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This show has already gone through it's share of controversy with us writers - and it was before the start of the season. This was originally supposed to be a starting joint effort for the new people - Ryan Vickers and Jennifer Campbell. This would be their first cooperative effort, and I figured that it would be a fun way for them to enjoy a silly show.

It's funny how the best laid plans sometimes go horrifically awry.

Ryan, who was offended by the concept of the show (and I expect that many more people than Ryan were) asked to be let off from covering the show. I had no problem with that, since 1. I don't want anyone covering something that they are not happy with, and 2. That means that I get to ogle the girls =).

Or at least I thought that was going to happen, until I got this from Jennifer -

I watched Hot or Not. Help me, I'm intelligent, let me off this crappy tv show. Please. This is not worth space reviewing. If you insist I will try but it is one of the dumbest things I have seen. I can critique it instead of recap it but it's a waste of time to watch.

First, Lamas as a judge? Why? Because he's bedded so many women? It's a direct copy of American Idol but there the judges do have some credentials. I know Paula Abdul (in Idol) is questionable but she has been in the music industry. There is no criteria for sex appeal? If this was a super model contest I could almost buy it but with someone else as a judge. I got sick looking at the leers on Lamas' face. Also, since they divide the contest by sexes, there should be equal representation of sexes on the panel. I don't know if (Randolph) Duke is gay but is he supposed to represent both sexes?

So after one episode, I lose both of my writers. I can't say that I blame them - I saw this show and it is, for lack of a better word, grotesque. But it is a reality show and the show has to be covered. My good old buddy Chico volunteered to cover the show - but only if he covers the women. I am forced to agree, and I get stuck covering the guys. The things that I do for my gaming fans.

There are four 'Hot Zones'. Each zone is representing a part of the United States. We start with 8 guys and 8 women - and the judges will narrow it down to 4 guys and 4 women. After the show, you the public, will vote for the hottest man and woman left, and those people will face off against the other Hot Zone winners in the finals.

One of the 'Expert' Judges is indeed the aforementioned Lorenzo Lamas. Joining him as the Paul Abdul clone is international cover model Rachel Hunter. The third member in the group is master Fashion Designer Randolph Duke. Huh? I may have to agree with Jennifer in terms of someone who covers both sexes.

But let's go back to actually covering the show. We start this off by the 'parade of meat' - people are walking out and the judges decide if they are 'Hot' or' Not'. The audience cheers or boos, depending on who they like. The three judges decide if you are hot or not. If you are hot, you get to continue - if you are not, then you go home. This is about as ego destroying as it gets.

After the original cut off, we are going to see the people in their bathing suits. But not before we see testimonials of the people deemed not hot, or the 'Hot/Not Casualty.'

This comes from George. 'I was working out, spending all that time in the gym for nothing, just to get to this...Im going to have to pick my pride off the floor, suck it in a little bit and go home.' He was tearing when he said this.

So was Bettina. 'I know I'm hot...all the guys love me and that's the only thing that matters.' She is wiping her eyes with a tissue. This is utterly pathetic.

Next round - we get to see 8 men and women. They will be judged on face, body and sex appeal. The four highest ranking guys and girls advance to the internet voting part of the competition. Chico will be covering the women, while I will be covering the guys.

The first guy that comes out is Sean Cassidy, a 21 year old student from Philadelphia. He is very chiseled on the top - perhaps too chiseled.
Lorenzo -Face - 8.9, Body 8.7 (you could do a few less bench presses, Sex Appeal - 7.5
Rachel - Face - 9, Body - 5, (Too ape/gorilla looking), Sex Appeal - 7
Randolph - Face - 8.5, Body 7.5 (The skinny legs don't fit the body), Sex Appeal - 6.
Total = 24.9 + 21 + 22 = 67.9 points.

The second guy is a 22 year old student from Indiana - Jermaine Johnson. He is African American, and also like Sean, has a very chiseled upper body while almost paying no attention to the legs, to the border of negligence.
Randolph - The legs are a little skinny for the upper body Face - 7.5, Body - 8.5, Sex Appeal - 7.5
Rachel - Face - 8.5, Body (He's got chicken legs but I bet he can work them out) - 8, Sex Appeal - 7
Lorenzo - Face - 9, Body - 9.5, Sex Appeal - 8.5
Total = 23.5 + 23.5 + 28 = 75 points

Guy #3 - Jonathan Webber - a 25 year old personal trainer from Westwood, New Jersey. He has the same name as a player who played for the College of New Jersey's basketball team - I wonder if he's the same person. Why would I care? Because The College of New Jersey is my Alma Mater (Go Lions!)
Lorenzo - Body - 10, Face - 9.8, Sex Appeal - 9.5
Rachel - Face - 9.5, Body - 9.8, Sex Appeal - 9.5
Randolph - Face - 8.5, Body - 9.5, Sex Appeal - 9
Total = 29.3 + 28.8 + 27 = 85.1 points

Guy #4 - An 18 year old landscaper from Minnesota, Bobby Blanksy. He's built, but waifish compared to the other 3 guys.
Lorenzo - Body - 8 (The attitude needs to improve...You need to come out here and own the stage for the sex appeal), Sex Appeal - 7, Face - 9
Randolph - Body - 8, Face - 7.5 (the smile draws the attention from the tapping feet) Sex Appeal - 5
Rachel - Face - 9, Body - 9.5, Sex Appeal (Bobby tries to be cutesy with Rachel - 'Rachel, I hear you don't like pretty faces - how do you handle your own?' It doesn't work 'I'll try to be lady-like...') - 2. Bobby gets booed off of the stage.
Total = 24 + 20.5 + 20.5 = 65 points

Guy #5 - A 23 year old consultant from Chicago Illinois, Ken Kim. He is Asian with a surfer build and a slanted new wave hair cut.
Lorenzo - (The hair is bothering me...you have a great smile - don't let the hair cover it up) Face - 9.1, Body - 9.8, Sex Appeal - 9
Rachel - Face - 9, Body - 9.9, Sex Appeal - 7.5
Randolph - (Let the hair come down on your face a bit...I love the look of the hair) Face - 8.5, Body - 8.5, Sex Appeal - 7.0
Total - 27.9 + 26.4 + 24 = 78.3 points

Guy #6 - A 24 year old substitute teacher from Chicago - Roderick McClay. Roderick has a 70's style afro, with a cut off t-short and shorts with a teddy bear in the pocket. He eventually will rip the t-shirt off, but comparing the body to the physiques of the other contestants, he may have been better off keeping it on. The audience wants to boo him off the stage, Roderick is asking the judges to give him a chance.
Randolph - (You got a great face...it's an average body) Face - 8.5, Body - 7, Sex Appeal - (I'm going to take off some points for the over-attitude - the teddy bear's got to go) Sex Appeal - 7
Rachel - (I love your hair - its' really crazy and cool) Face - 8, Body - 8, Sex Appeal - 7
Lorenzo - Face - 9, Body - 9.3, Sex Appeal - 9.5
Total - 22.5 + 23 + 27.8 = 73.3 points

Guy #7 - A 22 year old aspiring model from Rahway New Jersey, Travis Bowie. Travis looks like he's the most well-rounded, in terms of the body.
Rachel - Body - 9, Face - 8.5, Sex Appeal - 8 (Then Travis wiggles his booty at Rachel and she gives him a 9)
Lorenzo - Body - 10, Face - 9.5, Sex Appeal - 9
Randolph - Face - 10, Body - 9.9, Sex Appeal - 9
Total - 26.5 + 28.5 + 28.9 = 83.9 points

Guy #8 - A 24 year old design engineer from Illinois, Kevin Bessel. A bit too much poundage, and he has teeth that look like Frankenstein's. Randolph (You have a good face - you need to get your teeth fixed) Face - 8, Body - 9, Sex Appeal - 7
Rachel - Face - 8, Body - 8.9, Sex Appeal - 7
Lorenzo - Body - 9.5, Face - 9.5, Sex Appeal - 8.5
Total - 24 + 23.9 + 27.5 = 75.5 points

According to my math, the 4 guys that should be moving on are Jonathan (Possible CNJ Alumni), Travis (Booty Bouncer), Ken (Asian Surfer), and Kevin (Bad Teeth Boy) by a slight margin over Jermaine. And I'm right. We'll see if Kevin gets a shot to fix his teeth for the semifinals, but I'm guessing either Jonathan and Travis will advance.

My take? This show is a 'Plan 9 From Outer Space' show; it is so horrifically bad that it is almost compelling to watch. This has traces of the $1.98 Beauty Show - but the problem here is that they take themselves much too seriously.

Would the American Public watch this? I have no clue on this one. This is horrible, but I am sure it would attract people who would not be part of the CSI crowd and I could see this being a cult show for the college crowd - and that's definitely the target that ABC is going after. So time will tell on this one - but me and Chico will be covering this for you so you can know what happens without having to admit that you are a fan of this.