Historical Note: This fic featured a contest to guess the mystery villain.  See if you can figure out who it is, before it’s revealed!

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the BCS board or its residents, or pretty much anything else appearing in this fic, except for any and all trout. 

 

 

Leoff: “A spoiler board fic recap for GA’s board fic...”

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MB's House

The picturesque manor looks very scenic, despite several large rocket craters scattered around the property. In the back, large bay windows can be seen. Suddenly, two figures crash through one of them.

Anthony: I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TAKE HER FROM ME!!!!!!

Marcus Blucas: What are you TALKING abou- *gets slugged in the face*

 

MB:  *runs across the lawn outside*  I give!  I won’t go after your wife, I swear!

Lindsers:  Aww.... Ant’s so cute when he’s pummeling MB for me!

 

GA:  Hey, where’s Anthony, anyway? 

*music grinds to a halt*

The group looks out the broken bay windows to see Anthony holding Marcus Blucas in a headlock.

Anthony:  She’s MINE, you hear?!

MB:  I give!  Please, no more, I won’t go near her!!!!

 

AnGel X:  *on the phone*  You’re serious?  You sure about this?  Okay, no don’t cry, I won’t make you speak to them.  Thanks.  Bye!  *taps glass*  Hey, guys, listen up!  That was Marcus Blucas!  He’s giving his old house to Lindsers and Anthony in the hopes that they’ll move in there thus be on the opposite side of the country from his new one!  I have no idea HOW that happened, but I think congrats are in order!

*a cheer goes up for Ant and Lindsers*

 

Greeneyes:  *smiles*  Wow, Larry, that’s the closest you’ve come to a right answer yet.  This IS Good Cop/ Bad Cop.  Only, I am the GOOD cop, and you’d better cooperate or else I’m going to leave you alone with the BAD cop. 

Larry:  Huh?   Who’s the bad cop?

Suddenly, the open door slams shut, revealing standing behind it... F=j.  Larry’s “AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!” can be heard for miles around...

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BCS board, crisis center....

 

SocKs: *on the monitor, from GLR headquarters* “We’ve got Bravenet tearing up the net... and the gremlins seem to be on the loose again....”

Buh Buh Raven: “Tell me about it.  I can’t handle all these gremlins on my own....”

Kira: “The normal gremlins are one thing, but the problem is the ’69 one....”

Bos: “Hey, we can distract them by feeding them junk posts, right?  I’ll whip up a bunch of decoy ‘scooby snacks’ and ‘fortune cookies’ and maybe they’ll munch those....”

Da WonderSheep: “Where’s GA?  Isn’t this usually his department?”

F=j: “Someone told Grn about that singing ‘Tommy the Trout’ thing, from the makers of ‘Big Mouth Billy Bass’....”

Pouncer: “He went SHOPPING?!”

Sophie: “Actually, he seemed to be lugging a rather large amount of weaponry, and a rocket launcher....”

F=j: “HEY!  So THAT’S where that went!  Ima get him for that....”

Sarah Rose: “Hey, Great Grandma!”

F=j: *takes a moment to realize she means her*  “AAAAHHHHHH!  Don’t call me that!” *sobs* “I feel so old!  And WHAT?!”

Lindsers: “My sister, Meg (a.k.a. DDD) is on the phone.... something about spammers and the RP list?”

F=j: “WHAT?!” *takes phone, talks for minute*  “I’ll be right there...”  *hangs up*  “I don’t BELIEVE this.... someone is spamming the RP list from Antarctica!”

Hazel: “Who would want to send spam from Antarctica?”

MCLVR: “Someone who doesn’t want f=j beating down their door to kill them?”

Jana: “Will that work, Grandma?”

F=j: “NO.  And don’t call me that!”  *sobbing*

Dru: “Don’t worry, f=j, we’ll take care of Bravenet....”

Angelstarr: “Yeah.  Go get those gremlins!”

*F=j waves and heads out*

Bracken: “Okay, my surveillance is tracking Bravenet, and the gremlins.  How should we handle this?”

Dru: “I think I have an idea on how to handle Bravenet.”

Lindsers: “Are you sure?”

Lydia: “Yeah, last time BN got free, it nearly took us all down....”

Dru: “I have an idea.  Trust me.” 

Toby: “So, we have to take care of the gremlins.”

Liz K: “Like every other day.”

Bagel: “Just one thing is bothering me.... How did Larry figure out that he needed to steal Ozzie’s notebook, and then interpret the notes to free Bravenet?”

Anya: “Good point... Larry didn’t seem like he could organize all that on his own.”

Leora: “So you’re saying there’s some sort of ultimate director behind Bravenet and the trouble ITW has been causing us?”

Lindsers: “Hm.... and mom’s list is on AOL... could they be in on it too?”

Miesl Dru: *hasn’t been paying much attention, tending to her whip, looks up suddenly*  “Ultimate dominatrix?  That’s me!”

Heather: “Shoosh, you!  It’s probably that ‘My Simon’ guy... look at his face!  He isn’t trustworthy!”

MD: “This from the girl who married BoB.”

Heather: “SHOOSH!”

MD: “Besides, it’s probably Seth Green... god only knows he’s been messing up the tree badly enough for years....” *grumble, grumble*

Heather: *suddenly excited*  “Oooh!  Can we go investigate?”

Lindsers: “Well, it does sound like we should have some people looking into the possibilities.... meanwhile, everyone else help out with the gremlin hunting.”

BBR: “Yeah, I’ll take all the gremlin-trap making help I can get.”

Leoff: *notes in the minutes he’s been taking of the meeting* “Meeting adjourned....”

 

 

The office of.... well, that would be telling....

ITW: Well, sir, the boarders are scrambling every which way, just like you said they would.  But they seem to have figured out that this is all a conspiracy, and they’re already trying to figure out who you are....”

Mystery Villian: “No matter...” *looks over at the ITW pop-up ad, mini-me, who is playing with a model ship in the office* “CUT THAT OUT!!  YOU DISHONOR THE MEMORIES OF THOSE WHO WENT DOWN WITH THAT SHIP!!!!!” * takes a moment to compose himself*  “All that matters is the plan... initiate the capture of the boarders in question.”

ITW: “Right away, sir.” 

Mini-me: “No problem, J-Dawg!”

MV: *stops, looks at Mini-me, sternly* “I have accepted many titles.... many many honors in my time.... and I AM the GREATEST that my field has ever seen.... but no one calls me J-Dawg and lives.”  *pushes a button on his desk.  A trap door opens under Mini-me’s feet, and he is dropped down below into a pit, where he is quickly devoured by hungry aliens*

ITW: “Mini-me!  NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”

MV: “Is the loss of personnel going to be a problem?”  *finger hovers over the button*

ITW: “Well, I’m just going to clone another one.  But on principle....”  *sniffles*  “Ok, all better.”

MV: “Get me the boarders I need.  I must know whether this plan is working.”

 

 

The board, as the gremlin hunt begins....

 

Buh Buh Raven is living up to his title as gremlin hunter, by cooperating efforts.  Bos is providing bait for the gremlin traps, as the other boarders work setting them up.

 

JodithGrace: “We’re all set over here!”

Floss: “Only a few hundred more posts to go...”  *yawns, tired*

WiccaGirl: “Well, hopefully, the gremlins will get full and go home....”

Chloe: “The ’69 gremlin is the bigger problem.  It doesn’t matter how much gremlin bait we prepare if it just winds up 30 years in the past....”

Loa: “Hey!”  *pointing to a trap*  “I just set that a few minutes ago!  And now it’s sprung, but it hasn’t caught any gremlins!”

Saria Angel: “Have the gremlins gotten smarter than that?”

Anthony: *stepping up to the front lines from where he’s observing, looks at the trap, runs his finger along the edges*  “No... this is something else.  I’ll take care of it....” *wanders off*

Vixen: “So mysterious....”

Bowen: “Don’t even think about it, he’s my dad.”

 

Anthony walks around to the back, where he finds a figure in a leather jacket stuffing gremlin food in a bag

Anthony: “I found trout scales on the trap... you realize that stealing our bait makes you look awful suspicious....”

Green Armadillo: *looks up*  “Huh.  I guess so.”

Ant: “Care to offer an explanation?”

GA: *sighs tiredly* “Well.... I would, except... well, we were both raised on Marvel comics.....”

Ant: “Dear god!  I forgot... in Marvel Comics, anytime two heroes meet up....”
GA: “They have to fight.”

Ant: “But we don’t have any reason to!  Well, unless you’re mad at me for not finishing the Survivor fic....”

GA: “Nah.... Being a fic writer takes a lot of time; I’m one myself so I can’t blame you for taking a while at it.  ‘sides, you hooked me up with CheeryWillow on the Island....”

Ant: “Yeah... she’s a hottie....”

GA: “Of course, you’ve also slept with her yourself... as well as most of my sisters, friends, my MOTHER, and my former fiancée...”

Ant: “Fiancée?  Wait, you were engaged to VampyrSlayer, weren’t you?  Shouldn’t have let her go....”

GA: “Oh, like she’s bunches better off with you.  Maybe if you show more commitment to your women than you do to your fics....”
Ant: “Hey, if you were keeping her happy, she wouldn’t be after me....”

GA: “I don’t have time for this.  The board has real problems to deal with.”

Ant: *pulls out a collapsible quarterstaff and some playing cards* “Make some.”

GA: *produces a pair of trout*  “If you insist....”

 

TO BE CONTINUED........

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Next: GA vs. Ant!  ‘Nuff said!

Back to GA's boardfic page.