THE RECAPS
STORMSEEKER.COM RECAPS! Reality editor Gordon Pepper provides
recaps of each show.
June 16, 2003 June 30, 2003 July 7, 2003 July 21, 2003 August 4, 2003 August 25, 2003 September 11, 2003
How far will people go for love? (Or how far will people go to make idiots of themselves on television to find out?). That is the question that FOX asks, and as trained lemmings, we are compelled to watch and find out.
Here's the premise - Chico's Game Show Hussy, Mark Wahlberg, leads us to see what people will do to test their love to each other - like Amy, who is seperated from her husband Matt, who seems to be very involved in strip clubs. What's the logical thing to do? Divorce Matt. What does she decide to do? Wear a mask and portray a stripper at the club that Matt goes to in order to win her love back. Makes perfect sense, no?
We get to go to the bar, where 'Devon' decides that she wants to turn Amy's 'Maryanne' persona into 'Ginger'. It works for now, but she is having second thoughts and is thinking about backing out. She decides that with her marriage on the line, she decides to do it. 'This is going to make it, or break it'. If a strip tease dance is the thing that's going to make it or break it, then the relationship needs much more work.
But here comes 'Ginger' (who is, of course, Amy), and Matt's first words are 'Do you work here?' Amy explains that she is more confident about herself and that she wants to give this another try. This seems to be more of a self-esteem issuefor Amy, and Matt, who now sees that Amy is self-assured, decides that he does want to give it a second chance. 'I will do anything to make this work.' Score one for getting back together. AwwwwwBARF.
Richard thinks that Yanni is cheating on him, so he decides to set up a phony 'photo shoot' test to try to see if she is cheating. Richard says that Yanni is scared of falling in love, and Yanni decides to use a pay phone instead of using Richard's phone whenever she gets a page. Gee, you don't think that's serious, do you?
The photo shoot cameraman is actually an actor - and his job is to get Yanni up for a date. He does more than that - actually getting her to admit that Richard is not the one for her and Yanni gives him her card ('She's always been loose with giving cards'). You can see Richard being undressed in his face - and he goes out to confront her.
Yanni - 'I am a giver' Richard - 'You gave a little too much today.' Yanni tries to talk her way out of it, but Richard is not buying what she is selling and this relationship is over.
Sarah gets called out from the live audience, where Mark tells her that someone thinks that he is her soulmate. We see the picture, and Sarah, who is shaking her head, knows exactly who this is. That sort of head shake means that she either wants him or wants to be 3,000 miles away from him. He had 2 shots to say that he liked her - and he didn't pull the trigger either time.
'I am definitely surprised - and not what I was expecting.' The surprise is named Ranak, and Sarah has that 'anywhere but here' look on her face. 'I was attracted to you the first time I saw you, but the second time...I thought that we were two different people.' Sarah does the right thing, even if it was on national television. A visible shaken Ranak can now go join Richard in the strip club that Matt was hanging out in.
But before you go out and join them, we have a second episode of fun for you!
Holli fell in love with Ben, but he is planned to marry someone else. Holli wants to go out of her way to get him back - which included setting up a billboard to send it to Ben - while his girlfriend is there. If I was Ben, I would be terrified of her and would marry the girlfriend immediately just to get rid of Holli, but Holli thinks that Ben would be 'blown away'.
'If I have an opportunity to send a message to this man, I will' says Holi, who seems seriously unhinged - I mean Billie Jeanne and Tony sort of unhinged. Matt comes out - and he has the same 'get me out of here' face that Sarah had at the end of last episode. He sees the billboard and Holli pleads her case. She would have been better with a huge mallet to conk him over the head with, because he tells Holli that he is seeing someone else. Holli makes him say it again, and he does. Claudia from the Anything For Love crew try to have Ben open up, but he's done and he leaves.
At least the psychotic blonde seemed a little more sane afterwards. 'In retrospect, this was the most important thing in my life. This was the ultimate closure, and I can move on with my life finally.' If making your ex want to shove you into a shoe box by shoving a billboard of you in his face and embarrassing you in front of millions of people gives you closure, then who am I to argue?
It's time for 'Love in an Elevator' - or in this case, sexy decoy in an elevator. Laurie will stick Jose in an elevator with the lovely Kitana, who will ask him for his phone number. We don't even need to see Jose in the elevator to know that this relationship is in trouble - Jose asks Kitana out whle they are waiting for the elevator. 'He's Done' says Laurie - and they haven't even gotten into the elevator yet. This ought to be fun.
They do get into the elevator, and Jose does indeed give her his number. Jose better hope that the elevator doesn't open for...oh...the next 500 years. No such luck - the elevator door opens, and there is Laurie. 'Is this a joke, because if you want to talk about this...' No dice, Jose, you're busted, you're done, and there will be a big night at the strip bar this evening.
And we still have time to send 2 more people there. Dan and Annie will get married right on the stage - IF they pass the Love Detector. Yes, all you Meet My Folks and Meet the Parents fans, THAT sort of Love Detector. It's a polygraph test administered by a professional - and it's 97% accurate. Annie is going to stick Dan in there to see if he has cheated or will cheat - Dan seems confident that he will pass. I don't know about this, kids.
Now for all of you people who believe that the fact that they are nervous on stage would affect the detector, the test was actually administered before the show. Dan says that the age (she is 7 and a half yeard older than her) is uncomfortable (TRUE) and that he hasn't had sexual relations with anyone from seeing Annie (LIE). Oops. Dan says that it's not true, and that it was nerves that made him answer falsely. The audience jeers at him and Marky Mark calls for a break.
We are back, and Dan is still proclaiming his innocence. Annie decides to have the wedding anyway, and we have our first and only AwwwwwBARF moment of this half hour. It would have been funny to see a woman that he had sex with pop out of the woodwork, but that doesn't happen and Dan and Annie do indeed get married. Thus ends the show, fade to black.
My take? It's cute, it's shchmaltzy, and I shamelessly like it - but not in Primetime. This is a perfect midnight or 1am show in syndication - and it beats a psychic anytime. Hopefully, if this show tanks in Primetime, FOX will realize this and at least give it a second shot on FX.
We start this week with 8 minutes worth of static - and a Love Detector test between Kameron and Kevin - and they both have shown that neither of them are ready for marraige. The one that's more guilty is Kameron, who still is sleeping with her ex. Kameron is trying to weasel her way out of it - and she asks Kevin to marry her. He says yes, and they decide to tie the knot. Huh?
We go back to love in an elevator - Richard is the guy who's loyalty is being questioned, and Jenna Lee is the worried woman who will be seeing if Richard is cheating on her. Kitana the decoy asks for his number - and he tells her that he wouldn't feel comfortable since he's seeing someone. He passes the test - and Jenna meets him in the elevator. 'Tonight when we leave here, he'll get a great reward for being such a good boyfriend.' glows Jenna Lee. Awwwwwblech.
Kristina is here from Glendale - and Marky Mark tells her that someone has a crush on her. The peron knows her is named Luis, and he's from college - and the look on her face says that she knows about him. Is she willing to be more then just friends?
Luis pops up, brings her flowers and tells her that he'd like to carry the relationship to the next level and asks her out for a date. Will Kristina return the favor? Yes she does, as she thought that he was sweet and she'd love to go out on a date with Luis. Love 3, Hate 0.
For the first time in this series, Love gets the clean sweep win. Can this happen for the second half-hour? We'll find out soon...but not until next week, because the second episode is a repeat of the very first episode from 2 weeks ago.
Have you met someone who's good to be true? Autumn does, as we start this edition of Anything For Love. She was conned by Christian - and he wants an apology. Why? What's the point of this? Sigggghhhhhh....OK.
So Autumn finds out that Christian has a girlfriend, so Anything For Love was kind enough to set Christian up in a restaurant. He thinks that he goes to a restaurant to audition for a reality show - and I guess he is - but it's not the Love Boat, as Autumn comes down to confront him. Christian's reaction is a quick one - he starts to leave the restaurant.
That doesn't work - Claudia and Autumn both confront him - and he finally breaks down. Claudia gives him a choice - they can either run an ad with him saying that he lied, he could wear it around his neck, or he can get an 'I Lied' tattoo. He gets the tattoo - and neither Autumn nor the girlfriend that he left her for has heard from him since. Not that I can blame him.
Time for story number 2. Tenecia's dream is to be a wonderful singer - and she moved out to try to live her dreams. Jeff, her current lover, is sitting out in Seattle waiting for her to come back. Jeff wants to bring Tenecia back to Seattle from Los Angeles. I don't see that hapenning, Jeff.
But this show is all about trying to make idiotic things happen. Tenecia auditions for Michael Rosenblatt - the man who discovered Madonna. Meanwhile, Jeff hires a JET PLANE to take her back to Seattle. Micahel thinks that Tenecia is special and is interested in pursuing it. Tenecia is being driven to the airport - where Jeff and his plabe are waiting. I don't see anything good happening here.
Jeff wants Tenecia to make a decision - and she gives him the answer that he doesn't want to hear. 'If you cared about me, then you would have stuck it out longer...if you did something that you wanted to do, I would follow you to the ends of the Earth...you're not giving me any other choice, so I have to stay here.' I personally think that Jeff is a prick for making her choose between him and her happiness, and I'm glad that Tenecia chose her career. Jeff doesn't deserve someone like Tenecia. Maybe he needs someone...like Christian.
Or Lori. She and John have had a great relationship, until Bella shows up - and loses 50 pounds. Lori has lost her trust with John - that's not a good sign. And I feel another ultimatum coming on - as we see Bella, who comes on all fours and whinnies. No, it's not that kinky - Bella is John's Horse.
Here comes the ultimatum - send the horse to pasture, or Lori will be looking for greener pastues. John makes this one easy - he chooses Lori, and Bella gets to go to the glue factory. 'I never realized it was that bad, and I never realized that you disliked her that much.' So John hugs Lori and love finally wins one, even if it fels like love sometimes prefers to horse around.
After a Vegas break, we are back on the scene - and back for 3 more scenes. The first one features the all-encompassing live engagement proposal on the stage bit - the players in this one are Adam and Christine. Adam is the guy who wants to do the proposing, and Christine is the skeptical woman who has seen their relationship break up because of Adam's unfaithfulness.
On this show, the 'engagements on the stage' segment has not had a very good winning percentage in favor of love. It takes another hit when we find out that the cameras have followed Adam to a bar to see if he has really changed. Adam knows that it's a set up, as the cameras are there for an hour or two while he's hanging out. What Adam doesn't know - but what Mark tells him - is that there were hidden cameras that were there after the visible cameras left. Uh-oh. Adam's face changes color and I see another strike out in the love department looming.
I am not disappointed - although it took a while. Here comes the blond decoy and Adam falls for her hook, line and sinker. She starts riding on a mechanical bull, and she succeeds in steering him in the wrong direction. Flirting, kissing and hugging ensue, and it culminates in him writing his phone number on the model's hand.
Adam is trying to tell Christine that he knew that it was a setup, but that is one piece of bull that Christine is not buying. She turns down Adam's request for an engagement and Adam gets thrown off the bucking bronco faster than a cowboy can snap off a piece of beef jerky. It's time for Adam to go back to the dog and pony show.
Eric doesn't want any more of the show - he's found the mare of his dreams in the form of Lisa. Their relationship has gotten to the critical point that Eric wants to ask for Lisa's hand in marriage. Here's the catch - if Lisa says yes, the wedding will begin IMMEDIATELY.
The show rents a hotel room and sets it up for a wedding atmosphere. Meanwhile, all of the relatives are invited - even Eric's mom from Mississippi - except all of the relatives think that they are only there for a party. Only Eric knows that there could be a wedding - or it could be a broken up relationship. He seems pretty sure that she will say yes, and he seems sane enough, so I think she will probably go along with it. After I see Eric asking Lisa's dad permission for marriage and he says yes, I am very sure - even though the guests aren't as adamant as I am once he informs everyone what exactly will be going on.
Here comes Lisa - and she is immediately greeted with a veil plopped on her head and a walk to the alter from her dad. Sure, give the woman a chance to breathe, why don't you? Eric proposes to Lisa, and after a few eons...I mean minutes - she says yes. Everyone cheers and we get a hotel wedding with the bride wearing supermarket shopping clothes.
Our final segment of the evening introduces us to Brandy. She is here on stage - and Mark shows her that there is someone in the crowd who admires her. The admirer is Mike - whom is someone that she has known for 5 years. Unlike previous secret stage crushes, Mark this time gives Brandy the option to send him away without hearing his 5 minute spiel that has made previous guests embarrassed to be on stage, but Brandy wants to hear what Mike has to say.
Mike has said that after 5 years, he wants to take the 'friend' relationship to another level. Brandy says that she was really hoping that it was indeed Mike who had the crush on her and she would love to take the next level as well. Finally, we get someone who is actually happy to see someone pursuing them. They swap saliva and we get a happy ending to close out the show.
I was so convinced that this show aired it's last episode that I already put it in the archive section. Oops. Well, the show still has some life left in it, so here we are, recapping some more episodes.
Courtney is being torn between her online lover Yorgo and her ex-boyfriend David. Yorgo? What sort of a name is Yorgo? Anyways, after David dumped Courtney, Yorgo was more than happy to say hi. They have never met - but Yorgo is planning on it.
David wants to derail those plans - and I mean derail - with a one way ticket to Phoenix. Courtney will take the train - but unbeknownst to her, Yorgo will also be on that train - with a whole car to himself. It just happens to set up that Courtney has to go into Yorgo's car to get to her own cabin - and they meet.
Courtney meets Yorgo - and she admits that she'd rather see David, but 'you give me strength that I need in order to do this.' Courtney didn't realize that Yorgo was falling for her like she did and she blows him off like he was yesterday's leftover salmon. Yorgo is left at the station while Courtney is taking the train into David's arms.
Yorgo's reaction? "Im a little pissed off...all she was thinking about was herself.' Boomerang anyone? Just another reason to NOT date anyone who just got out of a relationship.
But we are not playing with boomerangs in the second segment - we're talking baseball. Tim is a sports fanatic - and he has been choosing that over Courtney (yes, a different Courtney). She is inviting Tim to Dodger's stadium with a diamond ring (which Tim has had for the past 5 months) - and a shotgun wedding. Tim's friends have shown up - but they are there because they think that they are there to meet some Dodgers. Tim himself may be doing some dodging himself if he doesn't go through with the wedding.
Tim is out on the field - and he is reading the sign over the outfield. The scoreboard says that there is a surprise - and Courtney comes walking onto the field. She comes out and delivers the wedding ring ultimatum. TIm says that he doesn't want to do this now, and Courtney responds with 'it shouldn't have to come to this in a reality show.'
Tim still hems and haws and Courtney decides that she isn't going to get married with Tim. Tim tries to protest, but Courtney leaves the Diamond - and feels like TIm has struck out looking. This woman has issues. She dumps Tim like a sack of potatoes and has moved on with her life. Tim decides to stay watching baseball.
Finally, we have Bart. Bart was the big fat kid in school - but he lost a lot of weight - 125 pounds in a year. Now Bart has a crush on this woman named Tiffany, who he went to high school with - and that is the woman who they bring down this evening. Will she be able to see right through him, so to speak?
Tiffany is brought out from Mark - and she knows that someone has a crush on her. She says that she doesn't know who he is - but the look on her face when she sees the high school picture betrays her, and she says that he is not her type.
That tune changes when she sees him come out. Bart does ask her out on a date with her - and she says yes. I don't know how much of that was sincere and how much of that was the realization that she would be toasted if she didn't - but she does, and the audience awwwwws. That ends this show - will that end the series? Only time will tell...
Anything for Love is back - after a 3 week hiatus. We start in a touchy situation with a Rajean and Miriam - and he is wondering if the time that they spend together is meaningful - or if she falls for temptation. She gets a massage - and reveals that she isn't sure how serious her relationship. The sound that you just heard is the money going back into Rajean's pocket for an engagement ring.
She ends the therapy session with getting the masseurs phone number. RaJean ends the relationship by confronting Miriam about what sort of things that she was saying. She says that they are serious - but her giving him the phone number for him was the last straw. Her response? 'You can trust me, or you can trust whatever you just saw.' She tries to cuddle with him, but he's not buying what she is selling and he walks out. He decides to take a break, and Miriam gets dumped.
The next person has had experience in the process of being dumped - Richard got turned down by Jessica - and he wants another shot at it. How desperate is he? Willing enough for her to be taken by limo to see a secret admirer - which would be himself. It sounds like he's loopy - but him and Jessica have spoken over the phone by the past few months, so the rendevous in Laguna Beach may not be as far-fetched as it seems.
Jessica is told that a secret admirer has set her up to meet her. Jessica is hoping that her 'special friend' is behind this - and it looks like that the friend could be Rick, as we see her reaction. He gets down on one knee and asks for marriage - and she says that she will. 'I love him - he's my dearest friend in the world.' Chalk up a win for the special friends in the world.
Donny has three special friends - and they are all his housemates. But he was the love jones for one of them - and their rules is that you can not go out with any of the people in the house. Kara, Allison and Katie are the three beautiful girls who are being brought to the stage. They think that they are looking for a woman for Donny - but Donny is here to tell them that he has found that person - and it its one of them.
The person who he wants to ask out is...Katie, who is shocked. Donny asks her to go out - and is willing to post up the 30 day notice if need be. Katie says that she never thought of him as boyfriend material, but she's be up to trying to once and she throws away the 30 day notice.
So the roommates stay intact. We'll see what three new stories get to room with each other on the next episode.
So how do we guarantee that a show will not be back? When you shot it every 2 weeks and make it a double header showing, that's how. Anyways, let's see what we got in store for this week...
John wants to win Kirstin back. John wanted Kirstin to make a decision between him and her work - and we all know what happens when you stick someone in that situation. He sets the ultimate date up - Kirstin goes to L.A. for the weekend and pampers her for the whole affair - which will culminate in him giving her an engagement ring. Will he be engaging enough for kirstin?
We continue the action with Kirstin in the jewelry store - when she sees John and laughs. She seems excited to see him - and John pours out his heart to her. He is trembling and whispering when he gives her the ring. Her smile becomes a grimace, and I think I know what's coming. Kirstin is about to shatter John into little pieces of china. 'I can't, John...I gave this 2 1/2 years to work...you deserve to find someone who loves you as much as you deserve to be loved...you deserve someone who loves you - and I don't love you as much as you deserve to be loved. I'm sorry.'
John says that he keeps dreaming about her and him together, and he turns on the tears. That doesn't work, and she tried to be as gentle as she can, but a dump is still a dump. We get the last quote from John - 'She had a chance, so it's over, I have to let go of that dream now.'
Patricia hopes that her dream with Justin doesn't turn into a nightmare - but she is noticing that the passion isn't there anymore, and that concerns her. She sets up a masseuse for a massage - but of course, this is all being video taped for Patricia to see.
The massage goes as planned, with nothing going on. Then the decoy asks for a phone number, but Justin doesn't give it, as he is serious about his relationship. Patricia is thrilled, as she lets him know about the test. She apologizes that she tested him. 'You're good. You're really good.' As for Justin?'I'm glad that she put this to rest and that she knows about my feelings for her.'
Someone wants to let their feelings be known about Holli, who if you remember, was the psychotic vixen who tried to woo his boyfriend back by sticking a billboard of her in order to woo Ben back. (If you don't remember, check out June 16 for the recap). After her segment ended, the phones flooded with other psycho...I mean men who think that they can handle Holli. We meet Holli live - and she says that she closed that chapter between her and Ben. Uh-huh.
Marky Mark tells her that she has some admirers - and one of them is in the audience, waiting to woo her. His name is Joe, and his story goes like this - 'When she called (Ben) his soulmate, I said 'No, I'm your soulmate.' He brings up a big picture for her, and he looks just as psychotic as she does. She would love to meet him, and she didn't look too thrilled about seeing that pic. I can't blame her...
Joe talks to Holli, and says that she is gorgeous. 'I came all the way out from Delaware...' Holli thanks him - but she is already seeing 'the love of her life' right now. Wow - well, that was a quick boomerang. She does thank Joe, who looks like he could eat the picture of him.
That ends the first episode - we get a quick halftime, and then we get to see part 2...
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You back from going to the bathroom and picking up some chips? Good. We start off this episode with Jeff, who's sharing his woman, Stacy, with millions of people. ad Stacy is a...um....errr....model (draw your own conclusions here) for Playboy (ok, no more conclusions needed to draw). Jeff wants her to stop modeling in order for them to get married. This is usually a bad, bad, idea, but Stacy would actually do it - if he gets married - right away. 'After 4 years, he better be ready to get married.'
That's the hook - will Jeff marry Stacy immediately? 'Jeff better say yes.' says Stacy, who says that if he doesn't, the relationship is over. Jeff says that he is ready to get married - to the right girl. I have the feeling that as long as Stacy says yes to no modeling, he'll say yes - but his face changes when he sees the building called 'The Little Red Chapel.' 'Oh My G-d.' Yep.
Stacy comes out - in a hot black leather outfit - the outfit that she met Jeff first in. That's not the way to woo someone if she wants to marry him - but she tells him that she will stop modeling. She promises him - and he says 'Of course.' I love it when I call this. 'I figure that if she's willing to give up all this, then I am willing to give a commitment to her...to make sure that things work out right.' They are pronounced husband and wife, and we get an AwwwwwBarf from the writer.
For the second straight episode, we get the fake masseur. Why must everything be a fame masseuse? What about a fake car washer, or a fake piano salesman, or a fake...well...ok, fine, a fake masseur. The man with the suspicions is Mike, the woman who is the suspect is Heather, and this seems to be a normal routine - with a twist. Unlike the other episodes, Mike doesn't immediately tell Heather, but she is backstage - and she now knows about the tape. Both of them will be seeing the tape for the first time, and I see nothing good coming out of this - especially when you see Heather backstage, with the eyes that look like 'Mike, I will kill you, eat you, and eat your children' look.
We get to see the tape - and the masseur asks - and gets permission - to get his shirt off. He asks her out - and she tells him that she has a serious boyfriend. Mike is thrilled about it - until he finds out that Heather is here - and that Mike set her up. Let's see the fun unfold...'I can't believe it...how can you set me up like that when you're the one who cheated on me?' Ooooh...Marky Mark didn't tell us about that...
The audience hoots at Mike and he says that he wanted to show her what it feels like - but she calls it correctly, and tells him that he wanted leverage on her in case she actually cheated. 'I swear if you do this again, I'm out of this.' There seems to be more here than meets the eye - much more water under the current bridge. Mike ends it by hugging Heather - but it really seems like this relationship is in deep trouble, and we won't get a conclusion to this one.
Elena wants Kelly to commit - but Kelly doesn't want to. So what does Linda decide to do about it? She decides to end his bachelor lifestyle by redecorating his place. 'I want me and my friends to come over and redecorate his place and making it my own place.' Oh, that is probably the worst thing you can do to a guy - I would scream bloody murder and file for divorce immediately if that happened to my place - and my friends have tried to do it to me on more than one occasion - going so far as to collect everything and put it in big plastic bags. Thanks, guys.
So Kelly comes back from what he thinks is a reality show about single guys (do you guys see an inherent problem here if he stars on a show on SINGLE guys when he's been dating her for FOURTEEEN Years??) and Kelly sees that Elena has moved in. Quite frankly, he's in awe. 'Oh, sh%^&%t.' Elena comes over to tell him the wonderful news. 'Are you f$cking kidding me? Oh no.' Kelly sees the changes - and after recovering from the initial shock, he says it will have to grow on him. Elena tells him that she is going to move in with him because she loves him, and he loves her back. He says it's a little different - and he's a little overwhelmed, but he will let her live with him. 'I love her - she's my heart. I'm the happiest man right now.' They get all mushy and that ends the segment.
That also ends the show. We'll see when (or if) we get another recap...well..when, or if, we get another recap.
