EPISODE 1
Recap by Gordon Pepper
Original Airdate:  September 5, 2001
Re-air:  September 9, 2001

I don't really need to go over all of the teams (since the site has already done that) - but here's a quick rules recap - 11 teams start and they have 3-4 different instructions to go from one place to another. Hidden somewhere is a Fast Forward - a short cut where you can find out the exact final destination of where youre going and you can go directly there. Otherwise, you're OK unless you finish in last - because if you do, you get to go Iloveyoubuhbye.

The first stop is Johannesburg, South Africa. There are only three flights that the teams can take - first come first serve on the tickets. After getting JFK via the Taxi or the subways, your leaders are the husband and husband team (Team Guido), followed by the Lawyers (Team Anti-Paxton) and Frank and Margarita (Team Dysfunction).

After the first flight, the teams need to go to a second flight, and once again the same teams come in the top three spots. Frank throws a conniption because it is the second straight time that they did not come in first.

After the flight, the team needs to go to Knife Edge - they do this by taking a car and either driving by themselves or taking a driver who may or may not know where he's going. What is the point of getting a driver if you have to give him instructions? Most of the teams share my opinion and drive by themselves - but some with disastrous results. Married couple Matt and Ana get horrendously lost, but nowhere near as lost as the geeks...I mean Greeks - and after the second segment, it looks like the series may become 100% frat free.

Frank and Margarita, eavesdropping in on what team Guido talks about while waiting on the destination line, break out of the line when they get the info they need out of the husband and husband team and move into first place, with the same teams in the front of the pack. Ana and Matt get even more lost (and deservedly so - If you pronounce Gorge as 'George', you deserve to get lost - when asked where the George was, I was waiting for one of the natives to ask if they were related to Liberace). Right behind them in the race for ineptitude was the Greeks, the teachers, and Paul and Amie (with Paul making bad after bad decision).

The Fast Forward is hidden in the Batoka Gorge area - and the pass is found by The Lawyers (If you wonder where I'm getting Tom Paxton from - listen to his song 'One Million Lawyers' - it's a classic - unless your a lawyer - then please don't hurt me). The Lawyers find that the final destination for this segment is Sonque Village and head right over. The grandparents (Team Geritol) are there only a few minutes behind, but there is only one fast forward, so they have to go back with everyone else.

The final challenge is a walk to the village - but if you want to make it there very quickly, you can bungee jump yourself across a chasm that is a couple of thousand feet wide. Since the lawyers don't have to do it (since they got the fast forward, they knew exactly where to go without needing the final instructions located after you bungee jump), Team Guido gets there first. After a lot of hemming and hawing, everyone makes it across, but the most entertaining spot was when Amie had to whip Paul into getting over his fear of heights to cross the chasm. This team will now be known as Team Henpecked.

Finally, the teams have made it to the village. The lawyers easily get there first and the pair of husbands get there in second. Frank and Margarita (Team Dysfunction) come in third (you think Frank needs a valium now that they didn't even come in second?) and Lenny and Karyn come in fourth.  Pat and Brenda wind up in fifth and Kim and Leslie place in sixth. Team Geritol makes up for missing time while hunting for the Fast Forward and come in a respectable 7th. The Henpecked team come in 8th. Matt and Ana were in ninth but overshoot the village, which becomes their fatal error as both the frat pack (9th) and the mom and daughter team (10th) slide ahead of them. Matt/Ana get there well after sundown and get the news that they have now joined Sonja, Mega, Deb and Justin (or Sheryl, depending on your perspective) in the list of people eliminated first on a CBS reality series. Matt's response: "Bummer."...as the realization seeps in that they have gone Iloveyoubuhbye.