Disclaimer: I don’t own the BCS board or its residents, or pretty much anything else appearing in this fic, except for any and all trout.
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Somewhere near LA.....
A lone figure enters a dark, lair-looking cave, looking around nervously and expecting to be attacked at any time. As his eyes adjust to the low light, he sees the broken and mangled bodies of posts, some clearly killed by the delete function to put them out of their accidental-new-thread misery, and some eaten by something... else. The figure pulls back the hood of his sweatshirt, nervously, as he looks for the lair’s occupant.
James Van Der Beek: “Hello?”
The response comes as a low growl from the darkness: “Your powers will have no effect on ME, Van Der Beek, if that’s what you think will save you from me.”
JVDB: *nervously, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from* “I’m not here to dominate you... I’m here to offer a deal.”
Voice: “Then you are a FOOL if you think I want to work with you.”
Van Der Beek turns around, still looking for the speaker, when suddenly his throat is grabbed by a massive scaled arm, and he is lifted off fully several feet off the ground, clutching helplessly at the arm that lifts him.
1969 Gremlin: “You think you’re popular with the ladies? Maybe we should find out how popular you will be... in NINTEEN SIXTY NINE!”
JVDB: *unable to breathe, barely getting out a few words* “I... can... get you... the board...”
’69 Gremlin: *eyes narrow, pondering, finally tosses Van Der Beek halfway across the room casually, with a snarl* “YOU mock me. You know that they fled to Voy to escape me... that I cannot enter as long as the anti-60’s field remains in place.”
JVDB: *finally having recovered enough breath to speak* “Not for long....”
’69 Gremlin: “Why should I trust you?”
JVDB: “Because I need you. Since you survived your battle with GA, you’ve been the biggest threat ever to the board. I don’t know how you gained the ability to affect ALL posts by turning them into new threads, and not just posts you’d already sent to 1969, but I don’t care. We need a distraction for the boarders. And you, I’d imagine, want a touch of revenge.”
’69 Gremlin: “You couldn’t destroy the anti-60’s field generator if you wanted to. Only the most trusted of the boarders have access.”
JVDB: “You’re right. I can’t. But I’ve got people working on that problem....”
Bos: “Where IS everyone? We’ve got to figure out what to do about the WB situation...”
Bracken: “We can only assume that whomever is behind this is the same person behind manipulating Cameron a while back. But WHY would they want to? What have they got to gain?”
Saria Angel: *thinking things through* “Someone with access to Cameron would have to be SOMEWHERE in the entertainment industry.”
Berry: “Great, that narrows us down to all of Southern California.”
JodithGrace: “But who in Hollywood would have the power to control people’s minds?”
Lindsers: “Someone from a future we thought we prevented....”
Erinn: “But how could the Dawson’s Freak future still exist? We stopped the war that allowed it to happen!”
Anthony: *walking into the room* “You haven’t read enough X-Men alternate future storyline.”
Berry: “Hm.. he does have a point. It always seems like scary alternate futures find different ways of happening when you stop the first ones.”
BoB: “So who do we go hunt down to stop this from happening?”
Mitsy: *from the corner, where no one had noticed her* “James Van Der Beek.”
Roxymoron: *shudders* “Dear god, she’s right. I’ve heard about his hypnotic powers....”
VampyrSlayer: “Alright, it’s settled, we hunt him down, and find out who’s using him to control people’s minds.”
Anthony: ‘There’s a problem....”
Kira: “What?”
Anthony: “Every time someone’s tried to pull off this sort of plot, they’ve had to try and take us down first.”
Laura: “He’s right. But who haven’t we beaten who hates us enough to to attack us?”
Kuzibah: “The 1969 gremlin....”
Chloe: “But we’re protected from him by the Anti-60’s field generator... so if anyone wants to let him loose on us, all they have to do is take it out...”
SocKs: “Then we don’t have a choice. We’re going to have to assemble a team to guard the generator.”
The boarders organize, and choose to send Erinn, Bob, Chloe, Hazel, Mitsy, and Anthony to guard the generator, while the rest of them plan...
The Anti 60’s field generator,
several hours later....
Chloe: “I’m bored.”
Mitsy: “We could have an N’Sync sing-along!”
Everyone: “NOOOOO!!!!”
Bob: “I know! We can talk about my Swedish lesbian lovers!”
Erinn: “Mom told me they were just a bunch of guys named ‘Sven’.”
Anthony: *suddenly perks up* “Hey guys, did you hear something?”
Hazel: “I didn’t hear anything.”
Mitsy: “Hey, I heard it too!”
Bob: “We’d better go check it out.”
Chloe: “Okay, Hazel, Ant, stay here.”
The four of them head off.
Hazel: “This makes me nervous... it’s like someone is trying to split us up.”
Ant: *punching some commands into the generator control panel* “Well, that’s the plan, yeah.”
Hazel: “WHAT?!” *sees what Ant is doing* “Wait... that’s impossible... you can’t be...”
Suddenly, she hears Kira shriek, and Bob shouting something at Mitsy in the distance before all is silent.
Ant: “Sorry babe... I just think it’s time for the 60’s to come back in style.”
Ant knocks Hazel across the room, and the last thing she sees is Ant and Mitsy setting a chain reaction on the field generator before she passes out....
The room has mostly cleared out, VS, Lindsers, Bracken, SocKs, Bos, Saria, and Jodith are the only ones left, as everyone else has wandered off to bed.
Bos: “But why WOULD the Freaks want to move Buffy off the WB? Lowering the number of people watching the network is only going to hurt Dawson’s too...”
Bracken: “Purity of the evil... without the positive influence of Buffy to counter the other stuff on the WB....”
Saria: “We’d be left with pure evil.”
Jodith: “How do we stop pure evil?”
Suddenly, a loud explosion is heard coming from the direction of the generator.
SocKs: “Something’s happened!”
VS: “We’ve got to fix it, before it’s too late...”
The two of them run off towards the generator.
Lindsers: “Great. What else could go wrong?”
Suddenly, a large scaly form bursts through the wall.
Bracken: “GEORGE!!!”
’69 Gremlin: *bats Bracky halfway across the room, angrily* “I have NOTHING to do with that horribly animated CGI snake!!!!!”
Bos: *looks at the creature standing right in front of her and screams shrilly*
Jodith: *pulls Bos out of the way as the gremlin slashes at her* “That’s what Buffy’s OTHER sister would do!”
Lindsers: “I don’t know how you managed to destroy the generator, but you’re going down!”
Lindsers charges the gremlin, and does a round house kick, which it bats aside. It slashes downwards with a clawed hand, and Linds does a side flip to avoid the blow, smacking the gremlin in the face with her elbow. It roars in pain, swinging at Lindsers head level. She ducks, and the gremlin’s arm tears into the wall, but before Lindsers can come back with a witty response, part of the wall above where the gremlin hit collapses, pinning her to the ground, helpless.
’69 Gremlin: “I’ve had enough of you!” *the creature holds its hand out in front of it, and a ball of energy forms on its palm, and suddenly lances out towards Lindsers, to send her back to 1969.”
Saria: *running* “Mom! NOOO!!!!” *Saria jumps in front of the ball at the last second, and it strikes her. She falls to the ground, motionless.*
Lindsers: “Daughter!!!!”
Jodith: *tackles the ’69 gremlin, rushes to her sister’s side* “Saria!”
Saria: *shakes her head, opens her eyes* “I... I’m fine.”
’69 Gremlin: “WHAT?!”
Jodith: “You heard my sister... you can’t touch her.” *gets up, stands defiantly between the Gremlin and the rest of the boarders*
’69 Gremlin: “But that’s impossible! I can now affect ANY boarder I choose to!”
Saria: *hops to her feet, stands by Jodith* “Well, you’re going to have to do better than that!”
The gremlin howls in fury, and unleashes a massive beam of temporal displacement
energy at the sisters, completely engulfing them. After a few seconds, the light clears to reveal... them standing
completely unharmed.
’69 Gremlin: “But how....”
Lindsers: *having freed herself from the debris* “Guess my girls are just better than you are.”
’69 Gremlin: *eyes widen* “They’re.... NO!!!!!” *runs off*
Bracky: *getting shakily to her feet* “What did you do to it?”
Saria: “I don’t know....”
JVDB: “Good work, everyone.”
Mitsy: “It wasn’t a problem. NOW those boarders can see the real me!”
Anthony: “Krista, Krista, Krista. When we’ve taken over everything, and I’ve got all the women in the world, I’ll still hold a special place in my heart for you....”
JVDB: *sighs* “Anthony... you’ve been a great asset... but I think you’re missing the point.”
Ant: “How so?”
JVDB: “We plan to dominate the minds of the entire world!”
Ant: “Yeah...”
JVDB: “And all you want is to use our plans to pick up women!”
Ant: “Your point?”
JVDB: “STOP IT! YOU MUST THINK BIG! THE BIG PICTURE!!!!”
Ant: “Hey, no need to shout, man.”
JVDB: *frustrated* “GAZE into my massive forehead! BEHOLD it’s power! YIELD TO MY DEMANDS! You will NOT think of women ANY MORE!!!”
Ant: *winces severely, appears to be in some pain, finally* “Yes... yes sir, the women don’t matter for anything... all we need to do is take over the world.”
JVDB: “There. That wasn’t too painful, was it?
Suddenly, outside there is a mighty thunderclap, and Anthony gasps for air.
Ant: “Ahh!”
He stumbles over some furniture and falls to the floor. He cries out in pain and fear.
Ant: “Erin! ERIN!!!!!!”
VS: *lends Erinn a shoulder as she limps into the room* “What happened here?”
SocKs: “The generator is totaled... the ’69 Gremlin will be able to get in here freely until it gets fixed.”
Chloe: “The last thing I remember is Mitsy suddenly knocking out Erinn...”
Bob: “And we left Hazel with the generator and Ant... HEY, it was YOUR idea that we come here in the first place!”
SocKs: *hitting the security camera tape* “Wait, let’s see what happened here before we start accusing people....”
The tape plays...
Hazel: “WHAT?!” *sees what Ant
is doing* “Wait... that’s impossible... you can’t be...”
Bob: “What’s going on here, Hazel?!”
Hazel: “You don’t understand what’s going on!”
VS: “You protected Ant when we formed ‘Neuter Ant Now’ by helping him found ‘Horny Fertile Men, Women, And Turkeys Of The Board Unite’, and now you were the only one who could have stopped him from trashing the board, and you didn’t succeed... this looks really suspicious. We NEED TO KNOW...”
Hazel: “The curse...”
Erinn: “Curse?”
Hazel: “Anthony is meant to chase, not to live without, women. One moment of true non-horniness, of complacency, one moment where he is not thinking of women, and his soul is taken from him.”
VS: “Then, if somehow, if... if it's happened... then Anthgelus is back.”
Hazel: “I hoped to stop it. But I realize now it was arranged to be so.”
Chloe: “But we all love him!”
Hazel: “And now you will have to kill him.”
VS: *shouting* Unless he kills us first! Hazel, this is insanity! People are going to die!”
Hazel: “Yes. It is not justice we serve. It is vengeance.”
VS: You are a fool. We're all fools. *storms out*
Ant: *frightened* “Oh, no.” *slumps down to the floor*
Mitsy: *has been watching all this, quite puzzled, walks up to Ant* “Hey. You okay? You want me to call 911?”
Ant: *suddenly stands up* “No. The pain is gone.”
Mitsy: “You sure?”
Ant: “Yeah.”
JVDB: “NO LYING DOWN ON THE JOB LIKE THAT!”
Anthony spins around, grabs him and violently whacks him, dropping VDB’s unconscious body.
Anthgelus: “I feel just fine.”
TO BE CONTINUED......
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