THE RECAPS
STORMSEEKER.COM RECAPS! Reality writers Chico Alexander and Gordon Pepper and a slew of guests provide recaps of each show.
January 19, 2004 January 20, 2004 January 21, 2004 January 27, 2004 January 27, 2004 February 2, 2004 February 3, 2004 February 4, 2004 February 10, 2004 February 11, 2004 February 17, 2004 February 18, 2004 February 24, 2004 February 25, 2004 Marcvh 1, 2004 March 2, 2004 March 3, 2004 March 9, 2004 March 10, 2004 March 16, 2004 March 17, 2004 March 24, 2004 March 25, 2004 March 30, 2004 March 30, 2004 April 7, 2004 April 8, 2004 April 14, 2004 April 15, 2004
(Chico Alexander)
The spoken rap lyric in the Ruben Studdard song, "Play Our Song", sums it up quite nicely:
"Idol, the highest title."
And through the next three days, we'll meet thousands of people searching for that high title occupied by Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, and (to a lesser extent) Clay Aiken. Back to bring'em up is host and walking advertisement for Clairol, Ryan Seacrest.
And back to tear them to bits are cheerleader Paula Abdul (who's looking for confidence and uniqueness), truthteller and sometimes ass Simon Cowell (who believes that the first two winners - and the judges - have raised the bar this year), and dawg Randy Jackson (who's looking for someone who has their own style and doesn't sound like anyone else).
Next five months, eighty thousand will be whittled to one. That said, for the first time in seven months: "It's time for AMERICAN IDOL!"
(C-Note: as a freelance digital artist, I like the updated opening sequence.)
First stop's New York. And first audition has no shirt. From there we go to Atlanta, where we found both of last year's stars. Then Houston, LA, My three-hours-from-hometown San Francisco, and Hawaii. Why would anyone want to go all this way for a once-in-a-lifetime shot at super stardom? Well considering that Ruben, Clay, and Kelly all entered the charts at number one and together they sold over 9,000,000 CDs (I myself have two of them), it seems kinda obvious.
But back to the NYC. We're at Grand Central Station for the first phase of the preliminaries. First up, a real fantasy for Randy and Simon... a woman in uniform. Representing the 82nd Airborne is the worst shooter/cook in the Army (Simon: "Confession: hopes aren't high at the moment"). But when it comes to "Dancin' in the Streets"... Martha Krabill can shoot a tune with the cuteness of the best of them... Unfortunately, she shoots it to wound, hitting several flat notes. All three judges honorably discharge her, saying that she belongs on television, just not this show. And now, she's groveling. Yes, just go with your dignity now.
And the Army sends in another one: SSG Paul An, US Army, and his five-year monologue. At ease, soldier. He busts a rhyme... but someone forgot to tell him that it was a singing competition. In English. Another honorable discharge.
We put the spotlight on three European defects in the next segment. First up is Roland Maxharj, from Kosovo by way to Hartford, CT. He sings "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me." And right now I wish the sun would go down on him already. Very very weak performance. But hey, at least everyone's laughing.
Simon: "I even think you would do badly in Kosovo Idol. That was absolutely horrific. Thank God you don't have to sing to get immigration status."
Well, it was either singing or acting. Try acting, Roland.
Next is Bulgarian by way of Maspeth, NY, Karmen Varjabedian, who, in a contest of 90 in Cyprus, placed seventh. He... Sorry, she (voice is really deep here) sings "Strong Enough." Strong enough to try out for bass in the Achordants (my old a cappella outfit), but not for AI3.
Randy: "Has anyone ever said to you that you sound like a man?"
Third is Leah Vladowski, a Bulgarian by way of Seattle, who is the best of the three Europeans in this tryout with her rendition of "I Believe in You and Me". The judges believe in her, as she gets the first ticket to Hollywood. Particularly taken aback is Randy, who doesn't believe that "that gospel voice is coming from Bulgaria"
Meanwhile, separated brothers Jesus and Noel Roman reunite after six years for their audition of "In the Still of the Night" and "If I Ever Fall In Love". Jesus is dead on good. Noel is dead on even better. And both are on their way to Hollywood, their first adventure together in a long time. Awwwwwnext.
If you didn't get enough of the twin thing last year, we have MORE TWINS! Okay, so we only see one pair of twins. But why this pair? Why not, I don't know, people that are good? The Rosado twins yell out "Ain't No Mountain High Enough". High enough is right. Harmony is WAY off. Everyone's just doing their own thing. Must resist urge to kill. It was just wrong on so many levels.
Randy: "You need a lobotomy to work on those vocals."
Paula: "That was so wrong."
Simon: "It was painful."
Simon admits that he gets more and more frustrated as the shows progress. Next up is Rasheedah McDaniel, who sings "You're the One That I Want". Very flat, intonation and emotion-wise. Simon agrees with me, and he's willing to put money where his tongue is. Seriously. She's made a bet with Simon that he'll pay her off if she doesn't clear half a crowd at a bar. Ryan and Rasheedah head to the nearest bar and, to MY surprise, does WORSE than her audition, clearing house in record time. No money. No Hollywood. No nothing. And no audience, either.
Okay, Gordon. Let's get outta here. Oh wait. We still have half an hour left.
On the other side of the break, too much preparation + not enough voice = Jordan Ellis performing "Build Me Up Buttercup" after a lengthy (but ineffective) warmup.
"Unchained Melody" is the song of choice for Michael Keown, who has sung for the Pope and President Clinton before. And rightly so, this guy is one of the best they've heard. Very nice depth, good range. I like the velvet tone.
Paula: What can you say, it's a very smooth voice.
Simon: One of the best versions I've heard.
Michael gets his golden ticket. Meanwhile we get "Scat Girl" Jacqueline Roman. She scats through "Route 66" before finally remembering the lyrics to it. Maybe she should've prepared for the words first and THEN the scats. She sounds better scatting than she does singing, and trust me... it isn't saying much. Very very VERY flat. Oh God, she just screamed.
Simon: "What was that?"
And what's this? The next Clay Aiken? Well, he's a camp counselor who likes kids. Not to mention that he has "skinny geek white boy" written all over him (no offense to the skinny geeky white boys in the house). But the one thing that Clay has that Colin Leahy doesn't is ... a voice, as he proves in a lackluster performance of "One Step Closer" by the American Juniors.
Paula: That whole song was just one note.
And would you believe that even THAT note was off? If it's one thing that Simon hates is gimmicks. So it stands to reason that John Stevens IV's Dean Martin impersonation doesn't go over, but when he starts actually singing "The Way You Look Tonight", he gets some raves... and a golden ticket.
Now it's time for the requisite dance montage! Next up, Scooter Girl, Baton Girl, Kid Rageous, Tyrus "Star Boy" Bush, and the worst pun in AI history. Stop me if you've heard this one.
"You'll have to excuse me, I'm a little hoarse" (holds up little horse)
But back to Scooter Girl aka Nicole Tieri, who was in the hospital for anorexia. She overcame that to become one of those "overachieving children." But does she really flip for American Idol? Scooter Girl sings a song she wrote called, appropriately enough, "Scooter Girl". Good voice. Nice range. She tries again with "Power of Love", without the scooter. And Scooter Girl just make it, scooter or no scooter, as she proves herself a powerful force.
Randy: You really belong on Broadway.
Paula: Pretty spectacular. I say yes.
It all comes down to Simon, who likes her sense of humor in a humorless world. "You should never lose what is you which is your originality." This girl could win. She trades in her scooter in for a golden ticket to Hollywood. But at least Ryan can get around the Big Apple... for a while, at least. Can we give this thing away? Yes, we can. Even with the basket and everything. She joins 29 people on the bus to Tinseltown. And I join everyone on the bus to the other auditions, namely Atlanta. Which reminds me. We have to pick up Gordon at Grand Central. I'll be back on Wednesday. So, if you'll excuse me, I've got an engagement to catch.
(Gordon Pepper)
After watching the first episode that Chico had to recap, I only have one thing to say - better him than me. Still, we got 26 people from the NYC area, including scooter girl. Now how many more people will be scooting on by to Hollywood?
We will find out as we hit the next city on the tour - Atlanta. If you remember last season, I said that you want to get as much air time as possible to leave the people watching with personality, which will give you an edge in the first voting. Scooter Girl listened - and we'll see how many of the 10,000 people listened. Certainly Tamyra Gray and Clay Aiken did, as they have previously come from Atlanta. Also from Atlanta? Keith - 'Like a Virgin' Keith. Oh boy.
So do we start out with Clays or Keiths? We start with Amy Adams, who said that mom made her an American Idol. She sings 'Rescue Me', and we are starting from the Tamyra Grey end - she's perky and in tune - at least better than Keith. Simon says that they may as well take someone with red hair - in this case a red and black hair fashion that Simon wonders if she and Ryan Seacrest have been sharing fashion tips. Nevertheless, she goes on, and she's a perky happy woman.
But you have to remember that Keith did come from here, and from the dark side is Simon. He says it means 'The One Who Listens'. He wants to share a song that he wrote from the heart about the connectiveness to the heart - and that already scares me. There's a good reason as he and Keith may have shared bunk beds in college. Coming from SImon (Cowell) 'For someone who understands passion, I find it odd that you can sing to us, because that was painful.' The singing Simon says that he has a wonderful heart, but Cowell says that he can't sing so off he goes.
Kristin Powers, who lost 80 pounds, does her version of 'Flashdance', which should have been called 'Flashvocals' because that was around how quickly she was in tune. Simon goes after her, and she says that she will sound better with synthesizers. The judges disagree, and she goes out and is consoled by her friend, who thinks that she should have been a good singer. The friend then puts her hand to the camera, while Kristen says that not including her was the 'biggest mistake ever.' Listen - all of you people who have 'friends' who you say that can sing but who really can't - friends don't let friends be humiliated by Simon in front of millions of people on American Idol.
We have people that have gotten passes - so they think that the curse of Keith is over. They say that Tiffany is this year's Keith - but she wasn't as brutal as Scott - I mean she shouldn't be allowed to continue, but she wasn't brutal. She sings 'All By Myself', and Simon says, 'After that song, it will be.' Even Paula says that she's not cut out for this show and she walks out.
Payton Cross says that he sings to make people happy - and when you have that intro, that usually spells a bad singer. We get that as he sings 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' and Simon probably wants to hide somewhere under the table. Now this was MUCH worse than Tiffany - and this starts a montage of bad singers.
We get a second montage of the biggest song that was mutilated - 'A Whole New World' - but we see that we can mangle other songs, as Robert Browning destroys 'Do You Love Me' and Yuliya Johnson does the same to 'Hot Stuff'. Laketa Booker is next - and she is flat all over the place. She is sill in tune, and I guess you do need to actually have people in Hollywood for the competition, so SImon says Yes. Paula agrees with me in terms of pitch-consistency, but Randy gives her the thumbs up, and off she goes.
Then there's Alan Ritchson. He makes Paula smile, to the point that Randy and SImon both leave and have Alan sing the audition, alone to Paula. Alan takes advantage of it, gets on one knee, and singe 'You are the Sunshine of My Life.' He isn't that good either, but I'm guessing he gets in thanks to his showmanship. Him and Paula hug, and Randy and Simon try to break them up. He carries Paula back to the stage - but they finally break him up, which prompts Paula to say, 'You Suck.' Randy says to watch it with his runs, but he says yes - and Paula agrees. Simon makes it a threesome, and Alan may get to the final 32 - and the top 12, thanks to his sense of humor, which may override his musical talent if he can't improve upon it.
Then there are the people who can't have anything override their lack of singing ability - like Danny Parker, who is just awful. Simon thinks so, as he tries so hard not to laugh, 'I am trying to think of anything, puppies drowning, Paula naked, Randy naked.' Well, Simon tries, but he can't do it, and him and Randy get the laughing bug. Paula is ashamed, so what does she do? She asks him to sing another song, which he does, which gets the giggling group giggling a little bit more. Danny looks like he wants to follow the puppies into the pool to be drowned as the judges - but he turns around into the camera and wants a public apology from the judges. I don't think you're going to get it, Danny.
Reverend Gene Enswiler wants a golden pass for her daughter, Lauren, He sings, and it's a good thing that he's not being judged on his vocals. He tells America that Lauren will be the next American Idol. She sings 'Summertime' and I get the same reaction from her as I did with Laketa - nothing spectacular, but she can carry a tune, so she'll get in. She gets the thumbs up - and tells Randy to not lose any more weight. A thrilled daddy meets
Can Terrence Gaines make it 2 in a row? He sings 'Sweet Painted Lady' and its the best guy that I've seen so far - which isn't much because his only serious competition has been Ken the Paula crooner. Simon says that he has the happiest smile - which fades when Randy says no. Paula says yes. Simon - 'I'm sorry...you have to put up with us again - you're through to the next round.' He thanks Jesus, looks for someone to hug, finds a production assistant to shake hands with, runs around, lets out a Ric Flair-like 'Whoo!' and then goes skipping out of the audition room. He says afterward that he came back from Iraq - but he finds this much more nerve-wracking. Can we say Josh Gracin?
Can Pablo Amorim make it three straight? No, as me mutilates a Jon Secada song beyond repair. Fantasia Barrino comes after Pablo, and she has a nice raw voice - but she's got power behind it. She is one of the better females so far (again not saying much), as she gets carried by someone who looks a lot like Reuben.
We saw a Reuben sighting, and now we've seen an Elvis sighting. Marcus Butts looks to not be the butt of anyone's jokes. Let me revise my thoughts - THIS is the best male voice so far, and this voice actually has a shot to do some damage as he sings 'Heartbreak Hotel'. Randy tells him to leave the outfit at home when he goes to LA, as he makes the cut. Heather Piccinini is trying to get the Kimberly Caldwell mojo going, and she does - great on the low vocals, awful in the high register. Randy and Paula say that the voice is good, but change the image. Simon says no, but he is overruled and Heather advances, and hopefully, it will be Heather, and not Kim, who will be in the next round.
Andrew Chester recalls the spirit of...Roseanne. Not good, as his trick of folding his stomach look better than his singing. 'I think you can call American Idol 3 - The Deluded.', says Simon. After his singing, he changes his views from someone who's on the top tier to someone who can make the show better. Simon? 'If you were to win this competition, they would close down the FOX Network...We'd be sued. That was appalling with a capital A.' Andrew knows that he blew it - but he'll be back next year. It would be nice to have someone who blew chunks for one year come back and get in the next year.
Ryan finishes this off with the fat that he doesn't think that they have found the winner in Atlanta. My take? So far, there has been no one that jumps out at me. Marcus and Fantasia are my favorites, but I think that either of them get shelled by anyone in the Top Ten from last season. Are wee seeing a talent let down? American Idol producers better hope not.
Only 24 people come from Atlanta and we are hoping that Chico gets better singers in Houston - but the promos seem like that's not going to happen. Good luck, Chico.
(Chico Alexander)
After stops at New York, where we picked up Scooter Girl, and Atlanta, where the curse of Keith was acted upon full force, we head to Texas, home of oversized toast, our current President, and a singer by the name of Kelly Clarkson that you kids might be familiar with.
But all is not popstars and toast today, for as soon as we roll into town, so does a Texas-sized thunderstorm. Can't be a good sign.
Another bad sign, #12025. That belongs to Markeis McCray, who is doing (get this) absolutely nothing. He says he has a 1-in-4 shot and that he wants to take his Idol prize somewhere else to see what he can do with it. Randy, Paula, and Simon kindly invite him to take his ass somewhere else without one note.
Lucas Dixon has more notes on him in the guise of "How Sweet It Is". Sweet as it is, he's amazingly flat and twangy. Too flat and twangy. And yes, the scare on Simon's face is justified.
Simon: "Tell him the problem, Randy, from a record company perspective."
Randy: "The problem from just the musical perspective is you can't sing!"
If you've seen promos, no doubt your familiar with Fookling Lee, who skipped high school, went to Harvard graduate school, had a singing pedigree, and was trained in three instruments as a child. Wait, you haven't? Well, you remember that glittery chick in the blue shirt that Simon said "was like listening to another language?" Yeah, that's her! And understandably so. You know it's bad when you have to listen to the end of the song to figure out what song she was singing (in this case it was "I Can't Stand the Rain"). Well, at least she has that Harvard education to fall back on.
Moral of the story: Stay your ass in school.
Simon: "Allegedly the song was 'I Can't Stand the Rain', and on cue, it poured with rain. I turned to Randy and said 'No one was going to be as bad as this girl.' Wrong."
Cue the bad from Keneshia Harold, Candace Sibley, Latrice Godley, and Carlos Pacheco.
Outside, it's still raining. Harder than before, I might say. Could it have something to do with Sarah Santiago's performance of "That's the Way It Is?" It might. She can't hit it on proper pitch, half step down, OR full step down. The depth really does not shine here. She insists it's nerves. I say, it's a frickin' maelstrom, and the judges tend to agree with me.
Randy: "It's making me scared. It's thundering and lightning outside."
Wow. The worse she gets, the worse the weather gets. Freaky.
Bad rain reference #3: Stephen Rainwater, who sings "She's a Lady". He's half a step off and the dancing isn't helping either.
Simon: "..."
Randy: "..."
Chico: "Can't you say anything besides dot dot dot?"
Randy: "What's going on, Houston? Houston, are you there?"
Simon: "No, Houston, we have a problem."
And the problem doesn't go away on its own, as Mallory Mayeux relies too much on her butt and less on her actual intonation on "I'm So Excited." I'm so scared.
Simon: "That was 1.5 out of ten. If I were to say it was mediocre, it would be the biggest compliment you've ever been paid."
Paula: "Mallory, that was... terrible."
Mallory begs to differ, and Simon takes her up, challenging her to go to the nearest mall and round up 10 people who think otherwise. She can't even scrounge up one. And oh my god, she's scaring the little children! "Guys at parties like it," Mallory defends. Guys at parties are also drunk.
Meanwhile, it's still raining down water and poor talent. Houston, we have a SERIOUS problem. But every cloud has a Silva lining. Enter Sarah Silva. She actually hits a lot of the notes in "At Last." When she doesn't elide. Don't get me wrong, I have absolute respect for the power of the trill (as I have used it once or twice before in performing), but there's a time and a place, and Sarah was clearly overdoing it.
Simon: "It was just over the top."
Paula: "I think you're very talented."
Randy: "I'm cool. I'm good. I liked it."
Two out of three ain't bad. But she needs to check the frills at the door if she's going to Hollywood. Can Kiira Bivens follow suit? She sings Christina Aguilera's "I Turn To You"... with Christina's voice. Ah, again with the trills. She has one of the better voices in Houston, but she's simply singing the song. She's not telling the story. And by that, it just proves Jim Rome right when he says that this is little more than just glorified karaoke.
Randy: "I liked the voice, but I hate the yodel."
Simon: "She yodeled!"
Paula: "You know what bugs me about you. You're just ... affected. (C-Note: Hard to define, but easy to explain. See "Performing As")"
Simon: "That's exactly the word I was looking for!"
An act-versus-talent turf war brews between Randy and Paula, while Simon steps out for a cigarette. Paula steps out for a refresher, while Randy is left to put her through to Hollywood. Oh dear. I'd just say that she better find her own niche beforehand.
The next day, and Paula is MIA with the flu. Awwwww... Time for some harsh truth at last. None of this sugary-sweet bull. The bastard twins Randy and Simon let Lesley Thomas have it between the eyes. "It's a horrible singing city! I gotta call Beyonce and see what the problem is." You see, Beyonce's from Houston, and we're in Houston, and... yeah.
"For once, I envied Paula Abdul. Why? Because she wasn't there," Simon quips. "Once again, contestants proved that they can't take criticism. Case in point: Lonnie Hightower." Actually, he's not really that bad, but he showboats. No room for that here. But perfect for Broadway.
Next up: "It's Ryan Seacrest." "It's George!" That's George Huff, and I've got four words for him: "What Not to Wear." He belts out "You Are So Beautiful," which sounds like my dad's old R&B records. Mainly Donny Hathaway, I think. But this guy can hit.
Randy: "He might be one of these people who can grow in this competition."
But Simon and Randy are willing to hear more of him, as he gets a golden ticket. "Be young." A few more golden tickets later, we get Christopher Huang, who thinks that America needs a Hong Kong superstar. His "I Can't Help Falling in Love" is on key, but the complete and utter lack of tone more than cancels that out. On the other hand, the incredibly hot Cassie LeBeau only needs one astonishingly powerful bar of "Stormy Weather" (bad rain reference #4) to make it to the next round.
Could we be in the middle of a turnaround? Roman Gutierrez hopes so. "I Can Love You Like That" is his song, and all-over-the-place is his tone and pitch.
Simon: "You can't sing."
Roman: "How do you know that?"
Simon: "Because these (points to ears) work."
Another nerve rack? Hardly. Roman insists on singing again. Which he does. Only problem? Simon and Randy had already left the room.
And so we've come to this... the final showdown in Houston. The last guy? Jonathan Rey. He butchers Shakira's "You're the One I Need", and it's safe to say that the thirteen people who did get callbacks are all that Houston had to offer. Randy is prepping for his trip to LA, while Simon says Jonathan's terrible. Simon prepares to leave the room, while Jonathan prepares a little rainstorm of his own; thanks to Simon's drinking glass (bad rain reference #5), which, contrary to the corporate labeling, had water. Jonathan quickly sings for local authorities. Simon decided not to press charges. Final tally: 13 people going to Hollywood, five bad rain references, one ass-shakingly bad Pointer sister, and one soaked judge.
"What an ending. Goodbye Houston."
And hello LA, next time.
(Gordon Pepper)
The bright lights, the big hustle, the bad singing... welcome to Hollywood, and welcome to the next step in the American Idol process. It's never been a good place to get music talent - but there is a great place to get egos - and 10,000 people, who camped out on the street - and...used curlers? The women pulled out all of the stops - including using the boys latrine to get prepped up. Uhhh...ok.
Ryan, who looks and sounds like he was camping out for the weekend, takes on Hollywood to the hilt - and Simon took his sweet time to get there. Paula is still out with the flu, and Simon and Randy are alone to taking the auditioners by storm.
At the beginning of the show, singers like Randy Lim and Daniel Lee are making them with that they were in bed sick with Paula - well, Simon thinks that he shouldn't be in the same bed with Paula.
Will they feel better with Nicole Crook singing 'Fever'? (which is appropriate, based on Paula's condition). It doesn't make me feel better, as she is horrendously off-pitch, and Simon agrees that it's awful. She doesn't believe it, but the judges keep on her and she is in tears when she comes out to talk to her mom.
Apparently, this is setting the tone, as no Paula means that the judges are on a rampage. We see a montage of very teary contestants. Randy says 'Is this competition turning into a joke?' and I have to agree with him. In all of the episodes that I have seen so far, I still haven't seen anyone jump at me and say that they have Idol quality.
Bao Viet Nguyen is next - and he wants to be the first generation of his family to make it to Hollywood. He sings 'Lately', and he is also off-pitch - but based on everyone that I've heard so far, he at least can keep somewhat on pitch, so he'll get through. He does, and he brings the family with him to celebrate.
Simon thinks that it's a turning point for him - well, maybe turning down into the sewers. So far, only 6 people have advanced for the day - and then we get Matt Rogers, who says that he's American, he's got a receding hairline and he's good for the chubby feeling - and he's the last guy. He certainly is full of himself as the ex-washington football player - and he can carry a tune as his friend from outside the door gives him the thumbs up. The judges agree, and off to Hollywood he goes. He sings Italian Opera as he goes outside, and if he can tune down the ego, he will be a serious threat to win the whole thing.
Is it just me, or is the reason why they are putting on more really bad singers this time around is because the talent level isn't as good as last time and they really need to contrast it with the worst this time to make the people that do get in sound more passable? Just a thought...
Day #2 is not much better than Day #1 as Tomomi sings that 'You can reach me by hairy plane.' Huh? Jasmine Arteage, with blonde curly locks who is very vertically challenged, defies her mother to sing. Once again, she isn't consistent, but she is passionate and she can hit some notes - and this time around, that's enough of a qualification. The judges let her go to Hollywood, and her mom, when she sees her come out, cries and gives her a hug. AwwwwBarf
There will be no hugs from Daeh Hancock, who wants to buy a retro Thunderbird if she wins. Simon jokes 'with a pink chihuahua', but there's no joking around with her voice, which is nice and sweet, but firm. 'Almost Like Being in Love' gets her in, and she shimmies over to Ryan and - yes - he does get a hug.
Rodrigo Cortez is the next person up - and he sings 'Isn't he Lovely'. He does shift pitches, but it should be good enough to make it to the next round...that is, if he kept his mouth shout. Randy asks if it's good enough, and Rodrigo says that it is. Simon says that it's ok, and Rodrigo is asked what he would do with the money if he won a million dollars. Rodrigo says that he would give his money to charity - and that is not the answer that Simon wanted to hear. That kills it and he is told that he can't go on. A tearful Rodrigo says that the question will be haunting him for the rest of his life.
Maybe Simon and Randy should have kept him - as of 4pm, no guys were accepted from them. A frustrated Paula Abdul has a sneaky feeling why - that she wasn't there. Simon says that the girls got through because they were talented, while the guys didn't get through because they were awful. We get the bad male singer montage.
Gtoe Washington says that he will be the first male to get in - but it sounds like he's been singing with his toes and despite his protests, he doesn't get in. Jeffrey Dingle takes the honor of being the first male to go in, and although he doesn't knock me out, he's still solid. He comes out - just as Gtoe is complaining to the camera. That has to hurt. Gtoe says that they aren't looking for an urban guy - they are looking for a pop guy. Well, that is the theme of the show...a total of 25 people do get out of Hollywood - and yes, they had a bunch of guys get out from there.
The guys get even better news in San Francisco - Paula has returned! But not even Paula can Michael Garcia, who has gusto - but not much singing ability as he mangles 'All That Jazz'. Simon tells him that he can't sing - which according to him, means that Simon wants him to sing again. He does - and he gets booted.
We get a montage of people who were rejected the first time - but who come back for a second shot. Victoria is back for a second shot - and she didn't sound too bad - but she sounded Cabaret - which is not pop. Jack, her advisor, is pissed - but maybe if Jack did his homework and had her sing pop music, then she would have gotten in, because she does sound good. Unfortunately, she sings pop later to the producers for a second chance, and the producers call security to escort her out of the building. The most frustrating thing here is that she could have gotten in - she had the voice and the tone - but she needed a pop song, not a lounge tune. Maybe next year...
Then there were other people who needed more than talent and a voice - but they have more than enough in the ego department, as we get a montage of people with more bologna than Oscar Meyer. Kenneth Fitzgerald, Aaron Flora and Joshua Gronner - but they all wipe out. Simon 'That's not good enough' Joshua 'What is?' Simon - 'You leaving'. Well, thats to the point.
Katie Webber shows up - and I don't see anything that stands her out from the other people singing - but the judges apparently saw something that I didn't and they let her advance. Simon actually agrees and says she's not great - but she's good enough to get in.
Ryan says that the next 'Keith' is Hung...well, get your mind out of the gutter - it's William Hung, who seems like someone who you could see drunk at 2 am in an Asian Karaoke Bar drinking down way too much Sapporo. They call him the next Keith, but I think that he's not that bad - the pitch is there, but the tone is going out and playing with the Pachinko Machine. We get a meager 10 people coming from San Fran.
We will go tomorrow to Hawaii - a tropical paradise or a nightmare in Eden? Chico comes in tomorrow to tell us if this was a Paradise Lost.
(Chico Alexander)
"Ua mau ke ea o ka aina i ka pono". The state motto of Hawaii translates into "The life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness." And over the next hour, we'll see which of these performers lives up to the righteousness of the 808 and joins the 99 others with golden tickets, and which ones should be 86'ed and joins no one.
After stopoffs in Seattle (season 1), Detroit (season 2), and a stormy Houston, we're at Aloha Stadium for the prelims while our judges arrive at the Sheraton Waikiki and Ryan tears up some waves at the beach.
But back to the airport, where Simon partakes in young girls singing ("Absolutely terrible. Fantastic, girls!") and gets lei'd. Ruben took Hawaii last year (I know, we can't really prove that), so who knows where the next Velvet Teddy Bear would show up. Would it be Sonny "Go Sonny!" Kapu? He can freestyle, but would he shine on "Nice & Slow" like the diamond in his ear? He hits, then misses, then hits again.
Randy: "I'm not sure the voice was strong enough, but I like the whole ... I thought it was very creative."
Simon: "You really need a competition like this, because without it, it would be like Honolulu High Street with a cap on the pavement."
What the heck is that supposed to mean? Meanwhile back in the holding room...
Crowd: "Go Sonny, Go Sonny..." Yeah, Sonny's going all the way to Hollywood, mainly because Randy was entertained. Simon would've said no, but it doesn't really matter. It did when Keefelynne Aipia belted out "A Moment Like This". Bloody flat. All I have to say about it. And stops short of the hook.
Simon: "A weird place to stop. No, I'm glad you did."
So am I. Meanwhile, Ryan chases Sonny's crowd. First elevator: No. Second? No. Third... "Go Sonny, go Sonny, go Sonny."
Back in the holding room, Ryan Ferrar whips the crowd up in a round of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame". But would he create the same type of frenzy with the judges on "Straight Up." Rule one if you're trying to get to Hollywood: Do NOT do an injustice to Paula Abdul. He doesn't kill the song. He pulverizes it.
So we keep looking, even as Jon Peter Lewis was looking like he was supposed to be somewhere else. Like in a bed or something. Admittedly, he came straight from church, but will he rise to "Crazy Love?" Very different than what we're used to... but in a good way. Earlier, I mentioned the power of the trill when used properly. This guy uses it properly. Coupled with the velvet tone, though?
Simon: "Very interesting, this Jon. You have a good voice. You look like a pen salesman. And you have the personality of a mouse."
A tricky one, indeed, but Randy, Paula, and Simon all buy pens from our salesman. And he's awake now. I mean, he's booty-shakin' with the ladies, come on. He's gone to Hollywood, you don't get this opportunity often.
And speaking of opportunity, big girl Paula Fuga takes the opportunity to let the judges know that big girls rock. Will she rock on "Son of a Preacher Man?" Yes, but with a few sour notes. But the tone was still there.
Randy: "This next winner has to be HOT hot hot, not just cool."
She gives it her all, but it wasn't enough. And it's not enough for William "Pooh Bear" Lau or Mary Taua, either. But maybe Isaac Staudinger might have the song (in this case, "Lately" by Jodeci) or the dance. He has the dance, but his tone is way too open for this one to pass. Not to mention off-key. Simon thinks he's just here to get his minute on the telly, and, once again, he's ready to put up or shut up, challenging Isaac to come back with five beach-goers who disagree with him.
A reversal, as he follows through. Hard to believe that five people would be tone deaf. Admittedly, he did better on the beach, so back to the beach he goes. Yay for him.
So we're in Hawaii to get a taste of the locals, not knowing that the mainland was also in full force. Washington state, Colorado, Jersey, Oklahoma, Chicago, Alaska, Alabama, San Francisco, Nigeria?
Back to the locals for a bit, and it seems like Crystal Akana is just infused with the spirit of Aloha. She's also infused with the spirit of brown-nosing and an airbrush, as her shirt, "Hawaii <3's Simon" proves. She sings "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" by Beyonce. Right idea... wrong version. Back to the manic trillage and flat notage. I'm going to keep saying this until people get the point... No amount of elisions will hide the fact that half of the notes are flat and the pitch is off!! This is just one of the reasons why I'm not really that big on Beyonce. Needless to say, goodbye Aloha spirit, hello harsh reality. But Simon likes her shirt.
"The basic fact is she just wasn't good enough, I don't care how many people she came with. This is NOT a popularity contest." Good thing, because Camile Velasco was an army of one. Was she "Ready or Not"? It was choppy and flat in a couple of spots, but salvageable. Was it salvageable enough?
Simon: "You're nervous, aren't you? You shouldn't be, because you have a great voice."
Randy: "I love the voice, I love the dark kind of quality about it."
Another three-for, another golden ticket. Meanwhile Joseph Monderen learns the hard way that just because you sound good in the bathroom doesn't really amount to that darn much. Will it be the toilet for Clifford Iokia's "The Day?" He nails the song perfectly... except for the nasal tone. Can the habit be broken? Simon doesn't think so. Randy does. It's up to Paula. Oh boy.
Paul: "If you come to Hollywood, would you get out of that nose thing?"
He says yes. She says yes. It a giant "Yes!" moment. "I'm Hawaiian, and I'm going to Hollywood, baby! Mahalo!"
Would Matthew Motter follow him? Well, not likely if he's using his audition to a) get himself a girlfriend and b) talk down on everyone who didn't believe in him. "If you didn't believe in me, then... come hear for yourself!" We hear, but with a completely off rendition of "That Way That I Love You" by Joey McIntyre, I wouldn't believe in you either.
Hot model coming later. Just so you'd know. But first, a goat, a monkey, a baby, and three more babies. But first, Jonah Moananu, the 808 State MC Freestyle Champion. But is the singing champion on Boyz II Men's "Thank You"? A tad weak on two spots, but he makes it. Simon liked it, Randy doesn't... Again, with Paula. Or with Simon. Or with someone. Two of three sends Jonah to Hollywood, and it's time to lay the track:
"Now I was complaining, I thought I really hate it.
But now I've got the golden ticket, happy that I made it.
I met Paula Abdul, and she's so cool.
And my man Simon, yo he wasn't a fool.
He was like "Jonah, congratulations you can go."
And I was like "Yeah", my man Randy was "Yo!"
He was so skinny, but I'm glad that I'm inney,
I'm a Winnie, thinnie, I don't know what I'm saying but that's it, I'm the one,
we're in like sin, baby."
Model on the other side of the break. And what a model, as Lisa Wilson, on assignment in Hawaii, stops off to give her all on "Independence Day." Better than the kid doing it on "Star Search". Actually, one of the best Hawaii offered. One of the best. Not THE best.
Simon: "I would've said no, Lisa, but two people have said yes, so you are coming to Hollywood."
Altogether now... Riiiight. Okay. There it is. All the auditions are done with, and we're left with a fitting tribute to Roland "Don't Laugh" Maxharj, Karmen "The Bulgarian Subwoofer" Varjabedian, Jacqueline "Scat Girl" Roman, Michael "That's a No for Goat Boy" Recon, Tiffany "New Note" Ballard, Jonathan "Nearly Escaped an Assault Charge" Rey, Danny "No, Seriously, Don't Laugh!" Parker, and this season's running joke William "She Bangs! She Bangs!" Hung, as well as the other 79,992 people who gave it their best shot.
So after six cities, we're left to whittle 117 would-bes to one Idol. But first we go to 32. That's what the road to Hollywood is all about. See ya Monday!
And just so I can say I mentioned it once. "Hula girls." There. I'm satisfied now.
(Chico Alexander)
For two weeks, we've gone on a whistlestop tour of the country looking for the best undiscovered talent. What we found were 117 callbacks... as well as some of the biggest egos EVER to grace the small screen. No, seriously. We couldn't fit it all in five hours (and ten minutes of overrun into the premiere of MBFOF), so what's a network on a high to do? Simple. Add another hour. No, we won't get everything, but we will show the best of the best that weren't shown, and the worst of the worst, so gather your friends, put some popcorn on and ready your earmuffs.
Let's go back to New York, and the "we're gonna puke" of Elizabeth LeTendre. She sings "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" like she owns it. And in this competition, that and a night's work will get you top 32. Paula agrees with me, while Randy... disagrees?
Simon: "I think Randy, as well as losing weight, has also lost his sense of hearing."
Needless to say, she got through, but she's going to have to work hard if she wants even the prospect of my vote. Another such specimen from New York: Briana "Bree" Garcia, this year's spiky-haired multi-pierced entry. Like Nikki McKibbin and Patrick Lake before her, she can belt out a rock tune (in this case, Alanis Morissette's "Uninvited") when she wants to. Unlike Nikki and/or Patrick, though, she actually has artistic depth. Reluctant to share, but nonetheless there. Proof: "At Last", Etta James. Simon called top 12. I wouldn't be surprised.
Following on the heels of that, another wannabe rocker, Micah Reid. He blows (in a good way) on "Ol' Time Rock'n'Roll", right before blowing on (in a bad way... a VERY bad way) "A Whole New World". As anyone can tell you, on this show, you may have to sell out a bit if you're a rocker (See Evrard, Peter AKA the Belgian Idol). Obviously, Micah's not ready for that phase yet, but Randy and Paula seem to think he is, so on he goes. Me? I wouldn't have put him through, simply because he has that vocal schizo complex. At least Bree was consistent.
Big hair? Big shoes? A big mouth? Charly Lowrey in the ATL has none of those, but she has big pride in her Lumbee heritage and big talent on "Proud Mary". Way to do Tina proud, Charly. Dead on pitch, and she puts herself into the performance.
Randy: "I felt you."
But, and this is a rarity, Simon and I clash.
Simon: "Good, if you like textbook. A lot of people like yourself, good singers, do everything right, but old fashioned."
Okay, textbook, maybe, but not really that old fashioned. I'd say Tina from the "What's Love" days, you know? It's good enough for a golden ticket. But what happens when it's too good? Almost like someone from last year? Almost like Clay Aiken? Of course, Colin Leahy was NOT. Eric Yoder, though, just might be. He sings one of his songs from last year, "Somewhere Out Here" with a flawless falsetto. Hey, dude, Clay called. He wants his voice back. Me can drop it off on his way to Hollywood. He could make top 32 if, and it's a big if, he overcomes the Clay factor, because even done properly, it can bite him.
Also from Atlanta auditions is Jennifer Hudson, who, after the halftime entertainment last night, sported a digitally altered dress. She worked on a Disney cruise ship. Has to be better than that for Idol. "Share Your Love With Me" is the song. Not a bad rendition, but a little too over the top for top 12 if you ask me. All three pass her, but again, I'm not really sure of how far she'll go.
It's now time to meet the repeat offenders, like Amanda Mack (who trailed in Atlanta, NYC, and Hawaii), Elias Guardo (season 1 and 3), Lee Dominguez (seasons 2 and 3), and Edgar Nova (yes, he did come back for more this year. Thankfully, the FCC will not allow such indecency to be aired a second time). On second thought, repeat offenders Alan "Who flirts with Paula" Ritchson, Kira "You should come back as a bitch!" Scott (who delivered her own rendition - again, bombastic and attitude-laden - of "Have You Ever Been in Love"), and Lisa "You also need to lose weight" Leuschner (who was this close to overdoing it on "Vision of Love", but held back just enough without losing her little lustre) were worth a second look.
Speaking of second looks, please please PLEASE do not beg for one. Sure it's entertaining to watch, but you're just embarrassing yourself.
Meanwhile, we have Paula Abdul fanboy Warren Malone busting one of her classic grooves. We don't hear him sing, but we do see him hug. Tightly. Dude, she's turning blue.
Honey helps the throat, but when you're already as sweet as Diana Degarmo, you really don't need it. She's the youngest girl to make it to Hollywood with her sweet rendition of "Chain of Fools". Simon's problem, though: the cutesy routine. But she's actually keeping it real (hard to believe, yeah), so she goes on.
Next up: Sara Logan and Sergey Shor, who are both dating and auditioning. Sara's "Made for Lovin' You" is a bit weak at times, especially at the breaks, but her "it" factor makes up for it. Although I wouldn't have said effortless, Simon and Randy give her the nod. Sergey's "I'm Too Sexy" is anything but. Simple.
Simon: "You're a Russian in America singing an English song with a French accent."
Yeah, Cowell, I'm confused, too. But here's hoping the love lasts, because he's going to Hollywood, too... to cheer on Sara.
Let's play the Pyramid for a bit, alright? "I got strep throat last week." "I do better singing in front of a lot of people." "I got bit by a bat." "I'm hungry." "I'm so nervous." "The weather really made me nervous." "I have duct tape myself a corset." If you said "Excuses for bombing your American Idol audition", then you get the $10,000. And no, you don't get the $10,000.
Donnie Williams didn't have any excuse for "A Song For You". He didn't need one for that infused performance. It really hit. But Simon brings up a point. I'll leave it for you to gauge whether or not it's a valid one.
Simon: "You can sing very well. If you won this competition, there would be a problem. Because you come over as 10,15, 20 years older than who you really are."
From the resident A&R head, yeah, that is a valid point. But this is what happens when you give eligibility to any American aged 16-25. Simon reluctantly gives him the go.
Again with the booty-shaking montage.
Back to Alan for a second. He knew how to flirt (which came in handy this year, as opposed to last year's ATL auditions, when Paula was MIA). Michelle Cohen... doesn't. And it hurts that she can't hold a tune.
Then there's Marque Lynche, a dancer who didn't want to dance. He didn't need to, as he delivers a flawless performance of "I Can't Make You Love Me".
Paula: "You're nervous! You have a very nice voice, and you're adorable."
Another three-for, but if he's to make top 32, he has to work on his song choice.
Another excuse readily available, the camera. But when you put the camera on someone, watch out (i.e. giving out cell number, dancing, and swearing once you get the royal arse-boot). Remember those egos I was talking to you about? Heeeeeeeere they are!
"He wanted a number one show, he ain't gonna get it without me on it."
"F(^_^) you, Simon."
"F(^_^) you, Simon. F(^_^) you."
"F(^_^) 'em"
"Idiots, idiots, idiots."
"If Simon's watching, tell him he's a loser."
"You wanna make the show good? Choose people who can actually sing."
"Simon, you robbed my son. Randy, you robbed my son."
"I hope that when they're eating it, and they have no viewers, and the next American Idol sucks, I'll be making my first CD."
"Simon wouldn't know talent if it came up and bit him right in the (^_^)."
"American Idol sucks, but I will be back next year!"
Wow. Such drama. But the drama hasn't even begun yet. Gordon's got the final 117 in Hollywood next time. Remember, positivity. There's always the Wild Card.
(Gordon Pepper)
We started with thousands - we are down to 117 - and in a week, we will be down to 32. We have gone through the 'Keith' stage - now we have to seperate the very good to excellent stage - and we need to see who wants it more.
We start with Simon being....Simon. 'These kids will need to have therapy when they get here. The pressure also goes to the people - like Matt Rogers and Lisa Lushner, who has been here last year at this point - and got cut. We get a motage of all of the potential singers -from soccter girl and Alan Ritchei to the twin Romans - and they all think that they will be idols...
But onle 32 of them will, as Fantasio Barrino starts off the personality round. The singers start off - and we are reminded that a number of these singers did not get all yes's ferom the judges the first time around. Fantasia did - and there's no reason why she won't advance to the next round.
Jon Edward Peters, who was described as a pen salesman, also performs, byt Kiira Bevins, who had a pitch problem the first time, has another one, and with only Randy supporting her the first time, it doesn't look good. Michael 'Big Ego' Keown also has a pitch problem, but other singers just bring the ego - like Alan Richtson, who fondles himself on the stage for the judges. With that, Simon tells the singers that they are all boring - and to have fun.
What constitues fun? Writing your own song lyrics! The people have to create their own lyrics to one of 10 different song titles. Everyone is hard at work - except for Mr Richtson and Lisa Wilson, who are swimming at the pool. Will their voices float, or will he be drowning with the competition? Alan gets closer to the edge, as he is flirting with all of the women instead of composing his own songs. That's not a good type of flirt.
Eric Yoder flirts...with Paula, with a smooth song with her and Simon. 'I have to give you marks for sucking up more than any Idol in any competition in the world.' Lauren Enswiler talks about her ex-boyfriend, who is gay. Goofy, but cute, and Randy says that it could be a country hit. On the other side, Taryn Southern, who starts out strong - and then blanks out with the lyrics in a day of nerves. We get a montage of people who forget their lyrics, including 16 year old John Stephens. Simon again reminds everyone that if they haven't written their lyrics out, they have made a huge mistake.
Did Lisa Wilson make a huge mistake in not practicing? Yes she does, as she screws up as well as everyone else. MIchael Keown sings off-pitch, but he does get through the song, which Randy and Paula say that it's boring. Scootergirl is up, and she gets a good comedy song. SImon? 'I don't know if you sing a good song that is funny, or a comedienne who can sing.' Nicole says it's the former, but SImon is implying that it's the latter and that could spell trouble down the line. Also spelling troubel could be Matt Roger's effort, as Simon wonders if he is taking it seriously.
Then there is Kira Scott, who talks about dating thwe wrong man - something that Simon's ex-girlfriends could have been working on. OUCH. That is NOT a good way to get Simon's good side - and after the performance, insulting the judges is also not a good way to do it - she does have a bone to pick with Simon, who dissed her in New York, telling like calling Simon 'Gay'. 'I think you are winning us over, but destroyed her chances by being disrespectful.' Kira leaves and says that she doesn't think that she was being disrespectful, but with that attitude, she's as good as gone.
Who will be joining her? That's what the judges are figuring out as they assign the contestants into 4 rooms. In some of them, the contestants will be advancing, but in at least one of them, the singers will be going home. Kira, John and Lisa Wilson think that the are gone, wile Lisa Beivins think that she is staying.
We will find out the fate in room #1, where Fantasia, who was great, and Alan, who was...well...swimming. The judges tell them that they have advanced, and joy erupts in the room. In room #2 is John Stevens, Cassie Lebeau, the pen salesman, and Lisa Wilson - and surprisingly, tehey also all get to stay.
In room #3 is Laura Enswiler and Kira Beeiins - and they have to go home. Room 4 has the disrespectful Kira Scott, Scootergirl and Michael Keown - and they will get another chance. Beviins won't, and she is pissed, as she says that the teme this year may be Trailer Trash Idol, and that the show will suck because she's not on it. Uhh....ok.
We now get to one of my favorite parts of the competition - the group singing. People have to sing in groups of three and they have to sing one of these three songs. Alan's group hasn't gotten a song - and it's 1:30 am. Meanwhile, Lana Philiips, one of the people who has forgotten hey lyrics, is trying to find a group - but other people know that she was miss forgetful and steer away from her like the plague.
Jesus Roman. Matt Roman and George Roman finally get a song going - but Lisa Wilson's group is looking for her - and they can't find her - and they may have wanted to be looking for Lana at this point. Lana finally finds a group with Amy Adams and Scootergirl, while Brie Garcia is upset that someone's mom is trying to get in the way. 'She's not getting up there to sing with us.' Jesus Roman is upset that the group is quitting at 3am, while Matt says that sleep is the biggest part of the competition. Jesus thinks that he picked the wrong group...but who is the weak member of the group? We'll find out tomorrow, as we conclude and get to the final 32.
(Gordon Pepper)
Last time out, we cut 117 to 87. This is the final cut, and we will be down to 32. We start the episode of the morning of the group competition. Everyone is confident - except Simon, who says that most of them will forget their lines or sing out of tune - 'a musical car crash'. Simon and Randy remind them to not forget the words -though we know that most of them will.
As the groupd, we have Divas in Red, the Ghetto Fab Four, Suburban Funk, and the Bleach Boys. Meawnwhile, the Roman twins are in seperate groupd. We start with 'The Aloha Spirit' (Sonny Kapo, Clifford Iokia and Jonah Moananou), who sing 'Out on the Roof', which is a nice way to get it going. Sim called it OK, but Clifford says 'For SImon, that's actually good', and he's right.
The Bleach Boys are next, and Michael Keown , one of the members, prediects that he will be one of the top 3. The perixide must have gotten to his head, as he forgets the words - and John Preator and Matt Metzger don't do much better. Randy equates it to a bad Love Boat trip. Michael reminds them that he has sung better in the past - and not just on this song. Simon replies - 'I don't think you will be alone in that sentiment.'
He's right, as we get a montage of forgotten words - including Noel Roman, brother of Jesus. Remember Jesus Roman? Well, he said that his team lets him down. Well he was practicing all night - and that wasn't good for him, because he blanked ot on his lines, too. Matt and George, meanwhile, nails the lyrics and they look real good - and they make Jesus look real bad. George and Matt are both trying to look younger by wearing hats, which seems to work, while Jesus accuses them of not working, which lead to his own lyric-forgetfulness. Matt's reaction? - 'I'm not saying that I had the best performance, but I didn't forget my lines. Where's the group effort in that?' Meow, meow, meow...
We get more people who forget their lyrics, including second time offenders from John Stephens and Terrance Gaines. 'If you sang like that in a Karaoke Bar, they would turn the power off.'
Would the women do any better? Well, we are looking for Meleana, as her members are looking for her. They find her - and she immediately walks in the other direction. That's not looking too good for them...
Meanwhile, Elizabteh LeTendre, Dina Lopez and Leah Vladowski find a mom that they can live with - Leah's mom was a star in Bulgaria, and she chreographs them to make them a huge success. Meanwhile, Meleana, as can be expected, bombs, but she takes her two teammates with her as they all get cut from this round.
An interlude from Simon who says that when he looks out, the audience looks like that they are happy when someone screws up - but then look sympathetic when the cameras are on them. Case in point - Lana, who tries to get out of her reputation - but doesn't when she mangles up her lines and tunes. She admits that she was ad-libbing, and she's as good as gone. Scootergirl gets a good compliment from Randy and she wants to transform herself into a better singer.
But the women aren't perfect either, as we get another montage of bad female singing - including the Divas in red, Lisa Wilson and Jasmine 'small person' Arteaga. And with that taste in their mouths, it's time to cut out 30 more people. Brea Hancock is one of the casualties, as well as Bao Viet, Jasmine Aerteaga, Lana Phillips and the ego trip, Michaek Keown. But Keown isn't done yet, telling him that he had a great audition in NYC, Simon said that he got that far - and said that today, he didn't stand out. Well, Michael did stand out - but in the wrong way.
So we get to the final performance before they are cut to 32 people. They get one last chance to sing and talk about themselves. Jonah picks 1 - and like every other time, he goes first and does a good job. So does Sarah Silva and Leah, although Simon doesn't like it. Scootergirl sings well - but Randy and Simon are wondering if they can do pop music. Paula tells them to improve her image and I am not getting any good vibes here - though she says if she does get there, she will advance. Eskskine Walcott sounds good, and he should advance. Amy Adams delivers another knock-out effort and she should get in.
Marcus Butts, who announced himself before he sang, may have played his way out of the competition, as he seemed a little fll of himself. Jennifer Hudson's outfit, according to Simon, 'You are wearing something that you should wrap a turkey in.' When everything was said and done, Simon tells everyone that although the group singing was one of the worst days ever, this group last night may have been one of the best efforts. He leaves them there as the judges deliberate.
For the final cut, the singers are in 3 rooms. 2 of them have singers that will advance, while one of them have singers who will be stopped right there. Room #1 has Matt Rogers, John Stephens, Lisa Wilson, John Peter 'Pen Salesman' Lewis, and the Roman brothers - and they advance, much to the joy and screaming of the crowd.
Room #2 has the trying to look younger George Huff, Sarah Silva, Alan Richtson, Scootergirl - and they get knocked out. Tell me how you are going to eliminate Scootergirl, someone with the personality and who nailed everything, and keep John Stevens, someone who messed up the lyrics not once, but twice. You can even hear Nicole telling Paula that she did everything that they wanted her to do - and I agree. She got robber, and I hope that they put her back in on the wild card round.
Room #3 (and we know that they are advancing) includes Amy Adams, Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia Barrino and Brie Garcia. They get in and those are your final 32.
You guys come into play next week - where you get the first group of 8 - Fantasia Barrino, Diana DeGarmo, Jennifer Hudson, Mark Lynch, Matthew Metzger, Ashley Thomas, Erkskine Walcott and Katie Webber.
We'll see you then, and don't forget to vote!
(Gordon Pepper)
The 3 weeks worth of auditions are over - now it's our turn to judge. We vote, we decide, and we get to savage the singers. I for one, will be enjoyting the savaging. Will this be the best group ever? Or will I be pining for the return of Scootergirl and WIlliam Hung?
Just as a recap, for the next 4 weeks, we get the top 2 from each group of 8 - then the wild card round where anyone in any stage of the competition could come back - including Scootergirl (could happen) and Mr. Hung (probably won't happen - but it could be an improvement if he replaces the host).
There are some differences this time around. For starters, the backstage and the frontal stage area is nicer - and there is also now a live audience surrounding the stage. What doesn't change is that the judges go after everyone = and we start with Simon attacking Diana DeGarmo's pink and black outfit. She sings 'I Got the Music In Me', and for 16 years old, she sings very well. Not as emotional as I would have expected, but a very solid and in tune effort to start off the show. Randy and Paula was feeling it, while SImon says 'You remind me when Christina Aguilera was nice.' Uh, thanks.... I think.
Singer #2 is Marque Lynche - and the African-American classically trained dancer has a tough act to follow. He is much more emotional than Diana and he takes a page out of the Clay Aiken book and makes sweet facial love to the camera - but he doesn't have that power in that voice when he sings 'Beaches'. The judges eat it up - but SImon says that it fels a little different than what he thought. Marque counter that he sang it for his mom, which gets another round of AwwwwBarf from me - but the singers are 2-0 in the performance rating.
Do we get three straight good performances with Ashley Thomas? She wants to show off her fun side - but I'm not sure singing 'Crazy' is exactly the way to do that - or to stay on pitch. She has a good voice, but she is not on key - and on this sort of song, if youre not on key, it's like listening to screaming cats. The judges liked it - but they weren't blown away and Simon equates it to Rodeo Idol. She does have that country sass, and it wouldn't surprise me, because of the country demographics, to see her sneak in as a dark horse.
Singer #4 is Katie Webber, a 22 tyear old blonde dance major who sings 'Flash Bam Ala-Kazaam'. That's an interesting choice of song - but she nails it and she is my favorite so far. Randy was feeling it and Paula loved her stage presence - though she wanted it a little younger - but Simon now calls it Smoky Bar Idol. She thought it was a fun song, and I liked it a lot.
We get through the threat of a Simon/Paula halftime show and move on to #5 - Erskine Walcott, a dancing African-American Stagehand who had to learn English as he moved to the states. He doesn't want to be too emotional when he sings 'In Your Arms' - But he should be worried more about his pitch, which was flat. He only did one chorus, which was fine for me. I thought he was ok - but just ok. The judges liked it, but Simon thinks that it was bland and safe and like CHinese food - 'I'll love it at the time, but it will leave you hungry...we're looking for Spaghetti Bolonaise, that was Sweet and Sour Chicken.' I continue to agree with Simon.
Singer #6 is Jennifer 'You look like something you would wrap a turkey in' Hudson, an African American cruise director who cries everytmg she heard Marque sing. Do we have romance going on? She sings 'Imagine' and that was just not a good choice of song. She sounds like she would sound better in the lower register, because she is clearly struggling in the higher register. She does get out of it nicely, but she didn't pick the right song. Simon and Paula thought it was just ok, but Simon says that she made love to the audience. As a cute barb, Jennifer asked Simon how he liked the outfit - heh. I liked her outfit better than I liked her tune.
Singer #7 is Matthew Metzger, a 23 year old substitute teacher - but you may remember him as 1. One of the final 48 that got cut last year, or 2. One of the members of the peroxide blonde trio whomangled their words this year. He does make me happy by singing one of my favorite songs which is weird, because 'Walking in Memphis' - but I like the version that was done much better by Scooter. Matthew brings the same pitch that he sang as a member of team Peroxide - and that's not a good thing because his pitch was awful and easily the worst singer there so far. Randy agrees with me - but Paula doesn't and says that he was an improvement. Simon likes his stage presence, but if that's the best that he could say, that's not exactly giving a ringing endorsement.
Fantasia Barrino is the last singer - and she doesn't want to be known as Macy Grey. She has a personality (bordering on ego), and she definitely makes a different song with 'Let's Give Them Something to Talk About.' She does hit the pitch, but I don't like her tone and she doesn't really seem to be interacting with the audience. Randy says that she is what the competition is about, Paula says that Fanbtasia has to be in the finals - and Simon says that Fantasia wouldn't need the competition to get a recording contract. This is my first major disagreement here - because I am not feeling her. Do I think that she will get into the finals? Definitely. Will I be voting for her? No.
This is going to be weird, because my 2 picks are completely different than what I think the audience will pick. The fact that we have a lot of different people with potential to get in says a lot about the level of talent for this season. The 2 that I voted for is Katie Webber and Diana DeGarmo. The 2 people that I think the audience will pick is Fantasia Barrino and Marque Lynche - with DeGarmo being the third person. We'll see how right I am tomorrow.
(Gordon Pepper)
We are back - and we get to see the audience's opinion for the first time this season! We already have the controversy with Paula fondling Simon - and Simon gainign weight while Randy is losing some. SImon 'Kind of like (Ryan's) head. Ouch.
We start with 11.5 million votes coming in - and a recap of yesterday's activities. Going to the Idolers, Marque says that he sang well for his mom, Katie had no problem with her jazz selection, and Fantasia says that she would marry Simon. Way to suck it up, Fantasia.
The judges consensus? Randy says Diana and Fantasia, Paula says Diana and Fantasia, and Simon says Diana and Fantasia. We have a unanimous decision. But what did the audience say?
We start with Marque - and he is not in the top 3. Wow - I immediately get shot down. Ashley doesn't get in either - but Fantasia gets in the Top 3, so I feel a little redemption. Erskine does not make the top 3, but Diana does - and 2 of my 3 get in. Katie doesn't get in, which leaves Matthew and Jennifer Hudson. The person going on is....Matthew? Huh? Simon and Paula isn't surprised, but Randy, who trashed Matthew, still says that the voice isn't good enough. I agree with Randy, and I would be shocked if Matthew got into the final two. Even if Matthew doesn't make it, it just goes to show that the audience isn't always voting according to taste - and that charisma (and being the token White boy) still plays a major part of the voting.
With 23% of the vote, the first person to be accepted in is...Fantasio Barrino, who sings a little more of 'Let's Give Them Something to Talk About'. I still don't like the tone in her voice, but I'll give her this - it was an EXCELLENT choice of song, as it gives her a great country cross-over for people in different voting cross-sections to vote for her.
Joining Fantasia will be....Diana DeGarmo. Fortunately, America has come to it's senses and voted in Diana. She sings her reprise and we are out of here.
Next week - Group 2 - Lisa Leuschner, Matthew Rogers, Noel Roman, Jesus Roman, Briana Ramirez-Rial, Camile Velasco, John Preator and Kara Master. This certainly looks like Matthew and Lisa would be heavy favorites here, but this audience is the same one that stuck Mattheew Metzger in the top three, so you never know...
(CHico Alexander)
The search for the next American Idol continues with eight more people, nee Group 2. Ryan welcomes us to the most popular show on TV (*fanfare*). Now if he had that much interest, maybe I'd watch On Air.
In any event, today promises to be probably one of the most heated battles in all of Idols history, as the Roman brothers go toe to toe... But then again, they can't discount any of he other six, and speaking of the other six, we begin with Matt Rogers, the slightly balding, greatly pudgy Italian crooning linebacker from the LA audition. He loves making people laugh, but will his performance of "What You Won't Do for Love" (and his metrosexual tendencies) make us cry? Or will his request to "feel me" come to fruition?
In a word... No. I love this song, and he just goes from flat notewise to flat emotionally and back again. Dude, this is a one-in-four shot at the show. You need to sell it like a whore. But it seemed like he was trying to save it a bit. There's no saving it this time. Not even a stellar ending.
Randy: "I wasn't feeling it tonight. It sounded safe to me. Didn't sound like the Matt I knew."
Paula: "You got into it, but I didn't feel that confidence you exuded earlier."
Simon: "I would give that performance a three out of ten."
So we have our first definite "go home." We also have our first Bri, aka Briana Ramirez-Rial. Her suspenders give her super powers, as does her dad (God rest his soul). Time to feel the power of "Don't Know Why"? In another word... No. Didn't start out strong. Struggles all through the rest. I don't know why she even tried to sing it based on that performance, and I hope you didn't quit your day job.
Randy: "I love Norah Jones, but I don't even know what to even say to that."
Paula: "I don't feel like I got to see your nice tone."
Simon: "It was just NOTHING! I actually said to Paula, 'What the hell are you supposed to say constructively to that?'"
I hope this isn't a portent of things to come, because these guys are flat-out sucking. Luckily, we have part one of the basher brothers, Noel Roman. It feels weird for him at first, but he grows into his performance of "This I Promise You." Sounds good, but falls flat fast. You can tell he's holding back. I think we might have a case of RJ Helton here. Add a few weak struggles, and it looks like Jesus might make this a one-sided fight.
Randy: "That was terrible! You got five notes right out of 20!"
Paula: "Where's that dynamic personality?"
Simon: "If the judging criteria were for managing for singing every note out of tune, you would win tonight. It was absolutely excruciating."
Three and out, and I'm about prepared to punt. After a plug for "Uncut, Uncensored, and Untalented" (which will, no doubt, feature most of tonight's performances as well as William Hung - his face is on the bug and everything!), I'm hoping that Kara Master will come to save us. Her fashion sense is a plus, but is her performance of "I'm Outta Love" a minus? In a word... maybe. It's safe, but she didn't really add herself into the piece. But tonewise and pitchwise, and compared to the other three, she sounds like a professional. That's not saying much, by the way. What did the judges think of "Julia DeMato, but better?"
Randy: "Wasn't for me. Pick a better song and sing it better."
Paula: "Hard song to sing. Anastacia had a huge voice."
Simon: "A good thing we didn't have to charge the audience tonight, because they'd ask for a refund. The way it's heading, no one's going to win tonight!"
Well, we're halfway done. And right now I'm pining for Martha Krabill and Scootergirl. Will Lisa Leuschner break the slide? Please let her break the slide! Karaoke assistant? Confession: hopes aren't high at the moment. But her voice might be high on "Sweet Thing". Might. Actually, she's not half bad. The first singer to inject herself successfully in the song. And I like the soulful tone of her voice. Let's see what the judges have to say.
Randy: "Finally! Somebody that can sing! Thank God!"
Paula: "I'm happy for you. You did yourself proud."
Simon: "You did something tonight. You sang in tune. It was good, but it wasn't fantastic."
Could she be a turnaround point? Will Jesus save? Jesus Roman is next, still thinking about "believing in himself." Because if he can't, the public won't. Luckily the public won't have to judge him on push-ups, but he might have to go "Back at One." And with a swagger and weakness at that, we might be going ALL the way back at one.
Randy: "This performance makes me feel like we're back at audition."
Paula: "You came out defeated."
Simon: "The good news is you made your brother sound good."
OUCH! Jesus has left the room. Enter Camile Velasco from Hawaii. She couldn't conquer her nerves in the first audition. It seems like she hasn't made any strides in that department. "One Last Cry" is the song, and so far, I want to cry. Dead on pitch cancels out a flat, emotionless tone... But then again, the ending wasn't that bad.
Randy: "The tone was there, but this definitely wasn't the song for you. You're like a young Lauryn Hill!"
Paula: "It's very unique."
Simon: "You've got potential. You're probably the best tonight."
Well, Randy and Simon seem to agree with me on the performance tonight. You know what else I agree with? That Simon deserves a punch in the face. Well, Homer Simpson gets his wish this Sunday on "The Simpsons."
Finally, Joy to the world, and Joy to the stage. It's Marisa Joy. Will she bring Joy to my face (finally) with "Some Kind of Wonderful." Hmm... Joy... Wonderful... Reminds me more of Joss Stone than Grand Funk. And that's not necessary a bad thing. She's probably the best there was tonight. Finally... some joy.
Randy: "Vocally, it was okay. What was with the stance?" (she just crouches singing)
Paula: "Your eyes just light up on camera. I really felt you 3/4 of the way through the song."
Simon: "It's not difficult to go after that lot. You have something in your voice that was really good, but you have the posture of a bar singer. I think you were in the top three tonight."
A nice finish to an otherwise "abysmal" night. I'd put the three best performances in my top three. Those would be Camile, Marisa, and Lisa, with Camile on the outside looking in. The judges agree with me, but we'll see if the voice of the people agrees with me tomorrow.
Chico: Aaaand it's tomorrow, meaning that it's time for... RE-sult! Here's Gordon to join me in sharing in the disaster that was last night.
Gordon: That show yesterday was awful.
Chico: My guess... Marisa and Lisa. Those were the only two I genuinely liked wholly
Gordon: I'll say Lisa and Matt. Matthew Metzger almost got in with NO talent - Rogers, who actually has talent, will get in.
Chico: Yeah, but he only got as far as top 3. You saying that Rogers could go on the outside looking in?
Gordon: I think he's on the inside - and the Hawaiian is on the outside
Chico: First is 27.8%, second is 27.0%
Gordon: And the reason why its so close is that you had 4 possibles and 4 William Hungs. And 2 of the my NYC boys didn't sound nearly as good as Mr. 'She Bangs'
Chico: I counted five Hungs, including Matt Rogers.
Gordon: Which 3 did you like?
Chico: Marisa, Camile, and Lisa.You?
Gordon: Lisa, Matt, Camile
Chico: But that's ours... Let's see what America says...
Gordon: It amazes me that some of these people got in - but Scooter girl didn't get a whiff? She sang in tune and didn't screw up a single line in the auditions - I expect to see her in the Wild Card round.
Chico: You know, I don't know. I'm still reeling from that. Her and Martha Krabill.
Gordon: My parents, for what it's worth, liked Matt and Briana in the finals.
Chico: Well, my sibs liked Lisa and Marisa.
Gordon: But unlike Camille, they don't find Simon sexy.
Chico: So the three of us in agreement. And so are the judges. Randy says Camile and Lisa. Paula says Camile and Lisa. Simon says Camile... and not anyone else, because he doesn't care.
Gordon: But he's still sexy
Chico: Glad you feel that way.
Gordon: If he gives me a million dollar singing contract, I'll find him deliciously sexy.
Chico: He's not actually giving it to you, though. America's giving it to you. That's a lot of sexiness there.
Gordon: I find America verrrrrrry sexy. I'm too sexy for my Randy, too Sexy for my Simon, but not too sexy for Janet's breast.
Chico: He's a sexy bitch, America.
Gordon: You vote for me, America, I'll be your sexy bitch. And I'll sing She Bangs with my good buddies William Hung, Ricky and Edgar - but if the singers sing the way that they do - William Hung may be brought back to the Wild Card - just because he has more potential.
Chico: Let's just hope he doesn't get the votes. He doesn't need the attention.
Gordon: If they sing like this, I'll vote for him. Seriously, seeing how America voted last week, charisma counts just as much as singing, Matt is a lock for the Top 3 - three women will never make the top 3
Chico: Plug the idolonfox.com site, by the way. Okay, results time. First, Noel: Randy hated it. Paula hated it. Simon hated it. America hated it.
Gordon: GONG! And Jesus looks like he's going with him
Chico: Jesus: Randy hated it, Paula was sorry for him, and Simon hated it as well... another gong, please.
Gordon: GONG!
Chico: But Jesus had more votes.
Gordon: ok - Half a GONG!
Chico: Wow. Lisa: Randy liked it. Paula LOVED it. Simon thought it was alright... She's in the TOP 3!
Gordon: I called Lisa, thanks you very much.
Chico: Me too, dude... Me too... Kara: Randy, Paula, and Simon didn't really like it that much.
Gordon: GONG!
Chico: America didn't like it that much either. Camile. This was my other one... Randy says "aight." Paula said "incredible". Simon said "probably the best"... TOP THREE! That was me, baby. That was me.
Gordon: I had her in the Top 3 too.
Chico: Bri: Randy didn't like it. Paula liked it somewhat, and Simon didn't see anything... And that's all we see of her.
Gordon: Bye bye Bri =( - GONG!
Chico: Leaving us with Matthew and Marisa... Matthew: Randy wasn't feeling it tonight. Paula wasn't feeling it either. Simon was feeling a three out of ten.
Chico: Marisa: Randy says okay. Paula says beautiful. Simon likes her voice, but hates her posture.
Chico: I say Lisa, Gordon says Matthew.
Gordon: And we get a commercial break.
Chico: I've seen stranger things happen. And yes, a commercial break is one of them.
Gordon: Stranger than a commercial break - how about MAN VS. BEAST 2!!!!! Yes, we'll be recapping it on this site.
Chico: Whoa... Now THAT's strange!
Gordon: And Chico in a leather leopard bikini.
Chico: That's just scary. That's scary and wrong. That's scary and wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself. How could you think about that?
Gordon: I went out of my head when Jesus and Roman sang - they caused me to think perverted thoughts. They sang me right out of my mind.
Chico: I had to have a few adult beverages to put those sounds out of my head.
Chico: Okay, time for the reveal... In the top three is... Matthew?!
Gordon: Yeah baby. I told you so - now put on that bikini!!! On second thought - please don't.
Chico: Hell no. I say they bring Marisa back, because she was alright... Okay, first finalist.... with 27.8..... CAMILE!
Gordon: Camile is in first, eh? This could be an all female Idol because I do think that Lisa outsang Matt.
Chico: American Divas Live. Lots of head gyrations...
Gordon: aww -she's crying. AwwwwwBarf
Chico: She's crying and singing... Isn't that sweet...
Gordon: What's Hawaiian for AwwwwBarf?
Chico: alohaaaaaaaabarf.
Gordon: That works.
Chico: Let's hope she's down to her last cry, because she's got a lot more singing before all is said and done. Now it's down to Lisa and Matt. I say Lisa.
Gordon: Matt had the worse performance - but he had the better charisma going in - I say he pulls a Rickey Smith and sneaks in.
Gordon: But even if he doesn't, I'd like to point out that I'm 3 for 3, which makes me 5 for 6 so far.
Chico: You're saying that you know something I don't?
Gordon: I did this week =)
Chico: Because I'm 4 for six myself. I didn't see Matthew Metzger going in.
Gordon: I know one more singer than you do - heh heh heh - Don't forget the worst of American Idol on March first - right to lead up to Forever Eden.
Chico: Dance, William Hung... Dance.
Gordon: lol
Chico: Hey, Gordon! Ask me who's going to be on the show next week!
Gordon: Chico, who's going to be on the show next week?
Chico: That would be Amy Adams, Elizabeth Letendre, John Peter Lewis, Latoya London, Charly Lowrey, Jonah Moananu, Leah Labelle, and Eric Yoder.
Gordon: That's amazing Chico - and who just advanced into the finals?
Chico: Matthew Rogers... freak =p
Gordon: MWA HA HA HA HA. I am right - again. Idolize me, America, as I am your sexy bitch.
Chico: I am three for four on the top 12. And I say he doesn't get as far as top 6.
Gordon: I am three for four as well. I say he pulls a Clay Aiken and improves his way to the Top 4. This is the first good white singer that they have had - he could be a serious threat to win the whole thing.
Chico: We'll see. Right now, we need eight spots to fill, and I need... that's nice, Matt. Very... showmanlike.
Gordon: He's an emotional psychotic football player /singer - we all know that America needs one of those
Chico: Yeah. Someone to be scared of. That'll grab the ladies. Okay, that's it this week. Back next week with less sour notes and more bombastic performances, if we're lucky. Good night!
Gordon: See ya!
(Chico Alexander)
A classic American Idol barb could describe last week's show...
"Absolutely dreadful".
Needless to say, tonight's eight, known in the collective as Group Three, better put their hearts, minds, asses, and other body organs into tonight's show, otherwise, we're gonna have a pretty crappy season. All I can say is... Seacrest, you owe us.
He gives us... Elizabeth LeTendre first. All spunk and half class, she learned the hard way that 1.5 doesn't mean you're the one. But she might be the one to beat with "I Wanna Dance with Somebody". Impressive range, and she owns the stage with her energy, but she's all over the place tonewise. And shouting isn't helping either. But so far, better than at least half of group 2.
Randy: "That was hot! Already better than last week!"
Paula: "Your vocals are spot on tonight. Excellent job."
Simon: "Good singer, cheap performance."
Yeah, I bet Simon can perform with the best of them. Elizabeth, meanwhile, admits to being "horny and cheap." So does Ryan. Scary. What's scary also? Eric Yoder, the second coming of Clay Aiken, voicewise. Hes hoping to find some personality inside, but he won't find it "In the Still of the Night". Flat and emotionless. Very flat and very emotionless. And he showboats. Yeah, he knows he sucks. And the falsetto is definitely a killer. Although Randy disagrees.
Randy: "The performance was cool for me, but you brought it home at the end."
Paula: "A little sketchy at the beginning."
Simon: "You are, at the moment, just a good voice."
Wow, all three disagree. I didn't see anything appealing. But apparently the kids love it, so who am I. Next up, Amy Adams, makeup artist and nervous wreck. How nervous? In a word, sorta. She sounds like Celine in the first few bars of "The Power of Love". And the second few bars. And when she injects herself, it comes off as a bit weak. In short, passable, but only passable. Not phenomenal quite yet, but getting there.
Randy: "You got the personality. I was impressed that you started out by yourself."
Paula: "You are phenomenal."
Simon: "I look at you and I think Cabaret Idol rather than American Idol."
If she can get out of the cabaret stage, she could go far in the contest. Big note, William Hung will bang one more time on Monday's "American Idol: Uncut, Uncensored, Untalented". Make a note. Fourth on the hole, "Pen salesman" Jon Peter Lewis. He has no more pens, but he looks like Kurt Nilsen... could be a plus side. He tries out "Tiny Dancer". And we have the first person that I actually wholly like. If he can get out of that facial rut, he's going to go far.
Randy: "Sounds kinda cartoonish, but I was feeling you."
Paula: "I think you did a nice job."
Simon: "I think you are an American with a good voice."
If he doesn't get through, then he should make Wild Card. We'll see when the votes go through. Remember, America loves a loser. Next up from down the road in Pembroke is Charly Lowry. Hey, Tar Heel! Gotta love that. She brings the soul to "Chain of Fools". Could be better. Could be worse. But she works the stage, and that should garner a few thousand votes. As much as I liked the ending, it was a "so what" performance.
Randy: "Pitchwise, you were all over the place. It was just alright for me."
Paula: "Looking for a tighter performance."
Simon: "I'm going to say something really odd. I agree with [Paula]. You just got to let go."
As for me, see above note on Jon Peter Lewis. Rolling all five of his necks is Jonah Moananu. The drama teacher/808 State MC wants America to vote for him because he can sing. And he can, proving it on "I Wish". BUT it isn't the power performance it needs to be. Come on, you need to bring it. You've got a one in four chance of making the show. You've got to convince me that you want it...
Randy: "You didn't really show the vocal skills. Now you need to shine, baby."
Paula: "Just wasn't heavy on melody."
Simon: "I just don't think you're very good."
Down to two... First one: Leah LaBelle (Vladowski). Her mom's a pop star, and if we're lucky, good talent is genetic. She starts out weak on "I Have Nothing". Unfortunately, she stays there for a while. At least until the hook. That's when she pours on the power. I see potential, but right now, "I Have Nothing" is pretty descriptive of the entire package.
Randy: "Whitney's very tough to do. I still feel you. I love the style of your voice."
Paula: "You are a star. You have, by far, such extreme potential."
Simon: "You have almost everything right, but you're not quite right yet. I think, potentially, you are the best we've seen tonight."
And finally, we've got Latoya London. She couldn't stop looking mum-sy. My sister personally thinks her new wardrobe hurts her eyes. But what about the voice? "All By Myself" is the song she eventually choose. This is one of those songs that, unless you can nail it, you shouldn't try. She tries to own it, and for the most part, succeeds. That was the breakout I was looking for all series! This is what Idol is all about. Standing O = definite top 12.
Randy: "You're the best I've heard ever since we started this!"
Paula: "You have the most unbelievable quiet confidence we've seen."
Simon: "Superb and outstanding."
Hey, Latoya. Just a secret between you, me, and the readers of this site... I think you made it. For me now, it's a draw between Jon Peter and Amy for the second chair, with Amy edging out but barely. Tomorrow, we'll see who joins Diana, Fantasia, Matt, and Camile in the top 12.
(Gordon Pepper)
I am sort of frustrated - I completely agree with Chico - which quite frankly, scares me. Latoya is a no-brainer to get in - but I think that Amy's charisma and performance was so powerful that she will edge out Jon Peter Lewis for the second spot.
We'll see if I'm right - but FOX starts the segment by doing the obvious - telling Latoya that she is in the top three. We then rattle off four people who will not be joining us - Liz, Eric, Charly and Jonah, before we get to Amy Adams - and she's in. That leaves us with Leah and Jon Peter Lewis. I still don't see three women advancing, so I guess that the salesman makes it in. He does, and me and Chico are both 3 for 3.
Who advances? In first place is...Latoya. That's not a surprise - and I will agree with Chico that Amy, due to the stronger charisma, gets in as well. She does, and Amy and Latoya are your 2 finalists.
The final 8 people include...George Huff. Wha? Well apparently, thanks to other people getting into trouble iwith the law, Mr Huff is back to perform. We'll see next week if he takes full advantage of his second opportunity - or if he doesn't, who does.
(CHico Alexander)
We interrupt this regularly scheduled talent contest to bring you... well, this.
We all know that "American Idol" is often where you see the pinnacle of undiscovered talent, where the best of the best come to show their stuff, where dreams are made and stars are born.
You won't see any of that today. Instead, we brought back fine specimens of having no pitch, no tone, no range, and no shame. People of Earth, I give you "American Idol: Uncut, Uncensored, and Untalented." Yes, it's a one-hour salute to the people who were a little too advanced, a little too left-field, and, well, to put it succinctly... BAD. You may cower in about 57 minutes, I promise.
Now as you all know, to audition for American Idol, you have to:
1) Find a host city.
2) Camp out a few days in line (Tents optional, but not encouraged by the hardcore fangirls)
2.5) Find a way to kill time.
3) Audition for the producers.
4) Audition for the judges and, to a certain extent, Ryan.
5) Don't be like Keith from last year.
At 4, you begin quivering basket case mode. "The worst thing that could happen is that your life is totally wrecked because you sang badly on this show." Way to pour on the enthusiasm, Simon. After that, Ryan goes over a laundry list of things that you SHOULDN'T do at your audition. Much like the last from the late February WLTI, it reads as follows:
1) Shout.
2) Read your lyrics.
3) Make strange noises.
4) Impersonate. Especially Keith.
5) Forget your lyrics.
6) Sing badly.
7) Never, EVER, close your eyes.
Case in point: Georgina Concepcion, aka Dog Girl from the intro. She has a lot to say and a lot to offer. Doesn't mean that she can sing without the aid of props and/or insanity. She's not that bad, really... but the puppets really suck.
Simon: "What worries me is that I'm tempted to put the dog through." Well, both Georgina and her dog are through. Watching. At least she's no Keneshia Harold. Thank goodness for that. At least she doesn't have a self-confidence problem. Actually, yes she does, but not the ones in the next segment. They all thinks that they are the next American Idol. And yet, none of them made it through. They even butchered "Chains of Love", one of my faves from the late 80s. Now I'm pissed.
Bringing back Martha Krabill, not really that bad, but a little on the jumpy side. And hey, she looks like a girl now. She pins Ryan with some Airborne wings, right before taking the stage for "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy". Again, not really that bad, but not season three caliber. Very Broadway caliber. Airborne, Martha. Now jump outta here before Paula Fuga has to wail on you. Not unlike her tongue/tonsil/pharynx lashing of "Son of a Preacher Man" in Hawaii. Big girls still rock, as Paula brings Ryan one of her shirts. And yes, she still thinks she should've gone to Hollywood. Well, she's in Hollywood now, so why not vent her anger out in the song she wrote for one big girl and one ukulele.
Right after seeing Joey Wong's uncut footage (hair good, voice bad), we revisit some of Ryan's reactions to some other initial reactions. Some of them were good, others were painful physically (lots of people, lots of hugging), and some were... well...
"That guy can shove it!"
"That guy can shove his crumpets up his (AI logo)."
"(AI logo)"
"Theythinki'mtooCRAZY!"
That just leaves Ryan to be the sole shoulder to cry on. Unfortunately. Especially for Danny Parker, who had the judges in hysterics all through his performance and would personally like an apology. Well, Danny, here you go. Simon?
"Danny, I have to say sorry. Sorry that you came into the audition room and sang out of tune. Sorry that you even entered American Idol, because I had to sit through it. Therefore, I'm sorry. *Pout*"
That's a lot of rage, Danny. But it's put to shame by Lonnie Hightower of the Houston audition, who was pretty good... if you like lounge singing. He's back, be-haired, and chill for the most part, but when he was in Houston... well, you remember his bitchfest. "America, I apologize for that. I was really hurt." He stirs up a more vocally sound rendition of "America the Beautiful", minus some of the showboating tinges we saw from the first time out. Good enough for wild card, at least.
Of course, later that week, we would see that that wasn't the case. And speaking of wild cards, there was a famous one last year that screamed "skinny geeky white boy" but a voice that screamed "Wow." Of course, that was Clay Aiken. We've seen similar voice/body mismatches since (Karmen Varjabedian and Warren White III come to mind, as does last year's Anthony Fitzpatrick). And it's gotten so bad, that Ryan had a little body/voice moment.
Milton Ocampo was weak. Maybe he should've taken lessons from Jackie "Scat Girl" Roman. See list above for what she did exactly. She goes right into her performance of "Neutron Dance". Better than the first time we saw her... but that isn't exactly saying much. At least it wasn't over the top like some of these charade performers, classic examples of overjiggling, overshaking, and overcooking notes.
And then there's one more performance, proof that just because you don't win, doesn't mean you're a loser... I could hardly sum it up myself, so I'll let Mark "Mr. Voice of Fox" Thompson do it.
"Once, an anonymous face in a crowded holding room, this man's life has changed beyond compare. Once, he walked the campus of Berkeley alone. Now, he needs a police escort to make it to his civil engineering classes. Once, merely a number, his name is now legend across the country. Even Jimmy Fallon paid homage to him on Saturday Night Live. He's the latest American singing sensation. His banging puts even Ricky Martin to shame. He is... HUNG."
People of Earth, I give you... William Hung. Ever since the appearance, he has taken little steps toward both improving and girls. We learn that he's still trying to figure out his record deal ("Contracts are very serious deals. They require attention."), that his fans are mainly women, that he wants to research LA air pollution ("I'm struggling through most of the things I do with my life"), and that he is single.
Ladies... you know how we do.
We're all ready to bang, and apparently, so are his flygirls (the first Idol to have fly girls. Wow). After that performance, we're reminded why we love him. Because he's a geek who scored with four groupies.
"She Bangs?" No, William. You bang. You bang, William Hung. Group four tomorrow. Play us out, William.
(Chico Alexander)
Well, we had the second coming of Martha Krabill on yesterday's show. Now we move onto some reasonably more talented fare, as we welcome Group Four. Now as you know, Donnie Williams had a little episode of his own involving some hooch and a V6, so he's been thrown out of this competition. Enter alternate George Huff, who is determined to make the most of this second chance.
Well, wouldn't you be?
First up, a name you have to practice. Suzy Vulaca (pronounced VOO-la-tha), who won her ticket to audition by virtue of being crowned "Arizona Idol". Luckily you don't have to sing in Fijian, so Suzy's performance of "Unbreak My Heart" should be something to watch. And it is, showcasing a perfect blend of innocence and powerful. This is selling. You can tell she believes in this performance.
Randy: "That was actually really good for your voice, because I don't remember you having this huge range before."
Paula: "Perfect. You've shown so much growth."
Simon: "No question of doubt that was a good vocal performance, but did you see anything original in that performance, other than a sound-alike Toni Braxton? Because the trouble with you is that you're going to be forgettable."
Well, we have a good singer, but not a standout star. I think she can grow and break out. May be top 3. Wish I could say the same for John Preator, but only because we haven't had any good males in a while to balance out the females. Can one of the Bleach Boys come through with "That's What Love Is All About." You know, we preach charisma like crazy around here, but dude... have some rhythm and pitch to back it up! The schmoozing, in this case, was what we call compensation. That won't get you anywhere.
Randy: "I'm glad that's over, man. That was painful for me."
Paula: "Your pitch was off."
Simon: "If ever we do American Idol as an ice-dancing musical, you would be perfect."
Meanwhile, we want what Simon's smoking. And speaking of smoking, remember Kim Caldwell lookalike Heather Piccinini? Well, after meeting the real deal, she went into wardrobe and hair to be "officially de-Caldwelled". Too bad they took her vocals with her, because her performance of "New Attitude" was all flash and no meat. Talk about your sensory overload. It was just one meaningless cheesy wail after another, trying to make up for a lackluster arrangement and a really bad song choice.
Randy: "I feel like I've just checked into a hotel, and I glance at the lounge, and there's a band playing. And you're the singer."
Paula: "It was, for me, not the right song to choose."
Simon: "I wouldn't want to be at that hotel. Your problem was that you try too hard. That was a desperate performance."
Moral of the story, want it, but don't look like you want it. Idols don't beg. Next up, the dapper John Stevens, who first wowed us with his admiration for Frankie. But can he keep the magic in a pop performance? Song of choice: "She's Always a Woman to Me." Not a bad performance... but, and again, I have to say it, WRONG SONG! But I dig the charisma. Too bad it's not enough to save what is otherwise an average performance.
Randy: "I was almost falling asleep."
Paula: "I miss the throwback to the Rat Pack."
Simon: "I hope you do well tonight, because to me, you're different."
Well, people listen to the judges, so this one's a mixed bag. So is Jasmine Trias, who wants to bring Hawaii to the rest of the world via hula. This contest is via singing. Since her audition, Jasmine lost the braces and upped the positivity, which can be evident in her performance of "Run to You." Dead on all around. Favorite to win tonight's vote and maybe the whole shebang, but I wish she wouldn't cook some notes that don't need to be cooked.
Randy: "You really do have potential. Choose better songs."
Paula: "I think she handled it like a pro. I think she took twists and turns on a song you're familiar with and you made it your own."
Simon: "You're gonna get a lot of votes, because you're 17, you've got a nice smile, and you've got a flower in your hair. Good enough for me."
Good enough for me, too. Can George Huff follow suit? He has the permanent smile, at least. Last time we saw him, he was too old, getting younger, and then out. Now he's back. We see his instrument in action with "Always and Forever". Good when Clay did it. Started out awkward. But once he hit the chorus, he owned it. Nice pitch, great tone, love the presence. He may get a lot of votes if he tones down the "shouting with tone."
Randy: "You're probably the best male singer in this competition yet."
Paula: "You fell into it and I love your tone."
Simon: "You have a good voice. I don't think you have the charisma to be a star."
Probably one of the best tonight, but will a good voice and a dead-on Randy impersonation get him through? Might. Or it might be Lisa Wilson, the model who hung out with Alan Ritchson in Hollywood and, as a result, was nearly persona non grata in the competition. And with a too-raspy-to-be-anything-but-in-tune "Come to My Window", she may be persona non grata again. Too much power and not much finesse translate into a flat-as-all-get-out persona. She's not even shouting in tune. If she gets voted through, it'll be on two assets. And I don't mean her voice and her charisma.
Randy: "Kinda felt to me like it was out of your range."
Paula: "I did feel like you were screaming. And that became a little grating."
Simon: "I've never seen anyone open her mouth so wide in my life."
And yet you think someone loves you? Lisa, Randy hates you. Paula hates you. Simon hates you. They're the ones guiding the voting public. I don't think you want to be the target of their ire. Getting back to something a little better is Tiara Purifoy. She's grateful for the opportunity to sing "I Wanna Dance with Somebody". Someone sang this earlier in the competition. And they did it better. It was pitchy at times and a little too overblown for my taste. She offers a lot of energy, though. Will that be enough? It's enough for two of the judges.
Randy: "You started really good, but that modulation was ridiculous. You almost had the best performance of the night."
Paula: "One of the strongest vocal performances tonight. Top two. I wouldn't push as hard."
Simon: "I thought it was a complete and utter mess. You are capable of an awful lot better than that."
And once again, Simon agrees with me. But then again, I'm only one man with one phone. Two if you count my cell. If I used my brother's, I'd put in votes for Jasmine (obviously), George, and Suzy, with George squeaking out the poll. But that's just what I think. It's on you, America. RE-sult tomorrow.
And please for the love of God, don't vote through Lisa Wilson.
(Gordon Pepper)
This is a very hectic evening - we get the results of group 4 - and the names of the Wild Card people - and with a 90 minute show next week, there's bound to be more than 9 people performing. We get a quick hi to the judges, a quick hi to the family of Group 4, and a quick hi to gruop 4 themselves. We also get a recap of what happened - and even though they weren't as bad as group 2, they weren't as good as groups 1 and 3. My top 3 are George, Jasmine and Jon, with George and Jasmine getting in.
Jasmine and George are the favorites of Paula and Randy - while Simon likes Jasmine and Jon. By the way, you can be a star in the American Idol music video competition! Whoopie!
Who will be whoopieing their way into the final 3? Not John Preator or Lisa Wilson, but George Huff is in! Lisa Piccinini did not get in, and Tiara is joining her on the outside, looking in. Jasmine, however gets to join George. Either Suzy Vulaca or John Stevens will be advancing, and that person is...Jon Stevens! The person who has a nice voice but who can't remember any lyrics is in the top 3.
Randy now says Jon and Jasmine will win - and Paula agrees, while Simon, who brags that he was right yesterday, will say that he will continue to be right. The first person to go through, with 28%, is Jon Stevens! Simon is as smug as the cat who ate the canary, while Paula and Randy thinks that the cat should eat Simon. Jon doesn't sing nearly as well as he did yesterday, which is good because this is the throwaway performance. Joining Jon will be = Jasmine Trias, and George Huff, as the 33rd singer, will not be able to take advantage of this voting.
Which people will have a chance to not throw away a second opportunity? We get 12 people to audition for the Wildcard Round - and the people who come back are Jennifer Hudson, Leah Labelle, Elizabeth LeTendre, Lisa Leuschner, John Peter Lewis, Matthew Metzger, Eric Yoder, Marque Lynche, Kattie Webber, Tiara Purfroy, George Huff and Suzy Vulaca.
My take? Eh. I like a bunch of them, but they are all in top 32 and it would have been nice to see the judges take a chance and get some new people in there. Maybe it's a chance at redemption, but this group is bordering on Lackluster. They better be able to make the 12 finalists shine when we get to the final stage, because there has just been 2 power singers and a lot of good but not mindblowing efforts, unlike last year, where you had at least 6 people who I thought put phenominal efforts in this section last year.
Maybe the Wild Card round will be different. We'll see next week.
(Chico Alexander)
For those of you who believe that you can never have a second chance to make a first impression, I have two words for you...
Clay Aiken.
He was America's pick for wild card last year, and now, 12 others have a shot at taking his spot on live TV. Wait, TWELVE others? Yeah, that's right. You see, in a twist (there's that word again) from previous incarnations, the producers have brought back twelve others to, in a sense, reaudition for eight spots to be decided upon by the judges, spot on. Now, if I was Gordon watching this, I'd say "Man, this twist sucks!" But we have an hour and a half of Fox time to fill, so I guess we're stuck.
We go back to the 12 auditions, and the first time that the judges take part in the rehearsals. So far, early standouts are Lisa Leuschner (Randy: She reminds me of Kelly Clarkson) and ... well, not much else (Simon: Overall, incredibly disappointed.). In the end, our three heroes are left with six spots full, and six "?"s. They have to keep two of them. One of them may be George Huff, to which Simon smilingly plugs his ears. Hey, smilingly's better than, well... Simon-like. And it is a loud place. The acoustics from what I hear are just... good night.
Bottom line from Cowell: "When the results come in, there's gonna be a few raised eyebrows. Particularly mine."
But enough drama now. It's time to see who'll get to sing tonight. Again, twelve singers, eight spots. Then we sing. Wow. Breaking.
First up, Lisa Leuschner. I liked her, really. Randy and the others... don't. She won't sing tonight.
Next: the over-schmoozing, under-singing Matt Metzger. Paula lets him know that he'll take the mic tonight. Okay, you let him back in, but you ditched Lisa? And where the hell is Scooter Girl?
Next: Marque Lynche. The good singer is more of a stage singer, therefore Simon lets him know that he won't sing.
Next: Katie Webber. The lovely singer-dancer/singer... will sing tonight. And jumps for joy about it. Go Katie.
Next: Jennifer Hudson. A little theatrical, and I wouldn't wish that dress on my worst enemy. But it's the voice that gets her through to the show, as Paula tells her.
Next: George Huff. Simon lets our soul singer know... after the break... And I have to agree with Ryan that Simon doesn't really do that phrase justice. Oh well. Can't win'em all. It takes two and two to let Simon tell him that he's singing tonight.
Next: Elizabeth Letendre. The Katie Webber-lookalike gets another shot thanks to her focus. On what, I don't know, but that's just me.
Next: Leah LaBelle. Paula has no qualms about giving her another shot.
Next: Jon Peter Lewis, whose ink has been honestly tailing off since his initial performance. Simon keeps him, telling him to change his middle name to "Lucky". Rut-roh.
Next: Tiara Purifoy. Last week's walking disaster... walks right on. Randy cuts her.
Which leaves us with Eric "The second coming of Aiken" Yoder and Suzy "BOO-la-tha" Vulaca. Ultimately, the velvet tone is cancelled out by the lack of personality, as Eric is given the hook. Okay, we have the singers, so... a-rooty-toot-toot, and AWAAAAAY WE GO!
First up, Jon Peter. In Group Three, he placed third in the voting, singing "Tiny Dancer". More or less due to his personality. Tonight, he sings the Elvis/Junkie XL version of "A Little Less Conversation". And that sound you hear is the combined force of JXL banging his head on a wall and Elvis rolling in his grave. Pitch and tone are more spot on than usual, but that's where the good ends. Here's a rule: when you're on the Idol stage and you know for a fact that you can't do ________, don't do _________. His quirky dance and charm can't make up for the fact that this was clearly, as Australian Idol's Ian Dickson puts it, "a comedy routine."
Randy: You picked the boldest time to do that dancin'. It's the best time to be bold. You worked it out. I give you props."
Paula: You made everyone in this audience smile. Great way to start the competition.
Simon: I thought the entire performance was horrible.
And the kicker is I was really pulling for this guy. Guess I can pull for one of the twins now. First twin: Elizabeth, also from Group Three. Gave a nice, good, cookie-cutter performance. But this time, she'll throw back to what works, giving "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" another shot. This was the song that put her in Hollywood. It's a little shaky for me, and admittedly, she did it better in her initial audition, but not bad. Not bad at all.
Randy: It was very pitchy in spots, but you covered it well. You ended well.
Paula: You know your range. You have great control.
Simon: The only thing is, you have the "it" factor. I don't see you as a star.
Have to agree. Good singer, but that's about it. Second twin: Katie, who sang "Orange Colored Sky" in Group One, but failed to place in the top three. Can she get "So Emotional" for a comeback? Well, she tries the Jasmine Trias flower-in-her-hair. Flower aside, this one is only as strong as the last personal. A little pitchy and shouty at times, she's basically a good voice in a fancy wrapping. But not really a star. And as an aside, is it me or does she look a little too Britney-ish?
Randy: I'm still not blown away. It was just a'ight for me.
Paula: I think you did much better today than in rehearsal. You gave up mugging for the camera. Your pitch was off, but I like the way you let go of trying too hard.
Simon: You are like Jessica Simpson. She's successful not because she's a good singer, and that's part of the reason why she's a pop star. I thought it was okay.
No, Jessica's a success because she up and got married to the 98 Degrees guy. Maybe if she was married to George from last week, she'd get some credit. Oh well. George's loss on "Always and Forever" last week (he placed third) is America's gain. He warms up quite loudly before taking the stage for "Lean on Me". He definitely goes for the young skew, but I wouldn't go that deep to open ever again. But one of the better performances of the night, simply going on stage presence. Might just've owned it there.
Randy: You remind me of a deacon of my church when I was growing up. You put it down!
Paula: I really enjoyed it. Soulful throwback.
Simon: I think what you have as a huge advantage that people want you to do well. You sum it up what we're looking for.
Not bad at all. He may make it. Okay, halfway down, halfway home. And half of tonight's hair belongs to our next Wild Card hopeful, Suzy. Last week, she failed to chart, mostly on said hair. But she's pulled it back and let it out on "I Will Survive". This is one of those songs that is impossible to mess up. Just ask Cake. She's doing everything right on this one. Hitting the notes, engaging the audience, everything. That's not to say that she's without flaw. I would've ended it better.
Randy: Overall, it was really good. I liked you trying to take some chances to make it your own. This is a growth.
Paula: You made me like this song. You've got power in your voice.
Simon: I think you did very well with that.
Definitely a favorite there. Next up is Matthew, who placed third in Group One thanks to his stage persona more than anything. But you know, you can only take that so far. Not discounting anything, but the voice on the middle third of "When I See You Smile" sounds more like a forced admission of begging, hiding his pitchiness behind a schmaltzy face. In a word: WEAK.
Randy: You started off good, after that it started getting a little rocky. Got to the end, ah, he's back. The consistence performance isn't there.
Paula: I think that you've shown tons of personality. The girls have found an American heartthrob, but I think that if you want to pick rock songs, you're going to have to find a rock edge.
Simon: You tick all the boxes. But for the box that says "star", that's where we have a problem.
Down to two: Leah and Jennifer. Leah's first. She failed to chart as she and Jon Peter were the last two standing on the couches in Group Three. Or sitting. I don't know. Randy's longing for the soulful singer they met in New York. And, after listening to "Let's Stay Together", I'm longing for Scooter Girl again. Shouty and pitchy where it doesn't need to be. And the arrangement didn't do anything for me either.
Randy: That wasn't your best performance, but that was really good.
Paula: I do think this was one of your best performances.
Simon: I thought it was shaky, I thought it was ordinary. For the first time seeing you, I think "So what?".
Two words of death. And Paula, I've heard Mary J. And Leah's no Mary J. Sorry to say. This last person Jennifer might be, though, even though she didn't place in Group One. I wouldn't know what's louder, her voice, her animations, or her dress. But at least the voice, as demonstrated in "I Believe In You and Me", is one that can seriously give people a run for their money in the top 12. Although, and I've said it before, I wouldn't wish her fashion sense on my worst enemy.
Randy: You get the prize for best performance of the night.
Paula: The best thing about your voice is the fact that you have this muscle, and that you convey a story that moves and touched every single one of us.
Simon (after learning that "this man named George, I don't know his last name" made her dress): George, if you're watching or listening, you're fired (Wrong show, dude). Vocally, I've always loved you vocally. You are going to have to learn to control yourself, but well done.
And there you have it, America. The judges' picks for who should be in the top 12. Each judge gets one pick, and America gets the final pick. I honestly don't know what's the mindset of said picks, but I'd say that those four picks would most likely go to George (if, for anything, Randy's pick), Suzy, Leah (if, for anything, Paula's pick), and Jennifer (if, for anything, Simon's pick).
And I'm seven for nine in the GSNN pool, so America, don't let me down. RE-sult (AND Ruben Studdard, the reigning Idol) tomorrow.
(Gordon Pepper)
I have to tell you something - I saw the Wild Card selection last night and I was NOT happy with how they ran it. For starters, to bring people back and then cut 4 of them out is not only crushing for the singers, but it's lame - especially if you tune in just to listen to the singers who don't get any time.
I have had friends talk to me about 2 different scenarios. The first one was that the people who the judges didn't select weren't selected because they will be the people who will be selected to go on to the finals. I think that would make sense - EXCEPT that they cut 4 people, which means that one of them (unless they increased the Wild Card to allow 5 people instead of 4) will be on the outside looking in - so I'm guessing that all 4 people who aren't singing are indeed cut. That and the fact that Ryan has consistantly said throughout the episode that those 4 were getting cut may be a hint here.
Adding insult to injury was the fact the three of the eliminated - Tiara, Lisa and Eric - had to sit there and not only watch them perform, but have the judges talk to them about it like it's going to help them in the competition - which it won't if they are cut. I don't blame Marque for not being there and having to sit through that - unless the reason why the three were there is because they are in the finals and they don't know it yet. Of course, that would also mean that American Idol was lying when Ryan said that those four were cut - but then again, American Idol has not always been truthful in the past - such as the difference between the voting between Clay and Reuben in the finals being around 1,300 votes - give or take 130,000 votes...
The other idea that people had was that they had to cut 4 people because American Idol could only be 90 minutes long. My reaction? You have got to be kidding me. If American Idol asked FOX to give them 3 hours and leave the last hour for a concert featuring William Hung, Edgar and Ricky in a duet and Martha Krabill, FOX would turn around and say 'sure - can we repeat that tomorrow night and pre-empt The OC?'
Last night, we had our Top 8 perform, and my 4, (assuming that the people the judges cut out are indeed cut out), are George, Jennifer, Leah and John the pelvis shaker. Ryan starts and says that of the 8 people there, only 4 of them get to to on - which means that the other 4 are indeed cut. That doesn't mean that the judges can't pick someone out of the 4 people who didn't perform last night and I would not be surprised if someone - probably Simon - picked from one of them.
Ryan introduces us to the 8 singers, the three judges, and the friends and family - and the one hour recap. We talk to Matt, who's been friends with Clay - and Clay told him to relax and sing. Too bad he hasn't been listening. Jennifer still likes her dress, regardless of what Simon said, and Jon Peter Lewis says that the pelvis waving from yesterday was part of one of his facets. Suzy defended her song of choice (I wil Survive) while Katie thinks that it was tough to see her friends eliminated the way that they were.
Why are the people torturing themselves for this? Because of the next act - Reuben Studdard, who has already sold 2 million copies of 'Soulful' and who is performing 'I'm Sorry - 2004'. He was pitchy to start - maybe it's all of that energy - but he does coe through and sings it well. Ryan goes to the judges - Randy says it was hot, Paula says 'Touchdown'. Simon? 'I will pay you to re-enter'. Based on what I've heard so far this season, I don't think that Simon is kidding.
Reuben is happy about the winning the grand prize and he equates this to a job - and he likes the money - as well as the NAACP Image Award that he received. Reuben now faces the Wild Card people. Jennifer asks what to expect in the finals - and Reuben says to expect to work, as this is a daily job. Leah asks if he leeps in contact with anyone - and Reuben says Clay, Kimberley, and Ricky SMith - who pops out of the audience and says hi.
Enough frivolity - it's time to start cutting more people. Ryan recaps what all of the judges have said about all of the contestants - and then we get to see who the judges picked. After a reminder that we can make our own video and win a car, we will see who Randy Jackson picked. Randy didn't think that anyone was unbelievable, so it was a hard choice. He has chosen...Jennifer Hudson, bad wardrobe and all. She is happy, and Paula and Simon agrees - while Simon says that she needs a better stylist. Jennifer reprises her song from yesterday.
Next up is Paula, who wants to put all of them in. Well, that would make a show that lasts through the Summer, and FOX may need that for ratings purposes, but I digress. Pauls decides to select...Leah LaBelle. Leah thanks the lord as her mom looks on. Randy likes the choice - but Simon should think that Leah is lucky that she has a fairy grandmother in Paula. Simon may be right - Leah is awful in her reprise - but then again, she's probably too emotional to sing right now. She better clean it up next week...
Simon says that he didn't sleep at all, and he based his decision on who he thought the audience wanted to see. Simon picked....George. Whoa. That was a surprise to me, for 2 reasons - 1. SIMON picking him? and 2. That means that he didn't win the popular vote, which surprises me. George grovels to SImon, and he is trying to sing without crying. He does a very capable Lean On Me, and the audience goes nuts. Simon, once again, may be right on a prediction.
That leaves one slot left - and it's based on who the audience wanted. We know the audiece wanted Diane DeGarmo, Fantasia Barrino, Camille Velasco, Matt Rogers, Amy Adams, Latoya London, Jasmine Trias and John Stevens previously, as they are all back to see who the 12th and final person would be. John says that he was intercepted by around 40 kids at a hockey game, while Amy talks about her pink hair and how she gets interrupted during dinner. 'I'm not mad - just hungry'. Diana is embarrassed that the local media is getting performances from her when she was younger, and Jasmine will be sticking a different flower in her haid every week. Matt's having a ball and he misses Simon. We'll see if that sentiment is there for next month...
The last spot for the American Idol Top 12 goes to...with 22% of the vote...Jon Peter Lewis! The gyrations did indeed pay off - and he could go far if he keeps the same strategy. The judges agreed with America - but Paula wants more personality and fun from him and SImon still thought he was horrible - but brave for taking the chance. Jon Peter reprises his gyration and drunken dancing and we are out of here.
My take? I can't help but think that this talent is not as good as last years - and I can't help but think that the producers, who knew that, decided to try to cover it by A. showcasing a lot of inferior talent in most of the introductories and specials to show what exactly they had to choose from and B. adding a lot of drama which was both needless and a pointed 'screw you - we just needed you for the ratings' to the eliminated people. I've never any sort of talent outside of The Gong Show be discarded so flippantly as I have this season - and that gives me a bad taste in my mouth as we progress into the Final Round of 12.
As for those 12, the only women who I really like is LaToya London and the only guys who I like is Matt Rogers and George Huff - and that's mostly on their personality. I'm sensing a Latoya/Fantasia showdown to end it - and that really doesn't get me excited.
The Bottom Line - Am I going to be watching the finals? Of course. Is this as good as last year's crop? Not even close. I hope that they step up their game or else we're going to get comparisons all season long. We'll see if they can indeed Step Up next week, when Chico gives us the scoop and his opinion.
(Chico Alexander)
Once again, here are your idols:
Fantasia Barrino; 19; High Point, NC
Diana Degarmo; 16; Snellville, GA
Camile Velasco; 18; Haiku, HI
Matt Rogers; 25; Covina, CA
La Toya London; 24; Oakland, CA
Amy Adams; 24; Bakersfield, CA
John Stevens; 16; East Amherst, NY
Jasmine Trias; 17; Mililani, HI
Jennifer Hudson; 22; Chicago
Leah LaBelle; 17; Seattle
George Huff; 23; New Orleans
Jon Peter Lewis; 24; Rexburg, ID
One by one, they'll sing. One by one they'll be judged. One by one, we'll vote. And one by one they'll leave, until there is only one... the next American Idol.
We bring out the upgraded live spaceship set from last year's show, as we bring out the first of our final 12, La Toya. Also, we find out how Fox has managed to elongate an hourlong show into two hours, as I leave to get a sandwich in the beginning of her hometown package, come back, and we're on the same package. What we do know is that La Toya's the baby girl of two brothers. Her wedding band, All-Star Jukebox, is watching as she sings Chaka's "Ain't Nobody". And let me tell you, I couldn't think of any better way to start the show. Well, I could, but that isn't allowed on TV. Of course, it was a little shaky here and there, but she does a great job of covering it up.
Randy: This is the night of singers. That was hot! I love you showing your personality. This is going to be a hot night!
Paula: You are a star! I have a feeling you're going to be around this competition for a while.
Simon: I don't know where you go from here. It's such an amazing first performance. It was awesome. Awesome!
Wow. Simon said "awesome". Hoping to follow up on that vibe is Amy of the ginormous Bakersfield sign. The makeup artist gets some final hints on her face before singing "You Make Me Feel Brand New". Here we have a good singer overreaching her bounds to start. This was written for a guy with a high falsetto (raises hand). And she struggles. Whether or not that will cost her in the end, I don't know, because the rest of the song wasn't that bad, really. It was just a good song sung by a good singer is all.
Randy: I thought the performance was good. It wasn't unbelievable. You're probably a little nervous. But I thought it was alright.
Paula: You're a goofball with a nice pretty voice. It was a safe performance.
Simon: I thought it was boring, if I'm being honest.
And Amy caps it with a veiled beg. Not good. Moving on to Matt Rogers, and surprisingly, this is not his first TV appearance. The FremantleMedia hierarchy at work, we managed to snag a clip of the former footballer on the Louie Anderson Feud, I'm guessing second, maybe third season. Matt was a team captain, and heading for "Before They Were Stars"-dom. But first, he has to survive "Hard to Handle" from Otis Redding/the Black Crowes. Ladies and gentlemen, this year's Joshua Gracin. He's there pitchwise to start, and he's a pro at engaging the audience, but he's getting winded. Matt, breathing is your friend! The sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be. But song choice, definitely up there.
Randy: That was the best performance I saw you give. The vocals were alright.
Paula: I love the fact that you're having fun up on stage. I think you're going to go forward, because you picked the right song!
Simon: With the exception of Ryan Seacrest, I don't think I've ever met anyone who's more happy to be on TV in my life. If I'm being honest, it was a second-rate Tom Jones performance.
From second-rate Tom Jones, we go to third-string Lauryn Hill, as the Filipino-Irish-Spaniard Camile who wakes up late and snores before serving your IHOP pancakes. She serves up "Son of a Preacher Man". Sounds like a struggle. Looks like a struggle. If it looks like a struggle, and it sounds like a struggle, then it's clearly a struggle. Little bit of logic there.
Randy: I still like the sound of your voice. I think there's "wow" in you, but I didn't hear it tonight, yo.
Paula: We loved your voice. That vibe is not coming out tonight. It's all about having fun now.
Simon: She's not nervous, she's petrified! It's all about self-belief. [La Toya] has it, you don't. Until you start believing that you deserve to be there, you'll fail in this competition.
And speaking of self-belief, the guy that can get away with dancing is next, as Jon Peter takes the stage. The military brat falls in with the Dobie Gray-Uncle Kracker yarn, "Drift Away". He's got the tone down, really. Until he starts gyrating again. And this guy's a good singer, really. But he has the same problem that Matt had, and that's forgetting that he has to breathe if he wants to sing. Could be a danger if he learns that faster than Matt does.
Randy: This was a lot better. This was more really who you are, because you can sing. You just need to cut down on the dancing, dude.
Paula: Hold back on the dancing, you're spoiling us. America loves you.
Simon: Yes, you dance like your father. Jon, you are the dark horse to win this competition.
So the judges are in agreement that this is a singing competition and not a dancing one. Good. And did I hear the words "dark horse?" You remember the last dark horse, right (See Nilsen, Kurt, the reigning World Idol)? Next up, High Point's Fantasia. She's got a large family, and all of them are watching her sing Stevie's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered." Definitely one of the edgier performances of the night. She injects herself into this one and it just shows. Really good stuff there.
Randy: You brought it down tonight, man. That was HOT! You're like a young Aretha.
Paula: You own the stage. You brought it.
Simon: Fantasia, you're the real thing.
Don't know if that was a Coke plug or an honest assessment, but she'll take it. And we'll take omelet chef George from N'walin with the newly shaven moustache. The vertical hold boy and Idol fan of the season takes on "Dock of the Bay", another Otis favorite. Playing to the camera and justifying it with a stellar tone, he gets my vote for best performance of the night.
Randy: You're like a seasoned veteran already. The best we've seen you yet.
Paula: You're infectious! The best tonight!
Simon: I don't think you are aware of how good you really are. Very very good.
Agreed. Next on the list, Jennifer from the south side of Chi-town. Her sister agrees with Simon and me that the pink dress from the wild card show wasn't happening. She sings Aretha's "Baby I Love You". She has the attitude and the inflection, but one thing she doesn't have at times is the pitch. Could be a problem later, especially if there's a split on the judges' table, because, as you know, America listens to the judges. Well, two of them, anyway.
Randy: I love that performance. This is the best top 12, I don't care what anyone says.
Paula: You are unbelievable. Another amazing performance, and I like this one better because it's a little more subdued.
Simon: Bad choice of song. I think we're beginning to hear a lot of oversinging. It's going to become boring. You're very good, but I thought I heard a lot of oversinging.
Again, I have to agree. Okay, no more oversinging. Instead, we have undersinging, courtesy of John Stevens. The incredibly tall baby of the family, he goes for another Stevie tune, "Lately". He injects the Rat Pack into it. Definitely going from strength to strength, but I'm starting to think that he's a one-trick pony. This is going to get boring fast. Sorry, Conan.
Randy: So the first test, soul week... For me, it didn't pass. I was bored to tears.
Paula: You gave a classy performance.
Simon: John, I'm going to agree... with... Paula. No question or doubt, you are the real, unique artist. This guy is middle America, and I'm glad you're here because you're different.
Another judge fight ensues and this one's split. And if you're taking count at home, this is water glass spill #2. Next up, Leah from Seattle, whose parents defected from Bulgaria. Hopefully she won't defect from a good performance of "Keep Me Hanging On." Unfortunately, she does. Nice voice, but weak and breathy with no control. She doesn't own the performance like she should, and if she's around next week, I'll be surprised.
Randy: Wasn't your best performance and you know it.
Paula: This is a time where you can't give up hope. You're a little bit under on your pitch.
Simon: Leah, I'd pack your suitcase. I think she's going to go tonight.
I think she's going to go tonight as well. Hula girl and surfer chick Jasmine's next. She's good at ripping tides, but can that flower in her hair bring her luck on "Inseparable"? I'd like to say so. She's strong despite her age. A little flat here and there, but she picked a good song and rode it out as such. I liked it.
Randy: At 17, you started out a little rocky. You can really sing. This is what this competition is about.
Paula: My favorite performance tonight. Such a mature voice and a beautiful spirit.
Simon: Jasmine, it was just superb. You are in the minority of people who could really really be good in the future as well.
One more idol to go, and that's Diana from Snellville, "where everybody's somebody". Words to live by, but will be somebody on the Idol stage with "Think"? You have to admire her attitude and song choice. Even if it started out rocky, she grew into it and made it her own. I honestly can't wait to see where she goes from here, because she's definitely got potential.
Randy: That was incredible. That was dope, dude. I don't care who says what, this was the best top 12 ever, Mr. Cowell.
Paula: It's effortless. Such a pure tone to your voice.
Simon: Diana, you are like a big doll, aren't you? I didn't feel touched. You have a good voice.
And with that, it looks like the season that almost wasn't is again. But it's early, room for growth all around, and every vote matters. We'll count'em up... well, we won't. Fox has professional beancounters for that. But we'll tell you what they add up to tomorrow. And because apparently Fox has all the time in the world to burn, we'll throw in a free Clay Aiken performance.
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Chico's Idol Chart after one round (or: Dammit, this was hard!)
1 - George
2 - La Toya (narrowly)
3 - Fantasia
4 - Jasmine
5 - Jon Peter (once he gets the dancing out of his system... or at least not try so hard)
6 - Diana
7 - Matt
8 - Jennifer
9 - John
10 - Amy
11 - Camile
12 - Leah
Disclaimer: Idol Charts are based on the opinions of the GSNN editors and are compiled before the votes are tallied and the result made public.
(Gordon Pepper)
Well, since Chico did a chart, I will have to do a chart of my own -
Gordon's Idol Chart after one round (or: This wasn't as hard as Chico's)
1 - LaToya
2 - George
3 - Matt
4 - Diana
5 - Fantasia
6 - Jon Peter
7 - Jennifer
8 - Amy
9 - Jasmine
10 - John
11 - Camile
12 - Leah
Disclaimer: Idol Charts are based on the opinions of the GSNN editors and are compiled before the votes are tallied and the result made public.
That's my opinion - and I can't wait to see the hate e-mail that I get. In terms of chaos theory, the first person who will go will be a female who doesn't have a strong fan base who got blasted by the judges. All fingers are pointing to Leah, but could her fan base rescue her?
We'll find out as we start the 60 minute (and space-filler o'licious) show of American Idol - and we'll start if with Ryan thanking everyone for making American Idol Tuesday the highest rated night ever for FOX - and we have over 18 million votes. But with the voting, there is a dark side, according to Mr. Seacrest. 'Someone's going to take the Gary Coleman ride to nowheresville - and it's all your fault.' Ouch.
After Ryan introduces us to the judges, contestants and live recap of the voiceovers, we talk to the potential contestants. John Stevens has no clue how to get Randy to like him - and Randy says to raise his game, which gets the audience to boo him. Jennifer says that her fashion consultant is coming for Simon, and George, who looks considerably younger, says that he shaved off his moustache because he wants to win.
Jon Peter Lewis talks about being dressed up like a banana - which we see him in as we waste some time with their first music video - Fame. Now this was one of the ideas that they brought from American Juniors - and that idea should have stayed there. That was terrible and I dread the fact that we have to see 10 more of these rotten videos.
We do get their first group montage - which is equally awful. From John Stevens mangling the first line and screwing up the choreography to no one being even and on pitch, the singers were just not on point tonight. The women were just as bad and this is not a good start in terms of the singing. Blech. In terms of ratings, this was better than the Fame medley (which isn't that hard) but worse than the Star Search finale (which wasn't that wonderful). Hopefully they will get better when they have more experience - and less singers involved.
We get more space filler as we see a montage of them enjoying the house - and it was cute as they act all silly. It's these moments that are fun because you can actually car about the contestants. These are the things that will have us liking the people - not shots of singers arguing with each other, which will only turn people off and stop them from voting.
Mr. Seacrest goes over to talk to Jason Bateman, who plugs his own show on FOX - Arrested Development' - right up next. Who else is in the house? Clay AIken, who sings 'Solitaire' live to the throng of the screaming audience. He sings it very Broadway-esque, which is his style, as we get an abridged version of the song. The song itself is nice and you can see how Clay came that close to winning the whole. Is it just me, or is he positioning himself to be a young Barry Manilow? He admits that he was a little nervous, but the thought of selling 2.4 million albums makes him feel better.
The contestants have questions to ask Clay. Matt asks how to deal with Stress and Simon - and Clay tells him to keep focused on being in on the Grand Finale - and not allow outside factors - ie. Simon - to take over. Fantasia asks how things have changed - he says that they have, since not many things go on in North Carolina - and he's grateful to have the opportunity to make these things happen.
But there will be one less person to make things happen as we get to the bottom three calling. Diana...is safe. LaToya...is safe. Jon Peter...is safe. Leah...is not safe and she goes down to the bottom three. John Stevens is...safe (yik). Adding to the Yik factor is Simon playing with Paula's hair in the background - and Paula doesn't realize it. YIK! Fantasia is...also safe. YIIIK! Not Yik is George Huff...and he is also safe. Matt...is safe. Jasmine is....safe. Amy is...not safe (well, she had to be, there were only three people left - and she is in the bottom three. Joining her is...Jennifer Hudson as Camille is safe.
Ryan asks the three people on what it's like. Jennifer says she's just happy to be here, Amy says that she's acting like she's calm and Leah says that she has no words. What do the judges think? Randy says that he's shocked that Jennifer is there, Paula says that Jen and Amy need to do a better song selection, while Simon says that he isn't surprised - and he says that is does sound different on tv than it does live and that everyone has to realize that.
Going back to the singers, the lady who is safe is...Amy Adams, as she goes back to her seat. Leah and Jennifer sing one last round of songs, and based on the performances, I don't see how Leah got more votes then Jennifer. It turns out that she didn't - Leah is the first person eliminated from American Idol. She thanks her mom and her friends, and then she leaves.
I think that Paula may have done Leah a bit of injustice by selecting her as a wild card performer. I think with one or two more years, Leah could have been a powerful contender - but I think she came out too early and she paid the price for it, as she was just blown away by the more mature voices.
Thus ends the first week of the finals. Chico will be back on Tuesday as we get to the second week.
I still say someone should've done "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo," but I digress. "I lost count and started counting again..."
AMERICAN IDOL 3: Session 22 - "Finals Round 2: Country"
Before today's show, I must admit something. I'm not big on country. I've NEVER been big on country. And after tonight, I fear that you'll know why. Either that or I'll be... moderately big on country. We'll see. First off, a wish for speedy recovery to a true American Idol, Aretha Franklin. Our wishes as well. After welcoming the Idols, the Man in Black, the Darlin', and Bling Bling Jackson, we have our subtheme, the Idols as kids. I'll tell you right now, expect many "ooooh-s/he's-so-cuuuuute" moments. Like this one from Diana DeGarmo, who has been singing since she was five. She's become the "National Anthem Girl" in Snellville, but can she fly on Martina McBride's "A Broken Wing"? Her wings of a perfect stage presence and a note that shook the heavens (read: one held for more than five seconds flawlessly. TM Chico Alexander, 2004) are clipped by pitchiness here and there. But still, pretty nice start.
Randy: I think this is the best performance she's had so far. That was incredible!
Paula: I can't picture you doing anything else.
Simon: Definitely a style that suits you. My only slight worry is that you were like a product of a pop farm. It's very effortless, but you're not yet connecting with the audience.
Have to agree with the Man in Black on this one, even as a judge fight ensues. I mean, it's really good, but it seems like it's stereotypically good. Speaking of which, in the audience today is Steve Young of the 49ers. "It's all about harnessing the creative tension in the performance." Words to live by, really. Let's see what George Huff can do with them. He grew up in the projects, but was able to find a place of peace in his church music and in college, where he played in an opera that made him look like Hercule Poirot. His song: The John Michael Montgomery/All-4-One tune "I Can Love You Like That." Like last week, he had to grow into the role of singer. But once he does, look out. Another note that shook the heavens caps a fitting performance.
Randy: It was good. I liked it, but I didn't feel the energy of the George I liked before.
Paula: You have the sexiest voice ever.
Simon: You have a connection. That is a connection. At the moment, you look like you're totally in the hands of the stylists.
Judge fight ensues. End result: George = Ruben + help from the wardrobe department. Fantasia Barrino's next, and we see her performing in a gospel choir, which could explain a few things if you've ever seen a) Fantasia perform and b) a gospel choir up close. She hopes that she's "Always On My Mind". Doesn't sound like Willie or Elvis, but in some ways, that's a good thing. She puts herself in the performance, but, and I wouldn't say this if it wasn't a personal issue, but it's becoming too nasal and whiny. But good presence, I must say.
Randy: You proven that you could do a controlled performance. You probably could sing anything.
Paula: I love the fact that you gave a more subdued performance. It was so classy. I like the way you are now.
Simon: You've proven tonight that you are not a one-trick pony, but my problem is that I hope that this doesn't continue, because you're not a middle-aged singer. You are young and fun and different and perky.
Fantasia: Simon, YOU DON'T KNOW CLASS!
See what I mean? A pure whine. And here we go again with another judge fight, and... my God is that a middle finger? FCC, Simon! Retract that claw. But at least they love her getting down with the get down. And so do we. She just has to cut out the nasality is all. And I then push the fast forward on my DVR to skip over the adverts and the Simon/Paula clip form the season two finale. Shudder, is what I say to that. And speaking of which, John Stevens is next. We see him back when he was just plain "Carrot Top". The name had since been trademarked by, well, someone else, but John's the "King of the Road" tonight. Again, he goes from strength to strength (when you have one strength, it's not that hard). But tonight, he went from weakness to weakness, forgetting one of his lines. But he covers for it. Will it be enough to save him? Not, but he schmoozes. He schmoozes!
Randy: Even though you forgot the words tonight, I must say I enjoyed you tonight for the first time. Perfect song. Even though you forgot the words.
Paula: You covered it very nicely. You're becoming more seasoned each week.
Simon: On the bright side, you only forgot the words in front of 30 million people. I actually think you're great. On the slightly negative side, you are going to have to learn to get your personality over.
That, and he's starting to wear thin with his shtick here. Camile Velasco and her shtick are next. She's the first born and a Navy brat. The Eagles get the Idol treatment on "Desperado"... which could describe Camile's performance style. She tries to power her way through so obviously that you can see it on her face AGAIN. Even with her otherwise good presence, I'm going to have to pass on this one.
Randy: It was alright for me. It's all very jerky. I know you were trying to make it your own, but I just didn't get it.
Paula: I love your voice, and I see the soulfulness coming back. You did a great job.
Simon: I've got a horrible feeling that that's going to sound out of tune (C-Note: justified). I honestly think your nerves are going to be your biggest problem in this competition.
No judge fight. In fact, a consensus. Camile, you're your own worst enemy. Those nerves will be the end of you. And it's the end of this act, as Steven Cojocaru stops in for a style makeover/Old Navy plug. Going over to the formerly small Jennifer Hudson, who would eat but not gain a pound. She gained it all in high school, but lost it in time for the competition. Looking good, really. "No One Else on Earth" by Wynonna... Sounding good, really. Put her own swang on it once she got the jitters out, and there were jitters. Definitely the best I've seen her this competition. And the way she works the crowd could definitely keep her out of the danger zone this week, even as she sours the end. And parts of the middle.
Randy: Overall, I thought it was a good performance.
Paula: You need to get your personality back again. I thought you were holding back a bit. I thought the real Jennifer wasn't shining through.
Jennifer: I got funk. I got style. I got attitude. I can give you whatever you want.
Simon: I think you're out of your depth in this competition.
Yeah, she is one of the better singers, but she's is only ONE of the better singers. She can sing, but she's got to beat about three or four others. Another ONE of the better singers (in terms of this competition) is the man they call JPL, Jon Peter Lewis. "I didn't do anything sweet when I was a kid." Very direct, this middle child is. He sings Kenny Rogers' "She Believes in Me". Not the power performance we're used to, but at least he's not dancing. And he's not tiring. I don't think. It's a good song, but I would've changed the arrangement or done something with it or something. But still, not bad. Just not as dead-on as we're used to. And if you get past the dancing, yes, he's dead on to a point.
Randy: You know what's really weird, you're not being your funny self, and the vocal wasn't really there.
Paula: I thought it was pleasant. Kind of safe. You need to lay off the mic a bit when you're going for the power note, but all in all, good performance.
Simon: You have an odd voice, but America seems to have fallen in love with you.
Listening to you sing, I'm puzzled. You look like the guy from the Waltons. You know, John Boy? And that's why part of the reason you're going to get a lot of votes.
Reminds me of one Clay Aiken, really. Jasmine Trias, a native Hawaiian by birth, got her start in singing by... crying. She learned the piano, the ukulele, and the voice (not in that order). Hopefully, she also learned how to "Breathe" a la Faith Hill. Very classy looking, but off-pitch and off-tone in more than one crucial point. In the chorus alone. Song choice notwithstanding, though, her personality just glows. It's almost amazing to watch, albeit a little painful to listen to.
Randy: You look beautiful tonight, but I don't think that was your best performance. It just didn't quite connect with me.
Paula: It was pitchy, but having said that, you've had so many strong performances that this isn't going to hurt you one ounce.
Simon: Nothing much I need to add, really. It's very mumsy, dadsy, very sweet.
It's just becoming a little bit boring.
Come on, man. Be kind. "I like puppies." Okay, that's a start. Big man Matt Rogers is next, and believe it or not, he used to be a small fat kid with a slight "R" problem. He's close to Tim, his big brother. In fact, he's "Amazed" (Lonestar). Good someone is, because again, it's a song choice that any sane singer wouldn't have really made given the circumstances. He tries to make the best of a bad situation, and it really shows. Just not in a good or bad way. Still, not as bad as it could be, but damn pitchy.
Randy: I like that, man. It's one of your better vocals. I still don't know if I would look at you and say, like Cowell would say, the American Idol, but you definitely got the American Idol personality.
Paula: I think it's good you're in touch with your female energy, because that's what makes him a well-rounded performer. You're more subdued and I like that.
Matt: Hi, dad!
Simon: I think you're a fun guy, a nice guy, but from the beginning where you had that terrible smile like you were singing at some ghastly children's party!
It was just nauseating!
The judges agree that this is becoming safe night. Oh gosh have we lost the season so soon after we got it back. Simon and Matt trade "I love yous" and we're going forward. Ryan's in the audience with second season Idoler Josh Gracin, whose single, "I Wanna Live", is blowing up on country radio right now. His album's due out June 15, and I believe that would make him the fourth season two vet to have an album behind Ruben (obviously), Clay, and Kimberley Locke. If you remember, he sang at last year's country show, Garth Brooks' "Ain't Going Down 'til the Sun Comes Up". And that's exactly what La Toya London sings. Tomboy as a kid, she shows that some habits can be harnessed for just the right moment. Enter the right moment... NOW. She does it better than Josh did it last year, and that's pretty hard to accomplish. Very nice playing to the crowd, and the stuff that she can do with stiletto heels is amazing. And somewhere between all that, note that shook the heavens #3. And all I have to say is "Final-fricking-ly, a risk taker."
Randy: Another incredible performance tonight.
Paula: That was the most fun performance of the evening tonight. You are on fire.
Simon: That's what I've been waiting for. You took a risk and it worked. Fantastic!
And was Simon clapping? I think that's worth a few thousand votes in and of itself there. Before we get to the final performance, here's a clip of the Idols at a country bar flaunting their dance moves... or absence there of. Hero button time! *pushes button, Marie Del Giorgio, dance instructor, appears*. She teaches the line dances to our group, who has to rely on Fantasia's pipes to call expert wardrobist Miles ("As luck would have it, I collect cowboy boots."). Okay, less dancy, more singy. Final performance is Amy Adams. She had always loved music, or "oogits" as she would call it. The goofball is back as she lays down the Dixie Chicks' "Sin Wagon". A bit rocky to start, but definintely in her element in all aspects. Not the best of the night, but damn near close. To say that it should be enough to avoid the red zone for another week would be an understatement at this point.
Randy: As a former A&R guy, this is your style of music! This is the best performance you've ever given!
Paula: You're so in the pocket. It proves who you are as a person. You could release this song right now, and it would go to #1 on the country charts (C-Note: I don't think Josh is happy with that).
Simon: I don't understand this kind of music and I hated the song. I just don't get, but yeah, it was... umm... yeah. Honestly for once, I haven't got a clue what to say.
Silencer, baby! SILENCER! 1000 points! Another risk taker, another good choice, and another fine performance to cap your night of country music. Votes are tallied all night and into the morning if we have to. Next time, Gordon has the RE-sult, and someone's riding into the sunset. I don't know who, but I have a good idea...
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Chico's Idol Chart - Country (or: "After the Finger of Death Mix, Part Two"!)
1 - La Toya (once again, top of her game)
2 - Amy (in her element)
3 - George (again, had to grow into the role)
4 - Fantasia
5 - Jennifer (shaky to start, but workable)
6 - Jon Peter (also shaky, but down with the ladies)
7 - John
8 - Diana (a little pitchy)
9 - Jasmine (a little more pitchy)
10 - Matt (still a little more pitchy and bland)
11 - Camile (shaky to start, and to end. The middle, that's good)
After two rounds:
1 - La Toya (23)
2 - George (22)
3 - Fantasia (19)
4 - Jon Peter (15)
5 - Amy (14)
6 (tie) - Jasmine and Jennifer (13)
8 - Diana (12)
9 - John (10)
10 - Matt (9)
11 - Camile (4)
Disclaimer: Idol Charts are based on the opinions of the GSNN editors and are compiled before the votes are tallied and the result made public.
Here is my AI chart - again brought out before seeing the results -
1 - LaToya
2 - George
3 - Diana
4 - Jon Peter
5 - Fantasia
6 - Matt
7 - Jennifer
8 - Amy
9 - Jasmine
10 - John
11 - Camile
Not a heck of a lot of change here. Matt slips down because it's obviously not his forte, but everyone else stays the same and Fantasia slips down due to her hissy fit with Simon. Camille was once again awful and she should be going - but maybe the red-hared Mr Stevens will be joining her.
But now that we know a little about the voting, let's talk chaos theory. Everyone knows that Camille and Jennifer are both on the bubble - which means that the fans will be coming out in droves. They will probably not be going home. The question is - who gets to go in their place?
After some more gratification and a recap, we get a quick concert by Kimberley Locke, who sings '8th World Wonder'. If I remember correctly, both me and Chico predicted that Kimberley, Reuben and Clay would all have #1 hits. Message accomplished, as Kimberley's single debuts at #1. After a cute trip through the judges (in which Simon says that she could make it to next week), Kimberley thanks the fans and implores them to buy her album 'One Love'.
Enough of the pleasantries. John Stevens, the man who mangled his words...is safe. This is not looking good already and I am wondering what the audience was drinking when they were voting. My confidence is better when Fantasia is safe - but then takes a u-turn when Matt Rogers find themselves in the Bottom Three.
George is safe. Jasmine, who was awful along with Camile, is safe - and so is the over-gyrating John Peter Lewis. The awful Camile...is in the bottom three and she may as well be packing and joining Leah. Diana or Amy will be joining her, and that person is...Diana. What were you guys on?
Time to hear from the judges. Paula is very surprised and didn't expect Diana or Matt there - but tells Camile that she needs to be more excited. Simon wasn't surprised and said that Matt chose the wrong song. Being able to rectify her mistakes for next week is Diana, as she is safe. That leaves Matt and Camile. Either everyone thought that Camile was awful and she's gone, or Hawaii knew that Camile was awful, so they called up like crazy and Matt, with the supposedly 'safe' performance, got caught in the backdraft.
The person who's going home is.....Matt Rogers.
The Chaos Theory has claimed it's first victim.
So what happened? Well, everyone has their favorites - and people will vote for the person in danger, which means that if you turn in a performance that people think is 'safe', and you don't have the fan base, then you may be in trouble. For Matt it may be that - and the fact that he threatened to squished SImon's head like a grape. Matt realizes this, and changes the lyrics to loving Simon before he leaves. That's a lesson that he learned a little bit too late.
So who's next? Well, Camille should be safe, as should Diana, as their fans will be calling off the hook for them. Fantasia, George and Latoya must have their fan bases - and I don't think that the men are in danger yet - just simply because John Stevens should have been in the bottom three and he isn't. That leaves Jennifer, Jasmine and Amy. Based on prior performances, it will between Jasmine and Amy next week to see which one is toast, and I think that Jasmine is a very edible spread...
It's been called the city on the move. Its sound is legendary in Americana. Michael McDonald paid tribute with a cover album. And now, our ten remaining Idols will be covering today's theme, Motown, with some help of course. And by some help, I only mean the creators of the Motown Sound. You hear a classic Motown song, you've heard these guys. Motown's legendary backing group, the Funk Brothers, are in the house, as are this season's first guest judges, singers/songwriters Nick Ashford and Valerie Simpson, or, commonly, Ashford & Simpson.
But will we hear the next coming of Ashford & Simpson, or will we just pop in a DVD of "The Simpsons"? First one out of the gate is Camile Velasco with the Tony Bennett (yes, Tony Bennett) tune more famously covered by Stevie Wonder, "For Once in My Life". And for once in my life, I'm seeing Camile get down with the get down. Sounds a lot better than what we're used to (of course, that isn't saying much), but still has that little face grasping problem. But hey, a small step is still a step. Okay start, but not great.
Randy: You had a rough ending. Very pitchy, but a good song choice.
Paula: Randy, you have wax in your ears tonight. Carmen, err... Camile, it's you. You're having your best performance.
Nick: I love your voice. I love your energy. I love your eyes; they pulled me into it.
Simon: Average, Camile. Not good enough. You just didn't raise the bar.
Song choices. Camile knows we're getting into that stage. Now onto Jon Peter Lewis, singing Isley Brothers' "This Old Heart of Mine". Not even a good song choice here. As much as I like the guy, and as much as he works the stage, it's not the consistent JPL we're used to. At least at the start and the end, but he nails the chorus dead on. I would've picked a better song, though.
Randy: Like the energy, you got a good personality. The voice let you down. The voice was not kickin' tonight.
Paula: JPL, I think you're in the pocket tonight. I think you had fun. I think your pitch was better than it was last week.
Valerie: I'm definitely with Paula. You did your thing. You served it up.
Simon: If I'm being honest, it was awkward. To me it was an amateur-ish performance of a very good song.
Have to agree with the boys here. La Toya London sings the Miracles' "Ooh Baby Baby" next on. We all know how good La Toya is, really. She's a mite pitchy on one point. First chorus. Beginning. But that's it. Apart from that, she delivers somewhat of a La Toya-lite. Good, but not as good as we've seen in the past. Still the one to beat in my eyes, though.
Randy: I don't know what's going on with the hair. You started kinda rough, but you brought it home in the end.
Paula: You can do no wrong. You're beautiful.
Nick: Knowing what a powerful voice you have, I think the way you cooled it down into that nice sex appeal, I thought it was beautiful
Simon: You sounded great. You controlled it well. I do, however, agree with Randy about the hair. It looks like you have a cat on your head.
What about the hair? I like it. I think it suits her. Now go change it. Heh. We're back with Amy Adams, "Dancin' in the Streets". After last week, I was expecting her to follow up with the same energy. She does... to a point. Really dig her vocals on stage, but for the most part, it's just rockin' a la RJ from series one. Add a couple of pitchy spots and an ending that I wouldn't really wish on my worst enemy, and we might have a problem. It just screams "Don't know how I'm going to top last week, so I might as well play it safe."
Randy: Started off great. That last note, I don't know what song that was in but it wasn't in that one.
Paula: The button on that was not the right choice, but overall we were dancing.
Valerie: You sounded wonderful, but I just wanted you to veer a little bit from the original version and show us a little more Amy.
Simon: You were safe. Nothing good about it. Nothing bad about it. But you know who you remind me of? Jay Leno. His sister!
Jay Leno has a sister?! "He does now." Someone tell Jay that. And speaking of J's, we've got John Stevens up to bat now with the Temptations' "My Girl". And my temptation is to switch over to something else. Pitch is all over the map. The tone is nonexistent. The body language clashes with the song. It was just wrong. This one-trick pony just became a lame duck, I'm afraid.
Randy: That was a little rough. I was all right under the pitch.
Paula: It was a little safe. You've got to approach this show to win.
Nick: Very pure and innocent. Not bad.
Simon: If I'm being honest, that was abysmal. Absolutely terrible. I don't think there was a note in tune. This was your worst week BY A MILE.
Halfway there, halfway home with Jennifer Hudson feeling a "Heat Wave". And I'm feeling a heat wave of my own here. Not really a standout performance, but refreshing from the last five minutes I had to hear. She's got the voice, the spunk, and the mindset, and they all match correctly. Even though I couldn't really tell whether she forgot the words or just went for the money shot midway. That's a good thing, though. Hey, worked for John last week.
Randy: It was good, a little over the top, but it was good.
Paula: Absolutely great, Jennifer.
Valerie: You went for the big notes and you hit'em. That's what you gotta do up here.
Simon: Entertaining, manic, mad, but good.
My words exactly. And here's Idol hint #23.6: if you can, play to the guest judges. Enter Jasmine Trias with Ashford & Simpson's "You're All I Need to Get By". Has a little bit of trouble with the lower/higher octave ranges, but she's got the presence and the tone to nail this one no problem. A little pitchy, but nothing to get all up in arms about.
Randy: It was a great last note. Other than that, it was pitchy.
Paula: You're controlled, and you're effortless, and beautiful.
Nick: I really love your voice. Having written that song, I thought you did a great performance of it.
Simon: You brought back what we love about you. Without question, the best we've seen tonight.
Well, for me, not the best, but one of the best. Next up, Diana DeGarmo wants to know, "Do You Love Me". Honestly, not really. As good as her voice is and as high as her energy is, she's shouty and the performance just reeks of immaturity. Best among her peer group, probably. Best on stage tonight? Not by a longshot, friend. But at least Matt Rogers and Eric Yoder are grooving to it in the audience.
Randy: So far, the performance of the night.
Paula: You have a voice as strong as this whole entire sound stage.
Valerie: You really made ME relax.
Simon: Vocally, you were very good. But visually, it was rather like a high school production. I just don't get it tonight.
And Randy, I hate to say it, but Simon is right. You CAN hear that in any high school. I just heard it the other week. Fantasia Barrino is next with "I Heard It Through the Grapevine". She puts herself in this performance, as she does in every performance, and that's why America loves her. But I can't seem to shake the tone. Other than that, it was the "star quality" that Simon earlier referred.
Randy: That was absolutely brilliant, and that's what this competition is about!
Paula: I love the way you worked the stage. You touched every one of these gentlemen, which was great for them. And I like the fact that you're changing it up.
Nick: Fantasia should be fantastic.
Simon: It takes more than just a good voice to win this competition. That performance proved my point. Superb.
Nick and Valerie are enjoying the show, albeit the judging is difficult. Valerie really enjoys the poking and prodding of the English guy. After all that, we have "Motown back-up singer" George Huff singing up front with "Ain't Too Proud To Beg." Going back to song choice for a moment, this is a decision done right. George is all in his element on every aspect, and the handkerchief... classic. Think we might have a tie for best performance... okay, after that last run, George takes the title. Sorry, La Toya.
Randy: When I knew that this was going to be a Motown show, I'm thinking this is going to be George Huff's night. You worked it out.
Paula: A while back, Simon said that you sounded like a background Motown singer. Tonight, you've proven that you're a front man and you're a star!
Valerie: George, you've got the biggest voice, baby. You don't even NEED a microphone.
Simon: You know what I said earlier on, what Paula was referring to? I take it back; I apologize.
Another silencer! 1000 points for you! Okay, singing time is over. Voting begins! Tomorrow, the results, of which will put another person on the midnight train to Georgia, going back to find a simpler place and time. Wait, soul was two weeks ago. Sorry. As for my pick, while Camile has been the weak link for most of the competition, John is more likely to go based on what we heard this week of Camile, which was, truth be told, infinitely better.
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Chico's Idol Chart - Motown (or: "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me")
1 - George (George in his element... what more can we say)
2 - La Toya
3 - Jennifer
4 - Fantasia
5 - Jasmine
6 - Diana
7 - Jon Peter
8 - Amy
9 - Camile
10 - John
After three rounds:
1 - La Toya (34)
2 - George (34)
3 - Fantasia (28)
4 - Jennifer (23)
5 (tie) - Jon Peter (21) and Jasmine (21)
7 (tie) - Amy (19) and Diana (19)
9 - John (13)
10 - Camile (8)
Disclaimer: Idol Charts are based on the opinions of the GSNN editors and are compiled before the votes are tallied and the result made public.
'We have to send another of our Idol finalists into obscurity. Remember Jim Veraros? Well, that's my point.'
Yoyu can say the same thing for Julia Demato, who was the 10th placed finisher on last year's Idol. Tonight, one of these ten people will join them into obscurity and trivia questions. Here are my opinions after Motown (and ONLY Motown) -
1 - George (LaToya is still the one to beat, but George did outsing her this week)
2 - La Toya
3 - Diana
4 - Jennifer
5 - Jasmine
6 - Fantasia (Sorry - hate the diva attitude and I hate her vocal tone)
7 - Amy
8 - Jon the Pen Salesman
9 - Camile
10 - John the word mangler
Mr Stevens is truly a greenhorn here - but he's not going anywhere because he was awful and all of his friends know that he has to stick around. Based on my judging from last week, I keep my three picks of Jennifer, Jasmine and Amy - but I think that Jasmine outsang Amy, so Amy will be going home.
We start off the show with a (shudder) Motown Medley - but this time around, they were much better than they were 2 weeks agi (which is good, because I couldn't see how they would be worse. That was comparable to a Fame musical medley, for crying out loud).
The good news it that they sounded good. The bad news is that next week's medley will be down to 9, as one of them will be leaving the show. We go on to the couch and Fantasia Barrino is safe. John Peter Lewis is safe as well and Jasmine, who really did sing well, gets a voting reprieve. George Huff is safe also, which means that three ouf of the next 6 are in trouble. Amy Adams...is one of them as she gets to move to the center of the stage. Cue to her mom - who also has pink hair. Well I guess the flamingo runs in the family.
Who's next? Jennifer Hudson is, which isn't a surprise. She has no fan base, which keeps dropping her into the Bottom 3. She better get one soon, or she will be the first African-American singer who will be toast. That of course, means that the next 2 people talked about are safe - which will be Diana and Camille (as the chaos theory once again holds form). 2 people are left - LaToya and John. We will see how close John's mangling gets him to be eliminated...
...as we get another rotten Ford commercial, as we see the singers pulling a Milli Vanilli and having some incredibly bad lip syncs - but at least no one is dresseup up as a goat or any other food part. This is better than the previous ones - but that's like saying that eating a pile of moldy cheese is preferable than eating a pile of moldy pineapple.
We are back, and the person who gets the third seat of eviction is....LATOYA??? WHA????? John, who looks like he just survived a bullfight with a pack of bulls, just stares into space as LaToya joins the bottom three.
The audience groans in disbelief as Paula is asked whether or not this is the correctr bottom three. Paula's response? 'NO'. Randy says that 2 of the three that are there should not be there. Simon? 'You let America vote, you live with the desicion.'
America will be breathing a little easier, as LaToya gets sent back to the safe zone. This leaves Jennifer and Amy, two of the three that I thought would be in the bottom. After both women say how much they have enjoyed the competition, the women who will be leaving is...Amy Adams. Jennifer Hudson shall stay for another week.
Well, I did call the right person, but LaToya???? You won't see LaToya finish in the bottom three next week - and I think that people will be burning up the phone lines for Jennifer Hudson, too. I think that it won't stop Jennifer from going into the bottom three - but I think that the surge will send Camile and John the word mangler to the bottom, where Camile and John will be singing for their existence. I think that John will finally show up - which means that people will think he's safe. That will be his downfall, as I think that Mr. Stevens will be done.
Amy sings us out with her reprise and we leave the show. We'll see next week who will be the next to join her.
Okay, follow me here. The theme tonight is Elton John. So who better to guest judge than... Sir Elton John, good, you're learning! He's not at the table tonight. Didn't see that one coming, did you? But Simon did personally deliver the pop impresario to work with the idols before the show, so one can only hope to hear good things tonight, does one? First up, Fantasia Barrino, whom Elton would give a record contract. "I thought she was incredible." She starts up in the audience with "Something About the Way You Look Tonight." I can see why Elton John would think so highly about her. She's a consummate performer. Only rough sports with me are the shout-factor, but she's sounding less nasal than usual. But she puts forth herself. All in all, it's the best I've seen her and the worst I've heard her. But that isn't really saying much.
Simon: No pressure, Randy. No pressure.
Randy: Elton is somewhere listening, you did his song proud.
Paula: You are fantastic. Brilliant. You had the whole place going crazy.
Simon: I thought it was your weakest performance so far. I love this girl, but there were parts of this performance where you screeched it.
That's not screeching, Simon. That's her voice... and that in and of itself is scary. Now onto Jon Peter Lewis, which Elton thinks has good phrasing. He sings "Rocket Man", and it looks like he's stalled on the launchpad. Good range, but very pitchy. But he does work the stage. Probably won't be enough to save him down the line. He better find himself FAST.
Randy: I love the jacket. Vocally, it wasn't my favorite performance. I'm not seeing the winner's spirit that you had.
Paula: Hardest thing is that they're full of range. You have a great tone, but I still feel that you're trying to find your style.
Simon: I agree with Randy, you have a nice jacket. The most I could say was that it was average. You know what I would say to you? You need voice lessons.
Somewhere inside you is a good voice. You're not growing week by week, you're just doing THAT. Not great.
Onto a sign of growth in the persona of Jasmine Trias. Elton thinks she did a good job rehearsing "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me". And justified. She starts out on the money, but when it comes to the impressive range that this song is known for, Jasmine can't hit. Especially when the high parts and the low parts converge. It was the best I've seen her, but... yep, you know what's coming... the worst I've heard her.
Randy: Pretty rangy song, you chose a great song. These are the best songs for you, but you are a little pitchy. You gotta support (the high notes), but a little pitchy overall.
Paula: You were pitchy. You really do well when you color it up with your vocals.
Simon: It wasn't good enough. You're not doing enough to win.
Again, you know, if you are to win, you have to want it. Next, John Stevens sings "Crocodile Rock", which Elton starts backing up. "He's chosen a novelty song. It can either go for you or against you." In this case, it worked against. Bad song choice. Bad BAD song choice. And bad performance of it. It would've worked if he had a) the personality and b) the strength, but as that sour note proved, he has neither. But he enjoyed it. Too bad he was the only one, though.
Randy: This was a valiant effort. Elton was right; it could either go really good or really bad. That was one of the worst high school plays I've ever seen. That was REALLY bad.
Paula: Your pitch was off. I'm trying to overlook that. I'm really proud of you for taking a leap of faith and just enjoying yourself.
Simon: John... there was a film director named Ed Wood who made one of the worst films of all time, "Plan 9 from Outer Space". After making it, he said "I'm going to be remembered for this." That was the musical equivalent. That was awful.
Segueing us right into Camile Velasco. Elton said that she's so emotional. She parlays that emotion in "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road". It could have been the best she'd ever been, but it looks like she's fallen back into the "hold back now" mode that made her a danger to be the second person to be booted. It was weak vocally, and excruciatingly painful to hear and watch, especially with her face. I think she bought it tonight.
Randy: Not your best performance. It was just very alright for me.
Paula: I don't think it was the right Elton song for you. I felt like it was shaky.
Simon: Camile, that was, honestly, the end of the road for you.
If that was one of the worst, here comes one of the best, George Huff. Again, with George being star struck (heh, he likes it), Elton cites this song as less of a public one and that, coupled with being least rehearsed, might be a hindrance. The song in this case is "Take Me to the Pilot". That's okay. I haven't heard of it either. But after tonight, I think that all of America will remember that song. Again, George took a song and OWNED it. Perfect presence, and nice use of the "vertical hold failure" bouncing. Quite possibly the performance of the night.
Randy: You worked it out, baby. It gets better every week.
Paula: In the pocket. You're just a singing machine.
Simon: Thank you for saving this competition from being a horrible karaoke competition. You have the confidence.
And the crowd goes crazy, like OMGWTFBBQCBSAEIOUand-sometimesY. We're going to do the bounce for a bit here. (does the bounce) Okay. Onto Diana DeGarmo, who's also like OMGWTFBBQCBSAEIOUand-sometimesY at meeting Sir Elton, who suggests "I'm Still Standing" after last week's sassy rendition of "Do You Love Me". Yeah, it's sassy, alright. It would be a little sassier if (hey, look, it's Amy!)... anyway, it would be a little sassier if it was on key. I mean, do it, work it, own it, but make it be in tune, yo! But at least it was a pleasure to watch, once you get past the shouts and the misfires.
Randy: Wasn't your greatest performance. A little pitchy in spots.
Paula: I can tell you're not completely healthy, but I still think you're one of the most powerful singers in the competition.
Simon: I have nothing to say.
Diana'll take it. And we'll take La Toya London to the stage. Again, Elton would give her a contract regardless of this competition. "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" is the song, and she wants to sing it like she's never sang it before. Mission accomplished. Nice presence, still a little La Toya-lite to start, but she's once again proven that she can perform anything you can throw at her. Very nice.
Randy: All I can say thank you very much for singing great tonight.
Paula: There's something very magical about your performance tonight.
Simon: It think it was a good performance, but if I'm being honest, the first two-thirds sounded from any wedding throughout the country. Wasn't as good as you two thought, but compared to some of the other horrors we had tonight, good.
Be kind. One more and we can call it a night, but first, we meet up with Kate Thornton, one of the stars of "Pop Idol", which wrapped its second season in the UK last fall. Reader's Digest Version, she would love to trade Simon in for all of the singers in tonight's show, especially George. Okey dokey, finally we have Jennifer Hudson, Elton's favorite for this round. We'll see, as she goes Disney on us with "Circle of Life". If I've said it before, I'll say it again, song choice wins competitions. Jennifer, once again, proved my point. Perfect choice, perfect voice, perfect performance... Sorry, George.
Randy: Not only the best performance of the night, the best performance you have ever had on any Idol stage!
Paula: You get it. This is who you are.
Simon: For the first time, you have proved why you are in the final 12.
Yes she has. Okay, that's it. Running low on time here, so I'll just say that Jennifer, George, and La Toya have nothing to worry about. John and Camile, however... Depth chart below, hour long result tomorrow, Gordon, get me some oxygen.
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Chico's Idol Chart - Elton John (or: "I'm a Bitch, I'm a Bitch")
1 - Jennifer
2 - George
3 - La Toya
4 - Fantasia
5 - Jasmine
6 - Diana
7 - Jon Peter
8 - Camile
9 - John
After four rounds:
1 - George (45)
2 - La Toya (44)
3 - Fantasia (37)
4 - Jennifer (35)
5 - Jasmine (29)
6 - Jon Peter (27)
7 - Diana (26)
8 - John (17)
9 - Camile (13)
Disclaimer: Idol Charts are based on the opinions of the GSNN editors and are compiled before the votes are tallied and the result made public.
Here is my AI chart - again brought out...well, you know the spiel by now.
1 - George
2 - La Toya
3 - Jennifer
4 - Jasmine
5 - Fantasia
6 - Diana
7 - Camile
8 - Jon Peter
9 - John
What can I say? George has been the man, I can't stand Fantasia's tone, and the white guys have been using more charisma than vocal talent. Ouch.
Ryan comes out, and he's going to flip the script a little for the evening. Tonight's singers will be divided into groups of 3 - the Top 3, the middle 3 and the bottom 3. Well, that could be fun to play at home. In addition, there were over 24 million votes - and the audience will e rewarded by a performance from Tamyra Gray! Unfortunately, with all this comes a downside - there will be one less performance next week, as someone will get eliminated.
Ryan introduces the judges, and then the Idol finalists, and then the recap. Ryan talked about the judges to Jon Peter Lewis, who is speechless - and says that they weren't up last night. Fantasia says that Simon must have been sleepy, but that Paula and Randy liked it, while Camille says that it's her father's birthday. LaToya said that she would sing at Simon's wedding. Heh. Jon Stevens said that he was satisfied and that he couldn't have given more. Jasmine Trias blamed her effort on tonsilitis, but she wasn't that bad. It's funny that the girl who I thought was decent didn't think she was good, and the guy who was just awful was satisfied. That ought to say it all.
We get a hawking of AI 3's new album - the soul classics - obvoiusly taped well in advanced as most of the hawking was done by the now-eliminated Matt Rogers, then we get more hawking as Ryan talks to last season's Idol finalist Julia DeMato, who has a single called 'Let It Rain'.
I'd rather hear 58 times straight than go through an Elton John medley - but guess what - we get the medley anyway! The musical choreographers were smart as they let all of the girls (who can harmonize) sing together so that they can let the guys (who can't necessarily harmonize) by themselves. We then get to the group ending, where Jon Stevens once again mangles a line. All in all, it was pretty good - and better than the next space filler featuring them at the Nickelodeon's Kid's Choice Music Awards.
But enough about them - let's go back in time and listen to American Idol 1's Finalist Tamrya Gray, as she sings an original piece of music - 'Raindrops Will Fall'. It's a nice song - and what makes it nicer is that unlike most of the idol's work after they leave the show, this song isn't over overproduced and it's got a natural energy. Please take notes on that, Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken.
After the performance, Tamyra tells Ryan that she has been busy acting - and that the acting and singing go hand-in-hand. By the way, she just happens to be in next week's episode of Tru Calling, a show that happens to air on FOX. You gotta like that coinciding ad placements, don't you?
It's time for Tamyra to answer questions from the cast. Jasmine asks her about dealing with the pressure of the show - and she says that looked at everything from an optimistic perspective. LaToya asks her about not being in the Top Three, and Tamyra says that it's not about finishing in the Top 3, it's about taking advantage of the opportunities that you are given. Fantasia asks about dealing with SImon, and Tamyra says to listen to what they have to say - and that after the competition ends, millions of people will be critiquing them.
This week's Ford commercial is about the A.I. Team - which is a mod squad that makes cars appear out of nowhere. That was actually cute - and the commericals are at their best when they let the action flow normally and let people play a normal role.
That being said, someone's role on the show is going to end as Ryan announces the groups of three. We'll make it easy for you as Ryan reads the names off -
Jasmine - Group A
Jennifer - Group C
Diana - Group A
John Stevens - Group B
Meanwhile, the audience is screaming after the group names - like right now any of them have a clue in terms of what group is considered a good or a bad group. But we start to get an inkling as LaToya will be joining Jennifer Hudson in group C. That has to be the group that gets the most amount of votes.
John Peter Lewis - Group B
Camille - Group A. Jasmine and Diana were not happy campers when that was announced, and we all have that feeling that they are the booby group. That is confirmed when Fantasia is in group B and JPL shakes his head in approval. Jennifer is just as thrilled when George is in the same group as her. Here's the rundown -
Group A - Camille, Jasmine, Diana
Group B - John X2 and Fantasia
Group C - Jennifer, George, LaToya
Well, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to see that Group C came in first, group B is in second and that someone in Group A is going home. That turns out to be the case, as Ryan announces it - and he also announces that going back to her seat is...Diana DeGarmo.
So one of the Hawaiians is going home. Paula says that the Americans are voting on personality, and not on talent. That comes from Paula? Ouch! Simon says that Americans have a right to vote for who they want - but someone should be down there who isn't, and they know who they are. Can someone say John Stevens?
The women, who both say that being true to themselves is the most important thing to remember in this competition, get one last reprise of their songs. They are both off-pitch and I can see why they are both are in the bottom two. Jasmine has been the better singer of the two for almost the whole competition and I expect her to stay. I am....right. Jamsine stays and Camile is the person eliminated. Randy and Paula appeal to Camille to move to the West Coast. We see Camille's finishing bio as we fade out.
So who's next? Well, now that Hawaii is unified on one singer, Jasmine will be safe for a while. Diana isn't, and I think that one of the white guys (perferably John Stevens) will be joining her. But I also think there could be a nasty surprise awaiting one of the top singers. I think that LaToya or Jennifer could be making another appearance at the bottom. We'll see next week if I'm right as AI go to the movies.
It's Movie Night on Idol, albeit one night late. I was waiting the last week for this not only because this is usually where the competition gets a little one-sided, but tonight as guest judge, we have one of my favorite contemporary directors as guest judge. The director of "Kill Bill Volume 1" (on DVD now) and "Kill Bill Volume 2" (in theatres Friday), Quentin Tarantino's in the house. What he knows about pop music, I don't know, but expect some heated discussion, if only because he likes the way his voice sounds. Oh, wait, he's a huge fan! Now I get it.
First up, we have George Huff, whose favorite movie was "The Wiz." He better not follow up on that, because the last person who sand something from that movie on movie night got the axe the next episode. Lucky for him (and us), it's all about "Against All Odds". I seriously would've picked a better song and/or a better arrangement, and as much as he tries to make it work, it's increasingly hard to grow into it. Maybe he needs to bounce some more. Basically put: George didn't do too good. Weakest performance thus far.
Randy: That was the wrong choice. It started really rough. I did not love it.
Paula: This week, I thought, would've been like, for you singers, kids in a candy store. Why would you pick this song out of all the movie choices? (George says it relates to him as a person)
Quentin: You made me forget that I hate that song. I think more than any of the contestants, you're the one that I see start owning the space every week.
Simon: I think it was your weakest performance. Bad choice of song. I thought you were great last week. It was almost flat tonight, George.
Agree. Next up, the singing Jennifer Hudson, whose favorite singing movie is the singing nuns in "Sister Act 2". But she's really partial to Whitney in "The Bodyguard" singing "I Have Nothing". Sure doesn't look or sound like nothing. Excellent follow-up to last week, going from form to form, strength to strength. Perfect choice. Perfect tone. Flawless! Well, almost. Couple of notes I would've dodged, but that's it. You can hardly notice them.
Randy: You worked it out. You got into the modulations, got a little pitchy, overshouted it a bit, but corrected it late in the end. Good performance!
Paula: You're really coming into your own. You look beautiful tonight. The only thing I felt was wrong was that I didn't hear you sing more of the song.
Quentin: Hudson takes on Houston and wins! You've gotten to this place this episode and the last. You can't ever go back. I expect this from you every week. Anything less than this is a D.
Simon: Jennifer, I think last week you proved to us why you should be in this competition. I think you've put yourself in the position where you could be a front runner. I wouldn't be surprised if two of the girls have a little doll of you sticking a pin in it at the moment. I'm not mentioning any names!
Hey, Cowell, Mad Mad House is tomorrow. Next is Jon Peter Lewis, whose favorite movie is "Dead Poets Society." Nice film there. Carpe diem. Nice message. "Jailhouse Rock". Not a nice choice. Perfect for him, really, but doesn't do Elvis justice. Especially with the shouting. Oh, the shouting. And with the dancing, he's about as white boy as they come. And he flubbed the lyrics. Yes, JPL is back, but do we really want him back?
Randy: All I can say is JPL is back. I was worried about you, dawg.
Paula: This is who you are. This is what America loves, yeah yeah yeah.
Quentin: JPL, you are the geekiest rock singer since Freddy and the Dreamers, alright? But when you get into your geek mode, there's no one quite like you.
Simon: I thought it was terrible. If that was presented to me as an audition, I would have let it last two seconds.
Yes, I thought it was horrible. But will America cozy up to him for a third week running? Diana DeGarmo hopes so. Her fave flick is "Bowfinger", and I have to wonder what on earth is she taking orally to think so. Apparently she won the backstage draw and gets to perform "My Heart Will Go On" from "Titanic". And yes, it's about as saccharine as I remember it. And Diana singing it does nothing for the cause. Pitch problems near the strata and really flavorless, but the best we've heard her. But again, it's a "so what" from here. I think she knew she was going tonight without a power play, and this was her Hail Mary.
Randy: You chose a very very tough song. It wasn't your best, but it was a-ight.
Paula: Your voice stands the test to do it. Nice job, again, not the most moving performance from Diana DeGarmo.
Quentin: You pulled off the song, but so what? Couldn't be a song that we're more sick of hearing and you pulled off the notes, but I don't care!
Simon: It's always risky with that song, because you hear Titanic and you feel the world sinking. You are like an overgrown child. Somewhere in the middle. You're not reflecting your age. It was just automatic and predictable.
Now that's what I call criticism from the Bastard Brothers on the end. "Finding Nemo" is the favorite of Fantasia Barrino, because she can relate to Nemo. She hopes to find herself in "Summertime" from "Porgy and Bess". This is consummate Fantasia version 2.0 here. You have everything America likes about her, and then you don't have as much whininess in the tone of her voice, and that makes her more bearable. She's bringing a lot to the table, and she's coming back with that much. One of her better performances. But the old lady earrings have got to go.
Randy: (standing O) That is the single best Idol performance of any season I've ever heard.
Paula: Oscar-winnning performance!
Quentin: That was the bomb. You're the bomb. And you know that. I have one thing to say though. You haven't been funky in WEEKS! You're showing off the voice, and you have it to show off, but I want to see you rock the house again.
Simon: There was something magical about what you did. I don't think you've ever put those lips to better use. (wink)
Dirty old man, Mr. Cowell. But, yeah, I feel her. Next up, Jasmine Trias, whose favorite movie is "Lilo and Stitch" (no surprise there), not because she's from Hawaii, but because she likes little furry koala-type aliens with ray guns. She chooses based on last week's comment, going for "Sleepless in Seattle's" "When I Fall in Love". I can hear every breath. Not really that good to start. But then she grows into the performance and shows off her vulnerability. Love the tone, but the pitch still needs work. Yes, Jasmine's back. But then again, she never left. She's just not maturing fast enough to stand a real enough of a chance.
Randy: You ran out of gas at the end, but it was good.
Paula: At least you hit that note in the end. Real risky one. You have such a real nice tone to your voice. Pleasant.
Quentin: In a show full of powerhouses, you're like this delicate powerhouse. I don't think that was that great of a performance this week, but I'm such a big fan of yours that it almost don't matter to me.
Simon: (referring to her and Diana) You are children trying to be adults, and it doesn't connect. I could go to any Sheraton hotel or resort and hear someone singing like you. We'd all have a nice dance, but so what?
After checking up with Neil Sedaka from last season, John Stevens reminisces about animated movies. His favorite being "Aladdin." He says it's his week. He's in the element with "As Time Goes By" from "Casablanca". Let me break this down here. John's still got a rocky road ahead of him, but not a bad choice, and not a bad play. He knew he needed to come up big. But not really big enough to sway me. I still don't feel it, but he saved himself today, even with somewhat questionable tonalities. He's just all superficial charm, though.
Randy: Perfect song. Perfect rendition. Great jacket. The best John Stevens I've seen yet this competition.
Paula: Perfect voice for this genre of music.
Quentin: I ain't one of your fans. But this was your genre and you did the song very truly. Bravo.
Simon: You sang it very well. The problem, though, is you have no charisma. It's your age. And you're starting to look like Ryan Seacrest.
Ouch. Well, the Idols are getting ready for a night on the town... and I don't care. A commercial's a commercial and it gets the fast forward treatment. Last but not least, La Toya London, who also likes "Finding Nemo". Everyone likes "Finding Nemo". I like it for the same reasons La Toya likes it, the animation itself. Of course, she's not a graphic designer on the side, so she'll just have to hope that one day, she'll voice an animated flick. For now, though, she'll sing "Somewhere" from "West Side Story." Odd choice, but she makes it work. Then again, she always makes it work. She's as good as Jennifer, but from a delivery standpoint, the push factor goes to La Toya. Impressive range and nice delivery on the note that shook the heavens at the end.
Randy: I'm really happy to see you playing for keeps tonight. You're trying to win this. That was great!
Paula: This competition is getting exciting, and I just love having you here.
Quentin: La Toya, I have two words for you. Power House!
Simon: La Toya, it was, yeah, one of your best performances so far.
Okay, that's all for now. Best... episode... ever. QT's prolly the best guest judge, because he's the voice of the fan... like me and Gordon, who has the results tomorrow. Anyway, Jasmine and Diana have every reason to believe that they're going to be in the bottom three, and while JPL may join them, the JPL-adoring public will put him back on the couch, leaving Diana and Jasmine fighting it out for "I've Got More Fans Than You"-ness. My money's on Jasmine having more fans.
Oh yeah. And my favorite movie: a tie between "Selena" and "The Princess Bride".
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Chico's Idol Chart - Movies (or: "Popcorn Idol")
1 - La Toya
2 - Jennifer
3 - Fantasia
4 - George
5 - John
6 - Diana
7 - Jasmine
8 - Jon Peter
After five rounds:
1 - La Toya (56)
2 - George (54)
3 - Fantasia (47)
4 - Jennifer (46)
5 - Jasmine (35)
6 - Diana (33)
7 - Jon Peter (32)
8 - John (25)
Disclaimer: Idol Charts are based on the opinions of the GSNN editors and are compiled before the votes are tallied and the result made public.
Before we start, I have to completely agree with Chico. Quentin Tarrantino, the first judge that actually spoke his mind, is the best American Idol guest judge EVER. Note to producers - PLEASE keep bringing in opinionated people in to judge. That was awesome. Also awesome - the performances last night, but we have to rank them, and here's my ranking.
1 - La Toya
2 - Jennifer
3 - George (I don't care if he was flat, and I don't care if Fantasia was much improved, there is NO way I am ranking him ahead of Fantasia)
4 - Fantasia
5 - Jasmine
6 - Diana
7 - Jon Peter
8 - John Stevens (Sure he's in the genre that he's good at - but if that's the only thing that makes him sound good, then he's in trouble.)
With that out of the way, Ryan tells us that there are more important things to worry about than taxes - like who will be sweeping the sweat off of Randy Jackson's treadmill (that is NOT a pleasant thought). We see the judges, we see the idolers, and then we see last night's recap, where we see Quentin at work.
We see Ryan at work hawking away. Look, it's Jason Priestly - and don't forget to see him and Tamyra Grey in Tru Calling - next on FOX! Chances are you'll be seeing the Apprentice finale, so bye-Tamyra. Ryan also says hi to R.J. Helton, who brushes him off, even though he has a new release coming out soon.
Someone else who has a new release coming out is Christina Christian (First season Finalist) - and she's the guest singer for the week. I'm glad that AI is using the stage as a showcase for all of their Idolers, regardless of how they did in the finals. Her singing is VASTLY improved over when she was on Idol, and her song is actually pretty catchy. Christina's CD will be in Europe (which is smart to get a fan base) and then she will be coming to the states. It seems like she has been doing her homework.
One of the singers will be doing their homework in time to go to school - because one of them will be going home. LaToya will not be going home, because she's safe. Fantasia is...safe, George is...safe, Jasmine is...safe, Jennifer is....safe. That leaves John Peter, Diana and John Stevens in the bottom three - with JPL and Mr. Stevens being at the bottom for the first time.
We will be seeing the singers with Barry Manilow, so fortunately, we won't be seeing a tacky Ford commercial with them in it. Instead, we'll be seeing a tacky Ford commercial with paper cutouts of them driving in a car and being chased by a policeman. HAVE WE NO SHAME???
Before we get to see who gets eliminated, we look to the judges. Simon says that they are too young for the competition, Randy says that they need more experience, and Diana...will be joining the people back on the happy couch.
So who is going home? I don't know, but I will guarantee you this - with no other white males left, the white male who survives this cut will be around for awhile. We'll get to that - and my observances - at the end of the show.
The person leaving American Idol is....John Peter Lewis. John Stevens is shocked - though I'm not, as they both pretty much stunk up the joint last night. We see the pen salesman's closing bio and JPL sings the wretched Jailhouse Rock as we leave.
So my thoughts? We have George, Fantasia, Latoya and Jennifer as the powerhouses, which leaves Jasmine, John Stevens and Diana as the obvious three to be in the bottom next week, right? Wrong. This is where the Chaos Theory Works the best - when everyone thinks that people are safe and they won't vote for them. Next week is the week where there will be a very nasty upset in the making. I think Diana will be at the bottom - but I also think that John Stevens, who will get John Peter Lewis's white male vote, will not only not be in the bottom three - but he will be around for a while. I also think that Jasmine, with Hawaii carrying her, will also not be in the bottom three. Diana may also be getting a little of the JPL vote - which leaves two of the powerhouses making their way to the bottom. I am sensing that the two people with the lowest amount of votes on the top is Jennifer Hudson and Fantasia Barrino, so I will say that they will be there (pending on performances) and I will tell the Jennifer Hudson voters that they better be flooding the lines - because I think that she will be the person getting caught in the Chaos Theory Trap and right now is the target of elimination.
We'll find how next week how accurate I am.
