STRANGE BUT TRUE STORIES ?

Mexican Police Officers

There was a large group of police officers in Cancun,
who, in the early 1980 ’s came up with the perfect
way of nailing prostitutes. To be sure they had
evidence against the prostitutes the Police officers
would have sex with them and then arrest them. It was
a surefire way of making sure the evidence stood up
in court, they explained........

Unexpected Souvenirs

There were two widows in their late seventies who were
returning from a pilgrimage to France. Suddenly she was
stopped by French customs officials. The officials
suspected that she was smuggling items in the trunk of
her car.

Even though the women swore she has nothing to hide, the
officials searched the car and sure enough found several
boxes in the trunk.

The widows didn't know it but they had fallen victim to a
smuggling gang who, to avoid detection, would plant drugs
and pornography in the cars of innocent tourists. Too bad
for the women the customs officials didn't know it either
and assumed the women were playing coy. So they played
very rough with the women.

Later one of the women told the newspaper that the customs
man started waving what looked like a large rolling pin in
her face. He shouted "Husband no good eh?" and she replied,
'My husband's dead' and started crying. Then he blew up
what looked like a beach ball and it turned out to be a
naked woman with brown hair. The woman fainted! The women
were eventually freed without charge!

Spanking Issue

A very interesting question came up when a policewoman
posing as a prostitute arrested a fifty year old Floridian
who offered to pay her to let him spank her. It wasn't the
legal question of the decade, but is soliciting a prostitute
for spanking the same as soliciting a prostitute for sex?

The defendant's lawyer pointed out that spanking is not sex,
spanking is spanking! The DA's office said that spanking is
a form of sex. Spanking is..sex. The judge suggested both
sides "research the issue" although he didn't specify how?

Russian Porn

In 1989, there was a crackdown on porn. The Russian
communist officials said there was going to be penalties
for possession of pornography. The charges were life in
prison or death! A good reason not to get to into porn!

Cheap Thrills

There was a group of expatriate rock musicians in Spain
who were not getting very many gigs. One day they were
approached by a promoter who offered them a deal $600
for a one-night gig. There was one hitch and that was
that they needed to appear in the nude. The promoter
explained that this was only reasonable, since they
would be performing in front of a nudist colony. He
also wanted them to perform famous nude hits like: I’m
in the nude for love, and Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Nudist
Band!

The musicians weren’t at all wild about the idea but they
needed the money so they agreed to the deal. The night of
the performance they were taken to the auditorium and
ordered to strip back stage. They walked out onto the
stage, very nervous and cold. When they got out there they
were shocked to see a very conservative audience dressed
in tuxedos and evening dresses.

The audience was furious and the band was so embarrassed.
They looked everywhere but the promoter was nowhere to be
found. To top things off the group was even more upset
when they saw the banner with their band name on it. They
were called The Nudie Blues!

Garage Sucker

A person living in Chicago, on the top of a 4 story
apartment building, noticed a man pull into the gas
station across the street. They were going about
their business when they looked out the window and
saw his legs hanging out of his car kicking wildly.
Thinking that he had been mugged, They dialled 911.

A squad car showed up quickly, and the officers were
almost in a state of shock when they approached the
car. They saw that the man had his genitals completely
engulfed by a 50 cent vacuum. The vacuum was set to
run for 15 minutes. The man in the car thought it was
a cheap date!

Crazy Streaking

During the 1970's there was a major craze of streaking
going on in many cities. People would take off their
clothes and run through public places in the nude. This
was taking place in Kenya and was not appreciated by the
officials. They had the most problems with the American
and European tourists who chose to streak in the
traditionally minded African country.

So the country decided to come out with a new law. The
system was very effective for the police. Anyone caught
would be escorted and placed aboard the next available
flight home, in the nude!

Zoo Sexual Problems

There was a monster tortoise at the San Diego zoo in
California. It had been celibate for ten years and now
he was ready for some hot sex with a female tortoise.

The zoo director said that all of Monster's mating
attempts were failures. This particular tortoise was
totally inept when is came to sex.

The apparently nearsighted and overeager tortoise had
been trying to mate with a rock, a feeding pan, and a
garbage can lid. The zoo director said they would try
to acquire a female Galapagos to help the hapless Monster
out of his dilemmas!

Rooster Fling

In California a researcher tried an experiment to get
hens to lay two eggs a day and it was working. He gave
the hens female hormones and their egg production went up.

The crazy thing was that the hormones affected some of the
roosters as well as the hens. One day the researcher went
out to check on the hens and he saw a rooster flirting
with the other roosters, clucking, singing, looking coy.
This rooster was acting as female as he possibly could!

Bad Pitch

There was a prostitute from Los Angeles who had moved to
Hawaii and she was very puzzled. Lot's of her friends had
told her that Hawaii was the best place to be to pick up
wealthy Japanese tourists. She was having a very hard
time and not getting much business. There seemed to be
too few takers. She had learned some Japanese from fellow
prostitutes, but many of the potential Japanese customers
were either walking the other way, or ignoring her.

Finally one day she was arrested and she finally learned
the truth from a friendly undercover officer. The girl
had been approaching Japanese men and telling them in
Japanese words she did not intend to say. She was saying
in a friendly way "Funk Off", "I've got VD, want to have
a go?" The best one was "Get the fuck out of her you
asshole"! This obviously was ruining her chances of making
money.

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