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Hot Zone 3. For those of you who a) don't remember it from two weeks ago or b) like me, were watching CSI at the time, we showed off eight prime ladies. Out of those eight, four of them were hot enough to make a Frappuccino sweat. Two of them will go on like the GameCube once Zelda hits stores. Two of them will head back to the shop like a burnt-out Xbox.

And your two are... Amber, the NFL cheerleader, and Renee, the nanny. Shoot. I'm one-and-three. But half of the fun is in the chase (the other half is the berating of said chase). And so the chase continues in...

HOT ZONE 4: The Southwest - the ladies...

Lady #1 - Brandy Leaver; 19; singer; Waimanalo, HI - Folks, this is what you call in America a "hard act to follow". Read on and find out that this sort of thing doesn't work in a text-based medium. She tries to let everyone know that her (^_^) are real.

RACHEL: Face: 8.9. Body: 9.8. Sex appeal: 9.8 ("You've got an amazing sex appeal, obviously!").
RANDOLPH: Face: 8.7. Body: 9.5. Sex appeal: 9.4
LORENZO: Face: 9.8. Body: 10 ("You've got a perfect body"). Sex appeal: 9.8.
Total: 28.5 + 27.6 + 29.6 = 85.7 points, the highest yet.

Lady #2 - Alana Morsehead; 19; student; Valencia, CA - Sadly, they all can't be California girls. Time to see if the Beach Boys (or David Lee Roth, if you're into that sort of thing) is right on this one. She notes that her main flaw is her butt/thighs.

RANDOLPH: Face: 8.5. Body: 9. Sex appeal: 8.9 (the charisma of a statue)
RACHEL: Face: 8.7. Body: 8.9 ("really cute"). Sex appeal: 8.7.
LORENZO, who's coming onto the contestants... again: Face: 9. Body: 9.5. Sex appeal: 9.5.
Total: 26.4 + 26.3 + 28 = 80.7

Lady #3 - Brooke Peterson; 23; teacher; Dallas - She's got great eyes, but a horrible plucking affliction to kick.

RANDOLPH: Face: 9. Body: 8.2 (Randolph says she looks like a ballerina, to which she replies, "Thanks, Mr. Duke."). Sex appeal: 7.2.
RACHEL, who can smell her fear from a mile away: Face: 9.5. Body: 8. Sex appeal: 6.
LORENZO: Face: 9.7. Body: 8 ("I think your bathing suit is covering what it needs to uncover.) Sex appeal: 6.5.
Total: 24.4 + 23.5 + 24.2 = 72.1


Lady #4 - Rachel Reza; 19; sales representative; Reseda, CA - In a word... Row. Err, wow.
RACHEL, who likens Rachel's butt to a peacock: Face: 9.5. Body: 9.5 ("Very hourglass). Sex appeal: 9.8.
RANDOLPH: "I don't know where to begin, but I definitely know where to start. Could you turn around?" Face: 9.1. Body: 9.6. Sex appeal: 9.5.
LORENZO: Face: 9.5. Body: 9.8 ("You've got a 34-21-35?" Sort of. "Well, that's the combination to MY heart"). Sex appeal: 10.
Total: 28.8 + 28.2 + 29.3 = 86.3; the new high mark.

Lady #5 - Jessica Hatch; 20; student; Riverside, CA - This is your stereotypical Cali-beach babe here. Let's see if the judges agree.

RACHEL: Face: 8.5 ("The mole is distracting, at least for me.") Body: 8.9 appeal: 9.
RANDOLPH: Face: 8.9. Body: 9. Sex appeal: 9.2.
LORENZO: Face: 9.5. Sex appeal: 9.8. Body: 9.5 ("Just want to remind everyone at home why they're tuning in.")
Total: 26.4 + 27.1 + 28.8 = 82.3

And we at GSNN would like to remind you that the Mole will return for another celebrity series soon.

Lady #6 - Sheree English; 21; aspiring model; Los Angeles - very well built, looks like she spends her days kickboxing.

RANDOLPH, who likes 'little spins': Face: 9. Body: 9.2. Sex appeal: 9
RACHEL: Face: 9.8. Body: 9.9. Sex appeal: 9 ("Immediately drawn to your eyes.")
LORENZO: Face: 9.5. Body: 9.8. Sex appeal: 9.5
Total: 27.2 + 28.7 + 28.8 = 84.7

Lady #7 - Crystal Mattison; 26; aspiring actress; Escondido, CA - Last week, there was a hip issue. This week, we have a chest issue.

RACHEL: Face: 9.9 ("amazing"). Body: 9.9, after a rather long look at her bottom. Sex appeal: 9.9.
RANDOLPH: Face: 10. Body: 9.5. Sex appeal: 9.8 ("Fabulous").
LORENZO: Body: 9.5. Face: 9.8. Sex appeal: 9.8.

Total: 29.7 + 29.3 + 29.1 = 88.1, the NEW new high mark.

Lady #8 - Mary Babbitt; 22; radiology technician; Los Angeles - She has pouty lips and she's last. Not much else need be said.

RANDOLPH: Face: 8.5. Body: 8.2. Sex appeal: 8.9.
RACHEL: Face: 8.5, after jumping on her case about her eyebrows. Body: 8.9. Face: 9.
LORENZO: Face: 9.5. Body: 8.5 after the Flaw Finder test, which he hasn't used up until this point. Sex appeal: 9.5.
Total: 25.8 + 26.4 + 27.5 = 79.7

And that's it. For those keeping score at home, Randolph looked at four butts, Rachel commented on two pairs of eyebrows, and Lorenzo came on to six of the eight players. But the adage is true: they saved the best for last, as Crystal, Rachel, Brandy, and Sheree move onto the public vote. Barring any more developments that require special reports, count on the results to be tallied and delivered on the finale next week. I think the final woman standing will come from this group, and I think it'll be either Crystal or Rachel, my picks for this hot zone.

But don't bet the farm on this. I wouldn't want to be responsible for any losses... I'd just feel bad about it afterwards.