*Posting through the Motions*
*Night, on the BCS boards*

AnGeL X: Every single night, the same arrangement, I go out and post arise.
Still the gutter posts are in the basement,
Nothing here is clean,
*makes airquotes* Nothing here is "nice".

Suddenly, a bunch of posts in all caps appear, and AnGeL X loads the delete page while singing.

AnGeL X: I've been making shows of posting polls,
Just hoping no one knows,
That I've been posting through the motions,
Not working from the heart,
Too much work to barely even start....

She hits the delete key, and the rule-breaking posts explode into a cloud of dust. However, a new set of bad posts, appears.

AnGeL X: I was always brave,
And kind despite this,
Now I find I'm wavering.

Get bitched out by Fox,
You'll find this fight just
Doesn't mean a thing.

*while she's loading the delete page, another post appears, from the same poster using a different name, and bashing one of the BtVS cast's personal life*

Bazoar: She ain't got that swing!
AnGeL X: Thanks for noticing.

*Assorted rule-breaking posts dance across the boards with such frequency that Michelle jumps back from her computer screen, shocked, for a moment.*

Bazoar: She does pretty well with posts from hell,
But lately we can tell,
That she's just posting through the motions,
Faking it somehow.

*As this verse has been going on, Michelle sits back down, cracks her fingers, and hits delete several times in rapid succession*

Bazoar: She's not even half the girl she... *sees all his posts disappear in puffs of smoke* Oww!

AnGeL X: Will I stay this way forever? Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor? *frees a prisoner of the bad posts*
Spike: How can I repay you?
AnGeL X: *spoken* My dressing room. Now. *singing* I don't want to BE....
Posting through the motions,
Losing all my calm,
It doesn't even seem,
The board is still for me,
And I just wanna feel....*dusts the last offending post*
Alright!

*The Good Morning Thread, the next day*

AnGeL X posts her good morning regards.

Zoey: Good morning, Board Momma!

Zus: Hey, no problems with CotN last night, I hope?

AnGeL X: What? Oh yeah, no problems.

She looks around, and finally asks, tentatively...

AnGeL X: So there's no research? Strange spoilers, random threads?
*looks around, everyone shakes their heads* Good! Good. So did anyone... yesterday... did anyone, um, burst into song? *Everyone stops, stares, and suddenly a flurry of people agree*

Mandikins: By Joss!
Simon: We thought it was just us!
GrrrlArgh: I figured I was brainstorming for the haiku quiz!
Terpsichore: I mean, I thought it was just cause my name sounds like a musical instrument.
GG: We were talking, and then it was like we were in a musical.
XW: That would explain the huge backing orchestra. I figured my heiney had just learned to play some instruments.
JuniorK: There was a whole number about the chat room.
Michael: There were these dancing web filters.
Kitty: I wanted to go shopping.
Wwolfe: I was singing about peace, quiet and Hackensack. Oxymoron, I know.

Pouncer: *to AnGeL X* What did you sing about?

ANGEL X: *evasive* I don't remember. But it seemed perfectly normal.

Lanna: Has it happened before? Do you think it'll happen again?
Leoff: *checks the recaps* Not in my records...
Missy: I wonder what could be causing it?

*I've got a Theory*
Ryno: I've got a theory,
That it's a spoiler,
A dancing spoiler, *stops and thinks*
No wait something isn't right there.

JuniorK: I've got a theory,
We're in a chat room,
And we're all trapped inside
This wacky singing nightmare.

Noggins: I've got a theory we should work this out.
It's getting eerie what's this cheery singing all about?

Sowasred: *jumps, excited* It could be 'shippers!
Some U/C shippers!
Which is ridiculous cause
Shippers they were persecuted
Gutter good and love the slash
And smutty power and I'll be over here. *hides*

Heather: I've got a theory, it could be Chevy!
*silence, everyone stares at Heather*

Leoff: I've got a th....
Heather: *screaming, rock out* Chevy's not just cute like everybody supposes,
Played Ford on S-N-L with some comedic poses,
And he is such a dream boat,
What does National Lampoon need him for, anyway?
Chevy!
Chevy!
Is such a dreamboat! *fireworks*
*Heather looks around, everyone is staring at her*
Heather: Or maybe Sethie?

~AJ~:I've got a theory,
We should work this fast.
Mo: Because it clearly
Could get serious before it's
passed.

AnGeL X: I've got a theory,
It doesn't matter.
What can't we post if we're together?
How many posts can this board weather?
O/T Summer?
We've all been there.
The same old threads,
Why should we care?

All: What can't we post if we get in it?
We'll post any spoiler inside a minute
We have to try,
We'll pay the price
It's post or die.

AnGeL X: New spoilers go up twice! *mutters* Or three times, or four, or five...

All: What can't we post if we're together?
Wwolfe and XW: What can't we post?
All: How many posts can this board weather?
Wwolfe and XW: If we're together....
All: There's nothing we can't post...
Heather: Except for Chevy.

Iphi: THAT was different.
Scotty: Definitely a change from the USUAL morning post.
AnGeL X: So what is it? What's causing it?
Black Dahlia: I thought it didn't matter.

ANGEL X: Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my board-administrative boots, but there's definitely something unusual going on here and that doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies. Well, alright, it usually leads straight to the gutter, but more importantly, I think making everyone else sing is probably against one of the board rules.

Geogirl: Well, is it just us? I mean, what if it's just a musical good morning thread or something?

AnGeL X looks at the next post, titled *Of the SINGING day*.
Buhbuhraven: *triumphant* I've GOT... The quote I want!
Respondants: *doing somersaults as the music swells* He's got the quote he wants!

AnGeL X comes back to the Good Morning thread.

AnGeL X: It's not just us.
Jeff: So, what do we do now?
Leoff: I've got 20 questions that'll solve this mystery! *starts running around, asking questions*
Cazadora: *looks at AnGeL X, who is sitting down, looking tired, with concern* Is something wrong, Board Momma?
AnGeL X: I don't know... I'm just tired I guess. Don't know why this is all worthwhile if random folks are going to make us sing for no apparent reason....

The boarders all look at her, concerned, and then...

Note: Lyrics of this song are adapted from poll responses, originals are reprinted at the end of the fic. Sentiments expressed within this song are, within lyrical expression, the views of those singing them.
*I post on your board*
Talia: I get on random buses,
A four hour trip to your place.

*Angel X looks up, surprised at another musical number*

Talia: Dodged questions from my parents,
To see all of you face to face.
Surleigh: Now I've flown around.
Won't keep my credit cards down.

All: I post on your board.
Flan: Friendship makes it seem....
Woppy: Worth all of the loss of sleep.
All: The board's my home as well.
How we've come to be,
Posting here so frequently.

*AnGeL X smiles slightly.*

Just me: I've met my favorite people...
Nibs: I wouldn't have otherwise met.
Steffi G: I bowl more than I used to.
Ryno: Worth even decreases in sex.
GrrrlArgh: Distracts from job woes.
Masher: Theme song trivia's all that I know!

All: I post on your board.
Robin: Cool friends here for me,
Bluerose: Changed my life positively
All: The board's my home as well.
How we've come to be,
Posting here so frequently.
You make us relieved!

*boarders start attempting a synchronized dance number, which ends tragically with everyone in one massive dogpile, causing AnGeL X to chuckle*

LTG: Pop culture threads at night.
BBR: Cool people always inside!
All: I post on your board!
Dawnmeister: Sharing all my dreams,
More than others ever see.
Simon: Got a girlfriend here as well.
Bowen: Friends who've yet to meet,
Using only hugs to greet.
para (noid): The board makes me complete!
All: The board makes us complete!

*All posters go for a huge group hug with AnGeL X*

Board makes us complete....
Board makes us.... DOGPILE!!!!

AnGeL X: Yipe! *laughs from under the mass group hug/dogpile*
 

*in another thread*

Da Wonder Sheep: I'm sure we're missing some impressive board orgy or something.
Robin: Look, SOMEONE has to solve this crisis.
Digitalis: She's right.
Robin: *beams at the admission* SEE!
DWS: But I want to be groping people!
Digi: This is EXACTLY why I wanna...
Robin: *trying to calm things down* Look, this isn't going to solve....
 

*Rather Raise Hell*
Digitalis: This is the sheep that I'm planning to strangle,
Her ass is mine.

*Robin sighs*

Digi: I'm gonna take her to maim and to mangle,
Vengeance is mine!
But I'm now on the board,
And so I know we should be friends,
The only trouble is... I'd
Rather raise hell....

Da Wonder Sheep: She is the one who is going to carry
Me to the ferry,
And so I will wait for our meeting at Vegas,
Then she must die!
And so I'll wait for this,
A main event you can not miss,
The only trouble is... I'd
Rather raise hell

Digi and DWS: Yes, I'd rather raise hell...

Digi: Dumb sheep.
DWS: Smart species!
Digi: I'll shave off all her fleeces!
Robin: *shakes head at Digi* She shoots posters to outer space, I
don't know why.
DWS: She's right!
Digi: *rolls eyes* A charmer.
Robin: *glares at Digi* Together we will harm her.
Digi: GA gets Sheepy best lines right from Sat Night Live!

Digi, Robin, DWS: This fight gets kinda scary.
DWS: Holding out is ordinary!
Digi: *holding sheep shears* This'll be just temporary....
Robin: *considering this* She's a sheep, of course she's hairy.
Digi, Robin, DWS: And that's all very well, but STILL I'd rather raise hell.

Robin: When things get asked, Digi
Thinks she's always right but,
The sheep is on my side
Because she knows that I am.

Digi: Don't mess with
Hell Goddess,
Cause we are always right now.
And Sheepy...

DWS: THAT'S NOT WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAID, TREBEK!

Digi: *shakes head at the SNL line* Told ya verses ago!
She....

*Robin dumps a large pile of fabric on top of Digi.*
Sheepy: *starts quilting* Look at me, I'm quilting crazy!
*With that, the three of them get into a massive brawl, as several posters wander on, confused*

Woppy, Grrl Argh, Surleigh, Nibs, Dawnmeister, Just me and Bluerose:
Who knows....
What's going on here?
LTG: *looks for a thread she started, but sees it's been pushed off
the board by the scuffle* My post's in archive...
Buhbuhraven: But I think it's over holdouts...
Ryno: Wasn't caused by sex I noted.
Flan and para (noid): Maybe they all love each other
anyway!

*the brawl continues, as Talia sneaks on slowly*

Talia: Listen.
I'll kill em.
They're going down at Vegas.
That sheepy one is gonna be the first to fry.

*BBR takes advantage of Talia's solo and runs up and pantses her. She angrily grabs a chair and starts chasing him with it.*

Digi: *emerging from the scuffle* That stupid Ovis.
Steffi G: That's Latin there I notice!
Digi: The best chance for the Ovis
Is to run and hide!

*the four sigh sadly*

Digi, Robin, DWS, Talia: I lied, I said it's easy.
I try, but Vegas
Is so far off!

Robin: Is the sheep really friend or foe?
DWS: *looking at a quilt she left by the side of the battle* Will my quilt still be safe from mold?
Talia: Will they all become my victims?
DWS: Will I get a chance to kick them?
Digi: When I get them in Sin City,
That is when I'll have my vict'ry.
Talia: You are crazy!
Digi: You are dreaming!
Robin and DWS: Is our enemy a demon?
Talia, Digi, Robin, DWS: We could really raise the beam
In making this board a hell!
But still I'd rather raise hell!
I swear I'd rather raise hell!

*They start walking in separate ways*

Digi: *spectacular hellgoddess light show* My lightshow's here.
DWS: You all need a kick.
Talia: *gets her chair again* Nothing to see, you're all going down.
Robin, Digi, DWS, Talia: Rather raise HELL!

Leoff: *runs on, sobbing hysterically* HOW CAN ANYONE WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS?! *sobs*
Cazadora: Look, it isn't THAT bad, I'm sure the 8th question wasn't ACTUALLY necessary to solve the mystery...

*No Missing Questions*
LTG: *storms on angrily* GA, why don't you put that joke away?
I'm asking you please NO!
It isn't right, it isn't fair!
Missing questions get us nowhere!
I think that pollster wasn't there!
Why can't you let it go?

*Suddenly, DWS tackles her*
DWS: THE DAY IS MINE!
LTG: Why you!
*Digi, Robin, Talia, LTG, and DWS begin brawling again*
Masher: I hope AnGeL X is having better luck...

*Somewhere ELSE*
Angel X knocks on a door to an old building. It is answered by none other than...

Anthony: Hey, sexy Board Momma! *shakes head* The sun sets and she appears.... Come to serenade us?
Angel X: So you know what's going on?
Ant: Yep, I've seen some pretty funny things going on the past few days. Rest of the gang started belting out all kind of things on the subway, and I had to let them drink their way under the table to quiet them down.
Jojo: *sticks head up from under table, holding a brown paper bag with a bottle in it* I reshemble that remarks.... *thump*
Ant: I, thankfully remain immune.
Angel X: Whatever. Look, I'm just covering the bases here... is there any chance the Evil Gang is behind all this?
Heather: She's accusing us! Paaaaaain!
Sophie: Yeah, just cause we over-run the spoiler board every chance we get, she presumes we're responsible for every problem there.
Ciara: Well, we ARE responsible for most of them.
Angel X: Look, I didn't mean any offense, we're just all confused, and I wanted to check...
Ant: We'll save you the small talk. Don't know a thing.
Jojo: I'll have.. whatever. heeeeesh having... *thump*
Angel X: Gee, why so bad moody?
Ant: It's nothing. Glad you could stop by.
Angel X: Alright then....

*Post in Peace*
Ant: I joined.... many years ago.
*Angel X rolls her eyes*
But newbies make me feel,
Like it wasn't so.

*walks right up to AnGeL X, looks her in the eye*

Ant: And why you come to post with us,
I think I finally know... mmmmhmmmm..

Ciara: *comes up behind AnGeL X* You're scared,
Ashamed of what you feel.
You'd help us fill the spoiler board,
You know they couldn't deal.

*Heads back for more booze*

But whisper to the Evil Gang,
It doesn't make it real....

*trails off, as Jojo starts struggling to recover his bottle from her*

Sophie: *walking up, front and center* That's great,
But we don't wanna play.
Cause messing with the board is fun,
More than I can say.

*lies down on the table*
But since we're evil blokes to you,
We're saying stay away....

*Jojo upends the table in seizing his bottle back from Ciara, sending Sophie to the ground with a loud thump*

All: And let us post in peace.

*They all get up, walk around in a circle around AnGeL X*

Let us post in peace,
While everybody sleeps.
Let us take this board and bury it
under posts six screens deep.

*Ciara and Sophie make burying motions with their hands, but are also drunk, and stagger a bit*

We will post until they all must say
Will someone please delete?
So let us post in peace.

Jojo: Yoush know,
Yuh *hic* think that we're inshaaaane.
And you wish thersh a purpose here,
A reashon to explain... *takes swig*
But it'sh not true,
We're telling you,
So don't trysh to complaaaain....
And let us post in peace.
*Suddenly, Ciara steals his bottle again, and he runs off chasing her*

Heather: *puts an arm on AnGeL X's shoulder* We know, we should go,
But we'd rather post,
Like some crazy pests.

*lets her go, gestures around the room*

We're just chatting here,
On our posting quest.
And some crazy fool,
had to NAME US BEST,
So evil we, must be I guess....

*with that, the Extended Evil Gang, Talia, Ozzie, Mo, Bagel, and Bob run on for the chorus*

All: So let us post in peace.
Let us post in peace,
While everybody sleeps,
Let us take this board and bury it
under posts six screens deep.

*Jojo climbs up on a chair, leaping off to tackle Ciara, and both go crashing into a corner*

We will post until they all must say
Can someone please delete?
So let us post in peace.
Why won't you let us POST in peace?

*They all look around*
Ant: Hey, where'd she go?

*The board*
AnGeL X: That was pointless. Dawnmeister, stay here and post the CotN thread for me.
Dawnmeister: Stay here? But I'd rather go out and investigate!
AnGeL X: I'm not going to see you get hurt! Now stay out of trouble!
*Dawnmeister sighs, when suddenly...*
Bos: *singing* Does anybody even notice?
Dawnmeister: HEY! That song belongs to Buffy's OTHER sister!
Bos: Oh. Sorry. *leaves*

*Dawnmeister's Lament*
Dawnmeister: Does anybody even notice?
Does anybody even care? *suddenly, stops and thinks about this scene*
*spoken* Oh crap... EEEEK! *starts to run, but comes face to face with...*

*Armadillo's Song*

Green Armadillo: Why'd you run away?
Don't you like my fic?
Why don't you come reply?
I guarantee a cameo...

*hands out a casting call poll*

My fic's lacking in imagination,
So I'm writing strictly using imitation.
So what do you say,
Why not read a while?

*holds up insane
amounts of his fic*
I'm insane like this.
I write way too... much.
When you gotta read,
When you want to laugh out loud...

*holds up a white-board with fic ideas, wipes it clean*

Got ideas, and I'll be running,
Too many fics by now,
I think I'm done in.
But now we've got a fic,
That's what it's all about.

Cause I know what you post, girl.
I know just what you post girl.

Dawnmeister: So you're like a good poster?
Bringing the fic in?

GA: *shakes head* All these boardfics, they go on too long.
And all my energy, starts to burn out, and I long...
All those posters just back relaxing,
All my boardfics are just way too taxing.
That's the penalty, when life is but a fic....

You all brought me down, into this board,
So I could write your scene.
But I've had enough, so I'll make you sing,
Until you wanna quit!
Cause I know what you post girl....

Dawnmeister: Well you see,
Wasn't me.
Cause I'm not really legal.

GA: I'll post fic, girl.

Dawnmeister: What I mean, still sixteen,
So this board fic must stay clean.

GA: I can write board fictions anew then,
And still cast boarders, like you are a shoe-in!

Dawnmeister: Well that's great,
But it's late.
And I'd hate to delay her.

GA: Fiction's cooking, I am the author,
I'm insane, but I'm still a fast talker.

Dawnmeister: She'll get pissed,
If posts are missed,
I post things for Board Momma!

GA: *freezes mid-step* Board Momma?
Dawnmeister: Yuh-huh.

GA: Hm... I need a minion. But where am I going to find someone who adores me so utterly...? AH! *hollers* Sheeps!
DWS: *comes bounding up* I LURVE YOU, GA!
GA: *smiles* Find her. Tell her... Tell her everything. Just bring her here. I want to cheer Board Momma up.
Dawnmeister: *cringes, hoping this isn't going to lead to mass embarrassment*
GA: Now we're partying,
That's what it's all about.

*The board*
AnGeL X returns to find a brawl raging over who exactly let the Sheep escape.
AnGeL X: GUYS! I thought we're supposed to be working on solving this mess!
All: *pointing at various folks* HE/SHE STARTED IT!
AnGeL X: *sighs* Look, I've had ENOUGH of this. I'll do my best to solve this singing thing, but then I'm out of here. Clean this mess up, and help me get to the bottom of this.

*The boarders stand, shocked, looking after her mournfully as she storms off.*

Note: Lyrics of this song are adapted from poll responses, originals are reprinted at the end of the fic. Sentiments expressed within this song are, within lyrical expression, the views of those singing them.
*Posting all the way*

Bowen: You're a genius, goddess and sage,
Your boards support us, give us all a stage.
para (noid): I know you're tired but we all just love this place.
All: So we....

GrrrlArgh: You're so amazing, we know we depend,
On you here beside us 'til the very end.
Bluerose: Yes, you're so amazing for
Keeping this here still.
All: But we...

All: We wish we could post the right words,
To keep you in this board.
Woppy: Don't want to be an orphan!
Robin: We'll gladly lend a hand!
All: We wish you will stay here
Simon: And though we'd understand....
All: We're just posting all the way...

Flan: The friends around you, wouldn't leave at all.
BBR: So buck up, trooper, have a posting ball.
Talia: I'll get you some strippers, take you to the mall.
All: But we...

All: We wish we could post the right words,
To let you rest at last.
Just Me: We will get you James Marsters!
Steffi G: We just need you that bad.

Nibs: Because we LURVE you!
F=j: Dealing with bazoars so fast.
All: So we're posting, all the way.

Digi: We wouldn't wanna trade ya, Momma,
You're excellent and rock!
Masher: Quitting would cheer the baddies,
So please just don't give up!
LTG: You've given us so many friends.
Dawnmeister: *from her captured state* So we just send you *HUGS*!
Ryno: Cause we'll post for you, all the way.

All: We'll always post for you, all the way....
 

*Robin stands, looking over the group, and realizes Buffychick isn't here.*

*Wish I could stay*:
Robin: I post here as well...
God how can this be?
Choosing others over me,
I want my tentacle.
BC, don't you see,
There'll be nothing left of me,
You made me believe...

AnGeL X: Believe me I don't wanna go.
Robin and AnGel X: And it'll grieve me cause I love you so,
But we both know...
AnGeL X: *unison* Wish I could post the right words,
So you could take a stand,
Wish I could play Board Momma,
Just to lend you a hand.

Robin:*unison* Wish I could have my BC just this once,
But I must do what I must,
She's left me here, I can't adjust,
We're done,

AnGeL X and Robin: And I just wish I could stay here.
Wish I could stay.
Wish I could stay.
Wish I could stay...

Robin leaves, as suddenly Sheepy bursts in the door.

*The Minion's Song*
DWS: My master has Dawnmeister hostage at the board, and at midnight he's going to, well we're not sure what, but it'll be bad.
Bos: I've been taken hostage?! But I'm here!
Zus: No, that's Buffy's OTHER sister!
Leoff: What does he want?
DWS: *nods at AnGeL X* HER. *smiles* All done. Ooooh, fabric! *quilts*

AnGeL X: Great. I'll go deal with this. *heads out*

*Post for the Spoilers*
AnGeL X: *walks past old threads* I posted spoilers and Fox came for me,
So I could not promote their show,
Why are they heels?
My site helps them for real.
I want the spoilers back.

Now the whole gang, they turn to me,
To fix the problems of the board.
I'd like to stay, but it'll still end someday,
I guess it's all the same.

So I will post for the spoilers.
Cause where else can I turn?
I will post, for the spoilers and let them...

Robin: That BC girl, is hurting me,
But with the board gone I have no doubt...
To see her now, the board must still be found.
*thinks about AnGeL X* I'd better help her out.

GA: Cause she is drawn, to the spoilers.
Which she has rightly earned.
Robin: She will never learn.
GA and Robin: And she will post for the spoilers and let them...

Boarders: *sitting around, thinking about what to do*
Will this do a thing to change her?
Are we leaving Dawnmeister in danger?
Is Board Momma too far gone to care?
DWS: What if Michelle can't defeat him?
Digi: Sheepy eyes is RIGHT, we're needed.
Evil Olive: Or we could just sit around and glare. *GLARES*
All: We'll see it through, that's what we're always here to do,
So we will post for the spoilers...

*the boarders all head off*

AnGeL X: I know some day that I must leave.
I guess my board cannot be told.

Bowen: What can't we post?

AnGeL X: And when I go,
Can they work on their own?
Will they go on alone?

Bowen: ... If we're together?

Buhbuhraven: She came from S6 much graver.
Robin: I'll post for her, then I'll save her.
Digi: Every thread is turning out so wrong.
AnGeL X: Posting through the motions....
Robin: No I'll save her, THEN I'll post her.
Talia: I think this line STILL is filler.
Leoff: What's it going to take for posts to start?
ALL: These endless posts are finally ending in a blaze.
GA: She will come, TO ME.

EVERYONE: So we will post, for the spoilers.
The post of no return.
And we will post for the spoilers, let boarders....Learn.
Let them learn.
Let them learn.
Learn, let them learn!

*AnGeL X arrives at GA's thread*

GA: *smiles* Showtime.

AnGeL X: Alright, GA, cut it out. You have any idea how much of a pain 'shipper bickering is in song?
GA: *shudders* You're a braver person than I.
AnGeL X: So you'll stop this?
GA: You kinda have to sing first. Sorta in the script.
AnGeL X: *sighs*

*Life's a Board*
AnGeL X: Life's a board,
And we all post our parts.
And when the season starts,
We open up our hearts.
It's alright, if some post comes out wrong,
We'll post responses strong,
And you can post along.

Where there's Joss, there's hope.
Every show's a gift.
Spoilers can come true.
Woot woot while you watch.
So hard, all night,

To be like other girls
To fit in this internet world
Don't give me sites

*the boarders arrive on the scene*
Digi: She needs backup. Everyone, GET GA! *mass dogpile ensues to subdue GA*

AnGeL X: Don't give me sites.
Give me something to post about

GA: *being dogpiled* AAaaaaahhhh!

AnGeL X: I need something to post about

GA: *being dogpiled* AAaaaaahhhh!

AnGeL X: Life's a board, you don't get to repost
And every little note,
Can make it that much worse.
Still my friends don't know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be posting for
All the joy Joss sends
Board family and friends
Buffy twists and bends
Knowing we won't end
Well that depends
On if they really know
On if they know enough to know
That when I bow
There's still a crowd

*looks around, realizes the boarders have solved the problem on their own*

AnGeL X:I have no pain.
No fear or doubt
Cause this board came out of heaven.
So that's my refrain.
I never need yell, cause my posting boards are heaven.
I think I am in Heaven.
So give me something to post about
Please give me something....

Kurupt: Life's not a board
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this, it's posting
The pain that you feel you only can heal by posting
You have to go on posting
So all of us are posting.

Dawnmeister: The hardest thing in this board is to post in it.
GA: Well THAT was a show-stopping number.

Talia: We did it, Michelle! Want some strippers?
AnGeL X: *smiles* What am I going to do without you guys?
All: DON'T LEAVE!
AnGeL X: Alright, alright.
All: YAY! Woot! Woot!
Jojo: Yeash, AnGeL X and the boards too? *thump*

*Armadillo's Song (Reprise)*
GA: What a lot of fun,
You guys have been real swell.
And there's not a one who won't say this ended well.
All those spoilers, no need for concealing,
SAY you're happy now, Once more with feeling up
Now I've gotta run, see you all FARE-WELL!!!!!
*dashes off in a light show before someone has another fic idea for him*

Bos: Am I supposed to sing now?
Dawnmeister: Oh, alright, you can help.

*What do we post from here?*
Dawnmeister and Bos: What do we post from here?
Dawnmeister, Bos and AnGeL X: What do we post from here?
Vixen: The board fic's done,
Need new source for fun,
Vixen and Woppy: So we post our vict'ry cheer.
All: What do we post from here?
Mo and Sowasred: Why is our path unclear?
When our home the board is near?
All: Understand, we'll post hand in hand,
*everyone holds hands* And we're NOT ALONE IN FEAR.
Leoff: *with question pad* TELL ME!
All: What do we post, from here?
All: When will the show premiere?
DWS: Bugger this. *goes off to quilt*
All minus DWS: When will wildfeed near?
All minus DWS and AnGeL X: The summers close,
With a spoiler dose,
You can TELL Buffy is near.

AnGeL X: *stepping out for a breath of fresh air* Hey.
GA: Hey.
AnGeL X: Well, we got through that without you embarrassing me too badly.
GA: Will wonders never cease?
AnGeL X: GA?
GA: Look, you don't have to say anything

*singing*
AnGeL X: I posted spoilers and Fox came for me.
GA: I joined...
AnGeL X: So I could not promote their show.
GA: So many years ago.
AnGeL X: But though they're heels, their show still has appeal...
GA: Your site still has appeal...
*spoken*
AnGeL X: We don't have to kiss or anything, do we?
GA: *chuckles* I'll waive that clause just this once. Another time, babe.
GA winks, tips two fingers to his forehead in a salute, and smiles before walking off into the night. AnGeL X just shakes her head and smiles, in spite of the silliness of it all, and looks back in on her beloved board.
*singing*
All: WHAT DO WE POST FROM HERE! Gr. Argh!
 

The End

Author's Note: This was in ways a hard fic to write (by far my longest one-shot), and in ways an easy one, since the words already reside in my brain regardless. :-) I wouldn't have ordinarily even CONSIDERED another board fic after BotR, but then "Posting through the motions" got stuck in my head, I realized it was perfect for Michelle, who didn't get to star in my last one, and thus the ball got rolling. With such an important star, I even got her consent before writing, though she prolly had NO idea what she was agreeing to. When I put out the call for tributes (carefully disguised as a poll), I got so many responses that I couldn't ask more than once, and had trouble fitting all the responses into the songs I had designated for the purpose. Guess y'all love the board as much as I must to be doing this still. Thanks to Heather and F=j for reviewing the manuscript, and hope you all had fun reading. And check out the responses below, they're pretty inspirational, and make me wonder if y'all couldn't be far more entertaining than I if only you had sufficiently little sense to spend as much time as I do writing this stuff.... :-)

Green Armadillo
August 24th, 2002

Just Me - Wow, my answer to this question could literally go on forever, so I'll shorten it to just say I've met three of the most important people in my life through the board.
They know who they are so I'll just leave them with...
*smch!*
*Stop the rocking... stop the rocking!*
*Spike Nipples!*
Nibs - I've met people who I have come to really care about that I otherwise never would have met. And it provides much amusement thoroughout my long and boring work day.
SteffiG: I bowl a lot more than I used to.
Ryno: ~being here is less conducive to great sex
GrrrlArgh - Well, they have helped me connect with people when I've not been around my RL friends, they've been a super distraction when I was in crappy jobs, and in general, they make Buffy all the more fun.
Masher - I sit in front of the computer for hours trading theme song trivia. I'd say this is rock bottom, but I know there's so much more to come.
Robin: I've met some REALLY cool people through them.
Bluerose: Very positively, methinks.

LTG: I turn on my computer early in the morning and late at night to troll for random pop culture references. I've travelled to places I'd never visit on my own. I've made fabulous friends.
BBR - met some interesting people
Dawnmeister - I feel like i have a whole other group of great friends. I probably share more with you guys than i do with my RL friends :)
Simon: Mmmmmm lets see, GG is now my girlfriend and I've met various lovely people from the boards.
Bowen (Part of a general essay, rest in a later part): The board is important to me because there's no where else on earth that you can go 24 hours a day and be recieved by friends. Everyone supports everyone else through good times and bad, and brings humor and sympathy when needed. The General Board quickly went from just a place to talk about Buffy to being a world wide community of friends. Friends who, even though most of them have never met, know the good and the bad about each other. Friends, who upon meeting for the first time face to face, greet with hugs instead of awkward handshakes.
  para (noid): ask me in a year... but it did... a lot.

Bowen (from a general essay): To me, AnGeLX is a combination of genius, goddess, and sage for creating these boards and allowing us to be who and what we are. She could easily have quashed all non-buffy conversation, but instead she allows it when appropriate, and even creates special times (Summer Rules) when it's encouraged.
para (noid): Take a break and let the board cleaners do the job for a while when the board gets on your nerves... I love this place.

GrrrlArgh: Michelle, you're so amazing. We all love you; frankly, we all depend on you. I would be so sad if you left us.
Bluerose: Aww.. Michelle, you are amazing for putting this all together and keeping it an absolutely unique and highly enjoyable environment for so many years.

Woppy: Is this true???!!!! I don't want to be an orphan!!!
Robin: That we love her and that if she ever needs help or a break, we're here for her.
Simon: "No one will think any the less of you for quitting but we love you loads and you have our full support in what ever you do"

Flan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! She has created a wonderful meeting place for many friends, how could she give that up?
BBR: buck up little trouper
BBR (from a note): the board is a place for fun times and Angel X is hot
Talia: I already got the thing to cheer her up. Michelle and I are officially in charge of the male strippers in Vegas. So HA!
Just Me: James Marsters has expressed an interest in being her love slave, provided she carry on all her good work with the boards
Steffi G: [sings] "I really need this board. Please God, I need this board."

Nibs: I LURVE you Michelle!!
F=j: hmm.... well, I'll say this- ya gotta admire someone who can deal with as many bazoars as she does in a day and still keep her sanity.

Digitalis (from a note): I want it to be known that AnGeL X is the most excellent and faboo Board Momma and we wouldn't trade her for anything. Or even have the thought of trading her. Because she ROCKS! *hugs*
Masher: --Quitting cheers ME up.
LTG: "You've helped me make over 100 friends. It's one of the greatest gifts I could have been given."
Dawnmeister: Just *HUGS*
  Ryno: ~what? are you kidding? please be kidding!!!
 

Musical Guests

By Digitalis:
...as sung by AnGeL X
Every single day, the same arrangement
I go out and stop the fights
On the spoiler boards, they're never ending
They don't read the rules
That one's in love with Spike.
I've been making shows, so all will know
That we want to get along
So I've been
Growing with the notions
Watching all the boards
Bezoars can't penetrate my heart!

By BuhbuhRaven:

I've Got A Theory

LEOFF
I've got a theory
That it's a post board
A wacky post board --
No, something isn't right there

DIGITALIS
I've got a theory
Angel X is dreamin'
And we're all stuck inside
Her wacky Broadway nightmare

BUHBUHRAVEN
I've got a theory
She should work this out

BOWEN, LEOFF, DIGITALIS, AND BUHBUHRAVEN
It's getting eerie
What's this cheery
Singing all about?

BUHBUHRAVEN
It could be bazoars
Some evil bazoars!
Which is ridiculous
'Cause bazoars they were postecuted
Wildfyre good and love the spam
and woman power and I'll be over here

BOWEN
I've got a theory
It could be mice!

LTG
I've got a theor --

BOWEN
Mices aren't just cute
Like everybody supposes!
They die on your desk
And wash them off with hoses!
And what's with all the cheese?
What does Heather
Have a cult for anyway?
Mice!
Mice!
It must be Mice!
...Or maybe Masher

DIGITALIS
I've got a theory
We should report this fast

DIGITALIS AND LEOFF
Because it's clearly
Getting weirder as the time passed

JENNJENN
I've got a theory
It doesn't matter --
What can't we post
If we're together?
What is it about this place
With Grim,_,_) wearing feathers?
XW's ass?
We've all been there
The same old polls
Why should we care?

JENNJENN, BOWEN, LEOFF, LTG, DIGITALIS, AND BUHBUHRAVEN
What can we do
When we get into it?
We'll hit the ez board
Within a minute
We have to post
We'll pay the price
It's do or die

JENNJENN
Hey, I've posted twice

JENNJENN, BOWEN, LTG, DIGITALIS, BUHBUHRAVEN AND (LEOFF)
What can we do
If we're together?
(What can we do?)
Where's the next hoot
Screw the weather?
(If we're together)
There's nothing we can't post

BOWEN
...Except for mice

By Bowen:
GA:
I've got a theory that it's a gremlin,
A dancing Gremlin, nah something isn't right there...
Laura:
I've got a theory, some poster's dreamin
And we're all stuck inside his wacky broadway nightmare...
Anthony:
I've got a theory we should work this out...
Board Momma's screaming, tearing her hair out!
Leoff:
I've got a theory, it could be troikas!
Which is rediculous 'cause troikas they can't sing at all
and love the Warren, and try to take over the world.
MO:
I've got a theory, it could be XW!
*silence*
LTG:
I've got a the...
MO:
XW ain't just ass like everybody supposes,
Shes got those nachos, gas and strange little silverfish
And what's with all the bandannas, what does she
need to cover, anyway? XW, XW, must be XW! or maybe Vixen...
AnGeLX:
I've got a theory, it doesn't matter!
What can't we face if we're together?
What's in this place that we can't weather?
Board Gremlins? We've all been there,
The same old trips, why should we care?
What can't we do if we get in it?
We'll see it through within a minute!
We have to try,
Or pay the price
We'll move the boards,
Hey I've moved twice!
All:
What can't we face if we're together?
Mo:
Except XW...
 

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