Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters or shows appearing on the WB, or celebrities related thereto, or any members of the BCS extended community appearing in this fic.  All trout appearing herein, however, are my own......

 

 

GLR headquarters and crisis rapid response center

 

Greeneyes: *looking over reports*  I’m getting conflicting information here.  Much as I hate to say it, it’s looking like the rumors might be true.....

SocKs:  JUST what we need.  Wish we could get some confirmation on that though.  Hey, didn’t we send Lindsers to talk to MB?

 

Suddenly the comm station flashes.  Greeneyes hits the receiver button.

 

Voice on Comm: Come in GLR HQ!  This is Lindsers calling *a loud explosion is heard* Lindsers calling GLR HQ!  Do you copy?!

SocKs:  Lindsers!  What’s going on?!

Lindsers: SocKs!  Thank goodness!  It’s chaos down here!  My mom showed up and she’s trying to kill MB!  I was holding her off, but then Anthony snapped and went after MB himself!  Ant thinks I want to run of with him or something!

Greeneyes: DO you want to run off with him?

Lindsers: Well... uh... *more explosions*  That’s kinda besides the point at the moment, isn’t it?!  I need help!

Greeneyes:  Okay.  I’m coming in to back you up!

SocKs:  Good luck to both of you.  I’ll try to see if I can find you more backup, but until then you’re on your own.....

 

 

The BCS Spoiler board....

 

Kurupt: Creatures of the night..... ARISE!

Drusilla: Arisen!  And I can’t BELIEVE that they’re doing all these Riley Crossovers!

DGH: Yeah!  I thought we were rid of him!

Jojo342: But I wanted to see him and Willow get together!

VampyrSlayer: I can’t see how he’s going to help any of those other shows.

CW: Riley’s so cute though!  It’ll be too bad if he’s leaving B:TVS.

Mitsy:  N’Sync Rules!!!!

 

Clearly this was not a normal night.  The Riley controversy had spread throughout the board within minutes, and there was little talk of anything else.  Suddenly, the word spread that the rumors were to be addressed.  And then....

 

Surleigh:  OMG!  It’s Joss Whedon!

Chloe: Joss is going to talk to us on the board about the Riley situation!

 

Joss Whedon: *comes to the front of the board*  Hey everyone!  *waits for things to quiet down, looks around, seems tired, someone who knew him might almost say not quite himself, although they might be inclined to blame that on the stress from addressing these rumors*

 

Joss: Hey.  I guess you’ve all heard about the whole Riley situation.  *camera shows boarders listening to Joss intently, Maye and Cece0211 look on*  From the controversy over Earshot and Graduation day, to the crackdown on great sites on the web like this one, some pretty strange things have happened over the years we’ve been doing this show.  *camera pauses over BM as he talks about the website crackdown*  Well, this takes the cake.  And the bad news is that I’ve talked to Jamie Kellner, president of the WB, and he’s ordering this to go down.  *camera cuts to Kellner’s office, we see him seated at his desk talking on his phone, camera rotates around him to reveal a Dawson’s Freak mind control chip at the base of his neck*  Riley’s going to be on every show on the WB, and there’s nothing I can do about it.  *Kuzibah, Bagel, and Ozzie stare on in shock*  Sorry gang, and we going to try to make the best of this.  But at least you all loved Riley, so you’ll get even more of him!  Later!  *Joss steps down and walks off, not taking questions.  Those watching closely enough might notice the chip on his neck as well*

 

The board is in an uproar.  People are shouting and screaming left and right in the aftermath of this announcement.

 

Kurupt:  Michelle, I think you’re going to have to say something.

AnGeL X: *nods*  I guess you’re right.  *takes the podium, the setting sun to her back as dramatic music is cued*  Everyone, listen up!  *the board falls silent, all eyes on BM*  I know that what we’ve just heard upsets a bunch of you, and I don’t ask that you like every character or every development on the show.  *Lydia and Wiccagirl look on*  What I DO ask is that you respect each other, the people who produce the show, and the rules of this board.  *EW and MD nod their heads slowly*  What we’ve just heard sounds pretty bad, the same way many of the other spoilers we’ve heard over the years sounded iffy at first.  *Wolfie and Boven smile appreciatively*   The fact is that Joss and company have come through for us every time, making a show we all love, or else we wouldn’t be here.  *music swells, Alex and Toby have tears in their eyes*  Let’s give them all a chance!

 

A huge cheer goes up across the board as the posters are inspired.  GLR’s and DS’ers hug and everyone rejoices.  In the back, though, a shadowy figure can be seen leaving the board in a huff.

 

 

The Bravenet Chat Room

 

Roxymoron:  Oh my god!  They got Chloe! 

Anya P:  You chat demon bastards!

Green Armadillo: *pulls out a large trout*  I’ll handle this......

Miesl-Dru:  There goes that silly brother of mine, trying to use a fish as weapons again.  He should get a REAL weapon, like Excalibur here.  *gestures to her whip*

David:  *looks at her skeptically*:  You named your whip after the sword bestowed upon Arthur by the pure virginal Lady of the Lake?

MD: It’s Lady of the WHIP.  Arthur was a knockoff.  I had the name first in the dominatrix room.... *everyone else backs away from MD*  WHAT?

Megg: Uh... nothing.

MD:  GOOD.  *cracks whip for good measure, everyone flinches*

GA:  *Walks back to the chat, a chat demon lies flat on the ground with a trout sticking up from its back* 

VampyrSlayer:  *shakes head at GA*  You never get tired of that, do you?

GA:  *smiles*  Nope, I don’t.  *to Chloe, who has just gotten back in from being kicked by the chat demon*  Wb Chloe!  Your chat demon’s over there....

Chloe:  *looks over at the demon*  Uh... no thanks, I’ll pass.

 

Suddenly, Talia comes running into the room.

Talia:  Everybody!  There’s big trouble!

Everyone:  What?  *no one recognizes Talia at first cause she’s from 20 years in the future and thus looks older*

Talia:  Guys, we DON’T have time, Joss just made his speech, and that means Lindsers and Greeneyes are in great danger!

Jojo342:  Huh?  They aren’t here!

Talia:  Yeah!  All I know is that after Joss’ speech, Lindsers and Greeneyes are... are.... *starts crying*

Lydia: * Looks at the crying Tal, suddenly recognizes her*  MOM?!

Roxy:  Talia?!

David:  Daughter!  But... what happened to you?  You look so different!

Anya P: OMG, mom it IS you!

GA:  *suddenly his GLR commando beeper goes off*  Uh... guys?  I think Tal is right.  I’ve got a page here that says Lindsers and Greenie ARE in danger! 

VampyrSlayer:  But Talia, how did you know that?

Talia:  I’m from the future, here to prevent a terrible war.  Listen, you need to check EVERYONE on the board for a small chip at the base of the neck.  If they’ve got one, they’re working for Larry.

MD:  Larry?  How’s HE involved in all this?

Talia:  He’s behind the Riley crossovers!  He can control people’s minds with those chips!

Roxy and everyone start checking each other for chips, no one finds any.

 

GA: *having been checked by Roxy*  I’ve got to go help Lindsers and Greeneyes.

Talia:  I’m coming with you!  I have to save my sister....

David:  Okay, we’ll make sure no one on board is under Larry’s control.....

 

 

The secret lair of.... LARRY! *duh, duh, DUNNNNNNNNN*

 

Larry:  I can’t BELIEVE it!  BM has foiled us again!

Spot:  *pokes Larry*  It’s all your fault!  You underestimated her again!

Larry:  How was I to have known that BM could calm them all down?!  We’ll NEVER get them to fight amongst themselves as long as she’s around!

Mysterious Voice 3:  Well, then, we’ll just have to take HER out of the picture, won’t we?

Larry:  *snievelling*  But, master, that won’t help!  Even when she’s gone on vacation, Kurupt and Rivana still see that order is maintained on the board!  We can’t win!

MV3:  Well then.... We’ll have to kill them ALL, don’t you think?

Spot:  Ooh, ooh, good idea, master!

Larry:  *pines in silence, watching Spot prefer MV3 over him*

MV3:  Well, can you two do ANYTHING right?  How goes the other plan?

Larry:  Our sleeper agent is in the vicinity of a battle at MB’s house.

MV3:  Well, now, have you considered ACTIVATING THEM?!

Spot:  *pokes Larry*  YEAH!  What are you thinking?!

Larry:  Yes sir.  *seethes inwardly*  What about BM?

MV3:  You people have screwed up enough.  I’ll take care of that..... personally.

 

 

The Board:

Heather:  This is strange.  I’ve checked all my children, and none of them have chips.

MD:  Wow.  That must have taken you a while.  *snickers*  Virgin ears indeed....

Heather:  Hey!  You shoosh you!

Ozzie:  More importantly, I haven’t found ANY boarders possessed either.  Who could they have?

VampyrSlayer:  Hey, has anyone seen Shaun? 

Wolfie:  *looks around*  Hm..... he said he was coming to chat....

Maye:  *comes in*  Someone see Riv around?

Bagel:  Yeah, that’s strange, she was here a minute ago....

SocKs: *carrying assorted reconnaissance data*  I’ve got some telemetry BM’s GOT to see.  Where is she?

BoB:  *looks around*  Does anyone see a disturbing pattern forming here?

 

 

MB’s House

The picturesque manor looks very scenic, despite several large rocket craters scattered around the property.  In the back, large bay windows can be seen.  Suddenly, two figures crash through one of them.

 

Anthony:  I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TAKE HER FROM ME!!!!!!

Marcus Blucas:  What are you TALKING abou- *gets slugged in the face*

 

Inside, F=j, Greeneyes, and Lindsers are slumped on the ground, exhausted.  Weapons and property damage are scattered all over the place

 

F=j:  I gotta hand it to U, daughter, your husband is impressive.

Lindsers:  Yes, I’m so proud!

Greeneyes:  So we don’t have to kill each other?

F=j and Lindsers:  *look at each other*  Nah.  *hug*

GA:  *crashes in through another window*  EVIL ONE!!!!!

F=j:  *looks at GA innocently*  What?

Talia: *runs in through the door* MOM!  SIS!!!

F=j:  What is it with you Riley-Lovers and not using doors?!

Lindsers:  It’s okay, GA, she wasn’t going to hurt anyone.

GA:  Oh.  *goes over to help them up*  So everyone’s alright, huh?

MB:  *runs across the lawn outside*  I give!  I won’t go after your wife, I swear!

Lindsers:  Aww.... Ant’s so cute when he’s pummeling MB for me!

GA:  *scratches head, confused* Guess I missed the fun, huh?  *pulls Lindsers and F=j to their feet*

Lindsers:  Yeah.  *looks at Talia*  Waitaminute, did you say sister?  MOM!  What haven’t you been telling me?

Talia:  No, Lindsers, don’t you recognize me?  It’s Talia!

Lindsers:  Talia?!  *looks her over*  Wow, it is you!

Greeneyes:  Serious makeover though.....

Talia:  Mom, aren’t you glad to see me?

 

Suddenly, F=j clocks GA in the back of the head with her flame thrower.  A Dawson’s Freak chip glimmers on the back of her neck. 

 

Lindsers and Greeneyes:  Hey!  What was that- *a rocket blast knocks them across the room*

 

Talia:  Mom!  NNNOOOOO!!!!!

F=j:  Daughter!!!!  U’ve sided with these GLR’s?  Then U shall join them!  And then Ima go post praise for Liz Parker on my Roswell list!  *points flame thrower at Talia*

Talia:  *sadly* Mom.....

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED.......

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