The lie discovered, who are you to trust? And what of this other invisible illusion perpetrated by adults, God.

Grod had been committed to his Christian faith since his teens. Many had tried to smash his faith through intense debates and even threats of violence. But if you want to carry the cross for Jesus, you risk tempting the same fete.

Then as you get older and learn and experience the risks, dangers and pleasures of the flesh, the virgin birth seems less likely, the need for excuses of an unwanted pregnancy more likely, especially in the times when they stoned you to death.

It wasn't with the most Christmassy of thoughts and moods that Grod created his Christmas CD.

His faith was hanging by a thread and his life needing divine intervention, but it just wasn't happening.

In fact the opposite. Just like the other times he'd left it to God's hands. In Grod's hands, despite the troubles, things got done and eventually created. Left in the hands of God, a terrible mess seemed to transpire.

Silent night, holy night.

Well silent night anyway, especially if you're spending Christmas alone, remembering with rose tinted glasses those childhood Christmases. But now spurned by that same family because of lies of another member, to cover what they had done. But was making sure all the remaining family present joined them for midnight mass.

In the past for Grod there had been journeys from afar back to Bridlington for the family to all spend Christmas together. Each year as the lights of the seaside town came into view and his destination and Christmas twinkled before him, Grod used to sing to himself "Oh Little Town of Bridlington."

With this year, like the last, that journey home not possible, it was time to revert to the original lyrics and instead use the time solitary alone to record this traditional classic.

In his teens Grod had sung for the Bridlington Priory Choir, starting in the sopranos, voice breaking moving to the altos and before long then sitting with the tenors. But still unable to read music. It was a case of learning by ear quickly every time.

Each year would be the "Christmas Nine Lessons and Carols." To Grod it was the event that for him announced the start of the Christmas period for real. And it always started with a child soprano singing the first verse of "Once In Royal David's City."

It is one of those carols that seems it was always part of Christmas and always will be. But sometimes singing it's many verses becomes like a musical treadmill. Especially when the words seem to have lost their meaning.

Wintertime in England is dark and cold. Before Christianity it was Yuletide, where logs were burnt to keep warm, give light, and the stored fruits of the harvest is keeping people fed in barren seasons.

Scholars have known for years that Jesus Christ's alleged birth was actually probably around March. That the pagan Yuletide was kidnapped and Christmas put in its place. Though some of the facets of the Yuletide refused to die and became part of the new Christmas festivities.

They say that Christmas is for kids. If that is so then probably one Christmas carol relates to children more then any other.

Seen every year at the various nativity plays, the children gather around the crib and sing "Away In A Manger."

The child was now almost 40. The teenage commitment to a faith, that shaped how he lived his life, had come crashing down. With homelessness looming, a lowly stable seemed like it could have been a luxury.

If the child had known what he knew now, he would not have been singing the baby Jesus's praises, the song would have been sung rather differently. Reflecting the cold, solitary, lonely Christmas with all hope lost.

Grod had tried busking at Christmas. Standing there with his guitar pouring out the traditional carols with much felt sentiment.

But people were to busy shopping, dragging their excited kids around the different shops, their bags full to bursting with sparkly things.

They didn't want to hear the traditional Christmas. So Grod suddenly burst into a lively, dancy, sing-a-along version of "Jingle Bells".

Suddenly everybody noticed and joined in, clapping their hands and singing. This was the Christmas people actually wanted and now responded to.

It's difficult to re-create a cheery sing-a-long when you are alone and deep in depression. It sure makes for an interestingly different version of the song though. Sung with rather a few twists of irony.

They say Christmas is what you make it. Well actually it's what other make it for you. But around twenty years ago Grod even tried his hands at writing a Christmas Song, called "Christmastime"

As he found out, when as if by a Christmas miracle, the song lyrics suddenly were found amongst old Christmas cards he'd saved.

He'd also recorded it at the time, but that tape had long since either bitten the dust or turned to it. But it seemed only right to record it especially for "Have A Grod Christmas" CD and make at least one contribution to the solitary Christmas. Who knows, in many years time they might even use it to open the "Nine Lessons And Carol Services"!

The CD was completed with a data side with videos of Grod singing the carols live under the Christmas Tree in the Abbey Square. (Not featured on this CD-ROM)