| WORDS OF WISDOM FROM THE POET LAUREATE OF TELEVISION, NIPSEY RUSSELL "The fashions that women are wearing today cause me to wonder and doubt, 'are they outside trying to get in or inside trying to get out?'" "If you owe too much on American Express, and your Diners' Club notes are too hard, then take a loan on your Visa, and pay it off with your Mastercard." "The opposite of 'pro' is 'con', that fact is plainly seen. If 'progress' means 'move forward', then what does 'Congress' mean?" "If you're not drinkin and smokin, if you're not out havin a ball, when you pass away, the doctor will say, 'He died from nothin' at all.'" "How leaders now have shown us how to respond when we're on the spot. No need to deny nor to alibi. Simply answer 'I forgot.'" "There's a new church now where the supermarket was. Ya gotta go there and confess. They have an express box for those who have committed 10 small sins or less." "They've just made a movie about a mermaid. I don't understand the reason why. Not enough woman to make love to and too much fish to fry." "Every day you turn the page. You know you're gettin' middle age when your pimples and your rashes turn to wrinkles and hot flashes." Nipsey once played for a home viewer on Let's Make A Deal. "They say 'money can't buy happiness' but i'll tell you how i feel. What money does buy, I seldom use. So, heck, let's make a deal." "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, his oxen, thou shalt not slaughter, but thank the Lord it's no sin to covet thy neighbor's daughter." "Today's young people are really smart, you'd be surprised how much they know. Instead of asking you where they came from, they now tell you where you can go!" "The kids are saying 'make love, not war' And I'm beginning to think they're right, For war costs millions of dollars a day, and love, just a few bucks a night!" "Don't put the baby on the waterbed, it could be very grim. You'll never know if he's wetting the bed, or if the bed is wetting him!" "When sounds are heard around the house of little kids and their toys, we know children were sent from heaven 'cause the Lord couldn't stand that noise." "Mother Nature and Father Time can't get together, it seems, 'cause by the time they learn the game, they're too old to make the team." "The bee is such a busy soul, he has no time for birth control. That is why in times like these, there are so many sons of bees." "More people die on the highway than they do on the battlefield. It ain't the tiger in the tank, it's the jackass behind the wheel." Back to my homepage. |
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