About..... "Quiet Time"
"Quiet Time" was written in the early 90`s, about a girl I met at the Greenbelt Christian Festival. And once again, I thought I`d found my true-love.
I`d gone to Greenbelt for a reason. My first engagement had broken up, with much heartache on my side. I`d even moved from London to Bristol to try and start a new life.
Despite my efforts to re-kindle the flame, I came to the conclusion that it was, over. After a period of mourning and self-pity, I decided my quest for my true love required a little more planning on my behalf. After all, if I`d won awards for my business plans, surely I could write a plan to get my perfect match.
After a lot of thought, I came up with the sort of girl that I thought I (And she) could have a long-lasting, rewarding relationship.
My dream girl? Single white female, 21, graduate, Christian, virgin, with a loving spirit but a sense of adventure. Who liked not only watching music and comedy, but also participating in creating it. Enjoyed sports, played tennis etc.
And with a head for business, so that she could help support my business goals (And I support her in her own goals.) Someone who would help share lives chores and also looking for a long term relationship. (...and who also wouldn`t mind dressing up in black leather occasionally!)
Having the goal in mind.. the next thing was planning to meet such a person!
A few days later, still with no plan, I received an unexpected invitation from a friend from a Christian group I used to belong to in London. The offer was to join him and some of his friends to go to the "Greenbelt" Christian Rock festival. He was in a band that would be playing on one of the smaller stages.
I agreed instantly because at that time it was just nice to be invited to anything! I hadn`t really settled down in Bristol yet. It was a chance to meet up with some old buddies and have a good time.
And then it dawned on me... this is how God works! He knows the decisions we make, and if they are good one, he helps provide the opportunities. We must still take advantage of the opportunity though to receive the actual gift.
Greenbelt was surely one of the best opportunities for me to meet someone like that. The estimate I heard was that about 40,000 people were attending.. most of them young, some of them girls, the vast majority would be Christians... surely.. even I stood a chance of landing just one.
At the festival I wore not just one loud shirt, but two! Both clashing brilliantly. The under one, long sleeved, black, tied-died voodoo dolls designs all over it and a few mysterious signs (Campden Market, £20!).
A very mysterious looking shirt... and bound to get a re-action from a Christian (ie "That`s a strange shirt to be wearing at a Christian festival?"), and I could start up a chat about "It`s not what you wear but what you are like inside...." and let things develop from there.
On top of this shirt, I wore another, but completely different loud shirt.
A short sleeved shirt, worn unbuttoned, of a deep but bright red with black tiger-like stripes. I wanted anyone I spoke to be able not only to remember me, but to be able to pick me out in the crowds of people... lest they want to come over and chat with me again. And I wanted to be noticed.
I had a really good time at the festival. It`s a very friendly festival. Strangers approach you and ask you to pray with them, come and join the guitar jamming/chorus singing. People openly chatting about their faith, or lack of it, regarding Christianity.
And the festival wasn`t frightened to tackle head on some real-life issues. They had even invited three white witches to give a seminar on their covens, their likes and dislikes about Christianity, and to receive questions from the floor. It was packed out. Inviting the opposition! What a stunt!
And lots of bands, Christian and non-Christian, poetry, comedy tents, and of course counselling, worship, and lots, and lots, and lots, of Christian literature on every subject imaginable. As well as lots of tapes of bands only Christians would listen to, and the obligatory "Jesus Loves You" car stickers and rainbow shoe-laces.
I had a great time, but come late afternoon on the Sunday, I was still very much a lost single guy. However, I was looking forward to the concert in the evening, where an unexpected dream would come true.
To my surprise, I heard that Steve Harley & The Cockney Rebel were playing live on the main stage. It had been a silly ambition of mine to hear him sing live his biggest hit "Come Up and See me (Make Me Smile)"
A number one in the late seventies, it gave me great inspiration in the eighties. When I was studying for my final years exams for my Business Degree at Hendon, London, I hit on an idea to get some extra cramming in.
I recorded important revision essays on tape, then took my dog, "Trouble" , for long walks around the park ,listening to Economic Theorem!
If I had a bit of spare tape left at the end, I`d record this song on it. As soon as it started playing, revising was over and I could relax. The song starts with "You`ve done it all, you`ve broken every code." which was very apt as well!
I passed my degree and also gained a Diploma in Marketing. I swore the tapes worked.. and that I would make the effort to try and get to see Steve Harley sometime live and thank him!
I`d also put my name down for the early evening "Greenbelt Talent Contest", my last chance of being "Noticed." I decided to have a quick practice and decide what song I was going to do. I went back to my tent, got my guitar, and found a quiet spot, and just started going through some of my songs.
It was some time later that I noticed that a girl who had sat down about 20 yards away, hadn`t moved for the last twenty minutes. I wondered if she was just lost in her own thoughts, or was listening to me.
In the pause while I wondered whether to shout out a quick "Hi!", and apologise for the noise pollution, she shouted across..."Don`t stop! They sounded wonderful.. are they your songs?"
She came across and we got chatting. Within ten minutes I was looking up at God. Here I was chatting up a 21 Christian, virgin, graduate. Who seemed to be quite enjoying my company. She was working voluntarily at Greenbelt as a Steward. Soon it was time for her to shoot off and go stewarding, but she promised to turn up and give me support at the Talent contest later.
She didn`t show up, which was a godsend, as I didn`t do that well. I was too busy trying to spot her in the crowd!
I went and saw Steve Harley and filled the ambition of hearing him sing one of my fave songs live and was at the front heartily singing every word with him and shouting "Thanks for my degree Steve!".
But towards the end, I found myself turning round and looking back over the sea of faces, trying to spot the one I`d seen earlier. Greenbelt was finishing, and I didn`t have any way of contacting her again.
At the end of the concert I waited by the exit, again trying to spot her as the crowds streamed back to their cars, ready to leave it all for another year. As the place grew deserted, I wondered back to the place I`d met her. In the dim hope that she had been trying to find me, and chosen to go back to the same spot at the same time.
And there she was. Sitting smiling in the twilight.
"You won`t believe this" she said, "I`ve just been praying to God for you to come in the next ten minutes."
We sat and chatted some more, and decided we`d both like to meet up again.
The problem was, I lived in Bristol, was working in London, and she lived in Southampton.
Over the next few weekends I would drive to London, do my shows and discos, then drive across to Southampton, then finally on home late Monday afternoon.
Normally I was completely shattered from the performing, driving, and lugging heavy equipment around. All my money went on petrol, driving an old car prone to breaking down, which I couldn`t afford to replace. The entire journey left me a nervous wreck each time. And I`d sleep most of my time with her.
On one journey, from London to Southampton, the engine was only firing on three cylinders and my tax had run out the previous month. It was bucketing down with rain and the driver side windscreen-wiper kept coming detached. I`d got several drenching trying to fix it. The heating system had ceased working weeks previously.
I was cold, wet and miserable. It was 1:30am and I was shattered and well behind schedule. She had said she would try and stay up for my arrival, but was up early on the Sunday.
The cars engine fault had occurred on the way down and had caused me to be late to my shows and even miss my first one. So I hadn`t earned the money I`d expected and was already well behind on my bills and rent.
Eventually the car ground to a halt in a lay-by with the engine overheating, next to a signpost saying Southampton 60 miles. I just stared out the window and watched the wiper blades. Now working perfectly, but the engine had stopped. It was like they were laughing at me.
Where was God now? Why was he doing this to me? Here I am struggling to make an honest wage, run a business that helps spread happiness, trying to be an unselfish person, seeking genuine true Christian love... and here he was persecuting me. Maybe he didn`t like the fact that she was now only a 21 year old, Christian, graduate.
I`d kicked the car too many times in the past and ended up with a sore foot on too many occasions. It wasn`t a solution, though a great release.. and it was a very cheap car with dents in it anyway. (Not from my driving I hasten to add!)
I decided the best course of action was to give the engine time to cool down, I did have spare oil and water on me. I never actually got round to fixing the leaky radiator hose, though I spent much time filling up the radiator after each journey.
I sat there and philosophised. If I hadn`t made this journey to Southampton, I`d have probably stayed with friends in London. And this... wouldn`t have happened.
I questioned myself why I was even doing it? For the short time I actually spent with her, it cost me a fortune in petrol and hours travelling there and back. Why hadn`t I had the foresight to add "...and local" in my initial prayer?
And then I remembered. Because that short time with her, I found peace. I found love, I found harmony. That quiet time with her in the mayhem of my life was the best bit of each week. With her, I relaxed. Which is why I slept so much there. Normally I`m a nocturnal creature.
And with those thoughts, I noticed an A4 writing pad on the drivers seat. I decided to use the time for the engine cooling constructively, and to write her a song. Maybe then she`d let me off for being so late (Again.)
And so "Quiet Time" was written. In a layby in the early hours, in a broken down car. I had my guitar with me in the boot, and suffered another drenching getting it out. But in 20 mins the song was written.
I started the car up, and managed to limp my way to Southampton. I got there at 3:40am.
Just short of her house was some traffic lights. They were turning to amber. But it was pretty obvious that there was no other cars around.... just one approaching in the far distance.
I did something I`d never done, or done since. And jumped the lights. They had just turned red as I went through them.
That car in the distance was of course, a police car. Who flagged me down.
It seemed my misfortune was going to be complete.
Fortunately, God smiled on me. After a quick lecture in the rain, on that traffic lights were there for a reason, even at that time of night, they decided to let me go. Except the male officer decided he`d just go and check the tax disc.
Just before he got to the windscreen I quickly said to him "By the way I`m completely lost... do you know where xxxxxxx Street is?"
He stopped and replied across to me "Well it's straight across there".. (Which I knew anyway!) I ran behind my car and stopped near the back and said "Sorry, I didn`t quite catch that?"
The plan worked, he turned around, came towards me, away from the windscreen and repeated his simple directions.
"Thanks for your help" I answered, quickly getting into my car and starting it up, "I think I`d better go and get some sleep while there is still something of the night... been a long, long day. Thankyou, goodnight!"
And drove that short distance breathing heavy sighs of relief and muttering "Why God, when I was thanking for you for getting me here, did you do that?"
Sometimes I don`t appreciate Gods sense of humour and his poor timing.
Alas, a few weeks later she decided that a long distance relationship wasn`t what she wanted, especially as all I did when I saw her was fall asleep. She got the impression she was boring me. That the relationship wasn`t practical.
I was more disappointed then hurt. At heart I still was coming to terms with my broken engagement.
A few weeks later a friend lent me a four track recorder, for a weekend.
I used that weekend to record "Quiet Time" and spent most of the weekend on that one song.
At the end I quickly reeled off a few of my other songs, trying to get at least a decent recording of the guitar and voice, with the possibility of adding keyboards etc. at a later date.
That later date never happened, but some of the songs on the CD are those simple "live take" recordings, with a few extras thrown in. And of course, my new song, "Quiet Time."
At Christmas time I sent a copy of this tape to a few friends, as a personal present, and included a copy and card for my ex, who had inspired "Quiet Time".
She had moved on, unbeknown to me, but did eventually get it in the January. I know this because she rang me, to say she was now engaged, but loved the tape and especially "Quiet Time".. and to please, please stay in touch. And of course have never seen or heard from her again since. But she had given me a song I still love singing and a popular song of my live set.