THE RECAPS
STORMSEEKER.COM RECAPS! Reality editor Gordon Pepper provides
recaps of each show.
January 21, 2003
'You think you know me....' - Edge's theme.
So why would a computer geek like me be interested in covering this sort of show? I graduated college with a Music and Communications Double Major. In high school, I made Regionals, All-State and All-Eastern is percussion, and I also have perfect pitch, to boot. I still perform in both percussion and singing, and the last recent concert that I performed in was the 'Downtown Messiah' in December at The Bottom Line Nightclub and at the WIntergarden at the Financial Center (right next to the World Trade Center) It was an emotional rush to perform right next to Ground Zero - an experience beyond compare.
But enough about me. The reason why I bring this up is because 1. That's my background on why I wanted to cover American Idol, and 2. Since I have perfect pitch, I want to relate to you thst if people are out of tune, to me thats the equivalent of taking Freddy Krueger's bladed hand and scraping it down a black board. It's also like taking a cat, sticking it in a vat of boiling water, and keeping it there for 30 minutes, until the cat is nice and poached and is served with mashed potatoes and a fine red wine.
There was a cat symphony this past Tuesday night on the premiere of American Idol 2.
But lets not put the cart before the horse (or cat, in this case). The three judges, (Singer Paul Abdul, Record Producer Randy Jackson and everyone's favorite critic, UK Record Executive Simon Cowell) are back to puncture more egotistical balloons. Also returning is Ryan Seacrest (though his co-star does not).
We start in Miami, with 6,000 people, then we go to Detroit with 6,000 people. Next is Nashville - with 5,000 people, followed with the 6,500 in Atlanta. They also had 6,000 people in Austin audition. The overwhelming majority of them were awful.
11,000 people in Los Angeles - and most of them were rotten too. Here are some of the better put downs - 'They said you went to Fame High School - did you get thrown out?' - (Simon). 'Did you ever try to start the car, and the car won't start and it goes wrrrr-wrrr-wrrrr - that's what you sounded like' - (Randy).
This time around, the contestants can answer back in the American Idol Focus Room - and they are not nearly as clever as the judges. Another new item this year is the interview with the potential Superstars as they move up the ranks - and Kristin Holt (one of the potential Superstars from last season - yes, the table woman) will be doing the honors.
We first see my city - the Big Apple. 9,000 people showed up to audition, and most of them were - you guessed it - awful. 'You could be the worst singer in New York' (Simon).
To make it even more embarrassing, they put the names of the singers who sing badly on the TV, so we can all ridicule them - like Chriss, who gets this from Simon 'If you were living 2,000 years ago and sung like that, they would have stoned you'. I won't mention any last names, but it was pretty bad.
New York finally gets their first talented singers in the form of Cara and Rhian Morgan, 17 year old twins from Macedon, NY. They do sound decent - but there's one problem - there can only be one American Idol. Simon tells them that only one of them can go forward, but one won't go without the other, and Paula agrees. The judges do compromise and send them both to Hollywood (but I don't see them getting into the finals).
But back to the bad singing - Nathaniel (I'm not putting up the last names of the rotten singers to spare the humiliation to the singer and his kin) decided to be original with ripped up pants. He also sounds like he had a ripped up throat - and he and Simon get into it, with Simon, of course, getting the upper-hand.
Simon - 'I think the reality is that I've heard better people sing outside Subway Stations'
Nate - 'That's fine, but I worked really really hard'.
Simon - 'So do they'
Nate - 'Do they stand outside in the cold for 2 days?'
Simon - 'Well, if they're outside, yes.'
The three judges tell Nate that he's horrible, but he decides to attack them on the fact that they don't sing. 'You dont have to bring people down....you did not have to say that I was horrible.'
Simon 'But you were horrible' (Yes he was)
Nate - 'So were you'
Simon - ''Fine...we have something in common.'
Time to go back to singing school for Nate, as he rants, calling Randy fat, telling Simon he's an A$$hole, and storming out. 'He took that well' said Simon. This is the core of American Idol - and a very entertaining core at that.
But we wouldn't have this show if it wasn't for people who sang well - and for two of these contestants, there is a sub-plot to it. Kristin Barrera and Janine Falsone, know each other - Kristin's current boyfriend is Janine's ex. They are both here to try out for the show. Kristin goes first - and she belts out a nice tune. The judges agree, and Kristin gets to go to Hollywood.
Janine is next - and she is not as strong as Kristin. Janine requests a do-over. She gets it and redeems herself. They also send her to go to Hollywood, but not before exchanging this dialogue between Simon and Paula:
Simon - 'Im just bored today'
Paula - 'I could stand naked in front of you, for that matter everyone in this room can stand naked dancing the hula-hula.'
Simon - 'I would agree with you - if you stood naked in front of me, I would not get excited.'
Ouch. But both women make it - and this could be really interesting later on down the road. Christopher is not that interesting at all - but Simon makes it interesting. 'If you were to win, and sing a song, you would kill The American industry...you could possibly be the worst singer in New York.'
As a joke, they take Christopher around to see if there's anyone worse than him - they can't find anyone and they eventually leave him singing alone on a street corner. Too bad he couldn't find Nate.
Julia Demato, a hairdresser from Connecticut, was so terrified that she wrote the lyrics to the song on her hand when she sings. She didn't need to. She belted out a sweet rendition of 'Unbreak my heart'. They tell her that she's great job, and she breaks down. She hugs Paula and tells Simon - 'You scared the Sh#t out of me.' Awwwwwwbarf.
We find the first male vocalist who goes to Hollywood - Danny Rodriguez, who does an interesting rendition of 'Fly Me To The Moon' (The pitch was there, the tone wasn't, but I guess you need SOME male representation from NYC, don't you?)
Cynthia is next, but she forgets the words. 'It wasn't dreadful, it wasn't horrible - it was absolutely ghastly.' (Simon). I don't think she was that bad, but 'There's only so much punishment that a human being can take.' (Simon). She was better than they next bunch of contestants that come in. It went so bad, that the judged came in and told the people that the talent so far has been awful, and 'How bad do you want it?'
Tirrell Anthony, from Brooklyn NY, wants it - and Paula likes his voice (though I don't), Randy agrees with me, while Simon likes the voice, but doesn't like the image. Tirrell says that 'Mr. Luther Vandross' told him that he has a special voice. 'Would you invest 1 or 2 million dollars of your money into Tirrell?' says Simon. Paula says yes, and she convinces Simon - but Simon tells Tirrell to change his image before coming to Hollywood. We'll see how successful Terrell is in doing that.
Frenchie Davis is next - and her friends raised money to send her to NYC. Now she is - shall I say - 'full-bodied' - so let's see if that image holds true. She has a very nice voice. They all applaud her performance. 'I was waiting for that for the past 4 days' says Randy. They unanimously send her to tinseltown.
On to Miami we go. Unlike New York, the people got to sleep out on the beach (awww, poor babies). At least New York does not hoard all of the bad singers - there were plenty to go around in Florida. Terra is next - and the Mariah Carey wanna-be is not remotely close to her singing caliber. 'Terra, there is only one resemblance to Mariah Carey - your hair'. (Randy) Ouch.
Heidi Hall is the first good singer in Miami. Her mom braves it out with her, and it pays off, she sings a nice version of 'When I fall in love' and she goes to LA.
Natalie Galan joins her with a nice Sarah mclaughlin (Angel) song. She gets in barely, 2-1 (Paula says no) and cries in her mom's arms after realizing that she's in. Lots of girls from Miami get in, but Sean Campos wants to be the first successful R and B Asian male - and he is by far the best male so far. He gets in 3-0 and celebrates by chest-bumping his friend, and then chest-bumping Ryan.
We also find the worst (and possibly scariest) contestant on American Idol - Edgar. He brutalizes Enrique Iglesias' 'Escape' Randy - 'I have one phrase for you. 'Don't sing ever anymore'. Edgar disagrees - 'I want to hear from (Simon) Cowell'. Are you sure of that? Heeeeere's SIMON! - 'You're one of the worst singers I have ever heard in my life.' Edgar, still in Dreamland, still thinks he is going to L.A. Maybe he can get there if he spends some money for airline tickets.
And the insults keep on coming. 'You're going to school for pharmacy? Good, I may need some medication after that.' (Randy). Bashir is next - and he is good on every facet - except his voice. Randy agrees with me, but Paula and Simon say that everything else outweighs the lack of singing, citing that most pop stars today do not have a good voice. They give him a pass to go to Hollywood.
Back comes Edgar - and he tells the producers that the judges wanted him to come back. They obviously don't, and Edgar gets stopped, escorted out by security and banned from the building. Maybe if FOX does 'Psychotic Idol', Edgar will be coming back.
But the judges do not come back to Miami - they come to Austin. This is a rugged terrain - and with them comes some rugged singing. Unfortunately, 'rugged' is not an adjective used with good singing. Dana Clark brought 27 members of her fan club with her - this will either be a great celebration of a huge disappointment. I've heard better, but she's not bad, and she should be good enough to go to CA. And she does, getting in by a score of 2-1 (Simon being the dissenter).
Kimberly Caldwell is next - She has a booming sweet voice, with a nice twang to it. That, plus her Christina Aguilera outfit, should make her a shoo-in, and she is, 3-0. Cedric comes in a bright yellow suit, and he starts out well, but the pitch falters and his choreography does him in. 'Not even for Bulgarian Idol' (Simon). Cedric came down by himself - and he's stranded. On one hand, you can't help but feel sorry for him, but on the other hand, what sort of moron comes all the way out there with no place to stay? Oops.
Coffey's clock is ticking - in more ways than one - he has a kid on the way. I think he should be going back to his kid, but I think his voice will be passable enough to go to Hollywood. He survives with a 2-1 vote (and yes, he does come back in time to see little Coffey Jr's birth.). Jacob John Smalley, who's next, blows Coffey's performance out of the water with Shyne's 'Should I Fall in Love' and should get in easily. He does, as he clicks with the judges, 3-0. Katherine Edmonson should be joining the guys with a sassy edition of 'Fever'. Randy says no (which surprised me) but Paula and Simon overrule him, and off to CA she goes. 36 people get selected to go from Texas - the most people form one state so far.
On our next episode, we will see LA, Detroit and more, but first,
AMERICAN IDOL - WHERE ARE THEY NOW????
As you all know, all of the American Idol finalists went out on tour together and were one big happy family (blech). We spend the first 5 minutes discussing the tour. But after the last song was sung, everyone goes out on their own way.
(I'll also start out that maybe they were not as much of a big happy family as previously thought, as neither Ejay Day nor Jim Verraros gets a profile on what they are doing now. Whatever the black sheep of the family are doing now, your guess is as good as mine).
Tamyra Gray now has a contract with Babyface and will be having a new CD coming out in 2003. She also has been in Boston Public.
A.J. Gil - 'I'm looking around for the best deal available' (which means that he probably hasn't done squat).
Ryan Starr is recording and has gotten acting and modelling deals. She is pursuing a new musical style - but she is also pursuing designing - and is working on new fashions.
Christina Christian still hasn't finished college yet, but she has been working as a correspondent for FOX, MTV and other entertainment networks. Christina will be an American Idol insider for TV Guide.
R.J. Helton was sighted singing the Star Spangled Banner at the WUSA Championship and was also doing Old Navy commercials with Ryan (Seacrest), Christina, Nikki and Tamyra.
Nikki McKibbin runs a Karaeoke bar in Michigan, and is taking her sweet time to make a new album.
Justin Guarini got to be on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Float. He's also in the midst of making a new movie musical with him and Kelly Clarkson.
Kelly Clarkson has been all over the place (which as the winner is to be expected) such as Leno, Regis, etc. She also sang in Las Vegas with her own idol - Reba McIntyre. Kelly had a number one hit (A Moment Like This) which jumped from 52 to 1. Unfortunately, the American Idol people are trying to rewrite history by saying that the song has had the quickest jump - that's not true. There have been a few songs that have debuted at number 1, including 'We Are The World' by USA For Africa). And, of course, the movie with Justin.
We'll be back tomorrow to see which people have a shot to be on a future 'Where Are They Now?' American Idol.
January 22, 2003 January 28, 2003 January 29, 2003 February 4, 2003 February 5, 2003 February 11, 2003 February 12, 2003 February 18, 2003 February 19, 2003 February 25, 2003 February 26, 2003 March 4, 2003 March 5, 2003 March 11, 2003 March 12, 2003 March 18, 2003 March 19, 2003 March 25, 2003 March 26, 2003 April 1, 2003 April 2, 2003 April 8, 2003 April 9, 2003 April 15, 2003 April 16, 2003 April 21, 2003 April 22, 2003 April 23, 2003 April 29, 2003 April 30, 2003 May 6, 2003 May 7, 2003 May 13, 2003 May 14, 2003 May 19, 2003 May 20, 2003 May 21, 2003
We continue the first round search of American Idol in Los Angeles. We see our first real glimpse of Ms. Kristin Holt interviewing the people who are camped out of the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. 11,000 people line up and the contestants who get stickered gets moved over to a local hotel.
Paula arrives early to give some love to some of the contestants, while Simon comes in fashionably on time for California. fashionably on time would be equal to around thirty minutes late, which of course makes the contestants even crankier than they ordinarily would be.
Equioa Coleman got bit by a poisonous spider and has to sing in a cast. Fortunately for her, the spider didn't take away any musical talent. 'Why haven't you been signed to a recording contract yet?' asks Simon, as they unanimously pass her.
But not everyone is that good. The cats are coming out for the poor boy who did 'Celebration'. 'You will never ever in a million years make it as a singer.' (SINON). We also had someone who looked like a lion (I guess looks are everything), but the sound is pretty rotten.
The first male who is passable is James. I dont like him as much as the voices on yesterday, but the judges unanimously pass him. Robin is next, as her mom (who is more nervous than she is) is waiting outside. After her first song, Paula asks her to sing something more upbeat. Her mom, waiting outside, asks, 'What are they asking her to do, sing the whole list?', and adds, 'You're not going to make a big mistake unless you're bogus.' Well, the judges are not bogus (since Paula does advance), but if she didn't, mom would have 'pulled out his (SIMON's) testicles. I don't care what happens to them.'
Speaking of lack of testicles, Anthony sounds like he has no testosterone whatsoever. He is 6'7" and his voice sounds like he hasn't hit puberty. His musical talent hasn't grown in yet either. 'I think you're amazing - amazingly dreadful. I think that no one else on the planet will ever sound like you - thank God.' (SIMON) Even Ryan makes fun of him. Anthony in the after interview tells Simon to bite his little thing attached to his testicles.
Carrie Hunt belts out God Bless America, which I think is a bit strong. Simon thinks she is brilliant and its a unanimous. Another patriotic guy is Daniel, but in singing the Star Spangled Banner, he forgets and not only mangles up the music, he mangles up the words. 'You're in a class of your own...your one of the worst singers that I've ever heard in my life.' A real patriotic guy, Joshua, who is in the corp, will be singing a song from O-Town. He's not bad, and is actually better than the first guy who was on. The judges all agree, and mission accomplished for Joshua, who gives out a little wolf howl and a call to his sister.
Alyson sings 'I'll take you there' - and takes them to the land of no lyrics. She sings another song - and she was better when there was no lyrics. She falls into the trap of nerves. Simon says yes, but Paula and Randy says no - Alyson wants another shot, but the judges aren't going to give it to her. Despite the rejection, she continues to sing - and Simon continues to say yes, while Paula continues to say no. She is pleading with Randy, who is actually making her kiss Simon - which she does, and then kisses everyone else for good measure. Alyson is begging with Randy, and he finally gives in and Alyson gets to move on to the second round.
Other people don't get that second, third or fourth shot. We get a montage of really bad singers. We have another set of twins who come in - Who were there last year and sing 'Give me One More Chance' 'No' (SIMON). They say that he is naive, but Randy and Paula side with Simon. 'When you two were singing, you were out of tune.' (RANDY) 'You should go out, don't buy any money on singing lessons, go buy out a realistic attitude' (SIMON) 'We came out on top' say the twins 'And we'll be back'. Only if you take singing lessons.
Marie comes in and says that she'll be happy even if they say that she's the worst singer in the world. The positive attitude didn't work. 'You may have felt the music, the music didn't feel you.' (SIMON) The last we see of Marie is her cursing out the judges in the back on the feedback camera.
Then we have another blond African American with red streaks 'If you can imagine Linda Blair in the exorcist singing, while she was tied up in the bed, you were singing like you were six people...that's not a compliment.' (SIMON). Then we have Dino. 'No matter what they take from me, they take away my dignity.' They took away your vocal talent, Dino. Randy is cringing while Dino's singing and Dino is staring at the ceiling, not noticing. He notices when he's done. 'Have you ever been on a farm...(you are imitating) the sheep trying to sing. Baaaaaaaah.' (RANDY).
Melody comes in dressed like Dorothy to sing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' in a bizarre fashion, the mangles the melody, but the voice is good - good enough to get in - 'As long as you click her heels' (RANDY). She does, and she gets to Hollywood, which is a lot further away than Kansas.
Next up is someone who is dressed like Tarzan. Paula likes the voice, though the image is rotten. 'I couldn't disagree with you more.' says Simon, who says no. Randy gives him the benefit of the doubt and Tarzan leaves the jungle.
Those are the highlights of the men - the rest are, well, I'll let Simon say it. 'I quit....You can't sing'. (SIMON). Enter J.D. Adams, who is related to the presidential Adams. I don't like him, his tone is off, but he is in tune, so I'm betting that the judges will like him. 'Thank you God...Brilliant.' says Simon. The other two judges agree and the presidential relation brings him into Hollywood. 44 people in total qualify from the city of the roses.
Next up is Detroit - the motor city. But is it also the vocal city? The early results seem to be no. 7,000 people braved the 25 degree weather. Bill was up first, and people who thought that he was homeless gave him stuff. Apparently, his singing talent needs a new home too, because it wasn't in his body. 'It was a flat unemotional audition' (SIMON). Bill tells Simon to kiss his a$$. Antoine the Lifeguard is next, and he doesn't do much better. 'If your life guard duties were as good as your singing, lots of people would be drowning.' (SIMON)
Dennis, an ex-stripper is next. 'Your problem is that if you want to be successful, A. You have to have talent, and B. You have to be a role model, You can't be a role model walking around like that...and you don't have any talent.' (SIMON). Dennis tells Randy to continue to eat.
Kewanna finally gets Detroit on the winning track with a powerful voice. The music was off, but the sound may be good enough to get her through. The judges barely pass her - but in she goes, and Kewanna thanks Jesus and grandma.
The next three people have ok tones, but you can't understand what they are saying. Tea may not be able to understand what she's saying - she has an attack of nerves. She uses a chair to strut out a version of 'Sweet Thang' - she's better off on concentrating on the song instead of the skit - because she was good until she started moving around - then the sweet thang turned sour. 'You didn't make any eye contact with us, so you were viewing something, instead of us enjoying it. (PAULA) 'You were on every key. Terrible.' (RANDY) 'There's always other shots...the chair, on the other hand, had potential' (SIMON).
The next woman. Kimmie, gets in. 'Simon even liked me, cool', shouts Kimmie, who jumps up and down and screams. 16 Year old Michael Craig does a weird version of 'What's Goin' On', but he was in tune, and Paula likes it. Simon, though not liking the performance value, agrees, and Randy makes it unanimous. The first man gets in.
Karissia's mom didn't her to get in. The song that she picked was completely wrong for her, but her voice sounded well. The problem is that Karissia doesn't want to go home, because she doesn't want to face her parents, who want her to do something other than singing.
The judges probably hoped that some people had parents like Karissia, 'There's a line in the song that says everything - When I'm bad, I'm so bad.' (SIMON) 'Im starting to believe that the Mo has left the Town'. (RANDY) Randy (a singer) tried to do a song and dance. 'As bad as your dancing was, your singing was even worse' (SIMON). A French Elvis impersonator doesn't help out things. 'That's got to be the worst I ever heard' (RANDY) 'They say you got fired for singing...I would have fired you for singing there...that was absolutely atrocious.' (SIMON)
Ryan has to wake up the next person, who fell asleep - Frederick - and for all purposes, his vocal chords were still sleeping. This is the quote of the week, and possibly describes the judges mood at this point. 'Can I just say one thing, and I want to thank you for this - you have summarized Detroit for us'. (SIMON)
Nicole is called 'Lady Tiger', and she is sleeping on the street and is a female boxer. Unfortunately, it's her vocal chords that take a knock out. 'Nicole, you just didn't make the grade - it's as simple as that.' (SIMON) As a single parent (her husband was murdered), Nicole has to take her kid back out ad look for another way out of the city. 'You ain't goin' nowhere in Detroit....I'm a Christian and I'm keeping my dreams.' Very heartwarming, but it's not about being heartwarming - it's about singing - and only 22 people in Detroit make it to the second round.
Next time around - we'll be finishing up Round 1 Auditions, and we get to find out who the worst singer of the world is (I bet you just can't wait for that, eh?).
We are down to the last 2 cities - Atlanta and Nashville. Will we be experiencing some down home southern comfort? Or will Simon, Randy and Paula want to down a lot of Southern Comfort booze after hearing these guys sing?
Well, in this case, the booze hounds will only be Simon and Randy. Paula had a previous engagement, so the crowd instead gets Randy and a VERY Cranky Simon. So what will those Atlantans expect from Simon? 'I'm not in a great mood today...I'm going to give you some advice - We will judge you, not just on your singing ability - we will judge you on how you walk in the room, we will judge you based on your singing, and most of you won't be able to do that...and we will also judge you based on how you react to positive and also negative criticism.'
Nickie Nickolson, the first person to go on, makes Simon less cranky. She gets in with flying colors. Jessica Cox also gets in, and tells everyone. 'If you go in there and be yourself, and they are not that bad people. (sic)'
Johnny didn't take that advice. He sings one of Simon's favorite songs - 'Ain't no Mountain High Enough.', which turns into 'Can't get him done quick enough.' Simon - 'Well, it was one of my favorite songs.'
Omega combines singing (well she calls it singing) with an aerobic workout. She combines it into performance art. 'All I was thinking about when you were performing, was how I can pay you to stop.' - Simon. She says that when she gets famous she will invite them to her show and she can judge them. I hope not.
Clay Aiken looks like a geek - but he has a good voice. 'You don't look like a pop star, but you've got a great voice.' says Simon, as he and Randy agree with me. Clayton gets to go to Hollywood - and he hugs Kristin Holt on the way out.
But not all of the guys get the better of the doubt. Joshua Reece actually sounds pretty good, and quite honestly, they let people with worse voices advance to Hollywood, but Simon says 'You don't sing like a pop singer - you sing like a cabaret singer. I can imagine you on a boat in the Caribbean...you can make a living out of your voice, but you're not coming to Hollywood.' I think Josh got rooked, Josh thinks he got rooked, and the words continue when Simon comes out - with a policeman. The verbal sparring continues, which culminates in Simon saying, 'Fine, don't work on a boat, then.' This is really the first person that they rejected that I don't agree with.
Make this one the second. Maria Ward sings a song called 'Taker forever and Shove it up your A$$.' I liked the song but not the voice that was singing it. Simon and Randy liked the creativity, and she gets to go to the next round. Maria gets a hug from her husband. So they leave a nice crooner out and put the vulgar woman in? Wha?
Mitchell Asa has a funky shirt - and I don't think he's as good as the boat singer. Simon hates the shirt. 'This is one of the worst shirts that I have seen throughout...the good news is that you have a fantastic voice...wrap (the shirt) into a ball and give it back to Ryan (Seacrest).' Mitchell does just that - and he advances.
Making matters worse is Joshua Strickland, who looks like Ryan's lost brother from South Carolina - and he sounds like it. Once again, the judges have taken a leave of their vocal senses. Simon - 'On a positive note...you can sing well...I think it's very important that you have role models in your life. But what I would suggest is to always try and find a good role model. I think you have possibly seen maybe Ryan Seacrest too much on TV...really try and move away from that.' Ryan comes in. Simon - 'I want to see what you will look like in 20 years...would you promise me that you will move as far away from Ryan as possible, image-wise?' Joshua does get in, as Simon will get to make fun of him some more.
Vanessa Olivarez, who arrives in a punk outfit and a nice sparkly mohawk, comes in and sings 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. She's passable, and should get in. The judges and I finally get back on the agreeing track and she gets to go to Hollywood - and as a reward she lies down on Ryan.
Keith is telling Kristin about him - not about his singing, but about how he has grown out his hair - that's not a good sign. A worse sign is when he opens his mouth. He does a perfect vocal style of Madonna's 'Like a Virgin', gyrations and all. There's only two problems; 1. He doesn't sound like Madonna (maybe her younger sister, Craponya), and 2. He's a guy, and the male gyrations don't really work on Simon nor Randy. Randy is so disgusted that he is covering his head with a sheet of paper. Seeing Randy in such pain, Simon gleefully asks Keith to do another song. He does 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody' by Whitney Houston - gyrations and all.
I'll let Simon handle this one. 'Last year, I described someone as being the worst singer in America. I think you're possibly the worst singer in the world, based on that performance, and I'm absolutely serious. I've never ever heard anything like that in my life. Ever.'
Randy - 'It was horrific, man. When you said interesting and unique, you were a mouthful.'
Simon - 'There is nobody on this planet who sounds like you.'
Randy 'Keith, What else do you like to do?'
Keith 'I like to dance'.
Randy 'Then why don't you try dancing.'
OUCH. I didn't think he was the worst singer in the world, but it was pretty grotesque.
After a montage of really bad singers, and singers who forget the words, and singers who leave the wrong way, we see Stefanie Schultz with a nice rendition of Alicia Keyes 'Falling'; a little flat, but good enough to go in. Simon and Randy agrees. A lot of talent gets to go to Hollywood from Atlanta - and American Idol record of 42+ people get to go.
We are up to the last city - Nashville. Paula has rejoined the cast - and she may have wanted to leave once she sees Edwin, who drinks out of Paula's glass without asking. He gives them a complimentary cd and sings 'Somebody to Love', calls Simon sexy, and offers to give him a kiss. Simon? 'You're wearing pajamas...you're wearing a strange hat, you're wearing some sort of robe, and you snarled through a song. Why do I need to say anything?' 'Because I rock', says Edwin. No you don't.
We then see a montage of people doing the wrong things - like asking the judges to sing along, arguing with yourself, burping and farting, screaming instead of singing, forgetting the words, and only singing the words of a song called ' I Love You.' Paula is looking around and wondering why she left from her previous engagement.
Ruben Studdard, a pleasantly plump guy, sings 'Ribbon in the Sky' and he is arguably one of the best male voices heard so far in the competition. He gets in unanimously to go to Hollywood. He says hi to his mommy and is hugged by his brother.
Next up is Ira, a 5 year old black kid who tries to sing - maybe he can make his duet with Keith from earlier. Paula and Randy likes it - Simon, of course, didn't. 'The Caucasian guy didn't like it. The brown dude liked it' Ryan - 'The Caucasian dude don't like much.'
The Caucasian dude liked Alden Wynn - not the one writing this, but Simon. He was ok - and the judges liked him better than I did. Most of the people who are auditioning from Nashville, aren't from Nashville. Amber is from Nashville - and she is reeking of flat notes. John joins her in the land of suck. Maybe you guys are better off with the non-Nashville people.
Cory Clark is next - and he looks like a dark colored Justin Guarini. He sings like Michael Jackson - and not nearly as good as Guarini - but since male talent has been really hard to come by this time around, he should get in. And he does get in with a 3-0 count.
The men were hard to come by, but in the Nashville location, a lot of males have come in and gotten accepted - more males get in than females. Kelly Renee has a powerful voice and she has a nice tone - so she should break the just men streak. She does, as the judges accept her in unanimously. Kimberly Locke, though not as strong as Renee, joins her, as Simon makes an interesting Style Vs. Image argument.
The last person to audition is Ricky Smith, who sings just as well as Stoddard. Despite dressing like his dad, he gets in, and once hearing the news, he breaks into a chant - specifically, Disney's 'Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!' As he gets a warm celebration from his family, and while the judges continue to argue whether or not they thought Kelly Clarkson was this good this early, we find out that 29 people make it out of Nashville.
That brings us to a total of 234 people. By the end of next episode, that number will be down to 32. We'll see who those 32 are in 24 hours.
Hooray for Hollywood!!!! 234 of them show up on the scene on Monday, December 9, 2002. 202 of them will be gone by the end of round 2. Mysteriously, we are down to 48 without knowing what happened to everyone else.
Oh wait a sec - here we are - it's flashback time. We see Tony Bennett (who was actually eating at a restaurant I was at. SHRIIEEEEK!!!!!') As Simon explains, 'One of you is about to be very happy and very rich in around 5 months time. Good luck.'
We then go to Tuesday - people are in a chorus line, and Frenchie Davis says that 'she does not have long hair in the back and she is not a size two.' She then sings 'and I am telling you that I am not going.' - specifically to SImon.
We see Marcus Curtis with a ring for Paula. We see the return of the twins as well as Rene Tem and Ruben Stoddard, and Bettis Turrisman.
But there can only be one American Idol - down go the Twins. Them and a lot of other people get cut - half of them to be exact. A priceless moment is when Simon calls out one woman, who is screaming for joy - only to find out that almost everyone else accepted and she is one of the few eliminated. But Frenchie is still there - as well as Ricky 'Hercules' Smith. We are down to 120.
Wednesday comes around, and it's time to cut more people. This exam is to create a melody based on a set of lyrics that are given to them. Josh the Marine gets a thumbs up from Simon, while Danny Rodriguez and Clay Aiken (without the nerdish look) also shine through.
Stephen Franklin takes off his jacket - and sings out of tune. 'That was absolutely ghastly...that's not a compliment. Ghastly means awful. You have managed to turn this into Chippendales.' - Simon. Vanessa, she of the red mohawk, sings right at Simon, who acknowledges it with a smile. Following him is Coffee Anderson, (he who had the kid), and who had his mind elsewhere as he was rotten. He gets cut - and so do 39 more. We're down to 80.
Here is the next They are then cut into groups of three - and then the groups are supposed to sing a song together. Some people take it very seriously and sing the whole night. Marcus Curtis and his group sound sweet, Kim Caldwell's group decide to meet after an hour of eating - their partner, Julia Demato, is waiting for them - and they didn't show up after the hour has passed.
Other people don't take it nearly as seriously and spend the night out on the town. Stephen and Alden decide to have some drinks - with a contestants mother. Corey Clark, the Guarini look-alike, decide to join Stefan and Alden, much to the chagrin of his partner, Patrick Lake. Julia is chagrined, because her partners haven't shown up, and it's 10pm. The other three guys party all night long. 1am - everyone is done - except the guys and Julia. But what about Julia's teammates? Ahhh - they were practicing, and apparently there was an error in communication.
We are up to 8:10 am - and the guys started first. Well, they try to - Stefan and Olden and Cory all showed up late. The bus finally leaves - but not before everyone loses practice time and the people in the bus want to string up all of the late guys.
Meanwhile, in the girl's crisis of the hour, Kim's group is still singing - without Julia. Julia's sister tries to intervene for her behalf, and it's not working. They are all continuing to sing separately. This does not bode well for any of them.
But it's the guys turn to go first. Ruben Stoddard's group begins the day, with him and Rickey 'Hercules' Smith. Randy and Paula and Simon give them all raves. 'You guys have a lot to live up to' warns Simon.
Not nearly as raveful is the montage coming up with some of the other male groups. A lot of guys are screwing up the words, which include Mr. Rodriguez, Josh the military guy, and the non-nerdish Aiken, and it's not going to be pretty. 'First of all, why did you bother applauding, because that was pathetic...it was seriously painful to listen to - and watch...actually one of the worst things I ever heard.' growls Simon.
It's now Corey's turn - and he blanks out on the words - but to make it up, he changes the words to Paula and he comes over to croon to her. Did this save him? For Paula, it did, but for Simon, it didn't. 'I didn't think you sounded great either.' Randy - 'Dog, make you be in tune, yo - you need to sing the hell out of it to be in tune.'
The last group is Stephen and Alden - the 2 major party people. Bettis, the one person who did actually study, does fine as the lead vocalist, but Alden and Stephen just mangle the words and music. I see nothing good coming out of Simon. 'I'm picking up a vibe here, and the vibe here is that this is a joke...Why don't you stop wasting my time and everyone's time and just leave...You three, the two of you in particular, are an insult to this competition. If you think that you can do better, then good luck to you.'
Here comes the judges decision. Or do we get one? 'You've now created a problem for yourselves. We are now going to see the girls perform before we make the final decision, and it could be, depending on how they are, that there could be now an imbalance of girls against guys.'
So the ladies, if they perform well, could be represented more than the guys in the final 32. Frenchie and Kimberlie Locke work together as a duo. That strategy seems to pay off. Randy and Paula and Simon like them both, and they seem to be a shoo-in for the round of 32.
Tensions are boiling with the guys - and everyone is getting on Alden and Corey's case, specifically Marcus, who apologizes to the judges, and Alden accuses Marcus of being a brown-noser. 'I'm not brown-nosing, this is me everyday, and if they can't accept it, the Hell with them.', says Marcus. I'm guessing these two will not be exchanging Valentine's Day Presents any time in the next century.
Back to the women - and they are struggling as badly as the guys are. 'If this was a live TV Show, we would be the laughing stock of America.' But one good thing happened. Frenchie Davis united Julia with the rest of her team, and they are now a 4-some - but are they good? her and Kim Caldwell stood out, and were told so by the judges. 'I feel like a star' says Julia. I have a feeling that the judges agree...
So now the judges cut this down to 48 people. Line 1 - Corey and Alden and Marcus - they are all staying - the one bad night didn't cost 2 of the party boys. Line 2 has Stefan (the final party boy) and Danny Rodriguez (who mangled his lines) - and they are gone. Line 3 has Hercules, Bettis Richardson, Patrick Lake and J.D. Adams - and they are staying as well. But there are only 21 guys - so that makes it disproportionate to the women, who would mathematically have 27.
Line 1, with no one being mentioned in particular, is going home. Line 2 has Kimberly and Frenchie - and they stay on. Line 3 has Julia and Kimberly Caldwell - and they advance as well. Line 4 does not advance, but Line 5 stays on as well. The people who are departing get everyone to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Ammee (what a rotten birthday present), while Danny Rodriguez croons 'My Way'.
This is the last day - and for the final day, everyone has the stage by themselves. Kim Kelsey goes first - and she doesn't sing too badly. The problem is - is it good enough? Everyone has their own story - going through some new ones for you - Candace Coleman is trying to escape her life from washing tables. Can Patrick Lake be a rocker who makes the top 30? What about Julia and Kim? Marcus, Frenchie, Alden and J.D. also ponder their fate.
Verdict Time - There are 3 groups of 16. 2 Rooms have just winners. One room has losers.
Room 1 - Some of those people include Ricky, Joshua, Vanessa, Ruben, Candace, Bettis, Corey, Frenchie and Kimberly Caldwell - and they all advance. Mission accomplished for Joshua - and everyone else in the room.
Room 2 - Some of these people include Marcus, Alden, Stefanie Schultz - and this is the last that we are going to see of them, because they do not advance. We get to see all of the tears, and a distraught Marcus doesn't understand why he is out. 'I was 100% better than most of the people who were here...I gave it my all the whole time'. Well, him and Alden get to discuss this over some tea and crumpets - or maybe not.
Room 3 - Some of these people include Julia, Patrick, J.D., and Kimberlie Locke - they all advance too. All of the celebrities are mugged and the 32 people are finally selected.
So now what? Well, the rest of the competition will now be decided by...YOU. You get to decide what happens and call up after 8 people perform. The top 2 people advance to the Top Ten.
Here is your first batch of 8 - J.D. Adams, Kimberly Caldwell, Julia Demato, LaShandra Collins, Meosha Denton, Patrick Forston, Bettis Richardson and Charles Grigsby. We'll be back next week to see who does what -- and who I think should be going on.
Welcome back to American Idol! The good news for these 32 people is that they have come back to sing again. The bad news is that only 2 of these eight people will be happy campers after tomorrow night's episode.
In the studio, where our 8 finalists will be performing, there is no audience - just Ryan, the judges, and a back-up piano. Ryan takes us to the Red room (which is the musical version of the actor's Green Room) - and in addition to the singers, we have the families of those vocalists hanging out in the background.
Ryan takes us back to a flashback of their first interviews for the camera. 'We can help them with their image, we can help them with their performance, but once they are on front of the camera, they are on their own.'
We start off with Kimberly Caldwell. She is dead broke - and almost didn't get on thanks to her skirmish with Julia Demato. She sings 'Come to My Window' by Melissa Etheridge. She is not as strong as previous performances, and her voice is flat. She definitely could have picked something better to showcase her talent. Paula, Randy and Simon liked her performance, with Simon saying that she sounded better than he remembers hearing her. I disagree.
The next person up is Patrick Fortson. He got in on a split decision from the judges, and we haven't really seen that much of him - that's not a good sign. He sings 'Unbreak my Heart' by Toni Braxton. I have a major problem with a guy who sings a woman's song. It's even worse when he sounds more like Toni Braxton than most women who would be trying to match the song do. I had a very hard time trying to get through this performance.
'I think the outfit sucks.' says Simon 'If this is the front of the record sleeve, then G-d bless American Idol. I also thought that the choice of song is awful.' I have to agree with Simon.
Patrick's dad, outraged by Simon, comes out of the Red Room and onto the stage to have a chat with Mr. Cowell. He comes on the stage with a much spiffier suit. 'You two should have switched outfits.' Simon and Patrick's dad gets into it arguing about style over musical image. The problem was that I thought that the suit was the best part of Patrick's performance.
The third person up is presidential relative J.D. Adams. 'You are what this competition is about.' says SImon in a flashback. Will he still be saying that after his performance tonight? I'm not. He is the best singer so far - and he picked a challenging song, but he's not in tune and I don't like his song either. Simon 'I thought that was OK. I thought you looked like the American Idol - I'm not sure you sounded like him. I thought it was OK.' I agree with Simon - and I'm zero for three so far in terms of liking the people. Maybe I am just cranky. I did not do well in bowling last night (though my team won) and maybe it's affecting my judgement.
Trenyce (who used to be called LaShandra Collins) sings a song from the Bonnie Raitt library - and she actually puts in a good performance. This is the first one that I actually liked. Randy likes the energy. Simon doesn't like the choice of song, but he liked the way that she sang. 'I'm just in love with you right now.' says Paula. So at the halfway mark, we have one singer that I like, one singer that was good but I thought was better earlier, and two guys who are forgettable.
Meosha is next. One of her highlights was being corrected by a vocal coach. That's not exactly a vote of confidence. She sings 'How can I live without you?' She wasn't really in tune and it wasn't as good as either of the females performances. The judges agree. 'I think you walked out there as a loser, and I think that comes into the So What? Category.' that comes from Simon - and he's right on the money.
Contestant #6 is Bettis - and he's hoping that he doesn't burp, fart, or trip. 'My confidence is back, and I'm ready to impress the judges - and America too.' He sings 'Thank You', which was made popular by Boyz II Men. Wayyyy too much choreography and movement for me - but the song is solid and has a lot of energy, which makes him the best male singer so far. Unfortunately, that doesn't say much and once again, this is another male who is about to be hammered by the judges. Randy - 'I did not enjoy you vocally at all - I was waiting for it to end.' Paula agrees with Randy. Simon - 'Bettis, I think you blew it - big time.'
Charles Brigsby is next - and he tells Simon that he's ready for him. Charles actually picked a good song for his vocal range - 'Overjoyed' by Stevie Wonder - but he's not 100% on pitch either. Randy liked it, and so did Paula and Simon. 'You did very very good - well done.' says Simon. He is the best of the male singers, in terms of the total package - but I was not impressed with any of the male singers performances tonight.
Julia Demato is the last contestant for the evening. If she was so nervous that she had to write the lyrics to the song on her hands, how is she going to be able to handle this? She tries to put some closure between the fight between her and Kimberly Caldwellby saying, 'We're friends now...there's no more drama...watch out, Simon.'. She sings 'Son of a Preacherman.' Not as much energy as Trenyce, but she is in tune and she's got a sweet voice for this. Paula is happy, but Randy thought that it wasn't special - he wasn't moved. SImon? 'I think this contest has proven that the girls are much bitchier than the guys.' He thought that she sung better previously, but that she did a good job. I'll have to agree with that.
I don't think any of their singers brought their 'A' game tonight. I'm probably still being cranky here. I think the 2 in this group who should get the nod are Trenyce and Julia Demato (with Kimberly Caldwell as the third person). But it's not up to me (well, it's partially up to me, since I voted), but it's up to you guys. We'll be back tomorrow with the results, but in the meantime, have fun voting!
We are at the first night of the day after the first set of auditions. Ryan is back, the judges are back, the contestants are all in the same room as the audiences, and the contestant's families are all in the Red Room.
We get a flashback of the good singing, the bad singing, and the angry parents. We also get to see the American Idol viewing party, where we Julia and Kim as far away from each other as humanly possible - although they SAY that they made up (yeah, right, ok, and I have a bridge to sell you).
We go to the eight singers - and once again Julia is in the top row and Kim is on the bottom. Sure they made up. We start with Trenyce - and she is not in the top three, which surprised me. Patrick is next, and not surprisingly, he doesn't get in.
Julia is next - and America thinks that she deserves to be in the top three. Kim actually gives her a standing ovation as she sits into the final three pedestals.
Bettis is next, and he does not make the final three. Kimberly, however does make the final three, and she joins Julia on the pedestals. Ryan continues to talk to the group and I dont hear any chairs breaking or fists landing, so I guess the girls are OK for now...
Back to the contestants - Meosha gets her heart broken by America as she does not make the final three. That leaves J.D. Adams and Charles Grigsby. We'll see who is the third person...after we see Terry Tate knock the stuffing out of some streaker and see a dumb movie about men streaking and cars streaking around a track. Do we sense a theme here?
Kim is sooo playing to the camera 'We're not thinking about ourselves, just thinking about each other...and thank you America' says Kim, as she waves to the camera. The third person selected is Charles, and he is shocked.
We then go see what the judges pick. Both Randy and Paula say Kimberly and Patrick will advance, while Simon says that Kimberly and J.D. should advance. Randy and Paula are trying to be nice in saying that the singers sang well, but leave it to Simon to sprinkle in a little reality check to the group.
'I thought the show was dismal, overall, in terms of talent...Sorry guys, based on last night's performances, you're not good enough at the moment to come back for the Wild Card show, and for any contestants watching who are coming on next week, I really think us and America are expecting you to do better. We said the bar is being raised, we're looking for originality, and for the two of you who go through, I'm expecting as are these two are, a Hell of a lot better, because I'm telling you what, if it's the same performances next week, there's going to be fireworks...I mean it - you've got t raise your game.'
So who did America thought had their game raised? America has spoke, and the person who comes in first is...CHARLES GRIGGSBY! I am somewhat surprised, but he was the best male singer of the four males that performed on Monday, so I can't really disagree with that. I would have stuck him in the top four (with Kim as the fourth). Charles gets to sing a reprise of 'Overjoyed', which he no doubt apparently is.
So which woman will be joining her? It surprises me that one of the women will not be going on (though I do expect that the woman who doesn't get in here will be seen again in the Wild Card round). I expect that the woman who advances will be Julia, for 2 reasons; 1. Julia had the better performance, and 2. Kimberly was portrayed as a real b!the during the prelims, and I think her being nasty to Julia (the ultimate underdog) is going to cost her dearly.
So back to Ryan. He polls the judges - and they all stay with their predictions of Kimberly. Ryan announces that the woman who came in second is - JULIA DEMATO!! Kimberly hugs her. Awwwwwwwbarf. Julia sings a reprise of Son of a Preacher Man, and while she's doing that, Kim is crying in the background. You know what they say about that nasty Karma thing coming back to get you, Kim.
Kim gets to sing a reprise of 'Come to My Window', and she invites the rest of the group to sing with her. She is really flat and off this time - but what can you expect. I'd rather be throwing the microphone at Ryan. The rest of the outcasts sing - and they are so off that you know why they didn't get picked. They sing warbly off until we get to the fade out.
Next week - Candice Coleman, Jacob John Smalley, Jennifer Fuentes, Clay Aiken, Hadas, Kimberly Locke, Ruben Stoddard and Rebecca Bond will be the next 8 that get to be judged by you. I'll be seeing you guys on Tuesday with my input.
We are up to the second round. Will we be getting better performances this week, or will we be seeing 'Fireworks', according to Simon? We start out with fireworks, as the tabloid The Sun shows us some early pictures of Simon - shirtless and with a big mullet. Oh yeah, that will get SImon nice and ornery for these 8 people that will be performing tonight.
The first person to go is Clay Aiken. He is singing 'Open Arms' (which I remember from the Heavy Metal Soundtrack - and I enjoy the song - or I used to enjoy the song). He can not hit the high notes and this is genuinely painful to listen to. He is coming off flat like Kimberly did on the first show. The judges are shocked that the voice that's coming out tone-wise is different than the guy who's singing. I agree with the judges in terms of the tone - but all of the tone in the world doesn't do you any good if you are not on pitch.
Paula and Randy are surprised that such a beautiful voice (beautiful in their opinion) Simon agrees - but 'That's why we've opened up this contest to the general public...I don't see you as the American Idol. Maybe the public will.'
Candace Coleman is out next - and during the rehearsals, she was in tears with the vocal instructor. She sounded better now than in rehearsals - but she wasn't adventurous enough - and the song wasn't as daring as I would have liked. Randy agrees with me, Paula liked her voice (but then again she likes everything) and Simon says that she needs to perform better. I'd agree with that. She was good, but not 'blow you out of the water' good.
Now Rebecca Bond, on the other hand, picked out a more challenging song - 'Caught up in the Rapture' by Anita Baker. Unfortunately, she mangled the top notes of it, but she was more adventurous than Candace and I'd give her bonus points for that. 'I think you have a very smoky bluesy, cabaret type of voice. I don't think you're right for this competition.' says Simon. Rebecca and Paula disagree with Simon, but Randy agrees, which gives us your traditional men vs. women argument.
Jacob John Smalley is next - and this one should be unanimous - he is off tune - and really badly. Not a good performance on any level. For whatever weird reason, Paula liked it. Randy brings him down to Earth. 'I did not enjoy the performance - you've been much much better many other times.' Simon? 'The good news, I liked your voice...you are very cute, girls will love you...the performances are not good enough...All of you are capable enough...raise your game. Forget about me - you're performing for America. Americans are thinking - we have some great artists here, we want great performances. If you walked into my record company and sung like that, I'd throw you out within 30 seconds.' Jacob, who says 'God bless you all', is playing to America. It did not come off well and I don't think it's going to work.
Our fifth singer for the evening is Hadas. She may not have the best voice, but she by far has had the best performance so far. She sings 'You Light Up My Life'. Paula loves it, and Randy likes it, but he's not being blown away. 'Give me vocal fireworks...something...' Simon goes half-way. 'It's half a compliment'. She's my favorite female performer so far.
Now I'm expecting something from Mr. Ruben Stoddard, based on what I saw from him in the earlier rounds. I was a bit concerned, because he was a little shaky at the start, but he got stronger as the song progressed and he banged it out near the end. Randy clapped and gives Ruben a standing ovation, Paula gets a hug and even Simon was impressed. 'You are what this competition is all about - We're looking for a star. You are a star. Everything about that performance was sensational. You set the standard for this competition. Congratulations.' Ruben bounds back to the Red Room - and he and his equally large (300+ pounds brother) squish Ryan on the sofa.
Kimberley Locke is the 7th singer - and she would be my other favorite to make it, because I think that she could be as powerful as Ruben was. She was very good - but I think she could have done better with a better song - but she was great with what she had. Randy gives her another standing ovation. 'I feel like the competition has just started.' Paul was blown away as well. 'I don't have the same buzz that I got from Ruben, but I thought that she was fantastic and was the best technical singer so far.'
Then we go into personality. 'I'd give Ruben a 10 on personality - I'd give you a 4.5.' growls Simon. After Kim gives him a zero and continues to insult him. 'I used to think you were sexy, but now I think that you suck.' Simon raises the rating up to a 6. After Kim cools off in the Red Room, we get to see the Idolers work out - with punching bags that have a picture of Simon attached to them. The idolers act the way that you expect them to, and we have shredded pictures of Simon on the floor.
The last singer is Jennifer Fuentes. She decides to go with an upbeat tune - and she sounded dreadful in her pre-interview rehearsal. Not much better here. She is not hitting the high notes, and like Clay, this is absolutely painful to listen to. The judges agree. Randy 'I thought you were better when I saw you in Miami.' Paula was wondering about the selection of the song, and Simon breaks it down. 'I thought that they were being very polite. I think the sensible thing would have been after Kimberly and Ruben was to have stayed in that room.' That gets a smack from Paula, but she did say that 'You chose the wrong song.' Kimberly's response? 'You want ballads, I'll give you ballads.' But you can't have that option when you only get one song, and the poor choice of song selection will likely knock her out of the competition.
So who do I think will advance in the competition? If it was just based on talent, then Ruben and Kimberly are (pardon the pun) locks to continue. But it's not and charisma plays a part in the selection process (See Griggsby, Charles). I think Ruben still gets in, but I think the second spot could be open between Kimberly and Clay (who I thought was lousy, but Chico's sister forced him to vote for him. How depressing.) with Rebecca as a Dark Horse.
Ryan will be your host for the next 30 minutes - and last weeks 8 million votes were upped by 3 million - 11 million people voted this past week. The judges predicted who would be the 2 finalists - and if you remember, none of the judges picks from last week were correct. Will they all stay 'imperfect', or will the judges actually get their finger on the pulse of America?
Simon is not there in person (he's in New York), but we do see him on a 'Squawk Box' - and we do see a quick recap of the singers. We also saw their viewing party - and they got American Idol goodies, including a poster of SImon. What's the door prize?
We have an AT and T poll on Simon - is he sexy or does he suck? (This of course, was from Kim's quote from last night - 'I used to think you were sexy, but now I think that you suck.'
Jennifer is going first - and America didn't like her. She starts bawling and Candace holds her. Candace is next - and she also doesn't gets picked. They can now cry in each others arms. But they don't.
Ruben is up next - and America agrees with the judges. He is one of the Top 3. Rebecca is next, but she is not joining Ruben. Clay is up next and he is joining Ruben up on the stools.
Jacob John, who was blessing everybody, did not get blessed by the Audience. He does not get on, and he can start cursing everyone once the cameras stop rolling.
That leaves us down to Kimberly and Hadas. After the commercial, we find out that Clay needsto pee (do we really need to know that?). We also find out that Kimberly has made it to the group of three. I am 3 for 3 this week (yeah, baby) and now 5 for 6 for the show.
And the Judges? Randy says Ruben and Kimberly, Paula says Ruben and Kimberly and Simon says Ruben and Kimberly. They all also say that Ruben is the top vote-getter and his 300+ pound brother comes in to hug Ruben - and mug Ryan in the process. Ryan goes to clean up his bloody lip while Ruben sings his reprise.
So we will be now hearing the results....of the AT and T Poll. 58% of Americans say that Simon SUCKS (while 42% of you people are misguided). 'American once again has gotten it wrong, I demand a recount.' says Simon, before Paula pulls the plug, literally, on him.
And now the second place winer is...Kimberly! She edges out Clay as the second finalist. She sings her final song, and this time around, instead of hearing Clay, Ryan ends it by reminding everyone to tune in for next week.
And speaking of which, Week 3 has the following - Ricky Smith, Equoia Coleman, George Trice, Vanessa Olivares, Jordan Segundo, Kimberly Kelsey, Ashley Hartman and Corey Clark.
The question that Chico Alexander posed to me was will this be an image vs. talent war? If the answer is yes, then so far, the talent is destroying the image. Kimberly Locke and Ruben Stoddard, arguably 2 of the least image-like in the whole competition, made it out of week 2. We will now see who we get to vote for in Round 3.
Simon is back - and everyone wishes that he was back in his box. Simon has his own video - he reminds us all about Ryan getting squished by Ruben and his brother. 'You looked pathetic. You showed in front of 25 million people that you are a woman.' Ryan - 'I've been doing that for a year now.' No comment.
But let's start out the singing portion of this show with a real woman, shall we? Kimberly Kelsey is hoping to step up her game (as she remembers Simon's warning from a few weeks ago). She sang 'It's all coming back to me now' - and once again, the first singer for the third straight time was flat. Not bad, but not mind-blowing, and the judges agree. 'What we are all saying is that you are capable of doing better than this.' says Simon, who added that it was just 'Alright'.
Jordan Segundo is next up. He is representing Hawaii - and I didn't realize that Hawaiian singers were that flat. He picks it up at the end to make it up to OK, but the beginning was pretty atrocious. He has love for Paula - and Paula gives her love back to him. Does Simon agree? 'There was no spark in your eyes - you looked dead - like a fish on the slab...I would try a couple of cartwheels on the way back.' said Simon. Jordan panders to America? Note to Jordan; Yes, it was a decent performance, but pandering to the camera never works.
What does work is dynamite singing - and Vanessa Olivares is looking to do just that. Vanessa blows Kimberly out of the water in terms of energy, but I wasn't thrilled by her choice of song (though she did do it incredibly well). Randy liked her conviction and Paula likes her personality. Simon? 'Great Personality, brilliant choice of song...I think you need to lose some pounds.' Vanessa - 'I know I have a big butt, but it worked for J-Lo.'
Mr. Cowell is trying to say that as a compliment, but Vanessa is not buying what Simon is selling. Vanessa does an impression of Keith (the male who butchered the Madonna songs - see the January 28 episode for details) and that turned me off. It's never good karma to make fun of bad singers - even if they were brutally grotesque.
The 4th performer is Rickey Smith - and he does a Hercules satire in the form of 'Vote for me! Vote for me!' He was very shaky throughout the song with his voice - he did not hit all of the notes, but like Ruben, he got his act together at the end and he had a sweet exit part. Randy - 'I was waiting for you at the end to do something, and you did something, so I'm good - I'm all good' Paula 'You did your thing - and you did it really well.' Here comes Mr. Simon 'It was good - I'm not jumping out of my chair, but it was good...better than being bad.' Rickey - that's the best that Simon has said about someone, take it and run with it. Mom agrees 'You did great...If the worst he had to say was good, then be good with that.'
Samantha Cohen is singer number 5. She goes the bluesy route, with 'Giving them something they can feel', which is very nice - but the bluesy rout has not gotten anyone very far this year. Simon 'I'm seeing polished good singers - but I'm not excited'. Randy - 'I just haven't been blown away - it was good, but I wasn't feeling Oh my G-d.' I have to agree with that - nowhere near as strong as the second group - but better than the first group.
The next one up is Lou Gazzara. He does 'How am I supposed to Live Without You' and he definitely supplies the energy - but not the pitches. I also question the choice of song. Simon - 'I think that Lou is the RJ of this competition from last year...nice looking boy, should be in a boy band, not a star...a bit 'so what'...sometimes you walk away saying from these shows and thinking 'G-d that was amazing', and sometimes you walk away saying 'so what'?' Paula disagrees - until the judges press her and ask if she's going to remember this performance. Then she cops out with 'I remember everything that they do.'
Will 7 be Equoia (Coleman)'s lucky number? It could be as she sings a sweet rendition of 'The Way We Were' - but she did not pick out a good song for her, I thought. She sings the heck out of it, but she needed a better showcase tune. 'It was a very interesting choice of song for me...there were a little pitch problems at the beginning and at the end, but I thought that you brought something to it and it was the most passionate performance that I saw out of it.' Paula agrees, but Simon agrees with me - 'I think it was quite a cabaret performance...she's capable of better than this.'
The last singer for this group is George Trice - and I'm glad that he is the last one. He absolutely butchers 'Unchained Melody' and it may have been Simon's favorite before - but it may not be now. Another one of those painful to listen to performances - WAY too much vibrato - it was like he was playing to the public instead of singing the song, and it did not come out well. Paula says it was a seamless beautiful performance (wha?) while Randy liked it. Simon, please help us here. 'It kind of reminded me of being in an Italian restaurant where one of the waiters had a few drinks and he belted out Unchained Melody.' Thank you Simon.
Once again I am forced to agree with Mr. Cowell on his general sum-up speech too. 'This show tonight is very interesting, because we said all along that we were going to raise the bar. I think what I have seen tonight is that I've seen some professional performances, but a lot of bad song choices, no sparks, a lot of nerves, and I will say 2 things to you. #1 - The show next week will blow this group apart. And something else that's going to be surprising - you know what I think will be the best group of them all? The wild card group, I guarantee you that this will be the best group of this competition. 100%.'
That ends this group. My take? interesting. If I was just going to take the top 2, just based on this one performance, then I would have to take Samantha Cohen and Equoia Coleman. But neither of them will be going on, and here's why - the voting public has always picked one man and one woman, the people that they've picked have traditionally been the minorities if they sound reasonably well (See Charles Griggsby) and the ones that have gotten the air time have been given the benefit of the doubt even if their performance has been shaky (See Julia Demato). Do I sound stereotypical? Yes, but part of my gig is to detect the trends and to predict, so there you go.
Based on that analysis, my prediction is that Rickey 'Hercules' Smith (who my family would have voted for even if he pranced to the stage in a Scottish Kilt and sang the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner in Greek) and Vanessa 'Wild Colored Hair' Olivares get the nod in, with probably Equoia (or Samantha) as the one on the outside looking in. But I agree with Simon on this two - none of them brought their A Game, and whoever advances will have to do better or they will quickly be advancing out of the competition.
So how do we know that this is live? When Ryan Seacrest has no sound when he starts the show. We then chat about Joe Millionaiore - and Simon thinks that Joe made the wrong choice and should have picked Sarsah.
Ryan gets another microphone - and we talk to Vanessa - who wore vertical stripes to elongate her butt. OK. We also get to see Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson, who plug their new movie and will show you a piece of their new movie - and ask Ryan if he's still wearing his girlie shirts ('Yes, I am' he replies). Their new movie is called 'Timeless' and we see pieces of the duet - which honestly looks ghastly as they are singing in the same boat and are not looking at each other - except in a split screen - and even then it loooks contrived. What sort of chmistry is that? Awful, awful, awful. AND the song sucks.
Here's the poll question - Which judge do you most agree with? A. Somon, B. Paula, C. Randy. If I was voting (which I am) I would say I mostly agree with SIMON. EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!
We get a quick recap of last night (but if you want a detailed recap, you can read up there). We start with Samantha - and she does not make the top three. Vanessa does and she is the first person up.
Jordan did not get in, and he and the family start tearing up. Lou gets to join Jordan in the suck pond. Rickey does not join them - he is also one of the people who advance to the final three.
George, who's the warbling waiter, does not get in - so that leaves us Equoia and Kimberly. Equoia gets in, and I am now perfect for the second straight week.
(And 8 out of 9 for the season - I am just soooo studly).
And the judges? Randy - Vanessa and Kimberly, Paula - Vanessa and George, Simon - Vanessa and Kimberly. The judges continue their imperfect record. Is it talent of style, or is it personality over talent? Simon says - 'Maybe things are being takes a bit too sriously here . Randy 'It's talent over weight' Simon 'Paula, how many fat dancers do you work with?' Paula - 'I think (Simon) needs to see a doctor. I think he needs some help.' Simon - 'Back to them...Vanessa, you did great, Rickey, I think you're here because of your personality, because I thought you sang flat last night, and Equoia, you're capable of doing better, honestly.'
Ryan reads off first place - and it's Vanessa! Vanessa shakes her butt for America and for the judges. She doesn't sing (we don't have time), but we have time for some more commercials before seeing the second winner.
But before we get that - here come the results, and 49% of America agree with - SIMON!!!! Paula is in the middle with 30%, and Randy has 21%. 'I love America' says Simon, while everyone else boos him.
And the second person to make it is....Rickey!! And he is crying now too. It's a cry fest on American Idol. I am 2 for 2 for the second straight week (and I would have been perfect if I was smart enough to realize that they would be going 1 man and 1 woman for each round.) That makes me 5 for 6 in terms of selections. I am just too good.
The last set of 8 will be the following - Corey Clark, Ashley Hartman, Chip Days, Naskeeka, Joshua Gracin, Sylvia Chibiliti, Patrick Lake, and Juanita Barber. Only 2 of them got any serious airtime - and they are both guys, so those are my eaerly picks - but I'll save that for next Tuesday when we actually get to hear them sing.
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That's it for this week in terms of the competition. But we are up to the Good, the Bad and the Ugly - the best of the rest of American Idol. We will be showing the best of the singers that didn't get to the 32 - and some of the really rotten singers.
We start with Carris from Los Angeles (who I recapped earlier on in the series) - but Carrie was just ok in round 2 - and ok didn't cut it. 'Carrie, you lost something, and I don't know what it is...it's a shame.'
We also relive the butching of the National Anthems. (All of the stuff that I recapped, by the way I will just touch on - and you can see it in the recaps)
Randy's un-favorites was Dino in Los Angeles, Monica the sheep woman in Miani and Michael the car starter in Detroit.
Next up is Paula - her favorite was Antorey, who did some Stevie Wonder - Paula, you officially have no taste - he was awful. And he continued to be awful in the second round. And unfortunately for him, Paula didn't judge him - Simon did. 'That was like a musical nightmare. If ever I want to put a hotel out of business, I'm booking you to be the cabaret.'
He was from Mo-town - and we hear a melody of awful singers trying to do Motown. 'Shomotown Gold - only $234.99. Call 1-800-TRASH - From A Idol Records (And no, do not dial the number, it's obviously a satire).
Randy - 'Sometimes we have to sit there and hear these people all day...I feel so bad for the seongwriters...these people just dstroy all these songs beyond all recognition...the lyrics are all torn up...for any contestants coming in next year, please does the songwriters justice - do not butcher these songs.'
We bring in Edwin McCain, the songwriter for 'I'll Be' as he makes fun of the singers. 'If any of you are out there are thinking of singing my songs, please, please be gentle.' This PSA was brought to you be American Idol and the American Songwriter Society (A.S.S>.
Next up - twins. We saw the New Jersey Morgans do well, And Pauls likes the Gomez twins as well but not the shepherds (Unfortunately, you doubled the pain moaned Simon) or the Shepherds (See the L.A. Episode) or the Mariah Carey look-alike (from Miami) - and unfortunately the return of Edgar (also from Miami).
Edgar came back to Los Angeles and tried to get in there - and spoke to Kristin and lried to get into the auditions for a second time - and this time he sang in spanish with a sort of new look - his hair was combed forward. Either way, it was awful. Simon? 'Number 1, you can't sing, Number 2, the faces of Paula of horror is what an audience is projecting when thay are listening to your voice, because you can't sing. Edgar 'I was thinking that Paula was about to cry.' Simon 'She was going to cry out of pain...it was painful...this is supposed to be about joy, not misery...you're not going to Hollywood, you're never going to Hollywood.' Bye-bye Edgar.
Paula is griping about Simon's griping 'There are pionts where Simon goes a little too far with her comments.' Here are some of the ones that we didn't hear previously - 'This is the bad news - this is a singing audition...I know you are ill, but if you sang like that, the audience would be screaming for the wrong reason...It says here that you worked as a wedding singer? How many did you end in divorced...If I were you, Id phone up the war department, because you just invented a new form of torture...I'll give you a future tip for singing auditions - don't.
Then we get to the weight issue - and Simon and Pauls get over her weight - her voice was beautiful, but shw had some poundage - this ends up in Paula yelling at Simon. What does Simon have to say for himself? 'Yes I am criticized for being tough on the contestants, but first of all, you have to preserve the integrity of the competition. I have to invest millions of dollars into the winner of this competition, and we get an awful lot of people who are useless.
Adam - 'If there was a woman judge, I think I'd flirt with her...' Simon - 'Adam, they'd have to be deaf.' Adam gets convicted of murdering a good song.
You have other eople making excuses of being sick or having nothing - but SImon isn't buying what any of them are selling. We get to see the pleading contestants - one of which does get in and the other one doesn't.
Aliceyn is another singer that has a nice voice but did get past the second round, but mysteriously got cut. Explain this one, Simon. 'The difficulty when you judge a competition of the size of American Idol 2...is that you can't remember certain people afterwards...Aliceyn, we loved her when we first saw her...for whatever reason, we were having a bad day, she slipped through the net, Anlike Adam, who should be trapped under a net.'
Adam did a rap of Baby's Got Back and it was dreadful. 'You have a disease caled Cantsingitis, it will be a medical term in at least 2 or 3 years - it is people with zero talent who believe they are fantastic.'
We get to see people with Cantsingitis. We also see people who are fashion disasters - and then we get to Nathan from New York (see the top for the full full-blown details).
Lindsay is a witch - but she gets through to the second round after enrapturing Simon. 'She went to round 2 - she lost the magic' says Simon. And we finish it off with the 'Worst' singer in the competition - Keith. My vote for worst singer is Edgar - but Keith would be in the top 5. But the reaction from Randy in the whole bit was priceless. We end with some bad dancing and we fade to black.
On Tuesday, I hope we get to see some better examples of singing as the last 8 first-timers grace the stage.
We have seen 24 of the 32 American Idol Semi-Finalists. We get to see the final 8 tonight. They are the following people - Corey Clark, Ashley Hartman, Chip Days, Naskeeka, Joshua Gracin, Sylvia Chibiliti, Patrick Lake, and Juanita Barber. No Frenchie Davis, so I guess she is stuck shilling for Entertainment Tonight as they thumb their nose at the Idolers. According to Simon, this groups will 'Knock (the last group) out of the water.'
So will they? Or will they be drowning in the ocean of high expectations?
One way to find out...
Ryan checks out his microphone to see if it works - Simon is hoping that it isn't, as Ryan covers his mouth. 'Can you keep your hand there the whole time? asks Paula. Meanwhile, Ryan and Simon bet Randy $100 that he didn't say Dude, Dawg or Man. He agrees - and blows it within the first 60 seconds. Randy says a 4 letter word that is not dude and he gets bleeped out.
We will start the round with Sylvia - and she is acting like a diva. Is it just me, or does she have a large mouth? She sings 'Didn't we almost have it all', and she sings it decently, but once again, a poor choice of song. Now what is a poor choice of song? Something that does not give you the vocal range to shine so it sounds average. The tone is off too. Randy thinks that her tone is off, while Paula, who actually criticizes someone (for once), thinks that she oversang the song.
And, of course, Simon adds his 2 cents worth - 'You sing like a ventriloquist puppet...When you look back at the tape, it seems like your mouth is doing some strange things.' She disagrees and admits to Ryan that she doesn't know what Simon's talking about. This girl just does not get it, and her acting defiant over her technical problems makes her look more like a reject than a rebel.
(Commercial - Matt, the first contestant on Married by America, needs a wife - what he really needs is a good plastic surgeon who does tummy tucks on faces)
Next up is Chip Days. He says that he is anything but corny. He is anything but on tune or pitch in the beginning of his song. He recovers and is decent - but once again, there is no soul to his song. It seems like they are trying to make love to the camera and not to the song that he's singing. SImon hates the clothes and thinks that he looks like he is in pain 'You sang better like Rickey last week, but you don't have Rickey's personality.' Paula likes his voice but Randy agrees with me - no emotion in that song whatsoever. Listen people;
PLEASE PEOPLE SING THE FRIGGING SONG AND MAKE LOVE TO THE SWEET TUNES OF NECTAR INSTEAD OF STARING AT THE CAMERA AND MAKING GOOGLY EYES AT US AUDIENCE MEMBERS!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU STARE AT ME - I WILL NOT VOTE FOR YOU IF YOU STARE AT ME AND SUCK!!! ARGGHHH!!!!
Thank you.
Juanita Barber is the third singer for the evening. FINALLY we get some soul and energy - and it's about time. No, she is not perfect, but at least she is pouring herself in the song, and that's more than most people have done. The judges, however, decide to bye hypocritical and decide to go against her. Paula - 'I'm seeing a lot of oversinging' Simon - 'That was not good...you really chose the wrong song.' Juanita - 'I think America picked the wrong judge.'
Juanita and Simon continue yapping at each other with nothing in terms of substantial argument. Then Juanita and Randy get into it by arguing that each person doesn't know who the other one is (yes, it's as dopey as it sounds) and she finally leaves the stage. Ok, she does look like an idiot by picking on Randy (Simon I can understand, but Randy?), but this is a VERY interesting point (assuming that we don't have singers who do both) - do you vote for the person who hits the notes and who has the soul of a dead fish? Or do you vote for the one who may not be accurate but who brings energy to the table?
Patrick Lake is ready to rock. He is the only rocker in the field - and the only male in this group that is painted in a positive light. Barring a musical disaster, he should make the final 2. There were some shaky parts, but he does do ok - and he does put some soul into it. Again, the judges disagree as Randy thought that he was better in Atlanta 'It was like you were almost shouting...it didn't quite work.'Paula thinks that he's refreshing.' 'Honestly Patrick, I think that we made a mistake putting you here...I see s sheep in wolves's clothing.' 'It's not Rock and Roll Idol, it's American Idol. Rock and Roll is American.' Simon is just liking anyone today. Maybe he's wearing saggy diapers that leak.
(Another married by America contestant - he wants a woman to look just like his mom. No comment.)
Nasheka starts the second half of the singers. She really hasn't been seen, but the field is wide open for her with a great performance. She is good technically, but she doesn't excite me either. No one has excited me. Yawwwn. 'My biggest complaint from you is that I didn't feel anything from you, performance-wise.' says Randy. Paula thinks that she needs to improve her showmanship, while Simon says - 'You look the part, you could sound the part, but the song is not for you.' and Simon adds that she has taken a page out of Tamyra Gray's book - but Tamyra sounded better. She did sound the best of the three women singers so far, but it still hasn't really set herself off.
Joshua Graycin is singer #6. He already has a problem with Simon, 'who's not only not a singer, but is also a Brit'. Joshua has the same problem as Juanita the energy was there, and he makes love to the song - but his pitch is off and it's bordering on brutal. 'Finally a good singer who's singing a song that's good for him.' Joshua says that if his unit is called, then he will go to duty. 'It just looks right that your standing there where it says American Idol.' says SImon. Paula - 'I think Edwin McCain would be proud.' AwwwwwwwBarf.
The final woman to sing was Ashley Hartman. Same problem as the other females - lots of energy, no pitch and no pitch quality. It didn't work for Randy, while Paula thought there was a vibe. Simon? 'The good news is that you're beautiful...when I first heard your voice, I can imagine you as a singer on a cruise ship. In the second half of the song, I can imagine the ship sinking...certain people deserve to be here based on what they did before - based on that performance, I'm afraid you don't.' Ouch. She comes sit to Ryan - and she already has accepted the fact that she is not advancing onwards.
The final singer for the night is Corey Clark - now he got a lot of camera time - and most of it was negative, as it showed him going out at night and somehow getting to this round despite the fact that he was horrible. He wasn't much better when he sang - he could not hit the high notes and this was also painful to listen to. If he thinks that he can skate on the looks and personality, that will be the only thing that gets him in, because it won't be on the vocals this time around. The judges give them standing ovations - they must be whipped on the guy, because they apparently were listening to a different performance than I was. 'You put me in a good mood'. said Simon. Corey says that he redeemed himself - 'I haven't been out since that night.'
This one is a tough call - because no one really set themselves up for greatness. The audience usually picks a man and a woman, but that violates the TV rule - the people with the good airtime get picked. I will lean more towards that, since I don't think that the women proved themselves, and I will say that Patrick 'Rock Power' and Joshua 'Mr. Marine' get in, with Corey coming in third (for a 3 man final 3). If there is a woman who gets picked, then it should be Nasheka. This is the group where there could be a surprise coming out - we'll see tomorrow.
We are back with group 4. Ryan brings us back to yesterday, where the judges and singers are sniping at each other. Juanita now loves Simon, but doesn't like his opinion. Simon, on the other hand, loves being abused by women. Meanwhile, Patrick wants to spike Simon's tires, and Corey (guy with the hat) wants to slit them with him. Can you just feel the love here?
But we are not here for love - we are here to see who advances to the final 10. Ryan will start us off - but before we do that, we will get to pick the favorite poster of the movie. BLAH.
Nasheka is the first person up - and she is the first person that gets rejected for the week. Joshua is next - and he did make the top three. He smiles and walks over there.
Ashley is third, and to no one's surprise, she does not get in either. Corey is fourth up - and America voted him in the top three as well.
Sylvia is up next - and she did not get into the top three. Juanita is next - and between the bickering singer and the bickering judges, the bickering singer loses. She does not get in.
So it comes down to Chip and Patrick. Ryan lets Chip read the card - and it says 'We'll find out right after the break.' Chip nods his head down in agony, while Patrick just exhales a huge sigh of relief. That was meaner than most of Simon's barbs, gang.
But we are now back after the break - and your final person up is...PATRICK. I am once again three for three. Yeah baby. That makes me three for three for the past 3 weeks and 11 out of 12 for the series. If Patrick and Joshua get in, then I will by 7 for 8 in picking the finalists - not a bad record, if I do say so myself.
The judges? Josh and Corey all around in a unanimous decision. That's impressive for the judges. The number one winner is JOSHUA as the Marine takes first place. He sings his reprise song while Patrick and Corey are both visibly twisting in the wind.
And without further ado, the SECOND place winner is - COREY CLARK. Nothing like the audience to make me a little humble. But I am still 6 out of 8 total for the finalists, and that's not half bad. He sings his reprise to end the show.
Unfortunately, this is also a disturbing trend - because if you've been following my columns, you know that the people who got in did not necessarily sing the best - but they did get the most camera time. This is the hint for all of you singers for next year - MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE SILLY AND GOOFY AND PLAY FOR THE CAMERA - because the more face time you get, the better chance you have to make it into the finals. It's not about talent, or even personality - it's about mugging for the camera.
So how do we decide who comes back? They will pick the best people that they saw - which means that some of those people will be ones who DIDN'T make the 32, Hmmmm - interesting. In addition to that, there is a twist. 'There is something coming - and it's good.' says Simon. We will see...
And those 8? The first four are those who did not make the final 32 - Alicyn Cooner, Janine Falsone, Olivia Mojica and Carmen Rasmusen. The final people are Kimberly Caldwell, Trenyce, Clay Aiken and the judges decide that Chip from this show will be coming back - and they also pick Nasheka as well. So we have now 9 people in the 8 person semifinals.
I'm guessing that the twist is more than that. Come back next week to see what it is - and who the final 2 people are.
We are here for the Wild Card Round - and according to Simon, it's going to be wild. This round is a combination of people who got rejected by the viewing audience - or got rejected by the judges and never had the chance to make it to the viewing audience. This could mean 2 things - it's either a way to let the talented people who somehow fell through the cracks to get their own shot (which is all very nice, but I'll take the secnd one - the talent pool has been so unimpressive for this series tha they decided to bring some extra people into it to try to spice it up.
And spice it up is right - there are 7 women and only 2 guys. Gee, I wonder if someone wanted 2 girls to go on to even out the playing field, eh? 'Everyone is on the same level' explains Ryan, although some people had more screen time than others. Yeah, right.
And the twist is? 'We're going to make this a Top Twelve' The judges will pick three of them, and America will pick one more person. I am guessing that Frenchie Davis will not be one of those choices.
NOTE TO TV PEOPLE (AND NOT JUST FOX) - PLEASE MAKE SURE THAN WHEN YOU SAY THERE IS A TWIST, MAKE IS A REAL TWIST. THESE 'TWISTS' ARE INCREDIBLY LAME.
But what it does do is that it gives the judges a chance to bring their favorites into the game, regardless of what the wacky audience says. Kimberly Caldwell is a sterling example of the judges picking the Wild Card. She made such a negative impression that I don't think the audience will ever pick her because of what she did to Julia DeMato (don't remember? read the recaps above).
She is obviously a judges favorite, and all she has to do is to sing slightly passable and she will be a shoo-in for the judges. She is MUCH better this time around, though Randy wasn't impressed. Paula says that she was under pitch and Simon thought that she was unimpressive - but that she was impressive before. Maybe the judges and I are watching different performances of her, since we were the exact opposite when she first song. I still think that unless four people knock the judges block off that Kimberly gets in.
The second judges pet...I mean contestant, is Clay Aiken. I didn't like him then - and I don't like him now. He sing 'Don't Let the Sun go down on me' I HATE this song. He does perform it well, and again I liked him better now than earlier. Paula says that he raised the bar. Randy gives him props and gives him a standing ovation, saying that he did his homework. Even Simon was impressed 'You are looking better each week.' I'll have to agree - he should be another judges shoo-in.
The third vocalist is Nasheka. She says that she needed to be more comfortable on the stage. She also needs to go back to the vocal coach - not only does she still look uncomfortable (spreading your legs out is NOT a way of being comfortable), her pitch is excruciating. Much better earlier than tonight's performance, which was simply brutal. Simon thought that she was brilliant (WHAT?), but Paula says that it was OK and Randy was looking for more growth and didn't get it.
Next up is Carmen Rasmussen. She did not make the final 32, but she got called back here. It had to be for the image (which is hot) and not for the vocals (which were ice cold) and the warbling pitch. Paula? 'You only get that much better by experience.' Randy wants her to keep trying while Simon breaks it down - 'We brought some people back so that they would have a chance to shine. You didn't. It wasn't good enough. Sorry.'Me and Simon are back on the same wavelength.
The 5th singer is Olivia Mojica. 'This time around, everything is going to be flawless.' I'll say this - she brings a lot of passion and emotion to the table - but like the other 2 girls before her, she is very very off on pitch, and this is the third straight painful performance that I have to sit through. Randy thought that she showed life at the end, but it didn't work for him. Simon - 'I don't think Diane (Warren, the songwriter of 'Because you Lived Me', the song that she sang) is going to be jumping around overjoyed with that rendition of that song.'
Janine Falsone, the woman who got caught in that love triangle in Episode 1, is back. So far, the returnees are 0-2. Make it 0-3. She is better than the other returnees who didn't make the top 32, but her tone is off. She does make it up by playing to the camera, but was it enough? 'You had about as much passion as a kitten mewing...You were so wrong for that song.' The other judges agreed with that, and I have to as well. She even admits that she agreed with the judges.
Chip Day is lucky number 7. Chip was technically sound, and he did have the image thing going. He doesn't do anything musically for me, but it seems obvious that the judges are all ga-ga for him. Well, at least 2 of them - Randy and Paula like him. Simon refreshingly surprises me - 'I thought that was a terrible audition...I think all of these people are capable of doing better - wrong song choice, and Chip I think that you can do better and in this audition, you were terrible.'
Simon's top choice, Alecyn Cooney, is next. Can she do what the returnees haven't been able to do yet? To me, the answer is yes. She is not as polished as Kim or Clay, but she did sound good and she did express passion - but does t cover her lack of hitting the notes? 'It was good - I'm not jumping out of my chair...In the words of Paula Abdul, good job.' Randy also thought it was Ok, while Paula has only heard that one song (she sang 'Angel) and wants her to sing something different. Paula acting like Simon? Yikes.
After a Justin Guraini makes a surprise appearance on the show (and does absolutetly nothing), Trenyce is the last person to sing. She learned a lot from last time - she wears something very skimpy, sells (bordering on whores) herself for the camera, and gets into the song. She, in my opinion, made the most out of her return, and Paula and Randy agree with that with a standing ovation. 'You shined last tine - you were even better tonight.' Simon? 'I'm not quite as excited as you guys...maybe I'm in a bad mood.'
There could be another more sinister reason to invite the people who didn't make the top 32 than the other 2 reasons. Here is the reason - perhaps the judges liked the four people (Chip, Clay, Kimberly and Trenyce) so much that they would be willing to put up inferior talents to compare them to in the Wild Card Round that the singers would advance in a walk and it wouldn't matter who America picked? It sure looks like that to me. Sure some surprise will happen, but the fact of the matter is that the judges were so willing to let their favorites in - even changing the rules of the contest to do it, that it once again compromises the competition. I thought this part was repulsive the first time around, and just as repulsive the second time around.
So who wins? I was waiting for any of the people who didn't make the Top 32 to make a stand - but they didn't. The audience may be trickier to figure out this time - but barring something weird, I'll have to go with the four people who did make the final 32 that sang the best - Kim, Clay, Trenyce and Chip - and I think all four of them get in one way or another, since it's obvious that the judges want them to. Call me Mr. Jaded.
We have a special HOUR edition of American Idol tonight. We get to see America's chioce - and the judges choice. There is a small written nota at the bottom that says 'recorded from an earlier broadcast'. Is this not LIVE? Is FOX AGAIN falsely advertising the public?
Ryan Seacrest introduces the show by reminding everyone that most of these people will be rejected from the show for the second straight time. He then goes to Simon, who was in a bad mood last night. We get to see pictures of him in a pacifier in hos mouth - and with a bib on (thanks to the special effects people in the back. Ryan tells everyone to give him a group hug - and they do. AwwwwwwBARRRRRRRF. 'What is happening to this show?' says Simon.
Simon blames the producers for getting him in a bad mood last night. What may make him in e better mood will be to see the 8 people who made it so far. Ryan bings them back out - Charles Griggsby, Julia Demato, Kimberly Locke, Ruben Stoddard, Rickey Smith, Vanessa Olivares, Joshua Gracin and Corey Clark. They all leave, and I am afraid that we have another 20 minutes worth of filler before actually getting down to it. We get the Ford Trucks replay from last night as my fears are starting to be justified.
Kimberly says that she's single as she is hanging out with Clay. Meanwhile, Trenyce says that she likes to give great performances and that she's a good performer. Is it good enough?
We are going to see who America picked first - and Ryan is going through all of the people and who they sang - and what the judges said. I could recap them, but you're better off reading the recaps freom yesterday's show. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. So Ryan reads it - and he can't really read it - he says he needs his glasses. To make this also really short, this turns into a lame segway to go into a commercial break. This would be sort of funny if we couldn't see it being telegraphed from a mile away.
Just a note - it really didn't matter if you went to different web sites and missed that this show started tonight at 8 instead of 830. I am guessing that most people will tune on at 8:30 and not miss a single blessed thing. It would be nice to have the results being read maybe at 8:14 and have the rest of it being discussion. Nah, the ratings people would never buy that.
We are back - and the letter is still being translated. Yawwwwn. Meanwhile, Ryan is going over and explaining that each judge will be able to send one contestant to the Finals.
We start with Randy 'Dawg' Jackson. He says that this person hasn't hit potential, but this person could be a star. Randy has chosen Kimberly - which is good, because Kimberly will never win a public vote. She screams and hugs Ryan - and then Randy. Get used to it Kimberly - I don't see you getting past the first three votes. That's one judges pet who gets through - and it will be very interesting to see Kimberly Vs Julia Demato, Round 3. She sings her reprise and we see them at an Oliver Beene screening to finish off the segment.
So before we get to Paula, Paula and Randy force Simon to apologize and to thank the producers for making them Millionaires.
Paula starts by making it secret, but after saying that she and Randy gave her a standing ovation, we all know that it's Trenyce. She is the only person that I think deserves the third chance, because I think that she is underrated. Trenyce does her singing reprise.
Time for Simon - this could be a very interesting pick, because I expect Clay to win the popular vote, so Simon doesnt't have to pick him - but I can't expect him to pick Chip. Simon backtracks and says that when he talks and then hears the replay, he could change his mind. Ahhhhhhh. 'I'm going to take a risk here, because the person that I chose did not sing the best last night.' SImon decides that CARMEN is his choice to go on. Wow. That came completely from left field. Carmen is shocked. I'm shocked - especially since that he said that Carmen wasn't good enough. My ears will be bleeding at least once next Tuesday - and Carmen's reprise only solidifies that I am guaranteed at least one painful song.
Simon's pick means two things - 1. He is positive that America chose Clay Aiken and 2. Chip's audition was really brutal to the point that Simon was not going to save him.
So does Clay or Chip advance to the next round? Or did America suddenly go tone-deaf and pick someone who really does not deserve to be in the finals? The card has finally been translated, but we won't hear it until Ryan stretches it out - and he find out that there will be a 6-11 year old talent show. BLEH.
The last person to advance is....CLAY AIKEN. He hugs everyone and is on the verge of tears. He reprises the song. Ryan has everyone else come back - including the judges. Advice? Randy says that consistency is the key, Paula says to enjoy the journey, and Simon says to be afraid. So we have our 12 people, and we fade to black.
My Take? I think there is definately more talent on this crew than the first one. I'll say right now that my top 3 ONLY based on singing ability and nothing else, is Julia DeMato, Trenyce and Vanessa Olivares. But add the personality in, and it completely changes to Clay Aiken, Rickey Davis and Ruben Stoddard. The first few votes will tell us what direction America is leaning in - and we'll see that in just 7 short days.
We are done with the second phase of the competition and we are into the final round. Here come the finalists as we start with the LIVE two hour premiere. Today's theme is MOTOWN - and we'll get there right after we see the opening montage.
We are LIVE - and Ryan is here with his 2 tons of suntan lotion. We have a live audience - 'The best looking live audience in the world' exclaims Ryan, as we into the 12 finalists.
Ryan goes into the rules - besides no stage diving for Ruben. They sing, we vote. One person gets eliminated each week. The last person left standing in your American Idol.
There are 2 themes tonight - the first theme is that it's Motown night, The second theme is that all of the songs were written by Lamont Dozier - which is even more impressive by the fact that all of the songs were written by him - 76 top ten hits by him. Wow.
We get a quick profile of him doing a master class with the idolers. They revere him, and he is rewarded by being a celebrity judge. So we have 4 judges tonight, as he joins Simon, Paula and Randy.
Kimberley Locke goes first and we see a bio of her (I will spare everyone all of the bios, because all it will do is give me an unlimited supply of awwwwwwbarf moments). She sings 'Heat Wave', and she sounds pretty good. Not the most inspiring that I've heard from her, but definitely passable. Randy agrees with me 'It's hard going first, but you were good - not the best that I've heard from you, but you were good.' Paula says that it was a nice way to start the show. Lamont loved the energy that she had 'You were ready for business.' Simon? 'It was ok...it was good, but you could do better.'
Next up is the story of Joshua Gracin, the marine. Or shall I say the corporal. Or should I say now, the singer, as he sings 'Baby I need your lovin.' What about 'Baby, I need your vocal chords'? Not good at all, but I can't possibly see a marine getting knocked out of the first round. Randy thought that Josh put a lot of himself into it and Paula thinks that he raised his game. 'You're not Levi Stubbs, but you came with your heart, and I can't ask for more than that.' says Lamont, and Simon thought that he was very good, but thought that Josh needed to lose a few pounds. Josh challenges Simon to a push-ups match. I think that Josh could stand to lose a few bad notes.
The third person up is Charles Griggsby. He sings 'How Sweet it is'. He was not describing his tone, which was very flat. Ouch. He did put a lot into it, and he has a very nice stage presence. Randy thought it was alright, but didn't feel enough personality. Paula liked his profile and she thought that he did a great job (wha?). Even Marvin Gaye had to struggle with that song' says Lamont, who says that it's good. I'm waiting to hear Simon bash him. I am disappointed. 'It was good.' I have to disagree here. Yuck.
Next up is my favorite punching bag, Kimberly Caldwell. She sings 'Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide.' Every time that I have seen her, she sings better and better - and every time I've seen her, me and the judges have completely disagreed. Not this time. 'Excellent. Best so far tonight.' says Simon. I completely agree.
Rickey Smith is up next. I expect big things from him and Ruben Stoddard - both of them sang Motown tunes in order for them to get this far, so with this being the requisite, you would think that they would have no problem with this. Rickey sings '1-2-3'. It's weird - he nails the hard parts, but he is off-tone for the easy segments, almost like he wants to sing up high and avoid the low notes. I'll have to keep a reference in the back of my mind. Randy was impressed, while Paula felt that it was a perfect song for his voice (which Lamont agreed with). Simon thought that he motored through the first part of the piece - and he didn't like Rickey's intro.
The singer at the halfway mark is Julia DeMato. She also had a little bit of soul in her auditioning songs with 'Son of a Preacherman'. She gets to croon 'Where Did Our Love Go?' Nice and sweet - not the best singer to go, but she's up there - and Randy agreed. Randy thought that it was the best that he's heard from her so far, and Paula says to give her some stage presence. 'That song was meant for you.' says Lamont. Simon wasn't that impressed.
Will Simon be impressed by Clay Aiken? He sings 'Can't Help Myself' and he just nails it. A perfect song for him and he puts himself into it. Far and away the best performance of the evening - and he even makes love to the camera correctly. He gets a standing ovation from the audience - and from the judges. 'You look like you've already arrived' says Lamont. Let's hear something nice from Simon 'I thought you sounded very good but if you want me to be honest, I thought it sounded more like Motown the Musical.' Simon gets booed by the audience.
Vanessa Olivares is number 8 - and she sings one of my favorite songs ever - 'You Keep Me Hangin' On'. It's a very tough thing when you have to go after that sort of performance by Clay, and you can feel the energy level drop, but she does do a very good job and I think that she fit the song. Randy liked the vibe, but he and Paula both felt that it was a little pitchy. 'I just see you more as a better entertainer than what we are looking for in this competition.' says SImon. I thought part of being a singer is being an entertainer. Wha?
Corey Clark, my least favorite contestant, is next - but I said that I was going to judge this strictly on talent, not on personality (hence the lack of intros), so I will keep that on the back burner. He sings 'This Old Heart of Mine', which is a tough one to sell. Corey has the same problems as Rickey did - he nails the hard stuff, but is very off-pitch on the easy stuff and the low notes. He does perform well on stage, but he definitely could have picked a better song. 'I didn't know you can sing that high, Dawg...I didn't think that it was the best seen you, but it was alright.' says Randy. Paula liked it, while Lamont thought he was a new Smoky Robinson. Simon thought that Corey needs to cater to his wild side and that he's refreshing. Wha? Did Simon step into the Twilight Zone with the last 2 people?
Carmen Rasmussen is next. She has a country voice and I didn't like it last week. Now we have to hear her country voice grinding against a Motown song. I am bracing up for the worst. She picks an easy song - 'You Can't Hurry Love' (which I think is smart) - and it's perfect for her vocal range. She plays to the crowd wonderfully is dead on in pitch, I can't stand her tone, but it's her tone and she's going to stay with it. Randy and Paula think that it's the best that they have heard of. Simon? 'You justified my pick. Congratulations.' I am forced to agree - she was very good and it looks like I will be stuck hearing her annoying twang for another week.
Trenyce is number 11. I'm expecting a lot out of her, too. She sings 'Come see about me'. She does not disappoint, and she even adds some girrrl power to it. Much much better in terms of stage presence and she's a definite keeper too. Randy and Paula were impressed, Lamont says that 'You made that song yours.' Simon - 'Something I don't like doing, I have to congratulate Paula for picking you. That was outstanding.'
Finally, it's Ruben Studdard. He croons out 'Baby I need your loving'. He does out his own rendition, and the crown is already standing in the middle of it. He didn't blow me away like some of the other people did, but I would have to put this in the top half of the performances tonight. Randy thought he was brilliant, Paula thought that he was refreshing and Lamont loves to have singers like him sing his songs. Simon thought that it was an amazing performance.
And those are your 12 finalists for Round 1. My take? If you base it just on this one performance (but no one ever does), then Joshua Gracin, Vanessa Olivares or Charles Griggsby is going bye-bye. If it was on personality and screen time, then Carmen has to be the underdog. If you are basing this on the audience's voting habits, then the person to go will be Kim Caldwell. So I have no clue on how the audience will vote. But that's what the fun part of these things are, isn't it?
Seven days ago, when we did this for an hour, it was incredibly dull, the first 30 minutes was a waste, and the only grace was that 4 people got selected. This time around, there's only one person. How in the world are you going to tap dance for 30 minutes? Lots of recaps, that's how. Yech.
We are back in a live audience setting. 'I will be breaking someone's heart tonight...the journey and the dream ends for one of our top 12.' laments Ryan. We meet the judges, as Simon gets booed by Paula and Randy.
Over 13,250,000 people voted. Not too shabby. We get the obligatory recap as Simon attacks everyone.
So what will we do for filler? We'll have all 12 people sing a reprise before we eliminate one of them! Yeah, that's the ticket! They all sing 'Heat Wave', and they sound pretty good. As the singers saunter around, the choreography means that they are getting ready for the next musical tour. We get to see Trenyce screw up a line long enough before the camera switches angles. Oops. I guess they are not singing live after all. Trenyce gets to play the role of Milli Vanilette.
So in the reverse move, he will be pulling the three lowest voters. This is one group that you do NOT want to be part of.
We start with Ruben - and he's safe. Vanessa is not - she's in the bottom three and she gets to sit in one of the stools of DOOM.
Clay is third - and he is safe. Kimberly Caldwell is safe also - which means that talent will indeed be rated over personality. But if that's the case, then Rickey is safe too for now - and he is. Julia is the last woman on the top - and she is not safe either. She gets to join Vanessa on the stool of DOOM.
Trenyce leads off on the bottom row, and I would be shocked if she made the bottom three. I'm not shocked, as she survives the first week. Joshua is safe - maybe not from the armed forces, but he stays for another week. Charles Griggsby is safe too and so is Corey Clark.
This leaves Kimberley and Carmen. If Kimberley is picked, then that would mean that the three weakest singers from yesterday gets picked. If Carmen is picked, then my thoughts on the audience picks are right and Carmen may as well start packing her bags. The final person who gets a seat of DOOM is...Kimberley. She joins the other two.
I would have to agree - even with SImon. 'I think that 5 people should have been in the bottom three, but I think that America got it right.' Ryan gets to call one of them back to safety, and that one person is Kimberley. She screams and goes back to the safety of the other 10 people.
Someone's storyline feud is going to end very prematurely. Either Julia loses her feud with Kimberly Caldwell, or Vanessa loses her big booty battle with SImon.
I'll let Ryan announce this one.
'The journey ends here...for Vanessa Olivares.'
Julia is in a state of shock, and she looks more like she is the one who got eliminated. I'm a little surprised, because I thought that it would be Charles Griggsby, but I can't disagree with it. We get to see her good-bye montage. 'Thank you so much, but you haven't seen the last of me, so keep watching.'
Vanessa sings her good-bye song. Everyone else has a look of sadness and disbelief. Even Kimberly Caldwell looks sad (though that could be because Julia survived the first vote). Everyone has just learned the cold hard truth - there can only be one American Idol.
Next week, someone else will learn that first-hand.
We are back for another evening of musical wonder and musical torture. Speaking of torture, the celebrity torture continues - and this time, it's Randy that gets to experience his 80's flashbacks - leather pants, afro-mohawk, and all. The theme this week is 'Going to the Movies' so we get all sorts of movie tunes. I have the feeling that for some of them, I am going to want to walk out of the theater.
We also have another celebrity judge - Gladys Knight! She is in a new movie (Hollywood Homicide) and is one of the biggest stars on the strip. Since we hale 11 singers instead of 12, we get to see a nice montage of the history of Gladys Knight. We see how she it tied in with Randy Jackson.
And now we see how Randy Jackson is tied in with Corey Clark, who is the first person to perform tonight. He sings 'Against All Odds'. And it's against all odds that he can hit his pitch. Flat, Flat, Flat, Flat, Flat. And unfortunately, I can not walk out of this recap. Randy and Paula liked the fact that he did some ad lib. Gladys loved the range. Simon, please bring us back into sanity. 'I don't think you pulled it off at the end...actually, I thought it was quite painful.' I agree with Simon.
Next up is Ruben Stoddard. Ruben will give me some musical pleasure tonight, right? Right. He sings 'A Whole New World' He's a little nervous, but he's on tune and he does a very nice rendition of the song. 'Man this guys Dope' says Randy, and him and Paula give him a standing ovation. 'You are - and will some day be the world's velvet teddy bear.' croons Gladys Knight. Even Simon is happy.
Will they be happy after hearing from Trenyce? I was. She sings 'Don't Make Me Cry' from the Bodyguard, and she is so much improved from the original qualifying round. She may have jumped into being my favorite female vocalist. 'Another great classy performance' says Randy. 'You were born to perform on this stage' says Paula, and Gladys thinks that she sells the song nicely. Simon is worried that the young kids are looking old, but he likes the performance.
After a display of the American Idols fielding questions for an interview (snore), and an embarrassing segment from Simon Cowell's mom, we get to see Clay Aiken. He sings 'Somewhere Out There.' he was good, but it was not one of his better performances - the energy was lacking this time, and although it will get him past this one, if he continues to sing lackluster, he won't make the top 5. Another standing encore from Paula and Randy, and I'm guessing that if Roseanna Barr sang the anthem up there, they would give her a standing ovation too. Simon? 'I just love songs about mice...I think after this performance tonight, you're the one they've got to beat. I really do.' I disagree.
Kimberly Caldwell is next. She sings 'The Shoop-Shoop Song'. I felt with her the same as I did with Clay - not the best performance, lacking energy, and although I think she gets past this one, she is flat and could be better. Randy thinks that she can be a star, Paula and Gladys think that she is excellent (can I just skip Paula and Gladys, since they will say that she is wonderful with every person). Simon agrees with me. 'I can see that performance in any theme park across America...you've got to be better than that.'
We get to see where the Idolers are staying - in a palace across and over the sea. It's nice to see that Kristin Holt is actually doing something to earn her money. She'll be giving you the gossip each week. Oh, goodie.
Joshua Gracin, who doesn't want to miss his daughter, sings 'I don't want to miss a thing.' Not on tune, but better than his usual. Unfortunately, that's not saying much from me. Randy thought that it was the perfect song (and another ovation from Paula and Gladys - blah). Simon was confused about his voice, but he liked what Joshua was doing.
We're up to Carmen Rasmussen's rendition of Hopelessly devoted to you from Grease. I love that song - or I used to, before it turned into a flat country rendition. I'm sorry, I do not like her country twangy voice - she's great for country, miserable for almost anything else - this included. Randy - 'I don't think you shined tonight, dear.' Paula wants her to wear less make-up and she was disappointed. Uh-oh, Paula said something bad. Here comes Simon - but this was his pick and he's not going to be mean to her. 'You should replace one of the Dixie Chicks.' I think Carmen may be the one that may be replaced.
Next up - another Kelly Clarkson montage. Is there anyone that's not getting tired of the intermittent pitching of Kelly and Justin Guarini's new movie? Justin still can't sing, and the placing of Justin and Kelly are just a little bit TOO convenient, if you know what I'm saying. We get to see some movie bits, and then Kelly Clarkson herself comes out. After some lifeless banter, we get to see Charles Griggsby.
He sings 'You can't win.' It's a good representative song. I want the lifeless banter back. All performance, no tone or pitch. Him and Cory are close to the same mold, but Cory is more talented. And the judges will be handing out their second straight negative review. 'I did not love that song on you - it didn't work for me.' says Randy. Charles disagrees with Randy, but Simon is about to lay the Smackdown. '50,000 movies, and you chose The Wiz...Not your best performance, I agree with Randy.'
After some more shenanigans with Simon's mom, we get to listen to Rickey Smith. He sings 'It Might Be You' from Tootsie. I have to agree with an earlier Simon comment - 'The best singers i this competition will be getting better.' As much as I like Rickey, he is not getting better. This episode is clearly defining your front-runners, and right now, he is not one of them. He is having pitch problems throughout the piece, and although it won't kill him now, he has to raise his game up. Randy thought that he was brilliant. Paula loves him (awwwwwbarf) and Gladys and Paula think that he picked the right song for him. Simon? 'What I didn't hear there was something that I have heard from you before...something original...you were certainly good enough to stay here for another week.' I'll agree with that.
We see the Idolers go on a shooing spree next. Blech.
Julia DeMato was one of the people who was on the bubble last time - she needs a good performance this time around. She is certainly better with her choice (What a Feeling from Flashdance), but she needs to pick some music that will show us her explosive range - which we saw a lot of at the beginning but not a lot now.
It was alright for Randy, and Paula agrees. Gladys thinks that she is not having any fun. 'The first part of the song was ok, the second part was terrible...this could have been disco on ice.' - that comes from Simon, ad I agree, if Julia survives this one, she has to have more fun up there and be more daring when she sings.
Our last singer for the evening is Kimberley Locke. She sings 'Coming Home' from the Diana Ross movie. Much much better than last week. Back come the standing ovations. 'What an improvement over last week.' says Randy. Paula and Gladys ogle after her and even Simon thought that it was a lot better (thought he thought the dress makes her look too old).
We get to see Charles house Rickey in pool - and we have 10 minutes worth of show left. What does that mean? We get more self-adulation with Kelly Clarkson, as she sings a song from her new movie. Gee, you don't think that they are trying to PITCH this, do you? Simon announces that she will come back in 5 weeks to sing her NEW single. Oh goodie. We get the vote recap, and then the end of the show.
My take? There were three singers who were obviously at the bottom this week - Corey, Charles, and Carmen. If you base it just on performance, this is an easy pick. As much as I dislike Carmen and Cory (which I do), Charles performance was the weakest of the three, and although I think that Carmen may not have the fan base, I think Charles will be booted if you are just basing it on performance, We'll see tomorrow if I'm right.
So we are back with Ryan and the finalists - and the tables are turned - we now get to see pictures of a young Ryan. Ryan talks to Carmen about having a tough time. Ruben says that he doesn't have a mean side, and I am falling asleep while waiting to hear about the bottom three. This is not stopping me from recapping Survivor at the same time - and a special thanks to Anthony Rojas for helping me to cover both at the same time.
2 hours provided close to 14 million votes - and we get the obligatory recap. And since it's an hour, we also have to get the obligatory time-filler - in this case, it's a musical song of 'Footloose'
We also get to see a sequence of the guys living in the mansion - the highlight is when they do a version of Madonna's Like A Virgin - done in Keith Style.
Hoe can we waste more time? I know - ask the judges! Randy says that everyone can have a future in the business, while Paula rebuffs an admirer. Simon then is asked to do push-ups with Josh. He does - and he royally kicks Josh's a$$ all over the stage. There may be another reason on why Josh may not be called into battle any time into the future - man, is he out of shape.
Simon's mom screws up a question about what happened to the finalists - and we see another time-wasting filler on what happened last night (of course, if you wanted to really see what they were doing, you can catch my recap of their special earlier, since this was an almost carbon copy of the special).
And we're back, so since we still jave 30 minutes left, let's do another song! 'I've had the time of My Life' from the Dirty Dancing movie. Argh.
Let's see - more time to waste - oh I know - more video footage! This time more house shenanigans as people push each other into the pool, which messes up the cell phones. Too bad - heh heh heh. This is a pretty lame waste of time for the first 45 minutes of the show.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZOh Wait! We are finally down to the elimination time! We start with Josh - and he is not in the bottom 3. Trenyce is next up - and she is safe. So is Ricky - but Julia is once again in the bottom 3. Clay is safe - and so are both Kims. Rubin is also in no danger of going bye-bye.
That leaves Charles, Carmen and Corey. Carmen is safe, while Corey and Charles both get to join Julia in the bottom three. Julia gets a pair of new people to play with.
'If you did not have Corey in the bottom three, then you did not have the volume up on your TV. It was diabolical. It was terrible.' That comes from Simon - and it was about Corey. I'm forced to agree. I also agree on what I'm about to hear next - Julia once again gets to go back to the happy side, because she does not have the lowest total of votes.
So 2 of the people who I thought would have been gone already are here - and one of them will stick around for another week. That person is Corey. Charles Griggsby is the second person eliminated from the game. We get the final montage of Charles - and his good-bye song. And the way he singe it, we are all better off not hearing it.
We'll see who the next person that gets to sing their bye-bye song is next week.
Ryan starts the episode off by trying to comfort everyone during the war - and by saying that our troops are the real American Idols. 'We're just going to do what we do best - and that's to keep you entertained and get your mind off what's going on.' A real classy move.
What's not classy is the goofy looking cowboy hat that he brought with him. 'I haven't caved into the rumors and joined the Village People.' We're doing Country Rock this week. Huh? Weren't we supposed to be doing disco this week? Did I ever tell you that this was the part of the show that I hat - the part where FOX changes the rules to keep (or get rid of) people? I hated it when they did that last year and I hate it now. I guess they want to keep Carmen on the show for another week - which means they also want to get rid of Corey. Let's see how successful they are at it.
Tonight's celebrity judge is Olivia Newton John. Uhhh....Ryan...she is much more disco than country. This is a woman that made hits out of 'Physical', 'Xanadu', was in the movie Grease and was from Australia. She is around as American Country as Jaws the great White Shark is a vegetarian.
Or maybe its another week to put Joshua Gracin in the spotlight. He probably doesn't do disco well, but he does country decently - or maybe its just because the song he picked has the words going so fast that he doesn't have time to sing a long high note. Oh wait - he does. It's still decent and the military member doesn't do anything to hurt his chances to continue on - except for that awful sharp note at the end. But the audience loved that too. Randy thinks that it's the best that he's seen him, Paula thought that he was a pro, and Olivia liked him. Simon? 'I don't know anything about this type of music...the hat looks great...great.' Josh left Simon speechless - that's a good thing.
Is Trenyce singing a ballad from Lee Ann Rymes a good thing? Not really. Not a good performance. Very off pitch and country sets her a step back. Very very sharp through the whole song. I have a feeling that she wasn't too happy about the song change. You can even see it in her face that inside she's going 'I want to strangle these wacky producers.' Randy likes her dress - and the effort. Paula sand Olivia think that she's beautiful. Simon thought that it was the weakest performance that she's done so far, and once again, I agree with Simon.
Kimberley Locke is third - and she sings 'I Can't Make You Love Me.' Kim was smart - she picks a song that was covered by urban artists - and that she can put an urban flash to it. Much better than Trenyce and a very wise song selection. Randy thought that it was her best performance and Paula loves the song selection. Simon thought that it was a well chosen song but didn't understand why that song was considered an acceptable one. Meanwhile, Ryan is trying to make out with Kimberley. Uhhh...ok.
'Drift Away' is the next song - and it will be sung by Corey Clark. I'm guessing that this will be a disaster. Now how is this country rock? This sounds like 60's Yardbirds rock and roll, with cheesy organ to boot. Lots of early pitch problems to boot. Add the Freedom Rock-like holey shirt and frizzy hair bandana, and the 60's peace fest is very hard on the ears. Randy and Paula and Olivia liked it. 'First of all, I wouldn't delve into Ryan Seacrests wardrobe.' but Simon did say it was an improvement over last week's dreadful performance. It wasn't as bad as last week, but that's not saying much. Ugh.
It's Carmen Rasmussen's birthday, and I expect good things out of her on this one. This may be the only genre of music that I will not find her voice annoying - and I don't. But there wasn't as much energy as I thought she would potentially have and her pitch was all over the place. Randy thought that this was her element, and Paula and Olivia agree. Simon hated the song, but loved the way that she sounded. He also congratulated Paula for her rodeo clown outfit. Ouch.
Can Hercules tackle country? In a word, no. He tries to do a country ballad, but he's off pitch too. What's up with you singers that can't make your frigging pitch tonight??? AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! He sings 'Darling, I'm dying today.' You're dying on the stage, Rickey. He gets a standing ovation from the crowd. Why? Randy didn't like the choice of song, Paula thought that this was one of his best performances, and I think that the judges are drinking different water in California. Help me, Simon. 'Sorry, but I'm not excited this week. I think this is sweet and nice, but so what?' I'm not either, he was mediocre at best. Ick.
After Rickey mugs for the camera, we hear Kimberly Caldwell doing some Travis Tritt. I expect Kimberly to do well in this field, and I am not disappointed. Her flat pitch problem comes back to haunt her, though, and she is not as energy-packed as the other people, but she is still better than most of the people tonight. Good allows Randy and Paula to give her a standing ovation. Simon thought that it was her best performance. I've heard her do much better - she was ok, but that didn't excite me.
Ryan has Ruben's velvet teddy bear as Mr. Studdard sings a version of Sweet Home Alabama. Ruben is - well, he's Ruben, as he turns it into an almost Testify-like gospel song. Again, another smart choice, but even though I wasn't knocked out be his performance, he didn't embarrass himself out there like he could have if he picked a rotten song. Randy and Paula give him a standing ovation and Olivia says that he's a great singer. Simon calls Paula drunk - but also says that Ruben is infectious. Good enough.
The last female singer for the evening is Julia Demato. She sings Faith Hill's 'Breathe'. She needs a better performance than she has been giving - and she does deliver a better performance (though a little pitchy) - and a much better choice of song this time around. She must be tired of being in the bottom three. Randy thinks that it's the best performance that he's seen and so did Paula. Simon says that it looks like she's trying too hard, but it was her best performance.
The last person up is Clay Aiken. I expect him to do well in this performance. He was good - but it doesn't look like he's into it. He's also pitchy, and whats up with the song? Yuck. It should be good enough for him to move on - and he gets a standing ovation - but here comes Simon - 'I thought it was very sweet, but it sounded identical to last week...it had nothing to do with the song...you could have swapped songs.'
My take? If you have to base it just on this performance, then you may be seeing some people (Trenyce, Rickey Smith) in the bottom three along with Mr. Corey Clark. But, as we all know, it's not, so Julia will probably be back there - along with Corey Clark and Carmen Rasmussen (happy birthday, kid). One person is in both lists - that would be Mr. Clark - and that's my guess for next person to go home.
So we will be have nine happy people - and one miserable person. And since we have an hour to deal with what should be 10 minutes, we get lots of filler time - like Randy's book of lingo. Sigh.
Julia thought that Kim did the best, and Kim was proud with Julia. Yeah, whatever. Carmen liked Josh, while Ruben and Corey thought that Trenyce was the best. (OK, this proves that Corey and Rubin are taking something in the water). Trenyce, more down to Earth, says that she stunk.
Clay liked Ruben and Kimberley Locke (as did I) - and we had MILLIONS of people voting in. After the obligatory recap from last night, we have a group song! Of course. They get to sing 'Where The Black Top Ends' - all complete with bad choreography.
More filler, as we get to see Burt Bacharach give the Idolers a shot at singing 'What the World Needs Now (Is Love, Sweet Love) as a charity single to help out the Red Cross. I would usually do an awwwwbarf segment here, but it's definitely a nice touch - as long as the money goes to where they they say it will go. The single will be released on April 15th.
More filler - ask the judges time. Kimberley Locke says how her hometown is a lot different - and smaller - than Hollywood. Simon, who is asked which judge he would kick off his boat, would say Paula 'because then I'd kill Randy and eat him...he would last longer.' Nice.
Who is the judges idol? Randy says Sly and the Family Stone, Paula says Stevie WOnder, and Simon says Paula Abdul. That deserves an awwwwwwbarf. Clay is asked who he would play in a movie - and he asks Ryan if he's available. VERY uncomfortable silence. No comment. He then says Yahoo Serious - and then Brad Pitt. Hmmmmm...meanwhile, another girl asks Ryan for his number and we go to break before things really get out of hand.
After the break (and seeing Roger go bye-bye in Survivor), we get to see another line - this one of people who want to see American Idol. Can we have any more self-gratification? Sure we can, as we have the final unity song for the group of 10. 'And I'm Proud to be an American.', which is appropriate considering the conditions right now. That is met with a standing ovation - and tears from Kimberley Locke.
We will be seeing American Junior Idol - auditions start April 12-13. But from the top to the bottom - it's time to start getting the bottom three people. Kimberly Caldwell goes first - and she is one of the bottom three. Wha? I'm a little surprised. This ought to be very interesting.
Rubin is next - and I would be really shocked if he is in the bottom three. He isn't. Clay is also safe. Will Julia get out of the top three this time? Nope. She is back in the bottom three. She and Kimberly hug - and this may be their final battle.
Joshua is next up and he is safe. So is Kimberly Locke and Trenyce. Carmen Rasmussen also escapes the bottom three. This leaves us with Corey Clark and Rickey Smith. Corey is safe, and Rickey is in the bottom three. That surprised me - but I would have to agree with 2 of the three. Randy and Paula thought that America screwed it up, but Simon thought that America got it right. 'I think you let the audience down last night, I think you left yourself down....most of these people are capable of better performances.' Randy and Paula disagree, but such is life.
Ryan sends Rickey Smith back to safety - but it's clearly a wake-up call to him - he was not good last night and he better shape it up. The final battle between Julia and Kim ends here. Will Julia once again beat Kimberly out, or will Kim win the all-important rematch? If you judge it by last night's performance, Julia wins, but Kim has been the better singer for the competition and the signs have looked like Julia is toast.
According to Ryan, Kim is safe, and Julia is gone - which doesn't really surprise anyone and I think Julia knew it for a while. Kim is crying again - she has cried on everyone. We get to see some highlights on Julia. We're even seeing Kim cry during Julia's intro. Stop staring at Kim, damnit!
Julia was floundering around, though, so this is not a surprise. She reprises her last song, and she is out of the game. We get a reprise of 'Proud to be An American', then we fade to black. But unlike, the crowd, someone else will no longer be proud to be an Idoler in 7 days.
So let's see...We had 9 people - but Corey Clark decided that beating up his sister would be more fun than being on American Idol. As reported on thesmokinggun.com, Corey Clark has criminal charges filed against him, and because he did not disclose this to the producers, they released him. This is the scuttlebutt going around, BUT notice the date on when this show will be airing. So I figure a few things could happen...
1. Fox continues as usual and 8 people are left. This is the logical (and probably best) choice to make, but I do not see that happening, because this means that Fox loses a week on their cash cow, and there's no way that FOX, the leader of milking the cow, will sacrifice an udder (though this past stunt was udderly ridiculous).
2. Corey comes out. APRIL FOOLS!!!!
3. Someone else comes out to take Cory's space. Frenchie Martin?
Ryan comes out - with 8 people. Wow. I am surprised - I figured FOX would be smarter than that. Oh well. I'll still be holding out for the FOX April Fool's surprise. But for now, 'Get your groove on', says Ryan - it's Disco Night!
Before we get to disco night, Ryan does address the Corey situation. 'Corey Clark is no longer a participant in today's show...Some of you may have recently heard or read the news of charges hanging over Corey. Those charges were certainly news to all of us. We actually screen the contestants with background checks before they get on stage. That process is compromised when the contestant is less than honest. Corey chose not to reveal his arrest, so we had to release him from the competition.'
We get a video of Corey trying to defend himself. He denies the charges. He also adds that it was his fault that he didn't tell the producers - and that things could have been different if he did. He realizes that he is going to be cut by the producers - and he apologizes to the people whom he screwed over and that could have been in his place right now. As you all know, Corey wasn't my favorite contestant to begin with, and the video makes him come off looking like a completely brainless moron. I have a feeling that Julia DeMato, Vanessa Olivarez, Charles Griggsby, or any of the people who he knocked out (like Patrick 'Mr Rocker' Fortson) will not be sending him any 'feel better in jail' cards any time in the near future.
But enough of him - let's get to the judges. Our special judge this week is Verdine White - who was on Earth Wind and Fire. We get to see his bio (but who doesn't know the Disco Funkers Earth Wind and Fire? Oh yeah - you guys, you young whipper-snappers).
Rickey Smith starts with 'Boogie On Down' from - who else - Earth, Wind and Fire. He needed a better performance than last week - and he didn't deliver. VERY off on the pitch, and he was much more concerned on hitting his moves than getting his grooved on. Randy thought that he had some pitch problems. 'I feel like tonight is the start of a very bad wedding reception.' Thoughts of Adam Sandler are ringing in my head, but Paula completely disagrees with me and Randy. Simon says this. 'The show is called American Idol...I saw someone who should be performing at a children's party...you can see that at any children's party across America. It just wasn't good enough.' Rickey disagrees, but I agree with Simon. Awful.
Carmen Rasmussen is next with 'Turn the Beat Around'. We are going from Bad to Worse. Her voice does not fit this song at all, and Randy thinks that it was karaoke night on American Idol. Paula and Verdine liked it. Simon thinks that of all the girls left, she is the most commercial. Wha? Maybe the most commercial, but not the best performance. Yuck.
Kimberly Caldwell sings 'Knock on Wood.' Now she picked a good song for her voice, which accentuated the good parts that she could belt out. Very smart. A little pitchy though. Randy hated the arrangement, but he loved her performance on it - and showed that Jewel was in the house. Paula thought that Kim was off-pitch, and was afraid that she is getting complacent. Verdine agrees. Simon also thought that it was mediocre. '6 and a half out of ten. Whoopie.' Not her best performance, but a smart one and better than the first two.
Clay Aiken is next - and he sings 'Everlasting Love'. Maybe it's just me, but it seems that Clay only does one sort of musical style - which is the sweeping Broadway style - md he's done it for three straight disposable weeks. It wasn't bad, but it doesn't send chills across my spine. 'Thats how you do it, dawg' says Randy. Paula was expecting some choreography and Verdine thought that he had chops. Simon? 'Simon on his last American Idol...within the context of this competition, I thought that was terrible...maybe I'm missing the plot here, I'm looking for a future Superstar, and based on that, I just didn't get it. Sorry.' He wasn't that bad - but Simon makes the great point - Clay has to raise his game, and he hasn't done it.
Trenyce has definitely raised her game. She sings 'I'm Every Woman'. Tons of energy and emotion, and though she was a little pitchy, she brought to the disco genre what Clay should have, moves and everything. Randy thought that it was one of the better performances and Paula was impressed on how she changes her voice and style per week. I have to agree. Simon thought it was OK, but it didn't blow him away. I thought it was very good.
Ruben is next - and he does 'Can't Get Enough of Your Love.' Barry White he isn't, but he makes it his own, and its the best I've heard so far. Randy completely agrees and Paula and Verdine are blown away. Simon? 'As working for a record label, you try to separate what separates good singers from future superstars. I think you should win this competition.'
Our 7th singer is Kimberley Locke, who sings 'It's Raining Men'. She has a great disco voice, but what a brutally poor choice of song. Anytime you need to change the song almost completely to fit your vocal range, it's a bad choice. She couldn't hit the low - or the high - notes. A complete 360 from last week, where
she picked a brilliant choice of song. Randy gives her points on the fact that it's a very difficult song to do (which it is, so I'll give her some points there), Paula and Verdine thought that she did carry the song, while Simon chirps 'I thought you did Ryan Seacrests favorite song justice.' Ouch.
The last singer for the evening is Josh Gracin - and he sings 'Celebration' which I will be doing when he is done with his song. There's a rumor that the army is holding him out just for this competition, because although the army says that they are not going to deploy him until his unit goes, rumor has it that 60% of his unit is already there. He may want to think about packing his bags after this performance. He admits to Randy that he's sick, but to be sick in your worst genre is not a good thing. Simon just digs the 'If you sang like that when we saw you, you wouldn't have gotten past the first round. That was absolutely dreadful.'
Ryan asks the people what they thought. Clay was disappointed by the fact that Simon was completely different than Randy and Paula (I have news for you, Clay, Simon is pretty much on the money), while Kimberly says that she's having a good time. We get the quick recap, and we're out of here.
I'm sort of surprised at FOX - the show is set on April first, Cory gets himself knocked out, and we don't get any chicanery by either FOX or the people at American Idol. I'm surprised, and in a good way. Unfortunately, there will probably be a week of American Idol filler to replace the week that they will lose from Clark so it can fit nice and neatly within the sweeps period, but at least they didn't compromise the show - and that may be a first for FOX.
But enough niceties - there were exactly 2 good performances, 2 mediocre performances, and 4 bad ones. Kimberley Locke, Rickey, and Josh should be the bottom three, and although Josh should be the person who gets knocked out, I think that Rickey will be.
Maybe Adam Sandler could have sang better than these guys - and one of them will be spending their time renting one of his movies instead of practicing for the next song in 24 hours.
Ah...ah...ah...ah...Staying Aliiiiiiiiive. 7 of these people will be singing that. One of them will be singing at Studio 54 this upcoming weekend.
As for who it was who should be leaving? it's hard to say. Almost everyone was lousy. Ruben and Clay are safe in my mind, and almost any of the other six people wrote their ticket to bye-bye-ville. But since only three of them get to the bottom three, three people (well, actually five people) will have sung badly and gotten away with it.
Even though I thought Trenyce was good, her criminal record, which was revealed via the smoking gun this week (as well as Corey Clark), could also do her in. Even though she told the producers, she didn't tell the viewing public (that would be us) about it. It is very possible that the backlash that eliminated Corey in the form of the producers could come back and eliminate Trenyce in the form of the voting public.
But before we get to that, we get THIRY MINUTES OF FILLER!!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!! And this filler starts with the usual introductions of the judges and contestants.
We get the traditional flashback of what happened last night. And with that, here comes the 8 idolers with 'A Night to Remember'. They singers still can't sing this genre of music, which makes this 'A Song To Forget'. Yuk yuk yuk.
AT and T Wireless Poll time. Simon was n a foul mood last night. Why? A. He hates Disco, B. He Hates everything, C. His tight pants was rubbing against his crotch. Huh? What about D. The singers sucked?
The audience gets to ask questions. Vanessa (not THAT Vanessa) asks Randy for singing advice, and he says to be the best that you can be every time you get behind a microphone.
Yoli asks Paula - If she saw Simon for the first time, would she run 2 steps back, or 10 steps forward? Paula says that she would run right into his arms and kiss him - but when dared to so it, 'There's just something inside of me that can't.' Like her sanity.
Question for Simon - if he was on an island, which American Idol contestant's CD would he have with him? Simon's not going to answer it, and Randy boos him.
Question for Ruben - What has been his favorite Genre in the competition? Ruben thought that he liked country - and he doesn't have a least favorite. Suck up.
Question for Ryan - Since Simon said that Ryan's favorite song is 'It's Raining Men', Does he know SImon's favorite song? Ryan says that SImon went to the Manhole and liked YMCA. I'm guessing he knows about places called The Manhole due to experience.
Question for Kim Caldwell - Is she dating JD Adams? She throws it to JD, who is in the crowd. JD isn't saying - but he's sitting with Kim's family. Hmmmmmmmm
Documentary time - and the Idolers will be singing 'God Bless the USA' for their new album - no sign of the ousted idolers - but Corey is in the shot. OOPS. We get the full version of it dubbed over them singing it in the studio - though we don't hear them singing it in the studio. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
We have 15 million votes that got tallied. We get to see who they were tallied for - NEXT! Oh - we mean after this quick clip about the Idolers getting facials, manicures, and stress relaxers. Do we really meed to see this?
Here we go with the bottom three. Ruben starts the people - but he doesn't start in the bottom three. He's good to go. Kimberly Locke is next - and she will start in the bottom three. The audience boos. Don't boo her - well, actually, you can boo her, she wasn't too good.
Rickey Smith wasn't too good either - but I guess the public liked him discoing with a big afro - he's safe. Joshua Gracin was also horrible - and the audiences vote also keeps him safe. Josh is going to be staying for awhile, because if that horrific effort didn't put him at the bottom, almost nothing will. He may as well sing Prokofiev and wear a fencing outfit next week, he won't be going anywhere.
Trenyce is up next - and she also gets sent to the bottom three. I guess the criminal rap sheet carries much more weight than I originally thought and could have outweighed her good singing. Clay Aiken is also safe, but that was a given.
This leaves Carmen and Kimberly Caldwell. Kimberly is safe. Carmen is not. Randy was surprised that Kimberly was there, Paula is surprised that all three of them was there, and SImon thinks that a woman should not be there - and a guy should. He won't say who, although both Rickey and Josh are bowing their heads down.
Kimberley Locke is safe, and she heads back over to the happy couch. This means that either Carmen, who was terrible, leaves, or Trenyce, who wasn't terrible, but has a deep dark secret that's no longer secret, joins criminal brother-in-arms Corey.
We have something different this week - we have both of the soon to be departed people to sing their final songs. That actually works better, since I'm sure someone who just got voted out isn't really going to want to sing. Carmen goes first, then Trenyce.
We have the results...of the AT and T poll. 47% says that he wore tight pants. That's nice. NEXT!
So we have Carmen and Trenyce - and Ryan announces that...
NO ONE goes home.
Surprise! FOX does bring April Fools day around - just a day late. I KNEW FOX wasn't going to ruin their cash cow for a week.
Apparently the producers also knew that cutting a week off was bad. Because they got rid of Corey earlier on this week, no one else has to leave. So what happens to the votes? The votes will be CARRIED OVER to next week - so Kim Locke, Carmen and Trenyce better bring their A Game, or the next disco song may be 'Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, Good Bye...
We still have 8 people - but unlike other weeks, we already know who is on the bubble. With the votes carrying over from last week, Carmen, Trenyce and Kimberley Locke better be singing like their existence on the show depends on it - because it does.
The theme is 'Billboard's Best'. These are all songs that are number one on the Billboard chart. I loved reading Billboard - and I still love reading it. We see a quick montage of the Idolers in the offices of Billboard Magazine.
Randy Jackson has produced 8 #1's. Paula Abdul has released six #1's - and she can't remember them all. Simon think that he's number one (now don't go griping at me - ) The guest judge has 40 awards - Lionel Richie! We get the obligatory (but well deserved) retrospective montage - and Lionel will try to put Simon in his place - and bridge the gap between Paula and Simon. That should be interesting.
The first #1 hit will be 'At This Moment' - and it will be performed by Clay Aiken. I wish that he would stop singing at this moment. the song was not a bad choice - but the vocal range was. Too high - and when he's that high he is not on pitch - consistently sharp. Another painful performance by Clay AIken. Randy did not like the choice of song - and thought that it was theatrical. Lionel is awed by the fact that it was coming out of his body. Lionel agreed with Randy - but he thought that he did a great job. Great - a male Paula Abdul. The female Paula agrees, but didn't think that there was enough emotion. 'This show proves that Randy Jackson doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.' says Simon, and he liked Clay's performance. Although he was putrid, Clay is not on the bottom three, so he doesn't have to really worry this week.
Kimberley Locke does - she sings 'My Heart Will Go On'. Let me start out by saying that this song was incredibly overplayed on the radio - and it's also a very tough song to sing because you automatically compare it to how Celine Dion sings it. And Kimberley, as much as I like her, is no Celine. As Clay was sharp, she is flat, and another poor choice of song from the idolers. Will the judges agree with me? Randy thought it was nice - but he wasn't blown away. Lionel thought that she did a great song. Paula agreed with Lionel. Simon congratulates her on it as well. I didn't like it - which is weird because I usually like her.
Rickey Smith is singing Lionel Richie's 'Endless Love' - and he's singing both roles. No comment. I've been hard on Rickey for the past few weeks. He redeems himself this time - a MUCH better choice of song - and he's on pitch - except for the end, Yeecch. But before the downward progression, he was very nice - and very emotional - something that he was lacking the past few weeks. Randy thought that it was very good. Lionel was impressed with Rickey's arrangement. Paula said that she forgot that Diana Ross. Simon? 'The bad news is that the hat is appalling, the good news is that you sounded fantastic.' He's the best of the three that I've heard so far.
We get a BLATANT Nokia Phone Ad weaved into a montage,and then we hit a break.
OK - break's over. Kim Caldwell sings 'Everything I do, I do it for you.' Like the first 2 singers, this is a rotten choice of song, and the vocal range is just not good for her voice. Randy agreed with me and thought that the song didn't suit her. Lionel agreed with Randy - and Paula, although she likes the way that she sung, agrees with the other judges. Could we see the first unanimous decision? Yes we can - and do, thanks to Simon. 'After that, I don't even think that Robin Hood could protect you. Wrong song. Totally wrong song. You know that.' She sings mediocre, but the cushion that she had from last week should protect her her.
Joshua Gracin is next - and he sings another ballad - 'Amazed'. What's up with the ballad's tonight? He picks a great song for his voice - too bad he's not on pitch for most of it. I'll give him for points though for good song selection, as the twangy ballad is perfect for the twangy voice. Randy and Lionel agree. 'Josh is Back' proclaims Paula. Simon agrees 'One of the few artists tonight who chose the correct song. Perfect. Well Done.' Josh is very safe.
Carmen is not - so she needs a good song. This was not it. She sings 'Call Me', and her voice it one that needs a ballad or a country tune. This song doesn't do it - and she's off pitch. If she wasn't the lowest singer last week, she should be this week, unless Trenyce is worse - but I don't see how that is possible. Randy didn't feel it at all. Lionel doesn't like the song selection and Paula agrees. Simon has been very nice so far tonight. I'm expecting that to drastically change right now. 'That was absolutely dreadful. Terrible. Completely wrong song. You just can't sing songs like that.' Tell us what you really think, Simon. I agree.
Here comes Trenyce with 'Power of Love'. VERY good choice of song - and although not as emotional as Rickey, she does a great job with the song. There is NO way that Trenyce should be eliminated over Carmen due to singing ability. Randy thought that she is back, and Paula and Lionel agree. Simon keeps his streak of agreeing with the judges - to two. 'You deserved to be in the bottom two last week, you deserve to be in the bottom two this week. It was cabaret.' It was cabaret, but I did not think that being cabaret was a bad thing, and there were much worse performances this week.
The last singer up is Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuben. He did a lot of homework this time around - he goes back to the 70's for the song 'Kiss and Say Goodbye'. He was good - no, very good, the best one there tonight - but he was not the usual Ruben that I am used to. Is it possible that he is listening to the people around him and is getting maybe a little too happy up there? Randy gives him a standing ovation, Lionel joins him, and Paula wants the audience to embrace him. SImon thought that if he released the song next week, he'd have a number one hit. Maybe it didn't come out like that on tv - I thought he was very good, but not knock you out of your seat good like he has been previously.
We finish the show with everyone talking about Lionel Richie. Then the mandatory recap. Then the mandatory fade to black.
I don't think that anything tonight changed last week - maybe that Kimberley Locke sung her way out of the bottom three, but it will still boil down to Carmen and Trenyce. Either Carmen goes because of her lousy past few weeks, or Trenyce goes because of her lousy criminal record. We will find out with a not-so-lousy (at least I hope not) show tomorrow.
Let's get down to business. We all know who the bottom three people will be - Kimberley Locke, Trenyce, and Carmen Rasmussen. They were the bottom three people from last week, and since the votes from last week are added to the votes for this week, and since none of them really did enough to get out of the bottom three, they should all still be there. As a matter of fact, Carmen and Trenyce should be in the same place where they were a week ago - staring at Ryan, wondering which of them will be leaving the show.
However, we still have 60 minutes worth of filler to get through before we find out who will be going. Ryan is back - and so is everyone else. Ran makes note of all of the signs in the crowd (and Gordon Pepper signs? no? didn't think so). Could there be any surprises? 21 million votes came in this week - 6 million more than last week - came in. Could the extra 6 million votes mean that enough people saw someone (or someones) in the bottom three that they did not want to see there and voted to send someone else in her stead? We shall have to wait and see...
Anyone want to hear Ryan sound like Simon Cowell? 'What would this program be without any real talent? Well, it would be shorter and called 'Nashville Star'. OUCH. Was the adding insult to injury really necessary, Ryan? I guess the Idol producers are a little sore that Nashville Star blatantly ripped off their gimmick, eh?
We meet the judges - and the singers - but we'll meet them as they sing Lionel Richie's 'All Night Long' I happen to like this idea better than just introducing them. Maybe it's a nice touch - or maybe the show really will be limited to 30 minutes and they have to do what they can to squeeze everything in. That in itself wouldn't be a bad idea either.
Or maybe not - we get to hear Kelly Clarkson do a cut from hew new album/movie. They do 'Thats the Way I Like it' from the new Kelly movie, while she sings 'Miss Independent' from her new album. Both of the songs get the same reaction from me - repulsion. The choreography is awful too. This just emphasizes the raising of the bar this season - Kelly is good in her own right, but she probably does not make the top 5 in this year's batch.
The show is only 30 minutes long - and we get to the contestants early. Trenyce goes first and apparently the extra 6 million did not like to see Trenyce down there - they bring her back out of the Danger Zone. Maybe the bad rap is gone. The same can not be said about Kimberley Locke - she stays in the bottom three.
Ruben, of course, is safe, so we won't even worry about that. The same thing can be said about Josh. Kimberly Caldwell is not safe - she goes down to the bottom three - and she and Kimberley Locke hug and point to the crowd. Huh?
Clay is next up - and of course he is safe. This leads us to Rickey and Carmen. Here's another shock of the evening - Carmen, the women who butchered Blondie's 'Call Me' last night, is safe. Rickey is not, and he goes into the bottom three. Huh? Apparently, between Carmen and Josh, the South is a very strong contingency - and is not necessarily accounting for taste.
But can I really disagree with the bottom three this week? Not really. Each of the bottom three did have a disaster song either last week or this week (or in both Kim's case, both weeks). This time around, Kimberley Locke gets sent back to safety and the happy couch.
This leaves us with Kimberly Caldwell and Rickey Smith. Kimberly Caldwell is safe - which leaves Rickey Smith eliminated. Hercules has been swatted by the 12 tasks of Hades. I wonder if all of the people who voted were so concerned with saving the three people on the bottom that they forgot all about the middle people right over them - and maybe neglected the fact that they needed some votes.
Hercules is gone - and we are down to 7 singers. Another one of them will get nailed in their Achilles Heel next week.
'I can't wish everybody good luck, because everybody can't win...so I wish that the person who wins...is the best musician.' that comes from Billy Joel - and the theme is Billy Joel songs. But the guest judge is not him - it's Smokey Robinson! Wha? We get to see clips of Billy Joel throughout the show.
And he get to Kimberly Caldwell first singing 'It's Still Rock and Roll To Me.' Not her best song, and it's very very pitchy. That is not the song that I would have chose for her to sing. Maybe it's something that Carmen...nah. That was probably one of thw worst performances that I've heard from her. Randy thinks that she looks great, but it was a little problematic. Smokey Robinson thinks that she is great (wonderful - another male Paula) while the female one thought that it was one of her best performances. Simon is expecting better than what she gave out - and he thinks that she is capable of better - 'Verging on 6 Flags...maybe 7 flags.' I wasn't knocked out by it. Eh.
Can Ruben Studdard do Billy Joel? He sings 'I Love You Just the Way You Are.' Now THAT'S the Ruben that I wan expecting to hear from the last 2 weeks. NICE. Great choice of song. Great performance. Randy 'Every week, you show them how its done.' Paula and Smokey also shower him with praises. Simon likes him as always, but challengtes him next wqeek to do something that's not Barry Whitish. I can understand that - but that's a compliment, not a criticism. Needless to say, SImon gets showered with boos.
Kimberley Locke is next with 'New York State of Mind' we get another Billy Joel clip. This is alspo a much better performance from her - she really made this song her own, and like Ruben, I was very very impressed with what she did with the song. She sings it well, complete with hokey New York skyline in the back. Rady says that it's the best that he's ever heard her (I agree with that). Smokey thought that it was a real privelege to hear her sing, and Paula thought it was her most professional performance. Simon? 'You took a risk, you made it your own, you sounded sensational.' She may have outperformed Ruben for this week.
We go back to Ryan's parents - and his mom, like Simon's mom, screws up the lines. Note to FOX people - DON'T LET THE RELATIVES SPEAK ON THE SHOW!!! YUCK!!!!!
Speaking of yuck, here is Carmen Rasmussen. She warbles her way through 'In Every Time'. I don't understand why she is still here. She picks the wrong song, and although it is better later on, she gets pitchy at the end and it is less than inspiring and I just do not find her enjoyable. Randy? 'I felt like I was watching a very average beauty performance.'Smokey thought that she was nervous - Smokey saying something bad?' Uh-oh. Paula thought that she was capable of better . 'If I'm being honest, it was like going to some ghastly party and a child singing to the parents, and if I was the parents, I'd tell her to shut up. At this stage of the performance, it was just not good enough. That was terrible.' Randy agrees - and so do I.
Will we get 2 ghastly performances in a row? Josh decides to sing us the song of the Piano Man. That is a nasty song to sing, and it can be very very painful to listen to if the person is not on. Josh is already off on the low notes, and I am cringing on waiting for him to hit the high notes. Surprisingly, he hits those notes, and he's actually not that bad this time around as long as he stay on the high notes. Certainly not as bad as Carmen or Ms. Caldwell. Randy thought that he did his thing at the end, and Smokey and Paula liked it as well. Leave it to Simon to break up the happy mood. 'I'm trying not to be negative here, I'm sorry, I'm just not hearing a mesmerizing performance. A nice guy, singing in tune. So what?'
Singer #6 is Trenyce, who will be singing the rather Bluesey 'Baby Grand'. What she's doing now is not bad, and she is improving. Randy liked it, although he thought it was pitchy. So did everyone else, but Simon was impressed that she tried to make it her own, and he was happy about it. Cool.
Finally, our last singer is Clay Aiken. Let's see him do something not ballady and theartrical. He sings 'Tell Her About It', and he starts the song slow - and ballady and theatrical. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!! Make him stop, mommy! He does finally sing it in a normal quick tempo - finally. I want him to do something different - same thing with Ruben - but he's a crowd pleaser. Randy was happy that he finally did something up-tempo and Smoky agrees, as does Paula (though she wants him to dance a little). What does SImon say? 'Don't take this the wrong way, but I prefer you when you shut your eyes....your facial expressions, I find them a bit theatrical.' I agree with Simon, as usual.
So who goes? All signs point to Carmen, but I will go out on a limb and say that it's Trenyce who will be going away. We'll see in a scant 24 hours if I am right...
As you guys may or may not know, I am one of the Jewish faith. This week has been nuts with all of the Passover stuff going on. But our family got together and we always talk about game shows. Such as Married By America, Survivor, and of course, American Idol.
We have a few consensus's in our family. The first one is that the past 2 weeks or so have been full of mediocrity. Both Ruben and Clay, although they are the front-runners, really need to step it up. If they both listen to the polls instead of what they're doing, one of them could be upset before the final 2.
The second consensus is that everyone hates Carmen's voice, and they all think that she should go - but not one of them think that she will, because they both think that the Southern vote is very very strong. The point to Carmen and Josh as examples of that. They are split between Trenyce, Kimberly Caldwell and Kimberley Locke. The majority say Kim Caldwell, while we all know that I said Trenyce. Let's see who's right.
Ryan comes out and says that over 18 million votes were cast. We start with them singing 'For The Longest Time.' Interesting note here - when the guys come out to sing, everyone is screaming. When the girls come out, you cab almost hear a pin drop. Could there be an all-sausage final three?
Here comes the AT and T poll question, which is this. What do you think? A. Simon, B. Ryan. C. Spongebob. Ryan brings a big card with the letter 'B' with him. Simon asks wha the question is as Ryan responds 'We're probably going to be beaten by a square - a stuffed square.' That's the best line of the evening.
But now it's time for the worst three. Clay Aiken is first and he's in. Kim Caldwell is also in - but she's in the bottom three. Ruben is next up - and of course, he's not going anywhere. Carmen gets to join Kimberley Caldwell in the bottom. Josh is fifth - and they want to seemore of Josh (shocker - not).
That brigs us down to Trenyce and Kimberley Locke. After we see a goofy Speed Racer spoof, we'll get my prediction - and it is that Ms Locke, who did one of the best songs of the evening, should be safe - and she is. Trenyce is in the bottom. So the three people left in the booby zone are my choice, the family choice, and the woman that everyone wants off but no one thinks will be going.
Judges thoughts? Randy says that Kim Caldwell shouldn't be in the bottom three. Paula agrees, saying that Kim raised her game. Simon thought that a Kim raised her game - but it was Kimberley Locke. Trenyce raised her game enough to be sent to the Happy Couch.
We are down to Kim and Carmen. But first - the results are that Ryan wins with 41% of the votw. Spongebob got 34% and Simon got 25%. Kimberly Caldwell needed a few more %'s - she is gone and Carmen gets to warble on for another week. Always go with the family - they are right for the week.
So what do they say for next week? Trenyce or Carmen will be gone, and let the sausaging begin! We'll see if they are right next week...
So this is supposed to be an hour of singing - no pressure, no worries, and no judging. Don't believe it. You have to realize that the true judges are the American Public - and every time that you step up on the stage, whether intentionally or not, you give us something to judge you for - or against.So just keep it in mind.
We start with the whole montage of the judges, and where how we got to the final 6. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Snore.
We start with Carmen Rasmussen - and it's very evident that all we are getting is a repeat as we see the history of her on this show. This is a 60 minutes live repeat - if you can imagine that. She gets ased about the flirting between Carmen and Clay, and she let's America think what they want to. She sings 'Can't Hurry Love' - which, following the theme tonight, is a repeat from what she sang earlier on in the season. She actually sings it better now than she did earlier - unfortunately for her, that's not saying much.
Next up is Josh Gracin and his United States Marine Corps story. He starts to beat up on Simon, but relents a little, knowing that Simon will be judging him. The question asked is what will he do post American Idol? He says he'll go back to the Marine Corps since he has a year left - and hopefully the doors of music will be open for him. He does the best song that he's done for the show 'Amazed' - and he gets to his country twangy self.
Our third singer is Kimberley Locke. She's going to be conservative, and although she has opened up a bit, she wants to stay classy. Actually, all of them have been pretty conservative, when you look at it. We see her in her audition days - and the change has been amazing, to say the least. I guess no one wanted to ask her questions. She sings 'I can't Make You Love Me' - and that's it for her.
Next up is - Ruuuuuuuben. We see his opening clip. We find out that he has a manicure and pedicure. We also find out that his best friend on the show was Rickey Smith, and that he tells the audience to buy Rickey's albums. Unfortunately, instead of something meaningful, like an ask a question, or something like that, we get caught in a lame '205' sketch. After the sketch, he sings 'Superstar' - which is one of the songs that he sang to get to the finals. Very interesting song choice.
Our next singer up is Trenyce. She talks about how she got into the Wild Card Round. Time to ask Trenyce who her idols are. She says umber one is G-d. Safe answer. Then she says Whitney Houston.Next question - where does she want to see herself in 5 years? She wants to be behind the scenes - either as a music writer or a producer. She sings a song from her Idol - 'Don't Make me Cry'from Whitney Houston.
Finally, it's Clay Aiken. He tals about his past with special kids. AwwwwwwBARF. He does 'Somewhere Out There.', which I actually, thought was a lousy choice of song. he was the only person who I thought did not pick out a good song. But he sings it and after a goupr rendition of Lionel Richie's All Night Long, we are outtie.
So this is a safe show - no one did anything to help - or hurt - their cause. That changes tomorrow night. We'll see where the damage is coming from in 24 hours...
We start the second half of the Finals. Ryan appears - and tells us that because everyone did such hard work from yesterday, they are taking the night off and 24 will be going on a 2 hour special. Ha ha ha.
He tells us that according to Neilson, Kelly Clarkson's album will be number one next week, the song 'G-d Bless the USA will be the number one single (I haven't heard that song at all on any radio station around here) and that the show is the number one show (while it is good, it's not number 1). Maybe it's Ryan's brain that took the night off this evening? Oh wait, Ryan's brain usually takes off on Tuesday and Wednesday nights - silly me.
But seriously, we have a serious show, and after the introductions of everyone, we get tonight's theme - the songs of legendary songwriter Diane Warren. Now, a few things about Diane Warren. #1 - She is the queen of the power ballad, so if you don't like those, you're in a world of hurt. #2. She is a very good friend of Simon's, so it will be really interesting to hear how she judges.
First up - Kimberley Locke. She sings 'If You Asked Me To'- a song that I actually enjoyed before hearing Kimberley singing it. This is the first really rotten choice from here - the pitch is all off, and it doesn't give her a chance to exploit her dynamic range. Wrong notes all over the place and she takes a huge step backwards from last week. At least, that's my opinion. Does anybody agree with me? Randy doesn't - 'you may be the best tonight - that was brilliant.' Paula agrees with Randy. Diane thought that Kimberley was awesome. Simon? 'Since you got rid of that weird hair, you sung better.' Maybe they are getting a different frequency in California than I am in NYC.
Next up is Clay Aiken - and we get his grandmother to introduce him. At least she didn't have to say anything stupid, like the other relatives that have been on the show. Clay, Aiken, master of the balled, decides to sing....a ballad. Clay does 'I Could Not Ask For More.' I could, but at least he was less pitchy than Kimberley. He also showed emotion this week and it looks that he has decided to stop sleepwalking in his performances. It still sounds karaoke to me, but it is a step up from what I'm used to hearing. Randy thinks that he's one of the best, and Paula says that it's another wonderful week - but add some more choreography. Diane thought that he did a great job. Simon's Advice? 'As a Broadway artist, you will make a fortune - I just don't think that you will make it as a performing artist.'Diane gives him a 'Sorry I don't do Nice' T-shirt. I have to agree with Simon - Broadway, yes, Pop Music, no.
Would you like to give the Idolers a new hair-style? You can do it on the web site, and Herbal Essences afters a blatant hair care to everyone - except Ruben. What's up with that? No one wants to give Mr 205 any Hair Care?
The new read-streaked Trenyce sings 'Have You Ever' - and she gets help from Diane. Too bad Diane couldn't give her help on pitch on the stage. Horrendous pitchy effort - She gets an A for Effort - but unfortunately Effort doesn't start with A, and that's how far her pitch was. Randy thought that it was better than last week. Paula thought she was in control, and Diane thought that she gets better every week. Let's see if Simon can shed some reality into it. 'You are still one of the only performers that I still know nothing about, because you give nothing away. It's almost like you wear a mask on stage.' Wha? Definitely has to be the water out there on the West Coast.
Joshua Gracin is up next - and he sings one of Diane's favorites 'That's Wen I'll stop Loving you' - and we find out that he sang it to his future wife in high school. Awwwwwbarf. And the pitch problems just keep on coming. Carmen may be sounding pretty good compared to the last 2 efforts. He can't keep the high note at the end either. Now I give out good efforts for the people who try to do hard stuff, but this is something that he was singing in high school, for crying out loud. He should get roasted over the coals for this one. Randy thought that he was sharp the whole time. Paula thought that he was vulnerable. Simon? '#1 You sang the song through your nose. #2 You've proved again...that you just changed your style. Thirdly, you're a marine and you just had a bronze-dyed hair commercial. I wouldn't want to go back to the platoon after that.' Josh is very respectful towards his elders, so he won't say anything. He shouldn't - that was terrible.
Up next is Carmen Rasmussen. She sings 'Love will Leave You Back.' I still hate the tremolo in her voice, but she was the best on pitch besides Clay, and as much as I don't understand me saying this, could she be the best female singer tonight? Of course, that's not saying much either, and I also expect her to be blasted. Boy, am I right. Randy 'We're trying to find the best in America - I don't think you're even close.' Paula think that it was the best that she heard her sing. Simon? 'Common sense talking now. I think they're both sort of right - you were better than last week. Having said this, we're in the final 6 of this competition. You can't win this competition... however, you've done well to get this far. Well done.' She was the best that I've heard her - but based on what I thought of the other 2 women, Roseanne Barr could be the best singer of the evening.
The final singer is Ruuuuuuben. Do you ever notice that either Ruben or Clay is last - you don't think it's because they know who they are voting for and that they stick the most popular guy at the end, do you? Diane can't wait for Ruben to sing his song - which is 'Music For My Heart.' He finally gets some emotion into it, we hear his upper register, and it's one of his better performances. Or maybe it's because I haven't been happy with any of the performances this evening and I just want something half-decent. Let's see what the judges think. Randy puts him up with Clay. Paula was impressed that Ruben showed us his upper register and Diane was happy that he made his song his own. Simon? 'I was the person who asked you to change your style...you were fantastic...Great night tonight...the only advice I'm going to give you and Clay now is watch out for Kimberley Locke.'
So who should be the bottom three? Based on the judges, the bottom three should be Carmen, Josh and Trenyce. Based on my own personal opinion - and JUST on last night's performance, my preference would be Carmen, Josh and Trenyce. But it's the audiences vote, and I will go against the grain and say that there will be a sausage party in the safe zone as all three women will be on the bottom. We'll see how safe the estrogen are tomorrow.
Gordon: Hello again - I am back and I have brought a guest with me tonight - being the yang to my yin is Anthony Rojas
Anthony: Yank your yin? is that you say hello? Wassup people!!
Gordon: That's Anthony for you - anyways, as a die-hard AI person, he is here tonight to do color commentary for tonights show. We'll start off with the predictions - as you all know, on yesterday's set, I predicted that although I believe that Josh, Trenyce and Carmen should be at the bottom, all three women would be on the bottom - Anthony, what is your opinion?
Anthony: I think carmen gets the boot and Josh and Trenyce will join her in the bottom 3. Go kimberly locke!!
Gordon: I like her too - but the voting patterns suggest otherwise - do you think it will be any other final 2 showdown besides Ruben Vs, Clay?
Anthony: Ruben sounds like the favorite, but i agreed with Simon when he said Clay is more for the theater side. I would put Kimberly second.
Gordon: For the record, I would agree with you - but I think thet Josh Gracin would have to be considered the dark horse - he may be the Nikki Mckibbin of the series
Anthony: Oh my! you agree with me? What is the world coming too? I have to also agree about Josh but i think he's more popular than Carmen. Both did horrible
Gordon: Agreed - but I think they are both more popular than Trenyce
Anthony: What is this 3 for 3? Stop copying me! We all know Trenyce is sweet and very capable. She just didnt show it yesterday like she should.
Gordon: So then why are you saying that it's Carmen who will be booted?
Anthony: Cause America would keep Trenyce over Carmen
Gordon: Because?
Anthony: From past performances, Trenyce is Whitney houston capable. Carmen is prom party, and Josh needs to go back home to military
Gordon: Do you really think that the military will let Josh down now?
Anthony: I think they will let him continue until he gets the boot.
Gordon: It's interesting - do you think that the military, with all of their technology, are using all of it to keep him on the show?
Anthony: I don't know what the reason maybe, but if you were in their shoes would you want the publicity?
Gordon: Hell yeah - that's why I think that it may not be a Clay/Ruben final - is the military pull so strong that Josh could knock Clay or Ruben out?
Anthony: Oh gosh, if Josh makes it to the final I will walk outside naked! Thats how confident i am he wont be there
Gordon: I will vote specifically so that ther world can be spared from that. Rank these 3 - Ruben, Clay, and Kimberley
Anthony: 1 3 2
Gordon: Is there any chance that Ruben does not get to the finals?
Anthony: Well when he's put in the best for last slot most of these past weeks, and the crowd absolutely loves this guy, it's hard to imagine him not being there. He is better than all of them. Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuubeeeeeeeeennnnnnn. It would be a great final if Ruben and Kim was there - or Ruben/Clay
Gordon: Did you think that Tamyra Gray would be in the finals?
Anthony: I would agree with that
Gordon: Could it happen again?
Anthony: Well you never know, Rickey smith boot shocked some of us.
Gordon: I was surprised - but not shocked - he did deserve to go bye bye
Anthony: Shocked, surprised same thing.
Gordon: Well, here we go with American Idol - after Last Night's Performances come tonight's dramas. We are live - doesn't Ryan look shiny tonight in his light blue shirt?
Anthony: I dont notice those things Gordon. I notice his corny-ness
Gordon: The gravy train is terminating in Nowhereville tonight, according to Ryan - and they have to highlight their own hair - yes Ryan's corniness is in fullbloom tonight. After the recap of last night, when Randy Jackson was apparently taking Simon pills, We get to hear them sing 'Shine'. Carmen is already starting to put us in a happy off=pitch mood
Anthony: Carmen singing = meow
Gordon: Notice the crowd only goes nuts when Ruben and Clay are singing by themselves?
Anthony: Its a sign - forshadowing the future
Gordon: I still go by the THIS IS FOX mantra - something weird will happen, and I still say that there will be something else besides a Clay/Ruben FInal 2
Anthony: You might be right, but only time will tell.
Gordon: Whats your prediction - right now, April 23, 8:40pm - who are your 2 finalists?
Anthony: Ruben and Kimberly
Gordon: Maybe I'll go really out there and go Ruben and JOSH
Anthony: Whoa, now i think you've lost it
Gordon: JUST KIDDING. Just to be different, I'll say Ruben and Clay - tee hee hee
Anthony: what a surprise, or should i say shock?
Gordon: Here we go with the people - Carmen is first and she is in the bottom three - surprised?
Anthony: Good for her
Gordon: Ruben is next - he stays in the top three - thoughts?
Anthony: Not at all, I am right again
Gordon: We're both 2 for2
Anthony: Yep
Gordon: Clay Aiken - we both pick to stay on the happy couch
Anthony: Yes
Gordon: He stays on the happy couch - and Simon gets booed
Anthony: Yay!
Gordon: Trenyce is next - and we both see her going to the bottom three - and she does - that a surprise?
Anthony: Not at all - I think she is the best of the bottom 3 so far
Gordon: I agree - We get one awful video - what in the world is that? What sort of horrific Ford Ad was that?
Anthony: its Fun fun, Happy Days style
Gordon: So then we plug plug plug until Daddy takes American Idol awayyyyyyyyyyy...ok - back to the show - and now it's Josh Vs. Kimberley - you think Kim makes it to the top 3 - and I think there will be a sausage fest. Josh goes to the bottom three this week, but let me tell you something - I'm glad. He deserves to be there.
Anthony: Once again Im right - and carmen should get a shiny boot to her behind
Gordon: Randy says that Carmen should be eliminated, Paula says that Carmen should be happy to be inthe top 6, and Simon says that none of them have a shot of winning the competition right now. 'Whatever 2 are left, you really have to raise your game right now.' Trenyce gets to go back to safety - which means that Im wrong in terms of my guessing the audience, but at least my faith in the American public has been justified.
Anthony: I love being right
Gordon: It's funny - because you can never get a bead on the audience - I think they did the right thing from a musical point of view, but where the heck was this from the audience weeks ago, when both of these people should have been gone?
Anthony: Well sometimes the bubble doesn't burst
Gordon: Anthony says Carmen - just to solidify the vote, I'll say that the marines were upset with Josh and his commercial for the blonde hair and that he goes tonight. Let me ask you this - should either of them be in the top 6? Or should there be other people there besides them?
Anthony: Hmm, I think Rickey should have been there instead of carmen but thats about it
Gordon: Carmen is gone - and not a moment too soon
Anthony: And Im right again!
Gordon: You are just the pulse of the American Public. Carmen sings her last song - which is the last time that she will be bleeding our ears.
Anthony: Thank the lord! Now its time for me to watch and recap Bach 3
Gordon: Any Final words as to this week and who's going next week?
Anthony: Josh is out - but anything could happen
Gordon: I'll have to agree - no military support = bye bye - but that could also tell the Josh voters to move their fannies for next week...for Anthony, this is Gordon - we'll see if Anthony is right again next week
Let's see - we have 5 people left - so for an hour show, that means we will have five performances (hopefully, they will be longer that normal) and a heck of a lot of filler. Yeeee-haw.
He announces them as the 'A' Team. After the introduction to that - and the lame intros of the judges, we are off.
We start with a nice surprise - the singers will be singing 2 songs tonight! One song will be from the 60's, and the other song will be performed from the pen of tonight's guest judge - Neil Sedaka! The good news is that we are not going to get a lot of filler. The bad news is that we will be getting 2 lame efforts from Josh Gracin - but for his sake, since he was on the bubble last week, he better not be serving up any stinkers.
So since we will be getting 2 performances it tonight, we start with Ruuuuuuuben (but don't worry, we'll be seeing him again right before we close, I believe). He sings 'Ain't too proud to beg'. I hate to say this, but he is very very pitchy this evening, and this may be the worst that I heard him. Will the judges agree? Randy says that he sounded like a winner, Neil doesn't get nervous with him, and Paula thinks that he's cool with the moves. Simon gives the song a 9, and the outfit a 2. 'Now I know why there's a cow shortage in California.' OUCH. By the way, Rickey Smith is in the house. Amazing how a star 3 weeks ago is yesterday's news, eh?
Next up is Trenyce - and she sings 'Proud Mary'. You know what makes a song sound Karaoke? When you hear mysterious voices come out of nowhere. I liked her performance, but the voices coming out of nowhere unnerve me. Maybe you should see the back up singers, because with no band or singers there, it sounds weird. She sounded very nice though. Randy agrees and says that she bought it tonight. Neil agrees - and he's another blatant male version of Paula. Paula herself likes it. It reminded Simon of a drag act - but she made the effort. The crowd boos him. Maybe it's the weird background vocals coming out of nowhere...
'Then You can Tell Me Good-Bye' is the song that Joshua Gracin sings. If he doesn't do well tonight, then we will be telling him good-bye. He plays it safe and sings a country song. It's sort of a double-edged sword. He loses points with me because he doesn't do a different genre besides country, but he loses points anyways because he sounds awful in any other genre EXCEPT country. But this is a country song, and he sings it well. Randy agrees with me (though it didn't blow him away). Neil likes his shy quality, and Paula thought that it was beautiful - but he wasn't free with iot. Simon? 'I think that you really have a problem in this competition at this moment...I think you have one more song to save you, because that was dreary.' Ryan wants to know what exactly Simon does like. Josh's response? 'Drag Queens.' I don't know if that impresses the drag queens, but Josh is slowly but surely getting rid of his wholesome happy military image and getting into a surly rebel look. That is not a good thing.
After Simon and Ryan exchange friendly repartees (which are too stupid to go into, but they involved them going on a blind date), Kimberley Locks sings 'I Heard it Through the Grapevine.' I know why Simon would want to put her as a contender (trying to build up suspense to try to think that there is a remote possibility of anything besides a Ruben/Clay showdown). She has a very nice performance, but she is not in Clay or Ruben's league, and Randy says that it's just good. Neil says that she's ear-delicious. Paula was happy with the song, while Simon, disappointed, thought that Kimberley was capable of better. I have to agree with the male judges.
And to emphasize my point, here comes Clay Aiken. He sings 'Build me Up, Buttercup', and he is raising his game. A much better effort from him, and not only is he doing something upbeat, he is actually moving around and is sounding popish. Clay is improving his game. Randy thought that he did a great job. 'I was entertained.' Neil says that he would write and kill to produce his first cd, and Paula wants to give him a hug. What will SImon say? 'I think you made the effort I think you came out to perform today.' I have to give this round to Clay.
We now go to the second round of songs - Neil Sedaka. Ruuuuubuen starts it off again with 'Breaking Up is Hard To Do.' I hope he does a better job this time around. He does, which is good, but he still sounds uninspiring to me. He couldn't possibly be in trouble for two flat performances, could he? Randy said that he sang it like a veteran and Neil was thrilled. So was Paula. Simon says thought that it was absolutely sensational. I didn't feel it tonight, dawg.
Can I be feeling Trenyce? She sings 'Love Will Keep Us Together'. I have the same problem with what she did now. Loved the performances, hated the background vocals, and I may have to side with SImon in terms of the drag queeney-ness to it. Randy said that she came to win and Paula thought that she had a brilliant night. Simon? 'It was fabulous. Well done.'
Hey look - it' a blatant plug from Hayley and Miss Personality! Fox doing crossover plugs? Who'd have think it?
Josh is up next - and he does 'Bad Blood'. It's....yes, wait for it....another country/rock song. Sigggggh. Josh needs to go. He can't even do this song properly - and it's a song in his genre. I don't need to see him do another bad song, whether it's in his genre or not. Randy inexplicably thought that this performance was better. Neil thinks that he needs to relax, and Paula loved it. Simon, please bring us back into reality. 'Josh this is not personal - the bar has been raised, Your performances were not good enough to stay in this performance anymore.' Thanks you, Simon. Josh says something stupid to alienate himself even more from his core group, and we're done with him.
Kimberley Locke sings 'Where the Boys Are'. This is much much better from her. This is a much wiser choice of song, and she sounds better (though a little pitchy in the middle). Randy thought it was hot, while Neil thought she was sugar-sweet and Paula enjoyed it. Simon's opinion? 'Kimberley, thank you for proving my point. You've gone beyond the bar. Congratulations.'
Finally, it's Clay Aiken. He sings 'Solitaire' and I am very impressed with him this evening. He is showing his vocal versatility - and he is sounding popish and he is shedding the broadway moniker. He gets a standing ovation and even Simon is impressed. 'You are one of the few people in this competition who can take criticism like an adult...you were fantastic.' Yes he was, and for the first time, I will actually be putting him first in terms of overall performance for the evening.
So who goes? From a performance standpoint, there is no way that Josh Gracin should be around after tomorrow night. But I can't see three straight country singers leave - especially since there will be no one left representing the genre. Trenyce may be in big trouble. We'll see who is in 24 hours.
Gordon: I am back - and so is Anthony
Anthony: Hi ya'll
Gordon: Now if you remember last time, Anthony, you boasted about having the pulse of the American public, did you not?
Anthony: Of course - I know what im doing
Gordon: Well, just for you, I have brought in a normal (well, as close to normal as we can get) member of the voting american public here - this is Pete. Say hi, Pete
Pete: Hello everyone
Gordon: Now Pete, do you consider yourself a normal (well, relatively normal) American Idol watcher?
Pete: Somewhat normal yes
Gordon: There you go - let's see how well Anthony matches up against a normal member of America. Did you see American Idol last night?
Pete: Yes sir i did
Gordon: ok - Who is your favorite singer so far?
Anthony: say KIMBERLY LOCKE
Gordon: There will be NO coaching to the unbiased American public by the biased writer
Pete: I would have to say Ruben by far
Gordon: HA!
Anthony: boooo he picked the favorite. It's like picking the Yankees to win, it's obvious
Gordon: He's the favorite because that's what MOST of the pulse of America is thinking - that's why is the is perfect pulse of America person. Pete, are you a Yankee fan?
Pete: Yes I am a Yankee fan
Gordon: See - what did I tell you, Anth? He's Mr Majority
Pete: Sorry you Met fans in years of torment
Anthony: lol yep
Pete: Looks can't be everything. Talent has to play a part. He is the favorite for one reason and one reason only. HE IS THAT GOOD
Gordon: So Pete, who would you vote to get rid of tonight?
Anthony: zzzzzzzz That's simple
Pete: Joshua!!!!!!!!
Anthony: I'll tell you one thing, Josh may be in the bottom three but the other two spots are kind of unpredictable
Gordon: I think Josh and Trenyce are both there - the question is does Kimberley join them or do one of the to 2 guys get a very rude awakening?
Anthony: You know america likes Clay
Pete: At this point there should be no lame performances from anyone, but Josh had a few.
Gordon: Pete - who are your bottom three?
Pete: Josh, Trenyce, and Kimberley
Gordon: There's the American pulse for you - do you agree, Anthony?
Anthony: I second that
Pete: Clay is to good to go. Ruben has talent
Gordon: I would have to agree with that - I thought Ruben was flat last night, but not lifeless enough to be put in third
Anthony: I think Clay is more popular and thats why he gets the attention but he needs to move over to theater
Gordon: I dont know about that - I thought he was very impressive on Monday - what did you think about Clay, Pete?
Pete: Clay was solid
Gordon: Was he better than Ruben last night?
Pete: It is a tough call. Ruben sounded good
Gordon: I thought Clay raised his game last night and that Ruben is still stuck in Barry White-ville - he needs to expand in order to win
Pete: Ruben has that r&b/ gospel soul to him
Gordon: Clay had the theater thing going on and he was able to cross into the pop side - Ruben has to do that as well in order to win the big one
Pete: I think you haven't seen it all from Ruben
Gordon: I agree - but when do we see it?
Pete: I think by next week - The stakes get higher
Gordon: He better - or he may get a nasty surprise - before AI starts - who gets booted?
Anthony: Josh
Pete: i think tonight that is it
Gordon: If it was just on musical performance, I would agree, but it's not. Carmen stayed on for all eternity - her voters will now vote for Josh - especially because they know that he is in trouble. I will go out on a limb and say that...TRENYCE is the one who gets booted
Anthony: WHAT!
Pete: I think you give sympathy to much credit
Anthony: Gordon stay off the drugs
Pete: The women seem to stay a lot longer than men
Gordon: But I agree that if it was called Talent Idol, that Josh would be gone. So will the filler in American Idol be entertaining tonight?
Pete: The whole point is; if you do a poll on male vs. female, then female would win
Gordon: Is it just me, or is Josh looking more and more psychotic?
Anthony: Im going out on a limb here, Clay is on the bottom 3
Pete: CRACK SMOKER
Gordon: I'll say RUBEN is in the bottom 3
Pete: HEROIN ADDICT
Gordon: and Pete will be the pulse of America and be predictable
Gordon: So we start with the time filler - and Ryan points out the signs. ARGH
Pete: Ruben is that good
Gordon: Justin Guarini is back - ARRRRRRRGH. And we get o see a Boston Public filler - and more filler from X2, and Burt Bacharach - anyone up for 40 minutes worth of filler? We get last night's recap with Neil Sedaka. After the recap - we see the Idolers singing 'Everything is alright'. And the choreography is worse than Rubens suit from last night.
Anthony: Thats the style YO
Pete: Ruben is big but good
Anthony: stop drinking Haterade
Gordon: I like Ruben's voice - I hate his clothes - and I hate Josh even more - can I stick his head in a vat of haterade?
Anthony: josh is on MEOWWWW
Gordon: Anthony just wants a stomach as big as Rubens. If Ruben wants to get out of the stereotypical voice, then has to stop singing th stereotypical parts
Pete: Yes, but Clay can work a crowd
Anthony: America loves RUUUUUUBEN
Gordon: So out of the opening medley, who sang the best?
Pete: CLAY
Gordon: I got to go with Clay - but Trenyce for me was a close second - Anthony?
Anthony: Clay, Kimberly
Gordon: Just like to point out - NONE of you said RUBEN as the first 2 choices
Pete: You didn't like ruben as the Pillsbury dough boy?
Anthony: Cause im sick of him. GO kimberly!!
Gordon: Could America be sick of him and have him slip to the bottom 3 tonight?
Pete: Talent hater
Anthony: If it was clay vs ruben, clay would win
Pete: Bye Bye Josh
Anthony: yep
Pete: Have a nice life
Gordon: We get to see a reprise of 'What the World Needs Now - Is Love Sweet Love' I like the fact that they are at least singing for filler instead of dumb corny gags.
Gordon: Meanwhile, while the song os playing, here come some of the booted out Idolers. Riiiiiiiiicky - He's back - and so is Kim Caldwell and Carmen
Anthony: HERCULES HURCULES!!!
Pete: i still got 2 more minutes of fame
Gordon: Julia DeMato is there - and Julia screws up the last note
Pete: But she is gorgeous - I would not kick her out
Gordon: And we go to commercial with a corny Ford commercial. NO Corey Clark - does that surprise you?
Anthony: lol COREY likes beating up his sister
Gordon: I love you - now let me kick your ass
Pete: Could they milk any more commercials
Anthony: They gotta make money somehow
Gordon: Gee - like they are not making enough money there
Pete: Some how. They just bought 10 747's
Gordon: We get American Juniors on May 27 - will you be watching?
Pete: WOW How about american toddlers?
Anthony: Will there be a mini-like-a-virgin boy there
Gordon: The Idolers visit Boston Public and meet Tamyra Gray - and we see the Idolers as a cameo...What about All-American Girl - you think that would be a good idea, Anthony?
Anthony: no way ergghh
Pete: NO NO NO
Gordon: Next up - an interview with Justin Guarini - which is more like a push for the American Idol movie. He's working with Babyface. And of course, he plugs the movie. And he says that him and Kelly are friends as he sings a song from the new movie...and he is just as bad now as he was in the regular American Idol
Anthony: This is why he won second
Pete: Yeah ,but he is getting more tale than most
Gordon: Would you like a little Kelly Clarkson tail?
Pete: oh Yeah
Anthony: i hear Babyface, not Justin
Pete: that is the idea for sales
Gordon: I hear an awful mess. Pete - what do you think of Justin's singing?
Pete: do you hear a dog howling?
Anthony: MEOW!
Gordon: well, that answers my question - how did you, the American public, let him get to the finals in the first season over Tamyra Gray? Pete - as a member of the American public - I hold you accountable - explain yourself
Pete: DDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH...I don't know George. Maybe boobs played a part
Gordon: lets say you are a woman - would you have voted for Tamyra or Justin and why?
Pete: Same sex anger leaves Justin way out in front
Anthony: I would have, but women fall in love for the guy - like Clay
Pete: Clay has that dumb look
Anthony: to us, but to women they go nuts - just like Justin of AI 1
Gordon: But Clay also has talent
Pete: Could be stoned or i'm crying for you - That is the look he gives
Gordon: who would more gay guys vote for - Clay and the dumb guy look, or Trenyce and the 'Drag Queen' (according to Simon) sound?
Pete: Trenyce because she is fabulous
Anthony: I second that
Gordon: Next up - Ramen's Chinese theater - and a sneak preview of X2. They meet the stars and see the movie - how much do you think that they paid for the plug?
Gordon: Here we go with the bottom 2 - interesting.
Gordon: well, we cant guess the bottom three - so we'll have to guess the bottom 2.
Anthony: now its Try and Josh
Gordon: You guys say that - I will have to say Trenyce and Ruben. Meanwhile, Kimberley Locke is safe
Anthony: Kimberly! YAY!!
Gordon: Clay is up next - and he is, of course, safe
Pete: I'm gonna cry
Gordon: Why are you going to cry?
Gordon: Trenyce is up - and she is in the bottom 2
Gordon: I guess no one is surprised by that?
Anthony: Nope. This is obvious
Gordon: It's down to Josh and Ruben - do either of you think that there is a chance that Ruben is in the bottom 2?
Anthony: never
Gordon: Pete?
Pete: Nope
Gordon: Well, they do the standard rigamarole, and sure enough, RUBEN joins Trenyce in the bottom 2.
Anthony: WOW
Gordon: I TOLD YOU SO
Pete: Wow. Just wow
Gordon: LOTS of booing this week from the audience
Anthony: Simon is pissed
Gordon: Here come the judges thoughts - Randy is shocked. Paula thinks that it's absolutely ridiculous. Simon says that the public has the right to vote and you have to respect their wishes - please America, judge this as a singing competition.
Anthony: Sometimes people dont vote for the favorite - they go for the 2nd or 3rd best
Gordon: People vote for their favorite that is in trouble - thats why I KNEW that Josh was safe - who's smoking crack now?
Anthony: I think FOX is trying to shake things up to make everyone vulnerable
Pete: I have to say bye to Trenyce. Neither should be gone
Anthony: if that happens i refuse to watch the show
Pete: Say the truth - Josh stunk
Gordon: I agree with you - Josh was horrible. But the voting is not on talent.
Pete: It can not be a talent vote
Anthony: I think people assumed that Ruben will get votes and voted for the rest...I haven't voted for ruben
Gordon: BUT - it's not based on who is horrible, it's based on the voting public - Josh should have been out weeks ago - the fact that he's here and that he was in trouble motivated the audience to vote. Thats how Ricky got knocked out - and that's how Ruben could be knocked out tonight
Anthony: Gordon you jinx-er
Gordon: Im just maintaining my reputation as master picker, that's all. Trenyce sings a last song - Proud Mary
Anthony: Could it be her last?
Gordon: Ruben sings his possibly last song - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Anthony: Might be for a reason
Gordon: You still stunned, Anthony?
Anthony: Uh Huh
Gordon: This is seeming more like a funeral dirge right now than a singing competition. People are dancing and crying on each other - Paula is sitting on Simon's lap. Ricky and Julia are doing a slow dance
Anthony: I'm telling you Fox is doing this on purpose, to shake up that anyone can lose
Gordon: I'll say this, if Ruben gets knocked out, then just hand the title over to Clay
Anthony: Tell me about it
Gordon: I predicted this at the beginning, did I not?
Anthony: Unfortunately u did
Gordon: I'll take my king of predicting title back now (snatches crown off of Anthony's head)
Gordon: We are back from commercial, and Ryan tells Ruben that he is safe. Trenyce is eliminated.
Anthony: Right move
Gordon: A huge sigh of relief is coming from area code 205
Anthony: You think?
Gordon: I'll tell you this, Ruben won't be close to getting knocked out next week - the voters got a huge wake-up call
Gordon: Trenyce sings 'Love Will Keep Us Together' and we are out of here
Anthony: for next week, JOSH WILL BE OUT!!! BUH BYE!
Gordon: Maybe...or Could Clay be the next person to be shocked? We'll see next time. A special thanks to Anthony Rojas and the man named Pete, the pulse of the American public...see you next week.
So we are down to the final 4 - Clay, Ruben, Josh and Kimberley. Maybe we'll get to hear them each sing 3 songs!!! Maybe not. Ryan comes down to say hi to everyone - and introduces the Final 4 and the judges. 'We're in the final homestretch, dawg - it's sink or swim' says Randy Jackson - and they do have to - especially since tonight's songs are going to be based on The Bee Gees!! And the guest judge is Robin Gibb!!!!
I've always liked the Bee Gees - and we get to see a clip of them in the olden days. You see that they are very versatile - we know that they did Saturday Night Live - but they also did Grease and Barbara Streisand - which means that there should be plenty in different genres to pick from.
We get to have 2 performances by the contestants, and we start with 'Jive Talkin' with Joshua Gracin. What about Jive singing? Pitch problems all over the place, but why is he walking around? I hope this is not his version of choreography. Yet another awful performance by Gracin, but he has his legions of fans, so he may not be going off. Randy was impressed - and saying that Josh may be back. Paula thought he was awesome, and even Simon thought he was better than last week, but he should be happy that he's doing 2 songs. It's still not bad, and I have a feeling that Simon is withholding his comments because he does not want the groundswell of fans to come rescue him like they did last week, when they knew that he was in trouble.
Clay is next his song 'To Love Somebody'. I don't know tonight - he's got that Peter Cetera thing going on and I don't know if I like it. It definitely seems like he regressed from last week, when he blew me away. Still very good though - much better than Josh. The judges give him a standing ovation - Simon? 'Probably one of the best performances that I've heard for the entire competition.'
Kimberley Locke just wants to be your everything - at least that's what she's singing. Like Clay, she was not nearly as good this week as she was last week - and she may have been even pitchier than Josh. The crowd likes it. Ricky Smith likes it - why are we seeing Ricky in every episode? He's off already! GET OVER IT. The first three judges fawn over her - but it didn't do it for Simon. 'You can boo all you like, I thought it was sweet and ordinary - it was alright, nothing special.' I have to agree with Simon here - and it's bordering on mediocre.
Ryan asks a little kid with thunder sticks if he wants to see 'The Big Guy' - and the kid says no. Uh-oh. But Ruben Studdard comes out anyways. He sings 'Knights of Broadway' and he's much much better than last week. He finally gets some emotion into it, like he actually needs to sing tonight. He gets the Ruuuuuuuben chants. Randy is very happy about his performance, as is Paula and Mr Gibb, who just says lovely things about everyone. But Simon says lovely things too. 'I think if you weren't in this competition, it wouldn't be the same. Superb.'
One round over - so far, my choice is Ruben, Clay, Josh, Kimberley. But we have a second round coming up! Joshua Grayson decided to also do 'To Love Somebody'. He does it completely country, and he's gone back to his safe happy place. Sure, it's good, but country is the only thing that he can do well. But if it makes his contingency happy...and it even makes the judges happy too. Simon 'That was risky - but you pulled it off. Well done.' You hear some sarcasm with Simon?
Clay is next up - and he sings 'Grease'. Something a little out of his element, but a smart choice. Choreography has to change - this is a disco song, and he's just standing there gyrating. Huh? He sounds good, though. 'Horrible. Everything about that was horrible. He had a great performance, then he throws it all away because he was horrible.' could Simon be trying to advance the Chaos theory by making people think that Clay was in trouble?
Kimberley is singing 'Emotions' - and it should be a much better choice for her than her first song. It is - but she's still pitchy and the background vocals bring back the Karaoke word. The judges love her - gee they are loving everyone - well, almost all of the judges. 'Good - but I don't think it was your best night.' you can guess where that one comes from (besides me).
The last singer of the evening is Mr. Studdard with 'how can you mend a Broken Heart.' Ruben takes a step forward this week - much better than last week, and the choice of songs this week may have been his best effort to date. Simon? 'What you proved tonight - consistency. Both songs were sensational.'
So now what happens? If we bas it on performance, Kimberley and Josh are in the bottom 2, and Kimberley goes bye-bye. If we go back to the chaos theory, we know that Ruben's fans know from last week that he was in trouble, so they will come out in droves. Ruben will also get a boost from Trenyce's fans that can't vote for the now ex-contestant Trenyce. Also getting a boost will be Kimberley Locke. Joshua's fans know that he will be in trouble, so they will also be voting. That leaves...Clay. The guy who took over the number one spot. The guy who voters may feel is safe, so maybe they won't vote for him as hard - and that could cost him. But Clay? Clay couldn't be voted off, could he? COULD he?
Welcome to the special 2 HOUR pregame chat before AI tonight. This one will be long, so grab a beverage. We have Anthony Rojas and tonight's special guest, Chico Alexander.
Chico: I told my brother that I think Clay bought it today.
Gordon: What did he say
Chico: "Sorry, you say something?"
Chico: Just zones everyone out...
Anthony: Can u hear me now?
Gordon: Clay will be in the bottom 2
Anthony: no way kim was good
Gordon: No she wasn't
Chico: Yeah, but it wasn't her night.
Anthony: Hater
Gordon: I wouldnt be surprised if Kim or Clay left
Anthony: It better be josh
Chico: I say Clay and Josh, with Josh going home
Gordon: Josh is the male Nikki Mckibbin
Chico: So does that make Clay Tamyra?
Anthony: maybe
Gordon: Clay and Kim, and in the Shocker, Clay 'Tamyra' Aiken leaves
Chico: Just what we need, Clay going on Boston Public complaining of his abusive girlfriend.
Gordon: Because everyone will be calling up to save Ruben, Josh and Kim fans will be calling through too, and everyone will think that Clay is safe - and it will be season one, all over again
Anthony: thats what happened to ruben last week
Gordon: Except Clay isn't as good - call him Clay 'Guarini Aiken. Thats why I think that Ruben will win the whole thing - because he is so strong that even with that, he still had enough fans to come and save him
Anthony: maybe or maybe not
Chico: Needless to say, tonight's vote will be interesting.
Anthony: It could be any of the 4
Chico: Or three. Ruben's pretty much a lock - But then again, that's my opinion - I could be wrong
Gordon: I think Ruben's a lock too. Rate everyone from least likely to most likely to go - I pick Ruben, Josh, Kimberley, Clay
Chico: Ruben, Kimberley, Clay, Josh. The last two are tied.
Anthony: For some reason i think its Clay, Ruben, Kim, Josh
Gordon: This feels like a Survivor Roundtable
Chico: Let's face it, Clay can't dance. He ain't a dancer.
Anthony: very true but remember whos voting
Gordon: Clay can gyrate, just like Todd New...did I say that?
Chico: YEP!
Gordon: Here's what we have from the choreography - Clay gyrates, Ruben waddles, Josh runs into the crowd to hide the fact that he can't sing, and Kim just stands there. Good thing this is not American Choreographer. Which of the following games was created by Russian Scientists in the early 80's? A. Dig Dug, B. Tetris, C. Galaxian, D. Pacman,
Chico: Tetris
Gordon: Yep
Gordon: And Michelle the contestant uses 2 Lifelines on this
Chico: The other three were created by Japanese game company Namco.
Gordon: have the games on my mame emulator
Chico: I have them all on Namco Museum
Gordon: I have the illegal Tengen $1,000 version of Tetris
Anthony: cool
Anthony: i have tetris on my gameboy advance
Gordon: I want Gal's Panic
Anthony: i want dungeons and dragons on commodore 64
Anthony: remember Bard's tale
Chico: I still remember DragonLance: Heroes of the Lance on NES. biggest piece of sh#t I never played.
Gordon: In the TV series Happy Days, the main characters attend what high school? Coolidge, Jefferson, Cleveland, Lincoln?
Anthony: Jefferson
Chico: Jefferson
Gordon: Michelle the contestant says Coolidge - shes a $1,000 LOSER
Chico: That was for $1000?
Anthony: damn give to us
Gordon: That was for $16,000. Who needs more talent lessons - the idolers or Ryan Seacrest?
Chico: Ryan. It's clear that he needs Dunkleman to cancel out his... DJ-ness.
Anthony: lol i'd have to second that, Ryan is corny
Gordon: You guys watching WOF?
Chico: yep
Gordon: Im on the edge of my seat
Anthony: Chico tell this guy to join the show already
Chico: Join the show, already!
Anthony: thanx
Gordon: Im trying
Anthony: i swear he gets everything right
(A 30 minute Dinner break later...)
Gordon: And here we go - 30 minutes before someone gets knocked off. Ryan starts be being his corny self. 'We're ending the relationship with one of our singers'.
Chico: Way to state the obvious.
Gordon: 22 Million votes
Anthony: I wonder who is getting the boot?!
Gordon: Can we end the relationship with Paula Abdul?
Chico: What'sup dawg?
Gordon: Someone's number is up - and instead of a number, since we have 30 minutes, we just get the idolers and a quick recap
Chico: Last night, we had Robin Gibb, Clay's good rendition of "To Love Somebody" and Josh's crappy rendition of "To Love Somebody"
Gordon: It was actually good last night - well, compared to what he usually does.
Chico: Bee Gees Medley.. since there are only four and we've got time to kill
Gordon: Goodie goodie
Anthony: HA HA HA HA STAYING ALIVE
Gordon: And Josh is showing us why he can't sing
Chico: I can hear Josh sucking
Gordon: I dont need that image in my head, Chico
Chico: Mind out of the gutter, Pepper.
Gordon: And here is Kim, singing the medley better than what she sang last night
Chico: She should've chosen this one. Or "How Deep is Your Love?"
Gordon: Absolutely right - much more inspired tonight - where was that?
Chico: Check that.
Gordon: Ruben sings that - he's been on these past 2 days
Chico: I have to wonder who's mic they cut off...Not Ruben's. Not Kim's.
Gordon: You realize that when Josh sings, they have the other three people singing background behind him?
Chico: My guess: Bottom two are Clay and Josh.
Gordon: He's the only one that has background singers - the other singers sing acapella
Chico: I'm going by how much we hear in the medley - I've noticed that there's a pattern.
Gordon: Do tell
Anthony: lol
Chico: The night Carmen got her walking papers, I couldn't hear any of her warbling
Gordon: Unfortunately, I can hear Josh
Chico: I could hear Clay's voice at the end, so I'm guessing Josh buys it tonight
Gordon: I could see Josh buying it - or Clay - or Kim
Chico: It's just too close at the bottom right now
Gordon: Last chance to say Final 2 - I'll stay with Kim and Clay
Chico: Josh and Clay
Gordon: American Juniors coming in May - catch the love
Anthony: Josh and...Kim
Gordon: Here we go - we start with Kimberley Locke.
Gordon: Kim is in the Bottom 2
Anthony: I knew it
Gordon: thats one for me, one for Anthony and 0 for Chico
Chico: Well, it's bottlenecked in the bottom. Next is Clay and....
Gordon: Clay is next - and that means that he's safe
Chico: yeah
Anthony: yep
Gordon: Which means we are down to Ruben and Josh. Ruben couldn't be in the bottom 2 again, could he?
Chico: Josh is down, Ruben's safe
Gordon: I have to agree with that. Does this mean that he actually have a smart audience this week?
Anthony: We'll find out after the break
Chico: Throws your whole chaos theory into whack
Anthony: maybe; maybe not
Chico: On second thought...
Gordon: Not really - people still voted up the gills for Ruben, but it could mean that everyone voted for Ruben - and no one voted for Kimberley, which means that all of her expected votes never came, because the surge that she was supposed to get never came in.
Chico: And Clay is the Scarlet Pimpernel in the Ford commercial
Gordon: That was awful
Chico: yes it was
Gordon: Are we all in agreement that Josh joins Kim in the bottom 2?
Anthony: ya
Chico: True
Gordon: I'll say that KIM gets booted tonight
Anthony: no
Chico: I have to agree with Anthony on this one
Gordon: Because I think that if she didn't get enough votes to surpass Clay, she may not have gotten enough votes to surpass Josh
Anthony: Who in the blue hell voted for Josh?
Gordon: Uh...gee...the whole South and the military?
Chico: BOO-fricking-yah!
Gordon: Josh goes into the Bottom 2
Anthony: duh
Gordon: Randy says that the 2 best are still there, Paula says that it's tough, and Simon couldn't understand Paula - and neither could anyone else in the free world
Chico: oh shut up, Paula
Gordon: Simon says that they both should have been gone - how nice
Chico: Kimberley this week, Josh last week. Process that, what goes into the minds here?
Anthony: I say JOSH is out
Chico: Agreed
Gordon: JUST to disagree I'll have to go Kim (though Josh is probably gone)
Anthony: dammit gordon why u jinxing stuff again
Gordon: Its the chaos theory man - can't fight the chaos
Anthony: Matrix RELOADED may 15th
Chico: I'll have to bring up what was said last week: the outcome of tonight's show will determine the rest of the series. That said, what happens now?
Gordon: I think it's Ruben Vs Clay regardless...I thought if there was any time that either of them would get knocked out, it would be this show. The winner of Josh/Kim gets third place
Anthony: Hmm, i dont think so...if Kim is safe she will be 2nd
Gordon: And after the break - Josh is gone
Chico: Kim's safe
Anthony: See
Gordon: The audience has finally gotten hold of it's senses. Hooray
Chico: Next week, Kim vs. Ruben vs. Clay. Tomorrow, Clay returns to Raleigh to sing the National Anthem for the Durham Bulls.
Gordon: A special thanks to Chico Alexander for hanging out with us for the past 2 hours
Chico: Had a blast, man
Gordon: Later to everyone for another week.
We have a Clay, we have a Ruben and we kave a Kim. In 25 hours, we will be saying good-bye to one of these people - but until then, let's hear some music, shall we?
After the standard intro, we start with the 'Random Choice Round' - which means that the singers will get a random song that they have already sung sometime during the competition. Yawn.
Kim Locke start with 'Band of Gold' . If you remember, she sang this with Frenchie (Gee, I wonder what she's doing now). She sounded very nice. Randy thought that she has been the most improved singer of anyone in the past 2 seasons, and Paula thought that she was out to win. Simon calls Paula Al Capone and starts, 'Last week, you were dreadful - you shouldn't be there tonight...(of course, the audience boos the heck out of him at this point, until he's allowed to talk again) tonight, that was sensational. Well done.' The audience cheers again.
Is it just me, or is the Vanilla Coke guy getting on everyone's nerves?
Ruben is next - and he sings Stevie Wonder's 'Signed, Sealed and Delivered'. Now is sounds like Ruben came here to win - he blasts Kimberley Locke out of the water and now I'm finally hearing the inspired Ruben that I heard at the beginning of the competition. Randy's happy that he switched it up a little and Paula was happy that he was having some fun some here. 'Looks like we have a competition up here. Superb.' says Simon. About time, too.
Clay singe the song 'Vincent'. He gets a slow ballad-like song, which makes him right at home. Unfortunately, here comes back the bad habits, he makes it Broad-way like, and did he screw up a line in the piece? I know he has his fans, but that effort was decidedly below the levels that Ruben and Kim gave out. Randy thought that it was Clay's weakest performance, and Paula thought that it wasn't his best performance. I can't wait to hear Simon's spiel now. 'It was a dreary rendition, you forgot the words...you're very lucky that you have 2 songs left, because that was terrible.' Agreed - and after Round 1, my rating is Ruben, Kim, Clay.
Round 2 - The Judges Choice. Each judge gets to pick a song for an Idoler. Kim gets 'Anyone who had a Heart' and she's 2 for 2 in the good song category. Randy, who gave her the song, thought she sounded great - and so did Paula, who thought that she was having fun. SImon wasn't blown away, but he said that it was a safe good song. Is it just me, or is she wearing her hair like Kelly Clarkson?
Simon selects the next song - 'Smile' - for Ruben. This would definitely be considered a 'Safe' song for Ruben = but I want to know if he can do with it what he did with the first song. He doesn't at the beginning - but then he does at the halfway mark and makes it his own. A nice ending and I'll give him bonus points for that. Randy thought that he did his thing, Paula loved to see the dimples and Simon thought that it was well done.
Randy points out Quentin Tarrantino in the audience - and we get an American Juniors promo for our troubles. Don't forget that it's May 27!!
Paula says that if Clay can nail 'Mack the Knife', then he will be known as something more than a lounge singer. Sorry, but he sounds EXACTLY like a lounge singer. You know all the praise that I was giving Clay for the past few weeks? He is doing his best to wipe that all out in 2 songs. Sure, he sounded great, but it's AMERICAN Idol, not lounge singer Idol. Randy and Paula gives him a standing ovation, while Simon thinks that it was brilliant. Why, SImon, why?
The final round is the Singer's choice. Kim comes out and sings Inseparable. Kim was 3 for 3 and was the most consistent of any of the singers - and I don't need to hear another song by Ruben or Clay. Randy and Paula were thrilled about her song. Will Simon agree? 'This is the only time that we've had 3 good people in the final 3. I don't know which ones are going to make it.' Good words - we'll see how that plays out...
Ruben sings 'If Ever You're In My Arms Again.' This is a pretty song, and he does a bang-up job of it. He gets the standing ovation and Randy thinks that Ruben's trying to win this competition. Paula thought that he had a great night. SImon? 'I honestly don't think that the final would be the same without you, and you've proven that you should be there.'
Finally, Clay does his last song - Unchained Melody. I can't wait until he's done. This is absolutely painful to listen to, and it easily drops him to third. Apparently, Randy and Paula are watching a different show than me, because they thought that it was the best song of the competition. WHA? Simon thinks that it was over the top, but instead of voting off a singer, Simon would rather vote off Ryan Seacrest. How well can Ryan sing Unchained Meoldy?
If this was just based on these three songs, then I would have to say that Kim and Ruben advance, and that Clay is on the outside looking in. Of course, it's not, and there will be a riot if it wasn't a Ruben/Clay Final. Still, you can't help but wonder how badly Clay hurt himself tonight...
we'll be having our usual gang of wackos on next week's blow-out finale, but for this week, it's just little ole' me. Let us go back a few months ago to the first audition set (February 12, 2003 to be exact), where we had our first voting for a group of 8 people going into the semifinals. If you remember, the Top 3 were Ruben, Kimberley and Clay. Ruben came in first, then Kimberley, then Clay.
Fast-Forward to last week. Your top vote-getter was Clay. Ruben was second and Kimberley was in third. If you decided to stick them all in the one position that they haven't been in, that would put Kimberley in first, Clay in second and Ruben in last. Which pattern will hold true for tonight?
Now, in the final three, there is no final two - just the announcement of who will be leaving. So why is there an hour special? THE FILLER!!!!!! So what sort of filler are we getting this evening? Justin Guarini and Tamyra Gray! Way to market the present stars by luring people back with the past stars.
After the silly judges introduction and yesterday's recap, we are off with the contestant's introduction. Since they are all holding microphones in their hands, my guess is that they are going to be singing. Sure enough, it's a musical threesome with a medley of songs. I'm going to do the Chico Alexander method of figuring out who goes - who's microphone do they turn off near the end of the performance? It sound like they turned of...KIM's mike!!!!! We'll see if Chico is right...
But before we do that - it's Alumni night! Tamyra Gray starts off with 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'. While she is singing, I am reminded of SImon, who says that the bar this year is much higher than last year. He is right. Would Tamyra Gray have made the top 3 this year? I'm not sure - and I certainly don't think that she would have beaten out Clay or Ruben. Think about it and ask yourself who you would have voted for in the final 3 if it was Clay Ruben and Tamyra...
From the male side of the alumni, we have Justin 'Screech' Guarini. He pitches the movie (it's June 13th, you know), and he describes it. Fortunately, we don't get stuck watching a piece of it. Unfortunately, we are stuck listening to Justin sing 'Unchained Melody'. Please, America, PLEASE explain to me how Tamyra did not make the Top 3 and this guy wound up in the finals and in a movie with Kelly Clarkson.
So here we go with the results...oh wait, it's not one minute left for the show to end, so we're not there yet. What to do...oh I know, let's see a blurb on a day in the life of each Idoler! We start with Kim's day at her school and church. The next video is Ruben's trip to Birmingham and 205. Finally, it's Clay going down a slide, teaching his special ed kids and singing for the Durham Bulls baseball team.
OK - Now's there's 2 minutes left, and Ryan calls Kimberley over to him. And Ryan calls Clay - and Ryan calls Ruben over too. OK - what was the point of THAT? After the traditional spiel of how close the voting was (4% separated first from third), we find out that to no one's surprise, KIMBERLEY is eliminated. We see her saying good-bye and seeing her last song, then we fade out.
So sure enough, it's Ruben Vs Clay in the finals. Does this mean that regardless of who wins, we'll get a movie called from Ruben to Clay? I hope not...but we will see who gets to play the lead - and wins the American Idol competition - next week...
So what do we do for filler? We get a whole BONUS HOUR of filler. Yuck. I will make this as painless as possible - and as quick as possible. We introduce the judges, and we see a montage of them in action. We get playful bantering from the judges, and a promotion for the Simon Cowell bobble-head doll, but nothing revealing or important.
We also get a lame promo for Mr. Personality - and a goofy Haley, who messes up her lines. Memo to FOX - if you have people making a cameo, PLEASE HAVE THEM LEARN THEIR LINES - or at least learn how to read. Almost every guest that has been a non-actor or singer on this show has been excruciating painful to watch. But it's a great way o throw a plug - READ CHICO ALEXANDER'S MR. PERSONALITY FINALE!!!!! OK - I'm done with that sort of silliness - for now...
But what wouldn't a Final 2 show be without music? Here are your American Idol finalists - singing 'What the World Needs Now'I thought this was a Final 2 special? Silly me. We see all of the contestants - which is actually a hidden plug for the American Idol tour. Go watch them so you can give them money!
But what would a Final 2 show be without the Final 2??? It's time to learn more about the finalsts!!!! (Of course this is now starting the second half of the show, so I wouldn't expect much depth here). We start first with Ruben's background. He went back to town and met everyone. We finsd out, thanks to Reuben's brother, that he hates sushi, he got into a fight over a turkey sandwich, and that his brother beat him up when Ruben started to sing. That's the in depth dirt we find out about him, and he sings 'Breaking Up is Hard to do'. If this is the depth that we are going to be getting of the contestants, I'm not expecting much here from Clay.
We see someone who claim's to be Clay's biggest fan. She was able to give Clay a hug. Then they asked her some questions - like how much the jacket cost - $1,200 - and his YMCA nickname was Gonzo - and he was 5 years old when he was the mascot. Gee, can we say PLANT???? Clay sings 'Don't let the Sun Go Down on Me.'
It's questions for the contestants! Ruben is confident about tomorrow. Clay says that he wants to leave with the knowledge that he is enjoying it. Advice from Randy for the other judges? Paula needs to stay nice and Simon needs to get a tan. Paula says that Randy doesn't have to do anything - and neither does Simon. Simon gets shit up by Paula before he can talk.
We end this one with a coin toss - Clay wins it and he decides to sing second. Ruben will sing first. After that, we get the 18,654th singing of'Proud to be an American' with the rest of the finalists - including Vanessa, who we haven't seen before since the last ice age.
So what did we get out of this episode? Almost NOTHING of substance - but we did get to see the likeable qualities of the finalists - and that's what seperates this show from the other contests. You fall in love with the competitors, instead of just seeing all of their bad parts. All of the TV execs should take note - and we will all be taking note tomorrow in deciding who we will finally fall in love with.
We are down to 2. Ruben and Clay. Clay and Ruben. There's no reason to start with the chit-chat. Let's get into it.
And we get into Ruben first (as he loses the coin toss from last night). He has a very impressive rendition of 'Still in Love' He's doing his thing according to Randy and Paula's heart is with him too. Simon thought that it was good, but not the best. The audience boos him.
Now it's Round 1 for Clay. He sings his own song 'This is your night.' He's into the pop-rock mode, which is very nice, considering his style and genre movement, so I'd give him points on creating himself. However, Ruben definately sounded the better of the two. Randy loves his workm while Paula says that he finds the Matrix of a song. Lame. Simon 'You really were ugly then, and now you were handsome...what I didn't like about it (the song) was that it was American Idol - the Musical. I expected better.' Ruben 1, Clay 0.
Second Round - Ruben sings 'Imagine' This is the first time that Ruben, going out of a genre, has impressed me. This was nice. I take back what I said about Ruben not being able to move out of a genre. This was genuinely sweet and Clay has to make up a lot of ground to avoid falling into a 0-2 hole.
Clay takes on a Beatles song of his own - Paul McCartney's 'Here There and Everywhere.' Clay gets a harp - which is a good counter to the guitar that Reuben had for Yesterday. It was a good pretty effort, but once again, Ruben did the better job. Randy accused Clay of bgin safe, but Paula thought that he was vulnerable. Simon was also not blown away. Ruben 2, Clay 0.
Final Round - Ruben's last song before we cast our vote is 'Flying Without Wings'. This is a nice song - and it's a safe song, but he put a lot of emotion into it. Very nice. Paula and Randy give him a standing ovation. Simon 'So you saved the best for last. Over to you, Clay - that was fantastic.' Can Ruben get the 3-0 sweep?
Clay's last song is Bridge over Troubled Waters. Clay gets the works with this song - it's the best one of the evening - but he also got 20 or so gospelk singers to croon with him. Where's Ruben's 20 gospel singers? Randy and Paula thought that it was his best. Simon thought that he was a little off, he thought that that performance could win him the competition. I don't but, I will give Clay te win in this round - but only barely, because he has to use the 20 gospel singers to do it.
So my take? If you consider this just on musical talent and versatility, there is no question who should win this contest - Clay got out of Broadway-ville and is the most well-rounded singer there, while Ruben stayed in R&B mode for almost the whole competition. Clay is truly the better singer.
But as we all know by now, it's not called the better singer (see Gray, Tamyra), it's called American Idol. There is only one person who fits that image - and that's Mr. 205. Ruben is the personification of American Idol - and I think that he outsang Clay tonight 2-1. Ruben Stoddard is the American Idol and he is my choice to win.
Gordon: We are here for the FINALE of American Idol 2 - this is Gordon
Anthony: sup America
Anthony: ready for your new AI
Gordon: I am - who wins?
Anthony: Well considering that I missed last nights show and heard a number of things like Clay was very good and Ruben was cool,...its up in the air for me
Anthony: but if u want an answer I'd say Clay
Gordon: I think Ruben wins in a walk
Anthony: I hope for Ruben to win though
Gordon: There will be NO fence straddling - CLAY or RUBEN???
Anthony: lol damn, ok I'd go with my first theory
Anthony: CLAY
Gordon: I say Ruben - so we disagree agai
Gordon: again
Anthony: what else is new
Gordon: So we start this show with a recap of how we got to this point - with awful singers
Anthony: Awful is an understatement
Gordon: How do you think that these people who are watching themselves on tv right now feel?
Anthony: I think half are saying Im on TV and the other half are like oh boy
Anthony: you cant escape my love
Gordon: Can I escape his voice?
Gordon: So now we have a recap of the worst singers of the world.
Anthony: Im waiting for Madonna boy - like a virgin boy
Gordon: I knew there was something weird about you
Anthony: yea ok deep inside you still laugh about that image
Gordon: My ears are crying and screaming to be released from their wax-like prison...OK - there's Like a Virgin boy -= and Keith wins for worst singer in the world
Gordon: So we have one of our special guests - he is the heartbeat of New York - it's ALDO!
Aldo: WASSSUPPPPPPP
Gordon: You've been watching American Idol. Aldo?
Aldo: I SAW IT THROUGH THE WILDERNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS - THATS RIGHT I MEADDDDDDEEEEEEE IT THROUGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Gordon: so who do you think wins?
Aldo: RUBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEn
Anthony: lol
Gordon: That's 2 for Ruben, one for icky Clay. Defend yourself, Rojas - Defend the 'champion of skinny white guys' everywhere
Anthony: Well Im certainly not white
Aldo: Anthony is white, but he's not skinny
Gordon: We see the birmnigham pep rally
Anthony: Aldo, you're the whitest person in this room
Aldo: hell no its Gordon
Anthony: told you, who can forget him
Gordon: Ruben has won the state of Alabama - big whoopdedoo
Aldo: PPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETE
Pete: hello all
Gordon: We welcome the return of the Pulse of America - PETE!
Aldo: hes the anchor of america
Gordon: How are you doing, Anchor of America?
Pete: i am fine and ruben is the size of Alabama
Anthony: lol
Pete: how is everyone tonight?
Gordon: Clay wins North Carolina - too bad it's based on votes, and not states. We're getting the word on the street - which is TV talk for - oh goodie, more filler - only 110 minutes worth of filler to go
Gordon: So Pete, who wins American Idol - Ruben or Clay? What will the pulse of America say?
Pete: I believe the newly crowned Barry White does - Ruben
Gordon: Thats 3 votes for Ruben - and 1 vote for Clay
Aldo: i feel they r both talented - and eventually both will get record deals somewhere
Gordon: So we now interview the judges - do you guys find any of ths filler entertaining?
Pete: out of the top five,who will get the bigger break?
Gordon: Out of the top 5, I'm guessing that Clay will get the biggest break - he is Mr Broadway
Pete: remember tamyra is on boston public and not the top 2 from the last
Gordon: And we get more filler from the rejects who did not make the cut - this is brutal. From both sets of twins to psychotic Edgar to Mr. 'I'm Spent'.
Anthony: OH BOY BRUTAL ?! It's more like Why?
Pete: cars are crashing outside right now
Gordon: Little cats heads are exploding in the city. Oh wait - they explode in the city anyways
Aldo: my screen popped
Anthony: Is this their way of filling two hours?
Gordon: When does All-American Girl's final starts? I may want to watch that instead of this filler
Gordon: But now with that hideous mess over with, Ryan talks to the audience
Gordon: Ryan says that thje vote was really close - do you believe him?
Aldo: yes
Pete: bs bs bs bs
Gordon: I take that as a no
Pete: aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no
Aldo: yes it is
Aldo: cause of racist white people voting just so the black wont win
Gordon: Can't a brother get a little love?
Pete: ok malcolm
Gordon: Let's see what the next filler is - ah - we finally get to see the finalists - only 30 minutes into the show
Anthony: The winner won 50.28% Vs. 49.72%
Gordon: 24 million votes - only seperated by 13,000 votes
Gordon: And we get another ridiculously stupid montage in a boxing motif - all trying to be made legitimate by Sugar Ray Leonard
Aldo: haterade
Pete: i think that america is being called stupid
Gordon: Not America - just the people behind the video packaging
Gordon: If I was to fill the show with filler - why not with...oh...THEM SINGING??????
Pete: if you think that we are this dumb to think this is entertaining...then i'm a chimp
Aldo: id rather see amputees beating eachother up with their amputated limbs
Pete: i'd pay
Gordon: Well we are getting the American Idolists singing - that's better. Would you rather see this or the amputees?
Pete: amputees
Aldo: what a swing
Gordon: Well, we get a special singing performance by Ruben, Clay and Kelly Clarkson - and her pitch is all over the place - but it's not in tune. This is terible
Aldo: id like to pitch it to Kelly
Anthony: You never have pitched to anyone how could you?
Pete: i wouldn't kick her out of bed
Gordon: That was awful...Hey look - it's a cameo from The Shield's top cop!!! That wouldn't happen to be a FOX show, would it?
Anthony: Ahh YA
Gordon: At least we're now getting singing filler. Kelly Clarkson sings 'Miss Independent.' Unfortuynately, this is a good songm, which was just ruined by Christina Aguilaer's orchestration. What do you guys think of this song?
Anthony: Im tired of it.
Aldo: I fell asleep
Gordon: We continue with Clive Davis, whos the head of RCA records. He just got done with Justin Guarini's Album - and they are starting with Clay and Ruben - which album will you be buying first?
Anthony: neither - I'll Download it - maybe
Aldo: dl it?
Gordon: Clive gives her a Platinum Award. Awwwwwwwwbarf. Comments?
Anthony: I think she knew
Gordon: Of course she knew - And now another garbage filler - this one with Simon and Paula making love to each other at the dining room table.
Gordon: this may not have an awwwww in front of it, but dafinately a barrrrrrrrrrrrrrf
Anthony: it must be a nightmare for paula
Gordon: It's a nightmare for me watching this
Anthony: WOW
Gordon: And Simon wakes up with Randy Jackson
Aldo: That was funny - I'm out
Gordon: Ew
Anthony: i guess its just u and me like randy and simon - but this is a nightmare i'll wake up from
Gordon: hey baby - gimme a kiss
Anthony: Uhh....no
GordonL I know you have to cover Bachelor 3, so let's wrap this up - what did you think of this series?
Anthony: I think it was much better than the first, and alot of commercials
Peplet: So we have a medley - and Vanessa finally gets to join the group again
Anthony: maybe she was late
Peplet: All of the finalists doing a medley of all of the judges songs - and we already have cracked voices - CUE THE CAT
Anthony: Meeeeeeeoooooooooowwwwwwwww
Anthony: Time for Bachelor 3 - go CLAY!!!!!
While we're at this lull, a special thanks to Anthony Rojas, Chico Alexander, Pete Bourke and Aldo Villalona for being the special guest voices every week. You'll be hearing more of them in American Idol Juniors and other shows this Summer.
We are back - and Clay has won New York. Wha? First of all, you can't tell who has won what state, since it's based on phone calls and the internet, dippy. The third season of AI MUST get some better material - this sucks.
What doesn't suck is more singing - which is what most of this show should have been. We get to hear a three person montage of Ruben, Kimberley and Clay. Is it just me, or are they really showcasing more of Ruben than Clay this evening? And is that secretly intentional? By the way, Ruben wins Florida. Whatever.
We get another solo performance by Ruben. This time, the song is 'Flying Without Wings'. I have come to the realization that we are getting no new material tonight - but the singers can knock this old stuff out - which is nice to hear. All except Kelly Clarkson. When he's done, we go to Ruben's hometown - and his pastors , who are praising him. Ruben looks like he's about to cry. Awwwwwwwwbarf.
But we have to have the counter-song. Here comes Clay and 'Bridge Iver Troubled Waters.' Well, it's not the song, it's the accompanyment that's impressive. Why doesn't Ruben get dozen of gospel singers around him when he sings? So Clay is done - and it's off to Raleigh to see Clay's fans. And Clay has won Ohio. Ryan will reveal the winner right after the break. Sure he will.
It's time for another polling of the audience. Clay and Reuben. We get a duet from both of them 'Ain't No Stopping Us Now.' For all you people who actually thought that you would get the results after the break, you can pick up 'The Best of Edgar and Keith' as a Vinyl Records store near you. We'll have the results right after the break - says Ryan. Not with 20 minutes left of show, you won't.
But after the commercials, it's only 10 minutes left, so it's time to get to the vote. We go to the judges for the final comments. Raady says that they are both winners, and Paula says to follow your path. Simon? 'It's image verses talent. Talent won. We're going to put their albums out the samne week - that's going to be the challenge.'
Ryan says that it's the closest vote in American Idol history by 1,330 votes, not 13,300 (which I don't buy, by the way) - the winener is - RUBEN STODDARD, Alabama and the studio goes nuts. Ruben thanks God and everyone who voted for him - and he sings 'Flying Without Wings'. And Me, Pete and Aldo will have bragging rights over Anthony. YAY. We look at Ruben's gospel singers now as well.
Clay is a gracious loser - but they will both be very rich, so there's no reason to be bitter. Clay and Ruben thanks all of their relatives - and their relatives come up on stage, Kevin gives Ruben a big hug. AwwwwwwBarf.
But a well deserved Awwwwwwbarf, as Ruben was the epitome of American Idol throughout the competition. Everyone hugs and we fade to black.
My take? Despite my moaning and ranting, the talent here was far superior than the first one, and it was a much better show. Now can they do it again for a third season? I think they can, and we'll find out in January. For all of us here, thanks for reading the summaries.
