THE RECAPS
STORMSEEKER.COM RECAPS! Reality editor Gordon Pepper provides recaps of each show.

Episode 11
Well, since we are in the Triple Crown country, it's time to rate the horses...

Tara and Wil: From an intelligence perspective, they've played the game the best, but from from a teamwork perspective, it's around as close to scrappie as possible. They can win if they stay focused - which is not a given.

The Bouncers: Ceratinly, the best team, physically, and the teamwork is vastly better than Tara and Wil's, but they're rash play almost cost them a spot in the finals. They must use their collective brainpower if they are to win the whole thing.

The Siblings: They have the best teamwork from the 2, and Paige's brain has more than once saved the team from certain disaster. But can she hold the team for one more week? And can she hold Blake in a 'Baltimore Quarterback (just don't do anything stupid with the football) mentality?

My predictions:
WIN: Wil and Tara (I predicted them from the start - you think I'm going to turn back now?)
PLACE: Siblings
SHOW: Bouncers

(Of course, now that I predicted this, if the opposite happens, it won't surprise me.)

So away we go....

Last time: We have a quick recap of the season, as eight teams fall by the wayside. The three teams left: the Bouncers are announced first (but in third), Wil and Tara announced second (but starting the final leg in first), and Blake and Paige announced third (but in second). Foreshadowing? Or do I get to read way too much into this?

We start at the Aircenter in New Zealand. There are 2 laps left. The first lap is jockeying for position. The last lap is for the money. There are no more Fast Forwards to be used, so no one gets any advantages. Tara and Wil leave at 1:03 am - and they to get to the tomb of Sir John Morgan Campbell - who is called the father of Auckland. The monument is on the top of One Tree Hill.  'Hopefully, we'll be able to at least get to the point where we can get along' says Wil, who has conceeded the marriahe.

Blake and Paige, who leave around 30 minutes later, think that they won't and are waiting to pick up the pieces of their combustion. But Wil and Tara get there first, and the next destination is the ruins of an old sugar mill in Hawaii. You get the feeling that since it's 2am, the great equalizer of the airport opening will come into play?

The bouncers get out of the gate at 3:56 am - and are desperately trying to make time up. They will make up the time, as WIl and Tara find out - all of the flights are closed for the night. Tara nerves are already shot as Wil takes the phone from her to schedule a flight - but he does get one at 7:30 am. Or so he thinks - the floights are sold out. Oops.

Blake and Paige try to get a re-router from Australia - and both the siblings and Wil and Tara are making plans next to each other once the store opens. Both teams are confident that they made the right trip - and as they turn around, they see a huge line behind them.

And that's a huge line that the Bouncers are not on, as they get out of the taxi and see the line. They unsuccessfully try to bribe to cut in front, but no one is buying their line of steaming monkey crap and to the back to the line they go.

Tara tries to console the bouncers, but Wil is having none Tara's line of steaming monkey crap  and he tells Tara as much. Tara goes over to the guys and says to them 'Wil told me not to speak to the little maggots.' Wil, of course, sees Tara fraternizing with the enemy, and accuses her of telling the guys the best flight to get to Maui. 'Im not here to make friends, I'm here to make lots of money'. They continue to squabble some more, and you get that feeling that if they win, the money will be in separate checks - mailed to seperate time zones.

The Bouncers finally get their tickets - and all three teams wind up on the same plane. Tara - specifically her neck - is fraternizing with the enemy, and as the bouncers are talking trash, WIl looks like he wants to throw the Bouncers off of the plane.  All 3 teams get to the taxi, and all 3 teams get to the ruins at around the same time. The next clue has them going to the Water Tower at a pineapple field. The teams have to drive themselves there, and at this route, the order is Team Disfunction, Bouncers, Siblings.  They all get there at the same time.

Detour - Either mountain bike to find the one red pineapple, or walk and find one of four yellow pineapples in the field. All of the teams decide to walk Tara, 'I suck at mountain biking dude'. But not at piggyback riding, as she gets on Wil's shoulders, and in a minute, they find a yellow pineapple. The bouncers are next, with the siblings right behind, and everyone has to go to the Dock at McGregor Point - then take a boat to the ruins of Malakini Island. Lots of ruins to go to on this leg, but so far no team has been ruined. (Hyuk, hyuk hyuk)

All 3 teams do some boating to the ruins. Wil and Tara get to it first - and it's Sink or Swim' - one of the people have to go underwater and retrieve a clue in an underwater crate. Alex finds the crate first, as Tara sees that and directs Wil to the crate. 'I know Alex is going to beat that sissy Wil' says Chris, but neither team can get the crate out of the water, which gives Blake the chance to catch up.

After some struggling by all three teams, Blake gets the clue first, followed by Chris, and Wil, who started the Detour in first, is now in last. Wil is still struggling to open up the crate as the other 2 teams take off and Tara is letting him have it. Wil 'I'm trying my best' Tara, 'It's not good enough, as usual'. Ouch.

Huialoah Church is the Pit Stop for this lap of the leg, and the other 2 teams, who once they got on shore get to drive there, are well on their way, Good thing that it's not an elimination lap, Wil.  'Rip it off, Wil! Everyone ripped it off!' Idiot.' Wil finally gets the clue a good ten minutes after everyone else.

The siblings are in their SUV first, followed by the Bouncers and Team Dysfunction 2002. Wil wants to hear an apology - he ain't getting it. But he's getting help from both the siblings and the bouncers, who both get lost in trying to find where it is. The Bouncers once again get lost, and they need to get help from the local natives, who seem to get them even more lost.

Inexplicably, the Bouncers actually listened to the guys - and are stuck in a land of grass and volcanoes. They stop to watch the scenery and decide to rough it. 'Man, what are we thinking?' They do find some road - but not before being far behind the other teams.

Even more inexplicably, Wil and Tara get back into second - but Blake and Paige come in first by 15 seconds and they win the bonus trip - this one to London Paris. Tara and WIl come in second, while the Bouncers are in third by over an hour.  'Eliminate us, dude! Eliminate us!, but Chris and Alex stay in the race.  Becuase of a pesky production bug, Tara and Wil get credited for a minute, and they also get the vacation to London and Paris (awwwwww).

It is the final lap of the race - and the teams get an additional $1 for this lap. Wow. The first clue takes them to Hana Bay, where they have to do some climbing - and then go to Anchorage, Alaska and find Rust's Flying Service. Wil and Tara and the Siblings get to everything before the Bouncers, who are behind by around 90 minutes.

Wil and Tara stay at a hotel and try to find flights from there. Blake and Paige go to the airport and attempt to find a flight there.  The Bouncers also get to the airport at around 6am, and the closed airports once again has everyone neck and neck.

The Bouncers go on the safe (yet long) flight, while Tara and Wil and the Siblings are looking for the next flight - and Tara is looking for the next clue. They seemed to have lost the clue, and now they are asking the other 2 teams. Both Blake and Paige decide not to give Tara and Wil the clue, and Wil's nastiness to the other teams finally comes back to bite him in the ass.  Wil went to go to the Bouncers - and any sort of alliance has gone bye bye. 'You wouldn't help us in this sort of situation, so we're not going to help you'. 

Wil, of course, chews Tara out. 'You're so-called friends just dicked you.' 'They didn't dick me, they dicked you' Unless Wil thinks of something, Wil and Tara's chance to win the race has gone bye-bye, and Wil has just committed the million dollar dumb-ass move of the episode.

Wi goes back to plead with Blake, and Blake doesn't buy WIl's steaming line of monkey crap. 'You said 'I will never help you' Why in the world would I help you if you said that to me?' Wil is going to have to follow them to have any chance to win the race.  The good news, is that he will have an opportunity to do so, as they are on the same plane to Anchorage.

Wil is trying to get a book on Alaska. The teams create a false clue for Tara and Wil - 'Go take a plane to Siberia and go to the most desolate place you can find'. Meanwhile, Tara is looking for a clue - and somehow remembers that Rusts Airlines is the place where the next clue is.  Wil tells Tara that she's the best...uh...why not all the time, Wil, since she is the single reason why you're still in this? Wil, being a jerk, tells the other 2 teams, who think that it's a ploy for them to follow.

Both Tara and Wil and the Bouncers get to Anchorage 10 minutes earlier than Blake and Paige, and Tara and Wil get there first, much to the shock of the Bouncers. Chris and Alex get in the plane first, and because Wil and Tara don't have the clue, they have to follow Chris and Alex to Trapper Creek. The teams get to spend a night in an igloo and follow a trail the next morning to the next clue. 'It feels good to have this in our hands again.' says Wil. 'We have clues but we're not clueless.' 'Some of us are clueless, but we have clues...WIl, you're such a jerk. You have the social skills of a gnat. You treat everyone like dirt and you expect to be nice...I'd rather not win the race to that you won't get a penny...I've gotten you to every Pit Stop along the way.' 

Tara couldn't possibly purposely throw the race....could she? Would she? WIl's reaction?  smirk and 'Tomorrow's another day.' Dude, if it wasn't for Tara, you'd be stuck somewhere in Anchorage, and you'd better worry about a mutiny from Tara. Could Tara be so bent on this relationship thing that she would throw away  $1,000,000? That seems to be the storyline right now - WIl
and Tara's biggest enemy seems to be each other...

The night in the igloos once again acts as the great equalizer as they all get to the next clue - drive a Snow Cat (a snow tractor) across a frozen lake to the next clue. Tara and Wil drop into last, and here goes WIl's mouth again, ' You're roly poly out of shape friends are We would have been up by 15 minutes if you werent so stupid.'  The next clue has the teams driving 50 miles to Homesteader's in Big Lake.

The Bouncers get there first and have to go to Hurricane Gulch - they first have to grab a bag of tools gotten at Homesteader's. Wil apologizes to Tara - sort of.  'I apologize for yelling at you but I wanted to show you how it feels to be yelled at - it doesn't feel so good, does it?' Uhhh...teaching Tara a lesson at THIS point in the race, Wil?  They do, however, overtake the siblings, who are now in last.

Roadblock time - one of the teammates have to use the tools to free the clue, which has been frozen in ice. San Francisco City Landmark #97 is where the next clue is - and that's the final city of the race. The teams need to get to Oakland, then go to San Francisco. The Bouncers get the clue to go to San Francisco first, and gain time over Tara and Wil, who are squabbling over the frozen clue. But Paige looks at the squabbling differently. 'I've seen Tara yell at Wil - I don't think she's much better than him'.

The Siblings catch up to Tara and Wil and overpass them - but not by much as Wil gets the clue right afterwards. 'I was born and raised - fourth generation - that's my city.' New York was Frank and Margarita's city - and we all know what happened last season...

Back to the plane - and back to the plane equalizer. But which airport do you go - Fairbanks or Anchorage? Anchorage has the bigger airport - which means more flights - but Fairbanks is the closer of the 2 airports.  In the words of Chris, 'This is the decision that will make or break us'. Truer words were never spoken - but for whom?

The Bouncers go to Fairbanks International Airport - and get a 1am flight. Tara and Wil and Blake and Paige both go to Anchorage - and they are within 30 feet of each other. They get a flight to get to Oakland at 9am. Wil thinks that it's just between 2 teams, but the Bouncers are already on their way - and they all meet up in Portland, where Tara once again fraternizes with the Bouncers, which pisses Wil off - again -  for the 18,658th time.  

So it's down to the last flight - and one last adventure. Wil is already saying about how San Francisco is his town - we'll see if it is, or if he is following in the footsteps of Frank, who thought New York was his town but let the money slip through his fingers. Oakland is definately not Wil's towm, as Wil gets into a fight with the Taxi Controller. 'We're on a race for a million dollars.' Taxi Controller - 'I'm not getting it' and neither are Tara and Wil, of they can't get a cab. The siblings get the first cab, followed by the Bouncers and Tara and Wil.

Unlike Frank's driver, Tara's taxi driver is 'hauling ass' and is making time, as Wil knows exactly where the monument is. But its not enough time for Chris and Alex, who get there first - they have to find Municipal Pier on the harbor, Tara and Wil and Blake and Paige get to the monument at the same time - and Wil knows where it is. The other 2 teams are asking directions to find it, but Tara and Wil get there first - and the final exit is Fort Baker - at Baker Beach - and Wil knows where it is. Wil, for once, may actually have the key to doing something right.

The Bouncers get there next, and tara and Wil are desperately looking for a Taxi. The Bouncers are getting directions from a police officer when Blake and Paige get there. Its a race to find a taxi - and the Boucners get one first - right at the spot where Wil and Tara were waiting for one. This turns out to be the million dollar dumb-ass move of the episode for Wil, who was inside when the Taxi showed up. Tara and Wil get one right after the Bouncers, but the Bouncers are smart enough to follow Wil, who knows where everything in the city is. The Siblings are still looking for a Taxi, so this is a 2 team race.

The Bouncer's taxi is following Wil and Tara  - and they know that they can't beat the Bouncers in a foot race. Blake and Paige finally get a taxi. Tara and Wil are squabbling in the Taxi, 'Why can't you get some confidence? Run your ass out run your heart out...who's quitting now?' For once, we have a role-reversal. Wil and Tara do a desperate ploy - stopping the taxi and start to run out, and then take another path - and they fake Chris and Alex out, as they get to Fort Point, not Fort Baker - and they do lose Chris and Alex, who now have to go get directions.

But they don't fake them out completely, and it costs them a million dollars. Wil and Tara get there with a half a mile to spare on the final run, but it's not enough. The Bouncers, the most athletic team in the leg, make the million dollar push of the episode, and they pass first Tara, then Wil, on the final run. The Bouncers pass Wil and Tara with 50 feet left to go and they win the race.

Wil and Tara are still squabbling after the finish, but they make up - sort of. Blake and Paige come in third place.  'I guess second place isn't that bad' laments Wil 'I gave it my all...but it's over...I have to see things a different way. It's probably better if we (Tara and Wil) remain friends.'  Tara -'I dont feel ashamed at all about how I ran the race  - I don't think I could have run it any better.'

And for the winner? 'It's emotional, it's physical, it's a year's of travel in a month First you want to bang your head against the wall, next minute youre clapping your hands and celebrating. There's no other way to describe the race but amazing.' All the teams celebrate, then fade out. End of show.

My take - this series was much better than the first version, with more likeable teams. I can't wait to see the third season. I hope you can't either. Thanks for reading the recaps.

Episode 10
Lots of questions to be answered - Will Tara and Wil be able to act as a cohesive unit? Can a team hold on to a Fast Forward and wait until the final round to use it? If that was to happen, wouldn't that be an incredibly anti-climactic episode? Will the Bouncers keep their alliance with the bickering couple? Will Danny and Oswald find love within each other? Will Blake and Paige last an entire episode without pissing anyone off? And most important....will Jason give me a raise for writing these columns??? (Well,
no, that isn't the question, but it's sort of cute to squeak that in - tee hee hee).  (Jason note:  Let me think about that one.  I'll get back to you.) The real question is who will be the final three teams left in the Amazing Race?

We'll find this out momentarily as we start this leg at the Inverary Sheep Station in Australia. Wil and Tara do have a Fast Forward - and they can use it now or save it for the last leg.  But it's Blake and Paige that start first - and they have to go to the Arts and Crafts Institute in Mallory. The teams have to go to Picton first and get a ferry that leaves at 11:30 am. If you miss that, then you have to wait for the next one - 2 hours later.

Wil and Tara leave the sheep station, and the bickering continues. 'This is a stressful race - but so is our everyday lives' says Wil, who wants to stuff Tara in the trunk of the Motor Home that they are riding in. 'Being stuck in this race with Wil is driving me crazy' retorts Tara, and it looks like any relationship there is going to get run over.

The Bouncers go next, and Danny and Oswald leave an hour after everyone else, but since the first ferry doesn't leave until 11:30, that gives everyone time to catch up. But Tara and Wil's relationship is stalling - or in neutral, which is how Wil is driving the Car.  They get it back together and drive back to Picton. Wil apologizes to Tara (finally)....but she is asleep when he does it and winds up apologizing to the camera. You are all heart, Wil.

'This is the make or break point of the trip for us' says Chris and Alex, who along with the siblings, make the 11:30 ferry. Blake and Paige get a special tag to be the first let off of the ferry when it arrives.  Wil and Tara come in third, 'How did they beat us?' 'Because we got lost, Wil'. 'I didn't come here to make friends, I came here to make money and to win the race' exclaims WIl, who looks like he is losing his sanity along with the race.

Blake and Paige get on with the magic tag, but Wil and Tara weasel in by saying that they are all going in together and they blow past by the siblings, who call Wil and Tara a bunch of 'jackasses'.

Them, the siblings, and the bouncers all get onto the ferry, but Danny and Oswald don't. Their whole strategy was to take their sweet time and to hang out and not panic. By doing that, they miss the 11:30 ferry and are now a legitimate 2 hours behind everyone else. And since they already used the Fast Forward, unless some team makes a Dumb-Ass move of the episode, Danny and Oswald can now be called Team Afterthought.

Wil starts to bitch to the Bouncers about Tara, which pisses off both Tara and the Bouncers. 'If I was Tara's boyfriend, I'd punch him out' says Alex, who Tara winds up spending more time with than Wil. This is Tara's comfort zone, and you get that feeling that Tara and Alex may be an item when this thing is done.

All 3 teams are in Wellington, and they have to go to a village in Rotorura, which is inhabited by a Maori Tribe. Wil tries to suck it up with Tara, but she's having none of that. And none of the teams are having any of the Arts and Crafts institute, which does not open until 7am the next day. This gives Danny and Oswald new life and a chance to play catch-up, which they do, so all of the teams are all bunched up again.

And at the 7:00 horn (blown by the Maori tribe), the place opens, and all of the teams go in, where they are all stopped by the villagers, and after a ritual, they go to the next clue - go to The Lost World, which is in Waltomo cave. Teams have to take a 100 mile drive, and Tara and Wil, fearing elimination, decide to use the Fast Forward - which is a trip to Mt. Tarawara and a 'Scree Run', which is a sprint run down a volcano.

The other three teams continue on their path, with Blake and Paige in the lead of the three team clump. The Bouncers get lost, and Danny and Oswald take advantage, and move into third, with the Bouncers in the perilously last position.

Despite WIl driving 'Wil is driving - we are in trouble' Tara and WIl get to the volcano - and see that they have to make a run through volcanic rock. 'Oh My God!' screams Tara, as she realizes what exactly they have gotten themselves into. 'I knew that if we took it now, we would be set uo for the end' exclaims Wil. Actually, you would be set up if you held it, so you'd know where the final lap is, but I digress. Tara and Wil complete the run, and go to the Pit Stop - the Warbirds Hangar in South Auckland.

Blake and Paige get to Waltomo Cave first, followed by Team Cha-Cha-Cha and the Bouncers. The teams have to get on gear and do a little spellunking.  

Detour time:
Drop - Descend into the Lost World Cave - its a 350 foot descent, but when you drop down, you will be very close to the clue.
Climb - Climb down a ladder for 100 feet, then walk the rest of the way, which will take a lot longer.

The siblings and the Bouncers both decide to repel. The Gay Friends also decide to 'drop'. The next clue has all of the teams having to go to '4 Track Adventures'. Coming out of the cave,  the siblings come out first, the Bouncers overtake Danny and Oswald (whose fear of heights royally bites him in the ass here) to move into second. Oswald propels team Cha-Cha-Cha into
last.

Meanwhile, we have more love moments with Tara and Wil:

Wil 'I want to fill up my hat with money. What do you want to fill up?'
Tara  'I want to fill your mouth with a sock so you can shut the Hell up'.

But, they do get to Auckland first, and by doing that, they win a vacation to Los Cabos, New Mexico. But do you really think that they want to make it together? 'This race confirms to me at Wil and I are different people' , says Tara. Wil agrees, 'I thought that there was some sort of inkling that me and Tara would get back together again. Now I've decided that it's time for me to
move on.'  You think, Wil? 

And its off to 4 Track Adventures - well for the Siblings and Team Cha-Cha-Cha. But for the second time this episode, the Bouncers get lost with the maps, and this time, there is no Danny and Oswald to save them. But they get saved by Oswald and Danny, who also get lost and get to the 4 Track after the Bouncers.

The siblings get to the 4 Track - and hit a Road Block - which only one person can do, The person has to take an ATV ride to the beach, get the next clue, and drive it back to their partner. Paige goes first and the bouncers get there 5 minutes afterwards, who are followed 5 minutes later by Danny and Oswald.

(Jason note:  Speaking of Road Block...to answer your earlier question...no, G.)

Paige gets the clue first - go to the Warbirds Hangar.  Oswald, who's been the goat of the episode, cements that status by pulling the dumb-ass move of the episode and getting his ATV stuck, and that's all the time that is needed for the other 2 teams to get out of there while Danny is waiting for his partner.  Danny is trying to keep up the good fight, 'We're not out of it yet', but they are, as Blake and Paige comes in second. And another wrong turn by Danny and Oswald puts the Bouncers in third and makes Team
Cha-Cha-Cha team Bye-Bye-bye.

So its down to Bouncers, Siblings, and Disfunctional Couples, as all three teams talk smack about each other and in the words of the Bouncers, 'It's Hammer Time', or in this case, next week is Million Dollar Finals time. 

Episode 9
So here we are - with a potential non-elimination episode. So what's the point? We all know that no one gets eliminated, and the positions that they are going to be in will probably change come the end of next episode. So some teams are here, others are there, and no one gets eliminated, The end.



Well, since Jason's not going to let me leave the room with the 500 pound man that is currently eating a vat of baked beans in the corner until this report is finished, I guess I'll give you the recap. Thanks, Jay.  (Good move. I had an unlimited supply of beans at the ready...)

This year's Kevin and Drew (Gary and Dave) bit the big one last week, so we are down to four teams: the New double male team - though this time, instead of lawyers, they're bouncers (Chris/Alex), the New Team Dysfunction (Tara/WIl), the New Team Guido (Danny/Oswald) and the team that doesn't fit into any of last year's stereotypes, so they will probably be finishing in
fourth place (Blake/Paige). 

We start from where we finished last time - the Australian Outback. And at the Aboriginal Camp, the Bouncers, who took the Fast Forward last episode, go first and leave at 3:35 am. The first clue has the teams going to Queenstown, New Zealands. But first, they have to get there in an 18 Wheeler half trailers and park their 4 by 4 in one of the trailers, so that they don't run into any of the nasty wildlife. Paige and Blake leave at 5:01, Tara and Wil  at 5:05, and Oswals and Danny at 5:09.  Both the siblings and Tara and Wil have not used their Fast Forwards - which will take them to the Pit Stop without doing any of the challenges. Will either of them take advantage of the Fast Forward?

They don't so far, and the teams get to Glendambo, where the teams have to get either an 10:30 or 11:15 flight to Adelaide, which will get them a flight to Queenstown. The bouncers use the phones to call Adelaide - only to find that 1. No flight is going to Queenstown, and 2. While they are on the phone, the other teams catch up. That 90 minute lead that the bouncers had? Buh-bye.

Blake and Paige get directions to get to Adelaide, and Wil and Tara follow. Chris and Alex take their sweet time, since they don't think that any flights will be getting out today. Blake and Paige decide to ignore Chris and Alex and go to the airport. Wil and Tara follow them, but Wil is convinced that they are going the wrong way and him and Tara turn back to the gas station in Glendambo.

And while he is there, Wil continues to lose his will. He and Tara start to get into it at the gas station - again. Tara gets consoled by the bouncers as she whips Wil back into shape, and away they go to the air strip. Chris - 'Is Wil losing his marbles or what?'  Tara - 'Can I please have a new partner?'

Blake and Paige and Wil and Tara get a 2:05 flight, while the 2:45 flightees are the Bouncers and Team Cha-Cha-Cha. Unbeknownst to the teams, the Bouncers lied about the flight - there is one that is leaving that night. But unbeknownst to them, the rest of the teams get on that same flight.

After an extended stay in the airport, the teams convene - but Blake and Paige get on  the plane first because they lie when they say that they are not bringing any bags on with them - and blatantly bring their bags on board. This, will get them out of the plane first, since they don't have to check out their baggage, and this, of course, does not make any of the other teams happy, as the siblings jump from last to first. 'If they want us to get nasty in New Zealand, we'll get nasty in New Zealand' say the Bouncers.

The other three teams decide to even the score against the siblings. The plane lands in Queensland - and the other three teams, in the front of the plane, block Blake and Paige, who are in the back of the plane, from getting off until the rest of the teams get their luggage. So it's all even ground as the teams get to the next destination. - Wentworth Station.

Feeling slighted by the rest of the teams, Blake and Paige decide to go after the Fast Forward. In order to get the Fast Forward, the team has to find the flag on a boat ride down the Shotover river. The other three teams are on the way to the station, and Wil and Tara take the lead over the bouncers and team 'Cha-Cha-Cha' (Oswald/Danny). All 3 teams get to the station within 30
seconds of each other - and the instructions are to go to the Nevis Highwire Platform. This is the sight of the worlds greatest bungee jump (400 feet) - which doesn't make WIl, who's terrified of heights, a happy camper.

This leaves the siblings all alone on the quest for the Fast Forward  - and they get it. The Pit Stop is at the Inverary Sheep Station on the Canterbury Plains. Tara and Wil get to the Bungee Station first, followed by  the Bouncers and team Cha-Cha-Cha and. 2 teams can go at a time, so Danny and Oswald get to wait by the sidelines.

At the top of the jump - there is a detour - both people at the same time  have to Bungee Jump down for 400 feet, or hike all the way down, which, of course, will cost the team a bunch of time. Both teams decide to jump. Tara says don't look down, so, according to Wil, 'Of course I look down right away'.  Wil wants to turn around and hike. Tara wants to nail Wil with an electric cattle prod.

Tara does convince Wil to jump, and they do it - as Wil turns purple. 'I thought that he was going to throw up' says Oswald. The next clue - go to the Inverary Sheep Station.  Wil wants to try to get into Tara's graces, but Tara is not buying WIl's steaming line of monkey crap. 'Does that mean that we're back together?' 'No. Absolutely not.'

The Bouncers are next, and they jump. Danny wants to do this as much as Wil did. 'Ready to lose our lives?' Danny doesn't want to jump, but Oswald convinces him to. Meanwhile Tara, sick of Wil not knowing how to drive a four by four, takes over driving since she is tired of Wil screwing things up, and more squabbling ensues. Who is Al and who is Peg in this relationship?

'I screamed like a woman on the way down' says Danny, as he said that he wanted to go to mommy. Oswald convinces him to jump, by saying that he will get there quicker after they have been eliminated. They jump and make it, but they are in solid last place. The siblings get to the Pit Stop first - and they win a trip to Puerto Rico by doing so.

Tara and Wil get to the sheep station next - and they hit a Roadblock, where Wil says, 'Whatever the Roadblock is, I'm doing it. ' The person that gets the Roadblock has to corral three black sheep from the other 22 white sheep and get them into a small solitary pen. Wil is around as good at this as Pamela Anderson Lee is as good at keeping her clothes on.

But he is doing better than both Team Cha-Cha-Cha and the Bouncers are at directions. They both get lost and commit the co-dumb-ass moves of the episode. This paves the way for Wil and Tara to solidify second place, and since they are the only team that has not used their Fast Forward, they are a lock to be one of the final three teams.

Tara tells Wil to put all of the sheep in the small pen, and get rid of each white sheep one by one. Wil actually concedes to Tara, as he whispers 'You're right' under his breath, and they complete the stunt and take second place.

Chris and Alex stop for directions, while Oswald and Danny just drive around aimlessly. By the time Team Cha-Cha-Cha gets smart and asks for directions, the Bouncers are at the sheep station. They get it done very quickly with the exception of one stubborn white sheep. Chris becomes the sheep whisperer, but as Alex points out, 'the sheep can't hear you'. He does get the sheep in, and the bouncers finish in third.

Team Cha-Cha-Cha fail to fandango with the sheep. 'Come here little girl, or I'll kill you' says Danny, who has had a long tiring day jumping from heights and herding sheep. He does get the sheep alone in the cage, albeit cheating a little by letting the white one out of the other side of the cage, but who's counting? They're still coming in last. And as correctly pointed out in the top of the episode, this is a non-elimination lap, so all all four teams get to go on. 'We really have no clue how we've gotten this far' says Danny, and honestly, neither have I.

The only sure thing is that Wil and Tara, if they're not dumb and use the Fast Forward, will be in the final three. The question is which of two of the other three teams will join them.. 

Episode 8
So after watching a Survivor Episode which was mostly used to generate higher ratin...I mean to catch-up everyone as to what's going on, we have a Amazing Race which will be used to generate higher ratin...I mean have a 2 hour special episode. If you follow the pattern of the episodes from last season, this episode should be a non-elimination lap, but would they really have a 2 hour special if they didn't eliminate anyone at the end of it? Or could it be 2 episodes combined into one big one? Well, let's find out together...

Last week, Peach lost...well, her Peaches...as well as the rest of her lunch, as her and Mary throw themselvs up and out of the race. This leaves Gary and Dave (New York Geeks), Tara and Wil (estranged couple), Chris and Alex (bouncers), Danny and Oswald (gay friends) and Blake and Paige (siblings) left in the race.

The first clue for this leg is at the statue of Tien-Hou is Rifalse Bay. 'Our Fast-Forward lead has been destroyed by the luck of the clue.' That is has, since the park doesn't open until 8am - more than enough time for all of the teams to play catch-up. The Bouncers go next - and they wait for the first bus to leave to get to Rifalse Bay- at 6am.

Wil and Tara are next - and Wil starts to decompose. Wil wants to go to use the Fast Forward - which is in Po Lin Monsatery. You can only use one Fast Forward for the duration of the race, and WIl wants to use it now - but Tara told the Bouncers that they were going to use the Fast Forward, and since Wil knows this, he second guesses Tara and they decide to turn around and not use it, thinking that the Bouncers have already used it.  'Wil is so worried about the other teams that he is not playing his own game'.

Oswald and Danny's strategy is to go against what all of the other teams are doing and going - do all of the different detours, staying at the hotels - basically ignoring the strategy that the rest of the teams are following. Blake and Paige are in last - and they know it. 'We can't afford to make any more mistakes' says Paige.

Wil and Tara and Blake and Paige take the same bus to get to the statue - and when they get to the statue - and see the Bouncers there. Wil talks about continuing the alliance, while Tara continues to chew out Wil. D'oh! Oswald and Danny stay at the hotel next door, and just get there before the park opens. The next clue - go to the Murray House.  During this trip, Gary and
Dave create a new nickname for Danny and Oswald - Team 'Cha-Cha-Cha'. Meanwhile, the rest of the teams have a nickname for Gary and Dave - 'Itchy and Scratchy'. Can't you feel the love?

The Bouncers get to Murray House first, and they hit a detour: Dragon or Lion - Either paddle a Dragon boat, which will be harder to maneuver, but on a shorter course, or walk around the village in a Lion Costume, which will be easy to maneuver, but the course is 4 times as long.

All of the teams are there - except Blake and Paige, who are taking a long Taxi ride to nowhere. The great equalizer has struck again, and the siblings are the latest victim of the Taxi Driver from Hell.

The first 3 teams decide to take the Dragon Boat, and Danny and Oswald see this - so of course, following their own strategy, they decide to put on the Lion costume. Meanwhile, Blake uses the Taxi driver's cell phone to realize that they are going in the complete opposite directionm and the costume they want to put on the driver (who had a face of uh-oh when he heard Murray
House) is the Dumbass costume.

After a quick call to the tourism board, who gives the taxi driver directions, they are on the way to Murray Hill, but all of the other teams are well on their way through the course - the bouncers finish the course and get the next set of instructions - go to the Opera House in Sydney, Australia. Benefitting with their bizarre do whatever the other teams don't do mentality, Oswald and Danny are in second, followed by Wil and Tara, while Gary and Dave, who were the first people at Murray Hill, are the last people
out of the hill. But they are doing better than Blake and Paige, who play with the Lion costume in last place.

The teams are calling ahead to get the airlines. Danny and Oswald get themselves in stand-by, while Gary and Dave attempt to get a flight as well. They run into Oswald and Danny, who blatantly lie to the New York Geeks and say that they didn't make any reservations. The gay pals continue their strategy and go to the 5 star hotels for a reccomendation on the best travel agency to use. Tara and Wil run into the bouncers at the airport. Meanwhile, Danny and Oswald get to the travel agency, who say that they can get them the flight in an hour. So while they're waiting, they decide to do what any other pair of gay friends would do - SHOPPING!!!!!

Danny and Oswald, or team 'Cha-cha cha', as they are being called by the rest of the teams, saunter to the airlines as the teams make the plans to go to Australia. The Bouncers and Tara and Wil get the quickest flight out of there. And when they are done, Gary and Dave start to rant. 'We would like to get the same flight that the 2 deceitful ugly teams just got on'. But they are not alone in venom distribution. Blake, 'Gary and David are definately the ugliest Americans that I have ever seen'. If Rosie O' Donnell decides to do the Amazing Race reunion special, she may want to think about giving each team their own bleacher.

All 4 teams take the first flight out - with Danny and Oswald taking the next flight 2 hours later. But don't they loook so marrrrrrrvelous? But thanks to the travel agency, Danny and Oswald make it there first, but none of the other teams realize this as they make fun of Team 'Cha-Cha-Cha' Roadblock time - one member of the team has to go on a scavenger hunt - but the clues
are all in Australian slang.

Team Cha-cha-cha go first - and Oswald first has to 'Check out the surfie in the Lairy Daks (guy in a surfboard) - then find an ankle biter (no, I will not make any gay jokes here - it's a kid in a bike), find a Sheila in an Aussie Cozzie (girl in a bathing suit) and then a bushie (someone in the country side with a parrot) - then go to the Pit Stop - the Museum of Contemporary Arts. The first team that gets there wins a Caribbean Cruise Vacation (oooooooooooohhhhh).

Neither Blake or Wil will be going to the Caribbean, as they both pull the dumb-ass move of the episode and NOT READ THE CLUE, which said to find a whole set of clues before returning to their partner. They both return to their partners, who in turn both yell at them. Then both people bring their teammates with them, also a definite no no to the rules. In the words of Gary, 'What an Idiot'


Oswald and Danny get there first - and they win the vacation. The Bouncers get there second, followed by Gary and Dave. Tara and Wil get to the Bushie before reading the clue which says RETURN TO YOUR PARTNER - and Tara realized that Wil screwed this up too. 'Wil, we have to do this all over again. You (BLEEPED) this up.' You have that feeling that Tara proably wishes that she could be an honorary member of the Bouncers?

That being said, there has been no mention of the last team being eliminated, so it looks like this series will be true to form and it will be a non-elimination lap, which is a good thing, since this part of the race has been nothing short of a comedy of errors for WIl/Tara and Blake/Paige. Blake has to do it again as well as Tara and Paige are waiting on the steps.

Paige, 'I can;t believe this'
Tara 'I can, with Wil'

The women vow never to have the guys do a roadblack ever again. 'Wil, you never read them', and both Tara and WIl are squabbling all the way to the Museum of Contemporary Art. But Wil and Tara get to squabble another day, as they get to be in fourth place. Blake and Paige get another taxi from hell, and they get sent to the wrong Museum. That gets them put into last place. However, they also get to squabble for another day as this is a non-elimination lap.

But this episode transitions into the next episode - which starts off in Sydney. Sydney Harbor Bridge is the first location of the clue, and in order to get that, you need to get register with the Sydney Bridge Climb (and of course, climb across the Sydney Bridge). The Sydney Bridge Climb doesn't open until 5:45 am, so this brings all of the teams back together again - well,
almost all of them. Chris and Alex decide that now is the time to use the Fast Forward. Harry's Cafe is the site of the Fast Forward, and each person on the team has to eat a meat pie. Gary and Dave are next out of the blocks, followed by Wil and Tara and Blake and Paige.

Wil finally seems to be getting it (or is at least starting to feel the pain of Tara smacking Wil over the head with her pocketbook).  'I've been thinking so much about what all of the other teams have been doing that our own game plan has been slipping.' Blake 'All of the sacrifices that we've made have been for this point'.

The Bouncers have told Blake and Paige that they are going for the Fast Forward, but Blake and Paige decide to go for it anyways. Chris and Alex get the Fast Forward - which tells them that the Pit Stop for this leg is in the Aboriginal Bush Camp in Koober Pidy - in the Australian Outback.

Gary and Dave, while waiting for the Bridge to open, decide to beg for money while they were hanging out outside. The siblings find out that Chris and Alex did take the Fast Forward so they go sign up at the bridge.  Blake and Paige and Gary and Dave sleep outside  - and it's raining. Oops. Team Cha-Cha-Cha of course stayed in the poshy hotel and all of the teams convene
by the Bridge.

Go to Adelaide to Coober Pidy and go to the Metal Tree - which is located next to the Big Wench.  Meanwhile, Chris and Alex are staying out in Melbourne and they get the first flight to Adelaide. Danny and Oswald use the taxi driver's cell phone to get a 710 flight - and away they go. Wil, who freaks out over heights, gets over it, traverses the bridge, and gets to the airport, where they purchase 8:10 tickets along with Gary and Dave - but Blake and Paige get stand-by tickets, and if they don't get on the 8:10
plane, those stand-by tickets could turn into bye-bye tickets. But they do find a flight and the bottom 3 teams are all on the same flight.

The teams have to fly to Coober Pidy via the National Jet Service - which hosts teams - but 2 teams at a time. Danny and Oswald get to the Service for the 1pm flight - which is the same plane as the Bouncers. It's a furious race to get to the 1:15 flight - Tara and Wil and Blake and Paige get it. Gary and Dave get the last flight, and Gary smacks his fist on the floor in frustration. Oswald and Wil call for instructions on how to get to the Big Winch (Wil to Tara - 'I thought you were the big Wench' - WINCH, Wil, WINCH - well, we see how Wil screws up the Roadblocks now don't we?

All of the teams are within 30 minutes of each other. Danny and Oswald run to the Big Winch, while the Bouncers are running to the Pit Stop. All of the teams are griping about the weather. As the couple and the siblings get there next - but Danny and Oswald get to the detour first.

Coold Down - Dig for an opal in The Opal Quest Mine - it could take a while, but at least you'll be cool.
Heat Up -  Play 3 holes of golf in the dryest course in the world. You just get a map to determine where you go in temperatures of 130 degrees.

Oswald and Danny and Wil and Tara decide to do some mining. Blake and Paige decide to go golfing. Gary and Dave go mining. Chris and Alex get to the Bush Camp in first, win a vacation to Cancun, and immediately get eaten by the natives....well, they don't, but that's the last of them that you will see for the episode.

Wil starts second guessing again, but Tara 'It's too late for that now' stops him, and they descend into the caves that Danny and Oswald are currently exploring, 'It looks like everyone that is here are all dressed up out of the Village People'.  Wil, 'It's going to take forever' Tara, 'Of course it's going to take forever, you're just sitting there.'

From the Bundy's to the Siblings - Blake and Paige think that they will make up some massive time with this - but they did not complete the hole, so they have to redo it. Tara and WIl think they found one - but they didn't. 'Why are we doing this? I'm not a miner' Tara - 'You're not a miner, you're an idiot!' But they are doing better than Blake and Paige, who haven't completed a hole.

Futility continues to go all around - Danny and Oswald think that they have found an opal - but they haven't and the miner sends them back to the mines. Danny - 'We're never going to finish'. Blake and Paige have completed all 3 holes - and they get to go to Lookout 2 of the Breakaways National Park and follow the trail of valleys to the next clue.

Oswald and Danny finally get an opal and they get to go to the Breakaways. Gary and Dave finally give up mining and decide to go golfing. Tara and Wil stay at the mines while Wil is still checking for Opals - is he looking for the dumbass move of the episode too?

Gary and Dave may have, as Tara and Wil get the opal and are on their way. Oswald and Danny ask for and get directions, while Gary and Dave finally get to the golf course. Blake and Paige get to the Lookout first and get to the Roadblock - throw a boomerang from a circle and make sure the boomerang lands inside the circle. Tara and Wil and Danny and Oswald are now going neck and neck to the Roadblockand all three teams get there just as Gary and Dave complete their third golf hole.

Since there is one circle, all 3 teams alternate throws - and none of them  are completing it, which prompts fears that Gary and Dave will catch up to them. WIl 'If itchy and scratchy catch up...' Blake 'We're going to kill you all'. Blake and Paige do finish the boomerang throw first - and they have to hike to the Aboriginal Camp. Blake and Paige come in second.

Tara - 'You''re limp wristed too.' Oswald 'Shut up, Bitch'. Tara does complete it, and her and WIl come in third.  Tara bitch-slaps Wil for 'quitting ten times today', but all is well in the bickering Bickersons camp. Things are good in the limp-wristed camp as well, as Danny and Oswald complete the stunt and come in fourth.

This leaves Gary and Dave - whose change of heart to go golfing does become the Dumb-Ass move of the episode. 'Can you just give me one more chance for old-times sake?' asks Gary. Uhhhhhhh.....no - as this New York team finishes one space worse than the Frat Pack from Amazing Race 1. And then there were four - which will stay four after next week (non-elimination lap #3) - but at least the recap will be sort of entertaining....I hope....

Episode 7
After an uneventful episode that basically pissed all of the teams off at Wil, we're off again to an elimination episode - you come in last this time, and you get to start workng on Survivor 5 Applicationa a little bit earlier than you would like.

Mary and Peach start off this leg first - they have to go to the Seven Spires in the city of Chang Mai. The Seven Spiires is one of the most sacred temples. Gary and Dave go next 'You're tired, you're not eating right, you're not sleeping right, you're whole system is out of whack - you have to deal with it' says Gary. Truer words were never spoken in this episode, and that will come to haunt a team big-time.

The brother and sister team are next out of the shoot, followed by Oswald and Danny. The once-friends, and now enemies Tara and Wil and the bouncers leave within a minute of each other.

Mary and Peach, not knowing where they are, decide to play some strategy and let Gary and Dave pass - so they can follow them. The strategy works as both teams get there and read the next clue - go to the top floor on the tallest building in Hong Kong.  The tallest building in the city is called Central Plaza, and the first 2 teams hail a cab to get to the airport. How much do
you want to guess that the airplane is going to be abother great equalizer?

Tara and Wil pass Danny and Oswald, who get confused and need directions. But they are both in front of the last place bouncers. Sure enough, the airport opens at 6am and the first flight leaves at 7am, as Gary and Dave find out the hard way. All of the teams attempt to make the reservations via phone.

Dave screws up the reservations, gets a 10:40 flight, and gets chewed out by Gary, while Tara just gets chewed out by Wil for whatever reason that Wil feels like chewing Tara out for. The bouncers decide to make nice-nice with Tara and Wil again - 'keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer', as the bouncers are trying to figure out when is the right time to make the
puncture wounds in Wil and Tara's backs.

But back to the plane flights. All of the teams get on the flight to Hong Kong together in one group as Gary and Dave get the early lead out of the airport. Next stop? Train tickets, and Gary and Dave is the only team that gets the first train. The bouncers, the siblings, and Tara and WIl take the second train, while Danny and Oswald take the third train. The sisters make the dumb-ass move of the episode early, and lose the map while they get into the fourth train.

Gary and Dave find Central Plaza and get the next clue - using binoculars, find the green and white colors of the Star Ferry Terminal - which will take them across the harbor to the next clue. The newly patched up Bouncer and Tara/Wil alliance are next. And they are on the way up while Gary and Dave are still trying to find the green and white colors. Gary and Dave get sick of looking and elect to go to the Fast Forward.

A team can only use the Fast Forward once during the trip - but it gives them the directions to the Pit Stop without having to do any more challenges for the leg. This Fast Forward is in Wai Son Temple - they have to find Fortune Teller Amelia Chow, and each team member gets a reading (one member a palm reading, the other member a face reading). Gary and Dave decide to do this and leave just as the threesome arrive. 'This is like finding a needle in a haystack', says Paige, as they are looking for it.

Oswald and Danny are trailing, but at least they know where they are going - unlike the sisters, who are telling the Taxi Driver the wrong place to go - 'There is no central - it's center' says Mary, when they find out that it is Central, Peach looks like she wants to shove Mary under the taxi. After getting frustrated in failing to find the building (how can you not find the biggest building in Hong Kong?) they also elect to go for the Fast Forward, whch is described by Gary and Dave like this, 'Using the Fast Forward is like losing your virginity - you can only use it once and you can never go back to it. That's why we're a little scared but also a bit giddy.' You better hurry, or it will be Mary and Peach that will pop your cherry.

Chris and Wil find the ferry - and all six leave right as Danny and Oswald get there - and they find it much quicker than the six pack - so much quicker that they meet them diwn there while they are waitin for the next ferry.  Meanwhile, Gary and Dave get to the Wai Sin Temple first, but the sister don't know this and proceed down there, pretty much wrapping their fate, barring disaster befalling one of the other teams. 'You don't have to be a mind reader to read whats on our face'. What about you're screwed?

The 4 pack of teams hit a detour -

Wishing Tree - Go 18 miles to find a tree, write a wish on it, and toss it in the center of the area. 
Herbal Tea - find a Tea shop in a crowded marketplace and drink a foul smelling tea.

Danny and Oswald decide to find the tree. The rest go market shopping.

Gary and Dave find Amelia Chow, get the reading done - which is her saying that they are competing against other teams (wheeeee). They get the Fast Forward - go to Hong Kong Harbor and find a junk with that orange flag in it.

Mary and Peach find Amelia Chow - 10 minutes after Gary and Dave do. 'Today has been nothing but negatives - it's been nothing but one big mistake.' Well the big mistake will culminate in you getting ejected from the race.

Mary ' The number one rule is never quit, so we'll continue to see what happens'. What happens is that Mary is not using her head and panicking - instead of following the clue, she is asking for directions. Duh. Meanwhile, Gary and Dave get to the harbor and find the galleon that they are looking for. They come in first place for the leg.

Mary and Peach finally get to the detour - but Tara and Wil have gotten to the tea place at 3:05. 'There were 18 ingredients and I didn't recognize any of them'. They get the next clue - go to the Hong Kong Container Port - specifically the HIT Terminals. The Bouncers get there at 3:12pm. Meanwhile, Danny and Oswald get to the tree at 3:18. 'I wished for love. I wished for good health for the entire family' Awwwwwwbarf.

Blake and Paige get to the tea, and away they go to the Container Ports. But Wil and Tara are first, followed by the bouncers. While they're are at it, Danny and Oswald have a great exchange.

Danny - 'You haven't let me eat?'
Oswald - 'No, I I haven't let you eaten - we're trying to finish this leg, we can not stop for food.'
D: You're not even letting me go to the bathroom...there's food over there'
O: You have been eliminated (silence) I do not want to hear those words.
(Silence)
D: OK

We now know who wears the pants in the team, so to speak. Not that they have anything to worry about, since Mary and Peach are still stuck in the town looking for the tea.

Roadblock time - the person selected has to get up into a crane and move a container off of a truck onto the ground. Once the crane is back in place, the teams can take the clue that's on the container that they just moved onto the ground.

The bouncers and Wil and Tara make thie s friendly competition. 'We have to beat Wil and Tara'  But it's Tara that has taken the quick lead. 'She's good' says Wil. Where are these compliments in front of Tara? Meawhile, it's the bouncers turn to bitch at each other, as Alex is yelling to Chris. 'What the hell are you doing?....NOOOOO!!!!!'  Tara completes the stunt first 'My greatest achievement of the race so far has been that I beat Chris at the roadblock. He's the biggest guy here - and I whooped him.' Wil, of course, has no problems rubbing that in as he trash talks to Alex. 'Sometimes girls are better than guys. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.'

Tara and Wil get the final clue - get to that junk in Hong Kong Harbor. And they run to a taxi - which just got flagged by someone else. The bouncers take the first taxi out of the construction area. Danny and Oswald get there next, and they are joined by Blake and Paige.  Danny finishes first. 'I was starting to feel just a big masculine' uhhhh...yeah. Ok.

Mary and Peach are still looking for the Tea Shop - but Blake doesn't know that, and he thinks that they are in last , so he tries to rush it, which backfires on him big-time and he has to redo the whole thing. This gives Mary and Peach a possible back door into gaining some ground, but Peach, who's sick, tired, and hungry, finds the wrong time to make a power play. She refuses to drink it, and her stalling is costing the team whatever chance that they had into getting back into the race. Mary convinces Peach to drink it, and she does - but she gets even sicker and throws up, which costs the team even more precious time.

The sun is starting to set - and maybe set on Blake's chances, but he does get it done and they get the directions to the Pit Stop, This pretty much deep sixes the sisters, as Mary consoles Peach, but Peach has had enough and wants to quit. Yes, she contributed, but if Mary didn't lose the map, then they woudn't have gotten so ragged out in the first place and maybe Peach
could have stayed physically able to continue. 

The Bouncers, thanks to the aid of a lone Taxi, come in second place. Wil and Tara come in third, as both teams at the bottom have catapulted themselves back to the top. In the sunset, despite getting lost, Oswald and Danny come in fourth, despite Danny's promise to throw up on Phil's shoes if he gets sea-sick. Blake and Paige come in fifth, and for the fourth time in the show, a team does not get to finish the final challenge as the sisters come in last.  And for the second time ever, a team jumps from first place to eliminated in one single episode. History may repeat itself next week with another team going bye bye.

Episode 6
We no longer have the favorite for anyone in the high heavens, since the pastors have experienced the book in the Old Testament called 'Exodus'. We are down to Danny/Oswald, Mary/Peach, Alex/Chris, Gary/Dave, and the lovebirds Tara/Wil and Blake/Paige.

We start by seeing flashbacks of Wil being modest and humble, Blake and Paige being lost, and the bouncers moving into first place. And that's where they start when they leave their Pit Stop - got to Bangkok and find a flower vendor in Ampawa - which is located in the biggest flower district in Thailand. Chris and Alex run into the great equalizer - the non-understanding Taxi Driver. The sisters go next - and they find a driver that knows where the place is. Tara and Wil are third, and after Wil's promise to be humble, Wil immediately reverts back to Ill Wil and yells at the boat driver. So much for Wil trying to be more modest. 'He didn't even last 10 seconds into it' says Tara.

The siblings are next, and then Gary and Dave. All of the teams get into town, which kills the first place lead. Gary and Dave start spewing venom about Blake and Paige. 'I think the only thing they ever cared about was their sorority slots.' Ouch.

While all of the teams are in the town, Oswald and Danny finally leave Pai Plong - and they already used their Fast Forward, so they need another team to make a massive mistake to get them back into this. 'It is so frustrating, that it really makes it hard to compete.'  They are already in danger of being an afterthought in this episode.

Meanwhile, Gary and Dave are satill talking trash. 'In order to win this race, you need 2 people with the killer instinct. Peach can't kill anything except maybe a pink margarita.' Ths sisters, meanwhile, seem to be gaining ground on everyone, and seem to be the first team that has some sort of notion on where the flower vendors are.

Gary and Dave on Chris and Alex - 'The bouncers are completely out of their element. There are no beer bongs here...and there are no drunken women.' The NY Geeks may be correct on this analysis, since Chris and Alex seem to actually be moving away from the flower vendors. Meanwhile, Danny and Oswald do wind up at the party - and now everyone is at the market, making this a brand new ballgame.

The first team that finally finds the flower vendors is Chris and Alex, but the sisters, seeing the bouncers leaving, are right behind them. As for the clue? Find the Old Bridge in Chiang Mai - take a train to get there. Tara and Wil are third, Wil 'It took good eyes to find the flag'. Tara 'You giving me props now?' Wil'....' Tara 'Nah, didn't think so'. Following the pattern of people, the siblings are next, then Gary and Dave, and finally Danny and Oswald, who are starting to become bitchy because they are in last and they don't have time to shop.

But Tara and Wil find out that there is only one train - for a 15 hour ride - so once again all of the teams are equalized, thanks to the train leaving. All of the teams are on the same train, and with the extra time, they all go SHOPPING!!!! Oswald and Danny are now happy again. Meanwhile, Gary and Dave are trying to figure out how to take advantage of the fact that  4 of the teams are shopping together, while Tara looks like she is trying to take advantage of the bouncers, much to the chagrin of Wil - yo, Wil - Tara ain't yours anymore. Get over it.

The siblings by some shades and fashion accessories, while Mary and Peach get into a fight over shopping vs. bartering. CAT FIGHT! Didn't they learn about bartering a few episodes ago? 'I think it could affect the race, the tension between us', say Peach. What's tension filled is the 98 degrees, non-air conditioning ride for a lovely 15 hour ride. 'The race has only made me realized that 5 star hotels are worth every penny that you pay for' says Oswald, Mr. 'once you drink Champagne, you don't want to drink Pepsi', who is apparently sick of the whole thing. 'He's in a bad place, so if he doesn't want to stay in, I can't make him stay' retorts Danny. Since this isn't a Mark Burnett show, we are looking at some major foreshadowing here and after this episode, we may have run out of Minority Teams.

Oswald and Danny kiss and make-up, while Wil seems to be spending more attention to the 6 year old boy who wants to play walkie-talkie then with Tara. After the train ride from Hell, the siblings get the first taxi, while other teams pair up to split the cost. All of the teams gather to the next clue - a Detour:

Travel by:
Boat - Use a bamboo raft and navigate the current
Beast - navigate via an elephant

The speeds can vary via how well they use their respective transportation.

Gary and Dave and the sisters do the boat, followed by the siblings, and Oswald and Dave, who also take the raft.  Wil/Tara and the bouncers also decide to go rafting - and all 6 teams are on the same river. Danny and Oswald get their raft grounded, when Danny jumps in the water, gets the raft out, and steers past the siblings into third. 'I have a bitch bone in my body', explains Danny. Meanwhile, the sisters get past Gary and Dave and take the lead. On the reverse side of the spectrum, Wil and Tara are in last place, and Wil, by not listening to Tara, is steering the boat into trees. Wil, 'If the communication continues to be going the way it seems to be going, then we're going to lose'. Well, maybe if you would be a bit more humble, like you promised you would be... 

Mary and Peach get to the next flag first and its time to go to Mae Ping Village. A home for elephants that take part in major religious ceremonies. Gary and Dave, the siblings, Danny and Oswald, the bouncers, and Tara and Wil complete the order. Gary is yelling at Dave to not break the speed limit, Dave tells Gary to shut up - will they take another speed penalty?

Meanwhile, Wil and Tara pass the bouncers and get out of the dangerous last place position. Mary and Peach get to the roadblock - have one person wash all of the traditional markings off of an elephant. The sisters finish first and Dave, who is bribing the elephant with peanuts to stand still, come in second. The Pit Stop is to go to Karen Village, near Chai-Dong 'It was great until the elephant took a dump on my foot' says Blake, who finishes in third. Danny and Oswald are right behind them.

It's a neck and neck race between Tara and Wil and the bouncers to avoid coming in last. The bouncers are done first and they go past Tara and Wil into 5th place. All of the the teams are within minutes of each other.

The sisters wind up in first in this leg, with Gary and Dave 30 seconds behind them. Ths siblings come in third, followed by Dave and Oswald.

But it's the ending of the last 2 teams that made this episode controversial. Tara and Wil and the bouncers all walk together to the finish line. And they all knew that it was a non-elimination lap - since the clue did not say that the last team would be eliiminated. Even though the bouncers were leadin all the way, and even though that the teams walked together, Wil makes the dumbass move of the episode by walking in front of the Bouncers right at the end to grab 5th place. Sure enough, the lap was a non-eliimination one, but that pisses off the Bouncers and the only team that didn't want to throw Wil into a dumpster has just grabbed a hefty Bag. 'We will have to show Wil and teach him a lesson, a lesson in humility, and we will do that by taking his woman' says Alex.  Someone will be taught a lesson next week, as the next lap is an elimination lap.

Episode 5
In a shocking twist last week, one of the favorties was eliminated as Shola and Doyin took the express jeep out of the game (but don't ask them to do it in shift gear). But the game will shift again as another team will be shifted out of the competition.

Once again, we start the action before the teams leave to start the next leg - and the focus is on Blake and Paige, who seem to be pissing off all of the teams. The latest ones were the sisters, who accused the siblings of cutting them and are yelling at them for making the grannies cry when they cut in front of them.

According to Wil, "Blake and Paige have done everything under their power to disrupt this race. ..If that's the way that the game is going to be played - I'll feed him to the tiger." Blake overhears Wil saying this, and we get Wil Vs. Blake, Round 1. This ends with the teams yelling at Blake for not playing by the rules, and Blake simmers off.

Oswald and Danny (and their healing feet) go first and they see that thay have to go to Bangkok, Thailand  - they have to get there from Windhoek.  Remember when Wil accused Gary and Dave of speeding last episode? Sure enough, Gary and Dave did speed - as did the bouncers. Ooooh - lots of cheating - so they get penalized 42 minutes.  So Wil and Tara get the second spot, followed by Gary and Dave.

The siblings and sisters go next, and it seems like Blake may have had a change of heart. Blake, 'I'm going to let them go first, since we jumped in front of them'. That tune changes when Blake and Paige get into their taxi.   'If we cut in front of them, then we cut in front of them'. Chris and Alex leave around 4 hours after Danny and Oswald, including their own penalty for speeding.  They all get the plane tickets to Thailand. When the teams get to Johannesburg, the teams finagle to get to the front of the plane. All of the teams get on the same airplane - 'It's an even level playing field'.

And since all of the teams are waiting at the airport, we all get a dose of Will and Blake round 2 - they get involved in the airport, and absolutely nothing gets solved. Both teams say things are patched up, but neither team is happy. Gary and Dave may be selling tickets to that celebrity boxing match that was proposed last episode.

Once in Bangkok, the teams have to find the temple dancers. Gary and Dave get there first, followed by Blake and Paige. Meanwhile, Tara and Wil are waiting for Chris and Alex to get their stuff - and WIl wants to end this alliance. Tara stops him, which leads to even more squabbling. When Tara reminds Wil that the bouncers waited for them at the airport, Wil responds with, 'I don't want to play anymore' and he storms off.

After bitching and moaning with Tara, Wil brings his happy game face back to the bouncers - they rent a van to their next destination and Wil takes all of the credit. Tara looks like she wants to pull the Survivor Twist game and switch Wil off for a bouncer - or for a Buddha Statue, for that matter. The sisters take a skyvan with the pastors. Meanwhile, the gay friends and the Pastors are still stuck at the airport trying to find the sky train.

Gary and Dave get to the temple dancers first - and get a Detour. The decisions the team has to make are as follows: 
Confusion now - teams have to go to a water taxi dock - and find a bird shop - but it will be easy to do what they have to do (release a bird cage full of sparrows).
Confusion Later - take a taxi cab to China Town, but they have to figure out that they have to burn a paper car in a specific area.

Gary and Dave decide to go to China Town and find the cars. WIl/Tara, the bouncers, and Blake and Paige all get to the Temple dancers at the same time. The couple and the bouncers decide to water taxi it, While the siblings go to China Town.

The Pastors and the gay friends still can't find the Temple Dancers. "We really need a lot of help", says Danny.  Personal or Professional?  But Danny and Oswald do a game-saving thing and find a native who is more than willing to play hooky for the day. The Pastors don't do anything of the sort and get a Dumbass-Award of the episode for wandering around aimlessly looking for the
dancers. 

Gary and Dave get the car first, and get a car for Gary's late grandfather. 'Im sorry we sent you a BMW' - they burnt it - but they burnt it at the wrong place. So they have to go back and get another BWM for Gary's grandfather.

Danny and Oswald catch up to the siblings and the NY Geeks, thanks to their guide. Panicking, the siblings pick the wrong place to burn their car - again - and have to get a third car. Meanwhile, Gary and Dave finally burn the second car in the right place, and they get the next clue - go to the Temple at Ratchaburi and find a temple in Waikokong there - you can only take the public buses to get there.

While that's going on, the bouncer/couple alliance released the sparrows and they are going to the temple. The sisters get there right afterwards. Blake and Paige finally get the third car burnt and they are on their way. The pastors finally get the water taxi - but they are now in last place.

Gary and Dave get the first bus to Ratchaburi, and Chris and Alex get the second bus. Wil thinks that they got put at the bus station, but they are no where near it, and Tara and Wil squabble again. They recover and get the 4th bus out there, but they get overtaken by the sisters, who get the 3rd bus to Ratchaburi. Blake and Paige get the 5th bus, Oswald and Danny get the 6th bus, while the Pastors are now getting to the bird market. You think, for the third straight episode, that a team may not finish all of the exercises on a leg?

Gary and Dave are caught by the Bouncers, and Gary and Dave start a little rivalry between Boston and the Yankees. 'The kid is on a crack pipe', says Chris. But its the bouncer's taxi that has a cracked pipe, and a radiator leak forces them to stop while Gary and Dave take the lead.

The New York Geeks go to the temple first, with Chris and Alex right behind. But Gary and Dave stop in the wrong moastery in the temple and the bouncers find the flag first and get there first to the roadblock. One member of the team has to find a flag in the cave - the flag is surrounded by millions of BATS and COCKROACHES. Chris and Alex get done first, and get the directions to the Pit Stop -  Ban Plai Bon Pang.

Gary and Dave can't find the flag at the temple, and both the sisters and Blake and Paige go past the NY Geeks. Peach gets into the cave first before the other 2 teams - but the other 2 teams get out first, causing Mary to worry.  Peach finally comes out and they get moving.

Chris and Alex get a long boat and they are well on their way to their check in at first, meanwhile, their alliance buddies, Tara and Wil, are well on their way to 5th, but they are ahead of both the Pastors and Danny and Oswald, who get to the Bat Temple before the Pastors. 

Wil,  'My karma payback started today. If we get back in the race, I promise I will not be anything except humble. praise to Allah.' yeah, ok. Mary and Peach come in second, Tara and Wil do come in third, and Blake and Paige come in fourth, with Gary and Dave coming in fifth.

The race is coming down to the Pastors and Danny and Oswald. The Pastors finally get done with the bat cave but Osawld and Danny squeak it out for the sixth and final spot. The Pastors slow start comes to haunt them as they will have plenty of time to hang out with Allah in Bangkok - because that's as far as they are going in this race. 

Episode 4
This leg of the race starts off at a lovely mansion in the middle of South African wine country, but the action starts the night before. You see, Wil (of the Wil and Tara team) really enjoys his wine - I mean REALLY enjoys his wine. So much so that he gets a little...shall we say...tipsy...OK, he gets stinking drunk and curses everything out. This, of course, upsets the pastors as well as the sisters. Add the bad blood with Blake and Wil is probably happy that they have the alliance with the bouncers - since he may need them to protect his carcass near the end of the race.

Once the teams depart from the mansion, they have to go to the Cape Avatar Business Center - Ryan Black air, specifically. They then have to fly to Wallis Bay, Namibia and go to the Seaside Coast. There are 2 planes available - each one seats 4 teams. The first one leaves at 9am, the second one leaves at noon - 3 hours later.

Oswaled/Dan, Tara/Wil and Gary/Dave all leave within minutes of each other at 2:52 am, and they get there well before everyone else. The race is going to be for that fourth seat on the first plane - and that race comes down to the sisters, the twins, and the bro/sis duo.

Blake and Paige bribe the driver an extra 100 gran if they get there for the fourth slot, 'Eat or be eaten', says Blake, but Blake looks good with some ketchup on top as the sisters get the final slot on the first plane. So the teams on the second plane (and prime candidates for expulsion) are Blake/Paige, the twins, the pastors, and the bouncers.

We have our official Amazing Race injury report while on the plane. Danny pulled a muscle in his foot while attempting to do yoga at the mansion (You are in the middle of a race for a million dollars and you decide to do stretch and do yoga? Wha?), so the team can't do much hiking. Meanwhile, Peach is feeling ill, so that team will be slowed down as well.

All 4 teams arrive at the airport - and they get swindled trying to find a taxicab. All of the teams leave on the first taxi - except for Oswald/Danny, w ho charm the agent into giving them a free ride into town. That propels the gay friends into first place.

The teams have to walk up a lighthouse in Swakopumund (that will do wonders for Danny's ankle...NOT) and find an SUV Truck. Then they have to go to the Matterhorn Sand Dune and hike to the top of the dune. Danny and Oswald get there first, see the word 'hike' on the instructions, and Danny (and his wounded ankle) decide to go after the Fast Forward.

The Fast Forward will tell the team where the Pit Stop is for the leg, but only one team can use it per leg, and you can only use it once for the entire race. The Fast Forward for the day is located at the Old Railway Station - or where it used to be. The final leg in the race is the Amani Lodge. What is currently there is a swimming pool in a mansion. Oswald strips down to his boxers (ewwwwwwwww) and gets the Fast Forward.

Peach is feeling really ill, so Mary and Peach also go after the Fast Forward - but get there right after Danny and Oswald grab the Fast Forward, so they have to go to the Sand Dune, and fall behind Tara/Wil. They stay in front of Gary/David, who have their own little run-in with the taxi driver from Hell. Tara and Wil get to the top of the sand dune, but not without some squabbling:

W:"That's why I pay you the big bucks"
T:"What exactly are you paying me?"
W:"I'm paying you a half-million bucks."
Is there anybody that Wil gets along with?

When they get to the top, teams have a choice: either walk back down, or slide down a mini sand toboggan that goes down as quickly as 50 mph. Wil and Tara, the sisters, and Gary/Dave all decide to slide down. When they get to the bottom, the teams have to go to Spitzkoppfe, go to the General Dealer Store, and ask for the postcard of the day.

While the bickering bickersons are going to the general store, the second group of teams arrive, and all of the teams decide to pool their money to get a cab - except for the bouncers. This bites them in the ass, because as the bouncers try to call for a cab, the cab for the other teams come - and  they are left cab-less. It takes them over an hour to get another cab, and they are far behind the rest of the teams. When they get to the lighthouse, there is only one SUV waiting for them, and they need a team to pull a massive dumbass move on order for them to stick around.

And they will get it, in the form of Shola and Doyin's SUV driving ability.  They have problems with the stick, and they have problems trying to find it. The twins are also getting no love from the natives. 
S:"Do you know where the Matterhorn Sand Dune is?"
Native:"It's in the desert"
Thanks for all of your help.

Meanwhile, Tara and Wil get to the General Dealer Store, and get the postcard, which tells the teams to go the Bushman Woodcarver Market. One of the teammates have to barter with the natives to get the five main animals of Africa - Lion, Rhino, Buffalo, Leopard, and Elephant - in a figurine form. Present them to the head woodcarver (who looks like the main bushman in the flick 'The Gods Must be Crazy', and he will give you a gtiraffe figurine and the instructions to get to the Pit Stop - the Amani Lodge.

Tara gets into the stunt as she makes animal gestures to the main bushman as she presents the 5 figurines. Wil gets into it with Gary, as he accuses the New York Geeks of speeding to try to catch up with them. So Wil has pissed off yet ANOTHER team - and has now made enemies with over half of the teams that are left in the race. Tara, is there anywhere that you can bring Wil without him getting himself into trouble?

Mary and Peach get to the animals - and Peach gets a lesson from Mary on how to auction. They get done right before Blake and Paige, who get done right before the Pastors.

The bouncers get lost and take them forever just to get to the sand dunes. But they are doing much beter than Shola, who comits the dumb-ass move of the episode when Shola veers off of the road and drives right into the sand. This causes their car to get stuck, and the twins spend even more time trying to get their car out of the sand. They finally get out of the sand - and get directions to the sand dune - but its 7:37 when they get the directions, and the dunes close at 7:45. Unless the SUV has a light speed booster attached to their bumper, they are not getting to the dunes.

And that sucks for them, because everyone else has. Danny and Oswald, due to the Fast Forward, come in first place. The speeding Gary and Dave (quote of the night - while they get the giraffe out of the car - 'I'm in the mood for a long neck'.) speed past Tara and Wil and come in second, while T/W come in third.

A little controversy for the fourth and 5th spots - both teams get to the lodge at around the same time. There is a path that the sisters are running on - and they think that they have 4th wrapped up, but the siblings take a short cut through the woods - and they beat Mary and Peach for fourth. 'Whether they meant to cut us or not, I'm disappointed', says Peach. Wait a sec - this is a race - there is no honor in racing - there should be no unwritten rules on being on line. Blake and Paige are playing the game as they should - but they are still racking up almost as many teams that will not be inviting them to Thanksgiving dinner as Wil.

The pastors come in 6th place. The bouncers take the 7th and final position. This leaves Shola and Doyin (who don't even get to the dunes - like the grannies, they get the unceremonious short cut to the Pit Stop - and you can tell this since they don't bring a giraffe with them to the Pit Stop) in the last and eliminated position as one of my favorites goes down in flames. Next week - Wil and Blake attempt to break bread - and each other's necks. 

Episode 3
2 Teams have made cameo appearances on the Early Show. Blake/Paige, Dave/Garry and the Grannies are your favorites to be the third team on the circuit. Meanwhile, Wil/Tara and The Bouncers have made an alliance that is around as solid as Heinz 57 gravy. We'll see who's pride will be doused in gravy as the next team eliimated.

The first pass on this leg is to go to Cape Town, South Africa and get to the cell where Nelson Mandela wasn imprisoned in. Shola and Doyin's father was from Sierra Leone, so this is, in their terms, 'sort of a family reunion'. They leave first, followed by all of the other teams...but the grannies are nowhere to be found.

That's because the grannies never set their alarm clocks (or took their Geritol, take your pick) and they oversleep by 40 minutes. This delights Black and Paige, which was the team that finished in second to last in the last leg. 'When you're in last, you have to do everything you can to get back in the middle of the pack.' It doesn't delight anyone when they find out that the flights don't leave until 6:50 - so the airport plays the second type of great equalizer.

Now it's a race to get the best flight out of there. There are no direct flights to Cape Town, so the team that gets the best flight plan will take the lead. Blake and Paige wind up cutting past the Grannies and half of the other teams to get tickets, but the teams that make the best plans are Tara/Will, Oswald and Danny, and Gary/Dave, as they get into Cape Town first. Shola and Doyin come in 2 hours later, followed by Mary and Peach and (finally) Blake and Paige (I guess cutting doesn't really get you anywhere. eh?) Cyndi/Russell and Chris and Alex get there half-way, but are stuck on stand-by to get there the rest of the way. This should proptly bite them in the ass later. But what makes the dumbass move of the episode are the grannies, who take a route with 4 stops, including New York and London. This takes slow to the extreme, don't you think?

Tara and Wil get to Nelson Mandela's cell first. 'I don't know if we're in such a rush that we don't have time to fight' explains Tara, who with Will now ally themselves with Oswald/Danny and Gary/Dave. Behind them are the twins and the sisters. After heading back to Kalk Bay Harbor - they have a detour to make - either dance with a South Africah Troupe (Dubbed 'The Village People' by Will) and get 25 gran from the natives, or cart around 275 pounds wirth of fish to the scales. Since 25 gran is equivalent to $2.25 in American money, all of the teams decide to put on those old disco albums and sing renditions of YMCA and Macho Man.

After doing the 'Irish Riverdance on Crack' (Thanks, Oswald), the teams then have to go to Paradise Hair Salon in Zone 23 - they have to go to Capetown Station and go to langa Township. When they get there, the teams hit a roadblock. Someone has to buy Epson Salts and a Smiley (a sheeps head) - they then have to give this to a healer, who will ake a remedy that the person must drink. When all of it is drunk, then they get the next clue. Fear Factor, anyone?

By the way, to be politically correct, they are not 'Healers', according to the sign outside their door. They want to be known as 'Herbal Chemists'. Yeah, ok, whatever. After drinking the remedy, which according to Gary is, 'A blend of mouthwash and Clorox Bleach', the triumverate get the final clue to the leg - the Pit Stop is at Lanzerac Manor. Surely enough, the threesome get there at the same time - Danny/Oswald in first, Wil and Tara in second, and Gary/Dave in third.

Meanwhile, Mary and Peach are on the way to Zone 23 - and are told by the natives not to show up there, or they will be mugged and killed. Despite the pleasantries, the sisters do get there, and Mary gives the natives a whole bunch of sunglasses, bringing the heart-warming 'see, it's more than just a race' factor into the show. Awwwwwwbarf.

The twins start to do the fish - and then change their mind after Blake and Paige (who travelled with them) finished the dance in less than 5 minutes. The uniforms are wayyyy to small, but they finish it. 'We feel like twin Urkels' say the twins. But at least you are in Cape Town, which is better than the grannies, who are the only ones not there yet - they are still in London after failing to go to security. Can we just give the grannies the year's supply of Rice-A-Roni and the complete set of the Encyclopedia Britannica now?

Chris and Alex and the Pastors get to the dance choice - and they all decide to carry fish instead - this takes them 15 minutes, and the Bouncers are even nice enough to help the pastors out with their fish when they are done. They are still deemed as 'sneaky' though by Cyndi, (this reminds me of the sermon with the guy on the flooded roof and asking God to....never mind - you've all probably heard that one before - but I'll say it later if it is deemed appropriate).

The sisters get to the mansion and come in fourth. Shola and Doyin and Blake and Paige come in equally tied for 5th/6th. After nightfall, Chris and Alex come in 7th and the Pastors come in the final advancement spot (8th).

After their stupid travel itinerary, the grannies finally come into Cape Town - a full day after everyone else got there. The crew felt sorry for them, as the grannies, after getting into Nelson Mandela's cell, got the note to go straight to the Pit Stop, bypassing the dancing, fish, healer, etc. The ironic thing is that it wasn't the physical actions that stopped them - it was the hideous travel schedule that they made for themselves. At least they came in 2 places further than I thought they were going to finish in.

What makes this even more interesting is that the weaker teams are at the top while the stronger ones are at the bottom, and now that the 3 teams that were definately the weaker ones are gone, any of the other 8 could win - or be the next ones out of Dodge.

Episode 2
In the first episode, we got to meet everybody - but we didn't get to meet Hilary and Diedre for too long, because they are now out. We get to lose another team, after only 2 hours of acquaintance time (though there are probably millions of internet articles out there about the newly departed if you are looking for them...)

The first place team of Tara and Wil start this leg out - and they have to go to a Samba Club and find a girl whose headdress matches the feather that the teams have been given. They leave at 11:06. Cyndi/Russell and Shola/Doyin leave at 11:34 and
11:35, respectively - yet they both get there before Tara and Wil. Why? Because Tara and Wil have met one of the great Amazing Race equalizers - the idiot taxi driver from hell. While the guy is driving around, the pastors and the twins have gotten into and out of the club. Heck, the next 2 teams (sisters, married parents) are out of the gate before they get there.

Will and Tara's idiotic taxi driver puts Cyndi and Russell into the lead. They next have to find Pedro Bonita - which is located at the top of a mountain on Sao Conrado Beach. When they get to the top, they have a detour - a choice of 2 things to do - either  hangglide off of the mountain to the beach below, or go back down and use metal detectors to find the next clue - which is buried
in a mile and a half stretch of sand.

Cyndi and Russell decide to hangglide. So do Tara and Wil, who show up in second place. Shola and Doyin get there, but not before their idiotic taxi driver from Hell runs over Doyin's back of his foot. Ouch. They see the detour, get afraid of
heights, and decide to do plan C - use the Fast Forward.

The Fast Forward is a stunt that if completed, will give the team the exact directions to where the next pit stop is. Only one team can get the Fast Forward, and you can only use it once, so use it wisely. The Fast Forward is to score 10 points off of the volleyball game against 2 of the natives. The twins decide to do that, regardless of the foot. 'If I'm not alright, we're still going'.

The rest of the teams get to the top of the mountain -except the grannies and Gary and Dave, who also decide to play volleyball. The grannies change their mind when they see the brothers there, and decide to go up the hill. They see the detour, and decide to go down to use the metal detectors - until the rest of the team make fun of them - and tell them to rescind the gutsy granny
t-shirts if they don't do it. The grannies stay.

While practicing volleyball, one of the Doyin/Shola combo twists his leg. Gary and Dave decide that they can get to 10 points quicker than a guy with a gimpy leg and another one who's ankle got run over. They are wrong, as the brothers get 10 points first (Gary and Dave had 2 when the game ended). The twins get the Fast Forward, and Gary and Dave now decide to use the metal
detectors - until they are there for a good half an hour and see 3 of the teams hanggliding it down. They decide to go back up the
mountain and hangglide.

Meanwhile, on the hanggliding hangout, The pastors, the separated couple, the sisters, the bouncers, the married with children couple, and the gay friends have all hangglided. The grannies are up to hangglide - and they balk - not becuase they don't want to do it - but because they think they are both too slow to get the speed necessary to make the initial jump. So the hanggliding
company hooks each of them up with a guy from the company and they make the jump. Blake and Paige follow, and Gary and Dave bring up the rear.

All of the teams need to find a bus that brings them to Foz Do Iquacu (Iguacu Falls), and the pit stop is in that city. The brothers, the bouncers, and Tara/Wil take the first bus - and the bus gets a flat tire. That delay only stops them for 16 minutes, when Alex of the bouncers decides to push the bus driver aside and fix the tire  - with the help of the other 2 teams. You should get
teams that are in a race for a million bucks all the time on your tour bus =).

The second bus contains the pastors, the sisters and Dan/Oswald, and their bus gets to the city without a problem.  The grannies and Gary and Dave miss the last direct bus - so they take one that reconnects to another bus. When they get to the connecting point, Gary and Dave get to connect to a 630 bus, while the grannies are stuck with one that leaves at 8.

But they are both in better shape that the brother and sister and Hope and Norm. Hope and Norm have their own idiot taxi driver from hell, and them gettting stuck leaces them trying to make the last bus. Blake, meanwhile, pulls the dumbass move of the episode by leaving his wallet in the taxi, and they are stuck in a bad episode of Lost as they are left to panhandle for money to try to get the cash. They do rack up $20 in 5 minutes, and they join Hope and Norm in the last bus.

The final obstacle when they get to the city is a Roadblock - one of the people has to be on a speedboat and scan the Iquacou falls for the flag - the other one has to wait on the dock for the partner to come back with directions on how to get to the pit stop - which is in a jungle camp by the safari dock.

Shola and Doyin don't have to worry about that - they got the Fast Forward and make it into first place. Tina/Wil and the bouncers make an alliance - which almost quickly disappears when Wil tells Tara to gas the car when the bouncers's car stall. Tina and Wil's car then gets grounded into low gear, and the bouncers reluctantly help them out. Seeds of backstabbings, anyone? Once at the falls, Tina/Wil and Chris/Alex make a very shaky alliance to get the flags, and only time will tell if they stay that way. Chris and Alex come in second, Tara and Wil in third. Mary and Peach come in fourth, and Gary and Dave's redirected bus route actually gets them in front of the second bus and they come in 5th. Cyndi and Russell make it in 6th and Oswald and Danny are in 7th. The grannies bus direct also gets them in quicker than the last bus and they come in 8th.

This leaves the brother and sister team and Hope and Norm. While on the bus, Blake and Paige spot someone with a map. They get written directions from him on how to get to the place with the speedboat. Norm and Hope do no such thing, and stop to ask for directions once they get off of the bus. This winds up being the difference between the 2 teams, as Black and Paige sneak into the last surviving position and Norm and Hope go Iloveouybuhbye.

Episode 1
Welcome back to the second season of The Amazing Race! I am back, Phil is back, and 11 new teams are back, too.  (Note from Jason:  If they're new teams...are they really back?) The rules are pretty simple - the race is divided into 11 legs, if you finish in last in any of the legs, you have a good chance of being eliminated. The winning team gets $1,000,000! Whoo-hoo! So let's meet the teams:

Blake/Paige (The Siblings) - 'We know each others strengths and weaknesses...you know what scares me? second place.'
(A Blonde Dan Cortese/Electra duo)

Hope/Norm (Married with Children) - 'We are real people with real children who struggle as real parents with real problems'
(Married with Children, Walton's Style)

Oswald/Danny (Gay Friends) - 'Absolutely Fabulous...It's difficult to be drinking 7-up after you're drinking champagne'
(Yes, it's a dumber, 20 year younger, Latin version of Bill and Joe)

Tara/Wil (Separated Couple)  -'I am not so confident that we'll do well in the race because we fight a lot'
(The Caucasian version of Frank and Margarita - if they are as savvy as F and M were, pencil them in the top 3, now)

Hilary/Diedre (Mom/Daughter) 'I'm gonna want to go really fast and Mom's going to want to think things through...I think we're going to be underestimated'
(No real reason to write anything here - we're not going to be seeing much of them after this episode)

Chris/Alex (The Bouncers) 'I'm planning on kicking everybody's ass'
(I think you need to be a bit less subtle, Chris. Any clue what their intentions are goig to be?)

Cindy/Russell (Pastors) 'We have a spiritual advantage...I'm certainly not going to ask God to hinder anybody else, but I am going to ask him to help us.'
(Yes, they are as religious as they sound. If they bless God every time they do something right, I will be getting my barf bag handy)

Peggy/Claire (The Gutsy Grannies) 'We call ourselves the gutsy grannies. We're doing this for the grannies of the whole world.'
(Is this some sort of a cheap demographic pop that will warm the cockles of the bottom of everyone's heart?)

Gary/David (New York Geeks) 'We're best enemies, we barely tolerate each other. We're going to do everything short of a felony to win this race.'
(One is bald, the other geeky, but Kevin and Drew, they are most certainly not)

Melody/Peach (Sisters) 'Mary is in control...I'm going to show my whole family that I can do this'
(They remind me of the bobsey twins. If they don't implode, they will be sticking around for a while)

Shola/Doyin (twins) 'I think people are going to expect a lot from twins - I think we are going to have the best teamwork'
(Good news - this African-American pair are smart enough to be in the finals. The bad news - there is no way on Earth that I will be able to tell these 2 apart.)

My Top 3 picks after seeing this segment - Tara/Wil, Shola/Doyin, and Cyndi/Russell

Now, onto the game, which starts in the dusty land of Las Vegas. The teams start in the middle of nowhere - and there first clue is to get into a 4runner and go to Rio De Janeiro. The first flight will take the first 7 teams. The other 4 sucker teams have to wait for the next flight - 2 hours later. After a rendevouz with the airport security, your 4 teams in eary peril are Danny/Oswald, Diedre/Hilary, Peggy/Claire, and Gary/Dave.

Once in Rio, the teams have to get to the statue called Christo Redentor (the tall white statue that is scene in every Rio tourism commercial). Once there, the teams have to go to kiss 'Fat Maria' on Paqueta Island. 'Fat Maria' is a tree, and after the tree, the teams have to go make a boat reservation for Paqueta Island. The boats will leave the next morning - first come, first serve, and 3 teams to a boat.

The sister get to the Christo Redentor  first, but it is Cyndi and Russell who get to the tree first. After praising God for them being
there and the Christo Redentor  (awwwwwwBarf), The pastors head on over and are the first to make the boating reservations. Wil and Tara get there - sort of. Wil gets himself lost while looking for the boat reservation place. Tara finds it - but then has to go find Wil. By the time she finds her, the twins and the siblings have gotten on line and got the last reservations for the 8am voyage, which will send the separated couple to the couple to the 8:45am voyage. Tara and Wil start to protest, saying they were there first, but the teams aren't buying their steaming line of monkey crap and Blake gets into a verbal spat with Wil. With the twins defending the siblings (relatives must stick together, you know) Wil and Tara lose the argument, but not before Wil curses Blake out. 'There's gonna be competition between Blake and Wil, mano-a-mano.', notes Tara.  When the series is over, why don't we put
them in the next edition of celebrity boxing matches?

All of the teams get there, and here's how the schedule looks like:
8am - Siblings, Twins, Pastors
8:45 - Pissed off WIl and Tara, and Happy to be there Hope and Norm
9:30 - Bouncers, Sisters, Gay Friends
10am - NY Geeks, Mom and Daughter, Grannies

Once the teams get to the island, they have to climb to the second level of Sugar Loaf Mountain. They then have a detour - which tells them how to get off of the mountain - either rappel down the 590 foot surface, or or take a gondola down - but having to find the woman who inspired the song 'The girl from Ipanema' first before continuing. Everyone decides to rappel down - except the grannies, who say they are gutsy, but not suicidal.

Paige and Blake, who have rappelled before, make it down first. Tara and Wil, however get there, and they have repalled too - and they show it by going past both the twins and the pastors. Doyin, who is terrified of heights is not having much fun here. 'Doyin Brian Richards, don't look down...thank God I have a clean pair of shorts in the back'. The pastors come down right behind them, and those are your 4 frontrunners.

The siblings open the clue - and it's the directions to go to the pit stop - which is the final part of this leg of the race. They have to
find the yacht called Tocorime on Urca Beach. Last team there gets to go bye bye. Wil and Tara, who got stuck on the second boat to the island, See the yacht as they taxi it down to the beach. They get out of the taxi, spend $100 for a rent-a-boat there, and make it in first place. The pastors and the twin boys pooled their money together to find a boat, and they came in second and third, respectively. The siblings and Hope and Norm also pooled their funds together, and they came in tied for fourth. The bouncers come in 6th, the sisters in 7th, and Oswald and Danny in 8th.

The race was on for the final 3 teams, Gary (who tried to convince the Taxi driver to hurry faster to the Christo Redentor by saying that he wanted to convert) and Dave get snookered on prices for a boat, but they get there in 9th. The grannies are certain that they came in last, but they surpassed the mother/daughter team of Hilary/Diedre, who didn't do anything for a dumbass move of the episode, but they do get a slow-ass move of the episode, ad mom Diedre, already the last team at the rappelling station, got her rope caught and it took her wayyyyy too long to get down from the cliff. So the mom and daughter team this time around are the first team to go Iloveyoubuhbye.

My Take - 'Lots of personality filled contestants here in this episode. This should be a very fun sequel to the original, and hopefully will get the ratings to warrant a third season - though based on the fact that Big Brother 3 is coming this Summer, that shouldn't be too difficult.'