Some poems to peruse:

The war in Iraq is over they say,
The terrorists have all had their day,
Yet we see as days go by,
More and more young soldiers find ways to die.

Osama still lingers, not yet out of the way
Small wonder as he was trained by the CIA,
Saddam is still there smokelike & unseen,
All the bloodshed does seem obscene.

Still the sanguine lust goes on and on,
Ever to prove that the West are never wrong,
If the war on terror goes not to plan,
The next step may well be to invade Iran.

Bush arrives as the conquering hero,
but has he achieved much more than zero?
All these enemies fight to the last,
but aren't they really allies from America's past?

Were it only 13 years ago
When Bush senior called the Iraqis to rise up & overthrow.
Heeding their saviours clarion call,
The allies turned tail and let the insurgents fall.

When will this slaughter ever come to an end?
When life is over due to the doom of men.

When you know you are too fat or slim,
It is time to go and visit the gym,
Looking around you'll see the latest sports gear,
You decide you will go and conquer your fitness fear

The barbell goes up & you hear a crack,
You hope & pray that wasn't your back,
Your pulse is racing & you begin to train,
The time has come to disengage the brain.

If you wish to see your body destroyed,
You could always go & use anaebolic steroids,
When you feel that you are bold & tough,
You go & find that some joker has cranked the weight up.

They say to make progress it is no pain no gain,
Surely to go on with this is just plain insane,
You feel as if you are being punished & sent to hell,
No, it is just your trainer who just happens to be called Del.

Hard at work you let loose your pent up aggression,
You hope this atones for all those indulgent transgressions,
The session is over & you are ready to collapse,
When you get home you are going to hit the sack.

19/11/03

From great king Henrys' days of sin
Emerged the daughter of Anne Boleyn.
In her early days she had to be wary,
lest she displeasure Queen bloody Mary.

Mary died and vacated the throne,
Elizabeth came and made the role her own.
Suitors came from all over for marriage,
Elizabeth dimissed them with calm disparage.

Ever alert a danger she could spot,
Especially the clever Queen of Scots.
Pope Pius declared her reign was illegal,
Englands' spies awakened with eyes of eagles.

A plot to many led to the demise of Mary,
She had an execution that was barbaric and scary.
The Spaniards protested to make England quake,
Especially concerning a certain Sir Francis Drake.

Tilbury was the scene of her finest hour,
Her rousing speech emboldened her men to fight a great foreign power.
Spain unleashed its mighty armada,
But Englands teeth smote it to disaster.

So the curtain comes down on gloriannas great age,
The virgin queen showed the wisdom of a great sage.
When James Ist came at the appointed hour,
He inherited for Britain a superpower.

20/11/03

Friday has come it's the end of the week,
A drink is now what I truly seek.
What will really make my go and cheer,
Is a lovely glass of ice cold beer.

A few drinks go down and the atmosphere is buzzing,
In the next morning I just know my head will be thumping.
My thirst is slaked with this obscene saturation,
This will lead to inevitable intoxication.

The night is long and my senses now fail,
I believe I must have had a bit too much ale.
It is time to try something really risky,
Go on, go on bring in the whiskey.

The bell rings to get your last orders in,
The natural choice is a glass of gin.
It's time to rise the eyes are blurry,
It won't be long before the throat is furry.

A walk outside and the legs now fail,
Best sober up or i'll end up in jail.
It is now time to get home very quick,
Or the brand new coat will be covered with sick!

A foot catches the pavement and down I fell,
Woke up the next morning in a dank police cell.
My wife went frantic calling all my friends,
She couldn't imagine I'd come to this end.

I left the station to face the noise,
I got strong abuse when I rang the boys.
I better go home & get on with my life,
I have a meeting with a very angry wife!

Dedicated to a certain Mr Kiddey, don't ever do that again!
22/11/03

Thanks but no thanks!

It is time to tell you about how we all feel,
About the up and coming Christmas meal.
The chance to thank us for our sterling efforts,
Our kind reward from the company zealots.

You can toast a drink to the company way,
Just make damn sure that you all behave.
A little known fact of company policy,
For the night the pub becomes company property.

The goodwill towards us is a complete fallacy,
hence the reason we'll keep to our apathy.
A drink is offered by the company stooge,
We'll play the role of Dickens' scrooge.

Because of this we'll hold an alternative party,
Where feelings are true and all are hearty.
We thank and decline the companies offer,
And pay our way from our own sweet coffers.

No need to suffer "Oh how well you have done".
Only to be disregarded when Monday comes.
So please give us none of this hypocrisy,
Just leave us all to truth and blunt honesty.

Lighten Up

Its come to something when a simple grin,
Can be seen by you as a heinous sin.
If someone dares to crack a joke,
You swallow hard & begin to choke!

The thought of showing just a little smile,
You see as repugnant & extremely vile.
So for all the foolish & inane behaviour,
There is no chance for you of humour failure.

When pranksters caper you think they're puerile,
If you had your way they'd be on trial.
When you hear their laughter merry & calling,
You'd like to amuse yourself & issue a warning.

Humour is gone when the giggling is missing,
All you want is good harsh discipline.
Some come on misery & laugh for all you're worth,
And enjoy yourself & engage in joyous mirth.

So broaden your mouth open and wide,
And release that misery that wallows inside.
Empty your lungs & begin to chuckle,
And that hard exterior will finally buckle!

It is the start of yet another day,
And we can guess what the radio will play.
The same old faces will go & play their part,
On a wonderful radio station that we call Heart.

Barry, Lionel some stars to name but just a few,
All these old dinosaurs are what are going to be due.
Their adage is the maxim music variety,
All it brings in me is a sense of cold sobriety.

It someones bold & says change the station,
It would cause within a sense of immense celebration.
Alas those that matter wont listen to this polite command,
They're much more likely to go & issue a harsh reprimand.

Remember the days when we could go & play cds,
The autocrats floundered & found themselves at sea.
And then we find ourselves lumbered with the company fool,
Who inured himself by filling his ears with silly cotton wool.

I think I would disappear down a dark dank hole,
Than have to listen to this boring dance & soul.
This may come something as quite a mighty shock,
But many of us quite like some fiery hard rock.

So please would someone bring this ennui to an end,
And go & be bold & stick the tuner onto XFM.
Or dare you go & listen to the number 1 real deal,
He hides on Radio 1 & goes by the name of John Peel!

You've won a prize!

You see me not yet you know I be,
The phantom you seek, I am he.
In life so short I was bold & fey,
Now I linger & can't go away.

I yearn for sleep in eternal peace,
Yet no ye well I can find no release.
The muffled noise & stifled cry,
A presence you know you cannot deny.

In my house you are now the host,
For here I dwell the damnable ghost.
With spectral eyes I have ethereal sight,
But still I cannot find the cleansing light.

At times my feelings come to fell rage,
For I have stayed for too long an age.
I see you standing quaking with fear,
Always knowing that I am near.

I wish I could break this eternal cycle,
Then at last I would not be spiteful.
How my spirit cries for a bright joyous end,
A soul chained here that no-one comes to tend.

When darkness comes and you lose the light,
Is when my likeness makes you take your flight.
The day will come when my presence will fade,
When I find at last my atonement is paid.

Do you want to see something funny?
Then watch the fashion victims waste their money.
They must be told it is merely a fable,
When they waste their time on designer labels.

They preach a devout solemn sermon,
About the virtues of the great Ben Sherman.
They all can get rather pompous and silly,
When they only buy goods from chic Italy.

Then they find their money is lost,
When they buy a shirt from La Coste!
The ignorant go out with their attire unfurled,
Blissfully unaware it came from the 3rd world.

Come on you people now use your brain,
And spend it forth on something plain.
The time has come to titter & snigger,
they've spent more money on Tommy Hilfigger.

Open your eyes & picture the scence,
You are now become every market mans dream.
Yet again they buy something foreign,
Yep its the latest trend from Yves St Laurent.

What is embarrasing & so shallow,
When certain old people try to get 'in the know'!
If it's not your bank you wish to break,
Go down the market & buy a fake.

So you'd best beware & don't buy from Hackett,
A rumour abounds that their clothes cost a packet.
So go ahead & conquer your fear,
And dismiss this nonsense of designer gear.

From this ode I do conclude,
That all this expense is just to crude.
So here it is the bottom line,
All this racket is a waste of time.

---

Cowards way

Now the fear & the light goes dull,
The time has come for this dark black hole,
The depths of torment tear within,
Ushering ever towards the ultimate sin.

Feeling so low & ever abandoned,
All this life was so ever saddened.
Down deep inside is torn apart,
The blade lies taut to stab this heart.

Tears roll down an endless river,
The body trembles to a boneless shiver.
The blade goes high to strike down deep,
Now at last to tormented sleep.

When all is set the knife shall sail,
Only now do nerves start to quail.
The dagger falls crashing to the ground,
All this drama and hardly a sound.

Life beats still & still a disgrace,
Lingering still to the human race.
The time is over forget this strife,
Be a coward still & live the life.

Redundant stock

Sleeping, waking eating, wasting,
Ever the light goes on & off,
Was once a time when I was creating.
The nerves in my head have now gone all soft.

Ere I wait upon my chair,
Memory fades I cannot recall,
Put in this house by my son & heir.
The lack of my cognition doth me appal.

Unwanted, unneeded is that what I am?
Nurses uncaring wake me & usher me round,
Forgotten, unseen a wizened old man.
Ever I am lost, but then I am found.

Ancient memories are at the front of my mind,
Infirm & indolent are now my prime virtues,
All I wish now is for my kin to be kind.
This interment now a ruinous curfew.

So here I sit & never to mend,
There goes my life so long & proud,
It won't be long before I'm at an end.
Death in a home & far from the crowd.

---

Fell Devils

Thou hast seen thy solemn pledge,
To smite thy ruin upon swords edge.
Thine is the glory if thoust would encounter thee,
To be enraged to thy base discovery.

Ye shall not ever be able to contain,
When thou hast been loosed from thy domain.
Fey & febrile thou shalt be,
When thine eyes are set forth on thee.

For thou art doomed when thoust speak thy name,
Ever forever thou woulds't be thy bane.
Terror fills thy heart wilt quail,
Hope falls & thou woulds't fail.

For when thou seen this beast so fell,
Thou hast fallen to the abyss called hell.
Thou hast fallen for thee to claim,
For thou wast doomed when thee did came.

---

Come In 188

I'm stuck outside & it's very very cold,
When the bus finally comes i'll be a little bit more old.
After an age I see a bright red carriage,
Soon to rendezvous with an oily garage.

Alas & woe it is not my number,
Oh how I've been left here stuck in the lumber!
I don't like standing & waiting for the 188,
The wife starts to worry if I'm a little bit late.

My luck is in & my bus now draws near,
I've paid my fare & it wasn't too dear.
I get thrown in my seat as it pulls madly away,
The driver's possessed as he screams down the bus lane.

If I'd left a bit sooner I could have left in my friends car,
Just about now I'd be merry up at the bar.
The bus bounces high as it hits a big bump,
I bang my head with a mighty sharp thump.

After no time at all I see my journeys end,
At the top of the road just round the bend.
I step off the beast & bid the driver goodnight,
I am all rather nervous after suffering this fright!

---

Sheep

When things don't quite their way,
They look to a ringleader to have their say.
When he begins & shuffles his feet,
Oh how the noisy sheep do bleat.

For a long time now no mind of their own,
Gripes & apathy are the fruits that have grown.
Isolate one & hide from the crowd,
Then they discover they're not quite as proud.

The protagonist crows & airs more cries,
The mob await to jump 'Oh how high'?
With heads cast low they stare straight ahead,
Eagerly they await the next word that's said.

Then their champion says 'cmon lets go',
The ovine heard follow the raucous bellow.
A dog's released to round up this flock.
Oh how they cowered when the shepherd did mock.

So defeated & chastened they ran to the pen,
They'll soon get the chance to do it all again!

---

Dark Dank Pools

Innocents are naive and young of kind,
They are never knowing what lurks in dark minds.
Trusting of people both young and old,
Not knowing inside would turn most of us cold.

Interminable and ever is this story set out,
Virgins innocence does the beast wish to flout.
Who can say what drives these foul creatures on,
When they've had their fun more children are gone.

Hidden and respected they lie in our midst,
Descending as devils when their lust might be missed.
Craven and wicked their aims are so base,
Confronted and questioned they lower their face.

Always frightening they disregard lifes rules,
Little wonder as they come from dark dank pools.
For all the lost innocence who've gone to dark holes,
We pray for their salvation and remember their souls.

---

Call R for Repairs!

Here is an ode to the odd job man,
He does things in a way than none of us can.
From risky engineering to horrifying DIY,
If he's not too careful he could well die!

Cutting corners and reducing his costs,
Is that one of his fingers' he has recently lost.
The end result might actually be quite good,
He's relatively safe when he sticks with wood.

He did some welding without his dark visor,
When his eye's started smoking he wished  was wiser.
With explosives and petrol he is quite the star,
Oops he has just accidently blown up your car!

He then goes inside to lay down a new floor,
The time it takes him can make your temper soar.
Ten jobs at once that's no problem to him.
He is always ready to risk life and limb.

Next thing he knows he is way behind,
To good organisation he is completely blind.
He receives a call to a job he forgot,
Alas his reputation has now gone to pot!

---

Invisible

Here a man stands yet all and sundry walk by,
No-one looks to catch a lonely stare in their curious eye.
Ever passing time interminable and not ever to be seen,
At the end of the evening you will not know that this human's been.

Ever retreating to some dark distant corner,
Not fitting in with the rest of the fauna.
Always looking to the depths of some ale,
Knowing as usual this evening this evening will fail

To the outsider watching these events seem comical,
To see the performance of this unwanted molecule.
All these wild days and away from the shennanigans,
To interfere now would be seen as brobdingnagian!

Some of us are never really at the party,
Not ever or at all are we so hearty.
In trammels of solitude are my boundaries set,
The results of this are that partners are not met.

So stuck away a ghost and invisible,
Hanging to thoughs and ever so wistful.
Away at last to endure the quiet halls of solitude.
Ever resigned to unearth yet more veins of fortitude.

---

OverIndulged

So it comes the season of cheer,
Slaking our thirst with flagons of beer.
Our mouths are open, agape and wide,
Just how much fare can we get inside?

Then it comes to the annual Christmas meal,
The insides are horrified to what they must deal!
The turkey's devoured and the body is stuffed,
Still more to eat lest your host is rebuffed.

Yet more food is brought to our eyes,
Time has come to eat the mince pies.
All the side is covered with small wholesome nibbles,
The belly will soon be adorned with widening ripples.

The season's not over as their is still New Years Day,
All designed to keep the healthy body well at bay.
Then at last it is the same old New Year resolutions,
To these new mounds of fat we need a solution!

---

Out of the Game

Always some people think they are original,
But dont they know that this is just typical.
Just going along and playing the mating game,
All to be included in society's frame.

The fun is ongoing and just to be so cool,
If you don't conform then people are cruel.
So whilst the masses look to their idea of heaven,
Spare a thought for those in the throes of depression.

Pedalling away to ride lifes merry cycle,
To hold on tight must be essentially vital.
Many don't bother and decide not to fly,
Just holding on and finding time to cry.

Forgive me for sounding just a little bit rotten,
As time goes on you will all be forgotten.
At the end of the ride you wonder what's left,
It is only the thought of inevitable death.

---

All consuming

Beautiful and deadly this harmful sight,
Crackling and burning the glow so bright.
Varied colours lure you to it's deadly game.
The lurid and noisome life that resides in a flame.

It comes quickly and silent to all in it's path,
Leaving a trail of sorrow in the deadly aftermath.
The speed of a cobra it's venomous strike,
It's hunger voracious like an unsated pike.

Life and buildings wonderous to behold,
After the fire all has turned cold.
Before the heat claims you comes the tendrils of smoke,
This killer is silent and on your breath will you choke.

A form of protection comes in the smoke alarm,
If the batteries are flat then you may come to harm.
Your only other salvation from the flames parade,
May come from outside in the fire brigade.

---

For Ken L...our mayor

Don't drive the car leave it at home,
Use London Transport if you want to roam.
So I'll leave my car outside my door,
I'll catch the bus and enjoy the tour.

I wont catch the tube to go to the city,
I hear all the money's been spent on committees.
The tracks are in ruins the tube can't go faster,
It's a matter of time before a human disaster.

I'm at the bus stop bracing rain and cold,
On Ken's bold venture now one of the fold.
Irascible and tetchy my ride finally arrives,
Only to find not a spare seat inside.

A voice calls behind me I turn my shoulder,
It's not for me a phone's come out of its holder.
My ears are screaming at this infernal din,
This is the music when all the mobiles doth ring.

Someone gets up a chair is set free,
A melee ensues, who will win this spree?
Survival of the fittest to find a chair,
It's small wonder that our society don't care.

Worse it to come when I journey home,
Waiting for a nightbus will make you groan.
Dead on the hour they are supposed to come,
It's five past twelve, the next one's not due until one.

So I'm sorry Ken this life isn't for me,
I'll keep my car and I'm as safe as can be.
Muggers and malefactors can roam round the bus,
This just proves to me that a car is a must!

---

Connect

Must tarry home and get yourself set,
To wait and see what is on the net.
From needlework to worldwide subversion,
If if you fancy ubiquitous perversion.

Eyes fixed ahead to a glowing flat screen,
Scouring around to find what is horribly obscene.
A secret life and treasures galore,
Ever seeking to find more and more.

Typing away and through the gateways node,
When you are ready you can go and download.
When hours have and you may bored,
Just type some notes on a message board.

Still looking out for quite a while,
There must be something that can raise a smile?
At last a chance for a tiny amount of fame,
Just post a score on a network game.

So easy to speed from distant land to land,
Aaah the beauty of this invention called broadband.
The world wide web is now not so select,
All you need is the ability to connect.

All can communicate and fear not to fail,
Go and be bold and send an e-mail.
Now unleashed this communication dam,
Just beware the curse of spam.

You want to know just where someone's at,
Then go right ahead and have some virtual chat.
A wondrous tool to speak far and wide,
Passing social barriers and crossing the divide.

Old traditions go and new rules are born,
If you don't sign on you'll be left forlorn.
If you doubt the power of what the web can do,
The ponder how this poem got to you!

---

Wronged

I heard some news about your fate,
It frayed my nerves and now they grate,
How people concoct their own conclusions,
Wallowing away in their self delusions.

Now they think they you are alone,
Don't believe that just pick up the phone.
For they believe to throw you from their cage,
What they deserve is unfrequented rage.

Don't believe you've let anyone down,
You're a heroine and these fools are clowns.
Keep your resolve and when you have your say,
There will be no doubt you'll have your day.

The kangaroo courts and apportioned guilt,
Is not the way on how success is built.
Your honour is true and your claim is just,
I just hope their company goes pop and bust!

---

Maelevolent

See you all before me, prey all within my land,
Bow and cower hard now or lest I raise my hand.
Living in delusion thinking you are safe,
Pray hard and sure, lest you lose your faith.

For I am yet a predator looking for something weak,
Confidence has left you for before me you are meek.
Frightful I am before you guilty as the worst sin,
Resign yourself abandoned for the plight you are now in.

I will sate my ravenous hunger upon this humble prize,
The act of my abasement will be the news surprise.
Survival of the fittest is the axiom I now blithely proclaim,
Careless of the apathy I hold your lax laws ever to the blame.

Finally my crimes over and I am in this cell,
Ever looking forward to my appointment with my hell.
Lucifer is proud of the crimes upon your kin,
Ever is he boastful of the beauty of thou sin.

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