The following is a cross-over fic between “Buffy: The Vampire Slayer” and the late, great show “Sports Night”. All Buffy characters were created by Joss Whedon, while all Sports Night characters were created by Aaron Sorkin, who went on to make “The West Wing” after Sports Night ended. The fic is set after the end of the first season of Sports Night, and during the early part of the fourth season of Buffy (the cast’s first year of college).
**** Control Room ****
Kim:: “One minute VTR, two minutes live.”
Natalie:: “Good show, everybody.”
Dana:: “Okay, let’s see that graphic on 10.”
Natalie:: “Hey Dana, could you please be nice to the people in Graphics this time?”
Dana:: “Because they fear me?”
Natalie:: “Because they fear you.”
Dana:: “I’m the producer. They should fear me.”
Natalie:: “But they did try hard this time....”
Dana:: “They should fear my wrath and respect my authority.”
Jeremy:: “They’re just graphic designers....”
Natalie:: “Jeremy dear, did we ask for your opinion?”
Jeremy starts to respond, but Dana cuts him off.
Dana:: “No, we didn’t. Alright, alright, I’m being nice to the graphics people. See, I’m not even looking at the screen, I’m being nice.”
Natalie:: “Elliot, could you put up the graphic for 10 on the screen?”
Elliot pushes some keys on his panel, and a picture pops up on one of the monitors. The second it does, Dana screams:
Dana:: “Buffy, the Record Slayer?!”
Jeremy:: “It was Dan’s idea.”
Dana:: “That explains a bit. And that font... with little stakes for the ‘f’s in Buffy... it’s like something from a bad WB show!”
Natalie:: talking into the phone to the graphics department:: “I think she wants you to work on that one a bit more....”
Kim:: “Rolling video, one minute live.”
The video introduction to Sports Night starts playing on the monitor, with a voice-over of some of the lead stories, as we cut to...
***** the anchor desk*****
Kim:: voice coming over the loud speaker:: “Rolling video, one minute live.”
Dan:: “I’m just saying, I think she’s cute.”
Casey:: “Sure, and she’s also a good half of your age.”
Dan:: defensively:: “I’m not saying I want to DATE her, I’m just saying she’s cute.”
Casey:: “Sure, Dan.”
Dan:: to Alyson, from make-up, who is touching up his hair for the last minute:: “Don’t you think she’s cute?”
Alyson:: “Who?”
Dan:: “Buffy, the Record Slayer.”
Casey:: “I so am not saying that name on the air.”
Alyson:: thinks for a moment:: “Yeah, but I wouldn’t be crimping if I were her. Am I done here?”
Casey:: “We’re good, thanks.”
Alyson heads backstage.
Dan:: victorious:: “See?”
Casey:: shaking his head:: “We need to find you a date, my friend.”
Dan:: “That’s all I’m saying.”
Camera Man:: “Five. Four. Three.” :: hold up two fingers, then one, as the music play, studio lights come up.
Casey:: “Welcome to Sports Night. I’m Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell.”
Dan:: “Those stories plus a UC Sunnydale freshman walk-on gives her all to drive a stake through the heart of a world record.”
Casey:: “You’re watching Sports Night, on CSC, so stick around.”
Elliot:: “And we’re out.”
Kim:: “Two minutes back.”
Dan:: “You know, I think you two are underestimating the value of a good crimping iron....”
******* The Previous Night ********
It’s a quiet night, with a half-full moon and few clouds. Things appear to be peaceful in the middle of a grassy field, in Sunnydale, California. Suddenly, a bright blur of light flashes by, with a beat up blue van in hot pursuit. The light darts across the field, and stops in the center, turning and seemingly sizing up its pursuer. The van pulls to a halt, and the side door slides open to reveal....
Buffy:: “Keeping me up on a school night... you’re going to pay for that. Hit me, Will.”
Willow:: “Almost got it...” :: goes back to chanting an incantation over some crossbow bolts.”
Oz:: “Should it be doing that?”
As they look, the ball of light
turns and plunges towards the ground.
Buffy grabs a crossbow bolt, just as Willow finishes casting the spell
on it, loads it, and fires in a smooth motion, hitting the ground seconds too
late as the light passes through the ground and is gone.
Buffy:: “Great. Where did it go now?”
Willow:: nervous, worried that she didn’t do the spell fast enough, consults the book:: “It says that the Verilun demons can hide in the ground in the face of danger, emerging only when the danger has passed, or when they sense a potential victim above.”
Oz:: “Hey, we’d have got it if the ride up had been a bit smoother.”
Willow:: smiling slightly:: “Thanks, Oz.”
Buffy:: “So all we’ve got to do is camp out here until it decides it’s safe to come out, and tag it with one of these bolts. Not like anyone is going to be wandering around here for it to eat....”
Oz:: “Uh... Buffy?” ::turns the headlights to high beam, revealing a sign at the edge of the field that reads:
“UC SUNNYDALE TRACK TEAM RACE COURSE”
******* The next day *******
Buffy:: “I don’t know about this... I mean, I’ve been a cheerleader, but I don’t do these race-y things...
Xander:: “Hey, I joined the swim team to catch a demon, once, and I lived. Barely.”
Giles:: “Willow has cast the spell on your wristband, so all you have to do is touch the demon with it, and it will be destroyed. And whatever you do, don’t draw attention to yourself. Stay towards the middle of the group, just enough so you can make the team and keep up with the demon, but not so much that you’ll be noticed by the media.”
Buffy:: “Got it.”
****** The track try-outs **********
Buffy looks around her, at the other girls trying out for the track team, as they wait for the qualifier to start. The race begins, and Buffy is staying towards the middle of the group, when suddenly she notices the demon emerge from the ground. It’s very hard to see it under broad daylight, and most of the other racers probably mistake it for a mirage, or a cloud of dust, but Buffy has seen it before, so she knows what it is. The demon takes off after the lead runner, and Buffy breaks into a sprint in order to catch up. Hearing a competitor catching up, the leader runs even faster, and Buffy is only able to gain on her because of her Slayer speed. Suddenly, the demon senses Buffy’s pursuit, and gives up on the lead runner, darting ahead of her on the course. Buffy chases it, not noticing that she has left the rest of the runners far behind her, and finally catches up with it, touching it with her wristband and destroying it as she crosses the finish line. Then, she turns and realizes how far ahead of the rest of the racers she is, and looks over at the timekeeper to see him staring at her in shocked astonishment.
Buffy:: “Oops....”
****** The Sports Night conference room, that afternoon*******
Dana:: “Okay, how long are we?”
Elliot:: “Six minutes.”
Natalie:: “Casey, how long is your MLB recap?”
Casey:: “Three thirty-five.”
Natalie:: “Can you make it 3:10? I need some time for the NBA preview.”
Casey:: “Done.”
Dana:: “Great. How about features?”
Dan:: “You’d have to ask Jeremy about that.”
Casey:: “Where is Jeremy, anyway?”
Everyone in the room looks at Natalie.
Natalie:: “WHAT?! We only missed ONE run-down meeting....”
Dan:: “We didn’t say anything.”
Natalie:: “You implied it. There was a strong implication....”
Dana:: “Alright, work this out before the next run-down. Unless anyone has any stories we’re missing....”
Casey:: “Isn’t this where Jeremy usually bursts in with a big event from some sport no one’s heard of?”
Natalie:: “Be nice!”
Jeremy:: bursts into the room, half out of breath, gesturing with a hand as he talks:: “A freshman walk-on at UC Sunnydale just broke the record for the mile at track qualifiers.”
Natalie:: “Not. ONE. Word.”
Dan:: “Jeremy, I love college women’s track as much as the next guy, but breaking a school record at try-outs isn’t exactly national news.”
Jeremy:: “The WORLD record.”
The room stands silent for a moment.
Dana:: “Cut 14 through 16, put them in the twenty block.”
Natalie:: “I’ll trim 19 but I need two minutes...”
The meeting descends into chaos as everyone scrambles to fit this breaking news into the night’s script....
***** The Summers Home, that night******
Buffy, Xander, Anya, Willow, Oz, Giles, Joyce, and Dawn are sitting in front of the TV watching Sports Night.
Casey:: “A very unusual day at UC Sunnydale’s track team tryouts today. Freshman walk-on, and hometown native Elizabeth Buffy Summers decided to try out for the team this afternoon, and the results were spectacular.”
Dan:: “Summers started off the race in the middle of the pack, but broke away to finish in world-record breaking time. Tragically, she appears to have sprained her ankle in the run, and family members stated that she probably will not be able to compete again.”
Casey:: “Congratulations, Buffy, and best of luck.”
Dan:: “You’ve been watching Sports Night, on CSC. For Casey and myself, good night.”
Joyce:: “I still don’t see why she couldn’t have stayed on the team...”
Buffy:: “Like I have time for track team practice on top of Slaying.”
Willow:: “And don’t forget that paper for Professor Walsh’s class.”
Oz:: “Yeah, Pavlov’s dogs frightened me BEFORE I heard about them from her....”
Dawn:: “Can I draw on your aircast?”
Buffy:: “Do I have to wear it afterwards?”:: takes off the aircast she got for the purpose of pretending to have a sprained ankle, and hands it to Xander, who passes it on to Dawn
Giles:: “Well, perhaps it’s for the best that you stay out of the national spotlight. Too much attention and people might have started asking why you are so much faster than ordinary people....”
Xander:: “And hey, you’ll have an entry in the world records. Wonder if you get a certificate for that?”
Buffy:: “Who would have thought that my niche was running....”
Anya:: “I cursed a runner once....”
Everyone:: “NOT NOW!”
************ END ************
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