie. She is so happy to have the spotlight again. She tells him she
knows how it felt. She was in his shoes too. Unfortunately we get to hear
again about their great connection. We didn't escape it after all. Again she
says she wished she could have split herself down the middle and give
herself to both men. But in the end, she went with the half that had the
heart and that was with Ryan.
Charlie tells her with a straight face that she and Ryan deserve each other.
I know he meant that.
Trista tells him he's going to be just fine.
And our soap opera ends with a happy ending. What, no fight scene between
the last two men? I forgot. That's the Jerry Springer Show.
