I've done a silly trick,
I've gone and ate an earthworm,
And now I'm feeling sick.
I can feel my belly rumbling,
I fear I'll have to chuck it,
But my Dad is sitting on the bog,
And we haven't got a bucket.
My mouth is full of earthworm,
And I've nowhere to spew it in,
Then from the corner of my eye,
I spot the kitchen bin.
I race towards the swing bin,
But, alas, I don't get there,
I couldn't hold it in long enough,
Now there's earthworm everywhere.
My Mum will go ballistic,
Dad will hit the roof,
But that's okay 'cos I'm going to blame,
My little sister Ruth.
I think I'm almost there,
I'm at the bottom of a very big hole,
With mud and worms in my hair.
Something clinks against my spade,
So I hit it really hard,
Oops, I've busted a water main,
And it's flooding the back yard.
I pull myself out of my hole,
And run from the water spout,
Dumping my spade I race for my room,
Before my Dad finds out!
With phlegm quite green,
She's Alice the Spitball Queen.
She skips and smiles,
And shoots phlegm for miles,
She's Alice the Spitball Queen.
She can spit or spot,
With phlegm or snot,
She's Alice the Spitball Queen.
Get out of her space,
Or get grot on your face,
She's Alice the Spitball Queen!
I wrote a poem to The Rock,
A witty, charming patter,
But in the end I screwed it up,
Because...IT DOESN'T MATTER!
