Work-Related Snickering

Photo courtesy of Zenith 12000 - Official CHP publication

This page is an exercise of sharing "those" moments on the radio or telephone that either try our patience or get us giggling. Or both!

• "Hey, I'll take that!"
• "No! I'd like that call! I'm close by and I'm helpful!"
• "No, no, pardon me, but I'm really here and can do this, not a problem at all, I'll ship you a copy of the courtesy report."
• "Courtesy report? Ha! I'm JUST around the corner and I'll take it, thank you very much!"

Ever play games with "words" and their meanings? Ever notice how some of our professional lingo is somewhat odd out of context? Many moments are made special simply through the colloquial use of radio codes, and others are stand-alone classics. (If you know the code!)

True Story #1

• "560, 562, are you clear for a meet?"
• "562, 560, negative."

• "562, 560, clear for that meet now."
• "560, 562, it'll be a few, on a call."
• "10-4, I'm back at the station."

• "560, 562, clear now?"
• "Negative, I'm not clear yet."
• "10-4, advise when clear."
• "Shouldn't be too long, I'll advise."

• "562, 560, are you clear?"
• "560, 562, affirmative, I'm clear. Name it."

.....Long pause.... I begin to think NO one in a patrol car realizes "clear" could also mean "transparent."

The officer in unit 562 happened to be an African-American, as a matter of fact, and I hadn't considered that. Whoops! However, it was "562's" chuckling voice that advised me of his opacity....

Mixing up the phone and the radio

True Story #1

"503, Dispatch."
"Dispatch, Bob, er, uh, 503 - go ahead."
I had answered the radio like I do for our administrative phone lines. This happened at the end of my shift, so there were 2 shifts out to hear it. Everyone that came into the station that night went, "(their number), Dispatch Bob, I'm 10-19."

True Story #2

Y'all know at least one of those cheery dispatchers who greet everyone on the phone with "Hon" or "Dear" or "Sweetie," right? Here's one example of that behavior gone awry:

• "Center, 683 will be out serving a felony search warrant at (some address)."

• "10-4"

• "Okay, goodbye, now, Honey!"
• "Uhhhhh, Center, I think I'll stay 10-8... is there something YOU know that I don't?"

True Story #1

This classic moment of transmitting information without reviewing it first occurred many years ago, back when the CHP received emergency calls on an operator assisted line called "Zenith 12000." There are only two dispatchers on duty: one very senior and one fairly new, in the first few weeks of "solo" performance. They were each operating a radio console and handling incoming phone calls. The senior dispatcher hands her a complaint card for dispatch, which she quickly assigns to someone and files the card in the unit's "slot."

She pulls the card, turns it over and transmits at the same time while reading what has been documented as the Reporting Party:

• "Affirmative -- a total idiot on the Zenith line."