1.That would look odd with my neon lime hair green.
2.I hate mops that sidewalk in the morning without coats.� I hate coats!
3.Uh...yeah...uh...woooo...
4.Yeah, and I jumped in the pool in the middle of December.� It was cold.
5.C-c-c-crap.
6.And Scott said, "Hi" so I ran and, like, jumped in the back of a car.
7.Mit-ten.
8.Yawasha?� Huh?
9.Don't make fun of my porcupine bald spot thing!
*Now Kyle is playing a recorder.� He's pretty good...well...at least adequate.� All of these were dragged from Kyle on March 8th, 2000.� Kyle has 1.034 Star Trek Original Series cards-playing cards.� He had a two-hour delay at an airport and was bored, so he bought them for about 7 bucks.*
10.Oh, damn!� I just cut the wall!� I have a sharp head!
11.Parn?� What? [you know...replace the a with an o?]
12. *while counting cards* 77...78...79...79...uhh...what comes after 79?
13.You're chewing up a glass of water? [this remark was made after I said I was filling up a glass of water]
14.Kyle-My life sucks. Me-No it doesn't...Mr Rogers loves you! Kyle-Well, Mr Rogers can...I'm not going to finish that sentence.
15.Kyle-Aren't you glad your brother's living in...uh... Me-Mississippi. Kyle-Yeah.� I was gonna say Missouri.
16.Kyle-*singing to himself* Me-Why are you singing? Kyle-Cause I'm bored, what does it look like? Me-Well, I can't see you, so I wouldn't know. Kyle- Hear like, then!!!
17.People say I make of myself.� I do.
18.I want to learn to play the guitar, not read music!
19.No hat for you!
*Kyle's here at my house now, looking at an old chat of ours that I printed out.� He looks at the font that I was typing in, and says "You were typing in that?� When were you typing in that?"� I reply, "Maybe you just don't have Papyrus[name of font] on your computer."� Kyle looks up, giving me a confused look.� "A virus?" He asks.� Right at this point, I burst out laughing and practically fall off my bed.� He proceeds to amuse himself by going through my backpack, the chat forgotten.*
20.Kyle and I are talking about the answers in the back of our Math book.� Kyle says "How can they be wrong?!� The book wrote the book!
21.Kyle watches me write all this down, shakes his head, and says "I need to stop talking to you.
22. Scott (to Kyle): DID YOU JUST HUMP MY ARM?!?!
23. Scott: I'm beginning to believe that Kyle's gay.
Kyle: I've been feeling that way ALLLLL day...
24. Kyle: You wanna go into the back room and do the bad thing? Scott: Uh...uh....uh..
Kyle: It's sure taking you a long time to answer that...
Scott: Uh...NO!
25. Hey Scott, can I check to see if your wallet's still in your back pocket?
26. Scott: Kyle's feeling a little horny...why don't you go mess with your cat?
Kyle: *backs away*
Scott: See? Now you know how I feel when you come up and hump my arm...
27. Scott(talking): Scott turns ass away from Kyle. Scott backs his ass into the door.
28. Scott(talking about sex in college): That's what college is for! ...Oh, that and learning. Pssh.
29. Sara: Ok, so what do you want to listen to? [on Napster] Kyle: I don't care. Sara: *clicks on Gummi Bears theme song* Kyle: ...it's the Gummi Bears song, isn't it? Sara: Yeah. Kyle: I was about to say anything BUT that, but...oh well.
30. Kyle: I hate Canada. Damn Flintstone Village...
31. Sara: We need to go somewhere.
Scott: THAT'S ON?!
Sara: Haha! Yeah...
Scott: How long has that been on?
Sara: Since now, I just turned it on like two seconds ago.
Scott: We need to go have hot sex in the bathroom.
Sara: *laughing*
::long pause::
Scott: Kyle?
Sara: C'mon, let's go do something!
Kyle: What?
Scott: I had an idea, but no one seems to like it...
Sara: I don't wanna have hot sex with you in the bathroom.
Scott: Well, I'm-I'm out, then...
Sara: ...You could go have hot sex with youself...let's go over to your house!
Kyle: I don't wanna go over to Scott's house! We'll be over there at 4:00 anyway.
::long pause::
Sara: Why are you putting my little pin thing on your pants?
Scott: *humming*
::pause::
Kyle: Scott!
Scott: *blank look* Hmm?
32. ::After Sara paints Kyle's nails periwinkle blue::
Scott: Get him some nail polish remover...
Sara: I have some, one min--do you want nail polish remover? You'll smell like nail polish remover all day.
Scott: I wouldn't go to school with that on...
Kyle: No, but I'll probably take it off sometime tomorrow.
Scott: How?
Kyle: My mom's nail polish remover.
Scott: She won't notice she has nail polish remover missing?
Sara: Women don't paint their nails every day, Scott
Scott: But still, it's gonna be a significant amount of it missing--
Sara and Kyle: NOT THAT MUCH!
::screaming in background::
Sara: Get that off your face!
33. Scott: I had fun today.
Sara: I did too.
Scott: We learned a lot. We laughed, we cried...
Sara: ...We learned that Sara won't flash us...
34. Sara: Wait, why do I have the most past relationships?
Scott: Because you're a whore.
Sara: I AM NOT A WHORE!
Scott: This is so candid! Oh, wait, NO!
Sara: I HATE YOU.
35. ::on tape recorder::
Scott: Kyle, what do you have to say about the, uh, attraction of Laura to you?
::long pause::
Kyle: Get that thing away from my face.
Scott: There you have it, folks, right from his mouth. "Get that thing away from my face." The love-stricken confessions of a man obsessed with Laura Wood.
Kyle: I'm gonna kill you.
36. Scott: Kyle?
Kyle: What now?
Scott: Are you right now currently imagining Laura naked?
::long pause::
Kyle: *laughs*
Scott: I betcha you are now, though. You might not've been before, but you are now.
Kyle: *mumbles something through laughs*
Scott: What's that? What was that? Please repeat that for the recorder.
Kyle: You suck?
Scott: I don't think that's what it was, Kyle. I think it was more of something along the lines of "you bastard," because you know it's true, and I find that hilarious.
Kyle: I am now.
Scott: *laughing* He admits it.
37. Scott: Hi, we're back on "Kyle loves Laura," and...
Sara: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS SONG IS CALLED.
Kyle: Techno remix!
Scott: Excuse me! Excuse me! I'm trying to do a show here! Okay? So anyway, now, we've just recieved information that Kyle will be going to Six Flags on Wednesday, with guess who--Laura. Now, I find this fascinating for a person who supposedly doesn't even like her that he's going to be buying her cotton candy--
Kyle: *in background* My dad's paying for the tickets--WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
Scott: --and making out with her on the ferris wheel, but no! He doesn't like her! So Kyle, what are your views on this alleged date of yours?
Kyle: Suck my balls?
Scott: Excuse me, we're trying to do a program!
Kyle: I was talking about you, not her--
Scott: We have listeners! We don't want to hear about your sexual escapades with Laura Wood! We don't wanna hear it! Kyle?
Kyle: What?!
Scott: Have you or have you not had sex with Laura Wood?
Kyle: I have not! NO.
Scott: There you have it, folks, yes, Kyle has had sex with Laura Wood. It is known, it is out; we will spread the word, and it's all on tape. *laughs*
38. Kyle: Scott, I know you're dying to ask me some stupid question...
Scott: We're back...on "Kyle loves Laura," the program that celebrates, as well as makes fun of the love between Kyle Steffy and Laura Wood.
Kyle: *punches Scott*
Scott: OoAHG! Once again, I must reiterate, please, do not hurt the host of the show! I'll ask you not to hit me. Bodyguards, take him out, please.
Kyle: Once again, please refrain from using ethlic snurs.
Scott: "Ethlic snurs." Directly from the lips of Kyle Steffy. You gotta watch those ethlic snurs. So let's get back to the more important subject on hand, Laura Wood. Kyle has been plagued by phone calls from her for the last week--
Kyle: Week?! More like two or three days--
Scott: Shut up Kyle. He's gone to the movies with her, he's played volleyball in the pool with her, he's made out with her in the tennis courts, and on Wednesday, he will be going to Six Flags with her. Now, I don't know about you listeners, but I would think this would be a date! Like, they're-going-out sort of thing. Let's ask one of our loyal listeners. What do you think about the relationship between Kyle and Laura?
Sara: Uh...*laughing hysterically for a long time*
Scott: Yeah. Our listeners are dumbasses. So, uh, we're gonna go ahead and take it from my point of view and my opinion, because I don't really even care about anyone else's. I actually think that this whole thing...they're going out. Kyle tries to hide it. He says, "Oh, I didn't go to a movie with her, I didn't...'play volleyball' with her, I didn't make out with her in the tennis courts!" He might even say, "I've never even been with her in the tennis courts!" But you know what? I think that's all a lie.
Kyle: *in background, talking about something completely different* Techno remix, right there.
Scott: I think it's only a matter of time before they take the next step.
Kyle: What'd I say, "Techno remix?" Techno remix.
Scott: And it appears that the technical aspect of the show is being interrupted by annoying music. So I will go now. So adios...goodbye...chao.
Kyle: THANK GOD.
Scott: Oh, I'll be back, Kyle. I'll be back.
39. Scott, Kyle, and Sara: WELPY NASS!
Blog
Hi!� I'm sitting in Kyle's house, on his computer, waiting for him to stay stupid stuff.� It isn't working.� He's talking about something too complex for me to understand; it's really confusing me.� Oh.� Wait.� He's talking about Star Trek games.� I think.� No wonder I didn't get it.� Scott is shining this stupid laser light in my face.� I turn around and smack him for doing all the stupid stuff he's done tonight.� Kyle is now talking about renting the movie "Trekkies."� I gag loudly.� We're watching "Back to the Future" now, on the Sci Fi channel.� Scott was just talking about the theme song again.� I gag again.� Kyle looks over my shoulder, asks me what I'm doing.� "Adding things to my page,"� I reply apathetically.� "Don't worry, Kyle," I add, smiling,"you haven't said anything stupid yet."� Scott is still watching "Back to the Future."� He is, for some reason, completely enthralled by it.� I shrug in indifference.� Sighing, I look around for something to do.� I look through Kyle's compact disks and "Playstation" games.� Turning around, I yell at Scott, "STOP SHINING THAT STUPID [LASERLIGHT] IN MY EYES!"� Kyle brings out his 1997-1998 yearbook, and shows me an old picture of my friend TJ.� I choke, and almost fall off of my chair, because I'm laughing sooo hard.� (Kat, if you're there, imagine TJ with short hair and glasses.� Before he went freako.)� I laugh some more, and shake my head.� Kyle goes back to looking over my shoulder, reading what I'm typing.� I look at old pictures of Sadie, Kyle's cat, and Nemo, my cat, that are pinned up on his little pin-board thingie.� I look around at the DBZ action figures placed at random points throughout his room, noticing each one's position in relation to the sun.� Just kidding.� Kyle is getting really ticked at me right now.� Scott and Kyle are now looking over BOTH my shoulders and reading what I type.� Scott says, "'BACK TO THE FUTURE' IS A COOL MOVIE!� OF COURSE I'M ENTHRALLED BY IT!"� I try to convince Scott to talk to me again.� He says that he can't talk to me anymore cuz I'd write down everything he said.� Kyle wants me to des---OW!� THAT HURT!� I rub the back of my head, where Kyle just smacked me. I throw various blunt objects at him, missing him every time.� Scott wants to know how all these people know about him.� I assure him that they DON'T.� But they soon will.� I smile.� "DON'T!"� says Scott, "DON'T WRITE THAT DOWN!"� Scott's sayin' some pretty funny stuff, but, unfortunately, if I typed it, Kyle would rip my vital organs out.� Slowly.� I grimace, just thinking about it... I'm trying to convince Kyle that if he ripped my heart out, I probably wouldn't be alive to see him rip it apart in front of my face.� He replies, "You have 13 seconds to live after you get your head ripped off."� Scott says, "Actually, it's 15."� "Not that you would be ripping my head off anyway.� It's my heart," I say.� Kyle says he could try....I look warily in Kyle's general direction...he's beginning to scare me.� Scott's talking about moose or something.� Kyle's talking about the Weather Channel, and how he used to watch it at night.� I don't know.� I wasn't paying attention.� I hit Kyle...he hit back!� I frown, hit him again.� He lifts up his hand to smack me again.� I wince, and back away, screaming, "Don't HIT ME!"� Scott reproaches Kyle, saying, "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to hit girls?"� Hehehe.� Scott's cool!� ^-^� Now we're listening to "The Bad Touch," by the Bloodhound Gang...I start laughing ...� pretty silently, actually, but I (again) almost fall off the chair.� I hum along quietly.� I've heard this song way too much in the past few days.� I think it's beginning to corrupt my little mind.� I sigh.� Hmmm.� Kyle's frightened of heights, yet he climbs the tree in his backyard everyday.� "Which, by the way hurt your hand," says Scott.� He comes closer, points to a jagged scratch on my hand.� "Geez,"� he says, "how did that happen?"� I point at Kyle accusingly.� "It's from the stupid thorn from YOUR stupid tree."� I roll my eyes, add a "Duh."� Scott says, "Oh. I knew the thorn hurt your hand, but I didn't know it was THAT bad."� Now we're looking at Kyle's laserlight caps.� Funfunfun.� I add a note of sarcasm to that, by the way.� Kyle puts up this really cool Goku action figure on his shelf.� It's really big, and I told him, "If that falls on my head, I am going to be so ticked off."� Scott stands behind me, saying "Fall on head fall on head, fall on head," quietly.� I do something to tick Scott off, and Scott says, "I would punch you, but---"� he then reaches out and whaps Kyle.� I laugh really loud.� Kyle starts going through his closet, bringing many things inspiring fear and dread in the hearts of mortals.� He comes out in a straw farmer hat thing, and then a jester cap with bells.� I recoil in fear, but still manage to almost fall off my chair while laughing.� A hard task to accomplish.� He then comes out with a marioinnette (I spelled that wrong.) and takes it right back in.� I'm scared of puppets.� I shudder.� Scott brings the puppet back out, and sings, "My name is Paco, I make the taco..."� I smack him in the stomach and tell him to put the stupid puppet away.� My mother calls and says that if I didn't bring my pajamas over I need to go.� Okay, now she's SCARING ME.� I shudder, AGAIN.� Okay.� I have to go, for tonight.� C-ya! -Veggie
