OFFICIAL WEBSITE & OFFICIAL PROFILES

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We will start off by wrapping up last week - Jonathan (from My Alma Mater) and Ken (Asian) was not hot enough, so Travis (Mr High Score) and Kevin (Bad Teeth) move on. Those are you're Northeasterners - we will now meet the Southeasterners this week.

And we do get to meet the 8 male qualifiers after the traditional parade of meat. Memorable non-qualifier quote of the week? 'My dream is gone.' from loser Rob. That's pretty sad if that's your dream.

But enough about him - we are up to the 8 guys for this week.

Guy #1 - A 26 year old Sales Manager from Stone Mountain Georgia, John Buchanan. He's very waifish and he has a receding hairline.
Randolph apparently is not attracted - Face - 5.1 (We are doing the sexiest man in America - let's get tough) Body - 5 (You're pretty thin) Sex Appeal - 4.9
Rachel - Face - 4.9, Body - 7, Sex Appeal - 2
Lorenzo - Face - 6.7, Body - 7, Sex Appeal - 6
Total - 15 + 13.9 + 19.7 = 48.6 Points. OUCH.

Guy #2 - A 26 year old student from Atlanta, Georgia, Ryan Hires. Very developed, and a big hit with the ladies. Randolph - (Let's make this quick, there's not a lot to critique here) Face - 9.5 , Body 9.5, Sex Appeal - 9
Lorenzo - Face - 9.2, Body - 10, Sex Appeal (I like the sweetness that's coming out behind those eyes) - 9.5
Rachel - Face - 9, Body - 9.5, Sex Appeal - 9.8
Total - 28 + 28.7 + 28.3 = 85 points

Guy #3 - A 31 year old clinical exercise specialist, from St Petersburg Florida, Troy Taylor. He's an African American with bright blonde hair, which may be like that to also cover a receding hairline.'I want to bring the house down, definitely.'
Randolph - The bathing suit is way too bright - and so is your hair. Face - 6.5, Body - 9.9, Sex Appeal - 8
Rachel - (The hair really distracts everything else you have up there) Face - 6, Body - 9.5, Sex Appeal - 6
Lorenzo - Face - 8.5, Body - 9.9, Sex Appeal - 9
Total - 24.4 + 21.5 + 27.4 = 73.3 points

Guy #4 - A 29 year old bartender from Miami, Florida, Luciano Costa. 'I'm broke, and I need the money.' well, there are other things that you can do for that - like see most of the people on the street after the show...
Lorenzo - Face - 9.2, Body - 9.3, Sex Appeal - 9
Rachel - Face - 8.5, Body - 8.5, Sex Appeal - 9
Randolph - 'What do you have under those trunks?' Luciano turns around and pulls down his trunks to reveal a G-String and a 'Too Hot!' caption covering his fanny. 'It looks like Randolph is now changing his scores' says the host, and it looks like he is. Face - 9.5, Body - 'With a butt like that, you got a 9.9', Sex Appeal - 9.5. Note to Luciano : All you have to do is go to Randolph's dressing room after the show and your financial problems may be solved.
Total - 27.5 + 26 + 28.9 = 82.4 points

Guy #5 - A 29 year old engineering manager from Georgia, John King. Damn, he's chiseled - from the top, anyways. The legs are scrawny.
Lorenzo - Face - 8.5, Body - 9.5, Sex Appeal - 8.5
Rachel - Face - 7, Body - 9, Sex Appeal - 7
Randolph - 'You've a very brave man to be wearing a Speedo - we have not seen one yet.' Rachel - 'You've been wanting one.' OUCH. That gets a death stare from Randolph and more snickers from Chico. Face - 6.5, Body - 9.9, Sex Appeal - 7.9. The audience's favorite does not get the favorite scores, and the judges get booed.
Total - 26.5 + 23 + 24.3 = 73.8 points

Guy #6 - An 18 year old Club Promoter from Westin, Florida, Kevin Peete. Randolph - Cool it on the pecs, they're definitely done. Face - 8.9 Body - 8.5 - The hooters are just too big Sex Appeal - 8.7
Rachel - Face - There's just something going on with the hair that could be shorter - Face - 8.5, Body - 8.9, Sex Appeal - 8.9
Lorenzo - You are so calm and confident for your age, it's blowing my mind. Face - 9.5, Body - 9.5, Sex Appeal - 9.5. Total - 26.1 + 26.3 + 28.5 = 80.9 points

Guy #7 - A 29 year old Marketing Consultant from Atlanta, Georgia, Jameel. We don't get a last name, and his body is not nearly as defined as the other contestants.
Lorenzo - Face - 9.5, Body - 8.5, Sex Appeal - 9
Rachel - I think you've got a really cool look, a really sexy look. Face - 9.5, Body - 9.5, Sex appeal - 9.7
Randolph - A little mystery goes a long way - Face - 8.5, Body - 8.1, Sex Appeal - 9
Total - 27 + 28.7 + 25.6 = 81.3 points

Guy #8 - A 34 year old photographer from Miami, Florida - Rick Velour. The ladies seem to make him the second favorite.
Lorenzo - You got it all going on, man - Face - 9, Body - 8.5, Sex Appeal - 9
Rachel - Face - 9, Body - 9, Sex Appeal - 9.7
Randolph - You have a kind of mystery about you that is very sexy...and there is a nice thing about not knowing what's underneath your shorts. Face - 8.9, Body - 8.1, Sex Appeal - 9
Total - 26.5 + 27.7 + 26 = 80.2 points.

According to my math, Ryan, Luciano, Jameel and Kevin get in, which means that the 2 African-Americans that the ladies loved stay out. Racism! None of the African-Americans from last week get in, and only one of them get in this week. Could this be a beginning of a very disturbing trend? We'll find out in a week or so...