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ALRIGHT, I'M CRUEL...THIS ONE'S LONG |
8:48 PM
I was just sitting here trying to decide if I should add an entry tonight or just type the words "Banana Hammock" three times when I glanced over and saw the news. They were talking about the Peterson murder. A man is on trial for the murder of his pregnant wife. I think this guy should burn. I think he should be put in jail untill he's 86 and then put to death by a large gorilla that is on fire. I want that to be the last thing he sees. He's also an idiot and deserves to suffer for that, too. Anyone who has seen at least one C.S.I. would be smart enought not to dispose of a body in the exact same area that you are know for fishing in. On Christmas Eve. There were witnesses, and he tried to tell the police that he was just fishing on Chrismas Eve.
Brilliant man. Give him a medal. Then, he sells her car only a couple of days after she is reported missing. And it is discovered that he took out a large life insurance claim on her only a few weeks before that. I really don't understand why he's a suspect though. But all kidding aside, he was just found a couple of days ago 10 feet from the border, with his brother's ID, blonde hair and goatee, and $10,000. Now, I don't even think O.J. and Johnny could've gotten out of this one. But he tried anyway. He told the police that his hair turned blonde after swimming in his friends pool earlier.
Pool of peroxide, maybe. Burn. But I still can't get past the Quik-E Mart clerk lady that we heard about a couple of months ago. Here, let me refresh your memory. Here is the opening of an Associated Press story posted on January 30, 2003:
[LONGVIEW, Wash.---Police plan to begin reviewing surveillance tapes from a Longview grocery story where a clerk came forward late last week to say she believes she saw a missing, pregnant California woman sometime in December.
According to a report in The Daily News of Longview on Thursday, the clerk told police that a pregnant woman came into the Market Place and said: "This is serious. I was kidnapped. Call the authorities when I leave."
The 45-year old clerk said she intended to call police but became distracted and forgot, according to a police report. Late last week, the clerk was watching TV and saw a story about Laci Peterson, 27, who vanished from Modesto, Calif., on Christmas Eve.
She told police the report triggered her memory of an unusual pair of customers who passed through her checkout line. The woman appeared to be in her 20s and in a late stage of pregnancy; Peterson was due to give birth to a boy on Feb. 10. The clerk said the woman was a "classic beauty" with sleek brown hair.
The woman was accompanied by a much older man with "strong features" and a ruddy complexion, the clerk reported
The clerk told police she wasn�t sure whether to take the woman seriously.
After they left, the clerk unsuccessfully tried to find a phone book to call police, then became distracted and forgot about the incident. She told police she feels terrible about it now.]
I know exactly how she feels. All my friends joke around constantly about kidnapping. In fact, when I went into work at Party City last Saturday and said "Hey! Who got kidnapped last night?" almost everyone raised their hand.
Of course I believe the clerk. I know that if I was kidnapped, I�d say "Call the authorities," especially if I�d been in a community theatre production of a Sherlock Holmes mystery. I also describe strangers as "classic beauties" and "strongly featured" all the time. Of course, at one point in my life I was trapped on a desert island with nothing to read except a crate of romance novels, but that�s happened to plenty of people, I�m sure.
Then there�s the question of calling the police. She "unsuccessfully" tried to find the phone number for the police. That happened to me once. I saw a wreck, and I wanted to get help. I picked up my cell phone and punched in '9', then '1', and then I froze. I can still hear myself shouting "Damn it! What's the third number?"
The clerk said that she became distracted and forgot to call. Again, that�s happened to me. Whenever somebody wins a stuffed animal from the crane machine, I totally forget where I am and what I�m supposed to be doing.
What do kidnappers buy at the grocery store, anyway?
GROCERY LIST
duct tape (two rolls)
stockings (sheer)
�Hang in there!� greeting card
t.p.
writing paper (for ransom note, nothing frilly)
The Complete Idiot�s Guide to Kidnapping
Now please understand that I�m not making light of this poor woman�s kidnapping. It�s a real tragedy, and sadly these kinds of things almost never have a happy ending. The 45-year old grocery clerk is fair game, though. Either she�s the stupidest person on Earth, which would be no small distinction (because she�d be edging me out), or she�s a shameless publicity seeker which now turns out she must be.
As Shakespeare would say (if I were Shakespeare) "What fools these knuckheads be."
-Kevmaster Flex
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
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T.V. WILL ALWAYS BE MY FRIEND... |
5:02 PM
I was channel surfing last night and I came across a movie. I don't have a clue what the movie was, but I do remember the quick info on it.
"Logical girl becomes unruly."
Now, if that isn't the greatest summary of a movie, then I don't know what is. It was Disney. That explains a lot.
But it made me think of a T.V. show or movie I'd like to make. It's one of those bad cop shows. Yeah, the cop, Bartholemou Jones (I might change the name...) is a cop whose partner is killed. But here's the catch: it wasn't on the job. No, he OD's on Ecstacy. Yeah, the first guy to do it and now Bert (that's what our cop's co-workers call our cop, not his friends...he doesn't have any of those) decides to take down huge druglords instead of street dealers because he likes to think big.
BOOM!!
Just with that alone we have underground settings along with exotic Cuban jungles and the occasional quirky stoner's bachelor pad, gritty characters with potbellies and look like Tom, and an obvious abundance or weapons, cars, and Britney Spears look alikes.
But here's the kicker. He's a cop that doesn't follow the rules! Whoa boy, good stuff! But wait, there's even more! See, he doesn't follow the rules, he makes his own rules...AND THEN BREAKS THOSE!!!
BRILLIANT!!
This is great T.V. Mayble I'll start the pilot and keep you posted.
Title: Renegade B.J.
Pilot Episode Caption: Logical girl sells unruly drugs and "no rules" rule breaker cop must track her down and show her how unruly his lack of rules can be...
-Kevmaster Flex
Sunday, April 20, 2003
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Calley loves me...only in her nightmares... |
3:24 PM
Tom helps me with the ladies...
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:39:17 PM): i cant go to prom with kevin
Ch8 Tom (9:39:26 PM): why not?
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:39:41 PM): because
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:39:44 PM): its prom!
Ch8 Tom (9:40:18 PM): and it's kevin
Ch8 Tom (9:40:18 PM): he's a stud
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:40:31 PM): but its prom!!!!!!!!!!
Ch8 Tom (9:42:22 PM): so?
Ch8 Tom (9:42:26 PM): who do you think you're going to get with you?
Ch8 Tom (9:42:30 PM): kevin really wants to go!
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:42:31 PM): its a special thing
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:42:37 PM): well he can still go
Ch8 Tom (9:42:41 PM): haha are you going to go with janey?
Ch8 Tom (9:42:50 PM): because honestly she's the hottest person you could get to go with you
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:42:54 PM): hahah
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:42:55 PM): umm
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:43:00 PM): i was thinkin a male
Ch8 Tom (9:44:36 PM): like who?
Ch8 Tom (9:44:39 PM): I'm taken
Ch8 Tom (9:44:44 PM): Kevin is all you've got left
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:44:47 PM): hahahah
Ch8 Tom (9:44:56 PM): okay well
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:44:56 PM): there are more than just u and kevin in this worl
Ch8 Tom (9:45:00 PM): just be warned
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:05 PM): whyu
Ch8 Tom (9:45:06 PM): I think Kevin is gonna ask you in a few days
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:06 PM): why
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:07 PM): why
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:07 PM): whwy
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:09 PM): no
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:10 PM): no
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:11 PM): no
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:11 PM): no
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:12 PM): no
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:14 PM): no
Ch8 Tom (9:45:16 PM): I'll try to talk him out of it
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:45:16 PM): omg i am mean
Ch8 Tom (9:45:21 PM): but he thinks you like him
Ch8 Tom (9:45:27 PM): why do you think he says hi every day
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:46:05 PM): no
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:46:13 PM): TELL HIM IM RELALY MEAN
Ch8 Tom (9:46:13 PM): no?
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:46:18 PM): AND VIOLENT
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:46:55 PM): he htinks i like him?????
Ch8 Tom (9:47:02 PM): well yeah
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:47:22 PM): why????
Ch8 Tom (9:47:33 PM): okay you can't tell me you don't flirt with him
Ch8 Tom (9:47:44 PM): every time you walk by you give him that look
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:47:47 PM): what???
Ch8 Tom (9:47:49 PM): like that shy little giggly school girl look
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:47:50 PM): i jes say hi omg
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:47:57 PM): OMG
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:47:58 PM): TOM
Ch8 Tom (9:48:03 PM): well for kevin that's a big deal
Ch8 Tom (9:48:07 PM): MOST GIRLS DON'T SAY HI BACK OKAY?
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:48:20 PM): hahahahhahahha
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:49:14 PM): haha
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:49:15 PM): umm
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:49:16 PM): ahhh
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (9:49:17 PM): grr
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:03:23 PM): tom he can't ask me~
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:03:26 PM): !!
Ch8 Tom (10:03:40 PM): well just say no
Ch8 Tom (10:03:46 PM): just make sure you know what you're doing
Ch8 Tom (10:03:50 PM): because he might be your best chance
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:03:57 PM): i can't say no to peopel
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:04:01 PM): what's that supposed to mean??
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:04:06 PM): \im gunna find a hot date
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:04:15 PM): he can't ask me..id feel too bad sayin no
Ch8 Tom (10:04:33 PM): well what am I going to tell him?
Ch8 Tom (10:04:37 PM): he's got his heart set on it
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:04:38 PM): i dunno
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:04:41 PM): NOOO
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:04:48 PM): find a diff girl for him
Ch8 Tom (10:04:53 PM): hahaha
Ch8 Tom (10:04:54 PM): it's kevin
Ch8 Tom (10:04:56 PM): that might be hard
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:05:13 PM): HOW BOUT
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:05:16 PM): NTO ME
Ch8 Tom (10:06:12 PM): kevin is a good guy
Ch8 Tom (10:06:16 PM): he'd treat you right
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:06:25 PM): i dont' like him like that though
Ch8 Tom (10:07:12 PM): gosh it's just prom you don't have to marry him
Ch8 Tom (10:07:24 PM): although he might expect a little nookie nookie after he pays for the limo and everything
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:07:33 PM): UMM
Ch8 Tom (10:07:34 PM): but just say no
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:07:34 PM): EWW
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:16:41 PM): i been workin on the rail road...allll daaaayy llooonnngg
Ch8 Tom (10:17:19 PM): you better start working on your abs too cause kevin don't like fat chicks
BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG (10:17:49 PM): then im gunna eat liek theres no tomorrow
�BoiSrMyAnTiDRuG� signed off at 10:32:33 PM.
LOVE IS IN THE AIR!!!!
-Kevmaster Flex
Monday, April 21, 2003
2:36 PM
SPRING BREAK IS OVER.
That sucks.
Now we're back at school, doing just what we've been doing for the past year, only now we're exhausted, brain dead, and cranky (more than usual). And from what I've heard, it wasn't exactly the greatest break for some. Personally, I worked everyday except for Monday, Friday, and Satruday. Monday it rained and Sunday was spent with family.
Score.
Sure, I did get to enjoy my smoke filled beach fires (they were fun) and some movies with my ladies, but it didn't feel like the break I needed.
Others I talked to did little or worked. Then again, there's Jeff. First period today, Mr. Fogarty fains interest in our lives by asking about our break.
Mr. Fogarty: Jeff and Summer, what did you two lovebirds do over break?
Jeff: (proudly) Eachother.
Oh, and a word of advice. When Tom says "For the love of God, do not click these links", don't open the picture as one of my friends (let's just call him...Coolver) found out the hard way...
-Kevmaster Flex
Sunday, April 20, 2003
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All about Smoking and Drinking... |
12:33 AM
Alright, so I'm just got back from a bonfire at the beach with my homies and I just realized something.
I smell. And I mean reek.
And yes, I do use Body-Heat Activated Degree Gel. No, I'm talking about smoke. It's in my clothes, my shoes, my hair...it's horrible. Sad thing is, we had a bonfire on Wednesday and I didn't seem to learn my lesson then. No, I smelled like smoke then, washed my clothes, and wore them again tonight. So now I gotta wash them again. Auurgh. Oh, and now my mom's Olds-Pimp-mobile Omega smells like smoke. Eh, maybe I'll just rub some of my Cool Rush scented deodorant on the seats.
Oh, and good news. Lent is over and I am now drinking soda again. I can't quite finish this 2-liter Dr. Pepper, but I'm feeling quite happy and bloated from half of it. Now I'll go lie in bed and burp for the next few hours until it's time for church 'cause I'm wired and can't sleep.
-Kevmaster Flex
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Places to go, things to see |
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This exact page
A Stab in the Face
Screw This Place
The Best Page in the Universe
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site done in notepad by Kevmaster Flex yeah, yeah. i know
i'm bragging that i know how to type |
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