Aim:
to celebrate the gift of the incarnation in a humorous way
Materials:
shepherd’s outfit (dressing gown and tea towel!), animal figurine, simple
wooden cross, doll.
This is simply a monologue which you can perform with as much gusto as you can muster. You don’t need to stick to the script – the props can act as your guide.
As you come in as the shepherd, with your bag over your shoulder, mysteriously hide behind things and tell people to be quiet. After a little while, you can tell them "I'm a shepherd’s spy". It's corny, but it works, and gets the teachers’ attention as well.
"You
will never guess where I have just come from.
A bloke like me. Who'd have
thought it? A simple, smelly shepherd. I mean, I have just seen the most amazing
thing you could ever hope to see. And
what's more, I’ve got some things in here to prove it (points to bag)
It
all began the other night. Some of us
were all sitting round minding our sheep and washing our socks, when suddenly
there was this enormous light in the sky and the sound of singing like you've
never heard before. We all looked up
with our mouths open like this. (Open mouth) Suddenly, one of the angels who
was there said, "Oi, you!" At least I think it was something like that
but I can’t quite remember, we were just sitting down with our mouths
open. "Get down to Bethlehem,
"he said. "The king of the
world is about to be born and he wants you to go and see him." "All right," I said. "But who's going to look after the sheep?" "Don't worry about that," said the
angels. “You just get down to Bethlehem
and we'll mind your sheep-we’re quite good at that."
So
we ran down to Bethlehem, and we found him.
It was the most amazing night of my life. I have never seen anything, or anyone so beautiful. The king of the world. When he saw me, the baby looked at me and
laughed. I don't mean he laughed at me
in the way other people do, because I'm stupid-I think it was just because he
was glad to see me. His mother Mary was
there and she was such a sweetie. In
fact, after I had been there a while I asked if I could take a few things just
to remind myself of what I had seen.
You know, souvenirs and things like that. And she said, “No problem.”
Would
you like to see them? Okay. Well, the first thing I've got is this little
cow. (Take out animal). Okay, I know it's a bit small but I couldn't
bring you the real thing could I? Do
you know what this reminds me of? Well,
the place they were in was a stable, and it was smelly. I mean, so smelly. You might expect a king to be born in a Palace, but this one was
born in straw and animal dirt and in the most cramped little place. But it was still wonderful, and in a funny
kind of way it seemed right.
I’ll
show you the next thing then. I asked
Mary if I could take a bit of wood from the stable, just to remind me of the
place. She said, “Fine.” But when I picked this up, she got the
strangest look in her face. (Bring out
the cross) I mean, I don't know what all the fuss was about-it’s only two bits
of wood. But when I got it out she got
a faraway look and murmured something about "being born to die". I swear there was a little tear in her eye
as well.
But the best thing I took I've saved till last. You see, Mary told me that this baby was a
gift, a gift for me. So I thought I had
better do something about that. (Take
doll out of the bag). So I’ve got him
here. I figured if he was a gift then I
had better take him with me.
Why are you laughing?
I haven't done anything wrong have I?
But she said he was a gift.
Oh... You
mean, he's a gift for everyone?
Oh dear, I hadn't taken that in. It all seemed so personal.
Oh well, I suppose I had better go and take him
back. They'll be wondering where he
is. Goodbye then. (Leave hall)