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It's the Halloween season - let's see
how our teams could be dressed up:
Frank and Margarita - Al and Peg Bundy
Rob and Brennan - Daniel Webster and Max Devlin (Yes, they're both
fictional lawyers)
Nancy and Emily - Wynonna and Naomi Judd
Joe and Bill - Bert and Ernie (of course) or Elton John and George
Michaels
Kevin and Drew - Mr. Clean and Telly Savalas
Lenny and Karyn - Beavis and Butthead - or Tweedledum and Tweedledumber
Let's see who may be masquerading as tickets to the Early Show circuit
this week...
We start in Agra, India. The teams need to find a box located somewhere in
the Taj Mahal. Frank and Margarita get a whopping 11 hour headstart - but
with the Taj not open until 6am, the whopping 11 hour lead gets turned
into a teeny weeny 45 minute lead. Margarita feels that unlike Lenny and
Karyn, who watched their relationship go bye bye, their relationship has
gotten stronger. Frank agrees as they've grown together
(awwwwwwww...barf). 6am and Frank and Margarita get into the Taj - and
immediately start to argue.
6:48 - Joe and Bill start out - and get stalled - or should I say, their
taxi gets stalled. The lawyers leave 15 minutes later and get a taxi that
works - but they are going the wrong way. D'oh! Frank and Margarita
find the box and go to the Palace on the winds of Jaipur - 150 miles away.
They can take a expensive but fast taxi, or a slow and cheap bus. The
teams get no additional money, so teams are thinking about taking the slow
bus.
Joe and Bill unsuccessfully try to sneak in - they get delayed while they
get the tickets - but Rob and Brennan's taxi driver has no clue where he's
going and winds up going back the other way to the taxi stand to get
another driver who supposedly knows where he's going (yeah, right).
OPINION: I work in NYC, where there is a horrific stereotype against
foreign immigrant drivers (especially Indians and Middle Easterners)
because they get typecast as not having any clue where they are going.
This show is really not helping to break that stereotype, since how are
you supposed to trust a driver to take you anywhere in a different country
when they don't even know where IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY they are going?
7:44 -the Frat Pack get going out of the gates. Meanwhile, the husband and
husband team realizes that they are running out of money. The lawyers find
the box - and miss the bus, forcing them and Joe and Bill to travel
together. Margarita and Frank are in a bus ahead of them, still in the
lead.
8:15 - Nancy and Emily are the last team out - wanting to shock everyone
even more. The Frat Pack decide to go inside - too bad the box and the
flag are outside. That allows the familia femalia to catch up - but the
Greeks find the box first - and don't tell Nancy and Emily where it is.
Well, that went that alliance down the toilet. The mom and daughter team
find a taxi and speed past the greeks, who lost their route marker. Doh!
Bill and Joe, who took the bus, are out of money, Team Greek are out of
road marker - but they find it and get going. Nancy and Emily are out of
gas, as they waste time and the Greeks go past them. Joe and Bill talk
about how they have always been in the top tier - only they and
Nancy and Emily have Fast Forwards left to use.
The lawyers take the taxi and move ahead of everyone to a detour - they
have to find a wise man by either boat (faster) or elephant (slower). The
lawyers decide to go with the safer (and slower) elephant. Team FM gets
there second, followed by Bert and Ernie, who take the boat. The Greeks
also go boat, and Nancy and Emily say screw it, we're in last, let's play
with the elephants.
The Lawyers get to the area first, but its Frank and Margarita who find
the wise man first. The Karni Mata Temple of Deshnoke in Bikaner is the
next destination. You better make the first bus - because its a six hour
wait until the next one, which would pretty much guarantee Iloveyoubuhbye.
Team Guido get there next - and meet the Greeks coming as they are going.
The Guidos, who don't want to smell like elephant, are in fourth, and
Nancy and Emily are bringing up the elephant rear. The greeks pass Team
Guido, who are starting to get really nervous. Nancy and Emily, who aren't
very nervous since they know they're in dead last, are enjoying themselves
with the wise man - tea and crumpets, anyone?
Frank and Margarita get to the bus depot in first place. The lawyers are
looking for another team just to validate they they got on the right
train. Team Guido is fending off the money-hungry kids to also get on the
bus. Joe and Bill get off of the now stalled out bus to get a rickshaw,
and Nancy and Emily are on the way to find the train. Team Greek barely
get on the train in time, but both Joe and Bill and Nancy and Emily miss
the train - and now have to wait 6 hours for the next one. So much for
staying in the top half for the duration of the trip, huh, Joe and Bill?
This seems like a neck and neck race for explusion between team pink
dresses and team pink triangle.
They get to the temple - the lovely temple of rats - which immediately
freaks out the Greeks, who discuss the religious sacredity of rats.
Margarita decides she wants to play with the rats - what a gal.
Meanwhile, Nancy and Emily, who are still stuck at the station, take 90
minutes to buy tickets because the men would not sell tickets to women.
They meet Joe and Bill, who are happy to see a familiar face, as in the
words of Emily - 'I'm sure they are happier to see them than they are to
see us', but the men are sort of happy - since they know that they still
have a chance to not get eliminated.
The Greeks are playing cards and are befriending the Indians. The Guidos
and Femme Fatales are taking the second bus, where the guys are in first
class and the women are in skanky class. Meanwhile, at Bikaner Junction,
Frank and Margarita take a cab, while the Lawyers and Greeks are right on
their tail.
Welcome to Deshnoke - land of many rats. There is a roadblock - go find a
bowl with the flag - and don't step on the hundreds of rats that are
hanging out in the temple with them. All of the gung ho-ness that
Margarita had is now gone once she has seen the first 10 rats. The other
teams aren't so thrilled either...
Team Guido and Nancy and Emily make it to the pass as Margarita is the
first person to find the flag. She is terrified of rats but gets help from
the natives. Her stalling allows the other 2 teams to catch up and they
all go
together to a pit stop in a hotel in Bikenar. They all wake up their
sleeping drivers to get to the hotel. All 3 teams are exhausted - the
Greeks get the facial body paint and wind up in first. Frank and Margarita
come in second, and the lawyers in third.
The main chase is for last - Team Guido (according to the rest of the
teams, the 2 legged rats) against Nancy and Emily. The Guidos are in front
with Nancy and Emily behind - and right behind as Emily gets there 30
seconds after the Guidos - now its a race between the 2 drivers. Which
driver makes the dumbass move of the episode?
It's Nancy and Emily's driver - who goes past the Hotel and Joe and Bill
sneak by them to come in fourth. Nancy and Emily come in last - but this
leg is also a non-elimination leg, so they are all alive for another day.
But Emily realizes that she may need to be a little underhanded in order
to stick around. Will the women move to the dark side?
To be continued...
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