The Clocktower
Exciting Opportunity
Our Agency is currently looking for a controller for our busy despatch
Department. You will be in a busy environment and will have the
ability to work well under pressure. Experience not necessary
as training will be given as needed. Excellent rates of pay and
superb benefits. Real opportunity of future advancement.
Apply in person at Fellows Agency Lewisham High Street (near the Clock
Tower between the hours of 9 - 5 pm. )
What are you waiting for?
'Hmm, interesting advert to the say the least,' Richard thought to himself.
After being more than seven months without
a job he resigned himself to having a look. No phone number though
which was odd though.
'What the hell, I'm not doing anything right now. I'll have a look for myself,'
he mused.
Richard quickly rummaged through his wardrobe
and found his best suit. It was grey and looking a bit shabby now.
Fortunately the moths hadn't reached it yet and it was just about ok for
his interview. Just as well as it was his only one. The white
shirt was ironed and his tie was a plain black effort. The trousers
were unbranded and cheap but adequate. Swiftly the suit was on and
from being an unemployed no-hoper he was transformed into an urbane gentleman,
well, a man with a suit at least. At least his shoes were shiny and
pretty much unused. The rest of the time it was jeans and trainers.
He left his home and locked up securely, not
that anyone would find anything to purloin in this place. The bus stop
soon came into view and the red checkerboard said five minutes until the
twenty-one was due. He decided to stand not wishing to sit on the rather
dirty bench where a young lady and her son were. The minutes soon passed
and at last he was journeybound to the wilds of Lewisham.
The journey itself was dull and the excitement
only lifted by a Nigerian gentleman talking rather loudly into his mobile.
The bus pulled into Lewisham terminus and then the melee ensued as everyone
piled off. He kept his ticket which he hoped to keep for reimbursement
and looked for the agency. He knew were the clocktower was and set
off in that direction.
Crossing the road near the roundabout was
as hazardous as ever, a brief sprint and abuse from the Evening Standard
van were his rewards. Ever on he went and after one more crossing he
made his way to the tower. Right beside it were the words he had searched
for, "Fellows Agency, Let us widen your Horizons". With a brief onset of
nerves he passed into the portal.
The interior was pretty much as he expected.
A typical office shall we say. Grey flooring, a patchwork ceiling of
panels, a bank of phones all which were in use, grey desks and the ubiquitous
annoying receptionist.
"Can I help you sir"? was the eargrating greeting.
"Hi, yes I got this advert in the South London about a job as a controller.
I was wondering if you could tell me any more det.." He was curtly
interrupted before he could finish.
"Oh yeah, just take a seat over there and I'll let someone know. It
should be about ten minutes, alright."
Richard trudged over to the bank of orange
seats and was soon halted by the car alarm voice.
"NO NOT THERE, over here," she commanded.
She looked fed up and just ever so slightly
cross. Her finger pointing to her left and not the right where Richard
had descended. Obsequiously he obeyed her digit and sat down.
His cheeks flushed and the receptionist returned to the more important matter
of her magazine.
Time passed slowly and after about twenty
minutes a tall lady came over to Richard. Her hand proffered to him
and he eagerly took it.
"My apologies sir for the delay. As you can see we are very busy.
I understand you've come about the controllers job."
Richard nodded happily before she continued.
"My name is Venus Hathaway and I would like to ask you a few questions before
we go any further. The first one is what is your name."
"Richard Miles, Miss Hathaway."
Venus held up her palm and immediately instructed Richard to call her Venus.
The grilling lasted for about twenty minutes as Richard gave his oral C.V.
Venus seemed pleased at the end and then made a strange request.
"Richard, I must say that I feel that you have a strong opportunity of fulfilling
our clients needs. What I would like you to do is to return here at
midnight tonight to meet the vendor. I apologise for the late hour,
but that is what he has requested."
"Midnight?" Richard looked puzzled, not really wishing to brave the
back streets of Lewisham at such an ungodly hour.
"It's nothing to be alarmed about Richard. Mr Stellar just finds it
more convenient and wants people who will go that extra mile, no, not extra
mile, the extra hundred miles as he often says."
Another disarming smile and Richard agreed to return that night at the witching
hour, happy in the knowledge that his luck at last might just be changing.
Richard spent
the rest of the day with nervous boredom. After so long on the dole
it was an easy trap to succumb to. Repeatedly watching the same videos,
same music and same old terrible daytime television.
'Just how much things are there to have chat shows about.' were the thoughts
that emanated.
Nevertheless, seconds became minutes, minutes
became hours and agonisingly the clock ever moved forward. Finally,
he donned his best attire again and repeated his early journey. The
journey this time was rather move eventful. Two young alpha males almost
to coming to blows over a young queen whose behaviour was anything but regal.
Fortunately it was only shouting and pushing before the rivals friends managed
to calm down the two men. The girl was not impressed at their lack
of action and cold shouldered both of them for the rest of the journey.
Richard left the bus at last along with everyone
else at the terminus, and it was not long before he approached Fellows agency
again. It had an eerie green illumination from within but seemed deserted.
Richard shrugged his shoulders thinking it was a wasted journey. He
pushed the door expecting it to be locked but it opened inwardly.
'Hello, is anyone there?" he enquired.
Silence was the answer and he repeated his call again as he closed the door
behind him. At least this time there was no annoying receptionist to
worry him. Still no answer. so Richard went further into the building
and was drawn to a sign on the wall.
"Richard, would you please use the stairs at the back
of this office
and kindly meet me at the top. Sorry for the unusual circumstances
but it will all make sense in due course. Ian Stellar, director
of Universal
Transport Division."
'What have I got myself into here?" he thought.
Reluctantly he did as he was bade and discovered the source of the green
light. Just a mere green lampshade on a lone lightbulb. Nothing
out of the ordinary except the circumstances. Richard opened a door
at the back of the office and saw a long corridor with a staircase at the
end.
'They're very trusting just leaving the door open like that round here.'
Richard was amazed that they took security so lightly in safe South London.
Richard was expecting maybe one or two flights
of stairs, but they went on much longer than he reckoned with. A window
on the stairs made him suddenly realise that he was actually ascending the
clocktower of Lewisham. The thought unnerved him, although there was
no logical reason for the unnatural fear. To him it just didn't feel
right. At the top of the stairs there was a plain wooden door and after
a pause he entered.
The sight in front of him was surprising too
say the least. It was a thriving office with the staff he had seen
earlier. Even the receptionist was here, although she took absolutely
no interest in Richard. Venus was there as well, and aside from the
rest of the staff, Richard saw the tallest man he had ever seen. He
was over seven feet tall dressed immaculately in a black suit, but for some
very strange reason he wore a white trilby.
"Richard my good man, jolly decent of you to come along at such a late hour"
was the booming welcome in a deep American voice from the south.
"Let me introduce myself I am Ian Stellar and I run this little operation
and it is a pleasure to meet you."
The customary handshake followed and Richard
introduced himself. The formalities soon passed and Richard prepared
himself for another interview.
"I know what you're thinking Dick. You don't mind if I call you that
do you?"
Richard smiled and assured him that it wasn't a problem.
"You're thinking another damn interview. Well, worry no more you got
the job."
Richard gasped in surprise. This was
not what he expected at all. He didn't really know what the job was
about as the earlier interview with Venus was only concerned about Richard's
previous experience.
"No need to be surprised Dick, you see I have an eye for knowing when something
is right. My feelings are always right my friend. Now all you
have to do is control."
"Forgive my ignorance Mr Stellar, but what exactly am I controlling and how
do I do it?"
The director laughed at the naivety of his
new employee. He put a reassuring hand on Richard's shoulder and led
him towards yet another set of stairs.
"Questions, questions, I'm pleased you're so inquisitive. Follow me
and I'll explain everything to you. Our operation is concerned with
traffic and you get to travel to some really wonderful places. On top
of that you'll find it easy, just plug yourself into a terminal and you're
away."
"I'm sorry Mr Stellar but I don't have a current passport at the moment."
Again Richard smiled as they made their way
up the stairs. He pointed towards the door urging Richard to open it.
"Please call me Ian and we don't worry about minor details like passports.
You leave all the admin to me. Now please come with me onto the roof
and I'll show you the traffic I'm talking about."
With much curiosity and uneasiness he ventured
out. Again it was just a plain boring roof, nothing exciting, just
a small landing underneath the tower. He looked over the edge of the
landing to the ground below and the road was reasonably quiet. Sure
there were cars around but not the congestion he was half expecting, and
why should there be at midnight. He turned to Ian who just pointed
up to the sky. Richard followed his finger to the heavens and caught
his breath. A huge craft with many lights and moving in an erratic
manner buzzed past the tower at alarming speed.
"There's the traffic I'm referring to my friend. You're job is to keep
it all under control, believe me this opportunity is out of this world."
At the end of the final sentence two more
craft narrowly missed each other as they sped off into the night. Richard
was flabbergasted, here were strange craft whizzing around over London and
Mr Stellar seemed very matter of fact.
"This is just about the busiest time of the evening. Just after midnight
we get calls from our galactic friends doing all their survey work and we
gotta make it happen. Come on let's go back inside and have a cup of
coffee, I can tell you're just a little bit taken aback."
Soon they returned to the sanity of the office
and the promised cup of coffee helped bring Richard back to some sense of
normality. He tried to rationalise the situation he was in and nervously
pumped Ian with questions.
"How comes you need me to control all of this? This all looks very
complicated to me, I'm just an unemployed man. I can't control all
these craft going back and forth, it's way over my head."
Again the familiar laugh returned. Ian
said nothing and just led his recruit to a terminal on the left. Richard
sat down and waited.
"Now then Richard don't you sell yourself short. I know what you forgot
to tell us earlier, you were great at playing video games when you was a
bit younger. I can tell you from what I see you got great reflexes
and with you being off work playing them darn games you are sharp for this.
Press the green button there and I'll show you how easy it all is."
Richard pressed the button. The screen
in front of him went black and a red square appeared and Richard instinctively
pressed the red button, then a blue square, he pressed the blue button, the
yellow and so on. It was ridiculously simple.
"See, what did I tell you? Easy as you like. Now that's all there
is too it, you're training is all over already."
Richard couldn't believe something so complicated
could be so simplified. Alien craft navigation reduced to mere button
pushing!
"Forgive me Ian, but why do you need to do this on Earth? Surely you
should be doing this in outer space or something? Why do you need another
human?"
Richard laughed anew before pointing to the
window. Richard turned his shoulder to the starry night as his new
boss spoke.
"You're right Richard, we don't do this on Earth. And by the way you're
our only human here, we're just adopting a more pleasing outlook for you
folks here on Earth. Oh, by the way I forgot to tell you that when
you pressed the green button you initiated launch sequence."
Richard ran to the window and saw that he
was looking down planet Earth from a great height. A much greater height
than Lewisham Tower, he was in a craft orbiting the planet! He turned
round to speak to Ian Stellar and all sense of reality left him. A
giant creature akin to a green caterpillar, fitting in comfortably with all
the other aliens now visible spoke to him.
"Don't you worry about a thing Dick, you'll fit in just fine I promise you.
After all didn't I promise you this job was out of this world, and my boy
you will get to travel like no other man has. After all being traffic
controller for the universe is a damn busy affair."
Richard glanced at caterpillar man once more
and then he fainted. Life in the cosmos for him had just begun.
I do apologise to those who were expecting a serious expose of gritty unemployment
in South London. The idea of this piece came to me when I read that
Lewisham was supposed to be one of the busiest areas in the country for Alien
activity. Apparently they use the clocktower for navigation hence this
little story. I hope you enjoyed it, even if some may find it a bit
too surreal. So the next time you go shopping just think what could
be around, after all I've been shopping in Lewisham myself, time to return
to my spaceship lol.